Good grammar and spelling, at least.  No format errors.

It was a dark and stormy night.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.
A door slammed; Kasumi screamed.

Good start.  You get right into the meat of the story, catching the
reader's interest.

A pirate ship came over the horizon.

Ah.  The tale broadens into a more complex story, as multiple
actors and events interact.

Somewhere in Kansai, a little boy was growing up.

Flashbacks clearly marked.  Good. You might want to consider
giving Ukyou's name a little earlier, though.

As he touched her hand, she sighed.

You had me fooled; I thought this was going to be another
exercise in Akane-bashing.  Instead, this bit ranks with the
most romantic interludes in recent Ranma fanfic.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Given the preceding paragraph, the "all" is somewhat
ambiguous.  Ranma is understood, but which, and
how many, of the other characters?

Consistent tone, good characterization, even a theme.
The plot had me guessing what would come next right
to the end.  I'm looking forward to seeing more from this
author.


(This has been an April Fool's C&C!)