East Ohtori, Shiga Prefecture, Japan.
June XX, 199X.

Your Highness,

   What time am I writing this at? 1 o'clock. That's how long it's taken
to stop shaking enough for me to be even able to write this, never mind
getting to bed. That and I have classes in the morning. I know I'll be
like the walking dead in class tomorrow if I don't get to sleep like RIGHT
NOW, but the fact is if I don't write this to you it'll replay in my head
all night and I won't sleep at all, and I'll be even worse in the morning. 

   Shoot, where do I begin?

   Anthy. She's in bed right now, sleeping like a baby like nothing
happened at all. I envy her. 

   Yeah, I know. It usually begins with Anthy. You must be getting really
bored with me writing as much about what she does as about what I do, your
Highness. I'd probably wish you'd talk about something else too. I guess I
must sound like a girl in love, or something, like Wakaba gushing about
her "darling Utena."  (Don't laugh--it gets old after a while, at least if
you're me. I almost wish she _would_ get hitched with Saionji, just so
she'd cut that out stuff out. But you're not me. You're a prince, so I
guess being adored by girls is something you just had to learn to live
with, right?)

   Did I say a girl in love? Did I really? 

   No, wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. Where was I? 

   Right, Anthy. Never a dull moment with her around. You must have
thought you'd heard it all--how she'll be happy as a clam watching Micky's
metronome go back and forth for hours on end, or the Home Shopping Network
(talk about easily amused)--her shaved ice dinners--that darn curry--the
pencil-box full of snails--the mongoose--the inflatable octopus--and so on
and so on and so on. 

   You thought you'd heard it all? Well, I thought I'd seen it all. She
acts like a child, or like she comes from Mars. "Not of this world"
doesn't begin to describe her. 

   From Mars. That reminds me--now I know where to begin. I'd actually
been wondering for a while about her, about her folks, where she comes
from. Near the end of lunch, today, just before lit. class, don't know why
but I figured I'd ask. So I go and ask her, just to make conversation,
"Say, Anthy, just out of curiosity-- your folks from around here?" Because
she always looked kind of exotic--I've told you that, right.  Himemiya's a
japanese name, but maybe her mother was foreign? 

   Okay, okay, not like Anthy'll ever give you a straight answer--but I
had to try. 

   She just kind of smiled nervously, and didn't say anything--that I
expected, but just how nervous she was I didn't, She looked like, "Crap!
I've been found out!" or some darn thing. I was going to ask if I'd said
something wrong, but then there was a message over the intercom asking
will Anthy Himemiya come to the principal's office? 

   Anthy got right up. Guess she was glad to be off the hook. I heard
people muttering. Why's Anthy going to the office? Not like she gets in
trouble. She's really shy and quiet. Keeps to herself mostly. Yeah, like
every axe murderer you ever read about! Giggles. Kind of ticked me off,
but Anthy mustn't have heard. Or just didn't care; not like she doesn't
get it all the time. 

   I had to ask what she thought the principal wanted. 

   "I don't know, Miss Utena," she answered. "But whatever it is I suppose
it must be important." 

   And she picks up Chuchu (he generally sleeps in her desk during the
day) and just leaves without a word.  Me I just kind of watched her leave,
and must have spaced out, I guess, because next thing I knew Wakaba was
shaking me and asking if I thought she had failed the mythology test we'd
had to take last week (we got it back today). 

   So I'm like, "Uh, yeah. I wouldn't worry about it. Say, do you know if
Anthy's mom is foreign, Wakaba?" 

   And she goes, "Anthy's mom is foreign? Hm..." and she makes a big show
of looking thoughtful. Maybe she was being silly because my question was
weird, or something. Guess she never thought about it. Finally she says,
"I dunno. Maybe she's from Africa or something." 

   "Africa?" 

   "Yeah. Isn't she, like, black?" 

   "Black? She's not black!" 

   "Well, she's got the right complexion..." 

   "It's not _that_ dark! I think..." I mean, she didn't look like the
black people I'd seen on TV. Now I think of it, she doesn't look much like
she comes from anywhere. 

