As the subject reads, this work is a lemon;  it contains scenes of explict
sex.  If this offends you, don't read it.  Or just skip the juicy parts.
They're part of the story, but the details aren't that important.  If
there's enough call for it, I may do a version that's only 'lime',
containing no explict sex.

This is a very rough draft.   I estimate it's about one third to one half
of the story.  I'd be most glad if people would take a look at this and
tell me what they think.  It's only partially edited so far, I'm mostly
hoping to elicit general reactions (sucks, okay, needs more x, needs less
y, you forgot about z and a, person b would *never* do that, etc).

A special thanks to all my prereaders, who seem intent on actually making
me finish this one.  Complete credits appear at the end.

	-DaR

$Revision: 0.31 $
$Date: 1999/07/10 22:48:58 $

			     dbml productions
			       together with
			 citrus growers of fandom
				  present
			  a nan-da-fuck? fiction

			     ritsuko's problem
			    an evangelion work
				  by DaR

				    ***

Akagi Ritsuko woke like she often did, dazed, confused, and horny as hell.
Tossing the sweat soaked covers off, she rolled over to the edge of the
bed.  As she sat, she grumped, <Other people have nameless night terrors,
but me, no, I have to have the faceless erotic dream from hell.>

At least two or three times a week she could count on being forced from
slumber by a fantasy so intense that she literally drenched the bed in
sweat and sexual lubrication.  Running a hand through the tangled mess of
short blonde hair, she again tried to recall what the details of the dream
were.  She remembered no more than ever before.

For a time, after the dream had started being a regular occurrence, she'd
kept a pad of paper by the bed, so she could write down every tiny scrap
she could before the wisps of dream evaporated.  After two months, the
project was abandoned.  Whatever images her subconscious was dredging up
were either too powerful, or too horrific.  She blocked them nearly all
out.

Only the tiniest points of memory failed to dissolve with the morning mist.
The warm breath on the side of her neck, soft lips on her earlobes, the
firm feel of a body against her back, and the hands.  Oh those hands.  If
she could ever find someone with hands that talented, she'd kidnap them
immediately and run for a place no one could ever find them.  Those magic
hands that seemed to touch everything at once, caressing and massaging,
teasing and provoking.

With a heaving sigh, she stood, sweat rapidly cooling and drying in the
chill air.  She slept nude, another legacy of the dream.  As a
fundamentally lazy person, having to wash a complete set of clothes every
time she dreamt was more work than she would tolerate.  Washing was to be
done once, and right the first time.  The room reeked, as it always did,
musk underlined by the smell of stale smoke.

With only the slightest stagger, she made it to the bathroom, flicking on
the lights.  Leaning against the counter, she dialed the shower on.  In a
few brief seconds the tiny tendrils of steam began to snake out of the
stall.  She stepped into the cascade of water.

The stinging needles of warmth crashed into her, soaking her hair, running
down her face and body.  With grave ritual, she worshiped the heat, letting
her hands roam across her flesh, rinsing away the grime.  She cupped her
breasts, offering them ceremonially to the impassive gaze of the
shower-head.  As always, her arousal after the dream was nothing short of
mind-numbing.

Tweaking the already stiff nipples, she smirked to herself.  "Somewhere,
out there, someone is very sorry they haven't found me yet." she whispered.
With well practiced mental skills, she sidestepped the normal successor to
that thought.  "Thirty is not old, dammit."

She slumped back in the tiny cube, letting her head tilt until the rear of
her skull touched the cool ceramic.  The drifting hands began to develop a
mind of their own, as she contemplated the cruelty of fate that left the
shower as her only lover.  Sliding a hand down across her still firm
abdomen, the fingers encountered the fringes of her still short pubic hair.

Nearly two months ago she'd shaved it all off, in a fit of something
resembling sexual daring.  The effect had been interesting and erotic, but
having to shave every other day was not.  After two weeks she'd had enough,
only to suffer through two more of varying discomfort as it began to grow
back.

The nails raked easily through the brown thatch, deliberately avoiding the
more sensitive tissue, until her entire palm lightly covered her sex.  She
hunched her back and slid her feet apart slightly, giving more ready access
to the plundering hand.

Her breath started to grow sharper as her mental and physical arousal began
to harmonize.  With her free hand she grasped her breast, cruelly twisting
and pulling the nipple.  Tiny sparks of pleasure filled her, making her
knees feel weak.  Her hips slipped slightly farther down the wall as she
leaned forward.  Fondling her whole mound, the middle finger curled
slightly, partially separating the outermost layers of her sex.

The sparks grew into tiny motes of flame that danced along her bones,
melting everything they touched.  Ritsuko had a lot of experience with her
own body, the aftermath of the dream was impossible to ignore.  The heel of
her palm pressed down on her mound, bringing another wave of numbing
pleasure.  Adding an index finger to the action, she slowly spread herself.

Images flashed on the inside of her closed eyelids as she drove herself
higher.  No face was attached to the hands that caressed her in place of
her own.  In a way, she didn't want there to be a face.  Nails dug into the
firmness of her breast, leaving angry red crescents in the pale skin.

Middle and ring finger slid up, and then down, preparing for assault,
dragged along the fevered flesh.  She gasped at the flood of sensation,
short pants of steam-filled air filling her lungs as the water beat down on
her neck and chest.  Plunge.  They were inside, the ball of her hand now
firmly over the center of pleasure.

The nails now scraped her sensitive tissue, scoring a path inward towards
the center of her breast.  A few thrusts with her other hand nearly sent
her over, but she grit her teeth, banging her head lightly against the
wall.  Holding it off made the pleasure increase, adding, multiplying,
exponentially growing.

She abandon the nipple, bringing both hands together again at the juncture
of her thighs, one claw cupping the other.  In and out.  Her legs spread
farther, to the limiting enclosure of the stall on each side, sliding
slowly down to give even more access.  Her thighs screamed with the effort
of keeping herself braced, calves beginning to knot.

Her palm wasn't enough, the other hand snaked beneath it, pinching the nub
of flesh between fingertips.  Rolling it, coaxing it harder.  Breath left
her body in explosive bursts, interrupting the shuddering groans.

Nearly there, she was nearly there.  The thought became her personal
prayer, burning inside like the holy truth.  Fingers continued their dance,
a third partner joining the ceremony.  Just... a... little... more.

Respiration ceased entirely as she began the final ascent.  She jerked
forward, only to slam back against the tile.  The arches of her feet
cramped as toes tried to curl through the rough stone floor, adding to the
fatigued agony in her knees.

One final stroke with her right hand, ramming into the depths of her sex, a
desperate pinch with the left, twisting for maximum effect.

Right.  There.

Her orgasm broke like every proverbial dam ever built.  What little breath
remained flowed out as the tide, cutting cries into short catches.
Shoulderblades contacted tile again, with greater force.  Her head followed
suit an instant later.  She was glowing, on fire.  The rain of water did
nothing to cool, the sensation only adding to the event.  She burned alive
from the inside, falling from heaven.

At short while later she came to her senses, sitting at the bottom of the
stall, splay-legged, fingers still lodged inside herself.  Drops fell
around her, on her, the shower oblivious to her performance.  With a slight
nudge, she kicked the door open a few centimeters, letting frigid air from
outside swirl in.  The briskness revived her slightly, and she carefully
withdrew her hands.  Her arm ached from the exertion, her legs so much
rubber.

As completion of her rite, she brought the digits to her face, inhaling the
fragrance of musk and sweat.  For a moment she stared at them, marveling at
the pleasure they could bring, the pain they could cause.  Carefully she
slid her index finger into her mouth, tasting the salt overlayed with the
flavor of her.  A shudder rippled through her, an aftermath of her peak.

Gathering in her tired limbs and raising her face to the downpour, she let
the water wash her soul clean.

				    ***

The coffee scalded her throat, sliding down to warm her insides.  She
always felt so cold after those sessions, as if the very life had drained
out of her, down the pipes with the shampoo suds.  She took comfort in the
towel that enveloped her.  Real cotton, extra fluffy, overly large, and
costing a small fortune.  It was worth it at times like these.

She considered making a real breakfast for a change, only to realize there
wasn't anything in the apartment that would remotely qualify as cooking
ingredients.  The resulting sigh was dejection instantiated.  <One day,
I'll get my act together.  I'm nearly as bad as Misato.>

The thought definitely cheered her up some.  Nostalgia filled her as she
remembered what her coworker had been like in college.  By comparison to
that air-head, Ritsuko was a paragon of efficiency and forethought.  Though
not nearly so much as her mother.

The beginnings of a good mood crashed down around her.  "I am not my
mother, I am not my mother."  The words became a chant, as if simple
repetition could bid the universe to obey their truth.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see strands of the blonde hair.  The
hair she so carefully colored to help differentiate herself from the
monster that had ruled her childhood and early adult life.  In the end, it
only bound her tighter to that nightmare, a constant reminder she could
never escape that influence.

Before she knew it, she had a pair of scissors in her trembling hands,
holding out the offending strands for execution.  She wrenched control back
from whatever demon rode her, dropping the shears.  With shaky legs, she
stumbled back to her chair, dropping heavily into it.

Face buried in her hands, tears leaking out, she tried to figure out just
when she lost control of her life.

				    ***

Ritsuko stood on the Command deck, watching the trials as impassively as
she could.  Her lab coat covered the outfit that had become a uniform, a
high-collared blue silk shirt with a pull-ring zipper and a leather skirt
that stopped just above the knees.  Normally the outfit was comfortable,
stylish without being confining.  Today it was irritation defined.  Even
her undergarments were conspiring against her, pinching and chafing her
overly sensitive skin.

The operators seemed to sense her discomfort, dropping the normal banter
and antics they perpetrated during the otherwise boring daily operations.
Even Maya seemed taken aback by her shortness.  That had hurt, in some
fashion.  She knew the younger girl certainly looked up to her, almost
idolized her at times.

Finally she'd retreated to her office, unwilling to listen to the brisk
reports any longer.  She sat at her desk, making the pretense of composing
project summaries.  In reality, she daydreamed, imagining a much happier
world than the one she seemed to inhabit.  The dream nagged from the edge
of thought, as it often did.  "Why can't I remember?"

"Remember what?"

A gun shot couldn't have been more shocking.  Ritsuko's eyes sprung open,
adrenaline coursing into her veins.  The agent of her ambush was Maya,
clenching a clipboard and decidedly startled by the overreacton.

"Gaaaah," the blonde wailed, "don't *do* that."

The perky brunette recovered quickly, casting a sheepish glance at the
floor.  "Sorry, sempai."

Clasping a hand to her chest, she could feel her heart pounding.  "You
nearly gave me a heart attack."

Maya's voice sunk like a rock, barely above a whisper, "Sorry."

They watched each other for several long seconds.  Ritsuko fought down the
guilt that rose inside.  For the second time today she'd yelled at Maya,
who hadn't deserved anything.  It felt like whipping a puppy.  Finally she
sighed, disgusted with herself.

"What was it you wanted, Maya?"  The tone was softer than she might have
used with anyone else, her way of apologizing.

The younger woman wordlessly held out the mass of paper.

"Oh.  This morning's results?  Just put them on the desk."

The office was just large enough for the silence to be deadly as the
console operator crossed it.  Carefully she placed the entire clipboard on
top of the pile of documents already growing to sentience on Ritsuko's
desk.  As quietly as she'd approached, she withdrew, hurt still shadowed
across her features.

As the lieutenant backed out of the room, the head of NERV's Evangelion
Development team rocked back in her chair.  Pinching the bridge of her
nose, she threw her spectacles onto the newly delivered evaluations.  She
never knew how to deal with the girl, and the obvious crush she carried for
her 'sempai'.  <Hell, I don't know how to deal with anyone who's interested
in me.>

To the uncaring universe she announced, "God, do I want a smoke."

				    ***

By afternoon she had composed herself again, with the aid of a truly
excessive number of cigarettes and a full pot of overly strong coffee.  As
always, there were trials to be run, experiments to be conducted, tests to
perform.  She didn't have time for a mental breakdown.

The atmosphere on the deck had lightened noticeably.  Hyuuga and Aoba were
even slipping in snarky comments that occasionally caused Maya to giggle.
Ritsuko stood in the middle of it all, focused on the data that flowed over
the various consoles, the numbers being called out.  For once, everything
appeared to be proceeding exactly as planned.

"Makoto, bring the core temperature up five degrees.  Maya, link in the
MAGI to the data feed and begin downloading the analysis."

Chorused affirmatives brought a tiny trace of smile to her face.
Efficiency was one trait she could admire in others.

"And Aoba, your finger on that E chord is too low."

The long haired tech started, hands still waving in mid-strum of the air
guitar.  "B-but," he stammered, "it was a G."

Laughter erupted, spreading through the entire deck crew.  Like the air in
the aftermath of a thunderstorm, the gaiety cleared the heavy thoughts from
Ritsuko's soul.  For the first time since she'd awoke from the dream that
morning, she felt a measure of peace.

"Come on people, let's get this gig wrapped up so we can go home early for
a change."

It was but the calm before the storm.

Suddenly, there was a body behind her, pressing into her from behind.  Arms
encircled her, hands grasping, soft breath on on the side of her neck.
She'd been returned to the Dream as she stood in the middle of the NERV
Command deck.  Denial shot through her, it simply wasn't possible.

The voice spoke, low but filled with playful humor, "My, you seem in a good
mood, Ritsuko-chan."

It was a voice she recognized.  Twisting, she spun out of Misato's grope.
Eyes wide, she stared at the girl she'd gone to college with.

"Whoa, you okay there?  Did I scare you?"

Words failed her.  How could she say what she wanted to, that by pure
accident the woman had re-enacted the situation that plagued her dreams
unceasingly?

"It was just a joke.  Come on, calm down."  Misato actually looked abashed,
embarrassed by the blonde scientist's shocked gaping and the sudden hush
that descended on the deck.

Not trusting herself to speak, Ritsuko rushed out of the room, brushing
past the bewildered captain.

				    ***

It was fully evening by the time she returned home, weary from her trek
through the city.  Mistakenly, she'd believed that a walk would help clear
her mind.  In practice, wandering through Tokyo-3 while wearing even
moderate heels was a perfect way to raise blisters on skin she'd never been
previously aware of.  The offending footwear had been hurled across the
apartment, the ruined pantyhose stripped and discarded.

She ached.  All over.  Curled up on the tiny couch, she rubbed her feet,
trying to restore sensation to the tortured arches and toes.  She was
tired, exhausted even.  And no closer to a solution to her problem.

A smirk briefly rippled across her face as she recalled Misato's look as
she'd fled.  <Poor Misato, I'll bet I scared her silly.>  In retrospect, it
was far funnier than it had been at the time.

