Mihoshi places her coffee mug down on the table and begins 
to calm herself down.   She keep trying to remember to just 
read what's on the telepromter.  The cameraman gives her the 
que and the count down begins.  5... 4... 3... 2... 1...   

"Good Morning everyone, and welcome to the first installment 
of Early Morning Coffee with Mihoshi.  I'm your host
 Mihoshi..."  

She paused for a second and began to think out loud.  "The 
probably already knew that I'm Mihoshi.  I am the first person 
to be on the show and I am drinking coffee." 

Mihoshi smiled at the screen and then began to speak under 
her breath.

"Who else would they show, at three oclock in the morning 
during this crummy time slot and on this stupid network."  

The cameraman began to wave frantically as she pointed to 
the telemonitor.  Mihoshi looked at her and then to what she 
was pointing to.  

"Oh yeah, I'll read what it says!  =AHEM= Our first guest is a 
mad scientist that is planning to take over the universe some 
day."  

A half-asleep Washu walked up on the stage and plopped 
down in the chair.  

"What am I doing in here again, it's three in the morning."
  
"You said you'd help me out with this show.  I need this job or 
I'll have to go back to dancing on tables to pay off my student 
loan and apartment bills."
  
Washu opened one of her eyes and sighed.  "POUR ME 
SOME COFFEE."  Mihoshi picked up her GP cube and began 
to fidget with it to get a cup of coffee to appear.  She then 
began to read from the telepromter as she worked on it.  

"So Washu, tell me.  How hard is it for a single mother with a 
child's body to take over the Universe in today's time?"  

Washu looked toward her and then her one eye fell back 
closed.  

"Yeah... yeah... It's really hard...  NOW COFFEE ME!"  

Mihoshi began to bang the cube on the table; as she did an 
assortment of things fell down behind the two of them.  
Washu didn't pay any of the things any attention as they 

did: first was a set of files, some computer diskettes and disks, 
a typewriter, a cabbits foot charm, then Ryo-Ohki, one of 
Ryoko's gems, a sample from Tenchi, a dimensional portal 
that led to the inside of Washus lab, and finally a black hole 
popped up.  Washu cracked open one of her eyes as she asked 
if there was some coffee yet.  When she fully opened her eye 
she saw Mihoshi and everything in the room being sucked 
toward the abyss.  She quickly grabbed a hold of her chair and 
began to scream out. 

"WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO DOIN THIS!?"  

Mihoshi pulled herself down from the air and caught her cube 
as it was begining to pass by her.  As she did a cup of coffee 
appeared in front of her.   However, it quickly got sucked 
toward the black hole.  Washu let go of her chair and stretched 
after the cup. 

"THAT'S MINE DANGGIT!" 

Both the mad scientist and her cup of joe were sucked into the 
hole.  

"Washu!!!  I could've got another one for you!  Oh well.  I 
think it's time for a commercial, so stay tuned and we'll be 
right back.

                 *****COMMERCIAL TIME*****
=Genma Saotome and Shoun Tendo are seen sparing in the 
middle of  a fight mat.  The two stop and face the screen.=

Hello, Im Master Saotome

And Im Master Tendo

We are two of the worlds greatest martial artist.  Isnt that 
right Tendo

Right you are Saotome.  We have spent all of our lives toning 
our skills to reach the point that many martial artists can only 
dream of.  Our deeds took us many years to accomplish, and at 
great pains taking risk.

Thats why were here to speaking to you now.

Many of you are jumping onto the Kung-Fu fitness craze.  
However, to obtain that true level where mind and body are 
one, you must be taught by a master of that level.

Tendo and I have created a 4 work-out video tape series that 
will guarantee you the body that you want.

For only 4 easy payments of $19.99 you too can obtain 
physical and mental perfection.

=The two peddlers continue to talk till they are interrupted by 
a familiar voice.=

GENMA!  SHOUN!  Who told you that you two could call 
yourselves masters?  You two arent fit to  teach 
pre-schoolers.

Please forgive us master.

We meant now harm, we were only looking to make a little 
money to Ah to???  Help me out here Saotome.

To make a big contribution to the Help Keep Your 
Collection Alive fund.  Isnt that right Tendo?

Ah yes  With every purchase made, we give a dollar to 
young women in the vicinity, so that they might have money 
to buy more undergarments master Happosai.

Oh, In that case you two are doing a good thing.

Thank you master.

But itll be a whole lot better if you gave 90% of your 
proceeds to the fund.

But!!!!

What was that?  It sounded like you where about to 
contradict me.

No master

There goes our money Tendo.  We must respect the masters 
wishes.

Even though at times he steal womens undergarments.

Lots of women! Tendo

Lots of times!  Saotome

        *****COMMERCIAL FADE TO BLACK*****

Mihoshi is picking up the last of the stuff that got swept onto 
the stage by the black hole.  She heard someone calling her, so 
she turned around to see the cameraman waving her arms 
again.

Youre on!

Mihoshi quickly jumped back into her hosting chair, picked up 
her mug of coffee, and began to smile.

