Returning Home
By David Farr
Part 3

	Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and used here for the
purposes of fanfiction.
	This work in no way is connected to any other work of fanfiction.
Any similarities are entirely coincidental.

*****

	Nabiki sat quiet, busily writing in her note book.. The rest of her
class, including Kuno, sat about her, working on the maths problems their
teacher had set. A quick glance at her watch showed that she just had
time to complete one more question. It wasn't difficult she excelled at
anything to do with numbers, although the real joy came when the numbers
involved referred to cash, preferably with lots of digits.

	The lunch bell rang, signalling the end of class. Everyone looked up and
waited until the teacher dismissed them, then a number of small
conversations started as people filed out. Nabiki waited until the last
of her classmates left then made her way to the front of the class.

	"Excuse me, sir." It galled her slightly to be asking nicely, but she
also knew that people were more willing to help if you had the right
attitude.

	Mr Arokawa, Nabiki's teacher, smiled. "Ah, Miss Tendo, what juicy bit of
gossip do you have for me today?"

	It was hard, but Nabiki suppressed her desire to retort. "Actually sir,
I need some advice."

	"Oh? What on?" The man took his seat behind his desk and waved his hand
at the nearest chair.

	"Did you hear what Kuno was going on about this morning?" she inquired
as she lowered herself into the chair.

	"Your sister and Ranma Saotome having a child? Interesting tale,
unlikely though." He paused for a few moments. "But this being Saotome,
I'm guessing its true, despite the obvious problems."

	"Yes." Nabiki sighed. "It's a long story, but it ends up with the two of
them having lived five years for our last three months, and now they have
two children."

	Arokawa shook his head. "Only in Furnikan. So what is the problem?"

	"Neither of the children are registered as born with the government. I
was hoping you might be able to help us find someone to deal with the
legal problems."

	"Like a pair of sixteen years olds having a four year old child?" He
looked thoughtful. "I've got a friend who deals with family law and more
specifically adoptions. She might be able to help you. I'll call her and
see if she will see you for an interview. Do you mind if I give you her
phone number?"

	Nabiki smiled. "Thank you sir, please do." She stood and bowed. "You
have been most helpful."

	"Consider it a free service, but remember it next time you hear
something that might affect me."

	Nabiki gave him a look of shock. "Sir, are you accusing me of
gossiping?" she inquired.

	"Gossip? No, your information is too good to be gossip."

	Nabiki smiled. "Thank you sir."

*****

	Nabiki staggered out of the teacher's lounge under a huge pile of books
and loose paper. Three months was a long time Ranma and Akane's teacher
had delighted in giving the truant pair as much work as she possibly
could. Unfortunately this meant that Nabiki was doing some unwanted
weight-training.

	"Nabiki, is that you?" a voice asked from the other side of the pile.

	"Who's asking?" Nabiki snapped rudely. She wasn't in a good mood.

	"Ukyo."

	"What are you doing here, you should be home... oh right, the other
Ukyo." Nabiki tried to peer around the stack. "Umm, could you help me
with this?"

	"Right." The stack was immediately lifted from her arms. Nabiki's eyes
almost bugged out when she saw Ukyo standing there, balancing the pile on
hand.

	"What did you want Ukyo?" Nabiki asked, dusting her hands.

	"They say Ran-chan's back. Is that true?"

	Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Don't you check your messages? Yes,
they're home, but--"

	"Is this stuff for them? I can take it to them if you want."

	"Yes, it's the work they missed while they were away, but--"

	Ukyo was already halfway down the corridor. "THANKS!"

	Nabiki stamped her foot angrily. "What is with these people?! No one
listens to me!"

*****

	Another of Kasumi's perfectly cooked meals lay spread out on the table.
Ranma and Akane sat on either side of their daughter, facing their
fathers, with Kasumi sitting between the two groups. Kasumi nodded and
everyone started helping themselves. As with breakfast Ranma and Genma
started fencing over the food. While their manners at times got on
Kasumi's nerves, it was also nice to know your food was so appreciated.

	A knock at the door interrupted the meal. "I'll get it," Kasumi sighed,
getting to her feet. As she left she heard a chorus of muffled thank
yous.

	Ranma continued protecting his and his family's plates, taking bites
where he could. Truth be told Genma was only using Akane and little Ukyo
to stretch Ranma's defences. The old man had quickly found out that Ranma
was very good at looking after others.

	"Of course, we were just sitting down to lunch. Will you join us?"
Kasumi was saying as she approached the dinning room.