A brief foray to the kitchen produced a cup of instant hot chocolate, one
of the few edibles consistently available in the house.  She might be lazy,
but she would not go without her hot chocolate.  Especially on days like
this.

She didn't feel like doing anything, and she hated herself for it.
Lounging around the house wasn't productive.  But between physical fatigue
and the molasses that had shrouded her mind, even a herculean effort of
will wouldn't get any work done.  The cup was returned to the kitchen sink
with the firm promise of a washing in the morning.  Sleep beckoned and she
willingly followed the siren call.

				    ***

Akagi Ritsuko awoke dazed, confused, and horny as hell.  This time she
didn't even make it to the shower as was usual.  She'd literally roused
with her hands between her legs, in the midst of masturbating herself in
her sleep.  It was intensely erotic yet disturbing.  The haze of lust
amplified her normal waking disorientation tenfold.

There was little she could do but ride out the storm, letting the sensation
crash around, over, and through her, clinging desperately to her sanity.
It didn't take long, the effects of the dream and her own manipulation
combining in an extraordinary way.  Within moments she smashed headlong
into the wall of orgasm, straining her whole body into a steel arc on the
bed.

She lay gasping for breath as her mind slowly reassembled itself.  One
thing was clear, she was scared as hell.  It was the first time she'd ever
had the dream for two consecutive nights.  Ever since her own mother's lack
of sanity had become apparent to her, a small part of her doubted her own.
Perhaps she was finally losing it completely, walking the same path the
elder Akagi had.

Visions of herself, acting out the acts of her parent, danced before her,
taunting her with the belief she'd succumb to them too.  The tiny voice
inside her head whispered insidious nothings.  The only defense was her
chant of 'I am not my mother', but never had the words rung so hollow in
her mind.

Operating on autopilot, she managed to find the shower, once more hoping
the artificial rain could rinse the stain from her psyche.

				    ***

Patting the redhead on the shoulder, she motioned towards the door.
"Alright, you're done for now."

"Finally.  If you had poked me with any more of those verdammt needles I
think I would have gone stark raving insane.  Not that any of you would
have noticed.  I swear."  And swear she did, keeping up a steady mutter of
curses, alternating German and Japanese as she dressed.

Ritsuko felt a grin touch the corners of her mouth, in spite of herself.
Finally Asuka stomped off, in search of a Shinji to abuse, still uttering
various oaths under her breath.  The girl just didn't seem to like doctors.

The door slid open, her next subject slipping silently into the room.  She
just nodded at Rei, who began stripping her clothing off without a word.
It was always fascinating to watch.  Each article was removed separately,
carefully folded, and layed neatly on the chair.  In contrast to Asuka and
Shinji, who never removed their undergarments, except when absolutely
necessary for some procedure, Rei simply removed everything, then stood
bare before the doctor.

She wondered if Rei had ever considered not removing her bra and panties.
Probably not.  She probably didn't even consider why she wore them, other
than she had been told to at some point.

"Standard checkout and physical scan today, Rei."

"Yes, Akagi-sensei."  Even her voice was bland and colorless.  Obediently
she climbed onto the examination table, holding out her right arm.  Ritsuko
was waiting with the sensor cuff.  It was a comfortable routine between
them.  She'd been examining the girl at least weekly for as long as she'd
been a scientist at NERV.

The cuff started flashing lights, making softly muted beeps as it performed
its duties.  The other arm was offered, as Ritsuko already waiting with the
syringes from the blood sample kit.  With practiced efficiency, she started
drawing the crimson fluid.  The contrast with the pale skin was disturbing.
Perhaps she should order the child to get some regular sun.

As she worked, she wondered about Rei's extreme passivity.  Sometimes she
thought she saw a spark of mischief in those otherwise dull eyes.  Was the
glassy vacancy part of her nature, something trained into her, or a
personal mask of quiet rebellion to being a human tool?  As she placed a
small bandage over the wound, she felt the smoothness of that perfect skin.
It was almost enough to make her jealous.  Ritsuko pulled a stethoscope
from the equipment tray, laying the cool metal against the warmth of Rei's
chest.  There was a rasp she didn't like.

"Turn."

The girl folded her leg up, half indian-style, other leg dangling down,
pivoting sidewise to expose her back.  Any other young female Ritsuko would
have admonished for the lack of modesty.  Doing so with Rei was a waste of
time, she seemed to possess no such concept.  The boys at school would
probably have a field day with her, if they could melt the icy blankness.

Listening to the passage of air through her lungs, the scientist confirmed
her suspicions.  She stood up, stepping around the side of the table.  The
girl met her eyes.

"Rei, why is it that you seem to catch this every two or three months?"

There was no response beyond a sense of unfathomable depth in the gaze.

"Standard prescription then.  Two doses, one in the morning, one at night.
And make sure to get some time outside."

A short nod indicated comprehension and compliance.  Ritsuko probably could
have order to attend school in the nude and gotten the same acceptance.

Suddenly the world around her tilted, slowly whirling away.  The images
bombarded her, Rei, naked and surrounded by classmates.  Kneeling before
her, reaching up to massage and caress.  It melded with the Dream, taking
on a life of its own, consuming her reality.  The voice was there too, but
it sounded blank, almost dull.  The hands were all over her, brushing and
teasing.

As suddenly as it started, it was over.  Her heart was racing, but her
world was back.  In a panic she tried to figure out how much time had
passed.  Couldn't have been more than a few seconds.  She looked down at
Rei, who stared back, honest curiosity coloring her face for the first time
she could recall.

Sensations slammed into her again, one after another.  Some part of her
brain, still recovering from the waking dream, looked down at the meekness
before her and whispered to the rest of her.  She could easily order Rei to
act that way, to do those things to her, then never say a word to anyone.
The rest of her recoiled in horror, disgusted that she could even have such
a thought.  Rei was a child.  A pretty child, growing into a beautiful
woman.  No!  A child.

She ripped her eyes away, turning away, reaching for a pad of paper to
cover the trembling of her hands.  Fumbling a pen out of her lab coat, she
scrawled several words in an even less legible manner than normal.  Without
looking up, she offered the scrap to the girl.

"Take this to Tetsuo in Medical."  Briefness helped hide the nervousness.

Then it struck her how much she was overreacting.  Rei would never say
anything unless directly asked about it.  Sickly relief washed over her,
and a corner of her mouth nearly quirked into faint grin.  It's not like it
had been a big deal.  Just a quick daydream and a primal image that her
rational self reacted to as it should have.  Nothing to worry about.

Ritsuko had another mantra to add to her growing list.

				    ***

Like a scolded schoolgirl before the principal, Ritsuko withered under the
blank stare of Ikari Gendou.

"Explain yourself, Akagi."

With anyone else she would have assumed that tone meant she was about to be
court-martialed, or worse.  With her sometimes mentor, she knew he was more
curious than anything.

Several times she opened her mouth, trying to explain her irrational acts
over the past several days.  Avoiding Misato, even though her presence
should have been necessary during testing procedures, snapping at the
operators, and drifting off into daydreams with startling frequency were
just the start of the list.

Finally, after immeasurable time, the words came.  "I've... been a bit
under the weather.  I'm not sleeping well because of it."

There.  The truth.  The omission of the details that were irrelevant was
simply the way you dealt with Gendou.  Yes.  That was it.

For an equally immeasurable time he gazed at her, light reflecting oddly
off his glasses.

"Take the day off.  Return when you are capable of operating efficiently."

How so like him.  Efficiency and productivity were the core of everything.
Even in speech he used the absolute bare minimum of words to convey his
demands upon his world.

She replied in kind, since anything more would be wasted.  "Of course."

				    ***

Steam drifted from the cup of chocolate, rising to fill the air with the
sinful scent.  She stared into its depths, figuring it as good a place as
any to find the answer to her problems.  A twinge raced up her legs and
back, a reminder her trek of the previous day.  For a long time the cup
filled the universe.

Finally she became aware of a distant sound.  Knocking.  Someone at the
door.  Irritation flashed through her.  She wanted to be alone, and if she
was going to be interrupted, why didn't they use the damn doorbell instead
of trying to bash down the door like some B-movie barbarian?  She rewrapped
the robe around her as she headed for the entry-way.

"Who is it?"

"Me."

Of course.  Misato.  Perhaps the last person in the living world she wanted
to face right now.  At her doorstep.  Perfect.

Ritsuko tried hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice.  "Misato, I
don't want to talk to anyone right now.  Just go away please."

The reply was cheery, too cheery.  "Aw, come on Ritsuko.  Lemme in.  I
brought food, since I figured that somebody who was supposed to be having a
nervous breakdown wouldn't remember.  At least, I wouldn't."

The annoyance intensified, then gave way to bemusement.  Only Katsuragi
could maintain that stream of honest running consciousness.  There was no
way she could get rid of her either, short of calling for some of NERV's
security officers to haul her away.

Wordlessly, she worked the door locks, throwing bolts and dragging open
chains.  No sooner than she finished than the door burst inwards, forcing
her to step back.  A dervish of purple and red breezed past her, sailing
into the apartment like it owned it.

The sight almost brought a smile to the scientist's face.  Misato was one
of the only people in the world she could call friend.  They'd known each
other since college, having gone so far as to room with each other
sophomore year.  The girl seemed only to have two states -- in motion and
passed out -- and alternated between them with occasionally astonishing
frequency.

Even as she returned from the door, the Operations Chief had claimed court
on the kitchen table, and was rapidly pulling square containers out of a
paper sack.

"I got Chinese, I remember how much you like that and all."

Ritsuko didn't really care for Chinese, but didn't feel like pointing it
out.  "Uh, as much as I hate to interrupt you when you're having so much
fun, but what are you doing here?"

Misato glanced up, guilt scurrying across her features.  "Well, I figured
you were mad at me again, so I was trying to make it up to you."

"Mad at you?  What for?"

"You know... the other day."

Sitting down heavily, Ritsuko closed her eyes.  "Oh.  That.  I'm not mad."

"Then how come you're avoiding me?"

At some point a container of something chicken-and-spicy tasting had been
pushed into her hands, so she took a bite.

"I'm not avoiding you,"  she mumbled around the food.

Silence invaded the room.

"Then what are you running from?"

Ritsuko's eyes shot open, locking onto Misato's.  "Who says I'm running?"

The return glare was even.  "I do."

"You're wrong."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes.  You are."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-uh."

Finally, Ritsuko snapped, standing up abruptly enough to spill boxes
everywhere.  "Listen, I didn't ask you to come here.  And I certainly
didn't ask for you to start psychoanalyzing me.  If you're going to insult
me, just leave.  You know where the door is."

Misato stood, stalking forward, as if making for the door.  Instead, she
spun, devilish grin on her lips, accusing finger resting lightly on the
very tip of Ritsuko's nose.  "Yer cute when you're angry."

The rage and despair evaporated under a heavy dose of confusion.  Having
her ex-roommate pester her into exploding and the call her 'cute' was well
outside of her realm of experience.  Then a memory -- the captain groping
her from behind -- rushed in from nowhere, displacing confusion with
fear-tinged guilt.  She whirled away from the finger, hurrying towards the
sanctuary of her bedroom.

Halfway across the room, an iron vice clamped around her arm.  For an
eternity, the world stopped.  A universe was born, grew old, and died.
Finally Misato's low voice restarted reality.  "I thought you weren't
running away."

Ritsuko ripped her arm loose, bleating out, "Don't touch me."  Free of her
temporary imprisonment, she resumed her retreat.

However, as she'd noted before, Misato was nothing if not persistent.
Before she managed even two more steps, something crashed into her from
behind, driving her down and sideways, face-first into the leather couch.
Her brain froze again, the weight of the other woman pressing into her back
once more.  She began thrashing like a trapped animal, shrieking, "Get
off," over and over.

The NERV Captain wasn't sure what to do, so she held on tight, crying out
for her friend to get a hold of herself.  Ritsuko wasn't in a state of mind
to heed any such requests, alternating between wailing and sobbing.
Finally, strength spent, she trailed off into distressed whimpering.

				    ***

"Is she okay?"

Misato looked up at Ibuki Maya, several expressions warring for control of
her face.  "I don't know if 'okay' is the right way to put it.  She's
sleeping now, so she's not acting like a terrified child."

By comparison with the Misato's face, the tech was an easy read.  Horror and
sympathy so strong, it almost hurt to witness.  There was no question how
much the girl looked up to Akagi.

"Can I see her?"

The beginnings of a plan formed in Misato's mind.  Like many of her plans,
it wasn't terribly well thought out, but it was a plan, which is more than
she'd had a few moments ago.  Ritsuko seemed to like the girl as well,
enough to treat her as a protege.  Maybe she would confide in Maya.  The
shy console operator would be far easier to pry details out of than an
otherwise icy scientist currently on the verge of some sort of breakdown.

She nodded.  "Sure.  In fact, I think it might be better if someone stayed
with her for a while.  I have no idea what she'll do when she wakes up."

The soulfully innocent eyes were a sign this would definitely work.
Absolutely.  Maybe.  She hoped.

				    ***

Ritsuko slowly drifted back to awareness.  As her thoughts gathered, she
began to wish she hadn't.  At the very least she was going to be hard
pressed to ever look Misato in the face again.  She wasn't sure how she was
going to look anyone in the face again.  But she wasn't her mother, taking
the easy way out.  Yet.

The sounds of someone moving around the apartment finally caused her to
open her eyes.  Was Misato still around?  She desperately hoped not.
Pulling the blanket up over her head, she attempted to avoid the universe
at large, and specifically any Misato-infested portions thereof.

"Ano, sempai?"

Ritsuko blinked, still under the covers.  That was distinctly not
Katsuragi's voice.  Nope.  Definitely not.  And only one person called her
sempai these days.

"Maya?"  What was the console tech doing here?

There was a brief pause, then the soft reply,  "Hai."

The silence continued for several long seconds.

"Ano, sempai?"

"What?"

"Could you pull down the covers?"

Ritsuko thought about it some, and then thought some more.

"Please?"

Dammit, Maya was making those puppy dog eyes.  She couldn't see them, but
they were burning a hole in the blankets nonetheless.  She could withstand
it no more.  Grumbling, she flipped the covers down.

The 2nd lieutenant stood at the foot of the bed holding out a mug.
Something inside it was steaming.  The mug was offered and accepted.  Hot
chocolate.  Ritsuko took back everything nasty she'd ever said about Maya.
Not that she could remember anything to take back.

Maya perched, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for any task she
might need to leap up and perform.  At first it annoyed the target of her
attention, she mostly wanted to be left alone.  After a few moments,
Ritsuko relaxed.  It was hard to stay angry at someone who so obviously
wanted to please.

As she finished the cup, she spoke softly,  "Thank you, I needed that."

