Didn't I say I'd review every fanfic that came down the pike ?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!
Now for my first victim...
<standard disclaimer>
Ninja Scroll isn't mine. It belongs to someone else.
</standard disclaimer>
Of course it isn't yours. Anyway, let's see what ya got, kid.
Yojimbo fans should be able to see this one a mile away, but I thought
it was a nice story, and one that suit Jubei very well.
C&C is always welcome.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The morning mists covered the ground like a thick feather quilt.
The soft greyish wisps hovered delicately over the rocky floor of the
pass. The chill of the morning air was starting to dissapate as the sun
peeked over the horizon. It cast a warm pink glow over the tops of the
surrounding mountains and hills, and across the small temple and farms
around the base. Stars hurried away from the light as the moon bowed
and reluctantly ended the starlight festival of the night to the day.
Excellent description. Evokes the setting wonderfully.
the bridge at all. Yet, there is was again, a slow, but insistant
insistent. BTW, you've kept up the excellent descriptions and it give
a nice opener for the fic.
slowly looked up to see a monstrous cycloptic troll hefting a large
cyclopic or maybe just make it into one-eyed, to make it easier.
to have lacked proper hygeine during the pervious hundred years or so it
hygiene and previous
"Aiyah! That tree never grows enough for two trips. Now my parents
Isn't "aiyah" a Chinese exclamation ? Sorry about the nit, but it's an English
teacher's bad habit. Been taking a few lessons in other langauages since
I was a kid. Anyway, back to the story.
"Doushitan deshou."
My Japanese ain't on par with my English, but I know what that means
but maybe you should explain it to the other readers who may not
understand. I'll do it for you. From my bad Japanese this is roughly
equivalent to "Please explain" or "Why ?". Next time, okay ?
Jubei nodded. As if on cue, a woman's sobbing could be heard as the
sound crossed the gorge.
A bit awkward on the second sentence. Maybe just make it into, "could be heard
from across the gorge."
<A lightning fast SNIP of a katana later...>
Cool combat sequence.
turned away and began to weep silently, offering a fervent prayer to the
Bhudda.
Um...isn't that supposed to be "Buddha" ? Correct me if I'm wrong about
that, 'kay ?
<SNIP went the blade of the samurai-ko fanfic reviewer...>
Well, a good fic. A very good fic. I sometime wonder how many gems
like these are ignored by the FFML community...
Anyway, keep up the good work !
Elsa Bibat
Phoenix Clan Samurai-ko... oops, wrong mailing list.From pjvandy@hotmail.com Tue Apr 6 10:24:18 1999
Received: Listar v0.114a - handled for list ffml
Received: from hotmail.com (wya-oe3.hotmail.com [207.82.253.68])
by ffml.fanfic.com (8.8.7/8.8.7) with SMTP id KAA31591
for <ffml@fanfic.com>; Tue, 6 Apr 1999 10:23:13 -0400
Received: (qmail 61586 invoked by uid 0); 6 Apr 1999 14:22:42 -0000
Message-ID: <19990406142242.61585.qmail@hotmail.com>
Received: from 143.77.101.211 by www.hotmail.com with HTTP;
Tue, 06 Apr 1999 07:22:41 PDT
X-Originating-IP: [143.77.101.211]
From: "Black Raven" <pjvandy@hotmail.com>
To: hga@acm.org
Cc: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: Re: [FFML] [spam] gary kleppe's comments about Hitomi
Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 07:22:41 PDT
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
X-archive-position: 11324
X-listar-version: Listar v0.114a
Sender: ffml-bounce@fanfic.com
X-original-sender: pjvandy@hotmail.com
Precedence: bulk
X-list: ffml
From: Harold Ancell <hga@acm.org>
To: "Black Raven" <pjvandy@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: [FFML] [spam] gary kleppe's comments about Hitomi
Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 08:48:18 -0400
And I was just sending you praise on "Rear View Mirror"....
thank you for that.
I don't know what that has to do with this... but
thank you.
Sir. I do not know what your problem is with the Lady
in question and to be honest with you I do not care.
I do not believe that this is a proper forum for you
to be making attacks upon her. You have stated 'currently
available evidence indicates' yet you gave no evidence,
merely not so thinly veiled claims that she is lying.
I gather you haven't been on the list for that long; if you check the
list
archives for 8/30-9/1, 1997, you'll discover that "Hitomi" is:
Yes, I am new to the list... I freely admit that.
She claimed a Big Mac cost 10000yen (~100US$) in Japan.
She made authoritative statements about attitudes and statistics about
abortion and criminal confession/conviction rates that were easily
proven
wrong by similar margins (I did the fact checking on the latter).
Gary was being polite; "Hitomi" is a thoroughgoing fraud and a liar.
She also happens to write *very* good stories. So we more than
tolerate
her (now indirect) story submissions. But don't expect us to accept
any statements of fact from her.
Ok... other than the 'prices' comment i don't recall anything
in her comments about any of this...
I am going off of what was written and what Gary said.
Please take your personal vendetta elsewhere.
No vendetta, just an attempt to maintain some standards of truth on the
list. Gary can be pretty nasty, but vendettas are not his style;
he did almost get burned on her abortion misinformation when writing a
fanfic, but he's been very careful about his handling this responsibly.
Several authors got a *lot* more angry about her misinformation.
And I might note that as the maintainer of the FFML FAQ, he's due a bit
of benefit of the doubt---at the very least, private email to him
asking
for confirmation ought to have been your first step.
- Harold
Okay... He still offered NO supporting evidence. That was my
main comment.
you did. thank you.
I still do not believe that this was the proper forum
for what he said in the way it was said.
Yes I am new.
Did y'all ever stop to think that maybe (just maybe)
that some of the new people would take this wrong?
BlackRaven
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com