Cat-Scratch Fever, the Bet. Expansion Set
v.2.0
by Gregg Sharp based on Rumiko Takahashi's
situations/characters.
why a further expansion of Cat Scratch? i
heard that Tagan-san was dropping this from
the continuation, hence the further expansion
here. Expansion Set stories are just Bet fics
where they're fleshed out a bit more, and
it's all meant for temporary amusement. Ain't
no Higher Meaning here, folks, just a tale of
two kitties. There is a definite chance of
one or more of these variant characters from
this story showing up in A Very Scary Bet,
and possibly other fanfics if someone wants
to use them.

stone provided by DragonBard
----------------------------------------
          "How about this timeline here?"
Toltiir indicated one dull grey strand that
turned black abruptly. An indication that the
portion of the timeline viewed turned dark
and nasty.

         "What's the divergence point?" The
smith looked curiously at it. He didn't want
to modify a timeline that actually turned out
happily.

         "Looks like its when that Tatewaki
Kuno fellow has gotten his hands on the
Wishbringer. A fourth class magical object
capable of granting Limited Wishes. It
certainly qualifies as divergent..."
------------------------------------------
     "Ranma, have you no shame?!" Akane slid
the door open, glaring at the "couple"
within. How far was he willing to go in order
to lose this curse anyway?

     Genma wept in the hallway. "You sadden
your father, boy..." Genma didn't add that it
was mainly because he wouldn't be able to use
the Wishbringer to end his own curse in a
similar manner.

     "A-ka-ka-kane Tendo," stammered Kuno.
Here he was with one of the two women that he
was pursuing, and lo- the other showed up! No
doubt consumed with jealousy that he should
lavish his attentions on the pigtailed girl.

     "What's SHE got to do with it?!" Ranma
looked up from where she was sitting. Ranma
was sure of it, a little bit longer, she'd
get that sword from him, and then be free of
the curse to turn into a girl!

     Kuno sighed, thinking how jealous Akane
was of the pigtailed girl. "What a pity that
my two loves cannot get along better. Fear
not, I shall date with you later."

     "You wish," said Akane, striking Kuno.

     "What an excellent idea," thought Kuno
as he landed.

     "Stay OUTTA this, Akane!"

     "Are you THAT desperate to stop being a
girl?!" Akane shouted in Ranma's face.

     "I wish that the pigtailed girl and
Akane Tendo would love me forever, forsaking
all their arguing and jealousy!" Kuno, still
prone on the floor raised the sword
Wishbringer above him.

     "Your wish is my command."
----------------------------------
     Toltiir blinked. "Well, I'm not the
expert on things like that, but let me give
that timeline my official 'Screwed Up Big
Time' stamp." He hadn't seen too many that
turned out worse than this one.

     There was the sound of several Ranma
fans being violently ill as the scene
continued. For their sake, it isn't detailed
here.

     "I can see why you would want to change
this one," Hephaestus remarked. "Look, boy
type Ranma isn't under the compulsion but
whenever he changes..."

     "I had no idea Tatewaki was into some of
that stuff. Let's do his slaves a favor and
get rid of THIS timeline, what change did you
want to make?"

     The Greek god of smithcraft chuckled.
"Personally? Personally I LIKE Susano-o's
entry over there. Sure, Ranma's dead, but
Shampoo gets Magni and I get a cute
okonomiyaki chef...(try having to deal with
Aphrodite for a few years without really
valuing traits like loyalty and intelligence)
but for the purposes of your 'BET', I'll have
to go with this juncture here."
--------------------------------
     Doctor Amano Miyabe was trying a new
route home, something he frequently did, when
he saw what appeared to be a feral child in a
gi. While there were many things one could
expect to see in Japan, feral children were
not on that list.

     He blinked as a slightly overweight man
came running after the child, and, his
curiosity piqued, the doctor followed.

 It was one of those cases where curiosity
saved the cat.
---------------------------------
     "Frankly, Mister Saotome, I'd be MUCH
happier if your son was no longer in your
custody. Putting your son through this sort
of torture is inexcusable. Since you HAVE
agreed to get him through treatment, I'm not
going through legal proceedings. We'll try a
few different types of treatment, see what's
most effective, and because we're catching it
so early, there is a good chance of
recovery."

     "But will he retain the Cat-fist?" Genma
frowned. If it weren't for the uniformed
police officers, he'd take the child and run.
Still, if the treatment could have Ranma use
the Cat-fist techniques at will instead of
only while insane, this could prove
beneficial after all.

     Doctor Miyabe's glasses gleamed
dangerously and a vein could be seen
throbbing on his forehead. "Excuse me. Do I
understand you to say that you value your son
learning this particular technique so much,
that you would rather he remain insane and
liable to regress to
an animalistic state at any time than take
the chance that the cure would remove said
technique?"

     "Well, when you put it THAT way." Genma
Saotome shut his mouth. He could always try
again if Ranma forgot the technique.
-------------------------------
     Ranma stretched and blinked as his
father went off about yet another training
ground. This one didn't look special at all,
being a number of bamboo poles stuck into a
number of springs. Ranma curled a lip. These
were obviously cold water springs, but the
presence of these mists indicated that there
were hot springs elsewhere.

     "Feh, if I need a bath, fatherrrrr, warm
waterrrr would be sooo nice," Ranma purred at
his father. Balancing exercises against HIM?
The old man wanted to lose, didn't he?

     "You very strange one, no, sir?" The
Jusenkyo Guide looked at Ranma, there was
something about the boy that just seemed to
suggest some not-quite-domesticated animal.
There was a sense of barely restrained wild
power and savagery present. Ranma actually
made the Guide nervous. "This place very
dangerous, nobody use now. Is more than one
hundred spring here, and every one have own
terrible tragic legend."

 "How about you tell us when we visit the hot
springs? Got anything to eat around here?"
Ranma was hopeful. Training was training but
a long hot soak and a good meal- now THAT
could get his enthusiasm up.

     "Ranma, follow me." Genma leapt to the
top of one of the poles. Ranma was a moment
later but a thousand times more graceful.

     "Oh Sirs! What you doing!" The Guide
watched as Ranma came to a stop over the
Spring Of Drowned Virtuous Man.

     "I won't go easy on you," Genma
promised. Like he ever did. He'd learned long
ago that his son was fully capable of making
kitty litter out of even excellent fighters.
WHEN the lazy boy could be motivated, that
is.

     Ranma grinned and reached within to
touch his feline nature, that spirit which
seemed to be a part of him yet also apart.
The Cat purred a little as it stirred to
life.

     The Guide watched as Genma and Ranma
launched towards each other. "Please Sir,
Very bad you fall in spring!"

     Genma landed in a spring with a mighty
splash as Ranma twisted past him in midleap,
moving with feline grace as the other Self
began manifesting.

     Ranma idly landed on the top of another
pole and began to clean his hand, bored
already.

     The panda caught him largely by
surprise, and he leapt back three sets of
poles. Grinning that the game was not over
yet, Ranma launched himself when the
realization penetrated that he was now
fighting a panda.

     The hesitation was enough, and Ranma
fell down.

     "OH NO!" The Guide yelled in anguish.
"Not 'Spring Of Drowned Tiger'! Terrible
tragic story of tiger who drown there, 12,500
year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take
body of..."

     The tiger moved out of the spring, black
fur dripping water, green eyes flashing with
the desire for VENGEANCE! It's mouth opened,
revealing LOTS of very sharp teeth to go with
the really big two that were out front.

     "...really big damn predator," finished
the Jusenkyo Guide at the same time that he
remembered that some Jusenkyo curse victims
went a little crazy upon being cursed. He
started sprinting for the imagined safety of
his cabin.

     "Urk?" The panda went dead still as it
saw the tiger looking at it. "Death,"
promised those green eyes. "Lots of hurt,"
promised those sharp white teeth. "Very bad
for YOU that I fall in spring," announced
those razor sharp claws as they extended with
an audible schnick!

     Genma realized that the predator looking
at him right now outmassed even a giant panda
by nearly double. He was also vaguely aware
of the Jusenkyo Guide's hut door being closed
and locked somewhere behind him. Genma turned
to flee.

     By the time that Genma woke up, he
realized that he had a large number of
bandages covering most of his body, had been
returned to human, and there was Ranma in
human form who looked VERY unhappy with him.
A vague memory of being batted around like a
ball of yarn by the kitty cat surfaced.

     "Crrrrrazy old man," Ranma said, getting
up and leaving his father behind.

     "Uhm." Well, Genma admitted to himself.
Maybe 'The Training Ground of Cursed Springs-
Jusenkyo' hadn't been a good idea after all.
---------------------------------
Eyecatch#1:
            T-chan is being lectured to by an
angry Akane and rolling his eyes. A moment
later he spits P-chan out of his mouth who
bounces off the Ranma 1/2 logo changing it to
read "Cat Scratch Fever." P-chan bounces off
screen followed by Akane chasing after.
            T-chan spits out a few bandanas
before grinning sheepishly at the camera.
---------------------------------
     "Ahhhgggghhhh," Nabiki backpeddled as a
HUGE cat came into the room, followed by a
panda a few moments later. Not that many
really noticed the panda when confronted by
the massive predator who was regarding the
occupants of the room with a curious look.
Everyone backed away, even Akane, as the
creature before them sniffed at the three
girls.

     Akane reached over, grabbed the edge of
the table, and brought the table down as hard
as she could over the beast's head while it
was examining a cringing Kasumi. The only
visible result was a rather large crack
appearing in the table at the point of
impact.

     The tiger glanced back at her with a
vaguely amused glance at Akane, then, quite
very deliberately, licked the face of the
eldest Tendo daughter.

     "Uhhhhgghhh," Akane managed.

     Kasumi started to faint, then looked
into the cat's eyes. "Oh my." She seemed to
be seeing something unexpected in those green
depths. Or maybe it was just the sort of
thing that a bird saw upon looking into the
eyes of a large and hungry cat.

     "You think it's tame?" Nabiki managed as
the welcome realization that she wasn't the
Lunch Special began to register. A sudden
image of herself on a plate with a side order
of fries was banished back to last night's
nightmare.

     The tiger stopped his current activity,
a deep rumble that bore some vague
resemblence to a purr while rubbing his cheek
against Kasumi's shoulder, to blink green
eyes at Nabiki. Nabiki went into the same
"bird looking into cat's eyes" freeze as she
realized that the cat didn't seem hungry, but
more amused. More to the point, she was
getting the impression that she was being
asked to take part in the joke, as opposed to
being the butt of it.

     "Uhm," Kasumi began, "would you mind
letting me go? I've got to fix supper soon."

     "It's a tiger, Kasumi, it can't..."
Nabiki ran out of words as the tiger backed
off of Kasumi, resuming the basso purring
noise as it rubbed against her one final
time. ...understand...?!"

     "Quick, Kasumi, run for it! I'll cover
you," Akane looked around. She needed
something heavier than the dining room table.
Martial arts background to the side, she was
WANTING a fully automatic high caliber
weapon.

     "No way," said Nabiki as something
clicked. "I've seen pictures of these but the
colors were all wrong. That's a smilodon!"

     "What's a smilodon?" Akane asked,
thinking that maybe she should get one of the
swords out, or a spear? It sounded familiar,
but who could concentrate on such things when
a big predator was about to make lunch meat
out of your family?

     Soun was still a terrified lump and
didn't answer.

     Kasumi brushed herself off, pleased that
the big kittycat hadn't shed on her, and
stood up. It *was* a big kitty cat, and a
guest, so she had duties."Oh my, Mister
Smilodon, would you like some milk?"

     "...but sabretoothed tigers are supposed
to be extinct," Nabiki managed as the big cat
nodded enthusiastically at Kasumi, then
followed her into the kitchen. "...they're
certainly not supposed to be..." Nabiki
fainted, her mind having just gone into
overload as she realized that the tiger had
just ANSWERED her big sister.

     The panda was waving around a sign that
read [He LIKES her, now our schools will be
joined.] Fortunately, or unfortunately
depending on your view, no one was paying
attention to the panda other than to note
that the tiger hadn't eaten the panda either
and the bear looked like a much more
plentiful food source than any of the humans
present.

     For his part, Ranma just wondered what
the big fuss was about. This one had smelled
WONDERFUL and was obviously the cook. The
short haired girl had REEKED to his sensitive
nose of some artificial scents that she used.
The youngest girl was all sweaty and had an
"angry" scent to her. The father smelled of
cigarettes, bleah. He'd obviously chosen to
approach the right
person now, because he was getting FOOD!

     Soun Tendo twitched, looking around the
corner as he watched his eldest daughter pour
a big saucer of milk for their houseguest.
Said houseguest butted her hip with his head,
purring in a deep bass thrum, before
beginning the task of lapping up the milk.

     "AH HA!" Akane had found a sufficiently
heavy object and came running up with her
heaviest dumb-bell, only to be confronted
with her elder sister scratching a VERY
contented looking 1300#+ tiger behind one
ear. An ear flicking on the tiger somehow
communicated to her: "I know where you are,
what you're planning, and I am NOT
concerned."

     Suddenly the dumb-bell didn't seem
nearly large or satisfying enough...
-----------------------------
     Akane was still shaking a little as she
prepared to use the furo. She'd grabbed a
naginata from the practice weapons, charged
into the kitchen to rescue her sister, and
found herself in just a little over her head.
Okay, a LOT over her head. Before she'd known
what was going on, she'd been disarmed,
knocked to the floor, pinned by this colossal
furry beast laying down on her and then it
had*licked* her! Probably tasting her to see
if she was worth eating. Kasumi had coaxed
the stupid thing off of her but she'd felt
thoroughly humiliated by the entire event.

     Not only had she been defeated, but the
stupid animal had treated her like she was an
unruly kitten or something. And *worse* had
been that while pinned and staring up into
those eyes when they'd been poised a few
inches away, Akane realized she had *felt*
like an uppity but helpless kitten.

     Akane slid the door open, deep in
thought, then stepped back as some guy walked
past her.

     The feelings she'd had, being held
helpless by that animal, knowing that if it
so chose, she'd lose face in a literal manner
was horrifying. That her sister Kasumi could
get the tiger to do almost anything she
wanted it to was another Deep Thought. How...

            Akane stopped as she lifted the
rinsing bucket. Her mind went into replay
mode. That had been a naked guy. A very well
built naked guy. A very well built naked guy
who'd walked past her. While she was naked.
In her own bathroom. He'd even nodded at her
with some cheshire cat grin as he moved past
her.

     Akane lowered the rinsing bucket as she
dropped the matter of large carnivorous
beasts for this new problem. She screamed.
----------------
     "AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!"

           Ranma blinked at the scream,
shrugged, and turned back to the two young
ladies. "Anyway, that's how it is. Sorry if
you were freaked out by it, but the change
from one form to another is triggered by cold
water and finding hot waterrr to change back
isn't that easy when you don't have any
hands, y'know?" He frowned slightly,
realizing he was getting stressed and
beginning to roll his "r"s again. A bad
habit, he knew.

          "Oh goodness gracious." Kasumi held
a hand in front of her face. "That's
terrible."

          "Yeah, well, could be worrrse. The
worst one, I think, is that 'Spring of
Drowned Carp' over there. Man, you get hit
with that one, you ain't going nowhere."
Ranma chuckled. "And ever since the Catfist
training and Doctor Miyabe's sessions, I've
had a little feline nature to me anyway."

           "This gets more interesting every
minute," quipped Nabiki. Still, wheels were
turning as she considered the possibilities.
Animal trainers made some heavy money, and
she could see herself as the tiger's
"trainer" or agent relatively easy.

          "Well, no problem, this isn't so
terrible after all." Soun patted the young
man on the shoulder, then backed off a little
at the look in the boy's eyes. He was a
little scary.

          "Huh?" Ranma said, reaching for a
rice cracker as that youngest girl went
running past the doorway with her dumb-bell.
Strange family.

          Soun blinked. "That _was_ my
youngest daughter Akane, she's sixteen. This
is my eldest
daughter Kasumi, she's nineteen. This is my
next youngest daughter, Nabiki, she's
seventeen. Pick any one you want, she'll be
your new fiancee!"

          "THERE YOU ARE!"

     Everyone looked over at the doorway
where Akane stood, holding a baseball bat in
one hand, and hurling a dumb-bell at the
strange boy who had dared to sneak into her
bathroom.

     Ranma was so surprised by this that he
didn't block it.

     "Oh dear," Kasumi picked up a glass of
water, considered briefly, then tossed it on
the unconscious boy. That she wanted to see
the transformation was at least part of the
reason.

     The tiger shook his head as he awoke,
then looked across the room at Akane. That
had HURT. Lips pulled back in a snarl that
showed lots of white teeth. Well, if she were
going to act like a kitten that needed to
learn some discipline, then she could be
treated as such.

     "Th-tha-that boy," Akane stammered, her
eyes getting large. "He saw me naked. He, I,
he's some sort of monster!"

     Genma nudged Soun. "I don't think Akane
is the wisest choice here." Genma's survival
instincts had become much more honed since
Ranma had started utilizing his feline
qualities. He didn't think that Ranma would
HURT Akane, but best not to seek too much
conflict.

     "Too bad. Well, that still leaves Nabiki
and Kasumi." Soun had thought that any of his
daughters really needed someone. Kasumi
needed a life beyond the house. Nabiki needed
to fixate on something besides money. Akane
needed to be able to open up and relate to
someone. Still, Soun could see where this
young man's casual laid-back manner could
either open Nabiki's cold
mercenary heart or get Kasumi to consider
opening her horizons a little more.

     Ranma had just started to go over and
show Akane what he thought about being called
a monster when he felt this indescribably
delicious sensation.

     "There, there, T-chan," Kasumi scratched
the tiger behind one ear, noting the rumbling
purr and closing eyes as the tiger began to
lean into her hands. "I'm sure Akane didn't
mean to be so mean to you. You're a good
T-chan, aren't you?"

           Nabiki smirked at the obvious
pleasure showing on the tiger's face, and
began stroking the fur down along the spine
of the big cat. "Akane can be mean and
violent, but she doesn't mean anything by it,
Ranma."

     "Urrrrrrrrrrr," said T-chan, who would
just about agree to anything at that point.
Dinner would be ready soon, he was being
scratched and petted. He could come in out of
the rain.Yes, this wasn't a bad place after
all.

     "'T-chan'?" Akane looked incredulous and
hefted the bat. She was ready for him this
time.

     Kasumi nodded. "T for tiger and chan for
cute!"

     Nabiki privately disagreed with calling
the tiger cute. Handsome perhaps. Striking or
impressive, certainly. A sudden image of
little "UFO Catcher" style dolls of T-chan
came to mind and she grinned. Cute.
Merchandising. This could be interesting.
"Well, Daddy. I'd say that Ranma here
couldn't choose one of us right now. He can't
even talk in this form."

     "Urrrr." Heck, he'd take both of  em.
Not as fiancees, maybe, but Ranma considered
the two of these girls to be wonderful
material as friends. Oooo, especially with
Nabiki finding that spot right over the hips.
"Urrrrrrrrr!"

     Akane looked at her two sisters, the
pervert/monster, the two fathers and came to
an
inescapable conclusion. "You're all sick."

     "Growl," replied T-chan, not
particularly liking the name but deciding to
tolerate it for the moment at least.

     "I'll get you some hot water," said
Nabiki after a few minutes when it became
obvious that Kasumi wasn't going to offer
anything of the sort.

     "Oh my," Kasumi realized that the ruff
of fur over T-chan's breastbone was another
of those areas where a little scratching
produced a nearly overwhelming reaction.

     Nabiki poured the hot water on T-chan,
and Ranma stood up.

     "What do you mean calling me a pervert!"
Ranma demanded of Akane. "AND what do you
mean a monster! It's a curse!"

 "You looked at me in the bathroom, you
lech!"

 "Hold it! YOU walked in on ME!"

 "It's different when a girl looks at a boy!
Lech! Peeping Tom! Pervert! AND you turn into
a monster! That makes you a pervert AND a
monster!"

 "They're already a perfect couple," mused
Soun aloud, proving that he had some pretty
weird ideas about relationships.

 "Whatta ya mean, couple?" Ranma rounded on
the two. "Look, I admit that turning into a
tiger is somethin' I can live with until we
find a cure, but she's calling me a monster
for crying out loud. AND a pervert. Give me
one reason I shouldn't just leave here and go
back to China, and you know I can do it too."

 Genma was under no illusions there. If Ranma
decided to leave, there wasn't much that
could hold him down. Rescue came from an
unexpected source.

 "Please forgive my sister. She's a very
sweet girl, if a violent maniac."

 "Oh GOOD, Kasumi. That makes a LOT of
sense." Nabiki sighed. "The question is how
are we going to feed you if you stay, I'd say
that your tiger form probably can sock away a
month's worth of food at a gulp."

 "Well, if I eat in human form..." Ranma
started to think. "I get by on a lot less
food. But I've noticed I start feeling kinda
weak if I don't eat in tiger form every so
often. I could go on training trips out into
the wilderness every so often. A deer or two
ought to do me for meals then."

 "Camping?" Nabiki thought about it. It had
been quite awhile since they'd done anything
like that. Ever since Akane had gotten lost
at Ryugenzawa, in fact.

 Kasumi smiled. Neither she nor Nabiki
particularly liked "roughing it" but an image
came to mind. Her in her tent, having just
used a little bit of cold water to change her
companion into a great big warm body that
could be snuggled against without it being
improper. She could have her own pet, T-chan,
without having to go through many of the
problems normally associated
with pet ownership.

 "Actually, Ranma, if you wouldn't mind,"
Nabiki said as if just thinking about this.
"I might be able to find a few ways where we
can make enough money from your curse so that
you could pay rent and cover those food
bills."

 "Nabiki, Ranma and his father are guests."
Soun's voice was quiet but carried with it a
strong disapproval.

 "It's okay, Mister Tendo." Ranma decided to
ignore the one girl who was back to glaring
at him.  He'd rather not bother with
hostility. "IF I stay here, then I ought to
at least cover my expenses, I s'pose.
What'cha got in mind?"

 "I'll think about it, Ranma, okay?"

 "HEY! Do you expect me to stay under the
same roof as that... that..."

 "You're overreacting, Akane," Nabiki rolled
her eyes. "Just because he's a guy. What'd he
do, leer at you? Make a pass?"

 "Well, no," Akane admitted. "In fact he, er,
kinda actdlkeheddn'trllyntice."

 "I'm sorry, Akane, I didn't catch that."

 "He acted like he didn't really notice,"
Akane grumbled and tried to look elsewhere.

 "Oh my. That's terrible." Kasumi sounded
sympathetic.

 "Huh?" Ranma didn't understand this. How
could not looking at this angry tomboy be
terrible?

 Nabiki suppressed a grin. She'd been ignored
for so long, at school all the boys wanted
the little princess. Kuno overhearing Akane
complain about the lack of suitable sparring
partners had sparked the morning battles,
proving that even good things often went bad.
Now here was someone who just plain wasn't
interested in Akane, and who COULD
potentially be interested in herself. 50-50
odds on it, and she'd placed bets on odds
like that before.

 The discussion continued but Nabiki didn't
pay much attention, withdrawing into herself
in order to consider the possibilities here.
The guy was mainly a dumb jock, that's all.
Just kind of laid back most of the time,
though he could get VERY nasty if angry, or
all cute and fuzzy when he wanted to be
playful. She could find the right buttons to
push and get his loyalty in very short order.
So far he'd acted VERY feline, even in human
form he had mannerisms that weren't out of
place on his feline form. A pattern started
to form in her mind.

     Ranma could make Nabiki a LOT of money
with his cursed form. If she walked one path,
she  could make a lot of money off his curse
by ruthlessly exploiting and manipulating
him. Animal trainers and their acts made BIG
money. Not to mention what kind of funds she
could pull in to various paleontology groups.
If she trapped him away from hot water, how
would anyone know that the tiger wasn't
really a tiger?

     A pure black sabre-tooth, green eyes
glinting, white teeth gleaming. Used as a
symbol for a product, the ad agencies could
fork over big bucks for an image that
powerful. Nabiki thought of the possibilities
for one of those off-road vehicles, call it
the Sabretooth or something like that. Show
Ranma's cursed form leaping and running
through the forest. Fast, powerful, capable
of handling anything that nature threw
against it.

 Nabiki idly noted that Akane was yelling at
Ranma again, returning to the argument that
seeing her in the nude was equal to him being
a pervert and that he turned into something
big and dangerous meant that he was a
monster. Ranma started arguing back until
Akane splashed him with cold water, giving
her the last word. Nabiki thought it likely
that Akane was just feeling
flustered, upset, and had just had her pride
dented. EVERYONE knew what had happened in
the kitchen. He hadn't taken Akane seriously
as a fighter at all. Not that he seemed to
take much of *anything* seriously.

     The REAL problem, Nabiki decided, was to
go for short-term profit and ruin any chance
of a friendship OR put herself in as the
fiancee of choice and as the Agent, make
large amounts of money off her to-be-husband
gradually and with a bit more work?

