Nabiki Segment #5

[I've tried to be rational.  I've tried to make this story 
work.  I've tried to work around the various stupid 
dangling plot threads and rationalize the out of character 
behavior.  I've gotten down on my knees and begged people 
to try to NOT use this story to carry out their stupid 
vendettas.  Instead, it's made 'The Space Canine Patrol 
vs. the Knight Sabres' look like canon.  It makes 'I'm Here 
to Sleep With You' look like an exercise in humility.  It 
makes 'Debbie Does Mega-Tokyo' look like a Disney Flic.  I 
officially gave up at the start of chapter 5.  Well, now 
I'm going to indulge myself.  You hear?  CURSE YOU ALL!  
I'm going to end this and I'm gonna end it MY WAY!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!]

[Kasumi says, 'I gave little sister a sedative.  Here's her 
segment.']

        Nadoko Tenbiki lay in her love's arms, luxuriating in 
his warmth.  The most powerful man on earth was right 
next to her; she could almost smell his net value.  And he 
wanted her.  He could have had any woman on Earth, but 
who better for him than the smartest one of all?  She 
might not be as good looking as her sister the airhead or 
have a horde of destructive sponge-like boyfriends like 
her younger sister, but he needed a woman with smarts.  
And she had those in droves.

        "Is there anything I can do for you, Nadoko?  
Anything at all?" Quincy asked.

        "Can you have my younger sister and her would be 
boyfriends killed?" she asked.

         A phone call later, a horde of boomers vaporized a 
dojo in Nerima where a riot was in progress.  Nadoko's 
older sister came home from shopping and found only 
rubble.  Five minutes later, she had forgotten the dojo 
ever existed and had moved in with her chiropractor.  

         That matter dealt with, it was time for the serious 
business.  Arranging their wedding.

_____________________Section Break____________________

         The Knight Sabres and the ADPolice twits paused in 
front of the doors of the Tesla project.  They hadn't had a 
stupid argument in over three minutes and they simply 
couldn't let themselves set a new record.  Today's chosen 
topic was who got to blast the door open.  "I should use 
my laser sword!...I should blast it with my 
repulsors!...chest laser!....knuckle dusters!...Let me hack 
into it with my ECM..."  Soon, all six of them were opening 
fire on each other and beating the snot out of each other.  

        After about five minutes, they were all a mangled 
mess, knocked out and unable to move.  Several boomers 
came out and threw them into a dump truck which took 
them out to the launch pad.  They loaded them into a 
shuttle and fired them into space on a course for the sun.

         And that was that.  

_____________________Section Break____________________

         With the Sabres on their way to burn up in the Sun, 
there was nothing to stop the completion of the TESLA 
project.  OR the wedding of the millenium.  Broadcast on 
global satellite networks, everyone on Earth with a TV 
set watched.  Even the Sabres on their way to bake to 
death in the Sun had to watch.  

        They held the wedding on top of GENOM tower; it 
was the only space big enough for it.  Every ruler of every 
country came, bringing gifts of gold, silver, and more 
gold.  All of GENOM's executives came too, and the part of 
the wedding where they all groveled and kissed Nadoko 
and Quincy's feet took hours.  Katherine Madigan was the 
Maid of Honor, and Largo, who had been reprogrammed to 
be a grovelling snivelling slave, rather like a certain pig-
tailed menace to society should be, was the Best Boomer.  

        Nadoko wore the perfect wedding dress, the one her 
mother had worn, but augmented with gold and silver 
thread.  REAL gold and REAL silver.  Tiny embroidered 
money signs covered it and ringed the veil with various 
coins, including the rare and valuable 'William Jennings 
Bryan Gold Dollar'.  

        Quincy dressed in his usual exquisite garb, the 
perfect blend of modernity and traditional Japanese 
dress.  They spoke their vows, 'To have and to hold and to 
take control of the world together, until we die and have 
to buy out the afterlife'.  It was a wonderful moment.

        They kissed under a starry sky, and all her dreams 
came true.

The End.

[HAHAHAHAH!!!!  I WIN AGAIN, LEWS THERIN!]

[Kasumi says, 'I think I need to increase Nabiki's dosage.  
I guess it's your turn, Ukyou']

Ukyou's Segment #5

        It was not the end, for there are neither endings nor 
beginnings to the Wheel of Time.  

       The Wheel was about to turn.

        In one Age, called the twenty first century by some, 
an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose at the 
top of GENOM Tower.  The wind was not the beginning.  
But it was going to be someone's ending.  
        
        The wind whipped everyone's hair around, just long 
enough for them to fail to notice the caterer pull out a 
small remote control and point it at Largo.  Largo froze 
up paralyzed, and then the entire catering crew pulled 
out machineguns.  They sprayed down the entire audience 
with rubber bullets, knocking out the humans.  Then 
pinpoint laser strikes destroyed all the disguised 
boomers among them.

         Only Quincy remained standing.  "But...It's not 
possible!  Who could have done this?"

         The first of the caterers, a tall black man with a 
mostly shaved head that spelled out 'SuperFly' said, 
"Talking about...SCHAFT!"

         "You picked the wrong bunch of brothas to mess 
with," said the second caterer, a black man in a white gi 
with a black belt.  His name was Black Belt Jones, the 
baddest brother in Little Harlem in Eastern Mega-Tokyo, 
across the river.  

         "End of the line,"  Katherine Madigan said, holding a 
gun on Quincy who stared.

         "How can you betray me, Katherine?  I MADE YOU!"

        She smiled.  "I'm not Katherine Madigan."  She pulled 
off the mask and gloves she had worn during the 
ceremony.  "I'm Pamela Greer."  

       Quincy staggered back, and then the head caterer 
stepped forward.  It was Mr. Schaft.  "My name is Schaft.  
You ripped off my father.  Prepare to die."  He whipped 
out his family's honor spatula and got into a combat 
stance.  

