In a message dated 99-07-08 15:54:11 EDT, BrianP@nhspokane.com writes:

	Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I'm late. ;)
 
 	I'm lagging about a week behind IN EVERYTHING, so sue me.  Well,
 don't, because I'm broke.  I guess you could try, though... ;)
 
 	Anyway... here goes.  C&C ahoy!

Better late than never, believe me. 

 
 
 > This is a followup to 'At The Movies,' '...Cats and Dogs,' and
 > 'Things To Do:'  Each story is part of an alternate timeline and
 > as such does not strictly adhere to either Manga or Anime
 > canon. C-C and MST-ies are welcomed and appreciated either
 > publicly or privately.
 
 	Except for the 'C&C welcome' bit, you've just confused the hell out
 of me.  Did I miss some fics along the way somewheres?

Yup, three of them. Two take place before this story, while 1 
takes place after. 

 
 
 > Note: This takes place five hours after  '...Cats and Dogs,'
 > and within the first two months of Ranma's stay at the Tendou
 > Dojo.	
 > 
 
 	Confusion rides again...

'...Cats and Dogs' is the immediate prequel to this story.

 
 
 >  	I should have let the bitch burn.
 > 	
 
 	<blink blink>  Well, you've got my attention, at least. ;)  Nice
 opening.

Happy to know that it worked... 

 
 
 > 	Its dark now, but its always dark. The wind is up. The
 > rustling of the branches and the sweeping of the leaves around
 > camp blanket the area completely; enveloping me the way
 > Hiba-chan's favorite quilt did, late at night in bed. Gods, how
 > embarassing to need a stupid cover to feel safe again after a
 > training session...
 > 	
 > 	Anyway, its comforting, the way the wind cuts through
 > most of the normal distractions; so indistinctly loud, I can
 > almost sit back and enjoy the quiet. Not quite, but close.
 > 	
 
 	I like these sense descriptions.  Good visuals, good sounds,
 everything.  Nice job.

Thank you, but its funny you should use the word visuals. 

 
 
 
 > 	The noseguards press against my face, an ant crawls
 > between the first two toes on my left foot, the wet cotton of my
 > robes that much heavier from the sweat, weighes me down. I
 > enjoy these things, the feelings... they comfort me.
 > 
 
 	Noseguards?  Hmm... I guess they could be called that.  I've never
 heard that before, though... it was kinda confusing.  (Geez, three times so
 far.  Should I go for four? ;)

Couldn't think of the name for them, if you can, lemme know and I'll 
give you credit for it. <G>

 
 
 > 	I hate them.
 > 	
 > 	The ant's trek across my foot produces an itch that
 > sings misery, the sweat makes my robes that much heavier,
 > 5, maybe 10 kilos. That'll slow me down if I get into trouble,
 > when I get into trouble. And the noseguards... the noseguards
 > are not the problem with the glasses.
 > 	
 > 	I... just a minute.
 > 	
 > 	What's that? The c-, wait-, eh?.
 
 	? should be the only punctuation ending this fragment.  You don't
 need a period there as well.

<Wipes the egg off his face> I can't believe I missed that. 

 
 
 > 	
 > 	How on earth does a cat get all the way out here, and
 > why can't I smell him? Oh, now that more like it...no, it smells
 > like a she.
 > 	
 
 	Why would he be able to smell them anyway?

It follows the premise that someone with a profound weakness in 
one important area compensates with an increased strength in 
other areas. 

 
 
 
 > 	Impossible. Male cats don't smell like teenage girls.
 > Definitel-
 > 	
 > 	WHAT?
 > 	
 > 	Oh no. It can't be.
 > 	
 > 	Even if they found a manual, no one's that foolish. No
 > one *lives* long enough to find it if they're that stupid.
 > 	
 > 	And magic too? Damn.
 > 		
 > 	The last thing I want to do after a day's hike is get up
 > and look for ambition's latest victim. Especially someone with
 > chi like that. Alright, second-to last thing but...
 > 	
 > 	Hell.
 > 	
 > 	Never could resist a girl in trouble. One day I'll learn.
 > 	
 > 	Or die in agony wishing I did. 	
 > 	
 > End. <Yeah right> 
 
 	Ok, here's number four:
 
 	I'M CONFUSED!!!
 
 	Still, I like it, and the tone is intriguing.  From the looks of
 things, there are a few fics that I missed somewhere that this one follows,
 or something, since otherwise this would make absolutely no sense at all.

Yup. If you want the other fics I can send them along. Hopefully 
after reading them this story makes more sense. 

 
 	Writing is excellent - I couldn't find any spelling or grammar
 mistakes (with the one exception noted above) and the tense was consistent.
 Great work.
 
 	Looking forward to more!

Thank you for your C-C and your praise. I hope to write and release 
more as the summer progresses.

 
 	Brian Payne
 	sofaspud@ior.com
 	brianp@nhspokane.com
 	Visit Sofaspud's Couch!  Fanfiction in every cushion!
 	http://www.ior.com/~sofaspud