     She glanced at where Kasumi had just
announced that she needed some things at the
market. Maybe some fresh cut bamboo for the
panda. Extra food was mandated with the tiger
in residence. T-chan somehow got underneath
her then stood, causing her to grip him as if
she were riding a horse.

     The tiger then took Kasumi on a ride to
the market. Nabiki blinked as she realized
Kasumi's squeal had NOT been the expected
burst of terror.

 Nabiki and the others sprinted to the street
to watch the big cat and big sister go down
the street at a high rate of speed, bounding
over obstacles.

     Sweet, innocent, housewifely big sister
Kasumi was holding tight as the tiger RAN.
The sound that Nabiki could hear wafting back
from the two was ...laughter?!?

     What do you do when a tiger bigger than
most Japanese cars decides it's a good
evening for a run? Nabiki blinked then
answered herself. You get the heck out of its
way...

     Plan C it is, Nabiki decided. Get Kasumi
to marry Ranma, then be the
agent/sister-in-law who kept those huge sums
of money coming in.

     Though if big sister didn't play her
cards right, then Nabiki could move in to the
vacancy. She found herself hoping that Kasumi
DID fumble this particular ball.
----------------------------------
     Kuno looked at the beast standing next
to Akane Tendo and wanted a bigger bokken. Or
a daikyu. Or live steel. "Akane Tendo! I
shall save you!"

     T-chan thought this guy HAD to be
joking,right? A sound thwack from the bokken
impacting his skull convinced the
martial-artist-tiger that this guy didn't
have a clue.

     A casual swipe turned the bokken into
thin slices of wood. The second swipe had
retracted claws but enough force to knock the
kendoist back twelve feet.

     Ranma had already been having a poor
day. Getting splashed on the way to school,
growling at the little old lady who'd
splashed him, only to have the obviously
senile old woman start thwacking him with a
rolled up newspaper and telling him that he
was a "bad doggie." T-chan's green eyes
glittered as they swept the assembled throng,
causing the crowd that usually attacked Akane
Tendo in the morning to decide they had
business ELSEWHERE!

  "HEY! That was MY fight!" Akane grumbled.
Not that she really wanted to fight all those
perverts but she hated this weirdo butting
in. Now people would think that SHE was weird
for being associated with him.

     Ranma sighed. Why did he have to go to
school anyway? He just wanted a nap, or to
chase some birds or something. Or see what
Kasumi had in the oven. He thought he'd
smelled barbeque sauce simmering on the stove
before they'd left. He licked his chops.

     Unfortunately he was looking directly at
Tatewaki Kuno when he did that. The Blue
Thunder's life passed before his eyes. (He
tuned it out halfway through.) Nonetheless,
Kuno was prepared to go out with a fight. It
was the samurai way. Only Kuno watched
instead as Akane and the tiger both went into
the school, the tiger growling softly as it
did so.

     Odd, the way the growl was pitched,it
sounded similar to the way someone mutters
under their breath.

     "Kuno!"

     Tatewaki Kuno looked up to see Nabiki
Tendo leaning out of one of the windows.
"That's my sister Kasumi's pet, you really
shouldn't try to injure it."

     "Ah," Kuno smiled. "A pet to the sister
to Akane Tendo? Well then, I shall withhold
my righteous anger until later." Besides he
had to take care of pressing business now.

     The Blue Thunder went to change clothes
before class. Lucky he kept a change of
underwear in there.
------------------------------
 The door to the classroom slammed open.
"RANMA SAOTOME! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!"

 The class looked up as an enraged kendoist
stood in the doorway, once again wearing his
kendo garb.

 "YOU ANIMAL! How dare you engage yourself to
Kasumi Tendo as a ruse to pursue the fair
Akane?!"

 Ranma blinked. "Huh?" He frowned, realizing
he was saying that a lot lately. Why would he
be pursuing Akane anyway?

 "I KNEW IT! You PERVERT!" Just another guy
trying to get inside her panties, Akane had
KNOWN it all along. This was part of the
reason she hated boys, they were so sneaky
and couldn't take a hint and wouldn't leave
her alone.

 Ranma blinked again. "Say what?!" Ranma
dodged the bokken strike that sliced his desk
in half. "This is no place for a fight, Kuno.
If you want to fight, follow me!"

 "And so I shall!" Kuno watched Ranma tumble
overhead then start into a lope once he hit
the hallway. Kuno followed, though it
penetrated that his opponent seemed to have
an oddly fluid stride that suggested one who
could run for hours before slowing.

 "This is GREAT!" Sukotto exclaimed, leading
the rest of the class in the chase just
behind Akane.

 "Oooo!" Mio exclaimed nearby. "And the
winner gets to date Akane!"

 Unnoticed by anyone, Ranma and Akane both
made faces at that comment.

 "Don't run in the hall!"

 "Yes, Coach!"

 Ranma saw an open window and smirked.
"Here's a shortcut, follow me!" He leapt out
the window with uncanny grace.

 "Fear not!" Kuno exclaimed, jumping out with
somewhat less grace.

 "Hey," yelled Coach Kumida. "We're on the
Third Floor!"

 "No problem," smirked Ranma.

 "Ak!" Kuno summed up his own opinion of the
situation.

 "IDIOT!" Akane said from her position at the
window.

 Sukotto turned to Sanjuro. "Boy, lucky
there's a pool there."

 "Lucky he says. Oh well," grumbled Ranma and
reached for the Cat. He snapped his body into
a roll and twist, and touched down on the
side of the pool, perfectly dry. He stood up,
arms proudly held out. "Ta da!"

 Kuno's splash sent water everywhere.

 Everyone stared at the reappearance of the
tiger that had accompanied Akane earlier.

 "Cool, a werewolf!" Sukotto stared down at
the big, wet, creature that was apparently
beseeching the Heavens with a "why me?" look.

 "Funniest looking werewolf I ever saw."

 "And how many werewolves have you seen? Not
counting the movies, they always get
proportions and stuff wrong."

 "Well..."

 "People, people, if you want answers, you
KNOW who to go to." Nabiki smiled at the
crowd. "Five hundred yen."

 Three hours later, Ranma was getting so
tired of getting splashed with different
temperatures of water that he was ready to
bite the next idiot who thought they just HAD
to see the transformation up close.

 As if on cue, another splash of cold water
occurred and T-chan closed his eyes, counted
to three and turned to give someone a
thorough chewing out.

 "Oh, he IS SO CUTE!"

 T-chan blinked and regarded the small group
of girls with a puzzled expression. 'Cute'?

 "Oooh. I bet you're hungry. Hey, I've got an
extra pork bun!"

 "Oh wow! Hey, you suppose this cutlet
sandwich..."

 "I got some of this mystery meatloaf? You
suppose he can eat that?"

 "I don't think it's meant for HUMAN
consumption..."

 T-chan watched as the table in front of him
was being piled high with food. Maybe this
wasn't entirely bad, after all.

 Kuno stared from across the cafeteria. A
werewolf? Kasumi Tendo had a werewolf for a
pet? This foul cur Saotome would pay for
using an innocent girl's desire for a pet to
get close to the fair flower Akane Tendo. But
where was the Blue Thunder to get a silver
bullet in Japan?
------------------------------
much later:
     "Water!" yelled one of the onlookers.
"They've cracked the very earth!"

     "Even worse! It's the water fountain!"

     Ryouga held the umbrella to block the
spraying water, then looked to where his
opponent was landing.

     The low growl being emitted by the ton
of Pleistocene killing machine in front of
him was causing water to dance.

     Green eyes flashed and a single point of
light seemed to dance on one of the long
white fangs hanging down from the cat's jaws.

     "w-w-wait a sec." Ryouga looked at the
monster coming his way. It made the giant
boar he'd faced earlier look about as
offensive as a puppy dog. "Where's....
Ranma?"

     The tiger snarled, somehow communicating
something like: "your move, d' you feel
lucky, punk?"

     "Ra..Ra...Ranma?"

     The tiger didn't answer, merely standing
ready.

     "It's not fair! Do you call that a
curse?" Ryouga began pulling bandanas off,
each one revealing another one on underneath.
"Why couldn't you have a curse that makes you
helpless?!"

     Akane turned, "I'll get some hot water!
You can't fight him like that, you'll kill
him!"

     "Akane, no!" Nabiki yelled from the tree
she was crouched behind.

     <SNAG!> A black blur moved along the
ground, making leaps that a real sabretooth
would have envied. In its mouth...

     "PUT ME DOWN! YOU ANIMAL! YOU BEAST! DO
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UNDIGNIFIED THIS
LOOKS!"