	"Sure, ah, I brought some Okonomiyaki along, I hope you don't mind,"
said the other person in the hall.

	"Well, that makes three," Ranma commented dryly, snagging a piece of
fish from his father's chopsticks and sliding it back on Akane's plate.
"In one day what's more."

	Akane sighed and popped the recovered morsel into her mouth. "To be
expected really. We could never have a normal life."

	Kasumi entered, followed by an ambulatory pile of papers that smelled of
freshly baked Okonomiyaki. "Please Ukyo, just put that down and take a
seat. I'm sure we won't mind sharing some of our lunch in return for your
food."

	The pile was carefully turned, revealing Ukyo. She lowered the books to
the ground, then grabbed a box from the top. "Ran-chan, I brought
this..." her voice trailed off as turned and caught sight of the little
girl sitting at the table. Little Ukyo, realising she was being stared
at, went cross-eyed and poked her tongue out at her name-sake.

	The elder Ukyo looked first from the child, to her father, then to
mother, then back to the child. The resemblance to the pair was uncanny.
Ukyo even remembered Ranma looking like that at that age. For the first
time in her life, Ukyo Kunoji swooned.

*****

	"Nabiki Tendo!"

	Nabiki looked up from her desk to find the tip of Kuno's bokken hovering
before her nose. Not surprisingly the idiot himself was standing at the
other end. "What do you want Kuno-baby?"

	Kuno went into one of those righteous poses he enjoyed so much. "I wish
to know the truth about the child I saw this morning!"

	'I guessed as much,' Nabiki thought. She propped her chin on one arm.
"Truth is such an abstract notion. What do you really want to know?"

	"Are Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome truly her parents?" the kendoist
demanded.

	"Right to the point, eh Kuno-baby?" Nabiki shifted in her seat and gazed
coolly at him. Taking a deep breath she started talking. "Well, she calls
them mum and dad, they answer to it, they look after her and yet she
couldn't possible have been born within the last nine months, let alone
conceived almost five years ago. Leaves us with a large problem, doesn't
it? Of course direct blood isn't the only thing that makes a parent. So
it's entirely possible that they both are and aren't. Then we have the
interesting fact that she's red headed, which neither Ranma nor Akane
are, unlike the pig-tailed-girl, so we've got another possibility. Then
of course we can get into the really wacky hypothesises. She could be an
alien who's disguised herself as a child and hypnotised Akane and Ranma
to make them believe she really is theirs, but that's just stupid." She
finally stopped talking, leaving Kuno and everyone else in earshot
blinking.

	Time passed while Kuno wrestled with the deluge of information. "So who
are the child's parents?!" he demanded finally.

	Nabiki drew another deep breath, but was waved silent by Kuno. "Silence,
I will obviously get no straight answers from you. I will seek my own
enlightenment."

	As Kuno strode away (forgetting that class was about to restart) Nabiki
shook her head. "What did he expect for free?"

*****

	Groaning Ukyo awoke to the distant sound arguing. Whoever they were
their voices were muffled beyond recognition. Her eyes cracked open to
the blurred image of red hair. Someone was leaning over her.

	"Ran-chan?" she inquired weakly.

	The blurry image giggled like a child. "WRONG!" It vanished. "Mum, dad,
she's awake!"

	The arguing voices stopped and in the silence she heard the whisper of
the door opening. Soft steps made their way across the room and stopped
by her. Ukyo blinked the sleep from her eyes and stared at the ceiling.

	"Ucchan?" It was Ranma, sounding very worried, but he hadn't arrived
alone, Ukyo would bet her reputation as a martial artist on that.

	Ukyo propped herself up on her elbows and turned to face Ranma and the
others. Akane stood next to him, looking concerned, as if she actually
cared, and beside him, the red-haired little girl, still looking all the
world like a young version of Ranma's female form. Ignoring her two
friends Ukyo focussed on the little girl. Cute and smiling the child
stared right back.

	"Ran-chan, Tell me she's some strange spin off from your curse," Ukyo
said, almost pleading.

	A snort escaped from Akane. "Well, at least she did better than Kuno."

	"Akane darling, that's not very nice," Ranma commented, his voice was
only slightly scolding, more... loving? No, that was impossible. Wasn't
it?

	"Ucchan," Ranma sat on the bed beside her, "we've got a lot to talk
about." He looked up at Akane, who nodded and wrapped her arms about the
child.

	"Come on Ukyo, let's leave daddy alone with his friend," she and the
girl made away. Neither of the pair on the bed said anything until the
door clicked closed.

	"Ukyo?" she asked, staring at Ranma, then "DADDY?!"

