It is my understanding that this story has generated
some responses, though I admit I haven't read most of
them.  If I repeat what someone else has said, please
bear with me.

This is an extremely ambitious subject you're 
attempting to tackle here.  In order to do the matter
justice, I would suggest you apply a great deal of
thought and research before laying into the nine or
ten chapters you have in mind.  

The most apparent difficulty I have with the tale at
first is that it is a transposition of an American tragedy
into Japanese society.  This is not to say that the
Columbine tragedy was uniquely American, or even
that something similar would be impossible in Japan.
Nevertheless, from all we understand of the incident,
it had some its roots in specific elements of American 
culture.

Perhaps you wish to make a point that "it could happen
anywhere," and certainly Japan is not some sort of
violence-free paradise.  The nerve-gas attacks by a
religious fringe group were a very visible example of
this.  

I am no expert on Japan, but I would feel quite 
uncomfortable superimposing the acceptance of
violence as a solution, the fixation with the Nazi
regime, severe parental indifference, and the failure
of institutions of moral guidance upon another 
culture with which I lacked strong familiarity.  These
were all factors in the Columbine tragedy.  Until you
have a clear understanding through research of how
such factors are mirrored in this other culture, you 
might hold off on continuing this story.  Again, this
is driven by the seriousness of the subject matter - 
a light comedy or even a "Ill Met By Starlight" sort 
of darkfic does not require the same comprehensive
grasp of the culture in question which "Lost" should
have in order to succeed, as I see it.

And of course you have the matter of availability of
guns, which is unquestionably a huge difference
between America and Japan.  The likelihood of a 
high school student like Gosunkugi being able to get
his hands on an automatic weapon is utterly remote.

Realize that you do not have to mirror the Columbine
tragedy directly in order to make a story which deals
with similar human issues.  If you're set upon writing a tale
in which these students commit an act of destruction
upon their school and fellow students, perhaps it would
be more likely that they would do it with poison than 
with explosives and guns.  If you subscribe to the 
competent Gosunkugi model, you could even achieve
the same effect by having him summon some dark power
which he cannot control.

However, if your focus is on the alienation and hopelessness
of these students and how their classmates would react
when suddenly and shockingly exposed to it, you could
write a very worthwhile story without going into the murder
angle at all.  A suicide is certainly more probable, and in
its way it is just as tragic.  

As a further suggestion for the crafting of this story, I 
believe you should really consider telling it all from the 
perspective of a single character.  Perhaps that character
is a reporter trying to come to an understanding of the
matter, or one of the Ranma cast, or just another student
in the school.  You can use whatever mechanisms are
necessary to allow that person to piece together as 
much of the story as you wish to reveal - discovery of
diaries, interviews with survivors, that sort of thing.  But
by holding it to a single character, I believe you'll be 
able to generate a stronger impact for this kind of tale
than you would with an omniscient narrative which 
allows multiple perspectives.  Each individual has to
deal with something like this on a very personal level.
By giving a through explanation of one person's attempts
to cope, you are more likely to allow the reader to 
identify with the experience.  This is what I would 
suggest, anyway.

I hope you continue this story.  I was not offended by
the idea that someone would want to write about this
(and, incidentally, I live in the Denver area), but I will
be disappointed if you just manage this small shock
piece and leave it at that.  I would also hope that the
rest of the story shows more sensitivity to the 
subject matter than this sequence:

 "WHAT DO WE WANT? WE WANT TO SEE SOME RESPECT. WE WANT WHAT YOU DENIED US! 
WE
 WANT REVENGE! WE WANT-"
<Someone from inside the building yells>
 "LOTS OF WOMEN AND FAST!"
<The leader quickly turns, nearly jumps out of his skin, and sprays the room 
with
bullets.>

The "lots of women and fast" line was quite out of place.
It casts doubts for the reader on whether or not you
intend to address the subject in a thoughtful fashion
(as I believe you wish to do), or if you are simply 
exploiting it for shock value (which I do not believe
was your intent, though others may differ).  

And you need to get a better handle on your word 
wrap.  I unequivocally recommend using a full 
line break between paragraphs for increased 
readibility for on-screen writing.  You've got enough
challenges with a story like this without letting
poor formatting drag it down.

Best of luck,

Grayson Towler
grayson@rigroup.net

http://www.rigroup.com/~grayson/relentless