C&C below.  Snippage throughout.

Disclaimers: Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of
Takahashi Rumiko, Shogagukan, and Kitty (Japan), and Viz Communications
(USA). Aa! Megami-sama and the characters therein are the property of
Fujishima Kosuke (Japan) and Dark Horse Comics (USA). No compensation
has been or will be received for the composition of this work - it is
for free entertainment purposes only.

A technical point: both Dark Horse and Studio Proteus hold rights to
OMG in the USA.

[...]

Belldandy saw two women standing in a doorway further down the hall and
two men standing behind them. There was a commotion in the room, and
she heard a girl yell "Pervert!" and something about a sister. The two
women in the hall fainted, and the men ran off.

Looking at the Tendo house layout, I don't think Kas^H^H^H
Belldandy would be able to see anything from the changing room, or
the hall outside it:

http://www.thecia.net/~dougmacd/ranma/house.html

[...]

Belldandy exited the changing room and walked to the two unconscious
women. She laid a hand on each and determined that they were not
harmed. Stepping into the room, she saw the new goddess randomly
flitting around the ceiling and mumbling to herself, her eyes staring
but not seeing. A mortal girl was hopping around on the foot of one leg
while holding the knee of the other.

suggest: walked towards the two unconscious women
or: walked up to

[...]

Nabiki's computer monitor began to glow blindingly, and again, everyone
stopped what they were doing to look. In a compression of geometry that
crossed the eyes and hurt the brain, a pair of shapely, bronze-skinned
legs began to exit the screen. They were followed by the start of a
dress and then hips. Hands now grasped the upper housing of the
monitor, and the rest of the woman slid out. The new arrival placed her
feet on the chair at the desk and pushed against it to raise herself to
a sitting position.

suggest dropping the "now" in "Hands now grasped the upper housing"

Sadly, the chair had rollers, and Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past, found
herself hanging in midair a split-second before landing painfully on
her bottom.

Ba-dum bum.  Emphasis on bum.  ^_^;

"ITAAAI!" Urd rubbed the back of her head where it had clipped the edge
of the desk. Belldandy put her hand over her mouth to cover a giggle,
but Urd noticed.

"What are you laughing at?" she groused.

"You must be mistaken.  I would never laugh at the misfortune of
others," she replied angelically.

[...]

Both goddesses looked at the mortal girl, Tendo Akane, as she joined
the other women in unconsciousness on the floor. The new goddess,
Saotome Ranma, begin flying in a tight circle, like a toy airplane on a
string, and screaming, "They're heeere! They're comin' to get me!
Aaaaah! I don't wanna go! Aaaa... UMPH!!"

Run, Ranma!  Run!  Er... Fly away, fly free!

Urd had reached up and snagged Ranma's ankle on a close pass, causing
Ranma's angular momentum to transfer itself downward and pivot on Urd's
shoulder joint. Kami-Ranma was now planted face-first into the floor,
arms and legs crooked and first and fourth fingers of the hands
extended.

Just as some rambling on my part, it's rather unfortunate that the
promise pose/Takahashi pose/demon warding pose can't be easily described
in words.  Enumerating fingers just doesn't seem right for this goofy
little gesture.

Belldandy walked over and tsked to herself as she looked onna-Ranma
over. "Did you have trouble finding the house?" she asked her sister.
"I was beginning to worry."

A guess as a (ahem) fallen angel, she's downgraded from Kami-Ranma to
onna-Ranma.  :j

"No..." Urd began, but stopped and grimaced. Using her strongest
healing spell, Urd built a weak and sputtering golden glow on the palms
of her hands. She reached back and placed them on her derriere. "Aaah!
That's the ticket." She gave a final rub and said, "The phone rang just
as you went through the mirror. It was HIM. I have a name," she
gestured at Ranma, "to go with the body, and a couple of other
details."

More rambling:  I use the capitalized pronoun Him to describe Kami-sama;
HIM looks like yelling.  Or perhaps booming, in this context.  I think
I can see why you went to all-caps, though.  When you start a sentence
with Him, you can't tell if it is the supernatural capitalization or not.

Perhaps that's why Studio Proteus uses "The Almighty."