Welcome back.  Its 3:05 and youre watching Morning 
Coffee with Mihoshi.  I, once again, am your hostess 
Mihoshi.  Before we move on to our next guest, lets have a 
moment of silence for our first guess Washu.  Whom selflessly 
closed a black hole for us, after she had been sucked into it.

Mihoshi paused for about two seconds and then jumped back 
into attention.

Okay, my next two guest are very important people.  One is 
the crown princess of Juri and the other is a intergalactically 
known space pirate.

Aeka looked to still be in a sleepy daze as she walked up to
the stage.  Ryoko looked as if she had been drinking all night 
and was feeling the early effects of a hangover.  The two of 
them were so tired that they did not even fight with each other 
as the made their way to the stage to sit down.  Aeka slowly 
lowered herself into her chair.  Ryoko stood in front of her 
chair and toppled backwards into it.  

Okay, welcome to the show you two!

Owe!  Not so loud, okay.  Hey wait a sec, wheres Tenchi?

Yes Mihoshi, where is Lord Tenchi.  You told us that he 
would be here.

Ah, yeah Tenchi   Well, about him.   He really didnt say 
that he would come on.

WHAT!!!

He didnt say that he wasnt going to come on either.   When 
I asked him he was still in bed.  I think hes sleeping on his 
answer now.

That does it, Im leaving.

Me too.  This is an outrage Mihoshi.

The two of them began to try to get out of their chairs.  They 
couldnt muster up the energy to get out of their chairs.  
Ryoko tilted her head toward Aeka.  The princess did the same 
to her.

Ah  Aeka, could you give me a hand out of this chair?

I was about to ask you the same.

Look, you two really need to stay seated till you feel well 
enough to leave.  While you wait, you can have some coffee 
and talk to me.

That may be the wise thing to do.  Ill have a cafi latte.

Make mine an Irish-coffee, hold the coffee.

Mihoshi reached down to pick up here GP cube from the table.  
Just as she was about to touch it, one of he stagehands ran up 
with a pot of coffee.  He placed it in front of her and grabbed 
ahold of her cube.  Mihoshi watched as he ran to the 
cameraman and handed it to her. 

Hmph, tear up one stage and everyone gets all touchy.

Both Aeka and Ryoko had their eyes closed.  They were 
hanging in between staying awake and completely falling 
asleep.  Ryoko had a trail of slob slowly declining from her 
mouth.  Aeka began to speak, as her head bobbed up and 
down.

Mihoshi, is that coffee ready yet?

Ah  Yeah, but I couldnt get you any cafi latte or 
Irish-coffee.

What doya got?

Miho poured some coffee into on a mug.  An afro comb fell 
into the cup from the pot.  She picked it up and placed it to the 
side.

Ah  The coffee must be black.   Please dont ask how I 
know.

Well thats better than nothing.

Mihoshi handed her two guests their cups of coffee.  She then 
looked back at the telemonitor and began to ask one of the 
questions that it had on it.

So Aeka how do you feel about this love triangle that you 
and Ryoko are in with Tenchi.

What?!

I mean the ordeal between you and Ryoko.  You both are 
constantly after Tenchi, yet he doesnt seem to be able to pick 
between the two of you.

Lord Tenchi is meant to be with me.  It is the only obvious 
that this will occur.

Dream on

Ryoko rubbed the slob for the side of her face and lifted his 
head toward Aeka.  She picked up her mug of coffee and took 
a sip.  She then lifted her fist to the side of her head.

Right on.  Hmm, black coffee?

Yeah.

Look you little stuck up brat, Tenchi is mine.  He promised 
that hed even die for me.

HE NEVER MADE SUCH A PROMISE!

How do you know, you werent there.

Girls  Girls  Calm down there is no need for that.  
Maybe I should change the topic for you two?

Mihoshi looked at the telemonitor and read the next question.  

You both are busy fighting each other off from Tenchi, but 
what about the upcoming threat of Sasami winning Tenchis 
heart when she gets older?

Aeka and Ryoko both looked at each and then began to fume 
as they turned back toward Mihoshi.  She thought about what 
she just said, as she mumbled out, Uh oh.  The two girls 
began to scream out in unison.

SASAMI WIN NOT WIN TENCHI!

Ah I didnt mean it that way.  Hey, I didnt even write that 
question.

Listen to me you airhead.  Lord Tenchi has no interest in 
Sasami or Tsunami.  They are not an issue here.

Hey!  Im no airhead.

Sure you are if you think my Tenchi-kun is going to be stolen 
by Sasami or Tsunami.  I dont give a =BEEP= what you 
think.

Oops, You cant say that on this network.

What the =BEEP=?!  Who keep beeping me?

You cant say that either, sorry.

Ill say any got =BEEP= thing that I =BEEP= please.   And 
when I find the person that keeps beeping me, Im going to 
kick their =BEEP=.

Mihoshi looked at Ryoko and her face twitched as she turned 
back to the camera.

Okay, I think its time for another commercial.  Well be 
right back.


         *****COMMERCIAL TIME***** (yeah again)

This Summer there is one great fic to read.  This highly 
anticipation fic will adjoin the greatest work of sci-fi 
entertainment ever.  It was 20 months in the making, and it 
will be coming to a computer screen near you.   

SPOOF WARS Episode 1 =: The Phantom Blemish.

See your favorite anime characters in their most memorable 
roles:
  
Yoshu as Qui-Gon Yoshu
Nobuyuki as Nobu Won Kinyuki
Aeka as Queen Aeka
Sasami as Queen Aekas decoy Sasami
Ryo-Ohki as Jar Jar-Ohki
Happosai as the sinister Darth Happosai
Genma Saotome as Senator Saotome	
Kagato as lil Kagato Skywalker 
Kiyone as lil Kagato Skywalkers mother
And featuring Tenchi Muyo as Darth Mauled

Marvel at the written special affect, mainly because you cant 
see them.  This fic is an exclusive for the Tenchi Muyo Fan 
Fiction Website.  The home for all Tenchi fics.  

Come to the site and see the splender that is created before you.  Go now and enjoy, while the clock counts down the 
unveiling of  SPOOF WARS  Remember thats 
www.tmffa.com and one more thing;  GenSao is more than 
just a panda, hes the website manager.

May the copyright be with you!!!

       ******BACK TO THE TV SHOW*****

Ryoko and Aeka are both bond and gagged when the monitor 
turns back on.  Mihoshi is hunched back in her chair, as she 
knocked out one last cup of saki.  The Stage hand, picks the 
two girls up and walks off the stage.  Mihoshi wave bye bye to 
the lot of them, and blows a kiss to the stage hand that 
managed to get them under control.

Thanks Seion  Okay, I only have one more interview to go 
and this will all be over.

Mihoshi puts down her drink and squeenches her eyes as she 
begins to read off of the telemonitor.

Were very lucky to have my last guest.  Hes traveled a long 
way to be with us this morning.  He is a renowned swordsman 
and adventurer.  May, I introduce  Gourry Gabriev.

Thank you, It is a pleasure to be on your show today.

Gourry walks onto the stage and takes a seat.  He sat down 
and immediately began to talk to Mihoshi.

Hello, Mihoshi.

Hiya

Hmm  I was hoping to take this chance to talk about a very 
important matter.

Mihoshi looked up toward him and began to pay attention as 
for once something seemed to be going right this morning. 

Please, go on Gourry.

I have heard that you and I have something in common.  We 
both suffer from Attention Deficit Syndrome.  This is terrible 
thing for anyone to go through.  People see our blonde hair 
and our outstanding good looks and think that we are stupid 
because of that.  My partner is constantly telling my how 
stupid I am, but it isnt me that may make me seem 
unintelligent.  It is my illness.

I have the same problem with my partner.  It makes me feel 
so bad some times.

You see what I mean  Some people are so insensitive to 
our status.  1 out of every 5 children and adults have ADS.  
This matter must be brought to the publics attentions so that 
understanding their feelings can occur.

You are so right

Mihoshi looked back at the telemonitor and began to read. 

Welcome, if youre just tuning in, this is  Morning 
Coffee with Mihoshi.  I am your hostess Mihoshi, and I have 
with me Gourry.  Ah Gourry
 
Gabriev, my last name is Gabriev.

Im sorry, please forgive me  Im here with my guest 
Gourry Gabriev.  He was just talking about.  Ah what was it 
you where just talking about.?

I was talking about something?  Are you sure?  I dont 
remember talking about anything.  Hey, how much longer do I 
have to be here?  I want to catch Moldiver when it comes on.

What  Moldiver comes on in the morning now!

Yep 

Oh  Well that does it for us, Ill be leaving to watch my 
favorite show now.  Bye

The Cameraman was furious, she stepped out from behind the 
camera and threw her headpiece on the floor.

MIHOSHI!!!  What are you doing?  We still have 10 minutes 
to go.

Ah You worry to much Kiyone.  Nobody is watching this 
anyway.  Think about it.  Moldivers on  I cant miss that or 
or or I dont know what Ill do.  

Why???  What did I do to deserve this?  Can you at least 
close the show out first?!

Okay Okay

Mihoshi sat back down and faced the camera again  

Well its time to go now.  Join me tomorrow when my guest 
will be, Nagi the bounty hunter, Tenchi Masaki, and Ranma 
Saotome.  Until next time;  Dont chase coffee into black 
hole Byeee.

 
Kiyone sighed as she said cut and killed the camera.  I have to 
get up and do this all over again  I would kill to be in 
Washus place now.  

*****SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF A BLACKHOLE*****

Washu sat quietly as she drank her coffee.  She didnt move.  
As she did was sip and stare off into nothing.  Then the little 
mad scientist lifted here head and began to speak out in a 
slighly crazed tone.   

Mental note.  Must remember to kill Mihoshi once I finish 
my coffee and get out of this black hole.



Thanks for putting up with this fic.  It was mostly written at 
4:00 am in the morning.  So I have no idea what I wrote 
period.  Sorry, but I hope you enjoyed it. 







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