	Ranma sighed, an unusually deep sigh for him. "It's a long story Ukyo."

	Ukyo glanced at her watch, school was half over and she wouldn't need to
open the restaurant for awhile. "I'm listening."

	"That's a switch," Ranma commented dryly. "Okay then, where to begin?"

	"How about the day you two vanished?!" Ukyo suggested with not a little
impatience.

	"Right, well it was on the way to school..."

*****

	"You would have to make us late AGAIN!" Akane snapped, panting heavily.
She glared up at Ranma who dashed effortlessly along the fence, keeping
pace with her.

	"Hey, it's not my fault, blame pops!" Ranma glanced down at her, making
sure she wasn't about to clobber him. This was his first mistake.

	THAWM! The fence ended suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving Ranma to
plummet face first into the ground.

	"Who thtole the fenthe?" he asked, his voice muffled by the dirt.

	"Ah, Ranma..." Akane had come to a stop beside him. Ranma was on his
feet in a second, and joined Akane in staring,

	As they watched a large tentacle rose out of the canal, wrapped itself
around a sectiom of the fence. Metal screeched as the tentacle ripped its
prize from the ground and dragged it back underwater.

	"That's gotta be one of the stranger things we've ever seen, huh Akane,"
Ranma turned to find the only empty space next to him. "Huh? Where'd you
go?" He looked around hurriedly, and found her not meters away kneeling
on the edge of the bank looking into the canal. "Hey, that's not safe!"

	Akane stood and turned, placing her hands on her hips. "Come on Ranma,
it's eating metal!"

	Even as the words escaped her lips, the tentacle shot out and bound her.
Akane screamed as she was lofted into the air.

	"HEY! Put her down!" Ranma dashed forward and leapt, kicking out at the
monster. As his foot came into contact with it, there was a flash of
light and a wave of nauseating disorientation flowed over him, but he
shock it off. His blow had the desired effected and Akane had slipped
free. As planned he used the tentacle as a springboard and caught her in
mid-air, flipped once and landed on his feet.

	He fell further than he expected, but adapted quickly. Glancing around
he immediately saw why, the canal bank and Nerima were gone. Instead they
in some kind of crazy jungle. Spinning Ranma turned to face the tentacle,
only to find that without the canal to hide it, the creature was now out
in plain sight. It looked like a large sack lying on the ground, with
tentacles waving from an opening in the top.

	"It's back!" cried a voice from behind Ranma, startling him.

	"Damn," a second, gruffer voice cursed, "it's found some more metal to
eat. Bring up the cannons, we're gonna have to go through that again!"

	Ranma half-turned, allowing him to watch both foe and newcomers.
Emerging from amidst the vines and trees were a group of soldiers,
carrying large silvery tubes. The leader, looking like he just stepped
out of an American war movie, approached the teenagers as his men set up
the "cannons."

	"Nice save of the girl kid," he said, looking them over, "I've never
seen anyone hurt a metal eater like that. Well, not and survive."

	"Thanks," Ranma returned, not taking his eye off the creature. The
weapons the men were setting up seemed to have grabbed the things
attention, and even as it reached for them, they hummed to life. Beams of
energy struck the creature, forcing it to pull back. Just like in the
movies, these folks were using some kind of heat gun on the monster,
Ranma could feel the temperature rise.

	A flash of inspiration hit Ranma. "That things attracted to metal,
right?"

	"Prefers people actually," the gruff man answered. "Metal's just what it
uses to repair itself."

	Ranma grinned. "Even better." He handed Akane to the man. "Look after
her will ya!" Still grinning Ranma leapt away.

	"What the hell does he think he's doing?"

	"Mind putting me down?" Akane asked sweetly. The man did so, setting her
lightly on her feet and apologising. She dusted herself off, and watched
as Ranma started bobbing and weaving his way through the forest of
tentacles. The first touches of a breeze on her hair brought a smile to
her lips. "Ah."

	"HIRYU SHOUTEN HA!" Ranma thrust upwards, and the massive vortex
exploded about him.

*****

	"... anyway, that really impressed them. Apparently they'd never seen
anyone take out one of those things like that," Ranma smiled in
nostalgia.

	Ukyo fixed the young martial artist with a glare. "Interesting tale
Ran-chan, but it doesn't explain much."

	"Yeah well, it turns out that things was made by some people, and set
after those army men. When they almost had it bet, it used some tricky
move that accidentally brought it to our world, and when I hit it, it
snapped back home, taking us along with it." Ranma shook his head.
"Unfortunately none of our new friends had even the slightest idea what
had really happened. So we threw our lot in with them."

