"William Morse" <montanto@HOTMAIL.COM> wrote:

                                  Nerima Law Chapter One
                                      By Montanto

This wasn't very interesting so far because, though the setting and
atmosphere are changed, it followed the original series too closely --
even to the point of using a lot of the same exact dialog. It might've
been a good idea to skip or skim over this intro stuff, to get to the
point at which it gets substantially different.

Also, there's a whole heck of a lot of punctuation errors. This fic, I
think, set a new record for missing commas. When a speaker addresses the
person he's talking to, it needs to be set off by commas. Otherwise you
can end up substantially changing the meaning of a sentence. If Genma
says "I volunteer, Ranma!" he is being heroic, but if he says "I
volunteer Ranma!" he is being his usual self.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics