Heh heh heh... it's been a while...  But it's longer than all the others, so 
that makes up for it, right?  Back episodes at 
http://www.unc.edu/~ellis/fanfics/lgs.html  --erin

				*

Let's Get Serious

a Rurouni Kenshin story

by Erin Ellis

Part Four: A Roosterhead is a Terrible Thing to Waste

     The room was silent for two beats, then three.  There was an
audible plop as partially-chewed rice fell to the table.  Moemi smiled
benignly.  Ayame and Suzume beamed back.  Kaoru and Sano sat
stonefaced.  Yahiko's eyebrows raised, lips in an 'o'.  Kenshin
blinked slowly, lips pursed.
     "So, Moemi-neesan and Ken-niisan are gonna get married?" Suzume
blinked cutely.
     "Married!" Ayame echoed.
     "No," Kenshin, Kaoru and Yahiko objected simultaneously.  Kaoru
noticed her voice was noticably more forceful than the others', and
reddened slightly.
     "Himemiya-dono, I'm afraid I can't consent to this," he said,
shaking his head.  "I don't believe I've ever met you before..."
     Moemi frowned.  "You don't remember?"
     Kenshin shook his head slowly, his thinking coming up blank.
"No..."
     "Are you *sure*?" she pleaded.
     "..."  He thought back harder...

				*

     The boy with the sword frowned, what little faith in human
kindness he held dropping by the minute.  He was cold, probably sick,
and--
     *GROWL*
     ...  He clutched his stomach, embarrassed.
     "Hey oniisan, you okay?"
     He turned to see a girl with looks that could only be described
as 'cute', offering him a rice ball.  She smiled and introduced
herself as he gobbled down the food.
     "I'm Himemiya Moemi."
     "Himura Kenshin," he said over a mouthful of rice.

				*

     "Oh."  Kenshin brightened somewhat.  "Saa... that was a long time
ago.  Thank you again for helping me back then.
     "She and her mother nursed me back to health when I was sick," he
explained for the benefit of the others.  "How's your mother doing?"
     "She's fine," Moemi's smile became a little strained.  "She's
eager to see you again, for you to fulfill your promise."
     "Oro?  Promise?" Kenshin repeated stupidly.

				*

     Kenshin knelt before the child.  "Yep, I'd better get going.
Thanks for all your help."  He gave an easy smile, trying to avert the
trembling lip of the girl facing him.
     "Are you going to come back?" Moemi asked, face serious.
     "I'll try."
     "That's not good enough.  Marry me?"
     "Maa..." the teen hedged, scratching his head.
     "Pleeese?"  She looked into his eyes and blinked a few times
cutely.
     "Uh..."  He'd never see her again... If it made her happy for
now, why not humor the kid?
     "Sure, whatever."  He sweatdropped as she grabbed him in a bear
hug.

				*

     "Promise," Kenshin remembered stupidly.
     "Shoulda known something like that'd come back to bite you in the
ass," Sano noted around a wide yawn.
     "Pretty precocious kid," Kaoru muttered.
     "He's got chicks he doesn't even remember..."  Yahiko shook his
head with admiration.  "Kenshin is *such* the man."
     Ignoring the three, Moemi spoke straight to her 'prince'.  "So,
Himura-sama... are you ready?  Come back with me, ne?"
     "M-maa..." the man hedged, scratching his head and looking
furtively around the table.  Kaoru turned away at his gaze.
     Moemi's eyes narrowed.  "Or... you aren't already..."  Her gaze
sat firmly on Kaoru.
     "Oh *NO*!  Of course not!" the pair said, arms raised in denial.
     "I'd never do such a thing," he laughed nervously.
     "Yes, and he's so *old*," Kaoru answered, somewhat pleased by his
slight wince.  He hadn't needed to be *that* assertive in his denial.
Did he really have feelings for this woman?  Had they really had a
relationship, fourteen years ago...
     Doing some quick math, and guesstimating some ages...
     Maybe Kaoru had a chance, after all.  It couldn't be a mutual
attraction, rather Moemi was just taking advantage of his considerate
nature.  'Sort of like you are,' she ignored her mind saying.  Closing
her eyes, she felt herself slouch against Sanosuke.  His breathing was
slow and even, and she tried to match her shallow breaths to his in an
attempt to gain control of herself.  Was she going to give up to this
old woman?  Were her weeks of building sexual tension going to pot for
some hussy Kenshin hadn't seen for fourteen years?  Hell no!  Kamiya
Kaoru didn't give up anything without a fight, especially when it did
her laundry!
     Kaoru clenched her fist and put a determined scowl on her face,
the smiling mug of Himemiya dancing inside her eyelids.  'You think
you've got a chance, old woman?  Wait and see, when this is over, the
one he gives his heart to'll be--'
     "K-kaoru-dono?" Kenshin called timidly.  "Are you feeling all
right?"
     "Hm?"  Kaoru snapped back to reality where she had become the
center of attention.
     "We thought maybe you'd eaten some of your cooking," Yahiko
smirked.
     "You looked ill," Kenshin interrupted, trying to avert an
argument.  "You slouched over on Sano, then started grimacing and
breathing irregularly..."
     Realizing she was still leaning on Sanosuke, she immediately
straightened up, then paused.  What would the best way to make Kenshin
realize he had all the woman he needed at home?  Her mind raced for a
split second, landing on jealousy.  Giving a funny smile, she leaned
casually back on Sano, and took his arm in hers.  "Nope, no problems
here!" she said brightly.  "Ne, Sano-chan?"
     The extended fit of coughing Kenshin broke into wasn't exactly
the intended outcome of that comment.  Sano, on the other hand, had
stayed oddly quiet, especially considering what was going on.
     "Uh.. Sano?"
     *SNORE*
     Kaoru sweatdropped.

				*

     Elsewhere, a mysterious figure plotted.  It had been a long time,
but Himura Kenshin must die.  Or at least feel a lot of pain.  The
figure smiled.  He would challenge Himura, defeat him, then...  Okay,
he wasn't sure quite what he'd do then.  Probably gloat and laugh
maniacally for a bit.  For now, he limited himself to an evil smile,
as last time they'd kicked him out of the inn for disturbing the other
guests.
     The figure pondered the items before him: a sheet of rice paper,
and a small dagger.  A message was needed to alert Himura to his
challenge.  A mysterious message.  Nicking his finger on the knife, he
waited as the blood welled into a sizable drop, then placed it on the
paper.
     'Himura Battousai.'
     The figure frowned.  What appeared on the paper was barely
legible-- more a large reddish smudge than chinese characters.
Writing in blood was difficult, he decided.  But if that was what was
necessary for the image...
     He put his finger to the paper again.
     And waited.
     And waited.
     And sweatdropped.  He'd forgotten what he wanted to say...

				*

     Sano frowned.  Okay, this was just wrong.
     For one, Kaoru kept calling him 'chan'.  It wasn't that he
particularly minded-- at least, no more than anything else going on;
he was really tired and could forgive lesser slights-- it was just so
*freaky*.  She was acting so *nice*, babbling on about how she enjoyed
his company and how they had plans to do stuff together and other
lies, but it was obviously acting, especially since she kept digging
her nails into his arm, annoyingly preventing him from both sleep and
food.
     It was quite possibly the longest and most boring meal he'd ever
had.  He could tell Yahiko felt similarly, as he squirmed in his
place.  The girls had run off to play in the yard, but it seemed the
boy didn't want to miss out on whatever dirt was going on, especially
the tension between Kaoru and Himemiya, who were glaring daggers at
each other.  'Why don't they just duke it out and be done with it,' he
wondered; at least then, he could go home.  Kenshin looked miserable
as the two politely sniped at each other.  Sometimes it was tough
being a chick magnet, Sano empathized.
     Barely stifling a yawn, he idly turned to his side.  Kaoru was
there.  Really close.
     'All right, enough of this,' he thought, standing up.  Kaoru gave
a surprised look as she rose into the air, still clamped onto his arm.
"Excuse us," he stated, walking into the kitchen.
     "..." the others commented.

				*

     Sano deposited the girl on the counter, then leaned against it,
arms folded.  "Why?"
     "Huh?" Kaoru asked, seemingly confused.
     "Why?  Why 'Sano-chan'?  Why're you so mad about that woman?  Why
so bent on making Kenshin jealous?"
     The girl flushed.  "J-jealous?  Whatever in the world would give
you that idea?"
     He raised an eyebrow.  Unfortunately, his 'holier-than-thou'
expression was undercut by the large yawn he broke into.
     Sighing, she drew her legs to her chest, arms encircling them.
"I... I'm not trying to be...  Do you really think if I wanted to make
Kenshin jealous I'd do it with *you*?"
     "Ha, ha.  The man choice could be much worse, but I don't think
your execution could've.  Come on, jou-chan.  *Yahiko* knew what you
were trying to do, and he probably could've done a better job."
     "Is that why you dragged me here?  To insult me?  'Cause if so,"
she cracked her knuckles, "I have some frustrations to work out."
     "No, no, calm down!  I'm gonna help you.  We all know you're
head-over-heels for Kenshin, right?"
     "Me?" she squeaked, looking slightly like a trapped animal.
"N-no way, I'm--"
     Sano continued, paying no attention to her protests.  "So I'll
hook you up with the tips on how to bag him.  I feel bad about
betraying Man-kind, but I'm gonna give you these secrets anyway."
     "Eh?  W-why?"
     "Because," he said, putting his arm around her shoulder, "we're
friends. If you aren't being yourself, I care.  I'm a caring and
sensitive guy."
     She gave him a totally disbelieving look.  "What's the real
reason?"
     "That *is* the real reason!  Think about it, jou-chan.  If this
Himemiya chick sticks around, there'll probably be more meals like
this, right?  Now, I can't eat if you've got my arm trapped in your
vice grip.  If it's help you or no breakfast, the answer is clear."
     She paused, then shook her head.  "You're too much, Sano."
     He grinned.  "That's what the ladies tell me."
     The pair started at the swinging sound of the door opening.  "Oh,
Kenshin," Sano said, hand still on Kaoru's shoulder.
     "We were wondering what had happened to you," Kenshin said in a
trying-to-be-casual voice.  Conspicously not looking at them, he set
his tray of dirty dishes on the counter.  He paused, resting heavily
on the tray, then turned again.  "So what's going on?"
     Kaoru looked furtively at Sano.  "We... were..."
     "Bonding!" Sano finished, pulling Kaoru close.  "When you're a
caring and sensitive guy like me, ya gotta do that sometimes.  Get it,
Kenshin?"  He gave the red-haired man a knowing wink.  'Do some
bonding with *this* one,' it said.
     "Oh... I see.  Pardon me."  He quietly left.
     Sano and Kaoru watched as the kitchen door swung back and forth
after him.
     "Hrm," Sano grunted, disappointed.  "Don't think he got it."
     She pounded him on the head.  "Baka."

				*

     Back in the dining room, Yahiko was expounding some point to
Moemi.
     "See, while Kenshin *is* the man, and all chicks dig him, there's
no way he could ever get married.  He's just too cool to settle down.
With only one woman, anyway," he qualified with a conspiratorial
wink.
     "So," he splayed his hands, "you see why even though you aren't
that bad looking, I can't welcome you with open arms.  Understand?"
     Moemi cocked her head and smiled.  "Strangely enough, I do.  No
one should ever *have* to settle down, I think."
     He gave an odd look.  "Then why are you making Kenshin get
married?"
     "He's pretty settled already, don't you think?"  She indicated
the table the man had cleared with no prompting a few minutes earlier.
     "True.  I don't understand all that washing stuff.  But Kenshin
could kick anyone's ass who complained about it, so I don't."
     "Yahiko," Kenshin said faintly.
     "Nan da--"  The boy jumped, not having heard his approach.
"Kenshin!  I wasn't--"
     "Please watch the girls," he said absently.  He left the boy as
he beckoned to Moemi over the muffled sounds of commotion in the
kitchen.
     "Himemiya-dono, let me escort you home."

				*

     "That certainly was an... interesting meal," Moemi noted, hands
clasped behind her back.
     Kenshin nodded, a troubled look on his face.  At her questioning
look, he snapped from his reverie.  "It usually isn't that crazy," he
finished lamely.
     Ususally didn't have that much Sano was more like it.  Sanosuke
was a great guy; he'd come to think of him as a brother or what have
you, but...  'Sano-chan'?  'Bonding'?  The look on Kaoru's face when
she'd noticed his entrance...  What could be going on between Sanosuke
and Kaoru?
     Kenshin felt his stomach begin to tighten, and it wasn't because
of Kaoru's cooking... not entirely, anyway.  Some sixth sense, the one
that had warned him so many times as the Hitokiri Battousai, the one
he'd felt this morning before being... encountered by Moemi, the one
that had increased drastically as he'd run into Kaoru and Sano in the
kitchen, was coming on strong now.  Something was going to happen,
presumably something unpleasant for all parties involved, especially
the one named
     "Himura-sama?  Himura-sama, we turn here."
     Kenshin blinked a few times, looking back to the intersection
Moemi indicated.  Trotting back to meet her, he changed the focus of
his brooding.
     This Himemiya had changed the status quo, and now the tenuous
relationship he and Kaoru had built up was melting like tissue paper.
The woman *did* seem to have a problem she wasn't telling him about,
but he wasn't about to run off to Hokkaido with her, whether she had
been nice to him as a kid or not.  He would tell her now, before it
got too complicated.
     "Himemiya-dono," he started.
     "Things here in the city certainly are different from back home,"
Moemi commented wistfully.  "There are so many people!"  Suddenly, she
was thrown off balance, stumbling a few steps into Kenshin's arms.
     "Gomen, ne!" the child culprit called, running back to his
mother.
     After giving the boy the appropriate disapproving look, she
realized she was still being held by Kenshin.  Clutching his arms for
balance, she looked into his eyes.  The violet pools quivered with
emotion, boring into her own, dialating and darting to the side...
     *THUNK*
     "Ite-!"
     "Himura-sama!"  The man in question fell to the ground like the
rock he'd been clocked upside the head with.  Moemi stooped down,
slapping Kenshin a few times.  "Himura-sama, wake up!"
     He groggily sat up, eyes swirly.  "Oro?"  Slowly, he picked the
rock out of the side of his head.  A note was tied to it.
     Moemi unfolded the paper.  "'Himura Battousai,'" she read for the
barely conscious man.  "Ick, it's written in blood!"  There was a
large red blotch, then the writing continued, this time in ink.
     "'Himura Battousai.  I have lived with your disgrace for too
long.  Meet me where the full moon shines on the scales.'  Eh?"  She
turned to Kenshin.  "What could this mean?"
     Another challenge.  Just what he needed to make the morning
complete.
     "Ororo..."

tbc.

				*

[Author's Notes]

- If it matters, Kenshin's trip to Hokkaido was part of a short training 
journey that Hiko sent him on one day.  Maybe Hiko had a hot date, I dunno.  
Doesn't really matter does it?

- And yeah, Kaoru will get to hit someone soon, okay!

[Next Time]

Sano's dating tips!  Moemi's quasi-date!  Kaoru's violence (finally)!  The 
mysterious figure's challenge!  Preparation for the town festival!  And 
Megumi?  At least some of these, in part 5- Battousai Booty Call! (Okay, 
that's not the real title, but it makes you wanna read it, no?)

Rurouni Kenshin � Nobuhiro Watsuki / Shueisha � Fuji-TV � Sony Pictures 
(Japan).

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MAX: Is that the icy pall of an evil presence I sense nearby?
  SAM: Shh!  It's the icy pall of the box of frozen ferret pops in my
        coat pocket. I was going to pay for it... honest!
        			   *
    www.unc.edu/~ellis � members.tripod.com/~tina97 � come.to/coup
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