Hey, another short little spamfic.  I know it isn't much, but every 
once in a while I get the urge to write something.  (If you're on FFIRC, 
you'll know what I'm talking about.)
  One last note: Suspend disbelief.  I'm breaking more than one wall 
here, I fear...



             Nabiki's Genesis of Evangelizing


   Nabiki fiddled with her seat belt buckle.  Questions floated in her 
mind.  Was she going to get a profit out of this one?  Or at least break 
even?  'At the very least, the subject matter is easier than easy,'  she 
thought.  Nabiki could still feel the lag from flying to LAX yesterday, 
and hoped that most of it didn't show.
   The Chevy Surburban sped down the interstate.  There were few things 
that interested Nabiki, and mile after mile of American interstate was 
not one of them.  The open spaces were especially taxing on her 
interest.  As Nabiki became bored she rifled through her carry-on bag.  
She made sure it was the one containing the copies of manga bought 
before she left Japan.  Nabiki knew that this was one of the best ideas 
she'd come up with in a long time.
   After two hours of agonizing inaction the Chevy Suburban reached the 
destination: a studio complex.  Nabiki was skeptical about how the idea 
worked.  Broadcasting free what people should be paying for?  That 
seemed sacreligious, something that she definitely wanted to avoid.  But 
at the last minute she thought that she could include a studio audience, 
and at least receive an immediate collection.  It was a gamble, but one 
that she wouldn't mind taking.
   The sidewalk outside the studio lot was crowded.  Nabiki breathed a 
sigh of relief.  She knew that if there were this many people out on the 
sidewalk, the studio couldn't seat all the people that came.  The fact 
that they might be paying customers in the future buoyed her spirits as 
she entered the studio complex.  The studio's vice-president was waiting 
for her personally in the parking lot.  He conducted her towards a golf 
cart.
   As they drove, Nabiki rehashed their deal.  Her post-office address 
would be posted on the screen every two minutes, for half-a-minute.  The 
studion itself would get a fee, rather than a percentage.  After all, 
the studio wasn't sure if she would be successful.  But they knew that 
she could pay the fee when they announced her arrival and plans for 
broadcast.  The amount of inquiry was astounding.  On the other hand, 
the fact that she had persuaded them to not only tape but broadcast was 
astounding, also...
   The golf cart stopped at sound stage 38.  Nabiki, her driver, and the 
studio executive entered the massive building.  Outside, the studio 
didn't look all that large, but the inside was positively cavernous.  
The set itself looked like a picture postcard at twenty feet, blocked by 
cameras and other assorted equipment.  As she was rushed downstairs, 
though, Nabiki made a mental note of the large masses of people who were 
seated in the facility.  The executive escorted Nabiki to a preparation 
room.
   Inside, Nabiki checked over her outfit.  After she was satisfied with 
her tee-shirt, tank top, and shorts she decided to check her notes and 
comic books to make sure everything was ready.  Since there was nothing 
wrong, she exited the room and was escorted to the set.
   Up on the main level, the crowd cheered.  'They know it, and I'll 
give it to them,' Nabiki thought.  The crowd continued cheering through 
the producer's directions and pinning on the microphone.  Nabiki saw the 
red light on the nearest camera flash and felt ready for showtime.  
'Deep breath, and then...'
   "Viewers, audience, there comes a time when someone cannot hide 
anymore.  There comes a time that wrongs have to be made right, that 
conceptions are proven or disaffirmed.  I come before you today 
challenging your ideas and ideals for fanfic.  I come before you 
offering salvation to all you otaku who live in the shadow of bad 
writing because of bad characterization.  I am here before you, on 
television, offering the ministry of the holiest of the holy: people of 
the manga!  We come here to create a movement."  She took another deep 
breath and noticed the faces etched with rapt attention.  "This movement 
is the Church of Characterization, and I shall be your leader.  Through 
our church we will start on our long road of self-analyzation.  We shall 
revisit all of our misconceptions and prejudices, and we shall break 
them to shreds!"
   The crowd went into a frenzy, yelling words like "Amen!" and 
"Hallelujah!"  The crack team of mixers in the booth above had a hard 
time trying to extract Nabiki's voice from the crowd's acclaim.  Nabiki 
took all of this in stride, silenly cheering herself.
   "Folks, today this ministry establishs itself on the face of the 
world.  However, you know that anything starting up will have a hard 
time getting anywhere without some sort of cash contribution.  The 
address to this ministry is on the screen.  With a small cash 
contribution, we can spread the word to the non-believers and win the 
fight of misrepresentation!  We will face up the people who don't 
understand.  We will face the people who refuse to accept the light of 
truth and candidness.  Favorites and hated enemies of the otaku will 
have their day in the sun."  Nabiki brought out an issue of Ranma 1/2 
manga and held it up.  The camera recorded her every movement as she 
stepped towards the edge of the stage.  "All of the questions will be 
revealed through these holy books!  These are also provided through my 
ministry, at a cost.  And remember faithful, this church of 
righteousness will take check, money order, and process credit card 
numbers too.  It won't take much, but all you can offer is appreciated."
   "Our holy crusade starts today, faithful.  For a very small pittance 
and adherence to the Holy Word, the Church of Characterization offers 
life after death.  After your writing careers are over the best and 
greatest in this Church will receive fame and notoriety for their works.  
Other otaku will only dream to be as great, but only if you follow the 
Canon of Holy Works!"  The manga was raised again, and a mighty roar 
raised the roof of the soundstudio.

   Nabiki heard the cacophony of clapping and yelling for a full two 
minutes.  She recalled that the address to her post-office box was shown 
for a full quarter of those two minutes, and sighed happily.  Her 
thought wasn't as loud as the crowd's acclaim but it held more power: 
'There might be something in this television evangelist job.'


   --- S. "Zoogz"
   --- Keeping the faith and paying my dues.  Well, they're really 
Nabiki's dues...

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