     Gently dropping Akane on the roof, Ranma
leapt back down and sprinted back to where
he'd last seen Ryouga. Remembering Nabiki's
words about needlessly insulting her younger
sister, Ranma avoided his usual sight gag
about having a bad taste in his mouth.

     Nabiki lowered her camera. She doubted
that Ranma had even realized that carrying
Akane like that had given a large section of
the audience a quick glimpse of her panties.
She wondered how much Kuno would pay for
THESE shots.
----------------------------
     "C'mon, Ranma, fight me for real!" Akane
looked down at the sabretooth snoozing in the
dojo and wondered how she could get him to
spar with her. She really needed to work out
some aggression right now. She'd splash him
with hot water but the hot water heater
seemed to be broken again. Strange how that
kept happening.

     "Zzzzzzzzzzzz." T-chan's legs kicked out
as his dream self chased a butterfly.

     "Don't fake it, Ranma, I know you're
awake."

     "Zzzzzzzzzzzz." He didn't particularly
want to catch that butterfly, it was the
chase that was important.

     Akane leaned over the sleeping tiger.
How to wake him up. Well, he DID have an
appetite. "Oh look, Kasumi's made cookies..."

     <WHAM!> The tiger was out and running
before he'd even fully woken up. Ears flicked
back and forth as he sniffed the air.
Cookies? Even barbarian martial artist
sabretooth tigers liked chocolate chip
cookies.

     Disappointed, Ranma let his tail droop.
It had just been a dream. Ranma moved off to
sulk.

     Behind him, Akane was lying on the
floor, entertained by all the little birdies
flying around and around her head. Pretty
birdies...
----------------
     <click-whirrr>"Aw, don't they make a
cute couple," Nabiki said to her sister as
she circled the two sleeping figures.
<click-whirrr><click-whirrr>

     "Nabiki, it's just not right..." Akane
shook her head. Obviously Kasumi had just
fallen asleep there next to the tiger, and
was now laying half-on, half-off of Ranma's
tiger form. It just struck her as being wrong
to let this go on. After all, Ranma could
roll over or something and crush Kasumi or
impale her on one of those long fangs.

     From the tooth-rattlingly deep rumble
from the tiger, he was content. From the
peaceful expression on Kasumi's face she
rather enjoyed a quick nap on a thick fur
blanket. Akane wondered about that mysterious
little smile, but wasn't sure she wanted to
know.

     Nabiki was grinning. Oh yeah, this would
be a part of a professional photo layout.
"The Lady & The Tiger" or "Beauty & The
Beast" or something like that. Happy little
yen signs floated
past Nabiki as she tried to get a variety of
angles.
<click-whirrr><click-whirrr><click-whirrr>
With some of the other pictures she'd gotten
of the couple (during one of her frequent
sabotages of the hot water heater to make
sure there'd be a tiger in the tank,er,
house) this could be a truly interesting
pictorial worthy of international
publication.

 The contrasts alone were fascinating.
Kasumi's pale skin against the black fur. The
simple housedress and the gleam of ivory
fangs.

     An ear flicked. A flash of green eye
tracked Nabiki briefly. He couldn't move or
he'd disturb Kasumi, and for some reason that
was just not something he wanted to do.He
told himself it was because she was nice to
him, he would tolerate this indignity. Yeah,
that was it. Of course, if she ever saw him
as something besides her pet T-chan, he'd be
able to get rather more affectionate. Somehow
if he showed up uncursed, she ended up
accidently splashing him within an hour.

     "Kasumi, this isn't proper behavior,"
Akane said in a normal tone of voice, instead
of the previous whispering.

     Kasumi stirred.

     Nabiki and "T-chan" both glared at
Akane.

     "Oh, I need to get dinner ready." Kasumi
scratched her T-chan behind one ear briefly
before getting up to go wash up.

     The tiger returned to glaring at Akane.
Nabiki merely muttered something under her
breath and went off to wait for a more
opportune time.
-----------------
     T-chan was snoozing lightly on the roof
when a gymnast almost tripped over him.
Looking up, he saw the Black Rose for the
first time.

     Kodachi wondered what this odd black
lump was, on the Tendo roof, when it abruptly
unfolded itself and stood before her.

     "Ohohoho... oh dear. Uhm. Nice kitty?"
Kodachi's pony tail was sticking straight up.
Not that she was concerned about this, oh no.
"I DO have to admire your coloration... Yet I
must now attend to the problem of Akane
Tendo."

 "Feh!" The tiger sat, yawned (displaying an
impressive range of sharp cutlery), and
seemed to think for a moment. Some girl
carrying a large mallet was going after
Akane? His first impulse was to chase her
off, but every time he interfered in one of
Akane's fights she got mad at him. Nah, it
was probably something that violent girl had
brought on herself anyway.

 Seeing the tiger lay back down, Kodachi
noted NOT to come back this way and proceeded
with her mission. Just as soon as the
butterflies in her stomach settled down.

 A few minutes later, T-chan noted the
departure of the gymnast, followed shortly
thereafter by Akane calling for Kasumi as
Akane's room was filled with black rose
petals.

 "Feh!" T-chan repeated. He hadn't realized
that the battle of the mallet wielding women
would make more work for Kasumi. He'd have to
remember that next time he saw the woman.
-----------------------
     "Roguespierre! Roguespierre!"

     T-chan/Ranma turned a long-suffering
gaze to Akane and clearly was asking "Why
me?"

     "Umf, umf," Azusa Shiratori kept trying
to pick him up and carry him off. She needed
a forklift. "C'mon, Roguespierre, Azusa's
gonna take you home."

     Ears flicked back. It was clearly a
"yeah, right, what kind of drugs are you on?"
look.

     "What a charming pet you have here,"
Mikado came sliding up next to Akane.

     Ranma snorted, then went off to find
P-chan. Someone would have to tell him that
his girlfriend was getting hit on by this
Mikado creep. Not that Ryouga had told Akane
he was her pet P-chan, but Ranma was
anticipating the day with pleasure. Where the
girl who called him a Beast (among other
things) found out she'd been sleeping with a
BOY.

     Though everytime P-chan tried to spend
the night with Nabiki or Kasumi "to protect
them", it became difficult not to bat P-chan
around the yard a few times.

 In a way, Ranma was glad he was in his
cursed form now. His big, wide, paws made
gripping the ice fairly easy, and he'd never
seen the appeal of ice skating. Ice cream
yes. Ice skating no. Feh. He hoped Kasumi
would show up soon. SHE would at least offer
to share some hot chocolate.

     And if this guy tried making the moves
on Kasumi, well, he'd make an interesting
scratching post.
-----------------------------------
 "You stupid MONSTER!"

 "HEY!" Ranma bared teeth at the girl. "How
was *I* supposed to know? I thought you
werrre drowning!"

 "So you jump into the water and try to haul
me out?! What did you think would happen! And
that was a NEW bathing suit!"

 "Prrretty damn flimsy material, if you ask
me. I..." <SPLASH!>

 Akane lowered the bucket. "Shut up, Ranma! I
don't want to hear any of your stupid
excuses! And that rolling r crap is driving
me nuts."

 T-chan glared at her for a moment, then
started forward. He quickly backed Akane up
against a wall.

 Akane eyed the mouthful of sharp teeth
grinning at her. "Ranma! You don't have the
guts! If you do ANYTHING to me, you know
what'll happen!"

 T-chan's tongue came out. Starting at the
chin, he licked up Akane's face, ending with
her bangs lifted almost straight up. When he
retracted his tongue, the bangs remained in
place.

 "ACK! PHTHTHHHTH! Cat germs! AhhhhhhhH!
Doctor Tofu! I've got cat germs! Somebody get
some antiseptic. Akkkk! Pew! ICky!"

 T-chan snickered a little as he leapt over
the wall. T-chan Special Attack: Washcloth
Tongue Attack!
----------------------------
 "HE'S LAZY! HE'S GREEDY! HE'S SNEAKY!"

 "Yeah," said Nabiki, agreeing with her
sister but not seeing what the problem was.
"You still haven't said why you hate Ranma so
much."

 "He's constantly eating," Akane stopped as
she stared at the rice cracker in Nabiki's
hand. "Uhm, he's so catlike even when he's
not..."

 Nabiki blinked and nibbled at her cracker.
"Go on."

 "He's got this ...really irritating
smirk..." Akane's voice kept trailing off and
she was now staring at Nabiki's usual smirk.
Oh dear.

 "Yes?"

 "Smug. Self-centered. Uhm, er." Akane hadn't
realized how similar Ranma and Nabiki were
until now. Ah, here we go. "He doesn't take
anything seriously!"

