David Johnston <rgorman@telusplanet.net> wrote:

Kodachi seems to be belittling her relationship with Ranma.  He was
*merely* helping her with the bet?  They only dated *once*?

Maybe "officially", but they've been together many other times.  This
makes it sound like Ranma is a non-romantic friend was just doing her
a favor one time, and there was nothing more to it than that.

That's because this Kodachi is smart and doesn't want the doctor to
think that she's obsessed and delusory on the subject of Ranma.

Right, exactly.

The shrill, maniacal laugh resonated through the air, chilling him to
the bone. "Ohohohohohohohohohoho!" Tonma reached for his gun, but was

I much prefer "lyrical" to maniacal.  ^o^  Melodious?  Terpsichorean?

grating?

That sounds good. Doug, the words you suggested would work if this were
still in Kotchi's POV, but here we've gone over to the officer's.

much too slow. A flurry of club blows rained down onto his head, making
a sound like popcorn bursting, and he slumped to the ground,
unconscious.

technical point:  Has Kodachi ever thrown her clubs?  I would assume
she'd use her ribbon, or throw a ball.

Yes.  Most notably, the "Attack of a Thousand Clubs", where she essentially
juggles her clubs off her opponents head.  

She's not really throwing them here; rather, she just jumped down next
to Tonma and whupped him with them.

Before Tanaka had even noticed her arm move, the Black Rose's ribbon
lashed out. Like a frog's tongue gobbling up an insect, it took hold of
his weapon and pulled it from his grasp, landing it deftly into
Abujima's hands.

Good imagery, up until the point when the "frog" doesn't gobble up the
insect, but gives it to Abujima.

Actually I think "snatching" or "snaring" would work better.  Frogs don't
gobble with their tongues.  

Yeah, one of these would work better. Will change.


Gary