"FINE THEN, AKANE!! HIROSHI WILL BE MY DATE THEN!!" Ranma shouted.
His heart stopped.
His breath stopped.
He stared at her, as if she had grown wings and fangs. He could feel the eyes on him as Ranma laughed maniacally. *Hoh boy....* He quoted Sam Beckett, from that show on television late night.
Could his timing have been any worse??? He had come home to talk to his sister, only to find her not there and the house locked up.... so he had decided to try the Tendo Household.... where Memeko stopped by on occasion to talk to Kasumi.
He looked around at the surrounding people.... Nabiki looking at him with a murderous glare.... as if accusing him of Ranma's outburst. *Am I completely innocent?* He wondered. His sister's words about Ranma coming back to him suddenly.
Memeko looked at Ranma, quite possibly hurt that Ranma had made the statement without knowing how much it would mean to her Brother. How much it would mean to him.
*Hiroshi.... welcome to Nerima.* He chided himself.
"You can't be serious, Ranma... that's the dumbest idea you've ever come up with!!!" Akane said as she noticed Ranma's possibly Mad laughter. *How could he possibly think of going to the Prom with another guy?? That would be just plain silly.*
"No, Stupid Akane!!! It's the best one I've ever had!!!" She said, slowly relaxing from her adrenaline high. She wanted to slap herself, for thinking so two dimensionally.... for discounting an obvious out, as Hiroshi would put it. Why COULDN'T she go as a woman??? Besides, it would be with Hiroshi. Some other guy might make her too nervous to concentrate.
"Uhhhh.... I missed something, didn't I, Oneechan?" Hiroshi inquired, his face quite red from Ranma's statement and his heart thumping madly in his chest.
Memeko looked up at Hiroshi, a slight glimmer in her eyes. Hiroshi blinked, confused at the strong emotion of sadness in his sister's gaze.
"Nah, Hiroshi! I need a date, and you're jus' the guy!!" Ranma said, walking over and taking his arms, giggling girlishly.
Ryouga crossed his arms, closing his eyes. "Hmph.... now I've seen everything, Ranma's lost his marbles, Akane."
Ryouga had seen Ranma do some odd things, once or twice Ranma had even kissed HIM as an act to torment him, But this took the cake for insane ideas.
Ranma scowled, hugging Hiroshi's arm. "I have not, Ryouga! I'm jus' doing what I hafta to get into that contest!! If I can't go with any of my fiancee's, then I've gotta go with SOMEONE, and I was jus' thinkin' about goin' as a guy.... discounting a very obvious choice." Hiroshi was as tense as a board, which Ranma noted and puzzled at.
Nodoka blinked in shock. Something very odd was going on, and her mind was screaming at her again.... telling her to pull the Katana... but why??? It didn't make sense.... this was her son!! She had to have faith in his choices.
"Oh my...." Kasumi said quietly from behind Hiroshi and Ranma.... she had noted before Ranma's almost giddy attitude lately around Hiroshi.... and the soft smile whenever his name was mentioned. She suddenly remembered why she was so worried about Ranma.... and her brow creased slightly. Should she talk to the red headed Saotome child??? Or was it only her imagination?
Akane sighed. "While that was very funny, Ranma, I think we've all had a good laugh at your joke." She shook her head. *Honestly, to think he thought that was funny. Ranma no Baka....*
Ranma's blue eyes danced as she gritted her teeth, glaring at Akane. "I was very serious, Akane..... I'm goin' with Hiroshi. He's my friend, and he'll be just as good as anyone else at that Martial Arts Dance Contest.... you remember, I'm sure. He's the ONLY guy I would ever consider goin' with....." Ranma said with finality.
Akane glared at Ranma and Hiroshi.... something edging it's way into her mind.... *Why is she standing so close to him??* She wondered, looking at how affectionately Ranma clung to Hiroshi's arm.... She gritted her teeth. *NO..... Ranma isn't that way.... he... he could never..... never....*
Akane stood up, looking slightly shocked, and ran upstairs.
"Akane!!" Ryouga called out, stretching a hand towards the departing woman. He growled, turning back to Ranma and rising from his seat. "Don't you think your little joke has gone far enough, Ranma???"
Ranma stared back at him in unwavering consternation. "Ryouga. I am going to the Prom with Hiroshi, and I'm gonna win that Contest." She looked up at Hiroshi, who had a slightly shocked look to his face.
*Why is she doing this?* Hiroshi wondered. His heart sounded like a fury of small explosions in his head, wanting to leap out of his mouth if he opened it. He had wished, and hoped that Ranma could return his feelings.... but this wasn't about feelings, this was about Ranma winning.
Why did it have to be that??? Why was it the only time he could actually be with Ranma ALONE in public was when she needed his help for a fight??? He so longed to hold her, to tell her how he felt.... if only she would accept that truth when he said it, when he knew she would never do such a thing.
Hiroshi sighed sadly. *At least I could be happy..... I mean, I'll be with Ranma. Even if.... if it's not the way I want.*
Ryouga laughed, somewhat uneasily. "Ranma, in all the times I've known you, you've never been so serious about going out with a guy..... you enjoy it, don't you??" Ryouga tried to rationalize why his rival and erstwhile friend would do this to Akane.... it wasn't funny in the least, in Ryouga's opinion.
Ranma looked up at Hiroshi... then blushed as she realized her hand was against his chest. *Geeze.... that must've looked really bad...* She stepped away slightly, looking down at her feet and gathering herself, then raising her eyes to glare fire at Ryouga. "Enjoy WHAT Ryouga???"
Hiroshi touched his chest slightly..... where Ranma's hand had been. A sad glimmer reflecting in his soft brown eyes. *...yet she's always so close..... but so far, far away.... Oh, it's such a cruel fate..... an unfair price to pay.... my delicate soul weeps.... forged of Fragile Clay....* The words seemed to flow in his mind, along with the pain.
Ryouga smirked, his stoic surety in his own self-righteous ideals faltering for a moment as he sees a familiar glint in Hiroshi's eyes. *....I....have seen that.... many times before... but where??* He couldn't fathom that the lonely glimmer of loss and anguish in Hiroshi's eyes matched his own soul, par for par.
".....Being with a guy, Ranma.... you obviously like it, if this isn't a joke." Ryouga chuckled, but it sounded more forced than to his liking.
