Good afternoon, FFML. For those of you awaiting Part 3
of "The Prank That Wasn't," I beg for your patience.
I've more or less written the opening scenes for Parts
3 and 4, but I'm having trouble deciding how to get
from 3 to 4. I continue to wade through it. :) My
thanks to those who inquired after "Prank". It helps
motivate me to get things moving.

Here's a little something for your patience.

*******************************************

The Accidental Goddess

A Ranma 1/2 - Aa! Megami-sama FanFiction
By
D.F. Roeder

Based on the story idea, "New Life 1/2", by G. E.
Jordan, Jr., and used with his kind permission. Thanks
for your ongoing interest in this project.

Many thanks and deep bows to Vince Seifert for his
expertise in networking, manga, character knowledge,
and writing in general - this would be a much poorer
work without him. [If you haven't read his "The Taming
of the Horse," you should be drawn and quartered. :)]

Disclaimers: Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are
the property of Takahashi Rumiko, Shogagukan, and Kitty
(Japan), and Viz Video (USA). Aa! Megami-sama and the
characters therein are the property of Fujishima
Kosuke. No compensation has been or will be received
for the composition of this work - it is for free
entertainment purposes only.

<thoughts>

____________________

Chapter One - The Alias
____________________

A twittering in the bowels of the complex alerted the
huntress that she was closing in on her prey. She
stealthily moved down an aisle lined on both sides with
innumerable computer memory banks. At the end of the
aisle a spiral staircase led down to a powerline
junction. As she reached the bottom of the staircase
she bumped her head on the thick overhead conduit.

"ITEEEE... umph!" She slapped her hands over her mouth,
hoping against hope that she hadn't alerted the prey to
her presence. Another series of twitters, much closer
now, told her she'd been lucky. She silently thanked
Kami-sama that she'd done those personnel file changes
as a favor to the Goddess of Luck. She resumed her
stalking, her face illuminated by the pulsing conduits
in a random sequence of blue, green, and red.

She stopped after a moment and waited. A scuffling
noise brought her attention to a side room off the main
walkway. Written in the heavenly script, a sign affixed
to the wall next to the door proclaimed,
"Asgard-Midgard Data Uplink Relay Station - Section 43,
Level 37, Compartment 23." She paused as she noticed
the trio of prime numbers comprising the physical
location of the relay room. Because of her inherently
mathematical mind, the huntress took a moment to decide
whether or not to ignore this fact.

Her people had a healthy respect for portents and
omens, a respect learned through several lifetimes of
experience... mostly bad. A significant lack of such
experience during her 12 years of existence told her
that it couldn't possibly mean anything, so she entered
the room.

The huntress shook her head as she realized that this
was one of the areas of the complex that was overdue
for a millennial upgrade. It was dark, but the red
in-use lights on the relay panels cast a hazy and
indistinct illumination. The floor was littered with
old cables, making navigation somewhat treacherous. The
banks of data relays resembled nothing so much as
oversized old-style telephone switchboards;
double-ended patch cords connected the data lines from
one plane of existence to another. She shuddered to be
in the presence of such old technology.

Putting those concerns aside, she scanned the room. The
bright white coloration of her prey made it stand out
like a beacon. It had obviously gnawed through several
patch cords on the far wall and was chewing on another.
The huntress set herself, a manic grin on her face, and
began to edge around the room.

----------

"What did I say you had to do for me for this?" An
elegantly beautiful teenaged woman with warm dark brown
hair, cut to resemble a helmet, gave a wry grin as she
glanced at her companion.

"Hey! This was your idea! 'Something to pass the time,'
you said, Nabiki." The companion, another teenaged
woman, huffed and puffed in reflexive outrage. She was
also beautiful, but where the first was elegant, the
companion was exotic. Very large almond-shaped blue
eyes sat in a petite elfin face. Light olive skin was
set off stunningly by hair so red it gave new meaning
to the description. Both women had figures to die for.

"Sorry, Ranma... or should I say 'Ranko'? I have to
keep the money rolling in," Tendo Nabiki smirked.

Saotome Ranma gave Nabiki a baleful glare. "Let's just
get on with it. Okay?"

