UNFORTUNATE JUSTICE

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             A Grain of Salt Production
                  By Grayson Towler
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The winds howled.  The snow swirled.  The chill bit
deep.  Up here, the world was a roiling stew of
blinding white and bitter cold.  Nobody visits the
deep Himalayas because they like the gentle 
climate.

The weather up here could kill a man... a lesser
man than Hibiki Ryouga, anyway.  

Even the lost boy, with his superhuman strength
and unearthly endurance, found himself taxed to 
his physical limits.  Only his deep tenacity and 
his burning need kept him moving.  It was a need...
for justice.

He had heard that justice could be found in this
desolate place, justice of a pure sort dispensed
directly from the heavens.  The wizened old monk
who had told him about the Cave of Total Justice
had cackled madly during his tale, warning him 
that true justice was a food for which many claimed
to hunger but of which few enjoyed the taste.

Ryouga didn't care.  The promise of real justice
was too tantalizing to pass up.  His life seemed to
be a journey from one cruel jape of the gods to the
next, and now he would finally get what he deserved.

It had taken him three times as long to find the 
cave as the monk had predicted, but that came as
little surprise.  There was no mistaking it when he
found the place, near the top of a peak where the
air was so thin that he felt like he was drowning on
empty vapor.  A set of golden scales glowed above
its entrance, a beacon to guide those who sought
for the boon this place had to offer.  A boon... or 
perhaps a curse...

The inside of the place was not quite what Ryouga
had expected.  He had anticipated an idol, perhaps,
or a shrine, or maybe even an actual god.  Instead,
he found himself in a relatively cramped space, lit
by a few luminous pink stones set in the wall, the
most prominent feature of which was a golden rope 
dangling from the ceiling.  There was a brass plaque 
on the wall, which Ryouga stooped to read in the 
dim glow.

"For Divine Justice, Please Pull This Rope."

Ryouga blinked a bit in surprise.  This was really
not how he'd pictured this, but oh well...

His hand hung a bare centimeter from the rope as
he pondered what might happen when he called for
the judgement of the heavens.  His fondest wish, of
course, was to get all he hoped he deserved for all
his years of suffering.  He let himself conjure visions
of Ranma laid low, yielding after being beaten fair and 
square in a last fight with Ryouga.  He saw Akane
opening her eyes to his love at last, rejecting Ranma
and declaring her true intent to stay with him forever.
He saw himself cured of his dreadful curse, standing
strong with Akane at his side, walking at last with a
certainty that he would get where he wanted to go.

But Ryouga was too much of a fatalist to believe that
would all really happen.  What kind of justice would
the gods think he deserved?  Perhaps they'd decide
to trap him as P-Chan forever, to be Akane's pet for
the rest of his life.  Perhaps they'd reveal his curse to
Akane, and he would be damned in her eyes forever.
Perhaps Ranma and Akane would immediately come
to love each other, and he would have to grin with a
broken heart as Ranma asked him to be the best man
at their wedding.

Or perhaps justice was something even worse, crueler
than he could imagine.  Perhaps if he knew, he'd run
screaming from the cave from the terrible truth.

Ryouga grit his teeth and grasped the rope.  If he was
damned by the gods, then at least he'd know he 
deserved it.  He'd come too far to turn back now.  He
took a deep breath, and gave the rope a firm yank.

A grating sound filled the tiny chamber, and Ryouga's
heart began hammering in his chest.  Something was
moving on the wall... a section of the stone was slowly
shifting aside.  Ryouga stared with bulging eyes into
the black space which was revealed, his throat 
constricted and his hands trembling.

>From the black depths, a lemon cream pie erupted 
forth and splattered against Ryouga's face.

 - - - - - -

Somewhere in planes beyond the reach of mortals,
a god rolled on the floor, clutching his sides and hooting
with laughter at the image in his scrying pool. 

Thor of the Aesir, God of Thunder and Prince of Asgard,
watched his half-brother laugh himself silly on the floor
with disgust.  "Honestly, Loki, is this the best thing you
can think of to pass the time?"

"We trickster gods have to keep in practice!" he chuckled
with glee.

The scrying pool glimmered as the image played upon 
the surface of the water.  An extremely confused young
martial artist cleaned his face off, wondering at the nature
of the Divine Justice which had been bequeathed upon
him.  The cave gave no answers, so he finally trudged 
back out into the cold to begin his long journey home.

The magic of the pool faded, and the waters grew dark.

THE END  



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Author's Notes:

As you might guess, this was inspired by the fics "Justice"
by Gary Kleppe and "Misfortune" by Ken Arromdee, and the
C&C which said fics have inspired.  It is extremely silly and
not to be taken seriously.

In case anyone is interested, I expect "Relentless" Chapter 7
to be out next week.

Grayson Towler
grayson@rigroup.net

http://www.rigroup.com/~grayson/relentless