 "So he likes to get playful? Really, Akane,
I was hoping you weren't just holding that
first impression against him still."
-----------------------------------
 "Ohohohoho," Kodachi laughed, using typical
Crazed Noblewoman laugh #4. "You shall not
interrupt my vengeance upon Akane this time,
tiger!"

 T-chan snarled.

 "This is *MY* fight, Ranma. STAY OUT OF IT!"

 Nabiki watched from the sidelines as Kodachi
threw a large bag of something, but not at
Akane. Instead she threw it at Ranma/T-chan's
feet.

 T-chan warily poked it, and when it didn't
explode, started sniffing.

 "Uh oh," said Nabiki as she began
interpreting the odd expression coming over
the big cat. "That's not what I think it is,
is it?"

 "Now that your 'guardian beast' is
neutralized, Miss Tendo, we can commence our
battle."

 "Meeple!" T-chan exclaimed, or something
that vaguely sounded like that.

 "AKANE! RUN!" Nabiki started looking for
cover. The sound of Kasumi locking and
barring the doors to the house was quite
audible.

 "Don't worry, I can take her," Akane made a
"muscle" gesture.

 Nabiki found an open window. "AKANE! THAT
WAS CATNIP! Remember what happened when
Kasumi gave him that catnip mouse?"

 Akane stopped and turned pale. If the amount
of catnip had *anything* to do with the
degree of reaction. "Later Kodachi. Only a
fool fights in a burning house."

 "Mrrrrrrooowwwwwww?!"

 Shampoo hopped into view. "What going on? Is
something wrong with airen?"

 "Mrrruuuuuuurrrrrowwww!"

 Akane found herself plucked out of her
mid-dive to safety through the window. Her
pleading, panicked, eyes briefly met
Nabiki's. "RANMA! NO! DON'T!"

 Kodachi watched her opponent being carried
around by the scruff of the neck and
generally being treated like a ball of yarn.
"Well, I never expected..."

 T-chan noted the presence of another
playmate. Could there be more? Oh joy!

 Nabiki waited a few minutes, then snuck a
few quick pictures. T-chan kept rounding up
his "kittens" and grooming them. Akane would
pay good money to have these pictures not
shown, but Nabiki suspected the Kodachi and
Shampoo shots would more than dwarf those
sums.
----------------------------------
     Ranma was in boy form again, though deep
in thought. Kasumi AND Nabiki seemed to
prefer his cursed form, which he didn't
really mind that much, but it made a lot of
things difficult.

     Akane didn't seem to want much to do
with him in either form. She kept calling him
an animal, a beast, and other things. Pfeh,
like he could help it when he'd grabbed her
school uniform in his teeth, then jumped over
that fool Kuno.

     How was he supposed to know that it was
an old uniform? How was he supposed to know
that it would come apart under the strain?
How was he to know that she had some sort of
nudity hangup? Such an uptight girl... Pfeh.

     That Doctor Tofu guy, he seemed to have
something for Kasumi, but can you trust a guy
that falls apart like that? Putting his
feline instincts away for a moment (more
difficult than it sounded), did he want to
stand in the way of these two getting
together? Could this Doctor Tofu make her
happier than he could?

     Nabiki, well, she had a certain catty
aspect to her. No doubt she would make an
interesting mate, and he'd smelled her
excitement on more than one occasion when
there'd been a fight or when he'd protected
her. She just wasn't into snuggling though,
or very affectionate. Ranma's own feline side
was quite openly affectionate.

     Now this amazon girl had shown up, and
just because he'd beaten her in a fight, she
was ready to marry him. Except that someone
else wanted to marry HER, and that person had
now kidnapped Kasumi.

     He'd given Doctor Tofu a half hour lead.
This would decide him. If Doctor Tofu was
able to rescue Kasumi, then he'd simply
choose someone else. The next best cook (an
important consideration from Ranma's point of
view) was Shampoo, then Nabiki.

     Ranma checked the time. The half hour
was up. Time to go and see. Of course, if
Kasumi was harmed, he'd have to find this
"Mousse" guy and shred him. Ranma just  hoped
he wouldn't get tagged with water, he wanted
to be able to come to the rescue in his
uncursed form for once.
------Mimir's Well--------------
 "So Kasumi is rescued by Doctor Tofu?" Skuld
sat back and watched curiously. "Which means
that Ranma lets this be a Kasumi+Tofu
timeline and backs off on the eldest Tendo.
How does _she_ feel about that?"

 Aphrodite sneered. "The girl doesn't even
know of the drama taking place around her.
Ranma remains T-chan, her big fuzzy pet as
far as she's concerned. Well, *I* have a
curious point to address. What of that pizza
slut you like?"

 "Oh, Ukyou? Pretty standard introduction, I
think." Hephaestus ignored the jibe and
gestured causing another section of timeframe
to come into view. "Up until *here*."
--------------------------------
 "He'd always have one hot n' ready for
me..." Ranma stopped and sniffed again, his
explanation to Shampoo momentarily
interrupted. He frowned. "Okay, so maybe
you're *not* my old buddy Okonomiyaki
Ucchan."

 Ukyou stopped the upswing on the spatula.
"Whatta ya mean by *that* crack?"

 "The Ukyou *I* remember was a boy." Ranma's
eyes flicked over to the spatula wielding boy
briefly and he considered the other. "Unless
you went to Jusenkyo too, you're a girl."

 Ukyou snarled. "Care to explain that?"

 "How can Ranma tell? Ukyou look like boy to
me. Ah, that right, Ranma tell by scent!"

 "Huh?"
----Mimir's Well---------------
 "Huh?"

 "Even now he's running the Neko at a 10%
level, that includes the attentuated senses
that his cat-self is feeding him information
on." Hephaestus looked a little smug.
--------------------------------
 "You broke your promise, and left me
behind." Ukyou growled with a fist clenched.

 "Ukyou wanted to learn Anything Goes style
and follow Ranma and father?" Shampoo nodded
as she puzzled it out. It might not be
accurate but it sounded good to her. "Ukyou
must be very dedicated martial artist!"

 "Uhm, thanks." Ukyou wasn't entirely sure
what was going on. A thought started
occurring to her. He thought that she'd been
a guy? His old buddy Ucchan? He didn't seem
*nearly* clever enough to be pulling off a
scam. "Hey? You mean you don't know?"

 "Just as well you didn't come with us,
Ucchan," Ranma kicked his father. "If you
had, he probably would have trained *you* in
the Nekoken and dragged you off to Jusenkyo
as well."

 "Huh?" Ukyou repeated. "What's that?"

 Akane decided to be helpful. "You obviously
don't know Ranma. Since the Catfist training
at least, he's more cat than man."

 "HEY!" Ranma glared.

 "That was a compliment," pointed out the
boy-hater.

 "Oh yeah. Thanks Akane." Ranma shrugged.

 "More cat than man?" Ukyou blinked. What
were they trying to pull?

 "Shampoo show." A little cold water, and
T-chan was now glaring at Shampoo. "Shampoo
sorry, airen, but friend need to know how
close she come to getting own curse, yes?"

 Ukyou's eyes bugged at the sight of a
grumbling tiger replacing her target of
vengeance.
------Mimir's Well--------------
 "All this is well and good," said Ares with
a diffident wave. "But a hero is measured by
his enemies, is he not? Measured against a
mere pig and a duck, your tiger is merely a
limp-wristed pooftah!"

 "Pot. Kettle. Apparent reflectivity index."
Hephaestus grumbled. "You want enemies, take
a look a little further ahead in the
timestream."
--------------------------------
 "We've got him now," exclaimed Ti.

 "Tiger claw necklaces, tiger fang gloves,
tigerskin amulets," said Ri Chie with a grin.

 "Made from one of the longtooth cats, a
thousand times more potent than from a modern
tiger." Perm readied a double handful of
throwing knives.

 T-chan backed up and eyed the six Amazon
huntresses, especially To Ga with those damn
darts. This didn't look good at all.

 Two figures leapt down, blocking the Amazons
from their prey.

 "Ukyou, you should leave now. If you fight
Amazon womans and lose, it bad. If you win,
it worse." Shampoo tightened her grip on her
bonbori and tried to center herself.

 "Not a chance, sugar. Ranchan's *my* fiance
and ain't gonna be ground up as some
ingredient in a male virility stew." Ukyou
whipped her spatula around to block a dart
thrown by To Ga. "Uh uh. None of your
poisoned darts *this* time."