"Jeez, Ranma. You could take the fun out of a bowl of
ice cream."

Nabiki turned back to her computer and waited while the
Internet log-on finished. The assorted chirps,
whistles, and blats of interfacing modems could be
heard emanating from the machine. Her ISP homepage came
up, and Nabiki highlighted the URL navigation bar and
began typing in the first of a series of numerical IP
addresses.

"Okay. There's this person who's a friend of a friend
of a person who still owes me big yen. This person has
certain connections that allow for identities to be
constructed. Of course, this isn't the big time, so
these ID's won't hold up under a thorough check, but
they will do in a pinch. Just don't get caught. If
someone starts to do a check, grab your ID and hightail
it out of there. Ne?"

Ranma began to feel a little nervous. "I thought this
was just for fun."

Nabiki answered with just a smile as she continued to
advance through deeper levels of the server she was
currently accessing.

A screen came up showing a number of empty database
fields. "Want a library card?"

"What for?"

"Good point." Nabiki squinted at the next address on
her handwritten list. "Does that first number look like
a '1' or a '2' to you?"

Ranma eyeballed the scribbles. "Beats me."

"Well... it looks more like a '2' to me." She typed
299.43.37.23 into the URL field. The status bar read,
*TCP/YP gateway active. Contacting uplink...*

----------

The huntress took her weapon out of its holder and
hefted it, testing the feel and weight. She was almost
in range. Steady... Steady...

She stepped on the plug-end of a cable, and the housing
broke with an audible snap. The prey whirled around,
then bounced off the panel and began to head for the
entrance. Unfortunately, the huntress was already too
close. She pressed a button, and the head of the weapon
extended as she brought it down in an arc precisely
impacting the prey on the cranium. Its eyes crossed,
and the entire creature vanished with a 'pop'.

"YES!! I am a GENIUS!" Skuld, Norn Goddess of the
Future and debugger extraordinaire, hopped around in
glee. "That was the last one. Yay! I can go home, now.
No more bugs for me, no more bugs for me, no more..."
She wilted when she saw the damage the bug had caused,
but upon closer inspection she decided that it wasn't
so bad. All she needed to do was replace some patch
cords.

She gathered a few of the loose cables off the floor
and walked to the damaged panels. Skuld smiled when she
saw that although the chewed-through cable ends were
hanging loosely, the damaged connections were in close
enough proximity that she could easily tell which two
ends were supposed to connect - the cables weren't long
enough to accommodate any other possibilities. She
proceeded to repair the damage.

When she got to the last damaged connection, she had a
problem. The bug had managed to yank one of the cable
ends out of the board. She bent down, picked up an
undamaged cable, and stared at the board. There were
several empty jacks, but there was no clear indication
of where the plug had been. She peered closely at the
numbers embossed in the metal over the empty jack
holes.

"198... 213... 220... 256... 277... 299... 313... GAH!
I'm not getting anywhere. TERMINAL!" A holographic
computer interface materialized in front of the
diminutive goddess. It looked similar to a laptop, but
it was translucent. *Password* blinked above an empty
text field, and Skuld entered her email address.
Remembering passwords was not one of her many talents,
and she made life as simple as possible in that
respect. *Access Granted* flashed up, and she began
typing at an ungodly (or perhaps godly) speed. Soon,
she had the history in line graph form of the past use
of all the open lines on the panel she was repairing.
None showed any use in the last 200 years, but subnet
line 299 had a red indicator denoting a real-time
current access attempt.

Skuld jumped for joy, "Luckeee!" and stepped over
quickly to put the new cable in place. She pulled the
remaining damaged line out and plugged one end of the
new cable into the same jack.

Unseen by Skuld, the indicator for subnet 299
disappeared from the computer terminal, and the message
bar next to it now read, *Incoming Midgard access
status: awaiting authentication. Relay station
supervisory mode in effect. Press Cancel or say 'No' to
terminate connection. Press Enter or say 'Yes' to
authenticate.*

With a big grin Skuld slammed the other end of the
cable into jack 299. "YES!" she exclaimed in joy.

*Access approval logged: Skuld, Goddess, Category 2,
Class 2, Limited.*

"Terminal off!" Skuld left the newly repaired patch
panel and moved to pick up her debugging hammer.
Pressing the button on the handle again, she watched
the weapon retract into its normal size. She slipped
the handle end into the carrier on her back and shoved
it home with satisfaction. Images of 131 Flavors danced
in her head as she left the relay room.

The red in-use light for subnet data line 299 glowed.

----------

Ranma locked her hands behind her head and leaned back
in the chair. "What's takin' so long?"

"Patience. Sometimes these unnamed server addresses are
buried deep and you have to wait to get access."

"What's a server, anyway?" Ranma asked while staring at
the ceiling.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Saotome, do you know anything
about the modern world?"

Ranma scowled as she cracked her spine across the back
of the chair. "Excuse ME for bein' on a ten-year
trainin' trip."

Nabiki looked at the redhead as she continued to arch
her back and smirked. "By the way, Ranma. Nice tits."

"Thanks. I... WHAT?!" Ranma sat forward with a stunned
look. Nabiki was having a hearty laugh.

"You're too easy, WAY too easy," Nabiki chortled.

Ranma huffed, but then grinned evilly. "I seem to
remember you likin' 'em plenty."

Now Nabiki looked a little stunned. "Wha-WHAT?!" For
once, her ubiquitous cool slipped.

"HAHAHA! You seemed to enjoy grabbin' me when I first
got here. 'Does this look like a boy to you, Daddy?'
Squeeze, squeeze." Nabiki quickly found her center, but
it took a little longer for the blush to recede and
Ranma noticed. "Well, well. Are you embarrassed? Or did
you really enjoy it?"

"Keep it up, Saotome. I haven't even BEGUN to dig into
my hoard of goodies on you, yet."

Ranma fidgeted nervously, the humor of the situation
rapidly receding. "Yeah, well, I'll have you know I...
Ara?"

The screen on Nabiki's computer blacked out, and a very
well done animated graphic began. What appeared to be a
large seed sprouted and grew into an immense tree.
Words faded into view below the tree, but it was
written in a script Nabiki had never seen before.
Before she could comment on the fact, the screen
blacked out again and a message in mixed hiragana and
katakana appeared.

*This terminal is not Yggdrasil direct-link compliant.
Do you wish to use an interface in the native language
of your terminal?*

Nabiki clicked the 'Yes' button.

"What's a Yggdrasil?" Ranma asked.

"Not sure, but it sounds familiar," Nabiki said.

Another screen came up.

*Yggdrasil Personnel Database*
*Please enter the name of the person for whom you are
requesting a file in the field below.*

Nabiki typed 'Saotome Ranko' in the blank text box and
hit ENTER.

*File not found. Please select one of the options
below.*

Nabiki clicked on 'New File'.

A screen with database input fields appeared.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Nabiki exclaimed.
Ranma's alternate name was already in the name field.
Nabiki selected the button next to female, but stopped
at the next blank field.

"'Area of Influence'?" she said.

Ranma shrugged. "Martial Arts, I guess."

Nabiki grinned wickedly as she considered a way to pay
Ranma back somewhat for her embarrassment of a few
minutes ago. She typed 'Sex' in the blank field.

"HEY!"

"Relax, Saotome. This has to be some kind of gag site.
I mean, I've never seen an official site look this
slick."

"Well..."

"Let's see... 'Category'. One, two, or three?"

"Uh... One!"

"'Class'?"

"One."

"'Limited' or 'Unlimited'?"

"'Unlimited', of course. Anything goes, you know."

Nabiki snorted. "First class all the way, ne?"

"Sure, and why not? With Pops around, things have
always been last class."

"Point. 'Transport Medium'."

"Uhhh... huh?" Ranma peered at the screen.

Nabiki hit the arrow on a drop-down box. "Hmmm. Water,
sunlight, reflective surfaces, electrical wiring...
televisions? Blah, blah, blah.... Well, perhaps we
should stay with a common theme for you." Nabiki
selected 'Water'.

Ranma squirmed, but let it pass.

"'Weapon'."

"None."

"Not an option. See?" The drop-down box didn't have a
listing for 'None'. "There! 'Katana.' HAHAHA! Talk
about a theme!"

Ranma scowled. "Having fun, Nabiki?"

"Un! ...'Age'."

"Seventeen."

"Duh!" Nabiki went on to fill in all the little
personal details of Ranma's identification. When those
fields had been completed only two remained. The first
was a drop-down box with the caption, 'Affiliated Deity
or Deities'. Nabiki hit the down arrow, and she and
Ranma scanned the selections.

"Who ARE these people?" Ranma asked.

"They're mythological gods and goddesses. Ah, so! I
remember, now. Yggdrasil was called the 'World Tree' or
something. It was part of Old Norse mythology."

"Old who?"

"You know, Vikings?"

"Oh... so which do I pick?"

"Errr... Let's look a bit." Nabiki continued to scroll
down. She eventually hit the Norse pantheon. One
selection was titled 'Norns', and it listed three
names, one of which was the Goddess of Love. "Here we
go." She selected the 'Norns', which appeared in the
field after the scroll list disappeared.

"Why them?"

"Well... I did list you as the Goddess of Sex, and Love
is close."

Ranma scratched her belly. "I don't know if we should
do this," she said worriedly.

"Relaaax. This HAS to be a gag site, especially with
all this mythology stuff. Ne?"

Ranma nodded. "One more blank."

The last field had the caption, 'Authorization'. Nabiki
humphed and studied the screen. On a hunch, she opened
FILE: PROPERTIES. An inset screen with mountains of
alphanumerical data came up. She slowly scrolled down,
peering intently at the lines. She stopped and
considered one line. She copied the line and canceled
the screen. She pasted the information into the last
field and hit ENTER.

"Probably won't work, but who knows?"

----------

In another part of the Greater Tokyo metropolitan area,
three young women and one young man sat at a table in
the dining area of a Shinto temple grounds house. Two
of the women had strange markings on their foreheads
and cheeks, and both were incredibly beautiful. The
third woman was cute and exuded a boundless energy
evident in the rapid-fire conversation she was having
with the young man, her brother. The young man, small
in build but reasonably handsome, waved his hands in
front of his sister's face.

"Megumi... Look, I... Really, they shouldn't have...
Megumi... Megumi... MORISATO MEGUMI!"

Megumi stopped chattering and looked at her brother.
"Ne, Kei-chan? What's wrong?"

Morisato Keiichi took a deep breath and puffed. "You
won't let me get a word in edgewise, that's what's
wrong."

Megumi reached over and tweaked his cheek as the other
women laughed. "My, my! Aren't we a little
temperamental today, brother?"

"Sis, it's just that I have my hands full doing
motorcycle drag racing for the club. I don't have the
time to take on funny cars. Do you understand?" Keiichi
pleaded.

Megumi snickered. "Well... I told Tamiya-sempai I would
try. He seems to think you can do no wrong on the
racetrack... any racetrack!"

Keiichi puffed up a little at the praise.

"Yeah," Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past, chimed in,
"unlucky in the bedroom, lucky on the racetrack."

"Oneesama!" scolded the third woman, Belldandy, Norn
Goddess of the Present. Belldandy and Keiichi were beet
red, while Urd and Megumi giggled. The good-natured
ribbing and conversation continued, unaware of anything
untoward.

----------

*Please indicate location of file subject.*

Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other and then back at
the computer. Hesitantly, Nabiki began typing, *Japan,
Tokyo, Nerima Ward, Furinkan-cho, Tendo Dojo*. The
computer digested this for a moment, and then an
architectural schematic of the Tendo compound came up.
Several blinking points were scattered throughout the
diagram.

*Please indicate by clicking which of the detected
individuals is file subject.*

"Creepy," Ranma muttered.

"No shit," Nabiki said. She moved the cursor over to
her room, took her mental bearings, and placed the
cursor over the blinking point representing Ranma. She
looked at the redhead.

"Well?"

"Heh, heh. Are you sure this is a gag site?" Nabiki
shook her head. Ranma fidgeted. "Maybe we should forget
this. This is really freakin' me out."

"I am inclined to agree. Now, how do I... oops." Anyone
familiar with mouse operation can tell you that even
the sleight weight of a finger is often enough to press
a button. Ranma and Nabiki stared at the monitor in
morbid fascination.

*File creation complete. Stand by for reality update.*

"Uh... Nabiki? What does that mean?"

Nabiki opened her mouth to speak but abruptly closed it
when the room began to shake. She now found something
different to say. "Earthquake!"

Ranma and Nabiki stumbled over the unsteady floor and
stood underneath the doorframe to ride it out. The
rumbling and shaking increased until they had to clap
their hands over their ears. The activity abruptly
ceased, however, and they slowly pulled their hands
down.

Ranma was the first to speak, "What...," but didn't
have the chance to finish as she was jerked off of her
feet, flying through the air to hang suspended over the
chair she had been sitting in earlier.

"Nabiki! Help... UNGH!!" Ranma arched her back as her
body suddenly strained and stretched and a brilliant
column of pure white light exploded into being around
the floating girl. Nabiki cried out and shielded her
eyes with her arm. The column crackled with energy for
a moment and then dimmed to a vibrant blue. Nabiki
lowered her arm to see Ranma slowly spinning within the
column, arms out at an angle with fingers splayed and
legs parted to shoulder width with toes pointing down.
Her head was back as if being pulled, her mouth was
open, and her sightless eyes stared up. Nabiki
discovered that she was, for perhaps the first time in
her life, truly terrified.

A flash of white washed over the column and a distinct
'CRACK' echoed in the very fabric of the room. Ranma's
clothes disintegrated and swirls of misty white
luminance swirled around her body. They slowly
coalesced, resolving into an intricate robe, earrings,
necklace, and fingerless gloves and toeless foot
coverings. The clothing floated around Ranma as her red
hair suddenly glowed and began to grow. It reached
almost to her feet before it stopped and began to
loosely braid itself into one long rope. A broad and
elaborately configured hair ribbon appeared and crowned
the back of her head.

When the last of the accoutrements were in place,
another wash of white light raced around the blue
column, but instead of disappearing, it entered the
column, spinning faster as it spiraled in to the
center. The light swirled and finally gathered into
three distinct bands, the middle one larger than the
others, that gradually moved to encircle Ranma's head.
The top band abruptly rushed in and touched just below
Ranma's left eye, forming a glowing triangle. The
bottom band of light repeated the effect for the right
eye. The remaining band swirled for a few seconds more,
and then rushed in to touch the center of her forehead,
forming an upright infinity symbol. Ranma jerked and
strained even harder at the last contact.

After about fifteen seconds Ranma slumped forward and
the lights vanished, although she stayed suspended,
spinning slowly. Nabiki thought that perhaps the event
was over, but as she was about to move towards Ranma, a
wind began to pick up in the room. Objects began to
rise off of surfaces and collect in a rotating mass
around the suspended girl, moving counter to her spin.
When everything loose had joined the mass, Ranma moaned
and straightened. Her head fell back once again, and a
single beam of intensely white light shot out of the
glowing symbol on her forehead, passing out of view
through the ceiling. Her clothes continued to float
around her as if she were under water. This display
lasted only a couple of seconds. The whirling objects
crashed to the ground, and Ranma slumped forward again.
She slowly drifted down until her toes were only a few
inches from the floor. One leg was slightly pulled up
such that hollow of one foot rested on the instep of
the other.

After several heartbeats of silence, Nabiki slowly rose
and peered around at the mess. Familiar paths were
traveled in her brain as she began to think about how
Ranma was going to pay for this. That stopped when she
realized Ranma hadn't actually made it to terra firma
but was hovering over the floor. Ranma's clothes still
floated around her. The material was of a shimmering
green with water-blue-within-beige trim.

Nabiki studied the floating woman carefully, noting and
storing details. She had always considered Ranma's girl
form to be cute, but something had changed. Ranma was
now almost supernaturally beautiful, like a haunting
song or a dream that one can't quite remember. Nabiki
had to fight an urge to kneel.

Some sixth sense kicked in and Nabiki realized she
wasn't alone. Turning around she saw the entire
household peering through the door at the levitating
martial artist.

----------

The tableau in the old temple house was interrupted by
a call from the bathroom. "Tadaima! I'm finally back!"
Skuld strode into the room. "Did ya miss me?"

Belldandy rose to hug her younger sister, and Urd just
barely managed to suppress a grin. "Hey, squirt. What
took you so long? Just a few bugs, ne?" Urd smirked.

Skuld rounded on her oldest sister. "Just a FEW bugs?!
I'll have you know I debugged 3,495 bugs, spread all
over the system. That's what took so long. Think you
could've done better, Miss SysAdmin?"

Urd casually waved her hand in the air. "Feh! I could'a
done it in week instead of two, squirt."

"Don't call me SQUIRT, you old hag!"

Urd rose from her seat. "WHAT did you call me?!"

"Sisters!!" Urd and Skuld both quieted at Belldandy's
word. She wasn't the oldest, but an irritated Belldandy
wasn't worth experiencing. "We're all back together
again, and I don't... Oh... What...?" The three
goddesses collapsed to the floor unconscious.

Keiichi rushed to Belldandy while Megumi checked out
Urd and Skuld. Keiichi patted Belldandy's face and her
eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?!" Keiichi asked.

"I... I don't know," Belldandy answered. The goddesses
were all awake now and rising wearily to their feet.
The phone abruptly rang in the hall.

"Guess who," Urd muttered.

Keiichi helped Belldandy to the phone.

"Morisato residence. Hello, Kami-sama. What just
happened? Yes.... Yes.... I see."

Keiichi stood patiently and the rest of the household
wandered over.

"Yes.... Oh, my! How did that happen?... I see."

To the listeners, Belldandy's always-pleasant demeanor
gave nothing away and was beginning to irritate the
oldest goddess.

"Yes, Kami-sama. I'll tell them. Thank you for calling.
I love you, too. Bye." Belldandy hung up the phone and
turned to the rest. "Well, sisters, we have some work
to do."

Urd's patience finally ran out. "Bell, what happened?!"

"It seems we just added a new goddess to the ranks."
Belldandy moved back to the living area and began to
pick up tea things. The rest followed her like puppies.

"Okaaay," Urd said, "that happens. But it usually
doesn't cause the family to go 'night-night'."

"Mmm. Yes, but the new addition went from mortal
straight to Class I, Category I, Unlimited."

The singing of crickets and a single bird call washed
through the room, and then two goddesses
simultaneously, "WHAT?!?!"

"Tha-tha-that's not possible!" Skuld exclaimed. "We
have safeguards built into the Wish System to prevent
it! I know, I put 'em there!" She wrung her hands.

"Super Genius strikes again," Urd monotoned.

"HEY! Not my fault, bag lady!" Skuld was turning purple
as Urd snickered.

"Now, now, sisters. This wasn't processed through the
Wish System. It came in from another direction."

Urd and Skuld scratched their heads. "The only
Operators that have that have that kind of clearance
are the three of us and Kami-sama," Urd mused. She
whirled on Skuld. "RRRRRAH!"

Skuld backpedaled, waving her hands in front of her
face. "I was here when it happened, right? Right?!
Besides, I didn't do anything but debug and repair the
damage they caused."

Urd appeared slightly mollified at that.

"I hope you haven't unpacked, yet, Skuld. Kami-sama
wants you back for the investigation," Belldandy called
from the kitchen.

Skuld was crestfallen. "Awww, Oneesama! I just got
home!"

"This is important, Skuld. You don't want to disappoint
Him, do you?"

"...nnnooooo..." Skuld pouted. She turned and slouched
back to the bathing room. "I guess I'll see ya when I
see ya."

Belldandy turned to Urd. "Sister, we have a new goddess
to track down." Urd nodded. "Have you ever been to the
Tendo Dojo?"

----------

Nobody seemed willing to enter the room, so it was left
to Nabiki to approach the levitating Ranma. With no
small amount of trepidation she slowly moved to within
a couple of feet.