"Oh?" Belldandy began to gently turn Ranma over, but gravity took over
half-way and Ranma flopped onto her back. "Gomeeen," Belldandy warbled
at the unconscious redhead.

Please add "gomen" to your glossary.

[...]

Belldandy blink-blinked while Urd continued to laugh. Smiling weakly,
Belldandy looked up at her sister with a mixture of hope and fear.
"Dearest Oneesama, I really, um, don't feel that... um, let me see. I
think, my dear, dear Oneesama, that perhaps you should be the one
to..."

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen her this obsequious.  And
here I thought  Ka^H^H Belldandy ruled with an iron smile.  0:)

[...]

"Urd," Belldandy admonished, "I know that look. Be careful. As a Class
I, she can draw more power than you can, and won't be able to control
it properly at first."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Urd said, dismissing the warning with a wave.

<Control's not that important anyway,> thought the goddess.

[...]

"Cheating pervert!" <You're MY fiance!> she thought but wouldn't say
aloud. She brought her mallet back to give her iinazuke a good wallop,
but her hammer was effortlessly stopped a few inches from Ranma's face
by Urd.

Did she grab it, or was it magic?

[...]

Akane returned the look. "Who the HELL are you to tell me what to do?!"

Urd winced at the mention of that other place. "Urd, Goddess of the
Past, Class 2, Category 2, Limited, at your service." She finished with
a slight bow.

Akane snorted. "Yeah, RIIIGHT. Now, if you'll KINDLY get out of the..."

Urd levitated three feet up. "You were saying?" she smirked.

"What, you think I haven't seen Dragonball Z?
I can take you; I'm a martial artist, too!"

[...]

"Aggressive little thing, ain't she," Urd remarked as she floated back
to the ground.

Elsewhere, Shampoo and Ukyo sneezed.

[...]

The women nodded, and Urd helped Ranma to her feet. Ranma noticed the
mallet in Akane's hand. "Uncute tomboy," she muttered, to which Urd
raised an eyebrow. Belldandy and the others had already left the room,
and Urd had her hands full with Ranma. That left Akane to sleep it off
on the floor, but Urd wasn't too terribly bothered by it.

I'm a little unclear on why Ranma made the tomboy remark.  And why
she doesn't seem to care about (or question) Akane lying unconscious.

[...]

Urd and Ranma walked into the hall and saw Belldandy waiting for them
at the top of the stairs. The three of them descended, both Norns
supporting Ranma. When they reached the bottom, they saw an oversized
panda bear with a steaming kettle in its paw patting a crying man on
the shoulder and growling in sympathy.

A giant teddy bear WOULD be awfully comforting, wouldn't it?  :)

[...]

Urd blink-blinked. "Why didn't he disintegrate? That should've sent him
straight to Niflheim."

Heh.  Niffle-heim.  It just sounds so... fuzzy!

[...]

Genma slowly opened his eyes, sat up, and looked up at the two women
over him. "Wh-where's the truck?" he asked. Urd snickered.

He wobbled uncertainly.  "I assure you, madam, I fully intended to
pay for the meal...  Perhaps your daughter needs a fiance?"

"I must apologize for my sister. She's a little trigger happy."

"I must apologize for my sister.  She just a violent maniac."

Silence descends upon the household, as sweatdrops appear on
everyone's head but Akane's.

"What?"

Belldandy glared at Urd and then bowed. "Hello, I'm Belldandy and this
is my sister, Urd. Urd, help me get the gentleman up."

I'm Belldandy, and

[...]

The Tendos and Saotomes face-faulted. As she rose, Akane noticed that
the skirt of Ranma's goddess outfit had fallen over her head, revealing
very form-fitting panties of shiny metallic green. Akane began to feel
a little warm. She then noticed that Nabiki had taken a look as well
and was blushing furiously as she stared. Akane rounded on Ranma. "You
PERVERT!!" She started to rise.

You know, I thought that it was *Akane's* head under Ranma's skirt(!)

[...]

"Mmm, although you usually don't run into many this far from the
source, but I see you each have one. I didn't put it together right
away. Sorry about the blast, panda-man," Urd said. Genma was annoyed at
the nickname.

...Doing the things a panda can.
Why does he cower? Nobody knows.
Panda man.  Panda man.

[...]

"So," Urd interrupted, looking at Ranma while Genma glared, "your name
is really Ranma, ne?"

Please add "ne" to your glossary.

[...]

Ranma managed a genuine smile. "Arigato," she whispered hoarsely.

And "arigato".

[...]

A pair of cool, brown eyes sat in a classically Northern European face
that would've been considered beautiful were it not for the two slanted
lines on her forehead that looked like gashes. Curly dark-blonde hair
blew around her face, and her well-formed figure was encased in a black
leather cheongsam that softly squeaked when she shifted her position.
The outfit was not comfortable for perching in a cherryblossom tree.

beautiful, were it not for [...] on her forehead, that

I didn't see cherryblossom or cheery-blossom in my dictionary.
It looks like two words.

She snorted as a man was blown through the wall of the house belonging
to the cherryblossom tree. <Way to go, Urd.> Her amused expression
faltered as the bane of her existence daintily stepped out through the
hole. <Belldandy!> The goodness radiating from her was almost
physically painful. The tree-borne watcher sucked in air, but relaxed
when Urd, white hair blowing in the breeze, followed Belldandy out.
Urd's presence alleviated the pain somewhat.

For some reason, Kuno arrived early. "My tree-borne watcher girl!"
Disrupting the plot, he was summarily beaten.

Mara, Demon Class I, grinned as Urd kicked the man after having fried
him with a force ball. <Still the same old Urd,> Mara mused. She
scowled as Belldandy cajoled her sister into helping the stout man up
and into the house. <Goodie two-shoes! I curse you to everlasting...>
"Huh?"

kicked the man, after having

[...]

The presence resolved itself into a man of beautiful features sitting
on the same large branch as Mara. Slight of build with long black hair
and a mildly aquiline nose, he could've passed for a bishonen idol
singer were it not for the hard glint in his eyes and the look of
disdain on his face. His demon markings consisted of two slashes but
slanted more to the horizontal than Mara's.

Quite a few missing commas in this paragraph:
Slight of build, with
bishonen idol singer, were
consisted of two slashes, but

[...]

Ranma managed a genuine smile. "Arigato," she whispered hoarsely. Her
smile faltered as she continued, "Now, whoever you are, just get with
turnin' me back to m'old self, ne?"

You might want to be a little be more worried that your boy-side
doesn't make a single appearance in this part, Ranma.  When the
Almighty says you can't change back, does he mean to a mortal, or
to a boy?

[...]

Urd's fascination with the bracelet hadn't gone unnoticed. "Whatta ya
got, there?" Ranma asked.

there?" asked Ranma.

[...]

"This," she said gleefully, "is a remote data link AND terminal. The
latest in divine-tech." Urd looked around, as proud as if it had been
'her' invention. The blank looks on the mortal faces surprised then
irritated her. With a scowl she shoved the bracelet onto her left arm.
The bracelet immediately generated a silvery white aura, through which
the brilliant rainbow hues of the circuits shone like stars.

She pushed the button on the bracelet, and after a hissing sound, her
clothing had shrunk to fit every contour of her body, taking on a
rubberized quality.  She turned to glare at Skuld, the outfit sqeaking
and straining at her movement.

"Oops.  That's my divine plug suit!"

Ranma blinked.  "Plug suit?  Why does that sound like something I have
dominion over?"

Nabiki blushed, "You can have dominion over *me* anytime, kami-baby."

This C&C appears to be taking an alarming direction...

[...]

Ranma watched in awe as, even to his trained eye, Urd's hands ceased to
be visible past the wrists. A dull, droning buzz arose from the super-
rapid and mechanically precise tapping of fingertips on the flat panel.
<Forget the amaguriken,> Ranma thought. <Gimme THAT! Chikushou! I
wonder if she can fight.> Everyone else was busy watching pages of data
scroll down fast enough to be a solid blur. After about 15 seconds of
watching the screen and typing without looking, Urd abruptly stopped.

Do you use the male pronoun to refer to female Ranma?
Just checking ("even to his trained eye").

[...]