   So Wakaba gets up and says, "Maybe the Three Stooges know!" She meant
Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka.  They were in their little corner of the
class, talking about either Gundam or Nanami Kiryu. Not like I paid
attention to what they were talking about, but that's all they seem to
ever talk about. Creepy as heck. That and they could be triplets. 

   So she goes to the Three Stooges and asks, "Say, you guys, do you know
where Anthy's folks are from?" 

   They gave her a kind of weird look. Guess they didn't know either. They
had lots of ideas about where she might be from, mind you. 

   "Maybe she's Indian, or something," said Tanaka. "Don't Indian girls
have those dots in the middle of their heads?" 

   "I think those are stuck on, guys," I said. I was beginning to be sorry
I asked. 

   "Hey, that's it! Maybe she's the reincarnation of the Buddha!" 

   "Oh yeah, right!" Wakaba said. 

   "Don't be a dumbass," said Suzuki all of a sudden, and boy did he look
intense. "Anthy's not an Indian name." 

   "Sure sounds like it," Tanaka said.

   "Yeah," said Yamada, who sounded a little puzzled. "What sort of a name
is Anthy anyway? Maybe she's like an Arab or something..." 

   "It's not 'Anthy,' it's 'Anthe'e.' It's French," Suzuki said, standing
up and folding his arms, really dramatically--he was really getting into
this, you could tell. "But ultimately, it comes from the Greek 'Anthea.'
So you're not far of the mark, Yamada. She may be from the Levant, but
from Greece, not Arabia or Palestine. In other words..." 

   Dramatic pause. You could almost hear a drumroll in the background. It
was that corny. 

   "She is in fact Anthea, Goddess of Roses, come to visit us from Mount
Olympus!" Amazing how funny the guys seemed to think it was. Even Wakaba
giggled. Maybe it was the delivery, or something. Me I was just like,
"Hey, you guys, can we stop?" 

   They didn't of course. Too late for that. They were on a roll, now.
Like sharks in a feeding frenzy. Jerks. 

   "Guess who got a hundred on the test! You literary dog you!" said
Yamada. Suzuki made a show of being embarrassed, saying "aw, shucks," hand
behind his head and stuff. 

   "I dunno. I preferred her as the Buddha," said Tanaka. 

   "I have a compromise, men," said Yamada. "I say she's Kaguya-hime, the
Princess of the Gods of the Moon!" More laughter. 

   Then Eiko Ikuhara started. Damn her. 

   "Wait! I've got it! I've thought up the subject of my new play. Ohtori
Monogatari, the Tale of the Rose-Cutter! The tragic tale of the
moon-child found in a rose-bush, and who was courted by all the fair
princes of the land!" 

   "Will you cut it out, already!" I said. A bit too loudly, I guess. It
didn't work. 

   "Oh, don't be like that, Utena!" she says. "You can be the emperor!" 

   "Just so you know, I am not going to be the prince who had a bird poop
in his hand!" Biiko Saito said that. She was laughing too. 

   That did it. I don't know why, but right there I just lost it and
yelled at her to shut up and slapped her.  Hard. So hard she almost fell
out of her chair. 

   And she looks at me like she's about to cry. Wakaba looked a little
scared, though I didn't pay it any mind then. Everyone else just stared,
frozen like they were statues; I guess they were scared too. 

   "What was that for?" she said finally. "We were just teasing, you
know..." 

   "Don't. You. Talk. About. ANTHY like that!" I said, just like that. I
was really pissed by now, and I must have looked it, because Wakaba seemed
to be shrinking in her chair. 

   "Miss Tenjo, I've tried to make you correct your disruptive behavior in
the past, and failed, so this time I'm asking you nicely. Will you
_please_ keep your outbursts for outside class periods?" 

   I was a bit confused for a moment there. Wakaba nervously pointed to
the lit. teacher--that was her-- who'd just come in. Turned out everyone'd
got so carried away nobody'd even noticed the bell ring. Don't know what
that means. Maybe it meant that really it wasn't just me that wondered a
lot about Anthy. Or maybe they were just having too much fun. Either way,
in the end I never got a straight answer. 

   "Now that's out of the way, playtime's over. Stand up! Bow! Sit! I have
your tests, and as usual they're a disgrace!" 

   Could have been worse. At least she didn't see me hit Biiko, so that
was good. 

   Anthy came back in just in time to be marked present. We got the tests
back. I could tell by the way she pouted that she'd failed even before she
told me. I got a 90! (Yes!) Don't know what Anthy got. She's not that good at
school, but tests don't seem to phase her at all. She'll just take the
paper and put it in her bag without even looking at the grade sometimes,
so I guess even she doesn't know, if she even cares. You'd think with
Micky helping her so much she would care. I mean, I told you she seems to
like him. Making people you're supposed to like work for no reason isn't
cool, right? 

   So at the end of the class the tecaher leaves and the moment she's out
the door Wakaba jumps on me and starts to wail, and she's like "Waaah! I
flunked! I'll never pass this class! My life is OVER!" 

   I'm like, "Hey, hey, you don't have to cry about it, you know..." 

   And she's blubbering and stuff and says, "I'm sorry, Utena, I just need
a shoulder to cry on right now..." 

   Then she looks up and looks all happy. "I know! You wanna come over to
my dorm for dinner? Huh huh huh?" Just like that. And I'm like, "Well, I,
uh..." Not like I didn't want to, just I was a bit overwhelmed. I'm like
that a lot around Wakaba. 

   And then she says, "Come on! You must be pretty sick of the Moon
Princess's shaved ice by now, right?  You must be _starving!_" 

   "Wakaba! That was really rude, calling her that right in front of her!"
I said, because Anthy sits right beside me (Wakaba's a few rows in front).
"You think she doesn't have feelings?" 

   Not to mention it isn't true. Anthy can't cook much in the way of
dinner food, but her breakfasts rule She ought to be running a cafe or
something. 

   "It was?" Wakaba said, blinking and looking all confused. Like she
didn't know what she'd said! I couldn't believe she was even still
thinking about that! "Oh, I'm sorry, Anthy, I didn't mean..." 

   "Miss Utena," Anthy said, "if you don't mind, I have to be somewhere
this evening myself. Is it all right?" 

   And I'm like, "Uh, I guess it is...well, Wakaba, guess I'm coming over
after all. No point staying home..." 

   Of course Wakaba jumped on me again. "Hurray!" 

   Yes, Your Highness, this has a point. It meant more later on. First
though I need a cup of tea. 

---

   Well, what do you know? Anthy left some in the pot. She thinks of
everything. 

   You know, maybe that means she thought I'd be shaken up tonight. But
I'm getting ahead of myself. 

   2 o''cloc. already. Crap.

   Where was I? Right. Wakaba. 

   So after school lets out I go over to Wakaba's. Real food, too, not
cafeteria food. Wakaba's dorm is fairly new, and not only do they have
air-conditioning (lucky them, it has been _hot_ this summer), but they
also have a small kitchen, so people who have allergies, or foreign
students who aren't used to the food--yeah, we've got a couple, mostly
from Europe, a few Americans, coming to study Japanese--can cook their
own.  Nobody likes the dorm food much, though, so everybody ends up using
it. 

   Not that it matters, but it turned out Wakaba made some sushi. Really
nice, too. She put her heart and soul into it. Me I sat and did some of my
homework while she did that--not all of it of course, 'cause tonight was a
Friday, and not all our classes meet on Saturday, just the morning ones,
and Wakaba didn't take _that_ long at the sushi--and just watch. She made
me just watch. I offered to help, but she wouldn't have it. 

   So she finishes the sushi and we go up to the room and go inside. 

   Biiko Saito was there. Now that was normal enough by itself--Biiko's
Wakaba's roomie this year. Did I tell you that? (Her idea, not Wakaba's.
She was rooming with Eiko, but Eiko's a real slob and a pain to live with
too. She--Biiko that is--got assigned to Wakaba when I was moved out at
the last minute when school started.) But we open the door and there she
is and Wakaba's like, "Oh, Biiko, hi, didn't you go to theater club yet?" 

   And Biiko's like, "Well..." and then she sees it's _me_, and she says
really weird-like, "Truth is, I was just leaving now, um, hi, Utena, sorry
about today, tell Anthy I'm sorry too, bye," like that, and she almost
runs out of the room. I guess I must have been staring after her, because
Wakaba dragged me into the room, going, "Are you coming in or not?" 

   So I go in, and we split the sushi, and she makes me some tea to wash
it down with. Green tea, not the black tea Anthy always serves. Talk about
traditionally Japanese--as unlike Anthy as you can get, I thought
afterwards. Was that intentional, I'm wondering now? I don't know, I
didn't ask. I didn't think of it then, even. Maybe I'm paranoid, is all. 

   We split the sushi, and she puts on the TV and makes me watch a show
called _His Secret Her Secret_.  High school comedy. Animated. Girl meets
boy, girl's a real freak, guy has deep dark secrets, it's love. That sort
of thing. Anyway, that doesn't matter. Point is, the show's over and the
credits roll, and it says "Director: Hideaki Anno" and Wakaba's like,
"That's really _weird_, huh?" 

   And I'm like, "What is?" 

   And she's like, "That guy directed stuff like _Neon Genesis
Evangelion,_ and now he's doing sweet stuff like _His 'n Hers_. Isn't that
_weird_?" 

   "I guess. I never watched _Eva_." Which was true. All I knew about it
was that it was about giant robots and the ending sucked, and I only knew
the last thing because the Three Stooges were bitching about it the next
day. 

   "Oh you have no idea. It was so _cool_! And there are people in it who
are _just_ like the people at school! I'm like, I _know_ these people!"
she says. 

   And I'm like, "Uh-huh..." 

   "Like Asuka. She's one of the pilots. She is _so_ like Nanami Kiryu
it's not even _funny_! I mean, she isn't white or anything like Asuka--
Nanami I mean--but the way she thinks she's all that, they're _exactly_
the same. Oh! Oh! Even better. Rei Ayanami. She's another pilot. _Really_
creepy. It turns out she's a clone or something who was created to
engineer the end of the world, but that doesn't matter. She never talks
and she looks really weird too. Freaks everyone out, especially Asuka. She
is _so_ like--" 

   "Anthy?" I asked.

   "Yeah! _Exactly_ like her. You took the words right out of my mouth!"
She giggled. "Hey," she suddenly said in a conspiratorial tone, "you know
the forest on campus that nobody's allowed in? I was thinking, what if
there's a secret lab there where, like, they make clones of Anthy?
Wouldn't that be--" 

   My chopsticks snapped in my hand. She took that as a hint. 

   "Oops." She covered her mouth, like she was trying to stuff the words
back inside. 

   I tried to restrain myself. I was thinking, I will not lose my temper.
I will not slap Wakaba. I will not punch her lights out. I will not... 

   I managed it. Couldn't unclench my fist, though. 

   So I said, "Wakaba. Tell me something. What the hell is this? National
Pick on Anthy Week?" 

   "I'm sorry..." 

   That did it. 

   "You're sorry? You're SORRY!?" That was me gone. I didn't have to slap
her--the tone was enough to make her recoil. "Sorry you opened your big
mouth, you mean!--Now you listen and you listen good, God knows I'm used
to seeing people make fun of Anthy, God knows I'm used to seeing them
trying to make her life miserable, I don't know why, but where the hell
_you_ and you call yourself my friend mind you where _you_ get off saying
things like that to me about her to my _face_--" 

   "They went easy on you." She said that through her hands, which she was
using to hide her face. (From slaps? From blows?)

   "What?" 

   "You should hear them when you're not there..." 

   "No, I don't..." 

