Kosaku tried no attacks of his won,

Um... what?

Anagram.  "own"

My gut feeling about this part is that Angela gives in
to Mother Abbess' judgement a little too easily. Wouldn't
she ask for more time to straighten out her feelings, still
believing that she could work things out? Dunno, just my
own instinct here, but it just seems to me like she should
be more reluctant to give up her life's calling.

Problem is that rules are rules; she can't stay in the convent if she
doesn't take the vow.  And she's not necessarily abandoning her life;
she tells Kosaku as much.  Although I grant that at his point she's
leaning very strongly away from it, and perhaps too easily.

She produced a piece of paper.  "Here.  I've written the
address of a young married couple.  The wife attends
services here, and she does wonderful volunteer work.
Her husband is a chiropractor and a fine young man himself.

Kasumi and Tofu?

<nodnod>  This subtle joke turned out to be not nearly so subtle as I
expected.  :)

(I wonder how the heck the "Kasumi is a Christian"
rumor ever got started....)

Possibly because Takahashi herself had Kasumi wearing a cross around
her neck?

Closely-cropped dark hair, large brown eyes, a beautiful face, a

cute

body.

"Akane? You're in the wrong fic."

In the manga story where Kosaku sees Angela in a swimming suit, Angela
looks almost exactly like Akane, right down to the hair.  Only a few
times do we see Angela not wearing her habit - mostly when she's
wearing her nightgown.  Every time I saw her like that, I thought
"Akane".  Plus Angela, at times, displays an Akane-ish temper.  This
all had me flirting for about ten seconds with the idea that Angela
*was* Akane, having dumped Ranma and joined a convent.  I quickly
shelved that idea as being too cute and too distracting for the kind
of story I was telling.  But I still slipped "Kasumi the Christian" in
there.  :)

I think there needs to be more tension between
Kosaku and Chieko/Angela.

I agree with that, and I think the potential is there for it.
After all, she's given up the dream of a lifetime for this
guy; most probably, that's something she can remind
him of anytime he doesn't say his prayers, etc. And
while Kosaku is obviously gonna be ecstatic about her
moving in with him, he'll probably feel pretty guilty
about her sacrifice.

Thanks for all this analysis.  It mirrors some of my own; my only
problem was trying to work it in without dragging the fic on for too
much longer.  Maybe I need to add a few scenes.  Maybe the last scene
doesn't have to be the climax; I could work some more on developing
Angela and Kosaku.  Or maybe I just need to rework the final scene
altogether.

Argh.  Will cogitate on it all.

Gary Kleppe

Thanks for the as-usual excellent C&C, Gary.

-Richard