 "For now. Allies." Shampoo agreed.

 "We seem to do this a lot lately," grumbled
Ukyou in reply. "Allies until Ranma's safe."

 T-chan growled. He could take care of
himself, damn it.

 "Shampoo, stand aside. We are on official
business for the village. This takes
precedence over your claim to a husband."
Perm met Shampoo's steady gaze. "You know
what those old men in Beijing will grant our
village for philtres and potions of such
potency. We needn't fear the tanks or troops
for another century at least."

 "Shampoo no care. Shampoo love Ranma, will
fight!"

 "Be reasonable, Shampoo. You're the village
Champion, but if you do this, you'll be
exiled. Even your great-grandmother can't
help you then." Perm's voice was cold and
confident.

 "Shampoo repeat that no care about that. You
no get past Shampoo without fight."

 "Same here, ya ain't getting to Ranchan
without going over me." Ukyou moved slightly
so as to give Shampoo more room. "This cat's
not for you, go find your own."

 "The spring doesn't work that way. Most
people falling in just turn into a normal
tiger. Some come out as Siberian, others
Bengal, only one who knows the Catfist comes
out like Ranma did." Perm frowned, conflict
seemed inevitable and yet she was reluctant
to start. "There are no other sabretooths. Be
reasonable, Shampoo."

 "Shampoo love Ranma. No be reasonable."
Shampoo frowned. That hadn't come out like
she had intended. Damn Japanese language,
couldn't they talk Chinese like civilized
people?

 T-chan finally recovered from hearing
Shampoo declare her interest so bluntly. It
was one thing to hear it, another to declare
it while all you held dear (her status as an
Amazon) was in peril. Why couldn't anyone
else be that straightforward? He growled and
reached for the Neko, increasing the amount
of submersion in the Nekoken from 20% to 60%.
He didn't hurt women, but here were a group
threatening two friends. He might have to
make an exception.

 "Come on guys, there has to be a reason this
doesn't work." Ukyou was trying reason, an
unfamiliar weapon for the area. "Otherwise
you could have just trained someone in the
Nekoken, dumped 'em in the spring, and had
lots of sabretooths by now."

 "Most who try to learn it, don't survive the
Nekoken. Enough talk." To Ga whipped another
three darts towards the obstacles.

 Ukyou blocked, only to leave herself open to
Ri Chie's twin mace attack. Shampoo found
herself blocking throwing daggers from Perm,
and trying to defend against Ki Tei's
warclaws.

 As Ukyou staggered back, one of To Ga's
darts stuck in her arm.

 "Nooooo!" Ukyou plucked it out as quickly as
she could but was under attack from Ri Chie
again. "Sorry, Ran..."

 T-chan leapt past the paralyzed Ukyou, a
deep growl erupting as he targetted To Ga.
She sent a set of darts at the tiger that
came apart in mid-air.

 Shampoo's bonbori managed to connect with Ki
Tei's head, then she began to beat down
Perm's tiger-spear.

 "Oh my? T-chan?" Kasumi and her sister
stopped walking forward as the scene at their
front gate became a free-for-all. All
thoughts of a quick trip to the market were
swept aside.

 Nabiki whistled at the sight of Ranma facing
off against four Amazons, with another Amazon
on the ground and a final one fighting
Shampoo.

 A bonbori smashed past the spear with enough
force to throw Perm into the wall. Shampoo
turned, to see an arc of darts coming her
way. She moved her maces to block.

 "Oh my!" Kasumi looked over at Nabiki who
was gazing at the heavens and wondering why
this sort of thing kept happening to her.
Kasumi carefully removed the dart that had
ricocheted and started dragging her stiffened
sister out of the battle zone.

 "How dare you attack my sister like that!"
Akane came charging out of the house as
Kasumi reached it.

 The eldest Tendo daughter sighed as she
finished setting Nabiki up in the living
room. Then she turned around, went back out
into the combat zone, and began dragging the
Akane statue back into the yard. While
looking at her two paralyzed sisters, she
briefly considered what to do with them. If
it was at all like the last time, they'd be
living dolls for several hours.

 Kasumi went back out again, this time
dragging Ukyou into the house. "Oh my," she
repeated. "Ukyou, are you gaining weight?"

 There was no answer, of course, but Kasumi
imagined that Ukyou's eyes bugged just
slightly at that observation.

 Kasumi turned to the doorway to see one of
the Amazons standing there, a dart held
between her fingers. "Oh dear."

 "SAOTOME!" After a few seconds, Perm called
out into the apparently empty street. "I know
you're out there. We've got Shampoo and your
outsider women!"

 Akane couldn't talk, but growled at being
included in that number.

 Ri Chie responded to the growl by pinching
and pulling at Akane's cheeks. Then, in a
burst of inspiration, forced Akane's mouth
open, pulled her tongue out and left to go
rummage around in the kitchen.

 "SAOTOME! SURRENDER AND WE'LL GIVE THE
ANTIDOTE TO THE VICTIMS. RESIST AND WE *PLAY*
WITH THEM FIRST."

 "Play?" To Ga looked puzzled. "This venom
freezes voluntary muscle control. What kind
of games do you have in mind?"

 "Idiot. It's not what games I'm thinking of.
He'll come up with all sorts of nasty things
without me having to get specific. It's
psychological warfare."

 "Ah." To Ga nodded. No wonder Perm was in
charge.

 "What if he's gone to get reinforcements?"
Ki Tei held her head, and stared at the
motionless Shampoo. She was thinking of
dozens of ways of avenging herself on the
helpless champion.

 "Who? Cologne won't interfere. The gymnast?
The swordsman? That wanderer? Those two fools
of fathers? No, the tiger is still nearby,
trying to figure a way to rescue whichever
one is dearest to his heart. Now, let us
prepare."

 P-chan snuck up the stairs only to discover
T-chan had changed to Ranma and was
stealthily creeping forward.

 Ri Chie returned to the group and swung a
bottle of Tabasco before Akane's eyes. "You
managed to land a good punch on me, outsider.
Maybe I should repay you?"

 "Leave that one alone," Perm commanded.
"Let's see, now which is the tiger's
favorite? Ki Tei, *what* are you doing?"

 Ki Tei looked up from what she was doing.
"Playing dolly?"

 "Is this the worst torture any of you can
come up with?" Perm sighed. "Now stop playing
around, the tiger will try to sneak in and
launch an attack. When he does, we will have
him!"

 "I've got it! Xi Fang Gao." Ki Tei smiled at
Perm, pulling the necessary shampoo out.

 "Xi Fang Gao? The memory sealing technique?
What good will that do?" Ri Chie didn't get
it, but was still debating if she should
empty the bottle of hot sauce into Akane's
mouth. She hadn't realized that paralysis
drugs could be so much fun.

 "We do it once, they forget tiger. We do it
twice, they forget we were here. We do it a
third time, they forget own names. That way
they won't ever give us any trouble."

 Perm shrugged. This was enough of a sign
that Ki Tei immediately started on her pet
project. "Whatever, killing nonwarriors
doesn't exactly sit well with me either. To
Ga, you want to help Ki Tei out with it? To
Ga? Rai Shu? Miao Yin?"

 Everyone looked up to the empty stairwell,
at the empty patio, and towards the now
silent kitchen. "Damn. How come nobody heard
anything, that tiger weighs at least a ton!"
Perm was incensed, they were too close to
victory.

 Ranma took a deep breath and reduced his
submersion in the Neko to a bare trickle.
This was dangerous but those three were where
they could hurt their prisoners. The Amazons
had made a mistake that others around him
also tended to do, which was thinking of him
as T-chan and at least emotionally forgetting
that he was actually Ranma Saotome, martial
artist.

 Silent, he waited as long as he dared, going
for the next most dangerous opponent first.
Perm fell, his punch to her stomach almost
reaching the spine. Spinning, he avoided Ki
Tei's thrust with her warclaws and kicked out
to her face, hard. If he was going to have to
fight women, he would at least make it a
quick battle.

 Ri Chie fell twenty-nine seconds later.
------------------------------
 "I'm still stiff," announced Nabiki.

 "Ranma got serious problem now," sighed
Shampoo as she tossed another tied-up Amazon
down like a sack of potatos. "Ranma is
outsider male, and has defeated Amazon womans
in group combat. They no try to take you as
prize now."

 "Oh dear, that's right. They'll want you as
a husband now." Kasumi frowned ever so
slightly at the small group of Amazons.

 "They can just forget it," Ranma suggested.
"I already got someone I like."

 Four heads snapped up at that comment.