"Ranma?" No response. Nabiki tentatively reached out a
hand. There seemed to be a slight resistance in the air
immediately surrounding Ranma, but it was negligible.
Just before touching her, Nabiki pulled her hand back a
little. Firming her resolve, she finally took hold of
Ranma's hand. A slight tingle passed into Nabiki's
fingers, and Ranma jerked awake with a gasp. Nabiki
tried to pull away, but Ranma had her hand in a
deathgrip.

Ranma blinked her eyes a few times and then focused on
Nabiki. Surges of desire washed through Ranma's body as
she gazed at the brown-haired girl. Some of that
feeling passed into Nabiki, and she could feel her body
responding. Ranma leaned over and cupped Nabiki's face
with her free hand, and Nabiki became even more aroused
at the touch. Ranma gazed into her eyes.

"Oh, Nabiki.... You are so beautiful." Ranma slowly
leaned forward, and Nabiki's legs began to tremble.
Ranma gently kissed her, and Nabiki's knees buckled,
but before she could hit the ground, Ranma gathered her
up in her arms and continued her attentions. The kiss
became hungry and desperate as mouths parted and
tongues twined. Ranma massaged Nabiki's body where she
held her.

Ranma and Nabiki's tryst lasted for all of about five
seconds, the strident clarion call of an unamused
fiancee breaking the spell.

"RANMA! You PERVERT!! What the HELL do you think you're
doing with my sister!" Tendo Akane, betrothed of the
new goddess, suddenly found herself in the stratosphere
of anger and well on her way to escape velocity.

Ranma jerked her head back and blink-blinked. Nabiki
lolled in her arms, completely lost to the world. Ranma
looked at Akane. Akane glared at Ranma and began to
stalk her way. Ranma looked down at Nabiki. Her eyes
snapped into focus as she realized just what had
occurred.

"WHAT am I DOING?!?! YAAAAAHHH!!!" Fortunately, Ranma
had drifted across the room to Nabiki's bed while she
was otherwise occupied, responding perhaps to new and
unknown instincts. Thus, Nabiki didn't come to harm as
Ranma unceremoniously dumped her out of her arms and
began to buzz around the upper half of the room.

"What's happening to me?! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

The Tendo household, non-Tendos included, just stared
as Ranma effortlessly defied the laws of gravity and
wailed about her current state of affairs. The only
exception was Akane. She brought out her No. 2
MacGregor mallet and attempted to swat Ranma to the
floor. Akane wasn't having an easy time of it, however.
Ranma seemed to instinctively zip away just as the
swing would have connected. Akane finally lost control
of the hammer on the downstroke, and in her attempt to
regain her grip, she unerringly guided the head
straight to her left kneecap. Akane howled, grabbing
the knee up and hopping around on her right foot. It
created a driving counter-rhythm to the lazy swish of
Ranma's robe rushing through the air.

Current events caught up to the remaining two women.
The shock of seeing Ranma flying through the air and
dressed in VERY feminine clothing was finally too much.
The last thought through Saotome Nodoka's mind before
she fainted was, <That's not very... man... ly...>, and
Kasumi just swooned (it seemed the proper thing to do
at the moment). The women fell against each other and
slid to the floor in a heap.

The fathers, not even bothering with the ladies, beat a
hasty path to the phone. Surprisingly, the Tendo
patriarch, Soun, reached the phone first. He dialed and
waited calmly.

"Hello? Dr. Tofu? Yes, could you come over right away?
There seems to be a problem with Ranma. The nature of
the problem? ......WAAAAAHHHHHHH! He's gonna fly away!
The schools will never be joined, now!
WA-WA-WAHAHAHAAAAAH!"

The Saotome patriarch, Genma, grabbed the phone away
and began to speak. "Tofu-sensei? Listen, Ranma is...
Growf, growf, garooowww, growf!" Soun's gushing tears
had triggered Genma's curse, and Panda-chan began
holding signs in front of the mouthpiece, occasionally
growfing for emphasis.

At the other end of the line, Tofu Ono rhythmically
beat his head against the top of his desk. <Two GROWN
men. Oh, brother...> He hung up, grabbed his black bag,
and left for the Tendo's.

____________________

END CHAPTER ONE

NEXT: Chapter Two: Your Problem's not so bad, after
all!

Ja