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Quicksilver�s Quill Presents:

Requiem for Ranma
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
standard disclaimers

Author�s Notes
I know where the Shakespeare quotes come from- Helena,
however, does not.
To Rose: For helping me get addicted to Ranma, you can
take the blame for this!!! (I swear, I�ll get even!) 
:-)

Helena�s Opening Remarks:
What follows if excerpts from my diary.   Most of
these entries are directly taken from it.   I got into
the habit of keeping a daily diary shortly after
moving to Nerima, and these excerpts relate directly
to the phenomena that if Ranma.  I DID have a life
outside of watching Ranma, but I�m sure none of you
are interested in that.

December 26, 1985
	I need a diary to vent, so here goes.
	I really should have learned to speak Japanese when I
was younger.   I mean, my father IS a business man
after all.   Japanese is rapidly becoming one of the
major languages of trade, but did silly me pay any
attention?   No, of course not.   I decided to learn
French.  Thought it would be more practical.   And now
here I am, stuck in Japan.
	Don�t get me wrong.   I speak Japanese well enough to
survive my high school, and I read and write better
then most of the locals.   It�s just that I feel that
I�m missing something.
	When I first moved to Nerima, I was expecting some
culture shock.   After all, I was an American who had
never left the country (the occasional trips to Canada
were, to my mind, unimportant).   I just wasn�t
expecting quite what I got.
	On my first day at Furinkan high-school, the first
person I ran into was Kuno Tatewaki, captain of the
Kendo team, president, and �Whirling Tornado� of
Furinkan (he would later change it numerous times
until �Blue Thunder� stuck.   His obsession with
natural phenomenon (stars, thunder, rushing water,
wind....) should be noted).    After learning my name
was Helena, he immediately began to call me, �Goddess,
nymph, divine, and rare; precious, celestial�.   I
recognized it as a translated quote from Shakespeare
(either a Midsummer Night�s Dream or The Taming of the
Shrew, I forget).   I smiled at him, wondering exactly
what his psychiatric condition was.
	Kuno-san abandoned me abruptly as screams began from
the entrance.  I spun around, watching as a girl beat
up over half the school�s male population.    She was
rather good at fighting, and I made a mental note to
stay on her good side.   
	Aside from the differences in our education system,
that was about as strange as things got, at least at
the beginning.  Every morning I watched the girl (whom
I learned was named Tendo Akane) beat up the guys.  It
was a regular spectacle.  Apparently, all those guys
were after her, and she didn�t like it.   I couldn�t
quite see why she had attracted all that male
attention.  She was pretty, but nothing really
special.  Must have been all that playing hard to get
she did.
	Not that I was jealous.  With my blonde hair and blue
eyes, I was something unique myself.    Almost
everyone in the school had the typical Japanese dark
coloring, so I really stood out.  I had to persuade a
few of the guys that everything they had heard about
�American Women� wasn�t true.    Those boys were
awfully grabby.   Seemed the only way to truly
discourage them was a few well-placed kicks.   Not
EVERYONE in Japan is a martial artist, and few of them
were expecting how vehement I was about protecting
myself.    Self-defense 101- play dirty.   A few of
them STILL haven�t had their voices return to normal
yet, now that I think of it.....
	One day things changed, and the world as Furinkan
High knew it came crashing down.    Things began as
usual, with Akane beating up the male population of
the school.   However, this time she had a new
audience; a handsome young man with his silky black
hair pulled back into a pigtail.   And so it began- 
Saotome Ranma had entered our lives.
	Ranma.   I get shudders just thinking of him.   Not
because he handsome- he is- but because of his martial
arts skills.   He also has a skill for attracting
trouble like angora attracts animal fur, and when you
throw his curse in on top of it.....
	I�m getting ahead of myself.   Ranma soon antagonized
Kuno (not surprising- it was inevitable) and gave him
a sound beating.    I was wondering how far it would
go when it started to rain lightly.    A panda grabbed
Ranma and dashed inside.
	A panda? you ask.    That�s what I thought.   A wild
animal, running on its hind legs..... helping a
teenager (though I wondered why it would want to
protect Kuno- he wasn�t worth protecting, what with
his annoying poetry and arrogant attitude).   But as I
was to learn, a walking panda was the most normal
thing there was in this town.
	I�m sure you�ve heard it all before.    About his
water thing, so I won�t go into it.    For some
reason, though, I seem to be the only person sane
enough to realize that this was just NOT NORMAL- and
NOT POSSIBLE.   Everyone sorta nods and smiles, saying
they pity Ranma for his curse.  A curse?    Yeah,
right.   But I still can�t deny the evidence of my own
eyes, and Ranma certainly turns into a very, um,
well-stacked red-head (I wonder about the red hair-
shouldn�t it be black?  I mean, if it was only a
�female� version of himself..... smack me for
wondering off topic.  My apologies.)
	Every time I see Ranma, I get the urge to call the
National Inquirer.   The money signs are very
tempting, but then again, I wouldn�t live to spend it.
  Ranma NEVER fights with females if he can avoid it,
but that wouldn�t stop him from seriously maiming me
if I decided to spread his secret globally.  And if he
didn�t, then Akane, Ukyou, or Shampoo would do it for
him.  Maybe even Nabiki, for cutting in on her profit.
	I STILL don�t see why all those fiancees keep
crawling out of the woodwork.   And to be sure,
Kodachi�s claim is..... questionable at best.   And
yet Ranma still tolerates her.   He is SUCH a
womanizer.   
	Kodachi sets a bad example for the rest  of the
female population of Nerima.    She has absolutely NO
RIGHT to claim Ranma as her beloved (everyone can see
he despises her).    One must always remember, though,
that insanity runs in the Kuno family.   Still, it
makes it rather tempting to think that any female
could get his attention by claiming to be his fiancee.
	Not that I would want to be- hell, who am I kidding? 
 I would LOVE to be..... Ranma has this quality about
him- charisma doesn�t even begin to describe it.  
Soemtimes at night I go to sleep, dreaming of his
beautiful eyes.    A hopeless crush- the safest kind.

January 2, 1986
	I was always a spectator of THE WONDERFUL  (AND
WACKY) WORLD OF RANMA.  Aside from placing a few bets
with Nabiki on Ranma�s fights (always on Ranma- my
Daddy didn�t raise a fool), I just watched.  
Sometimes I wanted to get closer, but like a moth, I
knew I would get scorched if I came too close to the
flame that was Ranma.  And I was right.
	It started out as a normal enough day.    I walked
into school ten minutes earlier, making sure I had
enough time to watch the daily Kuno-Ranma spat.   Sure
enough, three minutes before class was to begin, Ranma
bounced into the yard with amazing energy.  His
fiancee, Akane, followed closely behind.  Ranma headed
for the door, determined, as always to make it on time
for class- and who knows?   He might actually be able
to..... someday.  Today was not that promised day,
though.
	Kuno cornered Ranma, and Ranma, with the air of bored
impatience, slammed Kuno skyward.    I watched at
Kuno-san flew through the air, conveniently in the
direction of the nearest hospital.   I would hate to
be Kuno�s insurance provider.
	Ranma continued onwards, only to be met by Ryouga.  
Ryouga is as gorgeous as Ranma, but a lot denser.   If
it wasn�t for that temper of his, I would be tempted
to put up with his stupidity.   That and the fact he
gets lost looking for the bathroom.
	Anyway, Ryouga swung that umbrella of his (which I�ve
heard weighs a LOT) at Ranma, who avoided it.   Then
Ryouga whipped off one of those bandannas of his,
tossing it will a skilled flick of his wrist.   The
bandanna whirled with deadly speed at Ranma, who
diverted it by kicking it just right.
	Unfortunately, it just wasn�t my lucky day.   The
damn thing whipped towards my head, and before I knew
it, it hit.
	I woke up an hour later in the hospital.   To my
surprise, Ranma and Akane had decided to accompany me.
  I opened my eyes to the site of Akane berating her
fiancee to behave himself.    I looked at them both,
struck by what an attractive couple they made.  Akane
noticed I was awake.
	�I am so sorry, Helena-san,� she said. 
	�Not your fault,� I replied.  My accent was thick
enough for even me to hear it.   Getting hit in the
head wasn�t good for my thought processes.   I put my
hand to my forehead, wincing.
	�You�re gonna have a scar,� Ranma informed me.   It
was the first time he had ever addressed me directly,
but I was in too much pain to enjoy his attention.  
�I�m sorry about this,� he said.  His face was very
contrite.
	I tried to smile.  �How many stitches?� I asked
Akane.
	�Five,� she said.  �It�s right on your hairline, so
if you wear your hair right, it should cover it.�
	My pretend smile turned into a wince.   �Well, I was
meaning to get it restyled,� I said, trying to comfort
Ranma.  He looked upset.
	�My fights shouldn�t hurt an innocent bystander.  
Unfortunately, Ryouga got lost on his way here.  He
wanted to apologize as well.�  Ranma reached down and
picked up a pig I hadn�t noticed before.  The pig
nodded, almost as though he understood.  I frowned. 
The bandanna it was wearing looked very familiar..
almost like the one I had	been hit with.   
	�I�m sure he did,� I said softly.   �Everyone knows
of Ryouga�s... problem,� I said, staring at the pig.
	The pig seemed to flush, and I nodded at it.   I
looked at Akane, who seemed oblivious.  Did she not
suspect anything? I wondered.
	Ranma and Akane left, but I had to stay the night at
the hospital.   They wanted to make sure I hadn�t had
any serious head trauma.   

Jan 10, 1986

	Not much to report.  My head is still hurting
sometimes, but Akane is being almost friendly with me.
 She keeps telling me the strangest stories about
Ranma... maybe I should write them down.   If I didn�t
know Ranma, I�d be disinclined to believe her.   It
seems Ranma is an even bigger trouble magnet then I
thought he was.   The students at school don�t know
the half of it.
   
Jan 14, 1986

	I finally ran into Ryouga today.  He started to
stammer an apology, but was interrupted when Ukyou
swung her spatula into his head.   I watched the two,
trying to hide my amazement.   Even though Kounji
Ukyou was suppose to be Ranma�s fiancee (his kawaii
one at that), there was more chemistry between Ryouga
and Ukyou.   They reminded me of Ranma and Akane, to
tell the truth.
	She was muttering something about Ryouga managing to
get lost at the wrong time.  She grabbed him by his
ear and dragged him off.   I watched them go, making a
mental note to be extra careful for a while.   When
one of the fiancees began talking to Ranma�s enemies,
disaster was sure to ensue.

Jan 15, 1986

	Remember what I said about disaster?  I was right. 
Nabiki was selling the story this morning.
	Lately, I�ve spent more money for the news of Ranma�s
life then I have on manga.   But Ranma is certainly
more entertaining.
	
Jan 18, 1986

	Shampoo poisoned the school with some kind of
love-spice.   I swear, I�ve never seen so many people
necking at the same time.  Daisuke was embarrassed
about it afterward, but I�m not.   It seems he�s a lot
shyer then most people give him credit for.   But he�s
a good kisser.

Jan 23, 1986

	A Ryouga attack on Ranma... made 500 yen.  I should
have bet more.   The fight was closer then most people
thought it would be.   Right now Ryouga�s in trouble
with the school.   Seems his �Breaking Point� is
damaging the foundations of the buildings in the area.

Jan 29, 1986

	Yet another Ranma-related incident.  I�m starting to
get tired of it all.  While it�s interesting, it�d be
nice to have a few weeks of peace and quiet.