"Aaah! Sugoi!!" Nodoka cheered. "I'm very proud of you, Ranko-, er,
Ranma-chan. You will begin training immediately." Both Genma and Ranma
winced, although for different reasons.

:j

[...]

"WHAT?!?!?! What was that?!" Skuld was instantly in Urd's face, mallet
armed and ready. Across the table Akane eyed the futuristic and shiny
hammer with no small amount of envy, and Nodoka was becoming
increasingly annoyed at yet another delay. Skuld confronted Ranma.
"WHAT did it say, again?!"

Uh, oh.  Mallet envy.

[...]

Nodoka put her face in her twitching hands. <I honor my ancestors. I
pay my respects. Why does this happen to ME?>

You call marrying Genma honoring us?!?  Our descendants will have
his lazy, gluttonous, cowardly blood!

Hmm...  An answer to the age-old question: What would happen if
girl-type Ranma got pregnant?  If it was a boy, he'd inherit male-
pattern baldness!

Get it?  Maternal grandfather?  Huh?  Huh?  Oh, nevermind.

[...]

"Oh! Ranma! Akane must've hit you pretty hard if you haven't reached
the ground, yet." Akane was suitably embarrassed for one second. "Let

:D

[...]

Nodoka turned to Kasumi as Ranma floated past behind them. "Child, as
glad as I am that your doctor friend found his way back to Nerima, you
are REALLY going to have to make a move and calm him down."

Kasumi turned questioning eyes to Nodoka. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"If you don't figure it out soon, I'm sure our new Goddess of Sex will
help you do something about it..."

[...]

Akane looked around in a mild panic, but Urd speared her with a look.
"Well?" A little put upon, Akane hesitantly gathered the sleeping
goddess up in her strong arms and felt a jolt of something pass into
her body. A battle raged across Akane's face, but it was over quickly.
Akane clutched Ranma tightly to her, and with a blissful smile, rocked
her back and forth. Ranma smiled and sighed, snuggling up even closer.

As she soothed the recovering Ranma, she shot a dirty look at Nabiki.
"Mine!"

Akane's bliss increased by an order of magnitude. The other women, save
a jealous and scowling Nabiki, had hearts in their eyes, and the
fathers had pulled out victory fans and were dancing a jig, repeating
the same phrase in a sing-song chant, "The Schools are gonna join, the
Schools are gonna join..."

School shouldn't be capitalized unless it's part of a proper noun
(e.g., School of Anything Goes Martial Arts).

[...]

Urd squawked and reflexively shot a sizable bolt of mana energy through
Soun's chi manifestation. A large hole appeared in the center of the
forehead, and the demon head's eyes crossed before it popped out of
existence. Soun stood there with a surprised look on his face.

Why do people pop Soun's head in fanfics?  For once, I'd like to see
the wound ooze blood, covering the demonic face and making him look
even MORE terrifying.

Also, I see Skuld as more prone to this squeaking and reflexively
blasting off magic (or miniature bombs).

[...]

"Hai!" Skuld chirped.

Glossary.  And don't translate it as "yes".

[...]

"Ranma," Genma corrected. Urd snarled and vented some of her
frustration by popping Genma with a small mana bolt. Genma's soiled
bandanna flew straight up off of his bald head.

Genma adjusted his glasses, which glinted in a most un-Genmalike
way.  "Madam, you need to find a more pro-social manner in which
to vent your hostilities."

"Have you considered martial arts?" he grinned.

[...]

"Eh?!" Retsuji shook his concentration loose and smoothed back his
hair. "What do *you* think? There's not a woman alive who can resist me
when I employ my full charm."

Mara softly raspberried him. "Right. Whatever. Just one thing, though."

"Hmmm?" Retsuji had resumed his redhead studies.

"She's not *just* a woman, anymore."

Actually, she was never *just* a woman.  ;)

[...]

People were becoming tired of the repetitive face-planting that the day
had brought. All wearily rose to glare at the buoyant Ranma as she

And they were a little curious as to what all that planting would grow...

[...]

Urd looked heavenward herself as she squeezed the already much-abused
goddess. "Oh, thank you, Kami-sama! This is a dream come true!" Urd
suddenly squeezed harder, mashing Ranma's face into her cleavage.
"Fresh and untouched! Ready for my instruction! OOOH-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOO!!"
Ranma went purple as blood began to leak from her nose, Akane's and
Nabiki's blood began to boil in jealousy, and one or two people
wondered where Kodachi was hiding.

