This is the first part of "The Funniest adventures of Sailor Andromeda". That fanfic does NOT fall anywhere in the Star Sailors Timeline. It's a TOTALLY different universe. This S.And. here is part of the Sailor Senshi United. Her HQ keps sending her and her partner Sailor Moonie on various missions.
 "The funniest Adventures" is going to be mostly humorous, unlike Star Sailors, where (snip spoilers)...

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Sailor Andromeda meets project C.U.R.E.

 It was dark. Very dark.
 Sailor Andromeda crept slowly along the darkness. At her side was
a blonde girl in Sailor Fuku. They were on a special and very deli-
cate mission.
 "I'm scared!" Whined the blonde for the n-th time. Sailor Andromeda
turned to her and patted her shoulder.
 "There, there. There's nothing to be afraid of."
 "But it's so dark! I'm scaaared!" The blonde shivered, causing her
two ponytails to wiggle.
 Sailor Andromeda sighed.
 "Listen." She said. "You should NOT be scared of the dark. In fact,
you should get to like it. Darkness is very useful if you want to
surprise the enemy. Which is precisely what we're doing now."
 "S... surprising them?"
 "Yes. We're going to make a surprise frontal attack on the enemies'
rears." After using one of her favorite expressions, Sailor Andromeda
turned away from her blonde friend and continued sneaking along.
It was still too dark to see anything.
 The blonde girl followed the purple-suited senshi with a frown. She
was thinking something over. After a few moments, she suddenly
stopped and exclaimed:
 "Hey! Did you say 'a surprise frontal attack on the rears'?"
 "That's what I said."
 "But... If we're making an attack on the _rears_..." She broke off,
unsure.
 "What then?" Asked Sailor Andromeda impatiently.
 "I know it's a little stupid, but..."
 "Yes?"
 "What if they escape through the _front_?" asked the blonde.
 Sailor Andromeda sweatdropped and laughed nervously. She patted her
companion's head, and said in an unnaturally happy voice:
 "Oh, don't worry, we've got someone posted up front, so they can't
escape! Don't you worry none 'cause it's all been taken care of!"
 She laughed again, nervously and loudly.
 Too loud.
 A door banged open.
 Bright lights were turned on, revealing the two senshi in the middle
of a usual-looking conference room. The blonde girl screamed with
fear and covered her eyes.

 In the door stood a small group of shadowy silhouettes. One of them
addressed Sailor Andromeda. His evil, sarcastic voice sounded through
the room:
 "Really now? And just what makes you think that we WANT to escape?"
 "Damn! They found us!" Hissed Sailor Andromeda shielding her eyes
with her arm. She pulled it away and blinked a few times before 
replying: "I'm here, and that's a very good cause for you to run
like he||!"
 Her adversary just snickered. "We're no more afraid of you than of
your friend there." He motioned to the blonde girl, who was
currently sitting on the floor and throwing uncertain glances around
in-between sobs.
 Sailor Andromeda blushed a little, but quickly recovered, stepped
forward and said: "_Anyways_, I've come here to ask you a few
questions."
 "Yeah, I know." The figure waved his hand and then continued in a
mocking, high-pitched voice: "'Will you stop saying awful things
about poor Reenee, she's so cute and she doesn't deserve it blah blah
blah blah blah... and if you don't, we'll fire little hearts at you
and annoy you to death!'" He laughed, and a few of his companions
snickered too.
 "No, actually, I'm not from C.U.L.A.P.C. or from C.U.T.E. at all. My
friend who scares you so much represents them." She waved at the
blonde who stood up with a few more sobs. She made a cute battle pose
and announced:
 "I am the beautiful champion of love and justice, Sailor Moonie!
In the name of the future moon" she pointed at the figures "I'm gonna
kick all your butts!"

 The figures in the doorway stared at her speechlessly. This time,
the light was shone properly at them and they turned out to be usual
people. 
A sign was visible on the open door: 'Project C.U.R.E - Chibi Usa is
Really Evil'.
 The leader of C.U.R.E. quickly recovered from his surprise. He
smiled and turned to Sailor Andromeda:
 "Well, now we know who she represents. The question remains, 
however,"
 "Why C.U.T.E. always sends us such wimpy soldiers?" Said someone
behind the leader, earning laughs from a few other people. The leader
threw a glance in that direction and then continued: "The question
remains, however, whom _you_ represent, miss... um?"
 "Sailor Andromeda. I am here in the name of the International Hate
Exterminators (IHE) as well as Department of Evil Energy Pursuing
(DEEP) and Protect Our Children from all Kinds of Evil Things
(POCKET) of Sailor Mooo-n Productions. I have a few questions
concerning your goals, your means and your website." She pulled
a piece of paper out of nowhere and read from it. "Project C.U.R.E.,
the IHE rated your website as "very hateful". DEEP reports that dark
energy apply factor (deaf) reaches up to 67%. And POCKET specialists
say that the blood 'n guts level is too high to consider the content
PG or even PG-13. Therefore, you are asked to change the contents of
your website or have it rated 15 on all web browsers and the such.
The alternative is getting your butts kicked by the person
representing us." Sailor Andromeda grinned. "That's me." She waved 
the paper and it disappeared.
 The C.U.R.E. leader stared at the purple-suited senshi for a few
moments. Then he said: "What a bunch of BULLSHIT. We're not changing
anything on our website and we're not rating it 15 either. As to
beating us up, just try it. We dare you." All the C.U.R.E. members
made different battle poses.
 Sailor Andromeda sighed. Then she raised her hand to her right ear.
Unlike her left ear, it had two earrings; one standard purple one and
a smaller, blue one. Sailor Andromeda pressed the blue one and Sailor
Mercury's VR visor appeared on her face. Then she waved her hand.
 Sailor Moonie nodded. She closed her eyes, extended her arms, palms
forward, and concentrated. A pinkish light orb appeared between her
hands.
 "NO! Not the fireball!!!" Screamed someone and ran out. The others
just moved forward a bit.
 Sailor Moonie opened her eyes and exclaimed: "Pink rabbit...
SHOWER!!!"
 Instantly, the light orb flew up over the C.U.R.E. members' heads
and horrendously cute, pink and white stuffed rabbit toys started
falling down. All the C.U.R.E. members screamed in agony.
 A quick cut to Sailor Andromeda's point of view showed that thanks
to the visor, she was seeing the rabbits in reasonable if not
elegant shades of purple and blue.
 Finally the rabbit shower stopped and the toys disappeared. Various
voices murmured things in the tone of:
 "No.... Help...."
 "Agh.... too much.... saccharine....."
 "Gonna.... die...."
 The leader, struck harder than any of the others, barely managed to
lift his head and call out: "Nurse..."
 Instantly, the Animaniacs' nurse rushed in with a cart labeled
"insulin". It was full of small bottles. All the C.U.R.E. members
crawled forward and each one of them took one bottle.
 Suddenly, the Animaniacs tune started playing and Yakko, Wakko and
Dot ran in through the door, crossed the room and jumped out the
window. The nurse grabbed a fish net on a long stick and ran after
them, followed closely by a fat studio guard carrying a similar net.

 Everyone grew a sweatdrop.
 "That was pointless." Someone observed. 

The CURE leader drunk down his insulin and threw the bottle away.
A loud crash and a scream were heard. The leader looked around,
then shrugged his shoulders and stood up. He addressed Sailor
Andromeda:
 "Don't think we weren't ready for CULAPC members with superpowers!
We've got a secret weapon to use in exactly that case!"
 "We do?" Asked someone from behind the leader. After receiving
a few glances, he quickly corrected: "We do, we do!"
 The leader pulled out a weird device. It was a steel blue cube
with lots of controls, dials and the such. On top was a large,
dark blue button. The leader pressed this button. The device started
to hum.

 Cut to a view of the Pacific Ocean. Bubbles start to rise to the
surface, then more bubbles, then they get so numerous it seems the
water is boiling at that spot.
 Suddenly a column of water rises up into the clear, blue sky. It is
at least a hundred feet tall and very large.
 The water falls back down and only a human figure dressed in blue
remains. Seen from this distance, it seems very small.
 Cut to the figure - it's Sailor Pacifica, in her blue Sailor Fuku
with an unusually long skirt, and wearing a mask similar to Mercury's
visor below her tiara.
 Her arms are crossed on her chest, hands just below her shoulders.
Her head is hung down. Slowly, she pulls it up until her face comes
into view.
 Cut to a close-up on her face as she opens her eyes.
 Cut to a side view. Sailor Pacifica looks like a small figure again,
hovering high above the Pacific Ocean. Then she flies forward (to
our right), Ryoko-style.

 "May I present...." Said the CURE leader with an evil grin. "The
Senshi on the side of CURE...." The door was shattered to pieces as
the blue senshi flied in and the leader finished: "Sailor Pacifica!"
 She didn't bother with any speeches. She just threw her hands
forward and a water orb appeared. Then, dozens of small, fast jets
of water shot from it.
 Sailor Andromeda jumped to the side, allowing a poor, defenseless
chair to receive the blast. The piece of furniture now looked like
chair-shaped cheese.
 Sailor Andromeda was preparing a counter-attack when suddenly,
without any warning, she heard IT.
 "How dare you attack us for the sake of the evil CURE! I won't
forgive you! I am the..." Sailor Moonie was cut off by her partner,
who ran by in super-speed mode and picked her up right before 
a water orb exploded in the spot the little soldier had been
standing.
 The next few moments had Sailor Andromeda running around carrying
Sailor Moonie and Sailor Pacifica flying in hot pursuit, throwing
water bombs. The CURE members scattered out of the conference room,
panicking.
 Andromeda decided that she had to stash Moonie someplace if they
were going to get out of this alive. So she stopped, dodged another
water bomb and quickly exclaimed: "Multi-laser!", causing a large
number of small, red beams to shoot out from her tiara and fly
towards Pacifica.
 Andromeda knew that it was only a temporary distraction, so she
shoved Moonie away as quickly as she could.
 "But why?" The blonde protested. "I wanna..."
 The look on Andromeda's face told her that she'd better run or
she'll get hurt. NOT by the enemy.

 Andromeda could now move freely, but she was still on the receiving
end of numerous water spells. Suddenly, Pacifica stopped and 
concentrated just one second on a stronger spell. But that one second
was just enough.
 "Cosmic Laserbeam!" The laser hit her hard, breaking her
concentration on the Torrential Monsoon and causing her to stumble
back and land. She recovered quickly, but Andromeda managed to pull
out her Star Scepter.
 Pacifica quickly fired a few water bombs which were easily dodged.
She ducked under a Rainbow whip from the Star Scepter and responded
with a couple dozen Water Bullets.
 Suddenly, from behind her, she heard: "Moon pearls, pink candy,
sparkling ATTACK!" Some pink light tickled her a bit. She quickly
turned around and sealed the small soldier inside a Water Cage.
 (Which looked simply like an oversized bird cage made of water 
instead of steel beams. But it was MUCH more solid than any steel
cage ever made.)
 Then, in one flash, she realized her mistake. Quickly, quickly, she
turned back to Andromeda...

 And found her just standing there, looking at the cage with a
sobbing Moonie inside. "Nice trick", mumbled Andromeda to no one in
particular, "wish I knew how to do that."
 Pacifica quickly took a battle stance. "Why didn't you attack me?"
She demanded. "My back was turned and you could easily kill me! Why
didn't you?"
 Andromeda grinned. "I didn't want to owe that little brat a favor."
She explained. "If I keep her record low enough, HQ might just take
her back to training." She also took a battle stance. "If you don't
like not being attacked, I'll make it up to you."
 Pacifica was already in the middle of a Torrential Monsoon.
 Andromeda just managed to call another Rainbow which partly absorbed
the mass of water.
 Partly.

 The impact tossed her across the room and she hit a wall. Before she
even fell to the ground, Pacifica was already hovering above her,
holding another water orb.
 Andromeda rolled away just before the explosion and jumped to her
feet, then threw another Rainbow which encircled Pacifica and tied
her up. Before she managed to get out of it, Andromeda powered up an
Andromeda Starlight Explosion. The large mass of energy hit Pacifica
perfectly.
 Andromeda wasn't wining, though - the Starlight Explosion took a lot
of her energy. "I have to admit, you're pretty good", she said,
shooting another Laserbeam.
 "You're not so bad yourself", Pacifica responded using some more
Water Bullets.
 "Actually, you're better than anyone I ever fought", Andromeda
added whipping another Rainbow. 
 "I don't think I've fought a Sailor Senshi before", Pacifica
remarked, throwing her n-th bomb.

Suddenly, they both heard a gong. They turned to the Aqua Cage in
which Moonie was standing, holding one. "Time Out! Excuse me, but I
think it would be easier if you stopped the fight while talking?
Thank you." She put the gong away and sat down.
 Andromeda glanced at Pacifica. "I believe the little spore's right",
she said, "We could hold the spells for a while. I don't have any
problems with a fight going undetermined. Do you?"
 "I say we call it a tie." Answered Pacifica. "I'm tired."
 "Yeah, me too." Smiled Andromeda. "I'm going home."
 "Shouldn't you be beating up CURE?" Asked Pacifica.
 "Nah. I was just supposed to ask them to make their site less
hateful, and if they refused, trash the place up a bit. I think it's
trashed up enough now."
 Pacifica looked around. The conference room was indeed a mess - 
- the walls and floor were full of different sized holes, slightly
burned and soaking wet. The few remaining chairs were not usable 
anymore. "Yeah, I guess. But what if they don't change their site?"
 Andromeda grinned. "Then I'll just have to come back next week."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
 Small note here, Sailor Andromeda shouts all the attack phrases,
Sailor Pacifica does not... she just concentrates and the things
happen.
 Project CURE is authentic, but all members portrayed in this fanfic
are fictional. Any resemblance to actual CURE members, either living
or Pink-Sugared, is purely coincidental.
 Project CHIP (see below) is also authentic. See the site at:
http://www.ma.iup.edu/~hrnf/sailormoon/chip/chip-main.html
 Sailor Pacifica's page can be found at
http://www.pengyo.com/
 Oh yeah: CUTE = Chibi-Usa's Terrific, Everyone!
 CULAPC = Chubi-Usa Lovers Against Project CURE
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EPILOGUE

 Rain poured down over the city. It was a dark, gloomy day - the
perfect background for a melancholic end to a doomed relationship.
However, as all Sailor Andromeda fanfics are 0% romance, no such
scene will be described here. (WAFF haters sit back down and read on.
Disappointed WAFF lovers leave.)
 Meagen was walking down the street next to Pacifica, who was dressed
in her everyday outfit. Meagen had her purple umbrella; Pacifica
didn't need one, as she could just move the rain away from over her.
 (View zooms in on the two girls. Meagen's voice is heard and it
seems that she's continuing a long speech.)
 "...and it didn't help much, anyway. They just rebuild the place
and didn't change one background on their dumb website."
 "So, are you going back there?" Asked Pacifica.
 "No way. Last time it was Moonie who convinced me to take that job.
This time, I'll tell HQ to send CULAPC someone else. I joined 
project CHIP just to be on the safe side."
 "CHIP?"
 "Chibiusa's Hair Is Pink." Explained Meagen.
 "So it is. Who cares?"
 "Exactly. In fact, who cares about Chibi-Usa at all? That's what
CHIP is about. Lots of great people there. We meet up and talk about
stuff. We're working on a list of '101 better things to do than
worry about Chibi-Usa'."
 "Good luck. I'm not much into Sailor Moon. I like Fushigi Yuggi a
lot more." Said Pacifica looking up into the clouded sky.
 "Fishing Yogi? Yeah, I used to be a big fan of that. But then I
went to a library and saw all those books that did NOT have secret
worlds hidden inside them, and it was like, a slap in the face. It
was REALITY, coming right up to me and saying 'Hello, I'm still
here'." Meagen's tone was so serious that it caused Pacifica to stop
and look at her friend. But when she saw the mischievous grin on
her face, she also smiled. Meagen added: "See my point? You can't
really judge a cartoon the same way you judge real life."
 "Yeah... I guess." The two walked silently for a few whiles, then
Meagen said, changing the subject:
 "This whole thing's had an impact on Moonie. She quit CUTE just two
days after it. And she joined CHIP with me." Pacifica was so
surprised that she lost her concentration for a while and a wave of
rain soaked her. Meagen tried to put her small umbrella over both
their heads, but Pacifica waved her off as she concentrated on
manipulating the rain away again.
 "Could've warned me", she murmured.
 Meagen blinked. "Didn't know you'd be so shocked."
 "Well, she didn't look to me like someone who could change their
opinion. She was so... fanatic."
 "Kids are like that sometimes. She's only ten now, but she's already
growing up." Meagen paused for a while. "You could join us, you know.
HQ has already warned me that my team is too small and if we don't
find some more members, they'll assign us some. I don't want to be
stuck with two Moonies. I can't carry that much." She threw a smile.
 Pacifica chuckled. Then she said: "I don't think I'd like that in
the long run. I mean, I'm not used to a Sailor Fuku. Even if they let
me keep the long skirt. I'm one of the Ace Squad and my job is
elsewhere. Besides, those anime proportions are killing me."
 "That's OK. I'm sure there's plenty of Senshi out there who have
reasonable attacks and don't have to make speeches long enough for
the enemy to kill them twice and have some tea. I'll find a good
partner, sooner or later." Meagen sighed.
 "Well, I have to be going. Everyone home is probably lost without
me."
 "Make sure you drop by and visit some time!"
 "You too. Goodbye!"
 "Bye!"
 Pacifica flew high up, waved one last time and disappeared.

 Meagen sighed again. She walked down to the corner of the street.
There, under a dark blue umbrella, waited her partner.
 "Where's Pacifica?" Asked Moonie.
 "Gone home."
 "Oh." There was a moment of silence.
 "Let's go." Said Meagen. "Somewhere, a fanfic is being written. And
we have to be in it."
 They walked away, side by side, and soon disappeared into the rain.


 THE END
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 For the Eternal Lost Lurker. I hope he gets a few laughs out of it. 

Meagen


 SailorM of
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          ^^     ^ 
  Sailor Mooo-n productions 

 visit my homepage at
http://skyscraper.fortunecity.com/lessthan/220/gate.html 
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