        Quincy snarled.  "Largo!  DESTROY THEM!"

        All Largo could do was repeat, "Abort/Retry/Fail?" 
over and over.

        As Schaft charged him, Quincy reached into his pimp 
daddy outfit and pulled out a Really Big Gun.  "Get back or 
I'll shoot."

        "Fight me like a man!  With a blade!"  Schaft said.  He 
would be happy to die fighting Quincy.  Even if he didn't 
kill him.  At least it would cleanse his honor.

         "Honor is for losers and cocaine addicts!"  Quincy 
said.  He fired five times.  Yet, there was no screaming.

         "I won't let you do that,"  Black Belt Jones said.  He 
held up his hands, holding all five bullets.  "Easy for a 
master of martial arts."

         Quincy dodged Schaft's first charge and reached 
into his pimp daddy outfit again, staggering because he 
was wearing shoes with little aquariums in the soles.  It 
was hard to walk in them, but no true pimp like him could 
resist them.  "Damn you all!  I'd have had the entire 
population of the city hooked on gold chains if not for you 
and your meddling friends!"  He pulled out a light sabre.  
"Taste the fruits of Genom Research!"  With one blow, he 
cut Schaft's honor spatula to bits.

       Schaft's a bad mutha, but not a suicidal one.  He ran 
and Quincy gave chase.  His friends watched anxiously, 
but they could not intervene in a duel of honor except to 
prevent cheating.  Technically, a lightsabre was a bladed 
weapon.  
 
        He ran like the wind.  Quincy chased him round and 
round the table with the wedding cake and then Schaft 
got an idea.  Reaching over, he grabbed the cake and 
flipped it onto Quincy's head.  While Quincy was blinded 
by white angel cake, he knocked the lightsabre away and 
grappled him.  

        They rolled around on the ground, closer and closer 
to the edge.  "Schaft!  You're gonna fall to your death!"  
Super Fly shouted.

        He didn't care.  He and Quincy crashed into Largo, 
sending Largo toppling off the side of the Tower.  Super 
Fly, who had the remote control now, seized the chance 
to vaporize Largo with another pin point laser strike.  

        Quincy got the upper hand and began to bash Schaft's 
head into the duro-concrete over and over.  "HAHAHAHA!!!  
I win again!  Again and again we have faced each other 
and in every age, I either turn you to the Shadow or slay 
you, Lews Therin!  Since you will not kneel, you will die!  
Then I will use our Laser Weapon technology to dig a hole 
to free the Dark One and THIS WORLD WILL BURN!!!!"

        "I am not Lews Therin!  I am Schaft!  I am the Velvet 
Shadow REBORN!  And I will NEVER RULE THE WORLD WITH 
YOU!"  With a great effort, he kicked Quincy in the 'nads.

       Quincy flew off him, arcing in the air and coming 
down just beyond the edge of the building.  He grabbed 
onto a chunk of metal a few feet down, clinging by a 
single hand.  

        Looking at his vanquished enemy, Schaft felt pity 
for the man.  He held out his hand.  "None has walked so 
long in the shadow they may not turn to the light, Quincy.  
Take my hand!"

        "Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven!"  Quincy 
shouted.  "Next time, Lews Therin!  NEXT TIME!"  He 
laughed insanely, and let go, plummeting into the 
darkness.  "Maybe next time I'll call myself Snake Oiler..."  
His voice faded away as he fell out of sight.

         The building began to shake, great cracks opening 
and the building collapsing.  "What's going on?"  Black 
Belt Jones shouted across the chaos.

        "Run!"  Pam Grier said.  "Now that Quincy is dead, all 
the works he wrought with his power are crumbling!"  
She ran over to Schaft.  "Are you okay?"

       "I'm just fine, baby,"  he took her hand.  "Let's get out 
of here."

        Super Fly began to sing, "He's the private dick that 
gets all the chicks..."  Black Belt Jones was forced to 
slap him upside the head.

        Schaft and Pam blushed.  "Just use the remote 
control, Fly.  Hit the button labelled 'Tesla Project 
Remote Activator'."

        Fly did so.  A bright light shone down, teleporting 
away all the innocents and leaving the evil people to die 
horribly in the collapse of the building.  It also struck a 
village of Amazons in China and beamed them all into the 
collapsing building, where they didn't have time to say 
'Aiya.  Want to date with Moron?' before they all died 
screaming.  "Wow," he said.  He, Pam, Schaft, and Black 
Belt Jones were now all safely ensconced on the Riviera 
with their own mansion and hand tailored tuxedoes.  
(Well, Pam got a dress.)  "What was that?"

        "The Tesla Project creates what is known as a 
Justice Field in which everyone gets what they deserve.  
An odd thing for GENOM to invent, but they didn't realize 
how it would REALLY work."  Schaft shrugged.  "Once we 
got the plans for the control panel, we were able to use 
their own machine to destroy them.  Poetic, really."

        "Let's go dancing," Pam said.  "And maybe get some 
nice okonomiyaki.  I'm hungry."   

        "You and me both, baby."

          Roll closing theme.  

         Iris out on a kiss.

The REAL end.

[Ukyou's closing notes.  Well, this was an interesting 
experience.  Akane and I got together and voted Shampoo 
out of the next one.  Too bad you didn't get a final 
segment since I wrote the end, eh, Purple Haired Bimbo 
Girl?  NYAAAHHH!!!!]


Shampoo's Section #5

    And the whole affair would have ended tragically, if the 
stupid and ugly fates overseeing it hadn't have gotten greedy.

    In far off China, a tribe of brave Amazon warriors was 
understandably upset at having most of their population die in 
a collapsing building. Luckily, they had the Nanban Mirror.

--------

    Schaft laughed maniacally, changing out of his loud 
purple tights and into a waiter's outfit. "Soon... soon I shall kill 
Quincy and cram okonomiyaki down the throats of the world! 
Humanity shall perish of malnutrition!"

    Then he died in a burst of chaingun fire, along with his 
filthy band of washed-up 70s film actors.

    Priss set down the gun, walked over, and pecked him on 
the cheek. "Priss give you Kiss of Death."

    "You supposed to do that _before_ you kill them," Linna 
noted.  

    Priss shrugged. "It easier this way."

    "Aiyah," Sylia said. "Thank you for rescuing us from 
rocket, Liquid Hand Soap With Scrubbing Bubbles."

    The Amazon nodded, bowed, and vanished in a Nanban 
Special Effect.

    "What we do now?" Nene wondered.

    "Is easy. We kick ass."

--------

    High atop GENOM Tower, Akemi Tando and the vile 
Okonomiyaki Hag watched the wedding with interest. 
Occasionally they tried to flirt with some poor man, who 
usually either threw himself screaming off the tower or 
committed ritual suicide immediately.

    The wedding, however, was not their main concern. No, 
they were here to witness the final destruction of every last 
Chinese restaurant in Megatokyo.

    A diabolical series of spatula-shaped missles had been 
cleverly concealed amidst the wedding fireworks. When the 
time was right, they would launch, destroying the only food 
worth eating in the metropolis.

    And then... then the giant blimps currently floating above 
the city would drop fetid piles of Akemi Tando's bio-
engineered okonomiyaki on the hapless city. Millions would 
perish.

    "Haha!" laughed the Okonomiyaki Hag, protoplasm sloshing 
messily out of her stained purple tights and blue tunic.

    "Haha!" laughed Akemi Tando, scratching one armpit in a 
remarkably orangutang-like fashion.

    "Haha!" laughed Priss, firing a bazooka at the pair.

    The two archvillains yelped and jumped to cover as Priss 
and the rest of the Sabers opened fire. Tando used a large 
mallet-throwing handgun and gobs of her own cooking, while 
the Okonomiyaki Hag simply threw toxic okonomiyaki frisbees. 
Sadly, some of these stray shots managed to hit Nadoko and 
Quincy, killing them in horrible fashion. The wedding dissolved 
into a mad, panicked scramble for cover. Japanese scared 
easily.

    "Aiyah! Hag, Priss KILL!" yipped the lead Saber cheerfully. 
Leaping at the quivering blob of fetid chef, she nimbly knocked 
the Okonomiyaki Hag into a convieniently placed vat of 
hydrochloric acid. There was a lot of screaming, some foul-
smelling smoke, and then nothing remained except a cheap tin 
spatula.

    Akemi Tando, seeing her plans ruined, tried to sneak off.

    But Priss, always alert, dropkicked her into a nearby 
cage containing the stud pandas that had been brought as a 
wedding present.

    The screams lasted a long time. At least Priss _hoped_ 
they were screams. Pandas weren't terribily picky, but then 
neither was Dr. Tando.

    "Aiyah. We win," she commented.

    "Yes, we win," Linna noted.

    "Sylia think we win," Sylia pointed out.

    "Have won!" Nene cheered.

    "Priss date with Leon?" Leon asked hopefully.

    "Not until stupid Leon defeat Priss in combat!"

    "Y-M-C-A! It fun to stay at the YMCA!"

    And so the Sabers once again headed home, leaving behind  
a grateful city, a dead villian, and several extremely busy sex-
crazed pandas.


Kuno's Segment #5

    But hold! Their grand victory completed, a vile blackguard 
did confront the noble Sabers just as they prepared to depart!

    "Hahaha!" cackled the evil Waiter. "You fall once more 
into my clutches!"

    "Oh no," moaned the demure Nene, her bosom heaving in 
maidenly dismay. "Tis the accursed ravisher of women!"

    "The one with the tiny pen..." Sylia began.

    "SILENCE!" roared the Waiter, his grubby pigtail flopping 
like a dead haddock. "This time, I shall have you both!"

    "Woe!" cried all the Sabers, trembling.

    "NOT SO!" cried a noble voice.

    "Not him again," muttered the Waiter.

    Yes, twas indeed the noble Mackie.

    "Have at thee!" he cried, leaping at the foul Waiter with 
his deadly blade.

    The Waiter sneered, and drew a large handgun, which he 
didst then proceed to unload at Mackie.

    "Oh, alas!" screamed the Sabers in horror.

    Mackie caught the bullets between his teeth. "Insolent 
cur," he said, chewing and swallowing. "Now feel the vengeance 
of heaven!"

    And with that, he cut the foul waiter in two.

       To the horror of all who surveyed it, the Waiter, DID NOT DIE!
Instead, his left half began to crawl towards Sylia, the right towards
the lovely Nene.  It was too much for Priss and Linna, who fled
immediately.  Only Sylia and Nene's love for the noble Mackie let them
stand their ground, but they were paralyzed with fear.

       Twice more swung Mackie's noble blade; twice more parts of the
waiter were cut in two.  Yet now this meant that four parts of the Waiter
crawled around the ground; for such a foul sorceror was not easily
destroyed.  Yeah, the very worm that gnaws upon the flabby flesh of a
sorceror may be possessed by his evil soul and take on his form; much the
worse when the Sorceror possessed the most foul evil known as the TESLA
field, a blend of sorcerery and evil technology created by Genom, but
stolen by him.  

       Long and mighty was the noble Mackie's battle with the sorcerer as
he cut him into ever more tiny bits, yet the sorceror was relentless,
constantly growing back together or continuing to move even when reduced
to one inch cubes.  

       Yet, his battle was not in vain, for his chi grew stronger with
every blow.  Finally, using the secret Stingray Watermelon Splitting
Technique, which he had carefully modified to create the Stingray Sorceror
Smashing Technique.  Focusing all of his chi, he unleashed a mighty blow,
reducing the sorceror to powder.  Yet, with that blow, he did rob himself
of consciousness, falling into restful slumber.

       When he awoke, Nene and Sylia had garbed themself for the wedding
which they could finally have, now that the noble Mackie had freed them
from the foul sorceries of the Waiter.

       And then it was time for the Wedding night...

[Kasumi--No Naked People!  I mean it!  I had to cut all
the...the...naughty stuff.  I think I'd best lie down for a while.
Akane's turn]


[All right, sis... *this* time, I'm writing from home. Just *try* and stop
me now!]

Akane's Section #5
------------------

Priss turned to look at Linna, from where they were both standing on a
Genom Tower air vent. "You figured this out yet?"

"You mean why Sylia and Nene are dressed up and mooning like idiots?"

"Yup."

"Of course."

"Sure. It's obvious, really."

"When do you think they'll do it?"

"Any minute, now."

"Yup."

"Uh-huh."

At that moment, Sylia and Nene pulled out the large bazookas they'd hidden
underneath the ridiculous wedding dresses, and blew Mackie into a thousand
pieces.

"Saw it coming."

"A mile back," Priss agreed.

"A child of six could see it," Linna added.

"Not *his* kid," Priss disagreed.

"Well, that's not a problem anymore. Thank goodness."

"Yup."

"It seems a pity, though."

Priss shrugged and hopped down off the stack she'd been sitting on. "Well,
now that they've alerted half the Genom security forces, you ready to
storm Qunicy's office?"

"Sure. Um... didn't he die?"

"Nah. Moriarty didn't, right?"

"Um... I suppose. Oh, my."

"You wanna pick up the Happy Happy Joy Joy twins, over there?"

Linna looked over at Nene and Sylia, who were cackling gleefully over
Mackie's remains. "No, I don't think so. They need to work out a few
things, first."

Sylia brandished a large, gleaming, flat-bladed object into the sky. "The
Orb is MINE! Moohuuhahahahahahahah!"

Blushing, Linna continued, "I think they've been obsessing over bad
fantasy novels too much lately."

"Uh... yeah."

Priss led Linna to a nearby service closet, where they'd stored their
hardsuits, and after suiting up the two of them started looking for an
entrance to Quincy's penthouse. Halfway around the exterior, they ran into
Leon and Daley.

"Why, fancy meeting you here," Priss said sarcastically. "You decided to
do some real work for a change?"

"Well... you know, we started feelin' kinda bad about leavin' you behind
back there, you know, when were about to charge and everything, when
*this* baka decided to get lost --"

<WHAP!> Priss slapped Leon. "Stop teasing Daley, Leon! I mean, he's doing
his best, and it's not really his fault, you know."

"Yeah, so why doesn't he just listen to me and let me lead 'im?" Leon
muttered.

"What was that?!?" Priss demanded.

"Um..." Leon's head snapped up to look at her. "N-nothing, Priss."

"Right. Just so you don't forget it."

"Oh, dear," Linna sighed. "Why do they keep fighting like that?" she
whispered to Priss.

"'Cause they're jerks, I guess," Priss whispered back. Leon was... all
right, so he wasn't such a bad guy at times, but Daley always brought out
the worst in him. She wondered how they'd ever become partners.

Just then, they found the emergency entrance to the penthouse, and they
stopped bickering long enough to try to get the door open. Of course, the
bright stars of the Advanced Dimwit Police couldn't *get* it open, so they
just started arguing again. Priss finally had to shove both of them aside
and blow open the door with her mallet bomber. 

"Was that really necessary?" Linna asked. As nice as she was, she could be
a bit oblivious at times.

"*You* look at 'em!" Priss growled, then started to enter the doorway.
Leon decided to pull his macho act again, though, and pushed past her into
the penthouse. Served him right, because less than ten meters into the
building he was hit with an electrical charge that fried his battlesuit
and left him twitching on the ground. The charge arced through the ADP
systems and knocked Daley down as well. Priss groaned and slapped her
helmet -- she'd have seen it half a block away, if he hadn't been in the
way. "Leon no BAKA!" she shouted.

"That no way to talk about arien!" a sweetly cloying, obviously idiotic
voice drifted out into the hallway.

"And who the hell are you?" Priss demanded, storming into the room.

Facing her stood a purple-haired bimbo who'd obviously had some
artificial... augmentations. "Me GENOM mascot," she said in broken
Japanese. She drew herself up and thrust her chest out, almost causing her
to topple over. "Quincy no run this place! *I* tell him what do, when he
no in bed with slut Tenbiki!"

Priss snorted. "Uh-huh. Right."

The bimbo snarled, and waved a pair of bulbous weapons that seemed
designed to remind people of her... other attributes. "You mock Bum-Pu!
Bum-Pu *own* Genom Tower! Bum-Pu run Genom! Bum-Pu create Tesla Project!"

"Tesla Project," Linna said thoughtfully. "I've heard something about
that."

"Is only top form of bodily modification cybernetics in world!" the bimbo
said proudly, striking an arrogant pose. "Lara Croft only test subject.
Now Bum-Pu show you TRUE power of Genom technology!"

"I'm shaking in fear," Priss said, trying to keep from laughing. This was
supposed to scare people? Well, she guessed it could, in sort of the same
way the Blob scared people back in the 1950's.

"Ayah! No mock Bum-Pu no more!" With that, she pressed herself in... well,
an area we shouldn't mention here. A rumbling, hissing noise started
coming from her chest as she began inflating, and her hips began swinging
in a circle to the tune of grinding gears.

"Oh, my," Linna said, putting a hand to her mouth. "I thought hula-hoops
were dead."

The bimbo ignored her, like something beneath her attention. "Bum-Pu watch
stupid AD Police try fight Genom. Then she see handsome man who lead AD
Police teams, know he no belong with stupid cannon fodder. She lure him up
here, where stupid Knight Sablers no longer get him killed, like
flat-chested hussy who think she sing."

Priss lost her amused smile. "Why, you little --"

"Now Bum-Pu show you *real* power of singing!" She pulled a microphone out
of her... her shirt, and started singing the Chinese National Anthem. The
hideous screeching sent Linna to her knees, something about 'Winning'
smashing through the chorus like a cannonball, before Linna's hearing gave
out and she slumped unconscious to the ground. 

Gritting her teeth, Priss struggled to stay upright and fight her way
upstream against the stream of horrible noise. Step by step, she pushed
forward, worried about Linna -- though at least she was knocked out before
she could suffer brain damage. Priss was afraid she wouldn't be so lucky.

The bimbo paused for a moment. "Enjoy youself, slut?" she asked, giggling
like an airhead. Then she started in again, and Priss sagged, halfway to
the ground, before pulling herself back up. With a lunge, she swung
forward, and managed to grasp the microphone cord in her manipulators.
With a sharp, twisting pull, the cable was snapped, and blessed silence
fell across the room.

"Now, it's my turn!" Priss shouted triumphantly. She elbowed the bimbo in
the stomach; it felt like punching a cushion, but Bum-Pu went over anyway,
bouncing off a nearby wall. Priss grabbed her by a boot and started
swinging her around in a circle, harder and harder, until finally she let
go. The bimbo smashed through a window, a shard of glass cutting her as
she flew out. With a scream and a high-pitched whistling sound, she shot
over the edge of Genom Tower. Moments later, there was a loud, sharp pop,
like a balloon bursting, only 50 times louder. And that was the end of
Bum-Pu.

With her evil influence gone, Genom executives realized what evil they'd
been doing. Renouncing the creation of evil boomers forever, they
dedicated themselves to producing cooking equipment that *didn't* foul up
promising would-be chefs. With the end of boomer rampages, the AD Police
was disbanded; out of a job, Leon signed up with Priss as one of her stage
hands, and the two of them managed to get along enough for him to realize
his mistakes and apologize, leading to a more friendly life together.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

The End.

Ranma's Section #5
------------------

Unfortunately, Priss had forgot what she'd said a few minutes earlier
about Quincy. So when he came out of a hallway, Priss got caught by
surprise, and was slammed into a wall.

"HEY!... Ow. Where'd *you* come from?"

"Surely you did not think the noble Quincy would fall so ignominiously?"
Quincy sneered, striking a pose. "Whilst even the vaunted Knight Sabers
may fall prey to misinformation at times, I am nevertheless disappointed
that you did not grasp such a widely known fact about my public
appearances?"

"Huh?" Priss grunted.

The reprogrammed Largo scuttled up behind Quincy. "BGC Sourcebook, page
93. 'His mysterious aura is compounded by the fact that he has several
doubles (usually Boomer androids), making it difficult to tell if anyone
has ever met the real Quincy.' Is that what you wanted, Master Quincy?"

Quincy backhanded Largo into a nearby sofa. "Hush, infantile prattler.
While 'tis fitting for a noble samurai to give his opponent a fair chance,
'tis also considered unwise to disclose one's secrets."

"Um... then, master Quincy, why did you say that she should have known --"

"Silence, fool! Now fetch my bokken."

Largo scuttled off, and returned with a wooden practice sword. 

"Knave!" Quincy thundered. "Even you should realize that I intended you to
bring my tool of Justice Imposed, not a simple practice tool! Now go and
fetch me my carbon-fiber, monomolecular-edged bokken, without fail!"

Priss stirred groggily, and tried to lever herself away from the wall, but
just ended up falling flat on her face. Fortunately for her, at that
moment Leon woke up and decided to take a hand. He swept aside the
battlesuit -- it was just camouflage, really -- and stood up to face
Quincy. "Hey! Stop pickin' on a girl like that! Why don't you stop and
fight a *real* man!"

"Ah. I was wondering when you would regain your senses." He waved at
Priss. "This, entertaining as it was, was merely a prologue to our
confrontation." He dismissed Priss with a gesture and strode forward to
meet Leon. "Now the true battle begins." 

"Whenever you're ready," Leon replied, looking warily at Quincy.

"Hold but a moment." Quincy held up a hand to wait, then lowered it as
Largo scuttled back into the room. "Ah, faithful servant. My thanks." He
took the carbon-fiber blade in one hand and examined it lovingly, then
lopped off Largo's head with it before coming into a 'ready' stance. "We
may begin now."

Leon shook his head in disbelief. "Hey! I thought you were talkin' about a
fair fight, and now you're comin' in with a weapon against me without
one!"

Quincy shrugged. "It matters not; a true noble warrior will prevail
dispite any disadvantage in weaponry." He came back to 'ready'. "Now
prepare yourself for the mighty onslaught of the leader of Genom!"

Leon cursed, and tensed in preparation. When Quincy swung at him, he
ducked around the side of the strike, then hit the flat of the blade in
the middle. With a dull thwak, the blade shattered, cutting slashes in
Quincy's fancy suit; Leon escaped unharmed. As Quincy stared in shock,
Leon swung in behind him and threw a takedown kick to the back of his
right knee.

"You'll pay for this, boy!" Quincy snarled, as he staggered to his feet
and swung back 'round to face Leon. Unfortunately for him, Leon had
already moved on. With lightening-fast strikes to the thigh, spine, and
neck, Quincy went down for the count for good. 

"You really think that got him?" Priss asked, staggering over to the body.

Leon squatted down and felt for a pulse. "Yup. He's a goner." He looked
down at the thigh, where the white end of a broken bone poked out of the
skin, blood leaking out around it. He felt vaguely sick; the Art wasn't
supposed to be used that way, after all, but it'd needed to be done. "And
he's the real thing, too. Um, was."

Priss nodded soberly. "Thanks for saving me. After I goofed it up, I
mean."

"No problem," Leon said, waving an arm generously. "I mean, it's a true
policeman's duty to take care of those less fortunate, right?"

Priss frowned, but couldn't say anything to the obvious justice of the
comment.

                *        *        *
                
With the death of its leader,the Genom Corporation started falling apart.
Soon, what was left of the company buckled down and started making real,
useful things, like practice outfits and cheap TV shows. Unfortunately,
this didn't help Priss when her singing career went into the toilet;
eventually, Leon helped her find a job as the Voice of the AD Police,
which switched to chasing down crazy Chinese martial artists when the
Boomer problem went away. Even if she was a tomboy, she eventually settled
down enough to move in with Leon when they repossessed her trailer, and
they lived more-or-less happily ever after, even if they did fight all the
time.

The End.


Kasumi's section #5

[I'm sorry, Ranma, Akane, but I just can't leave it as it is.  It's
so... messy.]

"Oh, this will not do at all."  

Sylia surveyed the wreckage created by her cohorts.  Quincy's body
soiled the carpet; Priss' ejection of Bum-pu left shards of glass
strewn around the area.  There were the remains of some sort of
wedding; even she wasn't sure what to do with that.  At any rate,
this was a place tainted with filth.

And it was her job to get rid of the filth.  

Sighing, she walked over to where Quincy's body lay.  Leon's prowess
as a martial artist did impress her; however, there was many a time
when she wished to impress on him the importance of cleanliness. 
Opening her visor so that Leon could see her smile, Sylia chimed,
"Leon?"

The ADPoliceman turned around.  "Yeah, Sylia?"

She gestured to the body on the floor.  "Could you help me with him? 
He's rather heavy."  She turned to Priss, an idea in her head. 
"Priss, can you help him as well?  There's a few things that I need
to take care of."

The blue hardsuit crossed her arms.  "Sylia, I can lift Quincy's body
by myself!  I don't need the help of some... police officer!"

Leon crossed his arms in a similar fashion.  "Like I'd ask a tomboy
like you for help!"

"Enough."  Her voice was barely above a whisper; however, it got her
point across.  Silently, the two picked up the body and hauled it
away.  She smiled at the glances the two gave each other; it made her
feel good to bring people together.  

The stench of blood brought her back to her senses, and she looked at
the pool of blood that had been Quincy's resting place.  She moved
back a step, then charged up her laser.  Metal was so easy to clean,
if it were done quickly.

A moment later, all that remained of the mess was a smoky haze. 
Sylia opened up her deodorizer compartment, and neutralized the ozone
stench.  The floor would be hot for a little while; however, it would
soon cool in the high winds that raced through the room.  She was
about to turn her attention to the glass shards when Nene's excited
voice rang through the radio.

"Sylia!  Quick!  You should see this!"

She gave the deodorizer a few more seconds to take care of the smell,
then walked over to the computer.  "What is it, Nene?"

"The Tesla project!  The *real* Tesla project!  It's... it's..." 
Nene moved over, allowing Sylia room.  She sat in front of the
computer, and crossed her legs demurely.  

"Oh... my."  She berated herself for using such an epithet; however,
it was well-deserved in this case.  She had always though that the
Tesla project was some diabolical scheme, something to make the world
a darker place.  Far from it; it was something positive for the
world, a force for good.  She looked at the location of the program,
how it would take effect, and where.

"Sylia, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

"Of course."  Sylia opened the program, and scanned through it.  All
it needed was for one simple code to be typed in, a phrase she knew
by heart.  

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS

Sylia looked at the screen for a long moment.  "Imagine.  Someone at
Genom who actually had a conscience.  What sort of man would go to
such lengths to help the world?"

Nene frowned at the printouts.  "Some sort of medical doctor,
according to this."  She looked back up.  "Are you ready?"

Sylia smiled.  "Are you?"

Nene nodded.  They both pushed enter together, and let the winds of
change wash over them.  

-----------------------Section Break---------------------

The first thing that MegaTokyo noticed was a pinprick of light, a new
star in its heavens.  It twinkled for a moment, a pink beacon in an
unfriendly night.  

Then it was bathed in cleansing fire.  Anyone outside received the
requivalent of a sunburn; buildings were burned free of dust, while
any trash left on the streets flash-vapored to nothingness.  A musty
haze hovered over the city once it happened; fortunately, that was
not to last long.  

In an instant, boomers appeared from all over.  These were not the
terror-boomers that had been MegaTokyo's second-largest tourist
attraction; these were simple, polite, pink-colored domestic-boomers. 
They filtered the air with their vacuums, allowing the citizens to
breathe freely in a clean city once more.  The boomers went around
cleaning any trash the orbital sattellite couldn't reach, and
polishing the city spotless.  

The citizenry of MegaTokyo received a gift from the heavens that
night.  For the first time since the Restoration, the great city was
clean.  There were no more pollutants, no more garbage... nothing to
make anyone really feel angry at anyone else.  MegaTokyo had become a
nice place to live.  

And they all lived cleanly and prosperously for the rest of their
days.  Priss and Leon did eventually get married; their kids were as
noisy as their parents ever were.  Linna and Daley, likewise, found
happiness together.  Even little Nene found happiness, as she took
comfort in Mackie's arms.  

And what of Sylia, you ask?  Well, someone had to direct the domestic
boomers to keep them running.  She was happy at her job; eventually,
she found a nice doctor to help her in her task, and she lived
happily ever after.

-- The end.

*****

Kodachi's section #5

[Did you actually think you could deny the Black Rose her due?]

[Peasants.]

Sylia unplugged the virtual-reality feed into her brain, her mouth
open in a scream that didn't come.  It took her a moment to remember
that it wasn't real, that that was just some dream program that Nene
had come up with... She ran a hand over her eyes, a move more out of
conditioned reflex than any need to deny her sight.  

She walked over, and wrapped a robe around her glistening form.  To
think that things could have ended so... organic... left a bad
feeling inside of her.  She didn't miss those days, back when words
like 'mortality' and 'humanity' existed - those were best forgotten
along with the society that existed then. 

Flexing her pseudoflesh, she walked over to the window, and stared
out at the new MegaTokyo.  Like in the dream, the city glowed with
electric life; workers bustled from one end of the city to the other,
all in step with the new society.  There was no crime, no poverty, no
illness, none of the dark legacy that had been humanity's trademark;
all of that had been washed clean.  

A demure laugh rose from her enhanced vocal cords as she remembered
the Cleansing.  Humanity's chosen had already been taken to a higher
existence; heaven awaited them once the job was done.  All that was
left was the torment of the damned - a matter attended to by her own
ingenuity.  The plague acted swiftly and cleanly, attacking human
flesh wherever it encountered it, and turned it to half-rotted meat. 
She remembered the sickly-sweet smell that wafted from the city below
as the true rulers of MegaTokyo claimed their throne, how she gloried
in the writhing, screaming death throes of the old world, how she and
Largo had celebrated...  Within a week, the face of the world had
changed - and she and Largo headed that world.  The laughter pealed
from her throat, shaking the ceramic and metal walls.  

"In an enjoyable mood, Mistress?"  Priss walked in the room.  She was
so grateful for what Sylia had done to her; of course, the persuasion
program installed in her Becoming helped.  Her fellow Knight Saber
wore a black maid's outfit, the position she'd begged for once her
human life had ended.  The servant gathered up her sheets, and folded
them neatly in a pile.  

"I am, Priss.  It is a glorious day, isn't it?"

"It is, Mistress.  Will you be needing anything else?"

She shook her head.  "No, Priss.  Do be a dear and make sure we are
not disturbed tonight, okay?"

The servant nodded.  "As you wish, Mistress."  She noted the sway in
the former singer's walk; she was definitely adjusting to her new
life quite well.  The move to a higher form of existence was a bumpy
one; she herself might have gone mad were it not for Largo's guiding
embrace.  Unconsciously, she rubbed a hand against her stomach,
wishing for His embrace once more.  

*Thinking about me, love?*

She smiled.  They were in constant communication, thanks to her new
body.  They were, quite literally, of one mind and one body. 
"Always, my Largo-sama.  I do miss you..."

"Don't worry.  We'll be together soon enough."  

She scowled.  "But my love, I cannot wait anymore!  I even had to
make do with one of Nene's dream programs to keep me company!"

The sadness was felt through their connection.  "I am sorry, my love. 
I will be there as soon as I can."

Her voice turned playful.  "And how long will that be, Largo-sama?"

"Not long."

She whirled around.  Largo stood there, masculinity personified in a
hyperboomer frame.  His long black hair was tied up into a pigtail,
while his Chinese-style silks covered her favorite portions of his
anatomy.  She ran to him, and threw her arms around him.

"Where have you been, my love?"

He looked down at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the electric dawn. 
"There were some residues from before the Cleansing that needed to be
taken care of.  Someone had apparently cooked something just before
the end.  They must not have been a good cook, because it became
something... alive.  It killed several of our brethren before we
could bring it down."

"How sad."  She looked down at his chest.  "You look like you could
use some cheering up."  

Largo nodded, a smile on his face.  "Just having you here with me is
enough."  

She smiled, and began to unfasten his buttons.  "Not for me, it
isn't.  Come.  Let me show you how well I can handle this body."  She
unfastened the last button, then untied the sash of her robe.  Both
garments drifted to the floor.  

[Kodachi, seek help.  Please.  Writing thirty pages of two robots
enjoying each other's company is not the product of a well mind.  I
had to cut it at any rate; I cannot allow naked people in this - not
even mechanical naked people.]

****************

[Awww, geez -- look, I'm sorry. Why did'ja pick *today* to tell her,
anyway?]

[SHI-NE!!!!!!!!]

Ryoga's Section #5
------------------

Daley sidled along the wall, peering cautiously around the corner, wincing
at a gleam of light off the Genom Tower.

The city is a bright and lonely place, he thought.

He winced again as a shaft of light from another nearby building caught
him in the eyes. Of course, *everything* was a bright and lonely place,
after the Cleansing. The buildings of MegaTokyo were bright, and shiny, as
they had never been before. No one lived in them. The streets were clean
and neat. Nothing walked through them. Nothing human, anyway.

The end had come swiftly, for most. The clouds of plasma had come down
from the sky and swept through the streets, through the buildings,
vaporizing people before they could realize what had happened, leaving
behind nothing more than a violet fog and a bit of ash. Only a few managed
to escape the initial Cleansing. And for them, greater horrors awaited, at
the hands of the boomers.

Boomers. Daley had thought he'd hated them before. He hadn't. Not really.
The lucky survivors were caught by ordinary combat boomers, and had a
quick death. The unlucky ones were found by the elite hunter-killer
squads. They lasted a bit longer. Too long. 

Leon had been the first to go. At least the idiot atoned for his
accidental betrayal by covering for the rest of them as they escaped. Some
of the sillier ones had even made *songs* in praise of his 'gallant
stand,' if you could believe it. At least they started them, before they
were caught. Then Todo went, and Lisa... Dr. Raven, and some shady guy
called Fargo. Then another, and another... As far as Daley knew, he and
Linna were the only ones left. 

Linna... Daley didn't know what he would have done without her. She'd
been, kind of... well, strange, ever since the Cleansing -- furtive,
always looking over her shoulder, scurrying from place to place like a
mouse. (Daley paused, for a moment, thinking about the 'legendary' ability
of mice and rats to survive anything. They were all gone now, of course.
It'd take a stainless steel rat to survive in the wainscotting of this new
world. Genom was probably creating one right now.)