This could be a Bad Thing.  At least for Ranma.
I'm sure the fanboys wouldn't mind though.  (ahem)

[...]

Akane leapt from her seat and tackled her fiance. "Oh, Ranma! You don't
know how much this means to me!"

"ACK!" Ranma found herself caught in yet another bone-crushing hug and
had nowhere to go... except up... several feet. Surprised, Akane let go

Aw, and here I was hoping he'd end up in some more cleavage.  :(
Clearly, Akane hasn't got this glomp thing mastered, yet.

and instinctively flipped and landed on the table, clipping Nabiki's
tea and soaking the scowling girl. Ranma jetted to an upper corner of
the room and wedged herself in as tightly as she could, glaring down at
her family and guests. Akane stood in the middle of teatime and watched
Ranma with a hurt expression.

Stood in the middle of teatime?

The hot tea turned out to be just the thing to shock Nabiki out of her
bedazzled state. She groaned and slapped her hand to her forehead.
<WHAT have I been THINKING?! Jeez, I was ready to do the redhead
ecchi!> Nabiki stood and wandered out of the room and upstairs,
mumbling to herself about weird magnets.

Add "ecchi" to your list.

Is this supposed to be "do the redhead ecchi!" or "do the
redhead.  Ecchi!"  (I've never seen the first form used.)

[...]

"Yessiree! Just got promoted! There I was. Nothing happenin'. Then
BOOM! I'm a Demon, Class II. HAHAHA!" The imp's laughter degenerated
into sniffles, giggles, and snorts. Mara put her hand on her forehead
and felt like weeping. Retsuji looked at the second-class demon with
disdain.

I really don't know anything about the doublet system, but taking a
hint from physics, is the opposite supposed to be equal?  Wouldn't it
be a demon, class 1?

I was kind of expecting a human for the position.  Again, with the
premise of equal and opposite.

[...]

"BOY!! How could you do this to your poor father?!" He put his fists up
to his head and clenched his eyes shut as tears squeezed out in a small
river. "The Saotome Anything Goes Special Shogi Tile Descending Sneak
Attack Ascension technique will never be perfected! It was the last and
most devastating techni... OOF!!"

Descending Ascension Technique?  In other words, go-nowhere do-nothing?

[...]

"Uh... Akane? What's..." With a jerk Ranma realized what Akane was
entranced with.

No sudden movements, now.  You could give her whiplash!

"GACK! HENTAI!!" Ranma crossed her arms over her breasts. "AKANE NO
BAKA!" she shot before spinning on her heel and stalking out into the
backyard.

More words: "Hentai", "no baka"

Akane's face fell. "Ranma?" she warbled. "Ranma-CHAN?!" Akane leapt to
her feet, scattering tea things all over the room, and hurried after
her iinazuke. "Don't leave me, Ranma-chan!"

First order of business:  teach Ranma the off-switch!
(All the more reason why Urd shouldn't be teaching Ranma.)

On the plus side, at least she didn't call him Ranma-sama...

[...]

Ranma turned around and saw Akane barreling towards her, arms
outstretched. "YAHHH!" Ranma took off, and a merry chase all around the

As the magical sex energies continued to affect Akane, she chirped,
"Airen!  Come to fiancee!  Akane not hurt you!  Much!"

[...]

With a pair of roundhouse kicks, Ranma and Akane managed to clear the
immediate attackers enough to allow Ranma to set for a chi attack as
her aura reached full intensity. <A straight Moko Takabisha won't work.
They're too spread out. Time to improvise, Saotome-style!> Ranma put
her fists together and thrust them over her head. She concentrated her
aura in a pattern around them.

"Akane! Grab hold of me an' hold on tight!" Akane enthusiastically
obliged.

"MOKO TAKABISHA REVISED: FLAMING FAN!!"

I admit it.  I'm prejudiced against new attacks.  Why didn't she do
(or even think about) a Hiryu Shoten Ha?  It should've been perfect,
what with the heat of lechery that the sex-fiends must put out...