   She came out from behind her shield. "Biiko told me not to tell you
this, but I guess I'd better now. You know what Eiko said about a play
about you and Anthy? She's for real." 

   "_Really._" 

   "Yes." Her voice was quavering a bit. "I don't know about the Princess
Moonlight thing, but Biiko said Eiko was going to write one of those
shadow-plays for the school festival about, and I swear she said this,
'Utena's prince.' This was a few days ago. She said she tried to talk Eiko
out of it, because she thought it was real mean, but you might as well
talk to a brick wall than tell Eiko anything, she said, and apparently
Eiko said, 'Everybody else will laugh, so who cares?'" 

   Did I ever tell you about Eiko's shadow plays? I don't think I did, so
I will now. Apparently she's a real genius. She's been putting on plays
with shadow puppets--writing them and directing them--since she was eight,
or so I heard. Her mom used to be a actor, I think. Anyway, she's been in
charge of the theater club here for two years--apparently the school,
including the principal, begged her to enroll. Every term or so she writes
a play--actually more like sketches--about goings-on around the school and
the city of East Ohtori and the club puts it on using her puppets. People
love it--matter of fact the kids at the school paper hate it because she
can say stuff that they can't, and then people go, "I can't wait for Eiko
to give us the real deal." She changes things around so the teachers won't
catch on, of course. Which is bad, because she makes fun of them, but also
students--and sometimes she's really nasty about it too. When people make
fools of themselves around here, they just got to hope and pray Eiko
doesn't get wind of it, because you might end up in the next performance. 

   I knew Eiko doesn't care if she hurts people's feeling. Everyone does.
She even boasts about it. Probably thinks it's her duty to express
herself, or something, though I sometimes think she just likes making fun
of people who aren't artists or smart like her. Outside her little theater
club clique nobody really likes her, even though they love the plays,
because it's an excuse to twist the knife in public. They're kind of
afraid of her, really. I'm so glad Micky's not like that. He's smart, but
he's really nice. 

   Man, I wrote a lot about that, didn't I? 

   Point is, I was not looking forward to Eiko's next play. 

   "Oh yeah? Well, she won't be laughing when I--" 

   And suddenly it was Wakaba yelling at me. 

   "Don't you get it at _all_? People _laugh_ at you and Anthy behind your
back! Oh I know. You got used to your adoring fans saying you were cool,
right? Well, they don't think so any more. Now you just freak them out, so
they make fun of you, and they laugh at _me_ because I hang out with you,
even though I practically had to _drag_ you away from Anthy to get you to
come here. But you don't care about that at all as long as they Anthy's
happy, right?" 

   "Um...are we talking about the same girls who all but demand to be the
mother of my children whenever I pass by?" Call me naive if you want,
but... 

   "_Especially_ them. And the thing is, you actually buy it, waving and
going"--and Wakaba put on a really deep voice here--it was all I could do
not to laugh in spite of myself--"'Well, hello there, my dears!' like a
complete _dork_! You really think they mean it? No. That's not true. They
used to mean it, anyway. They don't any more. Now the moment you're out of
earshot they laugh their heads off because you're such a freak! Are you
that dumb you can't figure that out?" 

   "Now look, Wakaba, aren't you exagger--" 

   "No, you look! You think people make fun of Anthy just 'cause she's
there? They do it for a reason!" 

   My cue to go back on the offensive. "Oh. Right. I see. I guess you
think that makes it all right, then, huh, is that it?" 

   "No! No! Look, I'm sorry about what I said, really, that was real
uncalled for, but that's not the point--" 

   "And what is the point?" 

   "The point is people pick on Anthy and make fun of her because she
really _scares_ them! You don't think she's _scary_?" 

   "No, I don't think she's scary, Wakaba," I said, as precisely as I
could, "I happen to think she's a very nice and very sweet girl. She's a
little shy, that's _all_. She acts a little weird, sure, but that's
because she doesn't have any friends. I'm trying to help her make friends
and stuff, and I admit it'll take a lot of work, but..." 