Feb 2, 1986

	Ranma�s dead.

Feb 4, 1986

	I know it�s been a while since I�ve written-OK, maybe
two days, but it feels like an eternity.  I simply
can�t believe it.  Ranma was.... Ranma.   I can�t
believe he�s dead.   And neither can anyone else.
	Akane�s gotten really quiet.   The fire that made her
so attractive to all of the men  seems to have burned
itself out.  I hate to admit it, but I wouldn�t be
surprised if she followed him into the grave.   As
much as they fought, they really loved each other. 
I�ve always laughed at the term �soul mates� but now
I�m not so sure.
	Ukyou seems to be taking it surprisingly well. She�s
a stronger person then the rest of his fiancees.  Her
eyes are terribly sad, but that�s to be expected.  
Surprisingly, Ryouga has moved in with her.  He�s
shaken up, badly.    
	Shampoo, Ranma�s other fiancee, left for China.  She
was upset, but not heartbroken.   The Nekohanten is
closed now.   Cologne and Mousse, the rest of what was
referred to as the �China Gang� left with her.     
	The rest of Furinkin seems to be wandering around in
a state of disbelief.  It wasn�t suppose to happen.  
Ranma was so graceful.   That stupid fence shouldn�t
have broken.

Feb 5, 1986

	Tomorrow�s the funeral.  I don�t want to go.   
	I�ve been reflecting on what happened.  It seems so
very wrong.
	The day began as any other.   Ranma fought Kuno, fell
asleep in class, and managed to annoy Akane into
malleting him through the ceiling.   Finally the
school day was over, and we all left.  No new villain
had appeared, so it was a quiet day.
	I wasn�t there for the rest of it.   I�ll tell you
what I heard from Nabiki (surprisingly, she didn�t
charge me).
	Ranma and Akane were on their way home, arguing.   It
started to rain, and of course Ranma�s curse was
triggered.  It seems so stupid now.   He was so busy
cursing fate that he failed to notice the fence was
collapsing under his weight.   He screamed, then fell
into the river, hitting his head on a rock.   Akane
jumped into the river after him, but the rumors that
she �swims like a hammer� aren�t for nothing.   She
quickly was sucked under.
	Surprisingly, it was Happosai who fished them both
out.    He�d been around the corner, planning an
ambush since he had realized Ranma would be in
girl-form due to the rain.   Akane was just a little
water logged; she�d nearly drowned often enough to
develop a remarkable ability to hold her breath.   But
Ranma... well, Ranma didn�t make it.
	They (whoever �they� are) said that he was dead even
before he hit the river.  The rock had done its work. 
Akane, though, seems to blame herself.   She was the
only one there.  What was funny is the fact that they
fished out a MALE Ranma; apparently, death is a cure
to a Jusenkyo curse. Too damned ironic.  In death,
Ranma had finally found the cure.  
	Ranma had excellent balance, and air-combat was his
specialty.  I keep wondering why he didn�t land on his
feet, like a cat.   But even the best make mistakes;
unfortunately, this one was fatal.
	It seems very wrong- I keep saying that, don�t I?  
Well, it�s the truth.   Ranma should have died in
glorious combat, or saving the world, not because of
some stupid fence.  Death is so pointless.