[...]

The goddesses stumbled in their chanting as their eyes grew large. <No
troubles accessing mana, but we'll definitely have to teach her some
subtlety,> Urd thought.

S- Subtlety?  Who are you, and what have you done to the real Urd?!?

[...]

"Mara! I'll get you for this! Maraaaa..."

Uh, get her for what?  Leaving?  'Cause Retsuji did too.
I'd think he'd be PO'd at the *goddesses* for banishing him.

[...]

"I fear you may be correct, Oneesama." Bell fanned herself with one
hand while wiping perspiration with the other. Skuld just stood there,
breathing heavily and collecting her wits.

"Dammit, they're spilled all over the floor!
Eew!  This one's got panda fur on it!"

Ranma shook her head weakly. Belldandy placed a hand on Ranma's
forehead and closed her eyes for a second. "Ah!" She opened her eyes
and looked at Urd. "Oneesama, Ranma-chan has depleted her mana
reserves. Please see what her recharge method is."

I don't recall the recharge source in the original application.
Seems like it should have been there...

[...]

"If your that in need of stimulation, we do have some rather strong
tea," Nodoka suggested, slightly irritated.

"Not that any of us really need any more stimulation."
She glanced back down at her 'son' and sighed.

[...]

Urd looked at Ranma strangely. "It seems our new Goddess of Sex is just
one set of dualities after another. Coffee works for her like ice-cream
does for you and sake for me, but she can also get some small relief
from, uh, well..."

The cast leaned in.

"... heh heh, from, erm, ...tender hugs and kisses?"

No no!  They have to take her outside so Akane can grab her breast
and point at the sky.  OW!  [rubs head]  I'm not kidding!  This is
canon, people!

[...]

"Quite, Tendo." Genma sniffed the air. "Time for a game of shogi."

"Indeed."

The fathers walked into the tearoom and froze. Tears ran in rivers as
they stared at the destroyed shogi board.

"Never... In my life... Have I seen such destruction!
Who would do this?!  Who could do this to an innocent shogi board!"

[...]

Ranma looked at her mother with pleading eyes. "Mommmm!" she
complained, but Nodoka gave her a stern look.

"Whining is not very manly, Ranma."

"Neither is what (AH) Akane is doing (YIKES) under this blanket
(WHOA!).  Heydon'ttouchthat!"

[...]

Mara took one step and ran into the chest of a tall man. Surprised, she
tripped as she stepped back and fell on her rump. She looked up into a
face of noble bearing, and the formal martial arts attire and the
bokken resting across his shoulder lent a certain mystique to the
figure. Mara was speared and her heart fluttered as his dark, almost
black eyes focused on her and the man bent down to offer his hand.

I did NOT see this coming.  8|


Well, that was certainly entertaining!  I worry about poor Ranma
being stuck as a girl, but all the other elements good.  Fortunately,
your comments and the characterization of a jealous Akane and
Nabiki suggest this won't degenerate into a free-love fic where
everyone boinks Ranma and doesn't get the least bit possessive.

I pretty much suggested you add every Japanese word I saw to the
glossary.  If it's there, you might as well make it complete,
right?

On the surface of it, being a Goddess of Sex might seem like a good
way to always have a date, but I worry about the training it might
involve.  Specifically, wouldn't Ranma be required to know about ALL
aspects of sex?  I can see a series of lemon side-stories now:

Role reversal:  Ukyo
Domination/Submission:  Shampoo
S&M/bondage:  Kodachi
Menage-a-trois:  Rouge  ;) ^_^ (;
Older woman: Cologne
Oedipal:  uh...
Bestial:  Ryoga (bwee?)
Quickie:  Kuno (a-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!)

And of course the standard girl-girl and boy-boy side stories...

Okay, time to get my mind outta the gutter...
Keep up the good work,


Doug

Hey, I forgot
Auto-eroticism:  Teen Auto (the boy in the old US cartoon that
                            turned into a car when he got hot ;)

----
Douglas MacDougall  *  dougmacd@dougmacd.net  *  http://www.dougmacd.net/
"You were nicer when you were evil...  Cuter, too.  Definitely more sexy!"