Alan Harnum <harnums@thekeep.org> wrote:

    The mid-day sun drew curls of mist from the pools in the valley.
Nearly half of them bore bamboo poles as memorials for the creatures
who had met their end in the springs, and warnings for those who would
think of following them. 

Unfortunately, people were too stupid to pay any attention to those
warnings....

    The Musk were never known for giving heed to warnings.  A select

Ah, case in point. :)

    The Empress stepped forward, holding bucket and ladle in hand.  
The bride made a hesitant noise within her throat, and gazed at the
Empress adoringly.  Nearby, the bridegroom watched the heaving
undulations of his bride's body as she breathed, his eyes wide and
mouth hanging open.  A splash of the water from the bucket, and the
bride was fully human in body.  

    "This is your new mate," the Empress said.  "Your life as a beast 
is over now.  You shall obey him in all things.  Do you understand?"

And she replied, "Bitte? Sprechen sie Deutsch?" I don't understand why
the spring should give her any knowledge of Chinese.

    He didn't _feel_ enlightened. But then, he didn't feel anything
at all, except for the buzzing, and the pain...  He liked this; he
liked being down here.  It was safe and warm, like the straw bed, like
his mother's teats, like the tiny bodies of all his
brothers and sisters...

    Teats?
    
    No.  No.  He was _human_, human...
    

Okay, then t--

*ahem*

    Take off your clothes.  His hands moved, shrugging out of his 
vest, pulling down his pants, until he was naked as her in the grove.
There was nothing here but he and her, _nothing_.  

"She" would be grammatically correct rather than "her."

    Like a goddess, she loomed overtop of him now.  Her slim feet 
stood to the outsides of his ankles.  Slowly, smiling all the while,
she bent her knees and lowered herself towards him.  Tarou gasped,
finally allowed to breathe, move, speak.  His hands came up and
clutched at her muscled thighs, trying to pull her down quicker; it
was like trying to shift a mountain.

    "What _shall_ I call you?" she whispered.  Her pink tongue
touched her lips.     
    

"Garter Belt!" :-)

Not much to say here. As before, it conveys exceptionally well the sense
of what the characters are going through, but the overall plot has yet
to be clear. Hoping for more of this soon.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html