Feb 6, 1986
	
	They held the funeral today.  It was a Western one,
which surprised me.   But then again, Ranma and Akane
were to be married in a church.   The Tendos are
Christian.  Maybe that�s why.
	They had two pictures: one of Ranma in each form.  
It were those, more then anything, that made Kuno
finally realize that �Osage no Onna� and Ranma were
the same.   He sat in the back, quietly.   He was one
of the few.
	Rather then the dignified ceremony Ranma deserved, he
ended up with a ceremony like the his life head been-
chaotic.  Irony continued to follow Ranma, even after
his death.
	Kodachi started to wail as soon as she saw the
coffin.    I always thought her laugh was hideous, but
her demented shrieks are going to haunt my nightmares
for the rest of my life.    Surprisingly, it was
Happosai who stopped her.  He approached her from
behind, and hit a pressure point.   She collapsed
mid-wail, and Happosai arranged to have her removed. 
Amazingly, he didn�t even grope her once.   
	The entire congregation looked at him, shocked.   His
eyes were solemn.   �My heir is dead,� he said simply.
	Ranma�s father and mother entered, the last to
arrive.    They walked up to the coffin.  I�ve never
seen such a look on anyone�s face.  No one should have
to deal with the pain of loosing their child.
	The priest began the ceremony.  I simply stood there,
numb beyond belief.    �Ashes to ashes, and dust to
dust,� are the only words I can recall clearly.  It
seemed so wrong that they be applied to Ranma- Ranma,
who was the most vital person I had ever encountered. 
Ranma had had the luck of the Gods.  Ranma was the one
who was destined for great things.
	After the funeral, we all followed the Saotome family
out to the graveyard.  I watched as the pall bearers
(one of whom was Ryouga) slid his coffin into the
device that would lower it into the grave.
	One by one we approached, each of us laying a
personal item that would join his body.   Ukyou placed
her battle spatula, and Ryouga his umbrella.  Without
Ranma, the fighting in Nerima would certainly
decrease.   Kuno place roses, both black and red, on
top of the spatula.   He quietly explained he was
doing so for his sister as well as him.
	There were others.  Nabiki placed a small box labeled
�PHOTOS� while Kasumi laid her broom down.   Then
there was Hinako-sensei, Tsubasa, Mikado, Azusa,
Konatsu... almost everyone Ranma had ever encountered
since returning from China  I finally reached the
coffin, and placed a few forget-me-nots on them.   I
hadn�t known Ranma well, but I promised that I
wouldn�t forget him with that simple action.
	Finally only Akane was left.   First she put down the
bonbori, wooden duck, and staff that the China Gang
had left her for this purpose.   Then she gently put
down the hammer she had always hit Ranma with. 
Leaning over, she kissed the coffin, then vanished
into the crowd.  I think she left, because I didn�t
see her after that.
	Then the started to lower the coffin into place. 
Saotome Nodoka picked up a handful of dirt and flung
it into the hole once the coffin was in position.  
Then she turned and walked away, her back rigid.   She
never looked back.
	One by one the graveside was abandoned.  I waited
there, watching.  Finally only Ryouga and Ukyou stood
there.  They watched as the grave was filled in.  
Ryouga wrapped his arm around Ukyou�s shoulders.   �It
wasn�t suppose to be like this,� he said.
	�I know,� she whispered.   �Ranma was the special
one.�
	I watched them leave.   And then I made a decision.

Feb 2, 1996

	It�s the tenth anniversary since Ranma�s death.   By
now everyone knows of him.   And Ukyou and Ryouga,
Akane and Shampoo, Kodachi and her brother Tatewaki,
Mousse and Happosai.   Manga is very popular in
Japanese culture, so I arrange for a famous manga
artist to tell the story of these exceptional people. 
 Most people treat it as fiction, but I know the
truth.  Ranma was REAL, and we all loved him.   Even
his enemies.
	As I page through the last volume of the series, I
sigh.   There�s no point in me telling what happened
to the rest.  No one would believe me anyway.  It
seems that Ranma was the focal point of all the chaos,
and without him... things became almost normal.  But
only almost.
	�So from here on is OVERTIME... We�re off to School.�
 I look at the ending that had frustrated so many
Ranma 1/2 fans.   Smiling wistfully, I wish they could
see what had really happened.   This was a happy
ending- the one the real Ranma had deserved, but never
had.

THE END

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===
Quicksilver
Lady of the Labyrinth
Full time student and part-time writer
Finally finished pledging!
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/3342/
"You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing."