Subject: 
        [FFML] [ff](C&C Wanted)(EVA/AMG) Change the Past 
  Date: 
        Fri, 26 Mar 1999 16:21:11 EST 
  From: 
        Shadow6865@aol.com

Description:  Shinji and Asuka are given the opportunity by Belldandy to 
go back in time and change the past in order to prevent the end of 
Evangelion.  

Comments:  The plot is a basically sound concept although I think that 
moving them into the past really should have been Urd's doing.  I can't
judge the execution of the plot since this is all exposition.  Frankly,
I think the spoilers could have been avoided simply by not showing them 
in the future in the first place.  This would work better if the author 
skipped most of the setup and got to the action.
  
On the technical side, the spelling is poor, several sentences are 
missing words, and there are some punctuation errors, generally missing
commas.  Slow down and fix the detail work.  

Also, does Belldandy really have blonde hair?  

Subject: 
        [FFML] {FFML}{DARK}{Project B.A.D.}{PART: 4 
  Date: 
        Fri, 26 Mar 1999 17:35:04 -0330 
  From: 
        Maddocks <Maddocks@roadrunner.nf.net>

Description:  The fourth in a series of teensy-tiny chapters of a more 
or less original work somehow connected to a computer game I don't know. 
In a devastated future Earth, a mad scientist with government backing, 
in an effort to create something that can live in the outside 
environment, has created a close approximation of a vampire and set him 
loose in one of the domed biospheres where humanity survives.  Meanwhile 
hackers are discovering the records of his experiments, and will 
coincidentally meet 
the product.  

Comments:  Someday this might be a good author if he improves his 
technical skills.  I'm not sure how much of this is original, but his
mad scientist and vampire are pretty convincingly characterised and 
frightening. 

On the technical end, his spelling desperately needs work, and his 
punctuation could be improved.  He also needs to avoid using exclamation
points in his narration.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][FIC][Ranma/Crossover] Private Bet #10 (part 2) 
  Date: 
        26 Mar 99 02:55:22 PST 
  From: 
        Shade <rowan-phoenix@usa.net>

Description:  Ranma, sans curse, has been zapped into the world of what
I assume to be a roleplaying game named Phaseworld, where he was 
instantly recruited into the military and is now fighting evil aliens.

Comments:  Nothing happens.  Oh we are told what has happened to Ranma 
in general terms, but it doesn't happen onstage.  The only thing that 
does happen onstage are two superior officers deciding to give him his 
first command, and Ranma thinks back about all the stuff that happened 
in the last year.  This is not the most compelling way to tell a story. 
 For example, it would been far more entertaining to have
been told the story of how Ranma got captured by an enemy, ended up 
imprisoned with a cat and tore the whole ship apart as opposed to having 
the event briefly synopsised after the fact.  The author is taking 
shortcuts and the story is paying the price.

On the technical end, the grammar, spelling and punctuation are quite 
good.  Formatting is imperfect, but not intolerable.  

However...Ranma eats a lot, but not that much.  

Subject: 
            [FFML] [fic] [Robotech] Breathing in a Vacuum, pt 4 
       Date: 
            Fri, 26 Mar 1999 05:20:14 -0500 
       From: 
            Jerico <jmele@brandeis.edu>

Description:  The Zentreidi are scheming as our fighter jock hero 
arrives at his new assignment and settles in.  

Comments:  Good style, perhaps on a par with professionally written
military sf that I have read.  No spelling, grammar or formatting
errors that I noticed.  Well done.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][GiTS][I-Y][Early Draft]Continuous Cycle 
  Date: 
        Fri, 26 Mar 1999 00:41:17 PST 
  From: 
        "Lawrence Chu" <chu_bear@HOTMAIL.COM>

Description:  Kagome does the same thing to Inu-Yasha that her 
predecessor did.  I have no idea why, or why he doesn't have problem 
with this.  Then Major Kusanagi from GITS chases a suspect

Comments:  Major Kusanagi's personal name is Motoko, not Matoko in
the movie.  Was it different in the manga?  Section 9 is not part of
the Foreign Ministry.  Section 6 was the Foreign Ministry.  
Apart from the nitpicks, this could be interesting.  The description of
her implants telling her she's out of communication was good.  

On the technical side, the formatting was flawed, a line length 
conversion problem.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Fic][MAI][Limon] El Hazard-- The World of Too Many 
Authors 
  Date: 
        Fri, 26 Mar 1999 01:23:58 -0500 
  From: 
        Matthew Lewis <maybeso@ican.net>

Description:  Four characters named after FFML authors and somewhat 
based on them have been lured to El Hazard by Matthew Lewis's 
own self-insert.  They acquire Xanth-like magic talents (as is 
standard in El Hazard) wander around and meet the regulars, while the 
narrator makes a lot of jokes and violates the fourth wall all the time. 
 
Comments:  Vaguely reminiscent of the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 
except that it lacks that work's emphasis on plot, or perhaps a fusion
of El Hazard with your average Dave Barry column.  As the Emperor of the 
Centauri pointed out, humour is a very subjective thing.  No technical 
problems.

Subject: 
        [FFML] [EVA] Children of An Elder God #6 
  Date: 
        Thu, 25 Mar 1999 21:07:33 -0600 (CST) 
  From: 
        "Ranma Al'Thor" <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>

Description:  The EVA pilots get to take on a major leaguer,
and Ithaqua the Wind Walker bites the dust.  Hoowah.  

Comments:  One of the best on-going series on the list at the moment.  
I am not numbered among those who want it to be more depressing just
to match its source materials.  I like it the way it is.  
Top marks.  One thing though...