Hm...  I don't really have a name for this fan-fic yet, but it's really 
funny!  Or at least, I hope it is...  You may also know it's kinda a 
different format than my other ones, because I wanted to write less 
descriptive sentences, and have people infer what's happening from the 
dialogue.  It's strange, ne?  But, the only way to excel as a writer is to 
try all things (i.e., attempt to write in 3rd position limited, 3rd person 
omniscient, 1st position central, etc., depending on the fan-fic.)

Celebrity Deathmatch is (c) MTV animation 
Slayers is (c) Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi / Kadokawa Shoten / TV Tokyo, 
SOFTX 


Celebrity Deathmatch

Johnny: Hello, I'm Johnny Gomez.
Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond!
Both: Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch!
Johnny: We've got a heck of a show for the audience tonight, right Nick?
Nick: That's right, Johnny!  This is the day where Celebrity Deathmatch goes 
international, bringing stars from another country together.
Johnny: Speaking of stars, it looks like one of tonight's contenders is 
arriving right now!  Can you see who it is, Nick?
Nick (with binoculars): Yup, it looks like she made it right on time.
Johnny: Who is it, Nick?
Nick: (whistles) she's a beautiful specimen of a woman, that's what she is!
Johnny: Nick, tell our viewers who our contender is!
Nick (slowly): Well, I--
Johnny: !#@$!#, Nick!
Nick: Keep your pants on, Johnny, I'm enjoying the view.
Johnny (snatching the binoculars): That's right, folks it's. . . (goes 
silent).
Nick: Hey, wipe that drool off from your mouth.  Folks, can you hear the 
crowd cheering?  It's all for Naga the White Serpent!  According to our 
sources, it seems Naga will be fighting Pamela Anderson Lee in what we 
affectionately call the "Bash of the Big-Breasted Bimbos"!
Johnny: (babbles).
Nick: (clears throat) Yes, well, anyway. . .  I've just been informed that 
Stacey Cornbread's in the dressing room with Naga and Pamela, let's see what 
the two have to say.
Stacey: That's right, Nick, I'm here with Naga, who calls herself Naga the 
White Serpent.  Now, Naga, tell us, why do you have a quarrel with Pamela?
Naga: (laughs) Well, I'll tell you, Stacey.  Do you think it was easy to grow 
these?  (breasts bounce as she talks).
Stacey (obviously disgusted): Uh, don't tell me it was because of...
Naga: (laughs) Hers are incredibly fake, which makes it even worse than 
Lina's flatchestedness!
Stacey: Who's Lina?
Naga: (laughs) No one of consequence!
Stacey: If you say so... (leaves hurriedly)
Pamela: Stacey!  Stacey!  There you are, aren't you going to interview me?
Stacey: (sighs) All right.  What's your complaint with Naga?
Pamela: It's not fair!
Stacey: Come again?
Pamela: I had to have these (gestures at breasts) implanted, when all she had 
to do was have the right genes!  It's not fair, I tell you!
Stacey: Uh, back to you, Nick and Johnny.
Johnny: It looks like Stacey's not happy with the way this fight is going.
Nick: Well, she probably thinks it's too petty an argument to be shown on TV 
for, but all the males in the audience are going crazy!
Johnny: Before we start, let's give our audience a synopsis of this evening's 
fights.
Nick: Right, Johnny.  First off is Naga the White Serpent against Pamela 
"Don't call me babe" Anderson Lee in the Bash of the Big-Breasted Bimbos.
Johnny: Second on tonight's list is an exciting match complete with swordplay 
as Gourry Gabriev and Cloud Strife face off for the title of Wielder of the 
Biggest, Baddest, and Best Sword.
Nick: And last is our secret match between two voice actresses, or rather, a 
seiyuu and a voice actress.
Johnny: Nick, they're the exact same thing.
Nick: Ah, ah, ah, Johnny, one's Japanese.
Johnny: So?
Nick: Oh, ye of little brain.
Johnny: Shut up!
Nick: Too bad you flunked your foreign language class, eh Johnny?
Johnny: Now, Nick...
Nick: I've got a copy of your report card right here!  English: C.  Math: D.  
Art: C.  Broadcasting: A.  And last but not least, Japanese: F.
Crowd: (laughs).
Johnny: Rot in hell, Nick.
Nick: Look, Johnny, they're about to start.  There's referee and judge Mills 
Lane readying our contenders.
Lane: I want a good, clean fight, you two.  Let's get it on!
Naga: (laughs) As if such a woman could take down Naga, Naga the Serpent!
Pamela: Die, b**ch!
Johnny: Oo!  It looks like hot-headed Pamela has lost her temper and has 
already gotten her hands around Naga's neck!
Nick: I'd like to get my hands on Naga's--
Johnny (covering Nick's mike): Not into the microphone, Nick.
Nick: Wow!  It looks like Naga's not even turning blue from the lack of air.
Johnny (amazed): That's right!
Nick: It must be from all that laughing!  She's used to taking in great gasps 
of air and releasing it slowly, so her lungs must not be feeling a thing.
Johnny: Uh-oh, Pamela's becoming even more violent!  She's pounding Naga's 
stomach with one fist and keeping her other one tightly around Naga's throat.
Nick: How will Naga get out of this one?
Johnny: I don't know, Nick, Pamela's definitely got the advantage!
Nick: Look at that!
Johnny: Naga's drawn her sword!  Amazing!  Even with that girl clamped on her 
neck, she has the sense to use her weapon!
Pamela: (screams).
Nick: That's one big scratch Naga gave her!
Naga: (takes a deep breath & laughs).
Lane: I'll allow weapons!
Naga: You're pathetic!  Come, taste the wrath of Naga, Naga the Serpent! 
(laughs)
Johnny: Uh-oh, Pamela's backing up, obviously planning something.  Judge 
Mills Lane has given his 'OK' for weapons, does she have something up her 
sleeve?
Nick: She's pulled out a gun!
(Audience screams, some in joy & some in fear).
Johnny: It must be one of the many she collected for use in filming Barb Wire.
Pamela: You can't fight a gun with your medieval crap!
Naga: What's a 'gun'?
Nick: Oh, no!  She shot at Naga's sword!
Johnny: It bent the sword in half!  Naga's weaponless now!
Naga: (screams once, twice, three times).
Nick: Pamela's merciless!  She's shot Naga thrice now!
Johnny: 'Thrice'?
Nick: You got a C in English, remember?
Johnny: (glares).
Nick: Look at that!  Naga's flinging her useless sword at Pamela!
Johnny: Pamela's ducking!  It missed her!
Nick: I wonder if Pamela's ever heard of a boomerang?
Johnny: The sword's coming back!  It's circling around!
Nick: Pamela's aiming at Naga!  If that sword doesn't reach her in time, 
Naga's through!
(Pamela slowly pulls the trigger back).
Johnny: She's going to fire right at Naga!
Pamela (growls): Don't call me 'pathetic.'
Nick (covering eyes): I can't bear to see!  It's the end for the White 
Serpent!
(A scream is heard).
Nick: What happened, Johnny?
Johnny: Naga's sword has taken out Pamela's firing arm!  There's no way she 
can aim a gun with her weak hand!
Naga: Say hello to Joyrock for me.
Pamela: Who the hell is Joyrock?
Naga: FREEZE ARROW!
Nick: Holy $%^@#$@!  Naga's using magic!
Johnny: Pamela's frozen in a block of ice!  But is that all Naga's going to 
do to her?
Naga: EXPLOSION ARRAY!
(Bits and pieces of Pamela go flying).
Nick: (pukes).
Johnny: (chuckles) You've got a weak stomach there, Diamond.
Nick (wiping his mouth) You owe me ten bucks, Gomez.
Johnny: Touch�.
Nick: We'll be right back with more Celebrity Deathmatch!
(Cuts to commercial).

Hehehehe...  So what do you think?  I don't like Naga, but I dislike Pam Lee 
even more than I dislike Naga, so she lost.  However, Naga did come out with 
a few mortal wounds so >=D   (evil smiley)

~Princess Hinomura Runa of the House of Jurai Royal Family
Oujosama to Oyobi!  Call me Princess!
(LunaHNeko@aol.com & Luna_Hinomura@planetjurai.com).

Ok, maybe just "Luna" will do...  ^_^