-----Original Message-----
From: Gary Kleppe <kleppe@execpc.com>
To: FFML <ffml@fanfic.com>
Date: Thursday, February 18, 1999 10:21 AM
Subject: Re: [FFML][Fic][Ranma 1/2] The Other Breaking Point

"Morpheus the Shaper" <milamber@mindspring.com> wrote:

The Other Breaking Point

By

Morpheus the Shaper

The other characters are handled reasonably, but Ranma seems extremely
OOC to me. I think you really need to address *why* he's taking such
drastic and uncharacteristic steps to try to resolve his situation, when
he was generally pretty much content to follow the path of least
resistance in the series.

Yeah, I know, and you're probably right about that, but I figured that would
require either 1) a little too much exposition at basically exactly the
wrong time, or 2) an additional 3-4 pages of set up. If I can figure out a
graceful way to do it, I'll probably go back and revise it.

The writing looks pretty good... but one thing: never let two different
speakers have dialog in the same paragraph. Always start a new one when
the person talking changes.

Did I do that? Nuts!

Thanks for the input!

Morpheus the Shaper
http://milamber.home.mindspring.com