On Tue, 13 Jul 1999, Freemage wrote:

--- Bogue <bogue@negia.net> wrote:

Of course, there would not be any actual modification of Ryouga's
behavior the next time he shows up.  That, too, would be consistency. 
Instead, he would need to be even more of a jerk (since it's clear that
he is the Designated Author-Hated Character [TM]--get one for your fic,
today!).

Ah, and if you should decide to do a crossover with another series for no
reason whatsoever, and use some of the villans, your DAHC should join
them.  Even though they're obviously lying to him about keeping him alive,
the DAHC should be too stupid to notice.

In selecting and protraying your DAPF, I offer the following
guidelines:

Append to any of Freemages suggestions:

The DAPF should be extremely reasonable, even so far as to try to talk
things out instead of hitting first.  Conversely, the other fiancees must
be mean and spiteful to the DAPF.

1> Never pick Akane--it's too easy to defend that choice by citing the
OS and interviews with Takahashi, after all.

I disagree with this.  Akane is an extremely good choice, if you're going
to write one of those fics where the protagonist has a private interview
with each person, and end it with them telling why they're the wrong
person for Ranma(Shampoo, you love me only because of your laws/Kodachi,
you're crazy/Ukyou, I never really liked Okonomiyaki, I just didn't want
to hurt your feelings), except for the DAPF. Akane is almost always used
when this is used. 

Oh, and if Akane is chosen, then she can consistantly grow more violent
and always mallet Ranma, until TS takes her aside, and says "ewe shodnt
malot rama."  Then, she sees the light, forsakes her ways, becomes a
nun...and still gets married to Ranma. 

3> When biasing your fic towards Shampoo, of course, you must portray
her as not merely cunning, but as a rocket-scientist.  Frequent and
gratuitous references to her "talent" are also a must.

Oh!  Concerning Shampoo, make sure that her Japanese speech problems are
cured, for absolutely no reason.  She should refer to herself as 'Shampoo'
in Chinese.  And use Aiya in every other sentence, no matter what the
conditions of use.

4> By renaming Nabiki to "Sakura", you're already off to a good start. 
You must now show that she not only single-handedly supports the
Tendo/Saotome clan with her schemes, but is also managing the largest
charity organization in Japan.

Oh, and she has been the leader of the Yakuza since she was three.  (What
do you mean, which group?  ALL of them, of course!)  Make sure she can
give her spouse the Bahamas as an anniversary gift.  Of course, TS will
merely add it to his preexisting vast international holdings, of course.

<snip>

7> Of course, by simple rules of absurdity, selecting as the DAPF any
one of the following is even better:  Nodoka, Cologne, any male
character, or some sort of combo-package.  Of course, the inherent
"rightness" of the perverse match-up should be immediately accepted
without complaint by everyone else, save for the DAHC, whose objections
will be silenced by his painful death at the hands of the SI.

Of course, you should have to choose between any of these.  You could
always have TS suggest a poly-marrage, have everyone involved exclaim
"Rye, watt a brillian idea!", and all characters become the best of
friends.  Even the DAHC can repent his/her evil ways, forsake violence,
become a nun, and still marry Ranma.

8> The existence of a DAPF should in no way prevent the male SI
character from banging female-Ranma seven ways from Sunday.

Or any/every other female, for that matter.

--Freemage
  Who really shouldn't do this, but it's so much FUN!

Yeah, Freemage.  Your comments were very...*ahemahem* Illuminating.

^_^

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...