"A Fan Fiction Rant From A Reader's Point Of View"
                                or
        "A Small List Of Things Best Left Out Of Your Story"

                        By Michael McAvoy

        I love to read. There's nothing better than settling down with
a good story, especially fan fiction. After all, we all get a lot of 
enjoyment seeing the further adventures of some our favorite characters 
put into new situations.  In fact, the only thing that puts a damper on 
such pleasure is when a fan fiction author writes in a manner so teeth 
grating, it gives you violent urges. So why is it that a lot of fan 
fiction writers fall into the same traps of predictability, mediocrity, 
and just plain-gawd-awfulness time after time on such forums as RAAC 
and FFML for all to endure?  Are not writers of fan fiction also 
readers? Do they actually want to write something that they would 
normally gag over?  Or if they do have a good idea, why can they not 
get it to come across without the readers rubbing their temples and 
sighing?  And what are these traps, anyway, and why can some writers not
get out of them?

        I would like to believe they are just not aware of what they 
are doing.

        So, with that in mind, I have come up with a basic guide of 
things *I* wish people would take into consideration before starting 
their next fiction.  I can only hope that you get some benefit from 
these ideas.  If not for your own sake, then how about for the sake of 
your readers?  This is not meant to be insulting to anyone in 
particular at all.  I do not feel that running someone in the ground 
is a particularly good way to affect change.  Essentially, my hope is 
to throw an idea out there so that we might all be better for it.  So, 
try reading what I have to say and see if you 1. agree with it, 
and 2. whether or not some of the things could help your stories 
become more enjoyable for a lot more people.

**********************************************************************

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE
        Fiction is written for a lot of reasons: to entertain, horrify, 
shock, thrill, etc.  But, they all have one thing in common - someone 
has to read the story all the way through to get what you are saying.  
Now, some might say, "Hell with your guide! I am going to write what I 
want and how I want it!"  Well, okay, that is fine.  It is your time to 
spend as you see fit, but if you write in such an annoying way that no 
one wants to finish your fiction, what is the point?  After all, 
fiction is written and posted to be read and absorbed, right?  So, you 
might consider your audience just a bit.  Sure, you do not have to 
create your plot just to make them happy, but you certainly should not 
drive them to insanity by writing badly.

SELF-INSERTION
        A lot of people have an opinion on this, so let us get it out 
of the way immediately.  Some people love SI, some people hate it.  
Personally, I happen to believe that all fan fiction is self-insertion, 
because we are pulling from within our own knowledge and life 
experiences to create new situations, feelings, and responses in the 
characters, even if we did not originally create them.  After all, you 
are taking those characters into realms they have never charted, so 
their inspiration has to come from somewhere, right?  That inspiration 
is the author, so does that not make it SI to some degree, 
automatically?  Now, certainly there are levels of SI, ranging from 
slipping your own beliefs within the realm of a particular character 
to a lightning bolt hitting some otaku and sending him or her into 
their favorite show.  The decision on what level of an SI to write or 
to read is one of personal preference, and does not by default make 
for good or bad fiction.  *How* you write SI, however, does.

MIX INGREDIENTS IN BOWL AND BEAT RAPIDLY
        One day an ordinary guy is walking down the street.  He gets 
hit by a kangaroo and wakes up fifty years in the future in MegaTokyo.  
Three paragraphs later, he is a full member of the Knight Sabers.

        Okay, whoa.  Slow down.  While some fan fiction is made to be 
fast paced, the leaps you take to get a story moving right away may
strain credibility with your readers.  In this example, Sylia Stingray 
is highly suspicious of strangers and very protective of her team.  
Even if your character was to save her life in the opening paragraph, 
she is not going to let you anywhere near her team, much less wear a 
Hardsuit without some incredible circumstances, a lot of time, and a 
heck of a lot of trust and sacrifice.  It is not in the nature of 
Sylia to do otherwise in the context of her defined character, and 
when you force her to do different, your reader will scratch his head 
and think, "Hey, that would never happen like that. Lame."

        There is nothing wrong with building a plot.  There is nothing 
wrong with a story taking a little time.  I do not know why so many 
stories out there tend to fall in the three to five page in length 
range (unless those people do not like to write or they do not have 
time to do more), but you are not going to do much for the story or 
your reader if you cram a saga-sized plot into a few pages.

WOW, I DIDN"T RECOGNIZE YOU!
        (This relates to the above section) If you start skimping on 
one area of writing, it is going to affect the others.  Often the 
first to go is characterization.  A writer is so anxious to get a 
desired result, that he bends the boundaries of a known character, 
like Sylia Stingray, to make the plot work.  Only it does not work,
because the most inattentive reader will think, "Hey.  This character 
would not act like this unless something pretty significant over time 
had caused him or her to grow and change... only, nothing like that 
has happened as far as I have read."  So, why do writers do this?  
I think because most find it the easiest way to get out of the plot 
corner they have painted themselves into.  "Man, I've written myself 
into a dead end. I could spend a lot of time developing an intricate 
plot, perhaps even rewrite several pages to fix it... ooooor I could 
just make this character drop its entire persona and ideals for a 
split second."

        Hrrmmm. I wonder which is the path of least resistance for a 
writer?  Sure, you have saved yourself the agony of rewriting pages 
or actually thinking of a complex plot, but what good is it?  You 
have compromised the character.

SIZE DOES MATTER...?
        (This also relates to the above section)  I have read a lot of 
wonderful short stories in the one to five page range by a host of 
writers, both fan-fic and professional.  So, certainly size is not the 
judge of the worth of story by itself.  Surprise, it is content... 
*and* size!  Iguarantee a three page story encompassing all 1001 
nights of the search for Ifurita by Makoto is *not* going to work.  
It would have to be so vague, so random, and so incredibly trite that 
anyone who did read it would probablyforget you wrote it five minutes 
later.  A three page story about one sleepless night for Makoto as he 
struggles with his failures to find Ifurita, on the other hand, might 
be something your readers remember for a long time.  Then again, a 
fifty page dissertation on that one night, while going into great 
detail, might put your readers to sleep.

        Use your head.  Make the story as long or short as feels 
comfortable, but make sure you are trying to connect with the audience.

IT IS NOT THE DESTINATION, BUT THE JOURNEY
        Okay, I'll go along with that.  After all, three thousand 
years worth of monks pondering that idea can not be wrong.  But for 
all the wisdom it says, those monks all had a destination in mind, 
whether to be better people, wiser minds, temper their spirits, 
whatever... they all had a goal and reasons for choosing their 
lifestyle.  The journey is important, but without a destination to aim
for, it is only meandering.

        So, does your story have a goal, a purpose, and most 
importantly, an ending?  If you start writing with an ending in mind, 
say, "I want this character to achieve this by the end of the story" 
you are in no way dictating how that character is going to get there.  
You can reach that ending however you want to, but the important thing 
is you know what you are trying to achieve.  Who knows?  Perhaps the 
ending you finally do reach will be nothing like what you intended in 
the first place, but without that initial direction, you are just 
rambling, and the reader is going to sense it.  

        Readers like to be guided.  Why do you think we read fiction 
in the first place?  Well, to be given a tour by the author in his 
world that brings us a story and a conclusion of some kind.  Most 
readers will probably get pretty frustrated if the author does not 
give them a sense of direction after too long.  How long is too long?  
Well, that is tricky.  There is a fine line between the suspense of 
not knowing and riding along lost with someone who refuses to ask for 
directions.

PLOT IS A FOUR LETTER WORD
        One day Yuriko was walking home after her last shift of work.  
Then out of nowhere, Miyuki and Natsumi came screeching around the 
corner in their mini-patrol car, ran over Yuriko, and drove off 
giggling insanely.  The End.

        That *is* an exaggeration of a fic without a plot, but it 
illustrates the nature of some of the fiction written out there.  
Namely, the story is nothing but a flash of an event, be it serious 
or comedic, that gives no background, no reason for the action, and 
no consequences for what happened. It is as if the author loathes plot 
or thinks the reader will be totally mesmerized *just* by the blurb of 
action.  Again, if you want to write that sort of thing, knock 
yourself out, but the how much is the reader going to get into it?  
Would *you* rather read that, or a fic with a real story behind it?

DON"T GO THERE
        Now, I can not sit here and say, "Do not put these things in your
fiction," because who am I to make that decision for you?  
However, I can say, "These things have been put in too many fictions 
too many times," and perhaps it would be keen not to rehash these 
themes or ones like them:

  RELATIONSHIPS WITH A MAIN CHARACTER BY THE SECOND PARAGRPAH. Your new 
  character is scraping gum of his shoe when he gets tackled by Rei 
  Ayanami, who instantly proclaims her unrequited love for that 
  character, whom she has never met before.  There are a whole lot of 
  "wrongs" with a situation like this, not the least of which is Rei 
  is out of character, why would anyone tackle a guy scraping gum off 
  his shoe and fall madly in love with him for that, or a host of other 
  issues.  This relates back to *plot* and *rapid insertion* as well.  
  Granted, this is an extreme example, again, but how many people do 
  you know meet someone and are locked in some serious relationship two 
  paragraphs later?  Yet, why is it done in stories a lot?  
  It strains the reader's ability to suspend disbelief and get into your 
  story.  Take some time to build a relationship. Take some time to have 
  some antagonism, even.  Every couple that ever walked the Earth did 
  not fall in love at first site.  Heck, quite a few probably hated each
  other first off.


  BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  Skuld pops through an iced coffee and grants a 
  mortal a wish.  That mortal chooses to become a god, goddess, angel, 
  deity, etc, etc.  And then Skuld or some other god or goddess falls 
  in love with said mortal.  And the rest of the immortals resent the 
  newly made immortal.  Just be aware that your idea may have been done 
  by a zillion other authors already, and if you bring nothing 
  substantially different to the table, the readers will get bored.  
  A bored reader is not going to finish your story. Creativity is a bit 
  longer than four letters, and hence requires more effort, I would 
  suppose.

  HAVE NOT BEEN THERE, DON"T WANT TO DO THAT.  Just because no one has 
  ever done a Tenchi/Slayers/Picture Pages crossover, that involves 
  Tenchi having a graphic sex scene with Ryo-ohki, does not necessarily 
  mean you should be the one to start.  Yet there are a zillion stories 
  out there of people sticking a main character with what seems like 
  every name in the phone book.  Doing something just because it has 
  never been done before is not the greatest reason and will not 
  necessarily make a good story.  Well, if you are going for shock 
  value or trying to impress people with how weird you can be, go 
  right ahead.  How about making sure that your Tenchi/Slayers/Picture 
  Pages story is really well written, so that people want to read it 
  despite the fact it is totally off the wall?  All it takes is more 
  time and (*gasp*) effort.

  I AM, I AM SUPERMAN, AND I CAN DO ANYTHING.  Your character is 
  mopping the floor of the battleship Nadesico when she overhears two 
  crew members puzzling over a serious, highly technical problem.  
  Dropping her mop, she runs over and gives the solution easily, even 
  though she's only qualified to wash floors.  Not discounting the Good 
  Will Hunting types out there, but when you have described your new 
  main character as, say, a bored college student not even into his 
  second year of a computer science degree, the reader is going to be 
  highly suspicious when that character manages to storm a space 
  cruiser on fire, subdue the crew, stop the engines from reaching 
  critical mass, and save the universe in five minutes when the rest 
  of the members of the Nadesico can not do so.  The reader is going 
  to be incredulous when you reach out of nowhere to add an explanation 
  like, "Oh yeah, he was able to do this because he was... uh, a Navy 
  SEAL in between his college classes." Everyone has flaws, and not 
  everyone has the ability to just snap their fingers and solve a 
  situation when it is obviously beyond their experience in life to do 
  so.  So, if your character is Joe Average, don't morph him into 
  Superman in the blink of an eye (first shoot him full of some toxic 
  sludge or something, at the very least).

  LAUGH-IN.  A new character who has a "clever" or "witty" remark to 
  everything any other character ever says soon gets very irritating.  
  After all, most of us tend to find people like that in real life 
  annoying, so why should it be any different in a fiction?  Unless of 
  course, the rest of the characters find him or her really annoying, 
  too.  Granted, all of us want our fiction to have its humerous points,
  but too many attempts at being clever without some kind of reaction 
  from the rest of the characters, or being a know-it-all type, might 
  just drive the audience batty.

  THANK YOU, OBI-WAN.  Also, a new character who comes up with an 
  answer for every problem a main character has can get annoying as 
  well.  To use a previous example, Sylia Stingray is probably *not* 
  going to tell you her innermost secrets and demons, and where does 
  your character get off making wise judgments for her all the time?  I 
  mean, a helpful suggestion or observation towards people is something 
  we all do all the time, but when a character thinks he has the right 
  answer every *single* time, it gets predictable, dull, and boring.  
  Solving all problems with a fortune cookie answer is not going to 
  entertain your reader.
        
        There are a slew of other things like this, but I am not going 
to take the time to identify them.  All I am concerned with is that you 
be conscious of what it is you are writing in general.  

THEY"LL NEVER KNOW.
        You have just watched a series from front to back, and you like 
it so much, you just have to write about it!  The thing is, maybe not 
that many people have seen it.  Maybe you have a rare fan sub... so, 
you'll just basically rewrite the episodes verbatum, or maybe stick 
in a *heavy* SI-d character that represents yourself and pass it off 
as original work.