	Ranma paused, and lowered his head. "We really didn't think we'd ever
get home, and even with all our new friends, it was kind of lonely.
Especially without our family," he looked up at her, tears mixed with
apologises shining in his eyes, "or friends. I guess it was only natural
that we'd grow close."

	Ukyo shuddered and turned away. She could bear to look into those eyes.

	"Without pop and Mr Tendo about to bother us, or someone popping up at
just the wrong moment, it wasn't hard for us to admit our feelings.
Ucchan, I'm... I'm sorry." He fell silent.

	Ukyo's hands scrunched up the covers of the futon she was lying on. "Why
Ranma?" she whispered.

	"I don't know, I guess... it's the way I felt." He was whispering as
well, as if keeping quiet could lessen the pain.

	"Not THAT!" she raged, turning on him. He recoiled from the anger on her
tear-streaked face. "WHY DID YOU LEAD ME ON?! Why did you let me think I
had a chance?! You loved her you bastard!"

	"I... I... don't know. I was scared. I guess." He slumped forward, head
hanging low again. "I like you Ucchan, and I didn't want to loose you as
a friend. What I did to you, it was wrong, absolutely wrong, like
something pop would do. There's no excuse, and I'm not gonna offer one,
just ask if you can forgive me." He looked, his eyes pleading with her.

	Despite everything, the pain, the betrayal, she couldn't stay angry. As
the feelings drained away she allowed herself to collapsed back onto the
futon. "So what about Akane, and the girl? How? I mean, in three months?"

	"Well, it wasn't three months for us, it was a lot longer." He shrugged,
cutting off her questions. "Anyway, we married and in time Akane got
pregnant. When we saw it was a girl we decided to name her after someone
we knew, you know, try to claim back some part of what we still thought
we'd lost for good. Akane suggested Kasumi, but even as a baby she was
too, I dunno, fiery, for Kasumi, so I suggested your name and Akane
agreed. So we had a little Ukyo and life seemed good."

	Ukyo looked at him. "I guess that's a good second place prize then."

	"Best I could think of," Ranma grinned. He reached over and brushed a
tear off her cheek. "I was kinda thinking you might like to help us train
her. She's really into using that spear of hers, and you are about the
only person I would trust to help."

	"Thanks Ranchan, I think I'd enjoy that." She paused. "Maybe you should
finish your tale, just so I don't get any other surprises."

	Laughing Ranma started once more into his story, this time more at ease.
Every so often the pair would burst into laughter. They were still going
when there was a knock at the door and Akane poked her head in.

	She smiled at the pair. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I think Ukyo
should be opening her restaurant soon. Ranma, you and I have a lot of
work to catch up on for school too."

	Ukyo glanced down at her watch. Time really had flown past, and soon the
after school rush would begin. "The grills not even hot yet!" She hopped
out of the bed and raced to the door. As Akane stepped out of the way,
she turned back. "Do you two mind if I come back after closing to hear
some more about your adventures?"

	"We'd be glad to talk Ukyo," Akane volunteered. "Just make sure you call
first, we might be in the middle of a fight with Shampoo or something
equally insane."

	Ukyo's laughter followed her down the stairs.

	Ranma was still smiling as he stepped up to his wife. "That went well."
His arm wrapped about her waist.

	"Yeah, a little too well," murmured Akane as she was pulled close. Her
comment went unheard.

*****

	Kuno paced Furnikan high's gym, muttering to himself. The basketballers
had long since given up practice, as Kuno, deep in thought, had kept
walking into their game and absently slashing his bokken at anyone who
got too close.

	"The child called Ranma father and he treats her like a daughter," he
muttered, for the fourth time that afternoon. "Akane believes Ranma's
spawn to be her own, yet the child bares more resemblance to my
pig-tailed-goddess." He the end of the gym, spun and started to march
back. "Yet too little time has passed for any of them to bear child and
for her to grow up."

	He stopped pacing and took on what he considered to be a thoughtful
pose. In fact he looked remarkably like the statue of 'The Thinker.' "But
what if the child's resemblance to the pig-tailed-girl is more than what
it appears? What if this is some cunning plot by that foul devil Saotome
to keep her from me?"

	Thwack! His bokken slammed into the palm of his hand. "That's it!
Somehow that sorcerer, in an attempt to keep them from me, has youthened
the pig-tailed-girl and convinced Akane Tendo that she is their daughter.
Then he can have them both!"