Nodoka looked up at Hiroshi, who was standing stunned staring at Ryouga. *What is in that boy's mind??? ...no.... Better question.... what is in my own Boy's mind??* She looked at Ranma fearfully as she saw the anger building within her blue eyes.
"....I'll do anything to win this contest..... I've gotta prove to Akane..... Show her I can take care of her...." Ranma's fists were clenched. How *DARE* Ryouga even suggest a thing!!! Especially of Hiroshi, who had been there when nobody else was! She needed him now, and he was there for her.....
"This was NEVER about Akane, Ranma!!! This is all about your foolish pride!" Ryouga growled, his eyes narrowing to a dangerous glare. Ranma was trying to rationalize the arrogant and self-serving attitude she always had!!! Ryouga was getting sick and tired of his Rival's flippant ways, and immature excuses for her actions.
Ranma clenched a fist, knuckles popping. "...Take that back, Ryouga.... Or I'll shove those words down your throat." Ryouga had NO right to say that....
Hiroshi put a hand on Ranma's shoulder, ".....Ranma....." His soft voice crashed against the walls of anger, washing them away as if a wall of mud in a rainstorm, her composure instantly eased.....
The tense stress of the surrounding world seemed to drain away. "Let it go, Ranma..." Hiroshi whispered in a soothing tone. "...Ryouga is right, in part, but so are you.... just let it go."
Ranma looked angry for a moment, then hurt.... then infinitely weary as she nodded with a sigh. "...yeah....I guess you're right, Hiroshi." However much she hated to admit it, whenever Hiroshi had that serious tone in his voice, she always had to look back at what she had said, and what she had meant.
"...w...w...what?" Ryouga stuttered. He looked at the red-head with her eyes downcast for a long moment. Maybe Ranma really WAS losing it..... she'd never admitted she was wrong before. Not openly, and NEVER to Ryouga.
"Sorry, Ryouga.... you're right, I should be more considerate about Akane and her feelings. I guess I've been a bit absent lately..... we've been avoiding eachother, I guess you could say."
Nodoka smiled softly at the admission. It took a lot for Ranma to admit she was wrong..... and usually, it never happened without a long and painful argument on Ranma's part.
There was a sort of easing presence to Hiroshi's company.... Nodoka noted. It.... disturbed her to no end, a screaming thought in the back of her mind telling her the boy's considerate attitude was a danger for some reason.
She looked at Hiroshi with her own soft blue/gray eyes.... and the boy looked back for a moment.
She flinched at what she saw. There was a battle being waged in the boy's soul..... that she was sure of by the agony of conflicting emotions in his eyes. His smile.... just did not touch that soft brown gaze.
*Miramoto Hiroshi.... why are you so unhappy, child??? What woman, if any, could cause such a kind soul to quiver in such anguish???*
Hiroshi returned his gaze to Ryouga, who had a confused look on his face. He suspected that the lost-boy was surprised Ranma had admitted to error..... Ranma, Hiroshi had come to find, had trouble admitting when she was wrong.
Strangely.... his presence seemed to lessen that fact, make her more insightful and accepting of her own flaws. As if.....
As if her problems didn't matter as much.
Ryouga growled, clenching his fists. "I don't know what the heck happened to you, Ranma.... but.... but.... You had better not hurt Akane again!" Was that what he had meant to say? Ryouga's eye twitched for a moment.
It was not entirely what he was worried about. There was something VERY wrong here.... Ranma's actions had proven that to him, and regardless to what Ranma would believe, Ryouga was more observant than she gave him credit for.
With that said.... Ryouga turned, fists still clenched, and walked out the back door.....
"Oh my, Ranma.... are you sure you know what you are doing?? Akane seemed very shocked at your choice of partners." Kasumi uttered softly as she looked up again with Ryouga's departure.
"Sure I'm sure!! Besides, Akane'll get over it.... she's a strong girl." Ranma smiled, and looked at Hiroshi. "Besides..... Hiroshi is better than nobody at this point.... and I *NEEDED* a partner for the duel. I can't throw a fight like that.... jus' isn't my style."
Kasumi looked worriedly at Ranma. Perhaps she SHOULD talk to Ranma..... "...Ranma-Kun, would you step upstairs with me for a moment? I think we should talk about something." She couldn't put it off.... there was a flush on Ranma's face as the red-head looked at Hiroshi, then back at her.... she HAD to know.
Ranma blinked, looking at Kasumi, then back at Hiroshi. She smiled again. "Sure thing, Kasumi."
Kasumi rose. "Pardon me, Memeko-Chan..... I will only be a second."
Memeko smiled, if a bit uneasily. Ranma had definitely been acting flirtatious with Hiroshi, even if the sex-changing girl didn't notice. *Gods, How can she not notice how..... BOY crazy she is acting?? For that fact, how can nobody ELSE around here not notice??*
"It's okay, Kasumi-Chan..... I'll wait here for you. I'm in no hurry." Memeko looked at Nodoka, who, instead of making eye contact, was staring at Hiroshi with a confused expression on her face. *....or maybe they are putting things together. Kami.... Hiroshi, please be careful.*
Kasumi smiled happily, and walked to the stairs... Ranma on her heels. "Be back in a minute, Hi...."
Hiroshi smiled back, the gentle expression still not touching the cold anguish that he could not seem to wash away. *....always walking away..... and she doesn't even know she makes my heart ache.* "Sure thing, Ranma.... Not Like I'm goin' anywhere without Memeko and Kaehmi."
"Kay!" Ranma said in a positively Kawaii tone as she smiled and walked up after Kasumi.
Hiroshi felt like she was walking away from him forever..... and wondered if it was not for the best.
* * * * * *
<<Dark...>>
*<Cold....>*
<<So....Dark...>>
**How long... How long....**
<<Lonely....>>
*<A thousand Years.....>*
<<Where am I>>
^^You're in Limbo.^^
<<Where's Okaasan....>>
@She is gone...... we got lost.... There was a fight....@
<<...yes....Akuma... there was an Akuma.....>>
*<We will be free soon..... I know it.>*
A faint glimmer of light..... and a figure, small, lithe, and lanky...... floats through the darkness..... the cold, huddled form of a creature draws it's attention. The form was trying to escape within itself... the harsh cold of the vast abyss seeming to seep into his flesh....
Seeming to seep into his very soul, trying to fill it with the same emptiness around it.
<<...why am I so Alone??>>
@You have us, K-chan.....@
*<You'll always have us, Weakling.>*
**We will always stand by you, K-Chan.**
^^We are your strength.....^^
!!We are what makes you Whole!!
The figure floats closer.... a halberd strapped to it's back and a metallic Chinese style hat sitting upon it's head..... It looked at the pale body of the floating creature....
It took in the condition of the lost figure.... the vacant blue eyes that dance with chaos, the flesh that seems unnaturally cold and rigid, the wild mop of flame red hair and a green streak running down the center.
Whatever it was, it was curled into a fetal position.... floating in the midst of nothingness....
"....Lin ma Jin Pai....?? Oratta Xing Mao Xei?? Who are you... Rei??" Kappa mutters, grinning impishly.
The figure emits no response for several long moments. Kappa began wondering if the figure was actually still alive. Just a brief glance into the vacant eyes and he could see something that disturbed him, something that normal beings might have nightmares about.
Insanity.
<<...who....who are you???>>
@We're your friends... *Giggles*@
*<That is debatable....>*
**We are a part of you now.... as well as your past.**
^^We are your brethren...^^
!!You should Probably answer Imp-boy.!!
"Lali Na???? You awake, Sim Pa???" Kappa poked the prone figure with his halberd, and the deep blue eyes seemed to glow with life for a moment. If only but a moment, before the shattered, lost look returned to the gaunt face of the lost soul.
".....kaoru.....shimitsu....." Then lifelessness again. Kappa wondered if it had taken a great feat of willpower to focus the soul's fractured pieces close enough to say those two words.
The Imp tapped his hat, making a metallic ring throughout the empty void, a special resonance echoing in the empty space of Limbo, a tone that rang out and summoned forth a gate into being.
After what seemed an eternal moment, a sliver of light burst into existence... something Kaoru had not seen in 1000 years, something his shattered mind only half recognized from the abysmal depths of the dark aeon he had spent in the cold prison.
"...lamma Zin tei, you need return to life, Lali Na....." The Imp picked up the prone form of Kaoru... and dragged him towards the light. "I take you mountains, Zhim Pa Li Na.... It Dragon live there, who name Shimitsu, Maeri Na la...."
A tear escaped Kaoru's eye, rolling down his cheek. *.....I'm going home... Okaasan.... I'm coming home....* Some memories seemed to flash in his mind, of a laughing girl, a woman who embraced him.... a man with a smile.
The Tear drifted off of Kaoru's face, and floated lifelessly in the prison of Limbo, freezing moments later. It was a part of him he could not take from the void, a symbol that he could never take himself back from this abyss of torture.
And with that... the darkness of insanity returned.... the voices keeping him pleasant company.
* * * * * *
Daisuke sat at the small dining room table, wearing a leather strap around his forehead with a mini-snake light attached to the front.... in his mouth was a tiny screwdriver...
His face was poised in a curious child's fixture, and his eyes seemed to stare at the object in his hands with a fury of passion.... every detail being analyzed and stored in his memory with unique rapture for the most minute of fixations.
A large smile spread across his face as he turned the object left and right, looking at it with scrutinizingly professional skill.....
Of course, one watching this scene of monotony might find it a bit.... stranger than the usual tinkerers meditations.... because in Daisuke's hands was a human skull.
*....perfect.... evolution has done it's job swell.... now, all I have to do is try and squeeze all of that programming into something about this size..... and KAPOW! Zillionaire Daisuke! Most wanted man in the world! Women flocking to his doorstep for his easy spend lifestyle!!*
He chuckles slightly for a moment. *...okay... well, maybe I *DO* have to get through the hard work first.*
He had been happy that his Biology teacher had let him borrow the skull.... it was a genuine human skull dug up in one of the archaeological finds that his Teacher had attended frequently in his College days long past.
Daisuke, with the respect of it's delicate nature, placed the skull back on the table.... amidst the thousands of wires, Circuits, and complex innards of a hundred different things. Some things bought separately, with the price tags still attached.
*....well then, back to work....* He picked up a similar looking object... one shaped mostly like a skull, but with a very metallic sheen to it, and obviously unfinished from the wires sticking out of the bottom. *....hmm.... a genius's work is never done.*
The back door slammed open... startled Daisuke and almost causing him to drop the object of his momentary affections.
His father stood there.... the very semblance of a broken man. There was a fury of passionate emotions, a tumultuous tempest of raging contradiction in his eyes.... anger, depression, a somewhat sadistic pleasure at finding his son fooling around when he should be working.
To most, this might seem frightening, but Daisuke was used to his Father's eyes, no, that's not what scared him.
Many have seen the ragged drunkenness of a man without hope..... the stubble of a beard, the torn white tank top.... the filthy jeans..... Daisuke's father was no different to this clich�... but still, this did not startle the boy genius.
Rather, what scared Daisuke to death was the firm and unshakable contrast of his Father's face to his eyes.
Yushiro, his Father, always had the furious storm of clashing emotions in his eyes when drunk.... but unlike other people, he also had something that caused an even more disturbing image.
His face was an expressionless mask. It was as if it was painted on, a thing not real, like some marionette with it's strings cut.... the more disturbing fact came to Daisuke when he spoke.
"...what are you doing, you little bastard?? Didn't I tell you to clean the #$!@% Dishes??" His voice was soothingly calm.... as if he was completely sober. Most drunks have a slur, or a waver to their voice. Yushiro had an unearthly calm.
"...uh...m...mom's home, Father." Daisuke muttered, looking over at the woman in the apron washing the dishes.
"...You lazy little SH!T..... you should be doing the dishes, while your pompous mother should be making me my food." Yushiro walked over to his wife.... a bottle of Sake hanging from his hand as if ready to fall and shatter at any moment from his almost limp grasp.... as if it were some heavy wait that were attached to him pulling him down.
"Oh, hello Yushi-kun! I didn't hear you come in, Dear." Mrs. Nakano was a patient woman..... also a startling Contrast.
For months after Dai's father had been laid off, she had taken the punishment and cried from the pain... now she scared Daisuke as well....
"Shutup, Ikana..... where the hell is my food???" Yushiro asked.... his left hand tensing since his right was holding his bottle...
"Oh my, I had forgotten about it. I suppose I should get started on it then..." She was drying one of the plates in the kitchen.
His Father's fist came up, and smashed into her jaw... sending her whirling.... tears of pain suddenly flooding to her eyes. "....you know I want my food when I get home, Ikana. You should have that little bastard of our son doing the dishes while you finish what I tell you to."