He met Linna every day, usually somewhere in the shadow of Genom Tower; it
made him nervous, but she made sense when she argued it'd be one of the
least likely places for the hunter-killer squads to search. She wouldn't
stay with him when he asked; it hurt, but he could understand -- she was
always the 'proper' one of the Sabers. He wasn't sure what'd happened to
the rest of them; Linna flinched and shuddered whenever he asked, and
after a while he stopped asking. It must have been something horrible --
well, that was understandable, since Largo was running Genom now -- and
she must have escaped by the skin of her teeth. He always took special
care around her after the subject came up.

Today, they were meeting in what had once been a nice little coffee shop
for Genom employees that had wanted to get out of the Tower for a little
bit. Now -- well, he didn't suppose boomers really liked drinking coffee.

Since he was the first one to arrive, he hid behind the counter, in case a
hunter-killer squad came by. Then the door-chime gave a cheery little
tinkle, as Linna entered; it sounded strange, against the mechanical hums
that now filled the city, to the exclusion of conversation, laughter, and
other human noises.

Linna jumped in fear as he stood up from behind the counter, then gasped
and sagged when she saw who it was. "Don't *scare* me like that again! For
a minute, I thought they --"

"They? They who?"

She appeared to be struggling with herself for a moment. Then several
moments. "Nothing," she finally managed to squeeze out in a whisper.
"N-nothing."

"You saw something, didn't you," Daley said compassionately, giving her a
quick one-armed hug. "Don't worry, you can talk to me about it; it'll help
you feel better."

"No!" she said quickly. "I... can't talk about it."

"Why?" he asked gently.

"I can't! I... I j-just CAN'T!"

"Shh, shh, it's OK," he replied, holding her and gently stroking her hair.
"I won't let it happen to you again."

She just looked miserable and shook her head, but didn't say anything.

"So..." Daley cast around, looking for something to say. "How did your day
go today?"

"Not... very well," she said, still shuddering a little. "How about you?
Did you find anything?"

"I saw what looked like a couple of good places to hide, if we need 'em.
That's all, though." He sighed, and held her a little closer. "I don't
think there is anyone more. I've been through the whole city by now, and
haven't found any signs of life. We're the only ones left."

Linna seemed to shrink in on herself, and buried her face in his chest.
Then she started, pulled away, and looked up at him in horror. Her mouth
worked for a moment, but nothing came out; finally, she was able to get
something out. "Daley... Daley, get out of here. Get out NOW!"

"What?" he replied, looking puzzled and hurt.

"Daley, there's a hunter-killer squad coming! You need to get away, or
they'll kill you!"

"And leave you behind?" Daley looked incredulously at her. "We all agreed,
we'd protect each other as long as there was anyone left."

"It's... it's not like that," she moaned. "Daley -- feel me. No, harder."

"I-I don't feel anything, what --"

"*There*, Daley," she said half in tears, half in exasperation.

"It feels stiff, but -- did you sprain it or something? I'll carry you,
you know that."

"Daley!" She half-choked on a sob. "Daley... I'm not human, anymore."

"What?" That didn't make sense.

"It's just pseudoflesh! They took us and *converted* us, converted me, and
now... now we're not human." 

"You're some kind of -- sexaroid?!" he shouted in indignation.

Linna collapsed against him, sobbing. "Genom has some new process that
turns people into boomers. Anyone they catch that's 'important' enough
gets the treatment. Most of the top Genom staff and half the government.
They tried to get Doctor Raven, but he refused and managed to kill himself
before the treatment was complete. And the Knight Sabers. Us most of all."

Shuddering in horror a little himself, Daley pulled her into a hug.
"That's horrible! Is there any way of reversing it?"

She shook her head miserably. "Even my brain is cybernetic now. There's no
going back."

"Well... well, sexaroids are pretty close to human, maybe there's
something --"

"Daley, there's no *time*," she yelled, breaking out of his embrace and
shoving him towards the door. "They've had me *spying* on you, don't you
understand? They've been controlling me and I've been spying on you and I
can't break free and they hardly even let me *think* about telling you
anything and they've been using you to check for other surviving humans
and now that there're none left they're going to come and *kill* you! Get
OUT of here!"

"No!" Daley roared. "I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself --"

At that moment, the hunter-killer squad came in through the door. "Ah,
agent L-NNA," the leader said gratingly. "The last human. Excellent. Stand
aside and we shall destroy him."

"NO!"

"No?"

"You let me loose when I found him... and I'm not going to let you kill
him!"

"He is the last human," the boomer said, sounding a little angry now. "He
must be destroyed. Stand aside." 

"No!" Linna spread her arms to cover Daley.

"Linna, don't do this!" Daley said. "Move out of the way, I can take 'em,
then we can get away and see what we can do --"

"They've got a transmitter planted in me," Linna said despairingly. Then a
look of determination set on her face. "Only one thing I can do..." she
murmured to herself.

"Huh?" Daley said.

Linna turned to the lead boomer, whose mouth cannon was starting to
energize. "It ends here!" she shouted triumphantly, then threw herself at
the boomer as a bolt erupted from the cannon. The bolt caught her in
mid-leap, vaporizing her instantly.

"Linna!" Daley cried. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" In a rage, he sliced the head off
of the lead boomer, then demolished the rest in a flurry of swipes and
kicks. Dropping to his knees, he picked up the last thing that remained of
her -- her headband. Black spots began appearing on the yellow fabric as
the tears rolled down his cheeks.

**************************************************

"How will it all end?" the dying leader had asked.

"In fire," was the cryptic response.

Daley climbed over the last railing, standing on the summit of Genom
Tower. Heart of the Tesla Project, that had 'cleansed' the world, wiping
humans from the face of the Earth in atomic fire. Now he was the only one
left.

Let there be a true cleansing. Let it all end as the one had said.

He climbed into the giant transmitter dish.

"Shi...

     Shi...

        HOKODAN!!!!"

And the world erupted in a blaze of light.

The End. Of Everything.