 "You jerk! YOU'RE the one who put my sisters
in danger! This sort of thing never happened
before you showed up!" Akane glared at the
insufferable boy. Yeah, he rescued them, but
if he hadn't been here there would have been
no need for anyone to be rescued. If he
married Nabiki or Kasumi she'd be related to
him. Ick!

 "Don't worry, Akane. I wasn't talking about
you."

 "Oh, just go back to being T-chan, you're
much less irritating that way." Akane turned
on the hose, spraying the boy. "Why don't you
just leave and take your problems with you?"

 T-chan spat water out of his mouth and
glared at Akane.

 "Akane, it's not Ranma's fault that martial
artists and hunters and scientists and all
manner of crazy people keep attacking him and
getting the rest of us involved." Nabiki
frowned, that hadn't come out nearly like she
had intended it to.

 T-chan frowned. She had a point. His
presence was putting them in danger.

 A gunshot formed a punctuation mark to that
thought.

 "Urk!" T-chan staggered at the unexpected
blow.

 A few moments of observation revealed
Tatewaki Kuno, atop a roof, reloading some
ancient teppo style gun. He raised the gun
again and fired a second time. T-chan went
down. Just the sight of the would-be samurai
with a rifle was enough to startle his
audience.

 "At last!" Kuno's voice echoed off the
buildings around them. "I have freed the
beauteous Akane and her sisters from the foul
domination of the Beast! Akane Tendo, come
leap into my arms!"

 Akane frowned and started forward. "See if
he's all right. I've got something to discuss
with the Blue Thunder there."

 Ukyou started forward but was stopped by
Shampoo. "Akane need do this herself. She
feel humiliated, useless, need to let
frustrations out."

 Ukyou nodded at Shampoo's comment, Akane's
expression indicated that she had some issues
with Kuno-sempai.

 Nabiki came running out of the house with
hot water, only to find Ranma changing back
to his uncursed form without it. And slowly,
very slowly. "Uh oh." The sound of
Kuno-sempai being repeatedly beaten in the
background was ignored.

 Kasumi looked up, tears beginning to track
her cheeks. "Oh, Nabiki, I think he's dying."

 "It can't be, not Ranma. He always wins,
even when he was stuck as T-chan."

 "Great Grandma make big mistake that time."
Shampoo shook her head in rememberance.
Warriors don't weep. But then she wasn't an
Amazon any more, was she? "Ranma no go."

 "Ranchan?" Ukyou stroked the head as he
reverted to human. The head moved limply to
her touch.

 "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A woman screamed to the
heavens. Nobody who had heard that thought
that Shampoo was only after a husband due to
law or some desire to win Ranma as a trophy.
It was the wail of someone whose heart had
just been cut out.

 Kasumi stopped and felt along Ranma's chest.
A moment later and she was wadding up her own
apron to stop fresh bleeding from the wounds.

 Ranma shuddered briefly as he tried to
breathe, the task made more difficult by
being hugged from all sides.
------------------------------

Ending animation: "Stray Cat Strut" by the
Stray Cats,
with a few changes.
Scene: full moon in background, block walls
and houses.
"Ooooh Oooh Ooooh Ooooh
"Black furred stray cat sittin' on a fence."
             T-chan leaps up and starts
strutting
proudly along atop the fence.
"Ain't got enough dough to pay the rent."
             Nabiki is counting money as the
tiger
passes behind her.
"I'm flat broke but I don't care,
"I strut right by with my tail in the air.

"Stray Cat Strut, I'm a ladies man,"
             Passes a group of Chinese Amazon
huntresses,
"A feline Catsanova...
   Mousse and Ryouga on the street
Mousse & Ryouga: "Hey man, that's sad."
"Get insults thrown at me from my mean old
man,"
             Passes Genma-panda who's waving
signs
around.
"Get my dinner any way that I can..."
             Brief flash to a scene of T-chan
cuddling
with Kasumi.
             Goes back to the fences, where
he uses
Kuno's head as a springboard to cross the
street.
"Yeah, don't cross my path, now."

"I don't bother chasin' mice around,
 I slink down the alley, lookin' for a fight,
 Howlin' to the moonlight, on a hot summer
night!"

              Comes to a spot of fence where
T-chan
sits down and sways back and forth to the
beat, eyes
closed and grinning.

"Singing the blues while the lady cats cry,
 Wild stray cat, you're a real cool guy,
 I know you can be just as carefree and wild,
 Cause WE got cat-class and we've got cat
style!"

                   Camera pulls back
revealing Nabiki,
Shampoo, Kasumi, Ukyou, small group of
Amazons,
Cologne, Kodachi, and to the sides Akane,
Genma, Soun,
Tatewaki, Tsubasa, the Big Game Hunters, and
Nodoka
Saotome.
---Mimir's Well-------------------
 "So how's it turn out?" Bast grumbled at
Hephaestus. This timeline was one she
approved of, but she'd been disappointed
before. Certainly that scene with Kuno firing
silver bullets was not what she had expected.

 The craftsman smiled. "Watch this, a mere
year later."
-----------------------------------
music: "Cosmo Canyon" theme from Final
Fantasy VII
SCENE: A forest in the early morning. calm,
peaceful, undisturbed by signs of man.

 Until a bush explodes and 1,300 pounds of
sabretoothed tiger comes along in a loping
run that seems to skim the ground more than
actually touch it. He slows to a lope along a
trail, and the figure riding the tiger stops
gripping him quite so tightly.

 Shampoo's head rises, and she smiles and
winks at the audience as she goes past.

 T-chan slows and stops, looking out over the
Valley of Cursed Springs.

-END-
fade to black
T-chan: "Rowwwwww!"
Shampoo: "Bie Bie!"

==================================
=================================
OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE

Turning the other cheek, an omake by
GreggSharp
---------------------------------

 Akane is standing next to Ranma and giving
her "cute" smile to the camera.

 "Now, it's come to my attention that some of
you don't accept that the violence I commit
upon Ranma is justified by his actions or
particularly nice." Akane smiles again at the
camera, one eyebrow raised as if in inquiry.
Her tone suggests she's addressing children.

  Ranma snorts. "Well, it's definitely
uncute!"

  <WHAM!>

   Akane puts down the barstool she's just
used to slam into Ranma's face and sits down
on it, smiling again at the camera. "As you
can see, this is entirely "Three Stooges"
violence. No actual pain or harm done."

   Ranma's down out of camera field but
manages. "Yeah right!"

   <WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!>

   Akane tosses the mallet aside and smiles
again, using a tone one would use to explain
something to a difficult preschooler.
"Whether I use a mallet..."

    <WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!>

   "or a baseball bat..."

    <THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!>

   "or an archery set..."

    <SCHNNNICK! SCHUNK!>

   "or a razor sharp katana..."

   "urk! can someone call Doctor Tofu?"

   <CRACKLE! ZZZZZZZZZAP!>

   "or even hundreds of thousands of volts,
it doesn't hurt Ranma a bit because it's all
cartoon violence." Akane shrugs. "Besides
he's got it coming for calling P-chan a
filthy pig."

   [help] a tiny sign, smouldering slightly,
appears at the bottom of the screen. Akane
stomps down on something out of sight a few
times and the sign disappears.

   Akane smiles again. "I hope this has made
everything perfectly clear."

   Akane leaves. A few moments of blank
screen before a thoroughly beaten up, cut up,
arrows protruding from him, Ranma uses the
barstool to crawl up into the camera's view.
He blinks a couple of times at the camera,
then begins removing arrows.

   "Not real? Doesn't hurt? Doesn't matter?
None of the bombs or blades or special
attacks or anything? After Jusendo and all?
None of it?" Ranma stops and blinks at the
camera again. "Then why do I have something
against hitting girls?"

   Picking up a large mallet, Ranma (still
bearing a few bruises and cuts) grins at the
camera. "Okay. Now who should I see first?
Akane or Nabiki?"

   After a few moments he nods and runs
offcamera to the right. "Oh, Nabikiiiiii!
I've got something special for you today!"

   "Well, give it here, Saotome."

   "Okay. Since you asked for it."

   <WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!
WHAM!>

   "Oh, Akane! I've got something for you to
express my affection!"

   "Really Ranma?!"

   <WHAMWHAMWHAM!>

   "See folks, whether I use a mallet..."

   "R-R-Ranma?"

   <BLAM!>

   "Or a mouko takabisha..."

   "b-b-but you don't?!"

   <WHAMx100>

   "or a kachuu tenshin amaguriken, it
doesn't matter!"

   "medic?"