The reply was a pretty grin, as the younger woman took the cup and
disappeared, presumably into the kitchen.  Ritsuko flopped back onto the
bed, staring at the ceiling, hoping that someone had snuck in and written
the answers in lipstick on the tar-stained stucco.  No such luck.  Anger
washed through her, followed by despair.  Why couldn't she just have a
normal happy life?

Then it occurred to her.  She wasn't wearing her dressing robe, just the
bra and panties that had been underneath.  Suddenly Maya's rapt attention
took on a different light.

As her face started to flush, she chided herself.  She had no need to be
body conscious, being physically unattractive was one of the few things
that certainly wasn't wrong with her.  On the other hand, it wasn't
normally like her to go flaunting herself about, especially not to younger
women.  Still, it was nice to have some validation, even it was only
physical.  But it was from another female, and Maya was practically a
little sister.

While her internal debate continued to rage, its instigator returned,
standing quietly in the doorway.  Finally, Ritsuko turned her head, slowly
taking in Maya.  There was worry and concern in her eyes.  And something
else.  Respect?  Admiration?  Love?  Lust?  Rather than face the look, she
rolled over, pulling the bed's comforter around her mostly bare body.

After a lengthy silence, something touched her shoulder softly.  At first
she thought it was the blankets, until she felt the warmth.

"Ano, sempai?"

Those fingers were much too soft and smooth.  A life long technician and
engineer should have rough calluses from constant use.

"What?"

They were distracting her.  It was bad enough to be assaulted by images
constantly.  The Dream, Rei, Misato and now this.  The hand settled
slightly, bringing a palm in contact with the skin of her arm.  Slightly
moist.  A clinical and a detached portion of herself attempted to decide if
it was nervousness or something else.

The anxiety practically oozed in her voice, "Are you okay?"

Ritsuko considered it.  "No."  It came out more forcefully than she
intended, carrying the faintest hint of hysteria.

With a horrified gasp, Maya jerked her hand away.  Ritsuko winced under the
covers.  Sure, kick the puppy, that's real sensitive.

Another prolonged silence descended on the room.  It seemed to Ritsuko as
if hours had passed, but not the slight noise could be heard.  She rolled
over again, ready to face the consequences of her actions.

The tech was leaning against the doorframe, her face damp with
perspiration.  Perspiration?  Then it hit her.  Not sweat.  Tears.  Maya
was crying.  She was crying.  Ritsuko felt as if she'd been punched in the
stomach.  Her own eyes stung.

Rolling off the bed, she started to reach out.  Then she checked herself.
She couldn't do it.  Touch her.  She backed down.

Maya turned and fled.  In defiance of physics, a single tear seemed to
float to the ground where she'd been standing.

With a half formed groan, Ritsuko curled up into fetal ball, wishing the
whole world would go away.

				    ***

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Ring.

"Yo."

"Ano..."

Misato would recognize that hesitation anywhere, "What's up Maya?  How is
she?"

The receiver hung silent in her hand for a long while.

"Maya?  Hello?"

"...."

The NERV commander of operations just sighed.  "That bad?"

Finally the younger woman spoke, softly, "I asked her if she was okay."

"And?"

"She said no."

Misato blinked and nearly fell off her chair.  "That's all?  She just said
'no'?"  Something more had obviously transpired.

There was several more seconds of silence.

"Come on girl, I can't help you if you won't tell me what happened."

"I touched her shoulder."

This was like pulling teeth with vice-grips.  "And?"

"She... she...."  The poor girl was obviously near tears.

Fighting to keep the exasperation out of her voice she offered, "And
she...?"

Finally Maya collected herself, taking a shuddering breath.  "She rejected
me."

A-ha!  "Rejected you?  How?"

The tech stammered, trying to find words for the look that her sempai had
given her.  "She didn't want me."

Misato just gaped at the phone.  She had known that Ibuki looked up to
Ritsuko as a professional, and that they were rather good friends, but
she'd never quite suspected that the feelings ran that deep.  Curse words
bubbled to her lips, which clamped shut to prevent them from escaping.
Talk about misjudging a situation.  An image of the two women in a
passionate embrace popped into her head, further distracting her.

Maya and Ritsuko.  As a couple.  Somehow she could imagine it perfectly.
They fit that way.  As a couple.  The distracting part of her brain
wondered how else they "fit".

Taking a deep breath of her own, she tried to regain enough composure for a
proper response.  "Didn't want you?  How are you sure?"  Katsuragi Damage
Spin Control to the rescue.  Flow with the situation, baby.

Around semi-choked sobs Maya tried to convey a description of the look
of loathing she'd seen in Ritsuko's eyes.  Contempt.

Thoughts raced furiously in Misato's head.  It didn't sound right at all.
Ritsuko sometimes came across as a snob, even back in college, but she
wasn't like that.  And on top of that, she did seem genuinely fond of Maya.
She'd driven off several assistants with her uncompromising demands before
Maya had been assigned to her.  But Maya and Ritsuko as a couple?

"Maya."

No response.

Switching to the command voice she used during a crisis, Misato tried
again.  "Maya!"

"Y-yes?"

"Get a hold of yourself.  You're not doing yourself or Ritsuko any good
having a breakdown on the phone.  She doesn't hate you.  She's upset,
confused, and an emotional wreck right now.  Go back and talk to her."

Maya's voice got even quieter, "Are you sure?"

"Well... no.  But she's obviously under a lot of stress.  Ritsuko has never
randomly snapped at people in all the time I've known her.  And I know she
likes you a lot.  Certainly she doesn't hate you."

"She doesn't?"

Misato grinned in spite of herself, "Didn't I just say that?  Come on, go
back and talk to her again."

The silence on the other end of the phone was a different sort this time, a
gathering of resolve rather than despair.  "Okay."

"Good girl.  Call me again if you need to."

"Okay.  Thank you, Misato-san."

Hanging up the phone, the captain rocked back in her chair, balancing it
precariously on two legs as she thought.  Mostly she wondered if Maya had
any chance at all.  Back in college, there had been rumors that Ritsuko
swung that way, though mostly she figured it was because the blonde was so
absorbed in studying and work that she never went out with any guys.
Misato had even thought about asking her to her face once.  The idea held a
sort of fascinating revulsion.

Her former roommate, one of her best and only friends in her adult life
might be a lesbian.  And on top of that, cute little Maya almost definitely
was.  A girl she worked along side of every day.

Misato pondered the implications.  Had Ritsuko been secretly scoping her
out while they'd lived together?  She'd wondered then, and now she
wondered again.  Did Maya ogle her when she wasn't looking?  How should she
feel about that idea?  Her initial reaction was dread and nausea.  That's how
she was supposed to feel, right?

				    ***

The stucco ceiling slowly closed in on Ritsuko as she stewed in a morass of
self-hatred and what-ifs.  Closer and closer it came, bearing down on her
with the weight of all her sins, real, perceived, and imagined.  Atlas had
it easy.

Once again she considered the out her mother had taken, then put it aside.
She wasn't that desperate, not yet.

For a long while she stared at that ceiling.  No lipstick.  No gold letters
directing her.  Not even a tar stain in the shape of Elvis.

Some sixth sense within made her look up.  Through the doorway she could
see Maya.  Standing in the middle of the living room, staring at the floor
with the same hope she'd had for the stucco over her bed.  Finally the girl
looked up, face set.  And then her eyes met Ritsuko's and the strength that
was there drained away.

It would be so easy to lay there as she fled.  To let her run, push her
away.  Instead, Akagi Ritsuko did one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
She waved her hand, beckoning Maya into the room.

The console tech reacted like she'd been struck by lightning.  Eyes wide
and back rigid, she came forward, drawn as if against her will.  At the
door she stopped, eyes wide with hesitation and doubts, mouth full of
unspoken excuses and questions.  A bashful child summoned before her
elders.

Ritsuko levered herself up, fighting off dizziness.  The bedcovers fell
around her, revealing the lack of dress she'd been so ashamed of earlier.
Now, it was inconsequential.

"Sit," she croaked, patting the edge of the bed.  The dryness of her mouth
and throat were surprising.

The girl came closer, moving in fits and starts, reluctant and ready to
bolt.  Their eyes locked.  With great effort Ritsuko brutally suppressed
the part of her that wanted to snicker at how cliche the whole thing felt.
Maya would sit and they'd pour their souls out to each other and somehow
everything would magically be okay.  That's how it always worked in the
movies.

Apparently the scriptwriter for Ritsuko's life was a third rate hack.

As the younger girl crossed the threshold of the room her foot caught on
the carpet runner and she stumbled, pitching precariously.  Ritsuko lurched
forward, trying to reach out a supporting hand.  Instead she missed,
sliding off the edge of the bed, ass-first, as Maya fell past her in the
opposite direction.

They impacted simultaneously, and for a few brief moments a pair of voices
uttered shrieks of pain and no few unprintable oaths.  Then Ritsuko started
laughing.  Not the hysterical laughter that had been threatening to bubble
out under the crushing pressure of stress, but an honest and clean
laughter. The absurdity of the situation was overwhelming.  Moments later
Maya was giggling halfheartedly.

"Pathetic, aren't we?" Ritsuko asked from her position on the floor.

The console tech just nodded, grimacing as she nursed her wrist.

"Hurt your hand?"

Another nod.

Ritsuko stood, wincing and rubbing her tailbone as she stood.  "Let's get
ice for it then.  You're no good to me as a protege if you can't type."

Several emotions flitted across the girl's face in rapid succession.
Gratitude won the race, but was quickly overcome by some more basic
happiness.  The pained grin turned into a dazzling smile.  Ritsuko was
nearly floored by its force.

It was the first time she'd seen that smile.  Not the shy bashful one she
usually used when complimented, or the slightly smug smirk that came out
after she'd beaten some program into submission, or even the amused smile
usually invoked by her coworker's zany antics.  It was a pure thing,
elemental and amazing.  And it made Ritsuko's head spin.  It was definitely
a smile she wanted to see again.  What had she said to cause it?

Quickly she realized that she was staring and turned, heading for the
kitchen while still rubbing her ass.

				    ***

NERV Central Operations was dark and gloomy, though only the former was an
unusual condition for the high tech war room.  The overhead lights were off
and most of the screens dimmed, only a few vital ones left on to spill a
dingy rainbow of distorted statistics around the room.  And in the murky
technological jungle a predator prowled.  Or perhaps paced would be a more
accurate description.

Katsuragi Misato had a lot of thinking to do, and she found that most of
her best thinking was done on the command floor.  And so she paced.  Trying
to analyze the current situation facing her, no, all of NERV, in the same
manner she'd handle an angel attack.  Logically and straightforward.

First, a situational report.

Ritsuko was a mess.  A complete bundle of nerves that went off like a
loaded gun.  Maya wasn't much better, floundering in a quagmire of
insecurity.  Maya liked Ritsuko.  A lot.  Perhaps as more than just a
friend and mentor.  There had been rumors that Ritsuko wouldn't be adverse
to that sort of relationship back in college, but no confirmation.  The
image of them as a couple popped into her head again, and she quickened her
pacing in response.

Situational analysis.

Right now the scientist was having a breakdown, the console tech a fit of
inadequacy.  And they were alone, sequestered in Ritsuko's apartment,
trying to work things out.  Another image popped into her head.  She paced
faster, nearly manic in her marching back and forth across the room.

Impact statement.

So far, just the two.  The Children were safely out of the line of fire.
Asuka had gone to Hikari's, Shinji was at home reading or cleaning or
something, and Rei was... wherever Rei went when she wasn't busy.  The
higher ups were more or less ignorant of the details.  Gendou had given
Ritsuko time off to rest, Fuyutsuki seemed blissfully unaware of the
problems.  The other technicians and science staff?

A whispered voice interjected into her internal monologue, "Misato, can we
please, please, turn on the lights?"

She whirled, snapping out, "Not... yet!  And be quiet, I'm thinking."

The other console techs were restless.

Plan of Action?

Misato was stumped.  She distinctly didn't like being stumped.  Forcing the
two of them together in the first place had been her doing.  It was obvious
that Maya was hoping for something more specific to happen than the captain
had been thinking.  How to make the relationship to work, or at least
prevent it from becoming a disaster?

Another area Misato wasn't terribly good in.  Her one long term
relationship had end--  That was it.  She'd ask Ryouji, he'd probably know
what to do.  And hadn't he even tried to date Ritsuko before she'd gotten
together with him?

Before the thought even completed she was out the door, moving as close to
a full run as her rather tight dress would permit.

"Think it's safe to turn the lights on now?" whispered Aoba.

Hyuuga pondered for a moment, then muttered, "Better leave them off for
now."

"Yeah.  She might come back and check."

"Women are scary."

"You said it."

				    ***

Maya moaned, beads of sweat dotting her forehead as she thrashed weakly.

Ritsuko soothed her, "Hush, and hold still."

In reply she groaned, arching her back a bit more.

"This might hurt a little at first."

Ritsuko moved her hand, twisting as she pushed.

The groan intensified a bit, then settled out into uneven panting.

"That wasn't so bad was it?"

Wonder filled Maya's eyes, as she reached out and clutched Ritsuko's hand
with her own.  "No.  It's feeling much better now."

"See?  You'll have to be careful with it for a week or so, but as long as
you don't strain it again, you'll be fine.  Now, put this ice pack on it."

"Ooh, it's cold."

Ritsuko smiled easily, comfortable in the clinical role, despite her
troubles.  "That's sort of the idea, isn't it?"

The smile wasn't quite the same as the brilliant one that had made her so
weak earlier, but it was definitely a nice sight.

"Come on, let's sit while you ice that wrist."  She gestured out towards
the main room.

Maya settled on the edge of chair, diligently holding the pack to her arm.
As usual, it looked as if she were ready to fly away at the slightest
provocation.  The only time Ritsuko had ever seen her really relax was when
she was parked in front of a machine somewhere, or half embedded in it.
Some part of her brain gently nudged her with the thought that she wasn't
much different.  With sudden self-consciousness, she dropped onto the
couch, sprawling out with studied casualness.

They sat quietly for a while.  Several times Maya looked like she was going
to say something, only to cut herself off.  Finally Ritsuko prompted her,
not quite precisely echoing another of their coworkers.  "Yes, Maya?"

She looked stricken for an instant, but before she could stop herself, her
question tumbled out.  "Can I ask you a question?  I don't want to impose
or pry or anything, and it's kind of personal, so I'd understand if you
didn't answer and all--"

Ritsuko cut her off mid-babble.  "Yes.  You can.  But only if I get to ask
one first."

At the affirmative the girls eyes widened until they were nearly as big
around as a teacup, and she nodded wordlessly.

"You sure?"

"I'm s-sure," she stuttered.

Locking gazes again, "What made you smile at me that way?"

Once again Ritsuko was treated to a lightning blitz of emotions marching
across the girl's face.  Shock and shame and fear flashed by in tight
formation.  Maya ripped her eyes away, locking on to the floor between them
like a magnet.

An unwelcome old friend, silence fell upon the room.  Refusing to relent,
Ritsuko waited for the answer.  After several long minutes, Maya mumbled
something to the rug.

"What?"

After only a dozen or so seconds the younger woman said it again.  A bomb
shell detonated inside Ritsuko's stomach.  She wouldn't have been more
shocked if Shinji grew a spine and Asuka became a nun avowed to a life of
humility.  Not even if Gendou had worn a flowered dress in front of the
SEELE High Council and announced he was the Angel in drag destined to save
the human race with his soul music.

All because it was the first time she'd acknowledged aloud that Maya was
her chosen protege.  So simple an act.  One she'd assumed that everyone,
including Maya herself, had understood.  In a blinding flash of clarity,
she became aware that she never once actually had explicitly stated it
before.  Was she really such a... so....  Words failed to express the shock
she felt.

Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes, but she couldn't quite
figure out why.  Then Maya was kneeling before her, head buried against her
leg, sobbing apologies over and over.  On autopilot she began to stroke
Maya's hair, softly murmuring comfort.  What could she have done, said,
been, to engender such utter devotion?  How could she possibly deserve it?

She slid a finger under the girl's chin and exerted a gentle pressure.  As
her face came up, their eyes locked again.  There was no doubt at all; Maya
would do anything Ritsuko asked, except leave.

"Ibuki-san, can you ever forgive me?"

The younger woman just shook her head ever so slightly, unwilling to break
eye contact.  "There is nothing to forgive."

A single tear finally worked itself free, trailing down her cheek.  Maya
jerked back, a look of horror on her face.

"No!"  Panic speared Ritsuko, who grabbed the smaller woman's shoulders,
dragging her up from her knees, gathering her into an desperate embrace.

"No!" she said again, this time a whisper, directly in Maya's ear.

For a long time they were still, Ritsuko sitting on the couch, clenching
Maya to her.

				    ***

Kaji was tending to his watermelons.  For all his rough and tumble
adventurer image, he rather liked being domestic.  It was in the garden she
found him, hose in one hand, cigarette in the other.

"Kaji-kun?"

"Oh, hey, Misato-chan.  What's up?"

Misato hesitated, "Uh, not much."

He looked at her strangely for a moment and then returned to his watering.
At a loss for how to broach the delicate subject, Misato just stared at his
back for some time.  So, remember Ritsuko, that girl you tried to date in
college and now work with, do you think she's a lesbian?  She was direct,
but not that direct.  Finally she opened her mouth.

"Yes, Misato?"

She mentally cursed him, he always did that to her, knowing she was going
to speak before she did.  "Err, well...."

Kaji sighed and reached over to turn off the water, laying down the hose.
"Come on," he waved her toward the house, "we'll get a drink and you can
tell me all about it."

She followed him in, and they headed for the kitchen.  As always she
shuddered at the interior decoration.  Ryouji had excellent taste, for a
man, but absolutely no sense of continuity.  The living room was spare,
functional modernism, black and white and chrome in clean lines, but the
sitting room next to it was done in a light oak paneling with pastel trim
and ornate wooden furniture.  Each was exceedingly well executed, but
together the effect was... jarring.

Fortunately, before she had time to ponder it further, a cold can was
slapped into her hand.  Instinctively she popped the tab and started to
guzzle.  Something wasn't right.  It took a second to identify what.  This
wasn't beer.  Lowering the can, she looked at it.  Red and a white stripe.
Cola. 

"Ano, Kaji-kun?"

He shrugged apologetically.  "I know.  I haven't got any in the house right
now.  We'll have to make due."

Misato stared at him for a bit.  Kaji, with no beer in the house.
Something seriously strange was going on.  She looked him up and down.
Didn't look any more scruffy than normal.  She asked, "Hey, are--"

"No.  I'm not doing drugs or anything.  I'm just out of beer."

"Dammit, stop doing that."

Now he was staring at her.  "Doing what?"

Completely off balance, she snapped, "Answering my questions before I ask
them!"  Then she hiccuped.

Kaji blinked.  She hiccuped again.  Hiccup.  Now she was starting to blush.
Hiccup.

"Are you okay, Misato?"

Hiccup.  They were getting stronger too, shaking her whole upper body.  The
effect was not at all lost on Kaji, who tried to at least act the gentleman
and ignore it.  Hiccup.  "I've got the hiccups."

"Err, so you do."  It was very hard to ignore.

Hiccup.  "Don't stand there like an oaf!"  Hiccup.  "Get me some water!"

"Right.  Water."  He quickly located a glass and filled it from the tap.
Hiccup.  He offered it to her, nearly spilling it as his eyes wandered to
her bustline.  Hiccup.

With a giant intake of breath she downed the water, holding it as long as
possible.  Her face started to turn red, then purple, then finally blue,
and with an explosive blast she let it out.

Kaji smirked, "You okay now?"

She started to nod, then stopped.  Hiccup.  Stifling a laugh, he gestured
to the glass again.  Once again she tried to rid herself of them, breathing
in, gulping and generally doing an impersonation of a beached fish.  

Quiet ruled the kitchen for a moment.  Hiccup.

Kaji started to openly snicker.  "How about some sugar?"

Misato just nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  It took a minute for
Kaji to locate the bag of sugar, while every few seconds she jerked and
squeaked involuntarily.  By the time he went for a spoon, he was nearly in
tears from the laughter.  Glaring, she grabbed the bag from him and upended
it into her mouth.  And received a second surprise.  She coughed
explosively, misting white crystals everywhere.

"Kaji, you--"  Spit.  "--idiot!"  Spit.  Hiccup.  Spit.  "This is salt!"
Hiccup.  Spit.

The target of her ire was literally rolling on the floor, holding his
sides.

Three glasses of water and a half dozen hiccups later, she'd rinsed the
salt out of her mouth, and started desperately searching the cupboards for
sugar.  Behind her, Kaji gasped helplessly.  She turned to growl, but was
interrupted by another hiccup.  He just laughed harder, begging for someone
to make it stop.

Finally she found the sugar.  Wiser from her previous experience she tested
it with a finger instead of ingesting it blindly.  Yes, definitely sugar.
She emptied a small pile onto her tongue and started sucking.  Her
breathing slowly calmed.  She waited.  Kaji slowly got himself under
control.  She waited some more.  Finally, it was over.

Hiccup.  It started low in her throat, and crawled up like an animal, a
wail to stir the dead.

Kaji climbed to his feet, wincing.  "Oh for Christ's sake, Misato!"  he
cried.  And with that, he grabbed her arm with one hand, and her waist with
the other.  Dragging her towards him, he planted a full mouthed kiss on
her surprised lips.

				    ***

"Ano... sempai?

Ritsuko's reply was distant and slurred, "What?"

"I need to move just a little."

"Oh," she mumbled, and let her arms go lax.

Maya didn't go far, just slithered her body sideways to relieve the burning
strain on her back.  Tucking her legs, she curled up on the couch at
Ritsuko's side like a child.  Head on her mentor's shoulder, arm draped
across her stomach, she sighed a contented sigh.  "Okay now."

				    ***

The shock scrambled Misato's senses, for an instant she resisted, then
instinctively she melted into the kiss.  Then she realized just what was
happening and who it was trying to suck her tonsils out.  She stiff-armed
him in the chest with her free hand.

"Kaji, stop it.  You brute."  The insult somehow lacked the bite she'd
intended.

Slowly he pulled away, dropping her wrist, but letting his hand linger on
her hip.  She twisted away and tried to glare at him.  His smirk was
disarming.

"They've stopped."

"Huh?"

"Your hiccups.  They've stopped.  Shock always works."

She paused, surprised again.  "You're right.  They have."

One corner of the smirk curled up even more.  "I'm waiting."

"Err."  She looked abashed.  "Well... thanks, Kaji-kun."

Still grinning, he sketched a bow in her direction.  The dirty look she
tried to give him never quite made it.

"So what brings you by?  Obviously not the fine selection of beverages."

Misato scowled and grabbed the can from the counter, defiantly taking
another swig.

Sighing, he said, "Come on, let's sit."

Stepping into the sitting room, Kaji plopped into an oversized recliner,
sprawling casually across it.  Misato followed, taking a more careful seat
on one end of the sofa.  For a couple seconds they traded glances.

"You know you want me."

"Oh, please."  The rolled eyes and hand on the forehead did an adequate job
of displaying her disdain.

"So what did you want?  You don't drop in like this without some kind of
reason."

Again, she considered how to broach the subject on her mind.  "Actually,
it's not about me.  I've got sort of a... question... for you."

He looked at her expectantly.

"Well, you know Ritsuko, right?"

It was his turn to roll eyes and act put upon.

"You tried to date her when we were in college, right?"

"Yeah, didn't get very far though.  Cold fish, I say."

Misato grinned weakly.  "Well, she's been acting sort of...." 

"Strange.  Weird."  When she shot him a glance of inquiry, he casually
waved a hand.  "I've heard about it.  Besides, you can't expect me not to
know what's going on with all the pretty ladies, can you?"

Her turn, again.  "At any rate," she continued, and then launched into an
explanation of the past several days.  When she finished, he didn't say
anything, staring at the ceiling instead.

"Well?" she prompted.

"Explains a lot actually."

"Hunh?"

He ran fingers through shock of hair that hung over his face.  "No normal
woman can resist my charms."

Misato threw one of the cushions on the sofa at him.  "Be serious," she
demanded.

"We both heard the rumors in school, right?"  He shifted uncomfortably,
sitting more upright.

"Yeah, but I always figure she was just too involved in her studying.  She
was like that, you know.  A real--"

"Cold fish."

She sighed.  "Yeah."

Kaji shrugged.  "As I said, it does explain some things.  Besides, so
what?"

She gaped at him.  "So what?"

"Yeah.  What difference does it make?"

She stammered for a bit.  "Well, that is.  I mean.  We went to school with
her, and now we work with her everyday."

"Yes, we do.  So?"

"Well, I mean shouldn't we at least... know about it?"

"Why?  Thinking of making a pass at her yourself?"

Misato turned fire-engine red, embarrassed and angry.  "Of course not!" she
asserted, throwing the other arm cushion at him.  "Keep your twisted
adolescent fantasies to yourself."

Kaji gave her another strange look, then lightly tossed one of the pillows
back.  "Then it's not a problem.  She's the same person you've known for
years."

"But...  but..."  Finally she gave up, standing with a loud groan and
stomping towards the door.  "Nevermind, I should have known better!"

He wordlessly watched her go, carefully letting the other cushion rest in
his lap.

To the otherwise empty room he declared,  "Interesting."  The room silently
agreed with his assessment.

				    ***

It was an indeterminate amount of time later that Maya realized Ritsuko was
stroking her hair.  At one point the exhausted woman had fallen asleep, and
younger girl had been content to remain at her side, idly tracing the flesh
of her stomach with her finger.  Listening to the regular sounds of of her
breathing and the slow beating of her heart.  She must have been lulled to
sleep herself.

It was surreal.  A week ago she would have only dared to dream of something
like this.  Just earlier today, she was sure that she'd ruined any chances
she'd ever had.  Now, here she was, curled up beside her sempai, who was
still clad in only a bra and panties.

"You never asked your question."

"Huh?"

"You wanted to ask me a personal question.  But I asked you one first.  You
never asked yours."

"Oh."  She could feel her cheeks heating up.

"You're blushing."  Ritsuko's voice was cool and collected.  She sounded
like the calm scientist she was supposed to be, rather than the bundle of
raw nerves she'd been earlier.

"...and you still haven't asked."

Maya shifted a little, covering her discomfort by snuggling closer.  "It
was nothing."

Her sempai was never one to be put off easily.  There was teasing in her
tone now, "But I want to know.  You answered my question, it's only fair I
answer yours."

Once again, the shy girl shifted, burying her face into Ritsuko's flesh.
"Really, it was nothing."

Sensing she'd pushed too much, she relented, "It's okay then, you don't
have to tell me."

The relationship between them had changed, was changing, it would be a
while before they found the proper equilibrium.  Maya's stomach churned, an
embarrassing reminder she hadn't eaten all day.

"Mmm.... someone is hungry.  In fact, two someones, I think."

Glad for the change of subject, she nodded, slowly untangling herself from
Ritsuko, so they could get up.  "Do you want me to make something?"

Standing, Ritsuko shook her head, "There's nothing in the house to cook
with.  We can reheat the Chinese food Misato brought earlier.  Knowing her,
there's enough for a week.  The girl never did understand moderation."

Maya just stifled a giggle of agreement and headed for the kitchen, walking
tenderly as the kinks in her muscles slowly relaxed.  While her sempai had
been sleeping the first time, she'd cleaned up the mess, putting the paper
cartons in the refrigerator to prevent them from spoiling.  She transfered
them to the microwave now, careful to pull the metal handles off first,
humming happily as she did.  There was nothing else to drink, so she
started to make more hot chocolate.

Having detoured to the bedroom for her robe, Ritsuko came in.  She noted
the little kettle on the burner and said, "Hot chocolate and cashew
chicken.  Not the best combination.  I really should go shopping soon."

"I can help," Maya nodded, assisting the food in making it's final trip to
the table.  She fetched the teapot, just starting to whistle, and poured
boiling water into the prepared cups.

There was little talking as they attacked the meal, but the quiet was
companionable, rather than strained.  Just two friends, restoring their
strength after a tiring ordeal.

				  ***

Ritsuko trailed down the aisle after Maya with an amused look on her face.
It was something special to watch her shopping, a seemingly random mix of
childish enthusiasm and restrained calculation.  Vegetables were selected
with an expert and critical eye, but walking past the breakfast cereals
proved to be a ten minute diversion as the variety of shapes and flavors of
marshmallow cardboard had to be explored, with an eye towards the included
plastic prizes.

Normally, the scientist stopped at convenience stores on her way home,
grabbing pre-made dinners and cooking them in the microwave.  After
finishing the scrounged dinner, Maya had more or less insisted that they go
to a real store to buy real supplies.  She'd been so eager that Ritsuko had
to gently remind her that a bathrobe and underwear wasn't appropriate dress
for shopping.  Maya had blushed at that, but there was a faint gleam in her
eyes that indicated she might not have minded as much as Ritsuko would.

It was already late when they had left, and most stores in Tokyo-3 were
long since closed.  Fortunately, Maya knew of a 24-hour supermarket, so off
they went.  And shortly thereafter, Ritsuko found herself sailing sedately
in the wake of the younger woman, pausing to pick up random items that Maya
neglected in her fits of distraction.  The basket she carried was starting
to fill, and from the look of it, Maya had even more in hers.

"Slow down.  There's no hurry.  The store isn't closing, and we've got
nowhere to be."

A new smile crossed Maya's face, a sly, almost feral, grin.  Once again,
Ritsuko felt something inside her react to it; a different smile, a
different part, a different reaction.

Shrugging, her grin vanished, "Can't spend all night shopping."

Ritsuko shrugged in reply, putting aside the thought of Maya's smiles for
another time.  "I have everything I need that I didn't see you get."

They headed for the front of the store, piling the contents of the basket
on the checkout counter.  The clerk, a bored boy of no more than 18,
shifted forward lazily, beginning to ring up the items.  He didn't bother
to make small talk as he worked, but it was obvious he was certainly paying
attention to more than the groceries.  As he finished, Ritsuko stepped
forward, swiping her NERV identity card through the scanner while Maya was
still fumbling with her purse.  Eyes flashed momentarily from under the
brown bangs, but Ritsuko kept her own gaze cool and impassive.

"My groceries, I pay."

Finally Maya turned, defeated, and picked up several of the plastic bags.
Collecting the rest of them, Ritsuko followed her out of the store.  Maya
pouted in silence for several long minutes on the way home.  The slow burn
of annoyance started in Ritsuko's stomach.

Suddenly the girl turned, an impish smile on her face,  "Did you see how he
was looking at us?"

Ritsuko looked stupified for a moment, trying to figure out what Maya was
referring to.  Finally it hit her, and she started to laugh.  "How do you do
that?"

"Do what?" she asked, as puzzled as Ritsuko had been just a moment before.

"Know exactly what to say."

The smile was a bit uncertain this time, and it made Ritsuko break into
another round of chuckling.  "Nevermind.  Let's go home."

				    ***

The console tech was perched again, on the arm of the sofa this time.
Ritsuko watched her from the other end of it, as if waiting for her to take
off like a startled bird.  It had taken only a few moments to put away the
groceries and that long again for her to convince Maya that they didn't
need to cook right now.  Idly, she fingered her still sore feet.  The
apartment was western style, but both had kicked off their shoes upon
entering.  Maya noticed her discomfort and slid fully onto the couch.

"Let me?"

She only hesitated a fraction of a second before stretching out her legs.
Maya went to work immediately, digging her thumbs into the sole of the
blonde's right foot.

Ritsuko's cry was low and full of awe, "Jesus Christ!"

Pausing, Maya raised an eyebrow.  "Wha--"

"Don't stop," Ritsuko interrupted.  "Where on earth did you learn to do
that?"

Maya just smirked and started up again.

"That feels incredible."

"Good.  That's how it's supposed to feel."

"Really, where did you learn to do it?"

"From one of my friends in school."

"Remind me to grovel if I ever meet them."  Ritsuko's eyes were nearly
rolled back into their sockets.

Giggling.  "Okay."

After giving the right foot a complete work over, the younger woman
switched to the left.

"That is so unreal."

Maya smirked again and started her ministrations.  Several minutes passed,
with only the occasional groan of delight from Ritsuko.

"Turn over and I'll do your legs too."

"Sure.  Is there enough room?"

"No problem."

Ritsuko rearranged herself on the couch, flipping face down, cradling her
head in the crook of one arm while the other dangled toward the floor.
Above her, Maya flexed her fingers and then attacked Ritsuko's calves.
Kneading and rolling the aching muscles, she worked more with the balls of
her thumbs now, rather then the tips

The following minutes were punctuated only by more moans.

The final grunt was disappointment as Maya lifted her hands from Ritsuko's
legs.  If the older woman didn't have her head buried, she might have
noticed the devilish grin that was slowly forming on her protege's face.
But instead, the hands that dropped onto her back were a complete, if
pleasant, surprise.

If Akagi Ritsuko thought that the foot massage was the top of Maya's
talent, she was quickly proven wrong.  Backrubs were definitely the girl's
specialty.  Ritsuko melted under the touch, turning into a little puddle
that threatened to drip down into the couch.

All she could manage was a weak, "Oh."

"You like?"

"Like."  A pause.  "Like."

Maya laughed, slowly working from shoulders towards waist, digging in
fingers and rubbing out the accumulated stress.  Her victim was beyond
moaning and groaning, occasionally sighing approval.

"Alright, enough.  You can't fall asleep on the couch."

"Mmmmm.... why not?"

Blinking, Maya tried to come up with a good reason.  "Uhhh, because."

Ritsuko chuckled weakly into her sleeve.  "Okay."

"Come on, up you go," Maya said, grabbing the free arm and pulling.

Staggering unsteadily as she tried to remember how to make her feet move,
the NERV Chief Scientist yawned.  It had been a long day, emotionally,
despite several naps.  The smaller woman was at her elbow, carefully
guiding her towards the bedroom.

Tiredly, she slurred, "If you don' wanna walk home, you can sleep on the
spare futon.  Pillows and blankets in the closet."  She pointed as they
passed.

Maya reddened as several inappropriate thoughts ran through her mind.
"Okay, thank you, sempai."

"Don' mention it."

As they hit the room, Ritsuko began clumsily removing her clothes, still
headed for the bed.  Maya watched her go from the doorframe, still faintly
flushed.

"G'night, Maya."

"Goodnight, sempai."

				    ***

Akagi Ritsuko thrashed in the grip of a dream.  Not just any dream, the
Dream.  The foremost of her numerous personal demons, the bane of her very
sanity.

But something was subtly different.

"Ritsuko!"

Those magical hands caressed her, gripped tightly on her arms.

"Ritsuko!"

The voice was low and soft, yet loud and worried in her ear.

"Sempai!"

Sempai?  That had never been part of the Dream before.  Only one person...

"Sempai, wake up!"

Wake up!  It was the Dream!  Someone wanted her to wake up.  Someone who
called her "sempai".

With a shudder so strong it approached a seizure, Ritsuko came fully awake.
She ripped her arm away from Maya, jerking back.

"Sempai, are you awake?  Are you alright?"  Her protege's voice was thick
with concern.

"Shower."

The word stopped the next question in its tracks, unspoken.

"Shower!" she croaked, her throat dry and scratchy.

Maya just stared.

Suddenly aware of her state of undress, she tried to gather the bedclothes
around her sweat-covered body.  "Go.  Turn it on!"

Comprehension lit Maya's face, and she whirled, dashing for the bathroom.
After a brief pause, and a curse word that Ritsuko wouldn't have guessed
the young girl knew, the water came on.  Almost immediately she was back,
worry and confusion battling for control on her face.

Ritsuko was ashamed beyond words, to be caught as she was, so out of
control.  Especially in the aftermath of the Dream.  She waved a hand
towards the rest of the apartment.  "Out."

"But--"

"Out," she demanded, interrupting.  Maya headed for the door, hurt written
clearly on her face.  Knowing she'd taken it the wrong way, Ritsuko added,
"Later."

The door closed, leaving her blessedly alone.  Untangling herself from the
sheets, she rose.  She tried to move with confidence, determination.
Instead she felt her body reacting as if drunk, wobbling beneath her like
gelatin.  The shower had already already heated up, steam pouring out of
the stall.  She stumbled in, leaning against the wall for support.  Slowly
she sank to the floor, letting the hot liquid run over her.

				    ***

With a brief flash of annoyance, Gendou noted that the majority of his
upper command staff was missing.  Nowhere in the NERV Operational Manual
were working hours explicitly stated, but by this hour everyone had
normally arrived and should have been busy with their daily activities.
Instead everything was silent.  Only a few technicians were posted at the
monitor stations, maintaining their vigil for signs of an Angel attack.

No Children, but they should be at school at this hour.  No Katsuragi and
no Akagi.  Lieutenant Ibuki appeared to be missing.  Kaji Ryouji wasn't
around, but that wasn't particularly unusual.  Even his former mentor
turned right-hand man, Fuyutsuki, had failed to turn up.  With an irritated
motion, he reseated his glasses.

Worse, there was relatively little he could do about it.  He'd explicitly
given Akagi time off.  Katsuragi was a wild cannon, but too effective
during a crisis to risk disciplining for so minor a matter.  Kaji was
outside his jurisdiction.  Coming down on the technicians was possible, but
would look bad if he didn't also punish the command staff.  And low moral
was bad for efficiency.

The only scheduled activity was the normal low-priority battery of tests on
the EVA units.  Certainly nothing he could claim was critical.  With an
inaudible sigh, he almost wished for an Angel attack, just so he'd have
justification to make examples.

He wandered towards his office, mentally composing the beginnings of his
next report to SEELE, searching for just the right combination of
arrogance, vague promises, and thinly veiled sarcasm.  Why should he be
annoyed alone?

				    ***

Maya slowly and deliberately adulterated her coffee, mechanically mixing in
large portions of cream and sugar.  It was the fourth time she'd done so.
To the same cup.  She took a sip and grimaced in disgust.  Then, equally
mechanically, she rose and moved to the sink, dumping the drink down the
drain.  Pouring herself a fresh cup, she sat at the table again.

A moment later she reached for the cream and sugar.

She was trying to figure out what she was felt.  It wasn't easy.
Everything was a giant emotional jumble inside of her.  Mostly, it was
worry, concern over Ritsuko's state of mind.  The hurt of being pushed
away, especially so brusquely, still lingered.  Another part of her was
well aware that her mentor had presented a very attractive image, naked and
glistening lightly with sweat.  And there was little mistaking the scent
that lingered in the room.

Had that reaction been for her?  She hoped so, and then berated herself for
the sheer hubris of the idea.  Absently, she added a spoon of sugar to her
coffee.

Furthermore, she was still trying to catalog the events of the previous
night.  The crushing pain of imagined rejection, the overwhelming joy of
acceptance, both as friend and colleague.  Her petty anger at being
thwarted at the store, and subsequent embarrassment over the childishness
of it.  A little more creamer.  The hunger that threatened to overwhelm her
rationality during an otherwise innocent foot massage and back rub.

Dimly she became aware that the pipes still sang, carrying water to the
shower.  It had been more than half an hour since Ritsuko had shooed her
away.  In fact, it was beginning to creep up on an hour.  Low grade panic
settled into her gut, unwelcome like a carrion bird.

She tried to convince herself that everything was fine.  Ritsuko was a
grown woman, capable of taking care of herself.  She just liked long
showers, that was all.  Five, no, ten more minutes.  Then she could worry.
More sugar.

Seconds stretched on like hours.

Ten minutes.  <I mustn't worry.>

Hours became weeks.

The hum of the water running through the pipes taunted her.  Ritsuko had
fallen, it whispered, and hurt herself terribly.

"No."  She said it aloud, hoping the sound could cement the truth of it.
Cream.

Weeks piled into decades.

Finally she could take it no more.  The spoon clattered from her limp
fingers, spilling white crystals across the table.  She raced towards the
bedroom, throwing open the door.  It was only a few steps to the bathroom
itself, but she nearly ran them in her haste.  The smoked glass door of the
shower was closed, steam slowly spilling out over the top, a waterfall of
mist.

Two long strides and her fingers touched the handle, grasping as dread
roiled inside.  She wanted to fling the door wide, but she forced herself
to slide it gently open.  Moist air tumbled out and down, around her legs,
droplets beading up on every surface.  At the bottom of the stall sat
Ritsuko, legs curled up, arms hugging her knees, head down.  The sudden
chill made her look up.  The normally blonde hair was dark with moisture,
dripping ringlets that hung over her bleary eyes.

It was another forever moment, infinitely long, indefinitely short.

Maya's hand shot out grabbing a towel from the wall rack.  She advanced
towards the shower, a firm gaze locked on Ritsuko's confused one.

"Up.  Stand.  Out.  Now."  The tone of her voice echoed the one her mentor
had dismissed her with earlier.  No argument would be accepted, no
hesitation allowed.

Unfortunately Ritsuko wasn't quite up to playing her part.  She unfolded
from her fetal ball, then tried to drag herself upright.  But that was as
far as she got.  She couldn't quite get her feet to support her.  Slowly
she slid back to the wet tile.  Maya jammed the towel back in the rack and
marched straight into the shower after her.

Doing a credible impersonation of a drill seargent, or maybe just Misato,
Maya barked, "Come on.  Ready?  Up."  Grabbing the unresisting Ritsuko
under the arms, she lifted.  This time her charge stayed erect, though a
brief slip nearly sent them both to the floor again.  She maneuvered one of
Ritsuko's arms over her shoulder.  With a brutal grace that would have done
a UN riot-control officer proud, she dragged Ritsuko out of the stall.

"Can you stand up now?"

Not quite waiting for the shaky nod, Maya retrieved the towel and went to
work drying Ritsuko.  Her first passes were long strokes, almost rough,
trying to quickly remove as much water from the dazed woman as possible.
As the thick cotton fabric soaked up the moisture, Maya's movements became
softer, more caressing.  As hard as it was, she kept it entirely
impersonal, trying to not pay special attention to the nude body before
her.  Trying not to let the motions turn into the sort of sensual foreplay
she wanted them to.

She finished on her knees, carefully patting the shapely calves dry.
Looking up, she realized Ritsuko's face was still wet, which puzzled her,
since she'd gently dried it right after toweling the hair blonde again.
Then the role-reversal struck her like a lead sap.  Ritsuko was crying.
Instantly she was on her feet again, hands holding her mentor's shoulders.

"Hey?  What's wrong?  What is it?"

What started as a few damp tracks had turned into full out streams, and
broken bits of sobs were wrenching themselves free from Ritsuko's lips.

She shuffled a quarter step closer.  "Come on, tell me what's wrong."

After several stuttering starts, and between heaving gasps, Ritsuko managed
to weep, "I got your clothes all wet."

Maya was struck dumb.  The urges to laugh and cry hit her simultaneously,
and she took another half step, throwing her arms completely around
Ritsuko, burying her face against the base of the crying woman's neck.  Her
own eyes were dripping as well, and she stifled a giggle that was
interrupted by a series of hiccups.  "It's okay.  It's okay."

After several minutes she realized that the air in the bathroom had quickly
cooled.  A tiny shudder ran through her.  Levering herself up onto her
tiptoes, she kissed Ritsuko softly on the cheek.  She'd been aiming for the
lips, but at the last minute her courage had failed.  Pulling back a bit,
she attempted to screw her face up back into a stern mask, "You.  Into
clothes.  Now."

A weak and tired smile tugged the corners of Ritsuko's mouth upwards a tiny
fraction.  Her still moist eyes crinkled a bit, twinkling slightly.  "Okay,
boss,"  she retorted, voice was hoarse but level.  Pulling away
reluctantly, Maya grabbed one of Ritsuko's wrists and tugged her into the
bedroom.

She looked around for a minute,  "Where?"

Ritsuko shrugged her shoulder and head towards a small dresser.  As Maya
began rummaging the drawers for something appropriate, the nude woman
seated herself on the edge of the bed.

"Aha!"

"Aha?"

"Aha."

"Indeed."

"Here.  Perfect."  Maya turned, holding a pair of deep green sweatpants and
a somewhat ratty white t-shirt.  "Arms," she requested.

Ritsuko held her arms up obediently.  Still decidedly ignoring the
forbidden fruit before her, Maya pushed the shirt sleeves onto Ritsuko's
arms.  "Raise 'em."  With a quick pull and tuck, the process was complete,
though some part of Maya wished it wasn't.

"Legs."  As requested, her feet came up, leaving Ritsuko looking like a
schoolgirl sitting on a swing.  The legs of the sweats were slid on.

"Stand."  She held the waistband as Ritsuko put her feet down and lifted up
off the bed.  With one more tug and another twinge of regret, Maya
completed her task.  "Better, right?" she asked.

Ritsuko smiled softly, "Yeah.  Better.  Thanks Maya."  She gathered Maya
into a hug, then yelped and leapt back.  "You, missy, are still wet."

Looking down quickly, a sheepish grin spread on Maya's face.  "Yeah."

Carefully composing her face into a twisted version of Maya's previous
sternness, she commanded, "Strip."

Maya felt a flush rapidly creeping up her neck.

"Come on, out of those wet things."

Hesitantly, she started unbuttoning and removing her clothing.  The skirt
dropped into a small puddle on the floor, followed shortly by the tunic.
She stood shivering as the cool air licked at her damp skin.  She was
tremendously glad she'd bothered to put on nice underwear, rather than
wearing the frumpy plain white she often did.

"All of it.  You'll get blisters if you don't."

The flush crawled ever higher, turning Maya's face beet red.  But she did
as instructed, reaching behind her back to unhook the bra, letting it drop
into the pile.  She was sure her cheeks were bursting into flames as she
hooked a thumb under the waistband of the panties and peeled the soaked
nylon down her legs.  As the fabric settled around her ankles, she stepped
out of them and delicately flicked it with her toes, sending them into the
pile.  It took all her willpower to keep from trying to cover her nudity
like a schoolgirl.  Instead she just looked at her mentor.

Ritsuko was finally grinning, as their roles reversed yet again.  However,
the embarrassment that Maya was attempting to conceal melted the grin into
something softer.  When she spoke, her voice was almost a whisper, "There
should be another pair of sweats in there, and couple more t-shirts."

Turning with as much dignity as she could muster, Maya began to dig for the
clothes, still resisting the urge to use one hand to hide herself.  A few
moments later she was inhabiting a pair of gray fleece sweatpants and a
blue t-shirt with a sports logo on it.  Already her face was returning to
normal flesh tones.  She turned to Ritsuko again, a "what now?" look on her
face.

A slightly perplexed "I don't know, I thought you did" look greeted her.

So they continued to stare at each other.  In short order, Maya was
blushing again and Ritsuko had joined her.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah."

Finally they broke eye contact, slipping out of the bedroom.  Maya closed
the door behind them.  Forgotten in the background, the shower still ran,
raining water down on the empty stall.

				    ***

School let out and streams of students poured out of the building.  Social
groups reformed from the chaos, clumps that reached critical mass and broke
away from the main, slowly drifting apart.  Gossip and chatter filled the
air, punctuated by calls for attention.

Ikari Shinji slid through it all, an invisible specter, untouched by the
maddening normality.  As he walked it dispersed around him, people falling
away at each corner, gone into stores and parks.  Two more streets and he
was almost free.  He sighed.

As he trudged along, he became aware that someone was walking beside him.
With him?  He spared a tiny glance to the side.  Asuka.  Figured.  He
considered asking her why she walked beside him.  It was too much effort
and he probably wouldn't like the answer anyways.

Another street.  In the glass on the bakery he noticed that Ayanami was
following, four or five meters back, but pacing them.  That intrigued him,
far more than the redhead did.  Asuka was chaotic and unpredictable, a
seething ball of emotion and neurosis likely to lash out for little or no
reason.  Rei was the opposite, but equally inscrutable, completely self
contained, stone faced and a bit spooky.

He slowed his pace even further, letting the gap between them dwindle.
When she was a couple steps back, he returned to his normal gait.  He
wished he had the confidence to just talk to her normally.  He felt
strangely comforted around the pale haired girl.

With a slight wince he braced himself.  Asuka had drawn a breath to speak.

"Hey, Shinji?"  Her tone was thoughtful, not belligerent.  It might change,
but it was a good start.

"What?"

"What do you think is going on?"

"Hunh?"

"You know.  Ritsuko.  And Misato.  They've both been acting real weird."

"Misato?"

"Well, not so much her, but Ritsuko's been absolutely freaking out for
almost a week now."

"Yeah, I guess.  I don't know."

"You've been here longer than me.  Does she do this normally?"

"Uh."  Shinji thought some.  This was probably the longest conversation
he'd had with the Second Child that hadn't degenerated into insults or
namecalling.  "I don't think so.  At least, I never noticed it before."

"Weird.  I wonder what her problem is."

"We are each alone, but Akagi-sensei is more alone than most."

Abruptly, Asuka halted.  Shinji hesitated in mid-step and then stopped.
The fireball was staring, jaw hanging loosely.  Finally her tongue worked,
moistening her lips.  "She speaks."

It wasn't until that point that Shinji realized it was Rei that had spoken,
not Asuka.  He twisted his head slightly, looking at Rei, who had also
stopped.  Her face was as impassive as ever, no sign that she'd offered an
unsolicited opinion.

After an uncomfortable pause, Asuka verbally prodded, "What do you mean?"

Rei's gaze shifted slightly to Asuka and held there for a moment.  Then she
cocked her head ever so slightly and offered the barest hint of a shrug.
After another long heartbeat, she started walking again, passing between
the still stunned Shinji and the befuddled Asuka.

"Do you know what she means, Shinji?"

He shook his head slightly.  "No."

At long last Asuka retreated behind her normal defense against the world.
Throwing up both hands in exasperation, she snorted explosively and stalked
off, muttering about being "surrounded by weirdos".

Standing at the corner, Shinji slowly swiveled his head back and forth,
watching both girls draw away.  For a sudden brief moment he imagined that
he understood "more alone than most" all too well.  He sighed.

				    ***

Lunch was passable, but plain.  Neither of them had been paying much
attention to preparing the food.  Subtle electric glances filled the air,
surrounding them with a curious tension.  At first they had been full of
embarrassment, but slowly it became mutual amusement, and then, the teasing
started.

To her own surprise, Maya was the one who started the games.  With a sigh
of pleasure, Ritsuko had finished a slice of orange, making some comment
about how rare it was for her to eat fresh fruit.  With an impish grin,
Second Lieutenant Ibuki Maya reached out and snatched a slice from her
mentor's plate, quickly bringing it to her mouth.  Then, with exaggerated
motions, she slowly devoured it, taking tiny little bites and licking her
lips to get all the juice.

Ritsuko stared in shock, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in awe.

Trying desperately to keep the idiot grin off her face, Maya cleaned her
fingers, sucking the remains of the orange off them.  She stared deep into
Ritsuko's eyes.

With a slight shudder and a blink, Ritsuko tore her gaze away.  She stared
at her plate for a moment, then a flash of resolution touched her face.
Reaching out, she took another slice of orange from the plate.  Slowly,
hesitantly at first, she tried to duplicate Maya's performance.  Quickly
she found that it was harder to eat an orange in that manner than it
looked.  Tiny bits of pulp clung to her lips and the dribbles of the sticky
juice ran down her chin and hand.

It was Maya's turn to sit stunned.  Never, in even her wildest imagination,
did she think she'd see Ritsuko, by all appearances the quintessential
demanding blonde ice queen, slurping apart an orange like that.  What had
started as good natured teasing was rapidly getting out of control.  Fate,
however, chose to intervene.

Beep.  Beep.

The sound wasn't loud, but it ripped through the kitchen like a
thunderbolt, boiling away the mood.  Ritsuko looked around, trying to
identify the sound.

"God damn it!"  Maya didn't need to look, she knew exactly what it was.

"Hunh?"  The change in pace was too much for Ritsuko, she looked
bewildered.

"My comm.  That's my comm."

Understanding flooded Ritsuko's face.  "Oh."

Maya didn't reply, but instead stalked into the living room, retrieving her
purse.  She dug the unit out of it, deftly flipping it open.  Her scowl
deepened as she stared at the message on it.  Stabbing brutally at the pad,
she dialed a number and held the unit to her ear.  Ritsuko pushed her chair
away from the table and moved to the edge of the kitchen.

"This is Ibuki.  What is it?"  There was no mistaking the irritation in her
voice.

There was a pause as someone on the other end scrabbled to explain
themself.

Maya's tone of voice went from annoyed to incredulous.  She snapped into
the unit, "That's it?  You beeped me for that?"

Another pause.

"Don't bother.  I'll come in."  Now she was annoyed again, but it was a
more controlled annoyance.  With her back to Ritsuko, she didn't see her
face fall at the last statement.  With a sharp motion, Maya refolded the
comm unit and jammed it back into the handbag.

"Problems?"  Ritsuko had quickly slammed a mask of impassive detachment
over her hurt.  Work was important.  Work came before silly emotional
games.

"Yes.  We hire the damn operators to watch the fucking machines, not
think."  The vulgarity seemed incongruous, coming out of such a petite
slip of a girl.

"Oh?  So what happened?"

"The moron," she pause, then spat the next word violently, "thought he
could fix a minor problem, and ended up making a godawful mess of
everything."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes in sympathy.  She'd dealt with enough incompetent
assistants to know exactly what the technician was feeling.  "You're going
in, then?"

A hammer blow couldn't have stopped Maya's anger any faster.  "Yeah, I
really need to get the system back up."  The emotion was nearly tangible.

"That's okay.  Go on."

"Are you going to come too?"

Ritsuko thought for a moment.  "No, I don't think I'm quite ready yet."

With a short nod, Maya stepped forward.  Her hands came up, slipping around
Ritsuko's waist, pulling her unresisting friend close.  Lips puckered, she
moved in for a kiss.  On the lips, she'd do it this time, definitely.  But
once more, her confidence abandoned her at the crucial instant, her lips
swerving to Ritsuko's cheek.  This time, with no wet clothes to interrupt,
their bodies pressed against each other.  Heat and softness, two forms
melded together.

In her ear, Ritsuko whispered, "You'll come back?"

In response she planted a kiss at the juncture of Ritsuko's neck and
collarbone.  "Of course.  As soon as I can," she murmured.

Only with great regret did she step away, turning and almost running out
of the apartment.

Somewhat numb, Ritsuko threw herself down on the couch.  "What the hell is
happening to me?"  The room kept its own council.

				    ***

Misato stared out over the Geofront, looking but not seeing.  She was at a
loss.  Ryouji was supposed to give her a plan, or at least, inspire her to
come up with one on her own.  Instead of helpful, he was casually
infuriating.  Absolutely nothing new there.  And to suggest such a thing.
Her, making a pass at Ritsuko?  Ridiculous.

She wondered why the idea bothered her so much.  These were liberated
times, right?  People could be what they wanted, and that was okay.  Right?
With a slight shudder, she tried to imagine Ritsuko making a pass at her.
She couldn't even bear to think about it.

With a sullen kick, she sent a rock sailing down the hill.  What was the
big deal, anyway?  She wished there were someone she could talk to.
Ritsuko was the closest thing she'd had to a friend, back when they were in
college.  Now there was no one, really.  The brief thought of trying to
talk about it with Shinji fluttered through her head.  It brought a smile
to her lips.  He'd probably get a nosebleed and pass out.  Guys his age
were like that.

She ran down the list of people she could talk to.  Gendou was out, he'd
just raise that eyebrow, and then ignore her.  Fuyutsuki would probably
have a coronary on the spot.  The other techs... would probably react just
like Shinji, and worse, the gossip would cover the entire base in mere
seconds.  The remaining list was short.  Maya.  Ritsuko.  The causes of the
trouble, and last two people she really wanted ask about it.

But there seemed no other option.  The concept of letting things work out
on their own never entered her mind.

She kicked another rock down to join it's brother and then slid into the
driver's seat.  One way or another she was going see this situation to it's
end.

				    ***

Ibuki Maya stormed through the halls towards NERV Central Operations.  Her
anger was a palpable aura around her, driving people out of her way like a
snowplow.  Even the stony faced men and women that made up NERV's security
teams stepped aside in deference.  They knew which battles to fight.

Stomp.  Stomp.  Swipe.  Stomp.  Stomp.  Stomp.  Swipe.  She nearly dropped
her badge.  Stomp-stomp-stomp.

She ripped the chair out from under the console and seated herself firmly
in it.  Mere seconds later, she was lost to the world.  Her fingers were a
blur on the keyboard as she worked to undo the damage to her precious
system.

Aoba and Hyuuga exchanged worried glances across the room, each nodding
minutely in unspoken agreement.

				    ***

Hesitantly, Misato reached for the door, prepared to knock.  Her hand
paused, an inch from the surface, before she snatched it back and spun on
her heel.  She took three steps away from the door and then halted herself.
She was going to do this.  She had to do this.  She had to know.  Turning
back towards the door, she reached out again.  And then turned away.

While her back was turned the door opened on it's own.

"Oh, Misato.  It's you."

Of all the things Misato had expected to be greeted with, it was not that.

Lamely she turned back, a sheepish grin on her face.  "Yeah.  It's me."

The look on Ritsuko's face was clearly disappointed.  Who had she been
expecting?  Maya?

After several seconds, she was prompted, "Well, are you gonna pace out here
all day, or are you coming in?"

Misato was now completely off her stride.  Meekly, she followed the other
woman into the apartment.  Ritsuko threw herself onto the couch, arm
resting over her face, legs dangling from the edge of the cushions.  This
was not how things were supposed to happen.  She was supposed to say,
'Ritsuko, what's going on between you and Maya?', and then Ritsuko would
reply, 'Huh?  What do you mean?', or maybe 'None of your business'.
Instead, she stood just inside the entrance to the apartment, ignored.

"Err...."

No response.

"Well...."

Finally, Ritsuko shifted, sitting up.  She looked at Misato briefly, then
settled back into the couch.  "Yes?"

Misato's train of thought chased it's own tail.  She was supposed to ask
Ritsuko something.  Now she couldn't remember what it was.

With a shrug, the blonde woman got up and went into the kitchen.  Misato
stared at the floor in front of her feet.  Water was running.  In the
kitchen.

Ritsuko came back and stood in front of her.  She tried to say something,
but it was gone before her mouth could follow through.  With a slight shake
of her head, Ritsuko held out her hand.  When a second passed and Misato
had made no move towards her, she reached forward, grabbing one of Misato's
limply dangling hands, wrapping it around something cold.  

Operating on autopilot, she brought her arm up.  A can.  She cast a
suspicious glance at the chilled aluminum.  Not cola.  Still in a trance,
she popped the tab and began to guzzle.  Beer.  Cold beer.  A moment later
the can was empty.  She lowered it.

"Hello.  Earth to Misato, come in Captain.  Do you hear me?"  Ritsuko
definitely sounded amused.

"Err, what's going on?"

A long second passed.  Then someone started to laugh.  Ritsuko.  She was
laughing.  That was good, right?

"Misato, come on and sit down, before you forget how."

She felt herself being pulled along, then pushed into a chair.

"You want another beer?"

Finally she managed some words.  "Yes.  Please."

Several minutes and another can of Yebisu later she had her composure back.
Mostly.

Setting down the glass of water she was nursing, Ritsuko asked, "You okay
now, Misato?"

"Yeah, I think so.  I don't know what came over me."

"Well it was certainly interesting."  The humor was obvious in her voice.

Misato shot her a weak grin.  "I'm glad you thought so." 

Ritsuko chuckled.

Continuing, Misato asked, "How about you, are you okay too?"

"Me?"  She looked thoughtful, "You mean the other day?  Yeah, I think so.
I don't know what came over me."

"Hey, that sounds--"

"--familiar?"

They shared a brief laugh.  Slowly, Misato's face sobered.  "Seriously,
what's going on?"

Ritsuko's face cooled to match hers.  "Nothing.  A couple of rough nights,
no sleep.  You know how it is."

It was obvious that it wasn't entirely nothing.  "Come on Ritsuko, I've
know you longer than that.  I thought we were--"

"--friends?"

Misato nodded.

"Well, friend to friend, it wasn't anything.  Forget about it, I'm fine."

Inexplicably, she felt hurt.  One of the very few people she called friend
wouldn't trust her.  "If you say so.  What about Maya?"

The question seemed to hit home like a hammerblow.  Ritsuko looked stunned,
almost afraid, for a brief instant.  Then it was gone.  "Maya?  What of
her?"

But Misato had scented blood.  She leaned forward in her chair, "Yes, you
know, Maya?  About 160 centimeters tall, brown hair, cute as a button?
Your assistant?"  For some reason the last qualifier earned a wince.
Interesting.

Ritsuko sniffed.  "I know who you're talking about.  What about her?"

Misato was momentarily stumped, she couldn't just come out and say 'Are you
sleeping with her?'.   She tried a slightly different tack.  "I just wanted
to make sure she was alright too."

Blue-gray eyes narrowed.  "Are you implying something?"

Whoa, direct hit, but not the reaction she'd been expecting.  "No, no.  Of
course not.  But when I left here she was going to stick around and make
sure you were okay.  Did she get home alright?"

To her credit, Ritsuko only hesitated an instant, covering it by taking a
sip from her glass.  "We ended up going shopping."

Very interesting.  She knew part of the story, since Maya had called her
for advice.  But this was more or less direct confirmation that the girl
had spent the night.  "Oh, okay," she said, feigning disinterest.

Eager to change the subject, Ritsuko held out her hand, "Another beer?"

"Sure."  She handed over the empty and leaned back as Ritsuko went to the
kitchen.

				    ***

With a deep, heaving sigh, Maya surfaced into the real world.  Her fingers
ached, and her eyes didn't seem to focus quite right.

Someone shoved a cup of tea into her hands, which she drank.

"Everything all fixed?"

She cracked an eyelid.  It was Aoba.  "Yes.  I think."

"It didn't take as long as I figured from the way you stormed in here."

"What can I say, I'm good."

Her comment drew a snicker.  Around most people, she was painfully shy, but
Aoba and Hyuuga were almost like brothers.

Hyuuga asked, "So what happened?"

Maya launched into a flurry of technobabel, summarizing the problems and
the work she'd had to do to fix them.  When she finished, they whistled.

"Not bad.  I'm surprised the failsafes didn't catch anything though."

She nodded.  "Me too, until I realized that since the operator himself
started the whole thing, the failovers wouldn't come on line."

Aoba looked confused, "Huh?"

With a grin, Maya went into lecture mode, "The failsafes are designed to
find abnormal problems with the system, those incurred by power spikes,
outside attack, hardware failure, and the like.  Since this was initiated
by a human, the system assumed he knew what he was doing and bypassed the
normal watchdog checks.  So the failover systems never activated."

"Oh.  Of course."

She punched him lightly in the shoulder.  "Yes.  Of course."

"Hey, that reminds me," chipped in Hyuuga.  "You missed the poker game last
night."

"Oh, was it-- yeah.  Oh.  I'm so sorry, guys."

"It's no problem.  We just wondered where you were."

Maya flushed, realizing what they'd say if they knew the truth.  "I got
tied up with other things, I'm really sorry."

Aoba and Hyuuga looked at each other, interpreting the flush for what it
was.  Or so they thought.

"Tied up?  Kinky."

"Oooh, Maya's got a new boyfriend!"

Turning even more red, she shrieked, "I do not!"

They did a little imprompteau dance around her station, chanting in unison.
"Maya's got a boyfriend, Maya's got a boyfriend!"

She sat in her chair, face aflame, sputtering denials.

Finally they wound down, sitting back in their chairs.

"So tell us--"

"--what's he like?"

"I do not," she started, standing.  As she whirled on her heel, she
finished her assertion, "have a boyfriend!"

"Aw, come on, Maya, don't get mad, we're just teasing."

She raised her nose into the air, adopting air of suffering nobility.  "You
men are all alike."  And with that she sailed out of the Op center.

The two male technicians watched her go, then turned to each other.

"Men?"

"You don't suppose...."

They shared another glance.  "Nah."

				    ***

Ritsuko pried a partially crumpled can out of Misato's fingers.  "That's
enough for you, Miss.  I bought it for cooking and you can't drink it all."
The other woman made an inarticulate noise of disappointment, but didn't
fail to give up the can.

Looking her over, Ritsuko clucked.  "I'm sort of surprised, it normally
takes twice this much to get you drunk."  It was the only fifth or sixth
she'd drained and she was, if not drunk, at least rather tipsy.  

"Haven't eaten," she mumbled.

Nodding, Ritsuko turned back towards the kitchen.  "Well, for a change,
that's something I can fix.  Hold on."

Captain Katsuragi wasn't going anywhere soon.

Several minutes later, the scientist returned, weilding a knife in one hand
and an apple in the other.  Misato gave her a bleary-eyed look of
disbelief.  "Fruit?"

"Thank Maya.  I told you we went shopping."

Dutifully, she intoned, "Thank you, Maya."

The routine was an old one, well established during their time as roommates
in college.  No small number of times had Ritsuko nursed Misato through a
hangover or put the drunken girl to bed.  Truth be told, the reverse had
happened at least a few times as well.  Shaking her head, she began slicing
the apple, passing the chunks to Misato.

"Oh wow, this is good.  I'd almost forgotten what one of these tastes
like."

Misato's statement made Ritsuko recall a similar conversation she'd had
earlier that day.  With a tremendous effort she kept herself from blushing.
Instead, she passed another slice.  "Yeah."

Before long the apple was gone.  It wasn't really enough to put more than a
dent in Misato's appetite, so Ritsuko returned to the kitchen once more.
When she returned, a sandwich in hand, she discovered that the dark haired
woman had fallen asleep in her chair.  For a moment, she studied her.
There was something different about Misato when she slept, some underlying
tension that seemed to finally relax.

Ritsuko wondered what sort of dreams the woman had.

				    ***

Kaji wandered into The Other Side.  It was amazing how much it felt like
home to him.  He took great comfort in the atmosphere:  the hint of stale
smoke, spilled beer and greasy food.  Nearly any bar would do, but
particularly ones with pool tables and a good jukebox.  And cute waitresses
never hurt.

The Other Side was popular among the NERV and UN staff in Tokyo-3, so it
was no surprise that he recognized a fair number of faces.  He nodded
recognitions and greetings as he threaded the tables, heading for the
counter.

"What'll it be tonight, Mac?  The usual?"

"Hey, sure, why not?"

The bartender was a short man, an unknown breed of ethnic origins, with
dirty brown hair and a faint accent.  Everyone called him 'Joe', and he
called everyone 'Mac'.  "Okay, Mac.  Two blondes, a brunette, Wild Turkey,
straight up, and a chaser."

Kaji grinned.  The Number Seven Grin.  Rakish, yet casual and with a tiny
touch of arrogant smirk.

With deliberate drama, Joe pantomimed searching the shelves beneath the
counter.   "Oh, so sorry, Mac.  We're fresh out of girls for you..."

It was a familiar routine.  "Woe is me, what ever shall I do?"  He raised
an arm to his head, palm facing outward, sighing.  "Guess I'll have to
drown my sorrows with alcohol."

"You got it."  

The first drink slid across the bar and came to rest an inch from Kaji's
hand.  Cliched, but a nice touch anyways.  He really loved this place.
Grabbing the glass and draining it in a single motion, he set the tumbler
down just beyond the path of the incoming beer.  With a shake of his head,
he let out a small whoop.

"You been hanging around your ladyfriend too much, Mac."

Number Eleven Grin.  "Taught her everything she knows."

Joe shrugged ever so slightly.  "Figures."

Kaji just laughed, picking up the stein and heading for the pool tables.
Per custom, he detoured to the jukebox.  It was an old-fashioned model,
with real discs in it, instead of a computer storage system.  He fed a
pocketful of change into it, selecting tunes at random.  Divine providence
seemed to work pretty well for his music tastes.  That, and the fact that
Joe kept the machine stocked with good stuff.  None of that modern
synth-jazz, or worse, retro-country.

He slung his jacket onto a chair and selected a queue from the rack.  Time
for some serious shooting.  As he racked the balls, he noticed an unusual
pair drinking at one of the tables.  Shigeru Aoba and Hyuuga Makoto were
not normal visitors to The Other Side.  Especially without Maya.

With a casual saunter, he approached them.  "What's up guys?"

Hyuuga was flushed, but his words were clear enough,  "Not much."

On the other hand, Aoba was well on his way to some private Nirvana.
"Scary."

Kaji seemed to ignored him.  Any regular bar patron learned to tune out,
deliberately or otherwise, the mumbling of someone three sheets to the
wind.  "Wanna shoot a few games?"  These two represented a prime
opportunity to satisfy some curiosity.

"Sure," answered Hyuuga, rising.  Aoba didn't move, staring into his beer.

As they returned to the pool table, Kaji jerked a thumb over his shoulder.
"What's with him?"

"It's been a rough couple of days at work."

It was an effort to keep the smile of a hunting shark off his face.
Instead, a Grin Number Four, innocent, yet sympathetic.  "Oh?" 

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

"That bad?"

Hyuuga just sort of shuddered.  "Eight ball?"

"Sure, go ahead and break."

They played in silence for a few minutes.  Kaji toyed around, going for
trick shots and trying to sink multiple balls in a single shot.  No sense
in finishing before he got what he was looking for.

"Nice shot."

"Thanks.  So Misato still on the warpath?"

That earned him a glance.  "You heard?"

"Only some some rumors.  But you know...."  He didn't need to finish the
comment.  Everyone knew of his relationship with Misato.

"Yeah," Hyuuga agreed.  "Between her and Maya, it's eggshell city."

"Cute little Ibuki?"

It earned him a tired grin.  "Don't let her hear you say that, she'll tear
you a new one."

Switch to Grin Number Two.  The 'Who, me?' special.

				    ***

Ibuki Maya was in hell.  Or at least something closely approximating it.
She'd spent four hours that afternoon, cleaning up the disaster that
resulted from the machine room operator's idiocy.  She should have gone
straight back to Ritsuko after that.  Definitely should have.

Instead she decided to check a couple more things, install a few more
safeguards, then modify the failsafe system to be a little more
intelligent.  Simple tasks.  Nothing that should of taken more than twenty
minutes, normally.

After two more hours, she still sat at her console, wearily punching keys.
The new routines were still conflicting with the old, triggering spurious
system panics and generally being a pain.  And on top of that, she
discovered another whole segment that showed subtle signs of corruption
from the initial problems. 

"Dammit, I just wanna go home," she whined.  She was drowning in misery.
Any minute now she was going to burst into tears, she just knew it.

There was no one to hear her complaints.  Gendou, in a fit of either rare
pique or even more rare generosity, had declared the day a wash and sent
everyone home.  Only the barest skeleton cleaning and maintenance crew
remained.

It took yet another two hours, but eventually she got everything mostly
stable.  The additional safeguards had been rolled-back, left for some
future debugging session.  The corruption was contained and flagged so the
automated backup system wouldn't attempt to access it.  Her fingers ached.
Her back ached.  Her legs ached.

"I wanna go home!"

The room seemed to sigh in agreement.

				    ***

"The six, corner pocket, off the left pad, then the seven in the other
corner, off the back."

"Ooooh, risky."

Grin Number Three.  Cocky, and no little arrogance.  Kaji put the queue to
the table, carefully lining up.  It was the third game they'd played.
Slowly, he was getting what he wanted.  Misato had explained things to him
from her viewpoint, but that was no doubt biased.  Couldn't make critical
decisions on that.

"So Maya went home?"  Stroke, even follow through.

"I don't think so."  

Score.

"She was still working when we snuck by."

Miss.  Kaji glared down at the seven ball, teetering on the lip of the
pocket, then rolled his eyes.  Aoba moaned from his chair, and Kaji could
hear the words 'scary women'.  Poor lad was traumatized.

"Hope she's okay," he offered.

Hyuuga nodded.  "Me too.  She does all the hard work."  Then he let his
lips quirk into a rough, but recognizable Number Seven Grin.

Kaji laughed.  "You're okay, Makoto.  Now quit stalling and shoot already."

				    ***

Asuka let herself in to the apartment, slipping off her shoes and dumping
her bookbag on the floor.  Something smelled good.  Really good.

"Oi!  Misato?  Shinji?"

Shinji's soprano rang out from the kitchen.  "In here."

She followed her nose.  It was beautiful odor, rich and doughy, baking
bread with just an overtone of roasting meat.  It smelled like... smelled
like....

"Shinji, what are you making?" she demanded.

"A German dish.  Uh, bu-- bubbleschitzer?"

She was momentarily shocked, "You mean bubenspitzen?"

"Oh, yeah, that's it.  I got the receipe from a book.  Those German words
are really hard to remember."  He actually looked pleased with himself.

She tried to smother the laughter that was threatening to consume her.
"But why bubenspitzen?"

He looked at her and shrugged.  "Because I felt like something different.
Misato's made ramen four times in the past week.  I like ramen, but that's
a little much, even for me."

He was obviously unaware of what he was making.  For a moment, she
considered enlightening him as to what the name of the pasta dish was slang
for.  He'd probably get a nose bleed and pass out.  The image drove her
smile.  How perfectly appropriate that he was the one making it.

She was still sort of surprised he was cooking at all.  Sure, Shinji never
protested when forced into domestic duties, but he honestly seemed happy to
be cooking.  He was even wearing an apron.  Where the hell had he gotten it
from?  And where did he learn to cook bubenspitzen?  It wasn't one of her
absolute favorite dishes, but after a steady diet of fish and rice and
those anemic Japanese noodles, the thought of anything from her homeland
was making her mouth water.

She wanted to say something witty, sarcastic, maybe even mean.  But her
desire to taste real food again was overwhelming.  Instead, she managed a
polite, "When will it be ready?" from behind her grin.

He turned to her and smiled, "Maybe ten more minutes.  I hope Misato makes
it in time, she's usually home by now."

No Misato yet.  Asuka filed that for future consideration.  Shinji's smile
was disturbing too.  Someone had once shown her a picture of Ikari Yui,
Gendou's wife and Shinji's mother.  With the apron and that smile, he
looked almost exactly like her.  Only the hair color would be different.

It wasn't the first time she'd thought he looked like a girl.  Put him in a
frilly dress and you'd never guess it was a him, not a her.  Especially if
he grew his hair out a little.  Asuka toyed with that notion for a bit,
mentally laughing at the image of Shinji as one of those sugary sweet idol
singers the Japanese all seemed so fond of.  He wouldn't even have to raise
the pitch of his voice much.

"What's so funny?"

Ooops.  She realized she'd been laughing out loud.  "Nothing.  I'll go wash
up."

As she changed clothes and washed her hands, she wondered about Misato some
more.  Ritsuko had been acting really strange.  Even Shinji the Dense and
Rei the Wonder Doll had noticed that.  But their keeper had been acting
weird too.  What was going on?  Asuka hated being left out of the loop.
Something big was happening and she had no clues.  Time to start digging.

Dinner was superb.  The bubenspitzen was only average quality, and the
rindfleischsuppe was a little weak for her tastes, but the meal made up for
at least two weeks worth of instant ramen and tasteless rice.  She took
special relish in biting the peg-shaped pasta in half while smiling at
Shinji.  He smiled back, blissfully unaware.  He'd even served it with
meatballs and the traditional white gravy.  Several times she had to stop
eating to stifle the laughter.  The poor boy assumed she was just enjoying
the food.

"That was decent, Shinji.  You'll have to make it for me again some time."

Now if only she could get a good bratwurst anywhere in Tokyo-3.  Maybe
she'd ask Kaji.

				    ***

"Rack 'em up, and let's do it again,"  Hyuuga slurred.  They were on about
their twentieth game, and about their fifth pitcher of beer.  He was
working on being seriously sloshed.  Kaji was definitely buzzed, but not
yet drunk.  Aoba was face down on the table, as he had been for almost
three pitchers.

It had taken a good bit of time to dig the details of Misato's and Maya's
rampages out of Hyuuga without alerting him to the subtle prying.  But in
the end it was pretty obvious that Misato was almost as unsettled by this
whole business as Ritsuko and Maya were.  She was just better at hiding it,
even from herself.  It was something she'd excelled at for as long as he'd
known her.

Now he was faced with something of a dilemma.  What to do?  He could very
easily bend the outcome of the situation in nearly any direction he wanted,
just by revealing what he knew to the right people.  Or offering a few
words of encouragement or denial in the right place at the right time.

It wasn't his job to mess with their lives, make them happy or sad or
anything else.  He felt no moral compulsion to do so, either.  But they
were people, ones he'd known a long time.  His college years were among his
most vivid memories, and many of those memories included the three of them.
He paused to sink the four ball in a side pocket.

At the same time, it could make his job so much easier if he did.  Any of
the potential endings to the story could be made to work to his advantage,
but some more easily than others.  But that balanced the ever present
potential for backfires, especially if he wasn't subtle enough in his
manipulations.  That would make his duty nearly impossible.  The trust and
sympathy of friendship would evaporate into hostility towards a meddler.

He missed a particularly difficult bank shot and growled at himself, having
left an easy series for Hyuuga.  The man was too drunk to follow through,
most likely, but it annoyed him anyways.

"Aw, tough luck, man."

Kaji slapped a false Grin Number Six on.  "Your shot, buddy."

He would have to be very subtle.

				    ***

Growing worry started to gnaw in Ritsuko's stomach.  Maya hadn't come back
yet.  She hadn't called.  Nothing.  It was getting late.  She sat on the
couch, holding another cup of hot chocolate.  She considered calling Maya
herself.  No, she had no right.  Maya had just said she'd be back, not
when.

An hour before, the phone had rung, but it turned out to be a salesman.
She wondered how long he'd be deaf in that ear for.  Most of the day had
been spent cleaning up.  Somehow the shower had been left on, and the
bathroom floor had been a disaster.  Plus her normal cleaning habits were
less than perfectly diligent.  She was tired again, despite sleeping in.
Her eyes were fighting a holding action, slowly slipping downwards as she
struggled to stay awake.

Finally, it came.  That quiet, timid knock on the door.   Ritsuko nearly
sprang from her seat, exhaustion sublimating into hesitant expectation.
She tried to compose her face as she opened the door.  It was a doomed
attempt.  The instant she caught sight of the figure on the other side, her
face screwed up into a look of utter horror.

Ibuki Maya smiled wearily.  Her hair was disheveled and her tunic was
stained and wrinkled, the collar undone.  Looking down at the floor, she
mumbled, "I must really be a fright."

"Oh Maya...."  She trailed off as she felt tears sting the corners of her
eyes.  "What happened?  Are you okay?"  The words just sort of tumbled out
of her mouth.  She grabbed the brunette by the shoulder, half dragging,
half leading her into the apartment.

"Yeah, fine."

"Sit, sit.  Before you fall down.  Here."  Ritsuko shoved the cup she'd
been holding into Maya's hands.

Maya sipped, then tried to grin as she tasted the sweetness.  It came out
as more of a grimace.  Carefully, she set the cup down on the coffee table
and then fell backwards into the cushions of the couch.

"You really are a mess."

A vague grunt was all the answer Maya could summon.

"Come on, sit up."

The young woman just held out a hand.  Ritsuko grabbed it and pulled,
dragging Maya mostly upright.  Gently, she turned her sideways on the
couch, and dug her fingers into Maya's shoulders.  She'd never really given
anyone a backrub or massage before, but having been on the receiving end of
Maya's talents, she would make due.  

"Feels good," mumbled the massagee, slumping back into her hands.  A
swelling of pride and affection ran through Ritsuko. 

They sat in near silence for about ten minutes before their mutual fatigue
caught up with them.  After another fit of yawning, Ritsuko let her hands
drop.  "You should get some sleep, you can stay here again.  If you want, I
mean."

Maya made an affirmative noise in reply.

Rising, Ritsuko offered her hand again, pulling Maya up from the couch.
They stood close for a moment, Ritsuko's arms comfortably around the
smaller woman's waist.

"Goodnight, Maya."

"G'night, sempai."

Giving in to instinct, Ritsuko leaned forward and gently kissed Maya's
forehead.  A sleepy smile spread across Maya's face, and Ritsuko felt warm
inside.  Another new smile.  She wondered how many there were to find.
Stepping back, she turned towards her own bedroom.

Not bothering to strip, she crawled into bed.  As she drifted off to sleep,
she had the most nagging feeling that she'd forgotten something important.
But before she could remember, the long arms of slumber embraced her and
pulled her under.

				    ***

With his jacket slung over his shoulder, Ryouji Kaji wandered down the
street, whistling.  He'd just dropped off Hyuuga, after the two of them had
managed to get the completely smashed Aoba home himself.  He pitied the
hangover those two would have in the morning.

The night air felt fantastic, cool in his lungs, sharp on his face.  Just a
hint of damp, the precursor to some middle of the night shower.  Not a
single sound was to be heard, beyond his own footsteps.  The entire city
seemed to be holding it's breath.

Feh, that was one of the only problems with Tokyo-3.  It wasn't but an hour
after midnight and everything was shut down.  Some of the sidewalks were
even rolled up.  Literally.  He smirked at the thought.  

That, and you couldn't get a decent bratwurst anywhere.  One of the few
German foods he'd acquired a liking for during his time there.  Maybe he'd
ask Asuka.

So he walked.  And whistled.  And planned.

Glorious plans.  Everything would be perfect.  Just perfect.

				    ***

Ikari Gendou made plans of his own.  There didn't ever seem to be a point
where he stopped making them.  When he ran out of things to plan for, he
planned how to make his plans come true.  Or plans how to deal with plans
that failed.  Plans within plans that supported other plans.  A blossoming
fractal of intricate plans, each distinct, but all making a beautifully
complete whole.

The ultimate plan was one that came off with ideal perfection, each piece
interacting with every other, building an inescapable, unavoidable end.  It
was so rare though.  Plans of any magnitude usually depended on other
people.  And that was an element ever so hard to plan for.

He poured another glass of brandy, the amber liquid sloshing into the
glass.  Bringing it to his lips, he tasted the subtly complex bouquet
sliding over his tongue.

Another glass or two and the roar of planning in his head would quiet
enough for him to sleep a few hours.

				    ***

Slowly, Misato returned to the realm of the living.  It was dark and
distant thunder echoed in the room.  No, that was just the hangover
pounding her skull.  It was a sensation she had the misfortune to be
intimately familiar with.  Every heartbeat was a drum kick between her
temples.  

She rolled onto her back.  It was an unfamiliar ceiling.  Where was she?
Wracking her memory, she tried to remember.  Oh, right.  Ritsuko's
apartment.  She'd gotten drunk.  Again.

Still, something wasn't quite right.  Asides from the infernal throbbing
and cotton filled mouth.  She took stock.  Turning her head to the left,
she recognized the spare room of the apartment.  Ritsuko must have put her
to bed after she got drunk.  A wave of nostalgia hit her, it was just like
college all over again.

But that didn't explain the sense of not right she was getting.  Her
clothing was slightly twisted around her body, uncomfortably digging at her
crotch and shoulders.  That wasn't it either, though she dreaded the fact
that she'd almost certainly have to iron it.  Maybe she could convince
Shinji to do it for her.

She was warm, almost hot.  There were no blankets, but she was warm.  The
air in the room wasn't that warm, comfortably cool in fact.  That was
closer to the problem.

The glowing red digits of the alarm clock pulsed before her eyes, dancing
in the dimness.  3:27.  Late, but not too late.  No, not the problem
either.

Finally she identified it.  Another sensation she'd forgotten since her
college days.  Someone else was in the bed.  And she didn't know who.

Ever so slowly she turned her head the other way.  A million thoughts ran
through her mind as the ceiling processed across her field of vision.  Had
Ritsuko put her to bed and then followed her in?  To take advantage of her?
She beat the thought down.  Besides, she was still wearing her clothes,
right?  

Could it be some man?  That was something she'd done in college.  Every
time she swore it would be the last, but somehow it always happened again.
No.  Not a man, not in Ritsuko's apartment.

The answer flashed in her mind at nearly the same instant her eyes landed
on the sleeping face beside hers.  Maya.  Of course.

The brown haired girl was curled up on the futon beside her, arms hugged
tight across her chest, chin down.  The part of Misato that reacted to
puppies, kittens, and small children kicked in, full force.  She wanted to
reach out and stroke the sleeping woman's hair.  The aura of innocence was
nearly tangible.  

In a moment of blinding clarity, she realized why Ritsuko had nearly bitten
her head off when she asked if Maya was okay.  Ritsuko thought her question
was implying that she'd hurt Maya.  And then reacted like a mother wolf
whose cub was threatened.  Right now, Misato admitted, if anyone had done
the same to her, she'd act the same way.

Keeping her movements slow and sure, she sat up.  Her hangover had
dissipated as suddenly as it struck.  Sparing a glance down at Maya, she
wondered if she could bottle that.  Miracle Cuteness Cure, for the morning
after.  A fond smile touched her lips.

The sleeping girl was still clothed in her NERV uniform, which secretly
relieved some part of Misato.  The khaki suit was wrinked beyond what
sleeping in it could explain.  Grease stains on the cuffs and along the
collar were further evidence that Maya had been crawling around inside her
machines.  She must have gone to work and then come back here to crash.

Misato's brow furrowed.  Why had she gone in, anyways?  She was supposed to
be here helping Ritsuko get her head straightened out.  Or even-- she shut
the image down before it fully formed.  Kaji's words echoed in her head,
"What difference does it make?"  What difference did it make?  She had no
satisfactory answer to that.  It obviously made some difference to her.
But why?

With a soft noise, almost a whimper, Maya began to shift.  Absently, Misato
reached down with one hand, using her thumb to wipe a smudge from the
girl's soft cheek.  She turned into the touch, almost nuzzling Misato's
hand, then settled back down, difting off deeper.

Drawing her hand up before her face, Misato stared at it through the gloom.
The dirt was now a streak across the pad of her thumb.  Her index finger
worried it, spreading it around slightly, but not erasing it.  Nameless
dread filtered up from the depths of her soul.

She nearly leaped out of the bed, moving towards the door as fast as she
could in the dark.  One thought occupied her mind.  She had to get out.

				    ***

Credits:

Rod - For a challenge, a reason, a hangover, and no angels.
Sean - For WAFF and numerous (and sometimes useful) suggestions.
Brem - For breakfast and a hard day's work.
Thom - For future boredom.
Kergma and Scriv - For a bad case of hiccups.
Mike - For a nice dinner.
Alan - For chanting.
Lara - For some important editing.

This whole thing started with an image from the first scene in my mind and
was intended to be just another porn fiction, in the style of Kris
Overstreet's 'Bubblegum Pink' or Kanomi's 'Three Sisters' Tails'.  In the
end, as all my fics do, it got away from me.  It became something of a bad
Harlequin-esque romance.  Most of my prereaders seemed to like it better
that way.  Who am I to argue?

	-DaR
-- 
/* Dan Root   -   XTEA cipher */  static unsigned D=0x9E3779B9,l=0xC6EF3720,s;
/* t=64bit text, k=128bit key */  #define m(x,y) ((x<<4^x>>5)+(x^s)+k[s>>y&3])
void enc(int*t,int*k){for(s=0;s!=+l;){t[0]+=m(t[1],0);s+=D;t[1]+=m(t[0],11);}}
void dec(int*t,int*k){for(s=-l;s!=0;){t[1]-=m(t[0],11);s-=D;t[0]-=m(t[1],0);}}