Hey folks, well this is my first official post to the FFML, it's a dark fic
that
 I wrote in a two or three hour span in the early morning hours. Just a
little
background on it. It was inspired by a poem by a Canadian author by the
name of Joy Kogawa and can be found in her book Obasan, I included
the poem at the beginning of the fic, because it was an excuse to type
^_^ Anyhoo enjoy the fic. C&C are welcome

Thanks...
Crikit ^_^ \/,  crikit@geocities.com
www.geocities.com/tokyo/harbor/6508

"I don't break rules, I bend them a lot...*evil grin*"

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Standard property disclaimer here, in otherwords Ranma doesn't belong to me
and I don't intend to make any money from it.

Silences
A Ranma � Fanfic by Tracy Garnett AKA Crikit

There is a silence that cannot speak.
        There is a silence that will not speak.
        Beneath the grass the speaking dreams and beneath the
dreams is a sensate sea. The speech that frees comes forth from
that amniotic deep. To attend its voice, I can hear it say, is to
embrace its absence. But I fail the task. The word is stone.
        I admit it.
        I hate the stillness. I hate the stone. I hate the sealed vault
with its cold icon. I hate the staring into the night. The questions
thinning into space. The sky swallowing the echoes.
        Unless the stone bursts with telling, unless the seed flowers
with speech, there is in my life no living word. The sound I hear is
only sound. White sound. Words, when they fall, are pock marks
on the earth. They are hailstones seeking an underground stream.
        If I could follow the stream down and down to the hidden
voice, would I come at last to the freeing word? I ask the night sky
but the silence is steadfast. There is no reply.
>From the book Obasan written by Joy Kogawa.

Silence. Ryoga hated the silence that the night brought with it. For it was
during the nightly silence when Ryoga was lost and alone that he realized he
would always be that. He would always be lost and alone. Nothing would or
could change, for each night he lost more of the will to fight the silence,
it was a battle he could not win.

Every night Ryoga would dream the same dream. The same beginning, the same
ending and the same conclusion, the conclusion would always be Ryoga in the
silence that plagued the night and his heart. But did Ryoga choose to end
this dream? No, each night he lay his head down upon the pillow and shut his
eyes waiting for sleep and the torment to overtake him. Tonight was no
different, Ryoga knew what would happen he would shut his eyes and then all
would be lost until morning, when he would awake and continue his journey to
escape the silence. Lying on his bedroll Ryoga shut his eyes and let the
silence over take him�.

Ryoga awoke with a start, sweat covering him. Glancing around his
surroundings he discovered the familiar sleeping forms of Ranma and Genma.
He was at the Tendo dojo, but how? That last thing he could remember was
Ranma coming toward him fist clenched, arm cocked preparing to deliver a
punishing blow, and now he was here. What did it matter? He usually found
his way back to the dojo anyway so, what did it matter how he got here?

Carefully and as quiet as he could Ryoga stood and made his way out of the
room, hoping that he would be able to find the bathroom. He was sticky from
the sweat and needed to wash himself, besides he found that he thought best
when he was soaking. He was in luck he found the bathroom on the second try,
sliding the door open he made his way in and prepaid to bathe. Sitting on a
stool Ryoga scrubbed himself with the soap, picking up the bucket of cold
water that sat beside his feet he dumped it on his head and the change
began.

Ryoga could feel the change. The change that sent him from ordinary fanged
boy to cursed black pig. He hated the curse and he hated Ranma for
inflicting it upon him, but the curse was also a blessing in disguise. It
gave Ryoga a chance to get close to Akane; true it was only as her pet but
still when he was with her, Akane was his and he hers, nothing could change
that, and nothing would change that.

Suddenly Ryoga heard a gasp behind him. Turning he saw the shocked face of
his owner looking at him, unable to comprehend what she had just seen.

"Ryoga?" Akane slowly retreated from the bathroom never turning her back on
the little black pig.

"Bwwweeee�" Ryoga tried to call out to her but it was no use, pigs can't
talk. He doubted that she would listen even if he could. Still he had to
find her, he had to explain to her, and he had to apologize to her. Turning
Ryoga ran and plunged himself in the hot water of the furu, as he returned
to his original form he cursed, he had let Akane see his transformation and
now she would never forgive him. Grabbing his clothes off the floor Ryoga
ran out of the bathroom looking for Akane.

When he reached Akane's room the door was open. Looking around the room he
saw that Akane was not there, but where could she have gone? Suddenly he saw
it the window was open. She wouldn't have�but she might have. Ryoga crossed
the room and made his way out the window, it was then that he saw her. She
was standing on the roof with her back to him, looking over the edge as if
she was preparing to jump.

"Akane�" Ryoga slowly made his way across the roof to stand a few feet from
her.

"Stop, Ryoga just stop. I don't want to talk to you�"

Ryoga took another step towards Akane, his arms outstretched in an offering.
"Akane, please I'm sorry. I never meant�"

Akane whirled and look at Ryoga the hatred evident. "You never meant to
what? You never meant to deceive me? You never meant for things to go that
far? Or you never meant for me to find out?"

Pulling his eyes away from hers Ryoga looked up at the sky, tears starting
to form. "I never meant to hurt you."

Akane shook her head, letting a cold and heartless laugh, escape her throat.
"Well I guess things didn't quite work out as you wanted them too, did they
Ryoga?

"Akane please�"

"Please what?"

Ryoga inched the final steps that stood between Akane and himself, reaching
out a hand, which he carefully rested on her shoulder. "Please listen."

Akane recoiled at his touch, and stared up at him with daggers in his eyes.
"No�No I won't listen, why should I? Ryoga I trusted you, I cared for you,
I�I loved you. But all that's gone. I realize now that it was just an
illusion, your just and illusion. You never cared for me did you? I was just
some dumb chick that you could use to get to Ranma wasn't I?"

Ryoga turned his head unable to look at Akane's angry face any longer.
"No�no you have it all wrong. I do care for you Akane, in fact I love you."

"Love? How can you say you that? If you loved me you would have told me the
truth, you would have told me about your curse. But instead you pretended to
be my pet, you embarrassed me, and made me hurt Ranma. You don't know what
love is�in fact Ryoga you don't deserve to love or be loved." Akane took
another step towards the edge of the roof her intentions now clear to Ryoga.

"Akane�What are you doing? " Ryoga looked at her in alarm, and tried to move
towards her, but stopped realizing that that would throw her over the edge.

Akane's face twisted in to a sick smile as she talked to Ryoga. "What am I
doing? Well Ryoga isn't it obvious? I'm going to make you suffer. And the
only way I can do that is by removing myself from your life, and my
families. That way when you see them or walk by this house or even think
about me, you'll know�you'll know that you were the cause of my death. Oh
sure people will just say that the pressure got to me, but you'll know
Ryoga. You'll know why I did this, and it will haunt you for the rest of
your life."

With that Akane took one more look at Ryoga the sickening smile still on her
face, and threw herself off the roof.

"AKANE�."

Ryoga woke with a start covered in sweat and trying desperately to catch his
breath. Looking around he discovered he was in his tent. It was a dream, the
same dream he always has, the dream that is carried by the nights silence.
Silence. Ryoga hated the silence�.