        I have seen this done not a whole lot, but frequently enough 
in Fan-fiction to mention it. As a matter of fact, I just finished 
reading a huge and lengthy BubbleGum Crisis "fan-fic", and I use that 
term very loosely to describe this story, that did nothing but retell 
the 8 OAV's word for word, except with the author directly SI-ing 
himself into the story.  All the battles ended the same, expect, 
naturally, the author tended to be the most heroic of the Knight 
Sabers, the most intelligent, and delivered a lot of killing blows.  
Okay, not only was it incredibly dull and way out of character, but it 
was out and out plagerism. The author did nothing to change the events, 
situations or anything. He merely stuck himself in a plot someone 
else had the creativity to develop, adding a few extra dialogues and 
expositions in bewteen events.  What's worse, I think this fan-fic was 
something like 1500 pages long.

        Granted, BGC is a well-known series, but I've read others like
Saber Marionette J and Escaflowne fictions that turned out to be
screenplays of serveral episodes, and then passed off by the author as an
original idea without giving credit to the series for EVERY idea.  Well,
it's a safe bet that eventually, as with SMJ and Escaflowne, a lot of
people are going to watch it, so please do not pass off the storyline as
your own work!  If it *is* really obscure, there is nothing wrong with
rehashing a series plot in a summary so readers know where you are coming
from.  There is *nothing* wrong about writing a series of events that take
place during the same time frame of an episode, but from an original
viewpoint, either!  That kind of creativity adds depth to a series, and a
lot of people, myself included, enjoy reading those new angles.  

        I said I was not going to plug or slam and particular fiction out
there, but if you want to see a GREAT example of how to retell a series
using the same episodes but with a different twist, goto the Eryie
Productions homepage at www.eyrie.net and read their Neon Exodus 
Evangelion series.  They use the same angel attacks, but the new 
character in the fiction has a personality that causes the other main
characters to gradually change over time, influencing them in little
ways till they are all characters who have grown by the end of the series.
If ever there was a shining example of how to use a someone elses ideas,
that is it. Plus, they have good grammar and syntax to boot!

        So, if you do not have the time, creativity, or integrity to do
more than just copy an anime episode, please turn your word processor off.

FORMAT C:\YOURSTORY.TXT
        So you have this really great story with a really great plot.  The
characterization is wonderful!  The action is fantastic!  But 
unfortunately, you have run-on sentences, blend your paragraphs together,
and the grammar is way off.  If you do not use some kind of standard and
recognizable format of writing, your reader is going to get a pain in
their temples trying to follow the story.  Prose has a format, poetry has
a format, stream of consciousness has a format, etc.  Readers recognize
the general type of writing and can adjust to your particular style within
the particular format.  Also, paragraphs have a purpose; they separate
different ideas, but allow them to have a flow from one idea to the other
in a smooth manner.  If you combine a character's spoken line with another
character's thought with some action that happens nearby all in one
paragraph, the reader does not know when to switch his or her attention to
the new dialogue or action.  Proper grammar and readable style is the only
thing that keeps the audience from getting lost in all the words you are
writing.

        Remember the annoying five paragraph essay you were taught in 
elementary school?  Sure, it's kind of basic and lacks style, but the 
important thing is it gives the ideas form and definition.  This more 
than any other problem I might see in a fan fiction burns me the most.  
There is nothing worse what is obvious a really good plot killed because 
it's too hard to read due to the bad syntax.  

        Of course, when you consider that 20% of Americans are
functionally illiterate, and an even higher percentage still do not know
the basics of syntax, style, and grammar, maybe it is not such a shock to
see these problems in a lot of fan-fiction.  Still, if you become
conscious of these things and take the time to learn more about them,
maybe you can improve your own writing.  All it really comes down to is a
question of ignorance, and ignorance can happily be cured with a little
effort.

***********************************************************************

So that is a little rant from a reader's point of view.  And you know, I
am not a professional writer, nor do I pretend to be.  I am an engineer,
part of a stereotyped profession that harbors some of the worst writers of
any field, but that does not mean that I do not strive to improve myself.
So why should you not do the same?  And if you are already a god at
writing, do not bother getting bent out of shape at my little article.
You probably already get aggravated enough reading fiction that has some,
if not all, of the problems I have mentioned.

Good luck on your next attempt at fan-fiction.

Mike McAvoy
mmcavoy@acm.vt.edu
www.acm.vt.ed/~mmcavoy/