And To Think That It's Here On The FFML

by Dennis Carr

I got an account of electronic type
Amidst the bamboozling internet hype
'Twas UUCP, not really a lot,
But what could you expect?  'Twas what Waffle hath wrought.

Come mid ninety-seven, I found PPP
With a mailbox on Nerv! Oh my! Oh glee!
Japan's animation had made a strange sell
and I soon had signed up on the FFML.

"How strange," thought I, "The people in here
Are all writing stories in styles most queer.
And they speak of this Tybalt in manner most low!
Guess that's who's in charge, it would seem to be so."

I discovered an archive, with fics of all sort
And snarfed up a bunch through the twenty-first port
Crossovers, self-inserts, and MSTings galore!
But this couldn't be all, I just had to find more!

Come one day, two AM, I woke with a start
And thought "I should contribute, and put in my part.
I'll write one with Skuld, Urd, and Keiichi, and Bell,
And this I will post to the FFML!"

This started all right, but it went nowhere fast.
I'd stayed up all night, but the idea passed.
"Oh well," I had thunk, and wiped out the text,
And thought of what I should write with my name next.

I went into lurk mode for such a long while
Erasing the lemons (I found them too vile)
The traffic increased, and I said "Bloody hell!"
And I then unsubscribed from the FFML.

I waited a while, then installed OS/2,
And for lack of a rhyme, I expleted "Oh foo!"
I downloaded a mailer with whistles and bells,
And returned my address to the FFML's.

List.

I read up on fics, I downloaded some more,
And found this kid Gubby to be such a bore.
He wasted his time reading fics that were good,
So the mod'rator blacklisted him.  (Well, she should!)

But why write of people who, as of this date,
Can never return to the list due to fate?
The people who use the list *now* are more fun,
And I'm sure they know well that I'm just not quite done.

Mister Kleppe is in charge of lists of F-A-Q's
White Wolf runs the list, which we sometimes abuse
A thousand more people subscribe to the show
But nobody here that I visibly know.

There's people who carry a license to ham,
And more who have written the shortfics of [SPAM]
They come from all over the world (Do tell!)
To read all the stuff on the FFML.

The girls from Chicago, the gang from Nerima,
Some boomers, (Hey! Weren't those things built by Nishima?)
Some cops who drive Hondas, and aliens who fly
A Juraian princess who fights for a guy.

The op'rative A (who looks like a bat)
And also Ryo-ohki (who sounds like a cat)
Are here playing poker, and doing quite well.
And you'll find them all here on the FFML.

So now I pen prose with the Op'rative A.
The story we write will be finished one day.
And maybe that day, we will meet face to face.
(I guess at that time, I will clean up my place.)

But until that day comes, I will sit in my home,
And think of things that I should not put to poem.
But at least there's a place for the stories I tell,
And to think that it's here on the FFML.

***

Dedicated to the continuing memory of Theodor S. Geisel
(March 2, 1904 to September ??, 1991).  Happy belated 
birthday, Dr. Seuss.

NOTES:

For the FTP-challenged, port 21 is the default port one FTP's
through.

Yes, "thunk" is a real word.  It's the past tense of "think" at 2
in the morning. ^_^