   "No. She has no friends because she's--no, she's not weird. I'm a girl
and I watch _Eva,_ I'm weird.  You're weird, a good kind of weird, or you
used to be. She's _scary_. I mean, have you ever seen the way she looks at
people?" 

   "No, even though I've lived with her all term. What the hell is that
supposed to mean? Okay, she zones out now and again, or seems to, but--" 

   "No, Utena, she does not 'zone out.' She _looks_ at you really really
detached like, like you were one of her flowers or a bug or something--
Utena, haven't you ever noticed how she _talks_ to people? It's like she's
a princess and you're a servant--no, that's not it--like to a kid--yeah!--
like to a child or an _animal_ or something like that, like she was some
sorta superior being! She talks to _you_ like you were that darn monkey of
hers--is she even allowed have that thing as a pet?--and you don't even
seem to notice! Oh yeah.  Tell me. Is it true she keeps a mongoose in her
desk drawer like I heard?" 

   "Yeah. I told her not to, but she wouldn't listen. She does whatever the
heck she wants. It's true, I don't 
know what she's thinking sometimes. Your point?"

   "I mean, where the heck does it go to the bathroom?"

   "Ha ha. You think that's funny too?"

   "No! I think that's creepy! And really cruel too! Nice! She's not nice
at all! You know what, Utena? I think she's just using you to defend her
from Nanami and Saionji and them, like a hired thug or guard dog
or--or--or something! I don't think she cares about you at all! You told
me _yourself_ she called Chuchu 'her friend.' I'm thinking, what does that
mean? That to her Utena's no better than _Chuchu_, for God's sake?" 

   Yes, I _had_ just about had it. Probably because what made too much sense. 

   I stood up and had a good long stretch, as dramatically as possible. 

   "Bullshit," I said. "I don't need this. I'm leaving. Wakaba, get help.
See you at class tomorrow, or not.  Thanks for the food." 

   And I started for the door. Only I never got there, at least not then,
because Wakaba jumped up, somehow got around me and actually *threw*
herself in front of the door. I guess all that practice jumping on me paid
off. 

   "No!" she said. There were tears in her eyes. "You're not going back to
her! I don't know what she's doing to you, but I'm not letting you go back
there!" 

   "Wakaba. She's not doing anything to me. Now stop being a baby and let
me out. You can't keep me here all night you know. Look," I had to ask,
"are you jealous of her or something? Is that it? Because Saionji likes
her instead of you, and now I'm her friend? Huh?" 

   "No!--Yes!--No!--I don't know! I--Utena, I'm worried *sick* about you,
do you know that? You're like--"  then the deep voice again--"'I, Prince
Utena, will save Princess Anthy!' I don't see as you're changing her at
all! I think she's changing _you_, and it's freaking me out!" 

   "How have I changed that freaks you out? I don't--" 

   "I mean--I mean--we used to be together all the time, Utena..." She
didn't seem angry any more. Just sad.  "You, me, our friends, we did
everything together. Now it's Anthy, Anthy, Anthy all the time. I had to
practically drag you up here by your _hair_! It's always Anthy and those
jerks on the student council who are always hanging around her. Saionji.
Toga Kiryu. Micky and those. What's so great about them anyway?  I mean I
_know_ Toga Kiryu ticks you off." 

   "What, now you don't like Micky either?" 

   "No! No! He's nice. Yeah, you're right, he's nice. But...it's
like...you're different, Utena. You sacred me today. You never used to
talk to me like this. Anyone says a word about Anthy and you freak like
they insulted your mother or your religion or...wait. I've got it. Utena,
has Anthy got you mixed up in some sort of cult?" 

   A cult. The cult of the Rose Goddess. I admit I'd never thought of the
duels that way. Everything about it was like out of a myth. Humans
battling for and praying for the favors of spernatural beings, like all
that mythology we'd been reading. The power of Dios slept in Anthy. Did
that make her a priestess of some sort, or a... 

   I just laughed. "A cult? Wakaba, now you really are being paranoid. Let
me out." 

   She folded her arms in her seat in front of the door, stuck her nose in
the air. "Changes in behavior, adoption of a radically different set of
friends. Sure signs of a victim of a cult. Or drug abuse. Mom said so. 
She saw it on TV and she warned me when I came here not to get involved in
cults and no way am I going to let you!" For just a moment she was Wakaba
again. 

   "Oh, right. Can you imagine me or Saionji or Micky shaving our heads
and standing on Ohkawa Avenue chanting and handing out pamphlets saying
'Anthy saves' to passers-by?" 

   She got angry again. "I'm serious!" 

   "Let me through, Wakaba." 

   "Don't you see? Your whole life seems to revolves around her. Like
you're obsessed, or something. And the more obsessed you get the meaner
you get. It's like--you never used to slap people like that. Why do you
think Biiko ran out of the room? She was _frightened_, dammit!" 

   "Don't swear, Wakaba, it doesn't suit you." 

   "It's like--it's not _you_ any more, it's like you're a whole different
person, or there's a different mind in your body, like _Invasion of the
Body Snatchers_. You know what? If it turned out that Anthy really was
from the moon and she was controlling your mind and using you to prepare
to invade the earth I'd just say I saw it coming long ago!" 

   "It is to laugh. Get out of my way, Wakaba," I said, with a coldness
that once I heard it in my ears scared even me. 

   But I didn't let it bother me. Or something in me didn't want to be
bothered. I moved towards her. 

   But she just kept going. Myabe she was afraid if she stopped she'd
never get another chance to say everything. Mind you I could have just
pushed her out of the way--she's much lighter than I am--but I couldn't
bring myself to do it. Maybe because deep down I knew she had a point?
Maybe. 

   "Thing is, It's not just you. It's everybody in that clique she hangs
around, or hangs around her, more like.  Lately you've--been getting that
look in your eyes that Saionji has, or even Micky. Yeah,. I know, he's
really nice, but--when he challenged you to that duel the other day. I
knew it was about Anthy, somehow, because he had that look in his eyes
that Saionji had..." 

   That wasn't so paranoid as naive I thought. So naive I couldn't stay
too mad. Just as well really. I took a deep breath and I said something
like this: 

   "Look, Wakaba, some things you need to know. Guess I should have told
you before. First, I wish it weren't so, but the fact is if anything
Anthy's fixated on _me._" I told her as much of the truth as I thought was
relevant and I thought she'd believe. "She was dating Saionji and he was
treating her like crap, you remember, right? So when I went and read him
the riot act about pinning your letter up on the bulletin board--" She
nodded. "--It turned out he wouldn't give me the time of day unless I
challenged him to a duel.  I won, somehow, and I guess she was so
impressed that she got the courage to dump him. Thing is, now she seems to
think it's her duty to be some sort of servant to me or something. Or she
says it is. You've heard how she calls me 'Miss Utena,' right?" 

   Wakaba nodded again. She was a little calmer now. A very little. 

   So I went on. "I don't know how she did it, but she even managed to
talk the school into changing our dorm assignments so we'd be living
together. She seems to know Toga pretty well, maybe he put a word in their
ear. Or had Julie Arisugawa scare them a little." 

   I chuckled. Wakaba didn't. So it wasn't funny, fine, but I had to try. 

   "I'm as nice about it as I can be, but--I guess you're right--it does
freak me out a little, too. I'm always telling her not to call me 'miss,'
but she does anyway. You have no idea how I've gotten on her case about
that, or trying to make friends. She won't go out or talk to people unless
I tell her it's okay. I really do think it's an act she puts on, because
she does all this stuff even when I tell her not to. I dn't know why she
does all that, and she's not telling. I don't know--maybe she _is_ screwed
up somehow. I'm trying to get her to be normal, but it's going to take a
lot of work. Does that make any sense?" 

   Wakaba stood up. 

   "What about Micky?" 

   "Micky has a crush on Anthy. That's all. She reminds him of his sister,
or something, or so he says. He picked a fight with me to impress Anthy.
It didn't work. End of story."