CAN'T LET GO
(a fanfic by Cass & GSL)

Authors' Notes aka stuff we wanna say now or we might end up being sued or 
flamed:
We have written this story out of fun. In no way do we own the
characters of this story, they belong to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan
Inc, Shonen Sunday Comics, and Viz Video.  This story is meant for
entertainment, non-profit purposes.

Comments, criticisms and MSTs are welcome. You can reach us at
chiaty@singnet.com.sg
You can view this at http://web.singnet.com.sg/~chiaty/fanfics.htm

We also would like to thank our pre-readers, Justin Baugh,
Jed Bidwell, Arthur Edwards and Maurice Phillip.

[ ] = dream sequence
< > = character's thoughts
{ } = conversations in chinese

WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY: Akane and Ryouga's romance is progressing 
smoothly.  Shampoo is tortured by Mousse as revenge for causing him to lose 
his 20-20 vision, losing the respect of his peers and the humiliation he had 
suffered.  Ranma realised he loved Ukyou and proposed.  Ukyou's reply is to 
cause him to become a quadriplegic.  Thus, ending the flashback, as retold 
by Ukyou.

Part 6A: Beating Hearts
-----------------------


	Ranma stared back unblinkingly at Ukyou as she concluded her recount of the 
events in the past year.  Nothing she could possibly say could hurt him now. 
  He was already in his own personal hell, reminding him how it happened 
certainly wouldn't make him feel worse.  He would have told her to save her 
breath - that was, if he could speak.

	His lips twitched.  A few days ago, just thinking about what he had lost 
would make him want to cry or bite his tongue and bleed to death.  But 
now... he felt like smiling at his own joke.

	"Aw, did I make you feel sad?  Or are you angry with me?  I'm sorry.  Will 
you forgive me?" said Ukyou in a gentle, sincere voice.  But her cruel 
laughter showed just how apologetic she was.

	The two teens stared at each other, or rather Ukyou stared at her fiance, 
relishing how unRanma-like he had become while Ranma just looked past her as 
if she was invisible.  He just wished that the "invisible" girl was mute.  
Minutes trickled by as the two remained motionless so much so that they 
might have been mistaken for statues.  Only the beating of their hearts 
proved evidence to the contrary.

	Knock.  Knock.

	Ukyou jumped at the sudden noise, breaking the spell in the room.      
Without so much as a last glance at Ranma's direction, she moved out of the 
room and started down the stairs.  Her hands brushed past the handrails and 
she frowned at the dust on her fingertips.  <I really have to clean the 
place regularly, not just the restaurant below.  But where can I find the 
time?  I'm all tapped out running a business, practicing my martial arts and 
looking after that invalid.  Because of _him_, Ucchans is only open several 
hours a day.  I won't be able to make a decent profit if this keeps up.  I 
should have just killed that pig-tailed bastard in China.  Why didn't I?  
Then I could have started anew in some other town where there is less 
competition and definitely less highly skilled, insane martial artists.>

	Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

	Brought out of her introspection by the sound, Ukyou plastered a hostess' 
smile on her face and opened the shop door.  "Oh, hello Kasumi, Nabiki, 
Akane."

	"Good morning, Ukyou," said Kasumi.

	"Hi," replied Nabiki curtly.

	Akane remained silent, her worried glances at the general direction of the 
staircase, spoke volumes.

	Always polite, Kasumi continued, "We're so sorry to bother you so early in 
the morning."

	"It's alright.  Have you eaten breakfast?  I can cook some okonomiyaki for 
you."

	"Oh, that's so kind of you, Ukyou but we have eaten at home.  Can we visit 
Ranma for awhile before my sisters have to attend classes?"

	"Sure.  It'll be good for him to see some other people besides me," 
commented Ukyou as she led them up the stairs.  "Just..." she hesitated and 
turned back to face the other girls.  "Just... don't give him 'pity' looks.  
He absolutely detests that."

	When they reached the top of the stairs, Ukyou signalled them to be quiet.  
She slowly opened the bedroom door and popped her head in.  "Ranchan, I've 
got a surprise for you," she called out in a singsong voice.  The she opened 
the door fully, letting the Tendo sisters file in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	Kasumi walked in first, sensing Akane's hesitation.  When they had first 
heard the news that Ranma was back and paralyzed from the neck down, Akane 
immediately walked out, wanting to visit him.  Two minutes later, Kasumi 
found her standing outside their home, caught between her desire to see him 
and the fear of what she might find.  <Not that I blame her.  If I'm her, 
what will I do?  Will I visit my ex-fiance, even though he broke my heart by 
leaving with someone else?  And what will I tell my new boyfriend?>

	And that was why she had arranged for the three of them to visit Ranma and 
Ukyou together before school.  Her little sister needed someone to accompany 
her and that person isn't Ryouga.  And if she felt uncomfortable, they could 
leave quickly, citing school as an excuse.

	Kasumi scanned the room quickly before her gaze fell on the bed and the 
figure sitting on it.  <Ranma.>  He was propped up against the headboard 
with pillows supporting his back.  A blanket covered the lower half of his 
body.  His hands rested on top of the blanket.  The unnaturalness of the 
situation hit her like a bomb.  Remembering her manners, she smiled and 
greeted him.

	No reply.  In fact, Ranma didn't even seem to know she was there.  Her 
smile faltered.  She moved closer, thinking that maybe he would react once 
she invaded his personal space.  Struck by the paleness of his face and the 
blank stare, Kasumi recoiled slightly.  <What happened in those few months 
he was away, to turn him into this... being in front of her?>

	A tear sprang to her eyes, as she remembered the Ranma of the past.  A boy 
who was lively, cheerful and always, _always_ the victor.  Staring at this 
unmoving shell of Ranma, Kasumi felt an urge to hold him and reassure him 
that everything was going to be alright, that she was there and so was 
Akane.  That they would _make_ it right.

   However, she wasn't sure if they could.  A sense of hopelessness filled 
her heart.  She didn't know how to bring him out of the cataconic state, or 
if they could ever bring him back.  <What can I do?> her mind cried out to 
the heavens.

	Her eyes brimmed with tears but she refused to cry.  <Ranma doesn't want to 
be pitied.>  She forced a cheerful smile on her face and reached out to grab 
his hands but paused halfway.  A tiny voice was screaming for her to get out 
now, lest she get affected by Ranma's depression.  That she should grab 
Akane and Nabiki and run.  Pretend that Ranma never came back, that he was 
somewhere perfectly healthy, mastering some new skill.  "Pretend everything 
is right with the world," the voice persuaded.

	Kasumi firmly squashed the voice and placed her own hand on top of Ranma's. 
  She had only hesitated for two seconds but it had not gone unnoticed by 
Ukyou and Nabiki.

	"Your hands are cold!"  She rubbed Ranma's right hand vigourously and 
started talking about small inconsequential things.  Like the new painting 
she had bought from the mall and Dr. Tofu's antics yesterday when she went 
to return a book.  All the while, she avoided looking at Ranma's eyes, not 
wanting to see that blank stare.  Ukyou took Kasumi's lead and rubbed 
Ranma's left hand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	To Akane, the world had faded away, leaving only Ranma and herself.  Her 
gaze raked over his entire being with a fine toothcomb, noticing that his 
hair was oily and in need of a wash, that his fingernails were getting too 
long and that the long sleeved pj top he was wearing failed to conceal how 
gaunt he was now.  His face was no longer open and expressive, his eyes held 
none of the former fire and pride.  She froze at the foot of the bed, 
wanting to be like Kasumi, speaking to Ranma as if he was perfectly healthy, 
not bothered by his empty gaze.  She swallowed nervously and tried to say 
something cheerful and mild.  What came out was a strangled cry of his name.

	Surprised, Kasumi stopped her monologue and turned her head towards Akane.

	"Ranma, you idiot," whispered Akane, not caring that she had an audience.  
"Why were you so careless?  Don't you know that you're not invincible?"  
Memories of Ranma defeating his opponents and walking away with injuries 
that would heal within the week, played in her mind.  <I thought you were.>

	Hot tears streaked down her cheeks and she couldn't wipe them away fast 
enough.  She hated crying, detested the feeling of a runny nose and the 
sight of puffy, red eyes.  And she hated Ranma for making her cry.  "Damn 
you, Ranma."  Akane glared at him through teary eyes.  "How could you break 
my heart by leaving?  And break it again by coming back?"

	"Akane..."  Kasumi stood up, wanting to comfort her sister.

	"Don't."  Akane shrugged off Kasumi's hand on her arm, screaming, "Leave me 
alone.  I'm not upset!  He's nothing to me!" and ran out of the room.

	"Let her cool off.  She needs time to absorb it all," commented Nabiki from 
her position near the window.

	Kasumi looked at the open door and back at Nabiki, not knowing what to do.  
When had her life spiralled out of control?

	Nabiki nodded once at Kasumi and asked Ukyou, "I'm kinda of thirsty, shall 
we go downstairs for some drinks?"

	"Huh?"  Ukyou tore her gaze from Ranma.  "Oh, uh sure."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	"So how did Ranma get hurt?" asked Nabiki without inflection, as if she was 
asking something mundane, like the weather.

	Kasumi turned to regard Nabiki curiously.  <Doesn't she already know?  With 
all her contacts, I thought that as soon as Ucchans is re-opened, she will 
hear about it.  Maybe she just wants to hear the news directly from the 
source> her mind reasoned.  <But then, if she already knew about Ranma's 
return, why didn't she tell us earlier?  To protect Akane?>  For the 
umpteenth time since she took up the role of mother, Kasumi wished that 
Nabiki's thoughts and feelings were easier to read.

	Ukyou took a sip of her tea and started her tale.  "After we left Nerima, 
we travelled to places in China.  Until we reached this small town Jing Lai 
Fei Si.  We settled down there for months when Ranchan started to get 
impatient and restless.  You see, life in the town is pretty slow, peaceful 
and idyllic.  A perfect home for me but Ranchan craves adventure.  That and 
the fact that his skills are improving at too slow a pace for his liking 
made him really... anxious and restless.  So he began to train with a 
fervour.  I mean, he is really dedicated to the Art and all but at that 
time, I thought he was obsessed.  He trained from 4 in the morning to 2am.  
Sometimes, I'll find him wide-awake in the middle of the night, thinking up 
new moves.  At first I thought nothing of it.  I thought, you know, once he 
was really exhausted, he would stop.  But the weeks dragged on and I got 
really worried.  I..."  Ukyou broke off, to dab at her tears with a napkin.

	"I told him to slow down, warned him that he was pushing his body to the 
limits but he didn't listen.  He didn't listen," repeated Ukyou as she 
stared at Kasumi, beseeching the elder girl to believe her.

	"He would just smile in that cocky way and told me not to worry.  Maybe I 
should have tried harder.  Force him to rest.  Maybe if I had, he wouldn't 
be like this now!" she wept openly.

	Kasumi patted her back and made soothing noises.  Out of the corner of her 
eye, she saw Nabiki opening her mouth as if to ask another question.  Kasumi 
quickly silenced that attempt with a disapproving glance.

	When Ukyou's sobs lessened, Nabiki prompted her to continue.

	"Where was I?  Oh, yeah I remember now.  One morning, he left as usual to 
his spot on top of this hill in the mining area.  I was still asleep.  When 
he didn't come back for breakfast, I wasn't surprised.  Sometimes he would 
get so absorbed that he would forget the time.  But when he didn't show up 
for lunch, I went looking for him.  But there was no one on top of the 
cliff.  I felt this weird vibe that something had happened to him.  That was 
when I looked down from the edge and saw Ranchan lying there several hundred 
metres below, his bloodied limbs spread in an unnatural angle.

	"When I reached him, he was scarcely breathing.  He looked so pale despite 
all the blood."  Ukyou's tears began to flow.  "I went running for help and 
together with a few villagers, we managed to carry him to the nearest 
hospital.

	"The doctor told me that it was a miracle that Ranchan was still alive but 
his spinal cord has been severed.  Above C4, I think.  The doctor also said 
that he would forever be paralyzed from the neck down.  I remember thinking, 
'this is Ranchan, we're talking about.  He'll be on his feet in a week, 
maybe 2, tops.'  But..."

	"What about his speech?" questioned Kasumi gently.

	"We don't know.  The doctors couldn't figure it out.  They said there was 
nothing physically wrong with his voicebox."  She shrugged.  "They think he 
lost his voice because of the shock of becoming a quadriplegic.  I've been 
trying to get him to talk.  But you saw the state he is in.  He's retreated 
into a shell and I can't bring him out!"

	"Why did this happen to us?" whispered Ukyou.  "We were so happy in Jing 
Lai Fei Si.  He even proposed to me a week prior to...  It's not fair!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Minutes later, the Tendo sisters have already left.)

	Ukyou skipped up the steps to Ranma's room, like a child who had been given 
ice-cream.  <If I had known when I was still a kid, that acting comes 
naturally to me, I would have picked up a script instead of a spatula.  
Those sisters actually bought my story!  And I thought Akane and Nabiki 
would give me trouble.  Ah well, it will be easier this way.  No need to 
harm the innocents.>

	"Saotome, they've gone now.  You can drop that 'I'm in my own little world' 
act now."  She banged the door shut and walked the few feet necessary to 
reach him.  This was the part she loved the most, ridiculing him.

	He was a marital artist, physical torture wouldn't hurt him, much.  Indeed, 
he got enough of that simply being Saotome Ranma in a crazy town called 
Nerima.  Yet he remained unbroken.  No, it had to be something more complex 
than simply whipping his body, especially the most sensitive parts, and then 
throwing salt at the wounds.

	Oh, she didn't realize that at first.  Her initial plan was simple - 
challenge the Saotome men who had ruined her life to a duel, a duel to the 
death.  Too bad the plan had one fatal flaw - what if one of them defeated 
her instead.  Thus in the middle of her first duel with Ranma, she was 
forced to abandon that idea.

	Instead, she proceeded to implement Plan B 'Pretend to be attracted to 
Ranma, learn his weakness, then defeat, torture and kill him and the man who 
spawned him'.  (Yes, it was a long title, quite a mouthful actually, but it 
wasn't as if she would tell her plan to anyone, no?  So who will complain?)  
But watching the interactions between him and the other people in his life, 
she soon learned something crucial.  That the very essence of Ranma was 
cheerful tenacity.  Nothing gets him demoralized for long.  His pride and 
confidence would never let him give up on a fight or on life in general.  In 
addition, no matter how badly Akane treated him, or how often Nabiki used 
him as a money-spinning tool, he would just crawl back for more.  That 
realization caused her to dump Plan B.  She wanted to make him suffer, to 
make him yearn for death.  She wanted a complete disintegration of his 
spirit and that could not be achieved by mere whippings of the physical 
form.

	No, the heart would have to be whipped.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Meanwhile...)

	Nabiki strolled down the sidewalk, a breeze ruffling her hair and sent her 
skirt flying up an inch or two.  However, she didn't even seem to notice as 
numerous thoughts have taken up residence in her head and were all banging 
for attention, since she left Ucchans.  Well, to be more exact, these 
thoughts had moved in after Ukyou's unexpected phone call the night before, 
that revealed the barest of facts (they were back a few days ago and that 
'Ranchan' was severely injured).  But these thoughts were less noisy then, 
making sounds that were as quiet as the hammering of nails into a 
neighbour's wall. You hear those hammering sounds, they irritate you but 
after awhile you can block them out.

	She had managed to block out those noises in her head last night.  But she 
couldn't do that now - her instincts wouldn't let her.  For something was 
'off' or felt 'wrong' during the whole visit.  But it wasn't anything she 
could describe or analyze in detail.  It was just... a feeling.  Something 
about the way Ukyou looked at Ranma...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	Ukyou leaned down, her face scant inches away from his and whispered 
conspiractorically, "I saw you, saw how you reacted when Akane walked into 
the room.  And when she started crying..."  Finding no emotions playing on 
his face, she frowned.  How was she supposed to taunt him when he refused to 
be baited?  She wanted to discover infinite sorrow and regret on his face.  
To find Ranma crying because he would never be good enough to warrant 
Akane's love now.  To know that Akane visited him because of pity and hate 
Akane, hate himself for it.  And to see through Akane and everyone else's 
eyes how pitiful he truly was now.  Because perhaps then, he would feel the 
same amount of pain she had felt.  Maybe then, she would be able to forget 
her past and move on.

	Ukyou moved even closer and he could smell the scent of jasmine tea from 
her breath.  "You know what I think?  Poor Akane will be feeling so sorry 
about the way she ran out on you, when you are so helpless, that she will 
come back to visit.  Often.  Oh, let's not forget about oblivious Kasumi 
too.  What with me so busy with the shop and all, they might have to change 
your diapers or bathe you.  How would you like that?"

	His blue eyes glinted with barely suppressed anger.  <Breathe.  Calm down, 
don't let her get to you> he repeated to himself.

	The okonomiyaki chef pretended to look puzzled.  "I thought it was a wet 
dream of boys and men to have beautiful women looking after their every 
needs.  Think about the bath, Saotome, you'll be naked and wet and they will 
be touching you EVERYWHERE."  She leered at him.

	Ranma growled, a sound that could only be heard in his mind.

	"But it is too bad you won't be able to feel it!" laughed Ukyou.  "Make no 
mistake though," her expression turning serious and extremely deadly, "If 
they so much as suspect what really happened, I won't hesitate to kill 
them."

	The clock chimed eight times, signalling that it was time to let the hungry 
customers in.  Ukyou stood up and ran her fingers through her long hair.  
"Don't make me prove that I'm not a liar, Saotome," she warned as she walked 
out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	Nabiki shivered slightly, although not due to the cold morning breeze.

	<If only I hadn't removed the watch I had on Ucchans.  Ukyou would have to 
come back sooner or later, even if it is to sell off her restaurant.  If I 
had maintained surveillance, then I wouldn't be walking in blind today.  
Some use my associates turned out to be!  They didn't even know Ucchans had 
re-opened for business 3 days ago!  Incompetent fools!  Looks like I have to 
hire more eyes and ears.>

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	As the door swung shut, Ranma sucked in a lungful of air.  Somewhere along 
her one-sided conversation, he had forgotten to breathe.  He didn't bother 
to ask himself why this was happening to him or where did the Ucchan he fell 
in love with, disappeared to.  No, those questions were asked countless 
times before and he was sick of them.  Sick of not knowing the answers, sick 
of being alive.

	Now, all his thoughts were on the Tendo sisters (Akane, Kasumi and even 
Nabiki).  <I can't get them into this mess.  They didn't do anything to 
Ukyou.  And Ukyou wouldn't be threatening to kill them if not for their 
connection to me.  I have dragged them into this!  My fault, all mine!  Why 
can't she just kill me.  I don't wanna...>  Exhausted from the morning's 
events, Ranma closed his eyes and dreamt of the days long past, when he 
could run and jump.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(The next day)

	"So Akane, what are you doing after school?" asked Nabiki as she stood near 
the school gate, surveying the steady stream of students going past, eager 
to get our of the stifling environment.  Her eyes scanned the crowd for a 
short, wavy haired boy.

	"Why do you ask?" questioned Akane suspiciously.

	"Kasumi wants to know if she has to cook your share of dinner," was the 
innocent reply.

	"Oh," answered Akane in a mild tone, all the self-righteous arguments of 
freedom and 'mind your own business' forgotten.  She stared at her feet, 
ashamed of how suspicious she was of her own sister.  "Well uh, tell her 
I'll be home for dinner.  Thanks."  She adjusted the strap of her school bag 
and walked away.

	"And just what will you be doing from now till then?"

	Akane stopped and turned around, mentally going through the possible 
half-truths or lies she could get away with.  Nabiki turned her head 
slightly, looking at her sister straight in the eye for the first time 
during this whole conversation.

	Akane's lie died on her lips.  She held the eye contact for several long 
moments, reveling in the warmth of the sisterhood, allowing Nabiki's concern 
to temporarily wash over her confused and anguished soul like a soothing 
balm.  She couldn't lie to her sister.

	"I'm going to visit Ranma.  After what I said and done..."  <That was no 
way to treat him.  He's already like that and I'm still blaming him for 
everything> she berated herself.  She managed a wan smile and said simply, 
"I'm ok." <Or I will be> her mind added.

	Nabiki nodded, seemingly reassured by Akane's words.  Lightning quick, her 
right hand reached for Akane's bluish black hair.  Akane jerked back 
reflexedly but with a grin on her face, she stopped moving.  Nabiki wrapped 
her forefinger and thumb with a lock of Akane's hair and gave it a playful 
tug, something she used to do when they were mere toddlers.  "You know, this 
was much easier when you had long hair."  If possible, Akane's grin became 
bigger and Nabiki smiled back - for an instant.

	Then her cold, calculating mask slipped into place once more and with a 
simple "Bye" Nabiki walked off.  (She had earlier seen her quarry sneaking 
past the gate, trying to avoid paying up his debt.)

	But it was enough for Akane, she knew her sister cared.  Nabiki might not 
broadcast that love from a satellite dish or even display the affection 
physically, but it was there.  The youngest Tendo daughter smiled but that 
smile immediately faded as she recalled where she was headed to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(In Ranma's bedroom)

	Akane shifted nervously on her chair set near the foot of Ranma's bed.  She 
didn't know what to say to her ex-fiance.  No, that's not right.  She knew 
what she _wanted_ to tell him but if she opened her mouth, it would all come 
out as a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions.  That and Ukyou <the current 
fiance> was perched on the other side of the bed, braiding Ranma's long 
hair.

	"Hi Ranma, how are you doing today?  The weather has been perfect these 
past few days - sunny and breezy.  No sudden downpours or things like that.  
So maybe you're not a water magnet anymore.  That's good, you can go out and 
not turn into a girl.  Oh, I forgot you got cured, isn't that right?  So now 
you can- " rambled Akane, before her brain caught up to her mouth.

	A pregnant pause.

	"Uh, see any good TV shows lately?  There's this drama serial called 'Beach 
Boys' and it is really good."

	Ranma didn't respond.  No smile, no yawn, no nothing.

	"It's really popular.  I never go out during the time it is aired.  Neither 
does Yuka or Sayuri.  Even Kasumi is a fan.  When the show is on, Daddy has 
to call her twice before she will respond!  She is that hooked!"  Akane 
smiled warmly at Ranma.  A look of disappointment flitted past her features 
as she noticed his lack of response.

	Faking a cheerful tone, she bravely forged on, "Well, it is a comedy, with 
not much romance, set at a small beach resort.  There are two guys who are 
bumming around because it is summer and found jobs
at- "  Unable to ignore Ranma's blank expression any longer, her eyes began 
to mist and she couldn't remember what the serial about.  But she had to 
remember.  It was her favourite show.  She watched it faithfully, even 
discussed the latest episode with her Yuri and Sayuri, so why couldn't she 
remember?  All she could see now was the present Ranma, his empty gaze 
drawing her in, like the black hole sucking in a star.  "There is a girl... 
working there.  Her name is .... her name is..."

	Sharp raps at the front door forced Ukyou to leave the room, her furtive 
glances back at the two teens before shutting the bedroom door, clearly 
revealed her unease.

	Akane turned around at the sound of the door closing.  <Where did Ukyou 
go?> she wondered.  She couldn't speak freely when the chef was around but 
now that they were alone...

	<Now that we are alone, what am I going to say?  That I'm glad he's back?  
That seeing his face once more was all I wanted?  Or shake him furiously 
until he tells me why he left without saying a word?  Is it because you 
don't love me, never even liked me that much?  You didn't even bother to 
visit me in the hospital.  Was I just a burden, a nuisance to you?  Was I!>

	<No, there is no point in dredging up the past, it would only bring more 
pain.  There is no 'us' anymore, maybe there never was.  But that is not 
important now, all that matters is Ranma's health.  I'm just here as a 
friend.>

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Meanwhile downstairs, the following scene was playing out)

	"Dr Tofu! What brings you here?"

	He smiled and pushed his spectacles higher on his nose.  "I heard about 
Ranma.  Can I visit him?"

	"Of course, come on in."  The young doctor had barely stepped in when Ukyou 
suddenly exclaimed, "No, wait!  Now is not a good time.  Kasumi is coming in 
later."

	<Tendo Kasumi> his mind repeated joyously before it had a nuclear melt 
down.  Grabbing the nearest thing, which was Ukyou, he led her in a waltz 
around the room, bumping into chairs and tables.  However, Tofu felt no 
pain, that was the power his goddess, Kasumi, held over him.  Ukyou, on the 
other hand, had no such painkiller.

	"Ouch!  Ow!  Hey, watch it!  That's my favourite pot," yelled Ukyou while 
trying to break free of his embrace.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Back to the drama in the bedroom)

	<I'm just here as a friend> Akane reminded herself.

	"Ranma, listen to me.  I know how terrible you must be feeling now about 
your, uh condition.  But you can't wallow in despair forever.   The Ranma I 
know will not give up so easily.  The Saotome Ranma I know is arrogant, 
egotistical and chauvinistic but he is also brave and perseveres to the end. 
  Whenever he is defeated, he will get right back on his feet and fight 
again.  He never gives up.  Prove it to me that you are still Saotome Ranma. 
  Prove it to the doctors and the world."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

	They were waltzing near the entrance now, seizing the chance presented to 
her, she pushed him out to the street.

	Shutting the door, she missed seeing Tofu kneeling in front of a lamp post 
and serenading it.  "Oh my love, my darling.  I hunger for your touch, a 
long lonely time..."

	"Stupid fool.  Acting so crazily because of love," grumbled Ukyou as she 
ran her fingers through her hair and re-tied her ribbon.

	<But you wish someone would be in love with you so much that the person 
would do crazy, ridiculous things, all for you.  Don't you?>

	"Oh, shut up." whispered Ukyou as she walked up to the bedroom.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

	Akane stared beseechingly at him.  "Please Ranma, it hurts so much to see 
you this way.  Please... I want my Ranma back."  Her eyes began misting but 
not before she caught his gaze flickering to her.

	"Yes!"  Cupping his face with her hands, she forced him to look at her.  
"You are listening!"  Beaming with unspoken joy, she wanted to hug him.  But 
something held her back, perhaps it was because too much had happened 
between them that would not be so easily repaired or because of Ranma's 
frightened look.  Whatever the reason, Akane turned and sat back in her 
original seat, her hands itching to hold Ranma once again.

	"I'm afraid visiting hours are over, Akane.  Ran-chan looks tired.  And I 
have to open my restaurant soon," explained Ukyou as she came in.

	"Okay.  I'll, uh come back some other day.  Bye, Ranma."  Akane smiled 
cheerfully at him.

	"I'll see you out."

	Akane nodded.

----------------------------------------------------------------------(Few 
days later, Furinkan High)

	Had she betrayed Ranma? That was the million dollar question in her mind. 
After establishing and accepting the fact that he was back, what was she 
going to do about it? Or if she should do anything at all?

	Somehow Akane felt that she had betrayed him. Ranma was afterall her 
ex-fiance, although they never acknowledged that they were in love as all 
fiances normally were. And there was the fact that he was with Ukyou the 
whole time when he went missing. Nope, she shouldn't feel any guilt towards 
him. If anything, it was his fault for leaving.

	Idly she thought back of the day that changed their lives. What would 
happen if she didn't block the blow for Ryouga? It was silly when she 
thought back to it. Ryouga could have withstood anything thrown at him, why 
didn't she run away when she saw the blow coming? The answer was simple, she 
was a martial artist and she wouldn't let anyone come to harm if she could 
stop it. In that instant, she didn't have the time to think, it was a reflex 
action to save a person, not just Ryouga.

	As her legs carried her out of the school compounds, she heard her name 
being called. Turning around, she saw Ryouga alighting from a taxi. Smiling 
slightly, she waited for him to approach her.

	Just then, a bunch of roses was stashed in front of her, blocking her view. 
For a moment, she wondered when Ryouga could move so fast. No, it couldn't 
be him.  There was only one person who had such fast reflexes. And the 
answer sent her heart beating in an increasing rate.

	"For thy most beautiful woman in the universe, even these flowers pale 
before you, my beauteous Akane." Kuno said as he suddenly appeared beside 
her. Taking her hand, he continued, "Red roses represent affection and this 
is my most precious gift to you." Without blinking an eye, he attempted to 
kiss her hand when an umbrella knocked his hand away. The hold broken, 
Akane's hand fell back to her side.

	"What do you think you are doing!" Ryouga hollered as he pulled Akane 
nearer to him.

	"Infidel! How dare you put your arms around Akane?" Kuno fumed, brandishing 
his Kendo stick.

	"I'm her boyfriend and if you make any moves on her, I swear I will..."

	"What! Boyfriend? I forbid it. No one can come between Akane and I, her one 
true love." Seeing that Ryouga was still holding on to Akane, he charged. 
The fighting was short. His charge was met with a kick and he was on his way 
across to another part of Nerima.

	Akane was surprising silent through the whole confrontation, impassive to 
be exact. It was as if she didn't know that two men were fighting over her 
or she was a party to the affair. Her mind on other things, she failed to 
notice that Ryouga was calling her. "I'm sorry Ryouga, you were saying?"

	"Are you alright? You looked so sad, has Kuno been bothering you? If he 
has..."

	"No, Ryouga. I..." How could she say that she was disappointed that the 
flowers were not from Ranma? Even the knowledge that it was physically 
impossible had not stopped her from hoping. "I had something on my mind. 
Don't worry about it," she conceded, pulling Ryouga along on the sidewalk.

	"Something is disturbing you, I can see it. You can tell me. I may not be 
of much help, but you'll feel better by sharing it with someone." Ryouga 
persisted, holding tight to her hand as they walked down the street.

	"It's nothing." Meeting Ryouga's eyes, she gave a warm smile to reassure 
him. "Really, nothing."

	He didn't press on. It hurt him that she was not sharing her problems with 
him. And what was worse was that he knew what her problem was. Him, that was 
the only answer that his logical side could come up with. Ranma has 
reappeared again, screwing his life.

	A heavy silence ensued between them.

	<Maybe if I hadn't been that cold to Ranma, then he would not have picked a 
fight with Ryouga. Then I would not get injured and Ranma would not run 
away. And we would be like before.> Akane thought wistfully, then chided 
herself later. <No, I shouldn't be thinking of that. I'm happy with Ryouga 
now.> Happy, really happy, she added to reassure herself.

	<Is Akane thinking about Ranma? Does she still have feelings for him? Will 
she run to his arms and forget about me?> His mind was whirling, what would 
Akane do now, what would he do for the matter? Would he give up Akane? But 
Ranma was paralyzed, he could never give Akane happiness. Then his mind took 
an about turn, <Why should I give her up? Akane is mine.>.

	"Akane, I love you." Ryouga said as he pulled them to a stop.

	For a moment, she thought she saw Ranma speaking those words to her. Then, 
the next instant, she was thrown back to reality. Reproaching herself, she 
sought to convince Ryouga and maybe herself. "I love you too."

	He smiled so sweetly when he heard the words and guilt consumed her. 
Shaking herself mentally, she allowed herself to drown in his gaze. There 
was something in his eyes that she couldn't recognize, it just alerted her 
that Ryouga was not his usual self. She didn't dwell on it just basking into 
the little moment that they have here. Impulsively, she tiptoed and gave him 
a light peck on the cheeks.

	A reddish hue accentuated Ryouga's features. Akane was giggling as she 
watched Ryouga change colours. Then, realizing that she has actually kissed 
him in the middle of the street, followed suit.

	Ryouga recovered earlier and tried to distract Akane from her 
embarrassment. "Where are we?"

	"Uh...," Akane began to look around.

	"Hey, isn't that Ucchans?"

	Akane nodded. Did her subconsciousness bring her here? Or was it fate? 
"Ryouga, since we're here, why don't we visit Ranma?"

	He wasn't too happy of the prospect. Suspicion and jealousy came forth with 
it. But he couldn't say no to Akane. He nodded, trying to look not too 
unhappy and tried to ignore the big smile on her face when he gave her his 
answer.

	Ucchans wasn't that crowded at the moment. But there were a couple of 
customers to keep the proprietor busy. However she brightened when Akane and 
Ryouga turned up, holding hands no less. Now how would Ranma feel if he got 
to see this delicate moment, she wondered. Greetings were exchanged and the 
couple excused themselves to visit Ranma.

	As Ryouga opened the door to Ranma's room, Akane pulled her hands away from 
him. It hurt him, and a rising uneasiness grew inside him, especially since 
he didn't have the comfort or reassurance of her hands in his.

	She moved quickly to the bed where Ranma lay. He followed in a much slower 
pace, pondering over his new feelings for his long-time rival. It was weird 
to see Ranma lying there, being so helpless. He greeted him, and for a 
moment he was expecting a retort, a shout "pig boy". It was silly because 
Ranma couldn't talk and he felt bad, because some part of him still bore 
hatred for the invalid.

	From the corner of his eyes, he could see Akane take a seat next to the 
bed. She was talking to him, his rival, speaking of trivial things. This was 
the first time he saw her being so gentle towards Ranma. Every word, every 
action was carefully thought out so as to not discomfort him. Sometimes, he 
would join in Akane's monotone but mostly because of Akane's prodding. Not 
that he did't want to say anything to Ranma, he just didn't know what to 
say. Should he jump up and say that Akane and him were a couple now?

	Every now and then when Akane thought that he didn't see it, she would 
brush against Ranma's hand. And that was the worst feeling he ever had. This 
Ranma was even worse than before, at least in the past, he could still fight 
him for any injustice he felt. Now, he couldn't even dislike him without his 
conscience pricking him.

	Silence consumed the room. Akane was looking at him, a bit hesitant and 
unsure. He hoped that she was going to suggest going back home. But 
disappointment met him.

	"Is it okay if I talk to Ranma alone?" She was giving him the pleading 
look. His emotions were screaming "no", didn't she hear that? He doubted it 
'cos she continued her request dotted with a "please". God help him for he 
couldn't reject her even though every fibre of his being was against the 
idea.

	She watched him leave the room. The sadness in his eyes had not evaded her. 
She was sorry for hurting him but this was something that she had to do.

	Turning back to Ranma, she met his eyes again, now holding his gaze without 
fear of being discovered. Tentatively, she touched his hand, clasping it. 
Looking at him, a million things rushed into her mind, things that she 
wanted to tell him but couldn't, even if they were alone.

	She started speaking again, "We're trying to contact Uncle Saotome, the 
letter that he had passed to Ukyou was the last clue as to his whereabouts. 
But China is so big, Nabiki is trying her best." Personally, she doubted 
that they would be able to find the elder Saotome unless he came to them. 
The other elder Saotome was another matter. That was a tough question that 
they faced. As Ranma's mother, she has the right to know of his well being, 
but wouldn't it be cruel that she be told that her son was bedridden for 
life. It would be better that she was left with the hope that her son was a 
strong and manly man.

	Ranma didn't show any outward signs on the mention of his father. Except 
that Akane knew that he wasn't that indifferent. The boy didn't know how to 
express his feelings, just like Ryouga or even she herself.

	As her thoughts drifted to Ryouga, she retracted her hand from Ranma's. She 
had made her decision months ago, and she wasn't about to regret it. He was 
a good man, more than she could ask for. What she had with Ryouga, Ranma was 
never able to give her even if he wasn't paralyzed. What she needed now was 
proper closure.

	Her heart was being torn apart, feeling the worst of what she was about to 
say. "Ranma, I forgive you for the ki blow but I don't think I can forgive 
you for leaving. You can't imagine how much it hurt me when you left without 
a word. I..." On Ranma's face, she could see the change in expression and 
suddenly she found herself unable to continue.

	Turning away, she attempted to pacify her raging heart. But she had to 
carry on, to tell him how she felt. And Ryouga's presence behind the door 
was giving her the courage that she needed. "A lot of things happened when 
you were gone. I even went to China to find you but it was no use. I can't 
count the number of places I went to. All I know was at the end of it, I was 
so tired and homesick." Pausing, she continued, "Why did you have to 
leave?!" She was looking at him, seeking answers from his eyes. She wanted 
to hear from him but that was impossible. But whatever answer he could give 
her now wasn't going to make a difference.

	"During those months, Ryouga and I had come closer." An anonymous anger 
rose within her, as if she was blaming him for anything that went wrong. But 
accompanying it was a sense of grief, a loss. Hot tears threatened to flow 
as she progressed, "Father had disclaimed our engagement. Although we 
never...," she was choking back the tears, "I..." In reality, she wasn't 
that against the engagement as she thought she was. "Our engagement is truly 
off."  She couldn't bear to look at him. She could already feel the weight 
of his feelings and it sank her. "I'm sorry, Ranma." She whispered and fled 
out of the room.

	Ryouga was waiting just outside the door, miraculously unlost. She had 
taught him well and it paid off. She flung herself at him and cried at his 
arms, holding him tight. "I've told him. I'm sorry Ryouga."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Nekohanten, 6 a.m.)

	"Argh!" A feminine voice screamed in frustration. Shampoo tried again to 
break free of the ropes that tied her hands to her back. It just wouldn't 
break and she believed that her hands should be bruised with red streaks 
already.

	Mousse had moved her into this make-shift cage that she was in. A cage that 
he claimed to have made specially for her. He didn't try to do anything to 
her, it was like he gave up torturing her since he couldn't bring himself to 
act as he wanted. Every morning he would bring her food and leave as quickly 
as he appeared.

	She didn't mind it a bit except that it was awfully quiet and dark in the 
basement of the Nekohanten. With her hand permanently tied behind her, her 
shoulders were aching like hell. As the days grew longer, she wondered what 
Mousse wished to do with her. Was he going to trap her forever in this 
basement?

	Steady footsteps were heard, sending shivers down her spine. Quickly she 
laid on her side, pretending to be asleep and awaited for Mousse to make his 
daily presence.

	True enough, he arrived minutes later. Fishing a key from his robe, he 
unlocked the steel cage and walked in, leaving a loaf of bread next to 
Shampoo's side.

	As she laid there motionlessly, she sweared she could feel Mousse's gaze on 
her body, not the lustful type but one of longing. Even though her eyes were 
shut tight, an image of Mousse appeared on her mind. His hand was floating 
above her body, desiring to touch her but didn't dare to. She imagined what 
he was feeling, a desperate want to hold her very much like their wedding 
night. Somehow, at this thought, she didn't know how she felt for him.

	No one dared to make a noise, only their breathing betrayed the silence of 
the room. Mousse hadn't left yet, which was unusual. Her emotions were in a 
total mess, and she just felt like opening her eyes. Why, she asked herself 
but had no answer to it. Acting on the impulse, her eyelids fluttered open.

	He was trying to absorb the view before him, memorizing all her features, 
her purple crown of hair, her lips that was so lush and inviting, her little 
nose and her closed eyes which slowly opened.

	Staring at the depths of his eyes, she could feel his confusion. Then his 
eyes softened to reflect the yearning and desperation that he felt. Drawn to 
the pair of eyes, a sudden realization struck her, he had a pair of the most 
beautiful eyes.

	A sudden coldness on her cheek alerted her that his hand was on her and she 
flinched back slightly. His soft touch warmed her lonely heart and when she 
didn't move further away from him, he returned to caressing her cheek. 
Seeing no other objections, he moved to hug her ever so gently.

	In his embrace, she felt safe which was strange. Something nagged at her 
but it wasn't strong enough to tear her away from him yet. It was nice to be 
being held. He was so warm, his arms stroking her back softly, pacifying her 
disparate emotions.

	As time passed, the voice inside her head grew louder and louder. The 
wrongness of the situation began to grow on her too. As if coming out from a 
daze, she realized what she was doing. She was hugging an enemy. The thought 
shook her violently. He seemed to notice the change in her and pulled away 
from her, staring at her uncomprehendingly.

	Dumbfounded for moments, they gazed at each other wordlessly. But it was 
Shampoo who moved first, she planted her lips fully on his, kissing deeply. 
That took him off guard but only for a moment as he returned with equally or 
even surpassed passion.

	Old feelings inside him flared again, he could not deny the love that he 
felt for Shampoo. It was too strong, too intense for him to ignore. Moving 
his lips away from hers, he began his descent down her neck, his lips never 
leaving her body. His hands were equally as busy, pressing her tightly to 
him and roaming her stacked figure. In his clouded mind, he vaguely heard 
Shampoo asking him to liberate her from the ropes so that she can hug him 
back. Instantly, his hands tugged at the bonds attempting to set her free. 
The knot was tight, he fumbled with it for a while whilst necking her. Then 
suddenly he stopped, hands, lips and all. The soft loving gaze that he wore 
for her was gone, replaced by a bewildered expression.

	"{Why?}" she asked.

	"{Amazons do not give up,}" pain was evident in his voice, "{especially 
regarding things such as revenge.}" He took steps away from her. "{They 
would resort to any means for their goals. Seducing an enemy is not beyond 
you.}" Face ashened, he hastened his movements to back away from her.

	"{Mu Tsu.}"

	He was deaf to her calling, only the sound of his heartbreak was audible to 
him. Stepping out of the cage, he relocked the steel door.

	"{Mu Tsu!}"

	He turned and ran.

	"{Let me go!}"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Ucchans, 7 a.m.)

	"Mousse! What are you doing here so early in the morning?" A surprised 
Ukyou asked. She had just awoken from her slumber when a persistent knocking 
on her main door was heard.

	"I need someone to talk to." He really needed that. He was so confused. And 
Ukyou was the only person he could turn to.

	"You shouldn't be here." Ukyou began to take quick glances on the 
surroundings to see if anyone had seen them together.

	"I. Need. Your. Help."

	Sensing that he wouldn't leave, she grabbed him by his robe and shoved him 
into her restaurant. Before closing the door, she took another glance to 
check for any passer-bys.

	She wanted to reproach him for coming so early in the morning. What would 
others think? Upon seeing the dejected Mousse, she couldn't help but wonder 
what went wrong. "I heard you got married, shouldn't you be happy right now? 
All problems should be solved, why are you still here?"

	"Shampoo..." he couldn't continue, her name choked in his throat but the 
one word conveyed the sorrow that he was feeling.

	"You got her, right? She didn't leave or what, did she? You know, there's 
going to be trouble if she..."

	"No. I still have her." Taking his eyes off the floor, he met her gaze. 
"I... love her."

	"Huh?" Confusion set in. "What..." she was suddenly in a loss for words. 
"Hey, drop the act, you're with me now."

	"No. I really love her. I..."

	"What happened to the eyesight thing and the humiliation and the abuse and 
the..." Ukyou tried before being interrupted by Mousse.

	"I know. But I can't bring myself to hurt her."

	"What do you mean? You had her where you wanted." This was something that 
she could not understand. She had no trouble torturing an enemy. She 
imagined herself having Ranma and not doing anything to him. The thought 
itself was silly and absurd, especially after what she went through. "You 
weren't like this when you told me of your plans for her. You were almost 
brimming with joy then and now you tell me you can't carry it out. This is 
crazy!"

	"I've changed my mind!" Mousse flared up suddenly, towering over Ukyou. "I 
don't know what happened but I know I can't continue like this. I want her 
back!"

	Something was terribly wrong and she knew that it must be amended 
immediately. Direct confrontation was of no use, she needed another 
approach. "Mousse," she spoke softly, her hands rubbing his shoulders, 
shredding some of his tension off, "it's not possible. If I remembered your 
plans correctly , Shampoo should know that you killed Cologne by now." He 
tensed suddenly, in a way answering her question. "She wouldn't forgive 
you."

	"But she was responding to me this morning, she was kissing me. She loved 
me."

	"Mousse, don't be fooled by her." She stopped speaking when Mousse moved 
away from her, giving her a disbelieving look. "What do you want to do now?"

	"I was hoping to seek her forgiveness and then we can get back together."

	That was it. Her patience had run out. "Listen to what you just said. Don't 
kid yourself. She'll kill you once she has the chance."

	He turned his back on her. He didn't want to hear her words. He didn't need 
her to tell him, he knew it all too well.

	She wasn't going to stop, he was putting them in jeopardy. She had to stop 
him from going back to Shampoo. Who knew what he was going to tell Shampoo? 
"Mousse, you can't win. There's no chance she'll ever forgive you. You 
killed her great-grandmother, you set her up, you made Ranma mad at her, you 
caused her to be ostracized by the society."

	"That all were your plans, I'm merely following your orders." A furious 
Mousse retorted. In a way, he knew he was just as guilty as Ukyou but he 
needed someone to blame. Nobody liked to admit that they were at fault. 
Strangely he didn't feel such guilt when he was carrying out the plots, not 
even what he did to Akane. He knew she wouldn't die, he made sure of that. 
Thinking back, he couldn't help but shudder of what he had been, a person so 
blinded by his obsession for revenge.

	"Hey, you did that willingly. I didn't force you. Don't blame it all on 
me." She couldn't believe what he was saying. He had the nerve to push the 
blame to her. Giving him a cold hard stare, she continued, "You benefited 
from it too. If it weren't for me, you'll still be hopeless in your pursuit 
of revenge." She remembered finding him in a dark alley in a drunken stupor, 
raving about how he liked to have his hands around Shampoo's neck and crush 
it into dust. It was then that she discovered the sinister side of Mousse 
and a possible ally.

	"It was a fair deal, you got what you wanted and I got mine. And don't 
forget, you took immense pleasure in mutilating Cologne's body too. That was 
a bonus." They fell into a staring match, fury written on their faces. And 
in the end it was Mousse who looked away first.

	Taking a breath, she continued on softer tones, "Come on, you're an 
attractive guy, there's many other women out there better than Shampoo. Why 
put yourself at risk?" She put her hand around Mousse shoulders, like a 
mother would to a child as she persuaded him. "You really need to get a new 
life, you wasted more than 10 years on her. Time to move on. Finish what you 
have started. Forget everything and start anew."

	He didn't raise any objections. She took that as an agreement to her words. 
"I think you need an earlier flight out of the country, I'll arrange that. 
Have you cashed the Nekohanten?"

	He nodded feebly. He had sold the Nekohanten to a property developer. He 
was supposed to be having his fun torturing Shampoo while waiting to 
complete the legal transfer and the money to come in. Then he would abscond 
out of the country, leaving Shampoo with a drug overdose. On that thought, 
he smiled weakly. Some kind of plan it turned out to be.

	Ukyou took the smile to be a success. The noise in the street was getting 
louder. Customers would be arriving soon. She got Mousse to leave by the 
back door and continued to reassure him that he was doing the right thing.

	"Remember, don't come to me unnecessarily." Ukyou frowned slightly as she 
repeated her instruction, to which Mousse responded with a nod. Noting his 
grim expression, she flashed a smile to him, "You'll be happy when all this 
is over."

	He nodded again, not speaking and left. As she watched him getting further 
away from her, she crossed her arms, obviously in deep thought. The smile 
plastered on her face was gone, replaced by a frown.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Akane's room)

	Akane was bored. Not that she had nothing to do, there were piles of 
homework waiting to be done but she didn't feel like doing it. Idly, she 
wondered where Ryouga was, she hadn't seen him since yesterday. And maybe 
that was the reason why she was so distracted today, or was there another 
reason?

	Cooping in the room and staring blankly at her books was not working for 
her. She didn't know why but her heart seemed to be in knots, clenched in 
her chest. It was like another being wanted to burst out from her and she 
was straining to keep it under control. Maybe a talk with someone would help 
ease that feeling.

	As expected, Kasumi was in the kitchen. She was retrieving a cake from an 
oven when Akane walked in. Akane noticed that the cake was Ranma's favourite 
and started to observe her older sister silently, not bothering to announce 
her arrival. When Kasumi cut a piece of the cake and put it in a container, 
a siren rang in her mind. "Oneechan, are you visiting Ranma?" Akane asked, 
trying not to put any emotions into her voice but failed.

	Kasumi was startled when Akane spoke. She wanted to make the visit quietly, 
without Akane's knowledge. She knew Akane still bore feelings for Ranma but 
that wouldn't do now. Akane has Ryouga now, besides Ranma was... paralyzed. 
It was best that Akane would not be encouraged to pick up those feelings 
again.

	Akane was still waiting for her answer. The urge to lie was strong but she 
didn't. She wasn't surprised when Akane asked to go in place of her.

	"Why not let me go?" The words came out smoothly from her mouth. It was 
something she wanted to do since the last visit. After speaking the words, 
Akane realized how much she really needed to see Ranma again.

	"I feel like going out for a while, take a break from studying."

	With the hopeful look Akane cast, Kasumi couldn't reject her but silently 
she was worried that Akane would fall deeper into the romance black hole, 
unable to retrieve herself from her own feelings for Ranma. Fate could be so 
cruel sometimes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

	His sky used to be blue in colour. White clouds were fluttering, birds 
flying freely, piercing through the white 'cotton candies'- a term he used 
when he was young. The flowers were blooming around him, butterflies 
waltzing among them. The smell of spring lingered in the air, so sweet and 
invigorating.

	He held a flower in his hands, bringing it to his nose casually. Freshened, 
he looked around and saw a person sitting under a cherry blossom tree. He 
moved towards her, practically bouncing in his steps.

	Ranma extended the wild flower to the short-haired girl, blushing as he did 
so. She turned to face him and at this moment, it started to rain. The sky 
began to roar and thunder, and all the images before him started to flow 
past him. He wanted to grab hold of the girl but she vanished before him.

	The noises became louder and the rain was getting heavier. Slowly and 
heavily, his moist eyelids fluttered open. His sky has become white in 
colour again. His world has shrunk to the little room in Ucchans. His cheeks 
were wet but he couldn't do a damn thing about it. He felt like a bird 
trapped in a cage - his body. He wanted to escape, needed to, but like a 
crippled bird, he could only stare longingly at the outside world. And each 
look reminded him how much he has lost.

	Taking his eyes away from the windows, he turned back to face the ceiling 
again. Emptiness that was all he had now. He thought his heart was dead and 
nothing could hurt him anymore. He thought he had given up Akane. He thought 
his happiness lied with Ukyou. He thought he was invincible, able to defeat 
anything thrown at him. And he was so _wrong_.

	What happened? What did he do wrong? Did he bring it upon himself? 
Questions that never cease to pop up in his weathered mind. And he only had 
one answer, life wasn't fair. Nobody told him that it was fair, yet he 
stupidly assumed it, in the process, learning the lesson the hard way.

	Hatred for his father grew, along with a strong belief that he was the 
cause of all his problems, at least those that were Ukyou-related. He 
understood why she did it to him, sympathized her even but he didn't deserve 
it.

	Now that he was paralyzed, where was that old man? Probably somewhere 
stealing food. Did he know that his son was stuck in a bed forever? Probably 
not. Yet Ranma longed for him, he was family afterall, a person he spent his 
entire life with. On the other hand, he also wished that he would never come 
back, for fear of what Ukyou would do to him.

	Ukyou was a worrisome topic for him. Where would she stop? She threatened 
to hurt the Tendos, but would she do it? Beneath all the fa�ade and hatred, 
he knew that she was just a emotionally wounded person. He would have used 
love to cure her wounds but she didn't let him, and he couldn't now, not 
when she was using Akane's life against him.

	He had no illusions that he could escape, nobody knew of his predicament 
and it was best that way. He hoped that they would stop visiting for 
unbeknownst to them, their lives were on the line. He was a lost cause, they 
weren't. Especially Akane, she deserved to be happy. He owed it to her. Yet 
it still hurt to know that she and Ryouga were a couple now. It could have 
been him beside her. But god forbade if she got hurt because of him again.

	The din outside was getting louder, it was lunch time at Ucchans. But the 
noise got particularly loud when his door was opened. He didn't bother to 
look who it was, just staring blankly at the ceiling, the whiteness of which 
he had gotten so familiar with until a face popped into view.

	His face must have registered shock for Akane was smiling at him haltingly. 
"Hi," she said. Just one word, and he was thrown into turmoil. <Get out 
now,> his mind was shouting at her, <Can't risk Ukyou harming you.> She 
didn't listen to him, couldn't in fact. He didn't stop, he willed her to 
leave, screaming at her to leave. It was no use, he knew that, for he 
couldn't speak a thing but hopefully maybe she could hear his thoughts; they 
always had a connection.

	She hadn't heard him for she continued talking to him, asking how was his 
day and going about setting herself comfortable in a chair. He didn't hear a 
word of what she said, only concentrating on every move she made, fearful 
that Ukyou would suddenly appear and kill Akane in front of him. His eyes 
must have betrayed his feelings for she stopped talking when she met his.

	Akane was puzzled. Ranma's eyes showed fear but not of her. It was 
something else, yet she had a feeling that he didn't want her to be here 
with him. Her heart faltered, was he angry at her for dumping him? They 
remained having eye contact for what seemed like a very long time until 
Ranma looked away.

	<I can't!> Ranma turned towards the window again. It was a blessing that he 
could move his neck or else Akane would see a stray tear wetting his already 
moist cheeks. <God, she's still so beautiful.> Along with the thought, the 
pain in his chest became unbearable. <I can't fall in love with her all over 
again.>

	<Maybe you never stopped loving her,> his mind queried. And he had no 
answer to it. Her angelic face came into view again as she leaned forward. 
<Don't! No! I've lost the chance!>

	Akane had taken the cake out, deciding to ignore the short interlude. 
Spooning a small piece of the cake, she would have fed it into his mouth if 
he was more cooperative. Instead of his mouth, her spoon met the side of his 
face. And she became concerned.

	"Kasumi made the cake. Don't you want it?" She tried a smile for him, but 
deep inside, she was truly worried. Did he hate her? He remained motionless 
and she was lost as to what to do.

	Seeing his stained face, she apprehensively but gently motions, wiped the 
offending spot with a tissue paper. He flinched slightly at her touch but 
she continued anyway. It was then that she realized the dampness of his 
cheeks. Had he been crying? Was she the cause of it? Or was it just sweat?

	He tried to ignore her as best he could, thinking that this would get her 
to leave. Yet, he couldn't resist stealing a couple of glances at her when 
he thought she wasn't looking. He was caught in the act.

	"Ranma, do you hate me?"

	He refused to meet her eyes.

	"Please, look at me," Akane begged. When he didn't, anger surged. "You have 
no right to hate me, you hear that. You were the one who left me behind."

	He tried to look away from Akane's prying eyes. His own emotions were also 
getting the better of him. Tears glistened in his eyes. And silently, he 
wondered when had Saotome Ranma become so emotional?

	"You can't expect me to wait for you. You left without a word, with Ukyou 
no less. You didn't promise me anything, you didn't even say you loved me. 
How can you..." Her tears were choking her words. "Why do you keep torturing 
me like that?" She collapsed onto her chair and began to weep 
uncontrollably.

	<Why do I keep hurting Akane?> Every sob she made was like a knife plunged 
into his heart. He reproached himself, and finally gave her the attention 
that she wanted. Glancing at her sobbing figure, he was totally devastated. 
He wanted to console her, wanted to walk up to her and let her cry in his 
embrace, to even say he was sorry. Yet all he managed was a mouth wide open 
but no words spilt out.

	Akane looked up from her crying and saw Ranma trying to talk to her. He 
wasn't succeeding but at least he was trying, that must mean something. All 
her inhibitions fled, and she crushed him with a bear hug, crying into his 
shirt. In between sobs, she managed to ask him to stop pushing her away. He 
couldn't reply, but when she felt a light kiss on the top of her head, she 
knew his answer and she cried even louder and crushed him even tighter.


End Part 6A


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