The plate had fallen and shattered on the floor..... Ikana looked at it with dismay. "...oh dear, I seemed to have dropped the plate..."
Daisuke's father knocked over the drying bin... causing everything to shatter on the ground. His mother would clean it up later without a word. "...you better start cooking, Ikana....." He kicked her, a small whimper coming from her....
Daisuke was paralyzed with Fear. If he moved to help his Mother, his father would be even harsher on him, and then would beat his Mother badly. It was a nightly trial of fire and pain that Daisuke�s dreams were haunted by.
His mother shook for a moment, wiping away tears. "...yes, dinner would be good right now.... I'll start right away, Love."
*Love.....* Daisuke felt his heart fracture again, like it had a thousand times before. *....is this Love???* His mother had retreated from her mind... every blow seemed to push her farther and farther from the reality of her situation..... she reacted as if she had knocked over the dishes.
"...oh my, I'm sorry Love... I must have knocked them over when I collapsed...." She began gathering the dishes, only to have her face backhanded by her father.... he lifted her and whispered in her ear.
"...clean this sh!t up.... and get me my food, or I'll kill you, do you hear me you !@%#*?" he threw her on the ground. Daisuke whimpered a bit.
His father's face shot to him. "And you clean that bullsh!t up, taking apart all the crap I pay for... you're lucky I don't kick your little....." He turned with a sneer and shambled into the living room to watch some television.
Daisuke mentally had to calm himself, as his heart was racing at high speeds and he had broken out into a cold sweat.
He looked back at his Mother.... if anyone were to look at her, she would seem normal. A mother. Yet if they had just watched the tableau of blows being rained on her and her accepting them as nothing, they would likely see how disturbed she was....
Daisuke wiped his eyes.... from tears as his mother cleaned up the shards of broken dishware. *....is this Love???* He didn't know what love is, but it couldn't be this....
His fear, his terror, his pain at seeing his family breaking further and further, at watching his mother's sanity slowly ebb away like the tide, and at witnessing his father's desecration of his soul.... all of it ripped him apart.
So, he did what Daisuke Nakano does best... he ran away from the world.... he ran away from this circus of humanity.... he ran into his own mind, his own passions....
Daisuke turned back to the metallic skull.... and began his work again.... hoping that everything would be all right when he returned to the world.. hoping that his father would be the business wonder he once was.... hoping his mother would once again become the loving, trusting, understanding woman that smiled at everyone....
Hoping in vain.
Somewhere inside him, a boy cried.
* * * * * *
"Whadidja wanna talk to me about Ka-" She was cut off abruptly with the immense severity and seriousness of Kasumi's expression. The very room seemed like a calm before a storm.... despite Kasumi's cheerfully decorated tastes.
"...woah, man. What the heck happened to get you so upset?" Ranma rubbed the back of her head, looking fairly nervous, and fixing an embarrassed unsure look on her face. The past few days Kasumi had been tenser than usual.... which was disturbing in and of itself.
She had never seen Kasumi this serious and no-nonsense before. It was a startling contrast to how she USUALLY acted. Of course.... that morning had also been a little odd, with the shocked expression that Kasumi had worn.
"...Ranma. I have to know something.... and.... and I don't want you to be offended by what I might ask you, because I know some things are very important to you to protect." Kasumi was worried beyond belief.
Her hands smoothed over the clean white apron in her lap as she fixed her eyes on the floor, a puzzled, and deeply perplexed look on her face, as if she was puzzling out some dreadful meaning of a puzzle or riddle. She fixed her gaze on a specific spot and stared at it, organizing her thoughts in a quiet moment of contemplation.
She could see the concerned and worried look in Ranma's eyes.... could see the expression she wore that told her Ranma would listen to whatever she might say. To whatever was bothering her.
The gray dusk of the setting sun seemed to fit her mood... some reds splashed across the sky to mix with the coming clouds.
"...Sure, Kasumi. You know I'd love ta help ya in any way I can... talk to me..." Ranma felt a cold chill travel slowly up her spine..... something was slightly odd here, and she couldn't place what.
Ranma took a careful seat by Kasumi on the older girl's bed.. and turned to face her, relaxing her body and calming her features to try and get Kasumi to relax as well. She brushed some of her long scarlet hair behind her ear and looked at Kasumi with her gentle blue eyes.
"Ranma, you... you like Hiroshi a lot, don't you?" Kasumi asked.... finally bridging the topic of discussion. It took a lot more effort than her Mother had said. After the final words stopped in the air, Kasumi fixed Ranma with her soft brown gaze, a concerned, motherly expression on her face.
Kasumi realized that this would be a hard discussion to sit through.... one Ranma might storm out of at any moment if the wrong words were said. Ranma was like a fragile flower�. If tended wrongly, it would break� yet if treated with kindness, love, and compassion it would blossom.
Ranma thought about it for half a second, then nodded. "...Sure. Hiroshi's my best guy... I mean, he's been there so much recently, I've gotta care a little about him, right???" She sighed as she thought of Hiroshi. The images of his ever calming presence and his always ready supply of wisdom and care�
Then Kasumi noticed, like a fog falling over her, when that dreamy smile slowly drifted into Ranma's features. There was a vague sense of dread that suddenly fell completely over the Eldest Tendo Daughter. It was like all the horrible nightmares of a dark night rolled into one disturbing thought.
"....He's done a lot for me, ya know? I mean.... I don't think nobody has done so much for me ever... not Ukyou, not Pop, Not Akane even.... it's a little unnerving sometimes how much I rely on him, but he's m'man.... till the end." Ranma�s voice was cheery, wistful, distant.
Her eyes fixed on memories flashing in her own mind, some seeming distant recollections of happiness. Something Ranma had always been lacking since Jusenkyou.
Something Ranma had seen very little of since a six year old boy was torn from his mother�s caring embrace and thrust into the cold embrace of the real world, with only the passion of the Art provided it.
Ranma snapped out of her Reverie and looked at a slightly more pale Kasumi. "...Oh... wow, hey, Kasumi, Are you okay????" She reached over with a kind gesture, and touched Kasumi�s hand with her own in a somewhat feminine gesture of worry.
Kasumi jumped, and wrenched herself back to the reality of the situation.
Kasumi nodded, perhaps a bit too quickly... she might have never known afterwards. "Yes... Yes... I'm.... I'm just worried that you're spending far too much time with Hiroshi than you should."
Ranma got a wary glare.... looking at Kasumi's fidgety motions.... Kasumi was NEVER fidgety, in Ranma's experience. Right now she was constantly straightening her dress, and avoiding Ranma's eyes. Ranma felt a sort of defensive wall building within her from Kasumi�s question, and she didn�t know why she felt threatened by the simple inquiry.
"What's wrong with spendin' a little time with a great friend, Kasumi??? Hiroshi's been there for me, when I really needed someone t'listen. I don't think I could ever repay that," Ranma crossed her arms under her breasts... tilting her head to one side in a curious gesture as she wondered what Kasumi was driving at.
Kasumi tugged a little on her pony-tail. "...Ranma...It's just... you seem to be acting like.... like Hiroshi was more than a friend?" Kasumi hated the way those words had come out� slightly strangled, hasty, and with more than a bit of fear in it� she was so unused to handling fear with someone else around.
Ranma blinked. Genuinely stunned. "KASUMI!?" The walls grew thicker, higher�. Protecting Ranma from the hurtful implications.
"...oh...oh my...." Kasumi looked abashed, red, and embarrassed.... as well as a little startled. Worried, Ranma might say...
Kasumi's eyes were seeking anything and everything but Ranma.... and her hands were wringing in a nervous gesture.
"What the heck are you talkin' about?" Ranma couldn't believe her ears. KASUMI thought that.....
WITH HIROSHI?!?
"....I'm sorry, Ranma... but you're scaring us all.... I mean, when you're with Hiroshi... and Akane.... now the dance... Oh.... Oh my, I'm not sure what to say," Kasumi looked back at Ranma with fear in her eyes.
Fear of Retribution.
"...Kasumi.... you KNOW me.... I would never-"
"...but I don't, Ranma. I don't know you half as well as I thought.... That�s what you�ve been telling everyone lately, and quite often I must say." Kasumi seemed to have calmed. It was an uneasy calm. Ranma could see a storm behind Kasumi's eyes..... in her tense body.... there was a lot of worry Kasumi was holding back.
She had just seen a bit of what Kasumi had been hiding.
"Kasumi. You know me'n Hiroshi are just friends..... I don't believe you would think such a thing!" Ranma couldn't believe her ears. Kasumi was accusing her of being attracted to a MAN of all things!
The idea was crazy..... completely ludicrous.
"...You should talk to Akane, Ranma. I.... I think she was hurt by the way you were acting with
Hiroshi." Kasumi looked to the door... then back at Ranma.... who was looking out the window at the setting sun.
The sun..... was slowly vanishing behind the horizon. Soon, Ranma knew, there would be a darkness.
"...Yeah.... I guess I should, Kasumi." She scoffed, a bit offended by the implications. "....I.... I don't want to hurt Akane anymore. I want to get to know her better, let her get to know the real me."
Kasumi nodded slowly.... opening the door and stepping out...... "...I will be downstairs, telling Memeko and Kaehmi goodbye."
Ranma nodded absently.... looking out the window again.
The Sun was setting... the darkness would be here soon.
".....absurd......" Ranma heard herself say, with her voice wavering slightly. She half wondered why it had wavered. She half wondered why "disgusting", "revolting", or "gross" had not come into her line of thinking on the subject.
The darkness was coming.
But would she be alone in it?
* * * * * *
Akane stared down at the notebook she had snatched from Ranma's backpack.... her right eye was twitching slightly as she read it.....
The flame flickered slightly, dancing gently atop the candle.... It's light providing much more illumination than irregular shining of the moon�
Akane wasn't so much as surprised from the WRITING, although that was also shocking in some respects..... she was more surprised at what surrounded it.
Ranma had never been too prone to doodle when he was bored, although on occasion she would see him sketch out something or other. He'd usually throw away the piece of paper, having gotten bored with THAT as well.
No... no the writing isn't what surprised Akane.... it was the doodles. Some of them involving the daily Kuno-smashings, some of them involving Shampoo and Mousse.... but ALL of them were...
Disgustingly cute Chibi-figures.
With hearts.
And Smiley faces.
Akane's eye twitched for these reasons.... *What the hell did Nodoka and the others DO to Ranma?*
She had taken the book from Ranma's bag as she had walked upstairs, with the vague dread that Hiroshi meant more to Ranma than a simple friend.
She had discarded that thought, Ranma was so homophobic that that sort of thing was an IMPOSSIBILITY.
She was, however, still worried about Ranma's growing sense of femininity. Akane had mentioned that morning that Ranma looked good with long hair, feeling a bit uncomfortable saying so at the time, too.
Ranma had blushed... and said 'Thank you Akane, you don't know how much that means to me.'
Akane snapped the book shut with a gasp as she came to a page that said "...Dear Diary..." her face going pale. She had noticed that it was Ranma's personal book, but he had NEVER referred to it as his diary in any of his notes.
Not only did it say THAT, but it was written in a carefully scrawled out hand. "...Ranma....what is happening to you..."
There was a knock at the door, and Akane jumped... taking the book and stuffing it in her pillowcase.... ".c...come in."
The door slowly creaked open, snuffing the candle. "...a...akane? I...I think maybe we should talk..." Ranma said quietly, his voice much deeper and richer than his female side's. He sounded a bit uncertain, and from what Akane could make out, he seemed slightly worried...
*At least he's male again... thank goodness...*
Akane�s eyes traveled over to her clock, which read 2:37 a.m.. The sky outside was largely overcast.
She sat up, stretching a bit and yawned. "�You can come in, Ranma�" She said in a somewhat upset tone.
Ranma tentatively stepped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him, his eyes looked around the room, taking it all in with a nervous precision. On almost every occasion he�d been in Akane�s room, he had always ended up going out through the window.
"You know it�s 2 o�clock in the morning, Ranma� what the heck are you doing up so late?" She asked, tossing aside her blankets and sitting on the edge of the bed, her brown gaze locking with Ranma�s blue eyes.
"�I�..I know, I couldn�t sleep� I got ta� thinkin� about what Kasumi had said to me, and�.. well, Akane, I think we need to talk. I mean�" Ranma rubbed the back of his head, still standing at the doorway, looking away nervously.
Akane�s gaze softened a bit. "You know you can sit down, Ranma. I don�t mind�" She patted the bed beside her, relaxing her defenses that always seemed to go up around Ranma.
Ranma walked a few steps in, uncertainly, then looked back up at Akane�s eyes.
Akane put a smile on her face, trying to assure Ranma that she was sincere this time. "Come on, really�. I�m sorry about running out earlier, Ranma." She said, though it was a bit hard to admit out loud, it had always been hard to apologize to Ranma.
The young Saotome boy looked at Akane, then the place offered, and turned, sitting gently� "..I� Actually, I wanted to come talk to you about that too�. Kasumi had some outrageous ideas about why you were upset� but I guess some of them make a little bit of sense."
Akane tensed again. *�.could Oneechan have seen it too??? Oh Kami, please don�t let it be true�.* She could never believe Ranma would do that, with ANY man.
Ranma loved her, and she knew it. He�d said so very few times, when he could have so many different times. It made those three special words all the more precious to Akane.
"Akane�. I�m sorry, I know I�ve been spending a lot of time as a female, and that upsets everyone I guess." Ranma sighed, looking down at his hands, then up at the door of the room.
"I-I think I understand why, Ranma, but you don�t have to be so brave about it. I just worry about you." Akane looked over at Ranma, and was startled to find his soft blue gaze looking into her own deep brown eyes.
"I know, Akane. I know�" He touched her cheek gently. "It�s not about me, though. It�s about overcoming this�. This FEAR that I feel towards the curse. I guess I�ve kinda forgotten how much time I�ve been spendin� as a girl, but sometimes I�m more comfortable that way, I think." Ranma closed his eyes, holding back a wash of uncertainty at his own words.
*How could I be more comfortable as a girl?? I�m not supposed to be comfortable as a girl�. But why doesn�t that seem so important?*
Akane looked at Ranma, obvious care and compassion playing across her features. "Ranma, I know why you started doing this, but� but I am so afraid you�ll start drifting away from me, that you�ll become some person I don�t even know�" Her hand came up to his cheek, and caressed it gently.
Ranma opened his gentle blue eyes, looking into Akane�s. "Are you so sure you know me so well, Akane?" He asked, his own hand coming up and holding Akane�s hand from his face. A bit of pain flashed across his gentle eyes as he stopped her loving caress.
Akane looked a bit confused, but more hurt than lost. "�I�.I want to�" She felt something drip from her chin.
Were these tears she shed?? They couldn�t be from her, she had so rarely cried in the years spanning her Mother�s death. "I�I want to know you, Ranma, I want to be with you, and walk with you� I want to get inside, but you� you keep us all out."
Yes, they were tears, Yet that wasn�t the important part. They were HER tears� some dark lurking pain and emptiness welling inside her chest, like a wound that was bleeding itself larger and larger, soaking her with it�s dark feeling. It�s�.. loneliness.
"No. Akane, No," Ranma took Akane by the shoulders, looking her directly in the face. "�Look at me, I don�t ever want to hurt you by what I say, but you need to know it�."
Akane pulled her eyes up to Ranma�s, her tears still flowering and running down her cheeks.
That gaze was so hard to meet for her. A gaze filled with pain and torment, what REALLY resided in Ranma�s past? She had never known� she could never possibly begin to imagine what had shaped this man before her, this frightened wild creature that could so easily change everyone�s lives, but never it�s own.
"I�ve never kept you out� NEVER� I�ve been crying silently inside myself, too proud, too brave to let it out, but that NEVER stopped any of you from simply sitting down and asking. I never kept anyone out, Akane, no� I can insult, and fight, and argue all I want, but that�s not keeping people from seeing who I am.
It�s their own fears of what they could find. Ucchan is afraid she won�t find the love she has for me, Shampoo was afraid that I will reject her utterly, Ryouga always afraid that the friendship we once had is utterly dead, and you? You�re afraid of finding out I�m horrible, finding out you are so right about me and have always been." Ranma�s hands were gentle in their grip, but his eyes tore Akane to the bone.
"No!! No!! It�s not! I want to, please�. I didn�t� it�s not true." Akane was shaking violently�. Tears and sobs tearing at her soul.
Ranma took her into his arms, and just held her there for a long moment. "�Akane, Kami, I never want to hurt you. Never. With my words, or my actions, or my�. choices. You are the only one I
think about every time I�m forced to choose, wondering if you could forgive me if I chose someone else, wondering if we would be happy if we chose each other.
I can�t know, though. You and I know so little about each other, about who we really are�"
"I want to�. Ranma, I have always wanted to�." Akane said through a sob, wrapping her arms around Ranma as if he would be torn away forever and flung to the farthest wind, out of her reach.
"No, Akane�. Please, oh Kami, Please just listen to the truth for once, listen to me� look at yourself�" Ranma felt his own hot, acrid tears welling up. The truth could hurt so much, could burn and destroy so much, But it had to be said.
Akane shook her head, burying her face in Ranma�s chest.
"�I never kept you outside� you chose to stay that way, you chose to toss aside what you could�ve known about me for your own pride. I�m sorry, Akane, I was silently asking for someone to understand, and you were never there to listen." Ranma shook a bit himself� and clenched his eyes shut tightly, a few tears running down his face and into Akane�s hair.
"�Ranma�. Ranma.. please�.I didn�t�. no� I�m sorry�. Please.." She sobbed, looking up at Ranma.
Ranma�s eyes, filled with tears, were understanding. "I know, Akane. I know you didn�t mean to� I know you�d always ached to see me, the real me. The only time you saw the real me was that first day in the dojo, I�m serious," He sniffed, and wiped his eyes with one hand� his bout of emotion having slowly passed by.
Akane looked uncertain, gazing into Ranma�s deep blue eyes. Wanting to become lost in their soulful depths. "..Ranma� can� can we�"
"Yes, Akane?" He asked, patiently. His hand slowly clasping Akane�s with understanding.
"�.I�Let�s� let�s get to know each other." Akane smiled, a bit forced, but she smiled none the less.
Ranma smiled in kind. He could feel something beginning, something wonderful, something new and glorious.
It was like the dawning of a new day, where the world would be perfect and full of all the things that it so lacked before.
"�Hai�" Ranma said with a gentle smile. "Hai, I think I�d like that, Akane."
Akane smiled a bit, and nodded, and they both sat for a long moment, gazing at each other�. A decision had been made.
* * * * * *
"My Mother used to sit down at night and tell us Fairy Tales. I don�t know if Nabiki remembers, but Kasumi sometimes talks to me about some of them. When we�re here alone, and neither of us can sleep, we sometimes try and think up how they used to go."
Akane walked quietly after her statement, her hand clasped in Ranma�s. Her eyes went up to the moon, a silent watcher that bathed the two lovers in a glowing light.
Ranma looked at Akane as they walked, his other hand in his coat pocket. "She must�ve been somethin� Akane. I mean, you girls never talk �bout her."
Akane reflected sadly for a moment, recalling the sickness that had swept down upon her mother quickly, without warning, and taken her within months from a loving family. A silent angel of grim servitude, collecting souls without compassion to those left behind.
"She was everything to me, Ranma. She was a lot to many people around town�. But they never talk about her. I think it�s out of respect for her spirit that they pretend not to mourn." Akane looked up at Ranma�s silhouette, his soft blue eyes seeming to take in the moonlight.
"Wish I could�ve known her, Akane� I really do. Was she anything like you?" Ranma said, smirking slightly.
Akane smirked a bit, and leaned into Ranma, taking her hand from his and wrapping her arm around his waist. "�no� no she was nothing like me. She was a bit of us all, the best parts I think. Kasumi�s natural motherly instincts, Nabiki�s quick wit and financial skills, and my silent strength and inexhaustible reserves."
Ranma heaved a sigh of relief in jest. "Whew, glad she wasn�t a terrible cook. That way I know it�s not inherited."
Akane looked mock offended and poked Ranma hard in the side. "Baka!! You� Baka.." She whispered affectionately as she leaned her head against his chest. For some odd reason, Akane couldn�t get angry at his comment. She could find no rational reason not to, but the anger simply would not culminate.
Ranma draped an arm around Akane, glad that they had brought their coats as the brisk chill of the wind picked up for a moment, tossing leaves around the park at random.
"She would�ve liked you, Ranma. I really think she would have." Akane said sadly. Her eyes looking up at the tree�s and remembering a time so long ago when the blossoms were full, and a happy family had gone on picnics in the sun of the summer days.
"It seems such a long time ago�. Like summer was all our Mother had with us, it�s what I remember the best, Ranma�." She could feel the sting of tears welling in her eyes again. "�now.. now it�s winter, and�. The pain still hasn�t stopped, even after so long."
Ranma looked around at the skeletal tree�s, having already shed their leaves and getting ready for the long slumber of winter. His arm tightened around Akane for a brief moment, then relaxed, reassuring her that he was there if she needed to say something.
"Ranma� what kind of music do you like??" Akane asked suddenly. Her head rising a bit.
Ranma wasn�t surprised that she would want to change the subject, he couldn�t imagine losing his father so suddenly, or even his mother now that he was getting to know her.
"�I don�t know. I listen to a lot of stuff. Recently, I�ve been listening to a lot of classical. It�s Okay, but I still love a good rock song on any occasion possible." He smiles and looks down at Akane.
"�I Like Romantic songs. I don�t know, that�s silly, isn�t it? I mean, I�m so �tomboyish� all the time, it seems kind of silly to be attached to Romantic music." Akane blushed a bit, purposefully avoiding Ranma�s eyes.
He laughed a bit, surprising Akane� she was startled at first from the sound, then the familiar veil of anger began to descend over her mind.
"�That�s great, Akane!" Ranma said, calming down as he noticed the tense nature Akane�s body was taking on. "�I mean, I would never have guessed. That�s wonderful, Akane. I really mean that."
Again, She was shocked. What she had thought had began an insult ended up a compliment. "�D� Domo, Ranma." She said� smiling a bit in return.
"�This is great. I� I feel so alive, and happy all at once, I�m glad you asked to do this, Akane." He said, looking down at her as they came to the lake.
"So am I, Ranma." Akane said, taking a seat on the bench. Ranma sat down beside her a moment later.
Ranma looked at the water for a long moment. *Water�. It still makes me so uncomfortable, but�. At least I don�t feel helpless terror when I�m in it anymore.* He smiled and looked over at Akane.
"�you were just wondering about your fear, weren�t you Ranma?" She asked, looking up at him.
Ranma�s face took on a puzzled, and somewhat stung expression. "�..yeah� yeah I was." He said cautiously, as he leaned back, crossing his arms.
"What happened, Ranma? I mean, you�re so different now that sometimes I�m so scared you�re slipping away." She looked down at her hands in her lap, and brought them to her mouth, cupping them then blowing into them to warm them from the chilled autumn night air.
"�Akane, I know I�m different. I� I wish I could explain how much happier I am, how brightly I see the world nowadays. In such a short time, it�s like the world�s been turned upside down from some dark depressing nightmare into some dream world." Ranma picked up a stone by the bench, and launched it into the lake.
*15�* He thought absently to himself, not really much caring about how many times it had skipped.
Akane blinked at the amount, however.. then shook her head as Ranma�s words registered. "�how do you mean, Ranma?"
"I dunno, Akane. I mean, so many little things I use�ta worry about are now things I don�t even think about. The world seems like such a better place, since I-" Ranma trailed off� looking down at the ground in a bit of embarrassment.
"�Go ahead, since you�ve gotten to know Hiroshi." Akane said in a level, almost half angry tone.
"..Akane, please. I don�t wanna talk about him right now, Okay?" Ranma said, looking up with a bit of fear and pain.
"Ranma, why is it you spend so much time worrying about Hiroshi when� When I�m here worrying about you. I�m always standing right beside you, but you never even notice." Akane said, looking away from Ranma at the barren trees.
"Akane, I know, I�m sorry. It�s jus� that �Roshi�s been there for me. I mean, I feel so responsible for everything that�s happened to him, and I just want him to be happy. He did so much for US too, Akane!" Ranma gently took Akane�s hand into his, his eyes looking at her intently.
Akane looked back, with tears. "I� I know, Ranma. If it wasn�t for Hiroshi, we would never�. And we�d be apart now. I�m so sorry. I don�t know WHY I just� I feel�."
"Jealous?"
"Yes� It makes no sense, I know that you�d never� I mean, with a man. But I keep having these feelings when you choose to spend your time with Hiroshi, instead of me." Akane suddenly hugged Ranma tightly.
"�I� I guess it is somewhat my fault, Akane. I mean, I knew how you felt, heck, I knew how I felt. I was just afraid, and I still feel so unready for you. I spend so much time with Hiroshi because he�s helped me out of so much, that I was hoping maybe he could somehow help me get through to you." Ranma�s mind told him there was another reason, somewhere, but he ignored that part of his mind.
Right now he was with Akane, and nothing was going to ruin that.
"I�I guess I could�ve tried harder, Ranma�. Back at the Wedding, after Herb, or the Cat�s Tongue. I guess I should�ve tried to see it clearer when you spoke at the Skating Tournament, when you tried finding the cure for the shampoo that Shampoo used on me� all the times you saved me. Kirin, Toma� Saffron." She fell silent a long moment, looking down at the hands in her lap.
Those hands had always been easier tools of punishment than they had been instruments of healing, her righteous anger always much easier to wield than a gentle caress.
"Akane. We� both didn�t try hard enough. I�. I�m sorry about what I said a while ag-" Akane held a finger across Ranma�s lips, tears glimmering in her brown eyes.
"..No. Don�t you ever apologize to me when you don�t need to, Saotome Ranma� don�t tell me something to ease my heart that is just a candy coated lie." Akane sounded angry, and close to tears.
Ranma had rarely seen this combination in her mood. "..A..Akane? But I was wrong, it was partly-"
"No. No, you were right Ranma�," Akane took her finger from his lips.. looking down slightly at her hand in his.. she squeezed it unsurely.
"No� I was at fault. We all were. Ucchan, Shampoo, Ryouga, Mousse, and I. I�. It�s so hard to see that Ranma. It�s so hard to look at yourself and see how badly you�ve wronged someone." A gentle tear rolled down her cheek, it was a silent tear in a moment of grieving.
Ranma gently brought his hand up and caressed her cheek, wiping the tear away with loving grace. "�the truth.. is always hard to see, Akane� I ignored it for a very long time, and I almost lost you because of it."
Ranma could feel the sweet pain inside his chest�. That beautiful feeling that welled inside of him whenever he was near Akane. That feeling that, until recently, he didn�t know how to react to. It was a deep aching inside of him, a throbbing in his heart� something that made the entire world seem more real to him.
"�I.. I don�t know why I didn�t see it, Ranma. I feel so ashamed for treating you like I did, never listening to your side, never waiting for you to� open up. Never trying to� to understand you." Akane sighs, another tear rolling down her cheek.
Ranma�s hand, so gently, cupped Akane�s chin� lifting it as he looked into her brown eyes, the wind stirring his hair as he looked down into her eyes. "�Reaching out� is hard for me too, Akane. I�m just as guilty."
Akane smiled a bit at that. "�I never had a reason to open up to you, Ranma. I never had your curse, or your life� I never had your� pain." She said quietly.
Ranma nodded, his lips gently brushing Akane�s. "Well, I�ve given you the chance, Akane. I have to say, you�re doing well so far." His heart throbbed in his chest as Akane looked up, a gentle smile ghosting across her face for a brief instant.
Akane leaned forward languidly, bringing her lips to Ranma�s and pressing gently in a kiss. Ranma responded with the same gentle, quiet passion that Akane displayed.
For a brief moment, all was right with the world, all was perfect and all was frozen in that moment of solitude. Just for one instance, Ranma�s entire world made sense, his entire life was clarified.
Akane could hear nor see anything else, only Ranma. There was nothing else for her... no lake, no trees, no sky nor moon. Her entire world included a single kiss and her arms around someone she
KNEW she loved... without a doubt.
Yet... all things so perfect rarely last, the sky boomed it�s jealousy of the bliss and exploded downward in a full blow tempest.
Ranma shrank, his body taking on curves and angles to rival Akane�s. In that moment... the kiss stopped.
There was an almost sad look in Ranma�s eyes as she caressed Akane�s cheek, the emotion playing there was so intense that no words could ever be put to test in order to explain it. For one brief moment in the infinite, Ranma�s life was whole... for one single second in a lifetime of troubled thoughts, she was complete.. no longer a shattered, lost soul.
"...akane..." She whispered softly, her soft, feminine soprano cutting through the night like some vile blade of reality. Snapping the blissfull moment in twain with harsh uncaring.
Akane�s face was a mix of pain, fear, anger, and sorrow. "..R..Ranma..." she murmured softly.. holding tighter to the redhead in her arms... the woman who had somehow ripped the man from her arms.
*NO!!! It.. will NOT be this way!* Through the fierce rain, a tear trickled down her cheek, mixing with those shed by kami which descended upon the two lovers from on high. *I won�t let it end... it�s the beginning, and I won�t waste it!!!*
Ranma began to turn away... that painful darkness descending on her soul... that bleeding feeling inside her chest, where the sludge of depression slowly grew. *This curse... this curse and all it�s pain, will the hurting never stop???*
Ranma flinched somewhat as Akane�s hand touched her chin.... and for a moment, she struggled... not knowing why, noticing a face flash through her mind that she could barely make out before it was gone.....
"Ranma.... I Love you. I Think I have loved you since the moment we met.... yes, even as a girl. There was something about you, some spark... something that made the rest of the world unreal." Akane�s soft brown gaze seemed sad, but vigilant in their emotion.
"I can�t lose you, not now, not ever. I could never give up on you, no matter how much we fight, or how much I hurt you... I realize that now. I understand, finally, what love truly is. It is you, Ranma. You are what makes my world worth living...." Akane could barely hold back the tears.
They both realized they were being drenched... that they could possibly catch a cold. Yet, for once, neither cared. It was as if all the events of the past were but a mere dream compared to the reality of this profound truth.
Ranma gazed a moment longer into Akane�s eyes... then smiled. It was a gentle smile, an understanding smile. "Akane.... I am so sorry about tonight, about.. about everything I�ve done. Is this real?? Are.... Are we going to try this time, to.. to make this work?"
Akane nodded softly.... wrapping her hand around Ranma�s. "....You bet. We�ll get through all of this... no matter what."
Ranma smiled inside and outside... it was a rare moment, one history would do well to note. It was a rare happening with Tendo Akane, with a one Miramoto Hiroshi it had happened often as of late... but hardly often with the fierce Tendo Akane.
Somewhere, in Nerima, two lovers sat. Talking.
Some might not find this odd.....
Yet to the people who knew them best, it was a miracle....
In another place... nearby, a boy lost in a dream sat weeping... for what might have been, for what may yet still be.
Weeping his tears for a stone statue which sat unyielding, with a smile of love on it�s face.
Icy Raindrops fell.... and as the two lovers began their long and winding road home a front of icy clouds moved in from the south....
Winter�s bite was soon to be delivered.
* * * * * *