	So distracted was Kuno by his flash of brilliance that he missed the
twin crash from beneath the bleachers. As Furnikan's resident loon raced
from the building the too spies looked at each other. Once he was gone
Hiroshi and Daisuke hurried off to find a phone. Nabiki would be kind to
anyone who offered her a warning about this, and that was much better
than peeping at the cheerleading practising.

*****

	Ucchan Okonomyaki had been more packed than ever before. Everyone from
Furnikan had come asking about Ranma and Akane. The more observant ones
had stopped after she had served her fourth burnt Okonomyaki. It had been
a battle for self-control, as various groups openly speculated on the
pair's disappearance and recent reappearance. Few of them realised just
how close to they were to the truth.

	Finally the last of the customers left, waving goodnight to the smiling
chef as they walked into the darkened streets. Ukyo slid the door close
and slipped home the bolt. She rested her head on the wooden frame and
just stood in perfect silence, listening to the quiet murmur of distant
traffic.

	"Oh Ran-chan." A single tear rolled down her cheek and hung for a moment
from her chin before falling away.

	The ringing of the telephone startled Ukyo out of her funk. Shuffling,
she crossed the room and lifted the receiver. "Moshi moshi." She shook
herself and tried to put a bit more of her usual brightness into her
voice. "Ucchan's Okonomyaki."

	"Naihao, is Shampoo here!" The amazon's cheerful voice was the last
thing Ukyo wanted to hear. In the background Ukyo could car humming.

	"Hi Shampoo, how's China?" Ukyo asked, continuing to put on her best
voice.

	"Is same as always. Grandmother get mercenary girl's message. Is true
Ranma back?"

	Ukyo sighed,what else would Shampoo call about. "Yeah, he's back.
Actually I about to go over and see them."

	"Is violent girl there to?" her voice was more dangerous now. Akane had
a habit of bringing that out in Shampoo.

	"Yep, Akane's here too. Look Shampoo, there's something I've gotta tell
you--"

	"It have to wait," Shampoo interrupted, "Shampoo's money about to run
out."

	"Wait, don't..." She trailed off as the phone clicked and the line went
dead. "Damn."

*****

	"This is going to become a reoccurring theme," Nabiki commented, having
heard Ukyo's account. They, Akane and Ranma sat about the Tendo dinning
room table, talking quietly so as not to disturb the two go players.

	"What do you mean?" Akane asked.

	Nabiki shrugged. "So far every time anyone's tried to give an advanced
warning about you two, they've been cut off. Not too surprising, but
frustrating never the less. So any ideas where they were?"

	"China somewhere," Ukyo hazarded, "I don't really know."

	Nabiki sighed. "At least we don't have to worry about them for a few
days. Which brings us to our next point of business."

	"Since when was this a corporation?" Ranma joked.

	One of Nabiki's patronising glares stuck Ranma. "Don't make fun of what
I do Ranma, I am helping you."

	"Sorry Nabiki," Ranma hurriedly apologised. "So what else is wrong?"

	"Well, I got a call from a pair of informants that tell me he's on the
warpath and perhaps more dangerous than ever. He was overheard saying
that he now believes that Ukyo, ah the child, not you Ukyo, is in fact
the pig-tailed-girl."

	Ukyo snorted, trying to hold back her laughter. "I can't wait to hear
this one."

	"It might be my fault a little," Nabiki admitted. "I tried to confuse
him and it seems he picked up a few things and twisted them."

	"I'm sure you didn't mean to," Akane soothed her, patting Nabiki's hand.

	Nabiki stared at her sister in shock for a few seconds. "Right, ah
thanks Akane. Anyway, he apparently thinks Ranma has turned the elusive
pig-tailed-girl into a child and turned her and Akane into his family."

	"That's a leap, even for Kuno. So what's he gonna try?" Ranma leaned
forward.

	"Come on Ranma, who know Kuno as well as I do."

	Ranma shock his head. "Nup, I've seen him once in the last five years."

	"He's got you there Nabiki honey," Ukyo pointed out, smiling.

	"Well," Nabiki thought for a second, drawing the word out as she did,
"I'd guess he'd try to break the spell..." her voice trailed off.

	"Ukyo!" Ranma and Akane chorused, leaping to their feet and smashing
through the go game, leaving a pair of crushed fathers in their wake.
They were only halfway across the yard when a high pitched screech rent
the air. Ukyo and Nabiki arrived at the dinning room door in time to see
light flash inside the dojo.

	Akane hit the door before Ranma, and smashed through it, showering those
inside in wood chips and tissue paper.

*****

-----------
Rarstarr,
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz