This is just _too_ funny.  I've forwarded it to a couple friends who aren't 
subscribed to the list.

I've just found one tiny, little nitpick:

       "Bad feeling.  Like someone attack Ranma for no good reason."

       "Aaah, when does that ever happen?"

       Ranma started ticking fingers.  "Lost boy, Herb, Copycat Ken,
stupid Pantyhose monster boy, old pervert..."

       "..."

       "Cute spatula girl..."

       Akane growled.

       "Ramen girl, ramen girl's hibachan, tomboy-- lots, silly boy >that 
dress like girl, stick boy all the time..."

Ranma already has a silly name for Cologne.  It's Old Ghoul.  Why wouldn't 
he use it here?  Also, you left out Duck Boy.  And, depending on when this 
splits off from TOS, Winged Lady (Kiima?  I think that's the name...).  From 
my (admittedly sketchy) understanding of the end of the series, Saffron 
wouldn't really count, since Ranma attecked him to rescue Akane.

This does, however, bring up an interesting point:

       "Phoenixes don't HAVE teeth."

Would a tooth from a member of the Phoenix Mountain tribe count?  It might 
be interesting to see Midol actually succeed in the tasks Cologne has set.  
It wouldn't cause that many long-term problems for Ranma.  After all, 
Cologne only suggested one date, something Ranma has done to get what he 
wants, at least while male.  To make matters more interesting, you could use 
that fanfic cliche that Happosai has in his possesion multiple stolen 
treasures of the Jokuzetsu, and have that be the 'hoard' Cologne wants 
recovered.  Happosai would probably kill to protect his panty collection.  
Midol might be able to get away with walking off with mysterious magical 
objects.

--
Erik

"What's more dangerous than a mage out to rule the entire world?  Why, a 
mage at play, of course...."

        -Ed Greenwood, "Elminster at the Magefair"

http://www.cs.transy.edu/ejessup/homepage.html
--



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