My apologies for the wait. Enjoy!

******************************************

The Accidental Goddess

A Ranma 1/2 - Aa! Megami-sama FanFiction
By
D.F. Roeder

Previous chapters may be found at:
  http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder

Based on the story idea, "New Life 1/2", by G. E. Jordan, Jr., and
used with his kind permission. Thanks for your ongoing interest in
this project.

     ----- Acknowledgments -----
Prereading kudos go to The Eternal Lost Lurker, T.H. Tiger, and
Vince Seifert. Thanks, guys, for your help, suggestions, and
criticisms. Cheers!

Special thanks and deep bows to Vince Seifert for our ongoing
discussions and his expertise in matters manga, Japanese language
and culture, the art of fiction, general good sense, and other
innumerable areas. My work would be far poorer without him.

Thanks also to Vince for keeping my head clear as to what this
story's about. Arigatou gozaimasu!!!

Special thanks to T.H. Tiger for his valuable suggestions for
future scenes and plot direction.

     ----- Disclaimers -----
Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the property of Takahashi
Rumiko, Shogagukan, and Kitty (Japan), and Viz Communications
(USA). Aa! Megami-sama and the characters therein are the property
of Fujishima Kosuke (Japan) and Dark Horse Comics and Studio
Proteus (USA). No compensation has been or will be received for
the composition of this work - it is for free entertainment
purposes only.

C&C very welcome. Respond to FFML or privately to
dfroeder@flash.net.

<thoughts>

____________________

Chapter 3 - Family Glue
____________________


A slight morning mist diffused the light of the sun as it peeked
over the Nerima skyline and fell upon the black iron gates of the
Kunou estate. The air was still, and birds tittered and chatted
among the trees and bushes artfully landscaped around the
entrance. Squirrels congregated in a clearing and chased each
other around, practicing for more serious pursuits in the seasons
to come. Much of the estate grounds was forested, and a dizzying
array of wildlife had found refuge there from the naked and
hostile environs of the Greater Tokyo Metropolitan Area.

The joyful noises of life suddenly halted, flocks of birds erupted
from the trees, and earthbound creatures ran to their burrows and
other hiding places. The welcomed warmth of the sun waned, and its
rosy light paled to a cadaverous grey. One could easily imagine
the plants visibly drooping their leaves in the dank heaviness of
the air.

The iron gates began to rattle in their stanchions as a wind
picked up, but the motion confined itself to passing through the
iron bars, coming from nowhere and going nowhere. The velocity
increased, and the path of the gale bent around and back through
the latticework, creating a small cyclone. The wind's strength
continued to build, and debris and leaf litter were picked up and
added to the yellow and dark gray smoke that had begun to color
the growing maelstrom.

The gyrating and turbulent sphere of darkling smoke and wind moved
away from the fence and positioned itself just inside the gates.
Its intensity increased momentarily before exploding outward in
streaks of yellow and dark gray interspersed with dead and dying
leaves and twigs.

In the fury's place, a woman stood. She tossed her curly
dark-blonde hair off of her shoulders with the backs of both hands
and surveyed her surroundings. Satisfied, she laughed softly to
herself in a rough and husky voice. A large hand mirror appeared
in her hand, conjured forth to check the set of her clothing and
to survey any damage to her appearance caused by her violent mode
of travel.

Happy that the larger portion of her face and hair had escaped
unscathed, she examined her apparel. The green silk blouse still
hung well from her shoulders, and she pulled some hair from inside
the collar, straightening the collar as she did so. She smoothed
down her tight, gray leather mini and bent around to check the
fitting around her rump -- she wanted that to be very
*noticeable*.

She primped her hair one final time before dispelling the mirror,
and Mara, Class I Demon, cocked her hands on her hips and smiled a
feral smile, teeth flashing in the grey light. She looked up the
paved entrance to the mansion.

"Well, sword-boy, I hope you're ready for Mara-sama. Ha. Haha.
BWAAAAA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!"

Mara paused as she considered the best approach. Should she go up
and ring the bell, or should she sneak in and surprise him? To a
demon, it was a foregone conclusion. Spying a way into the
surrounding woods, she padded down the path and disappeared into
the still foliage.

The relative dark of the grove appealed to Mara, and in the fog of
her good mood, she failed to see the thin wire stretched across
the path until it dragged her right foot to a stop.

*THWIP! THWIP-THWIP!*

"ITE!!" Mara quickly looked down to see three darts sticking out
of her leg. She yanked them out and studied them intently. They
were hollow and, more importantly, empty. She unhooked her foot
from the wire, wiggled it, shrugged, and threw the darts away. A
human would've been either completely paralyzed or unconscious at
this point; Mara, however, went to take a step and fell flat on
her face. Swearing and struggling to a standing position on her
left leg, she attempted to put her right foot forward and found
the leg attached to the foot useless.

"Grrr! What the Devil's going on, here?!" Mara collected herself
and began a low chant in a coarse and guttural language. Yellowish
green energy coalesced around her right leg and seeped into it.
Mara stopped chanting and put her weight on the leg. It held. She
gingerly continued down the path, concentrating on the leg lest
the spell's work be incomplete.

With the leg as distraction and cursing the while, Mara approached
a second wire. A large tree branch had been pulled back and set to
release when the tripwire was stretched and dislodge a retaining
pin. Fortunately, Mara was far enough to one side of the path when
she tripped the second wire that only the brushy end of the branch
caught her in the small of her back when it whipped her from
behind, tossing her 5 meters further down the trail.

Mara groaned as she rolled over, and her eyes opened to reveal
pupils constricted down to points. She rubbed her face with her
dirty hands and waited for the world to stop rushing in and out.
When her mind and stomach had settled sufficiently, she slowly sat
up and eyed the offending booby-trapped limb. Tiny red veins began
to spread out into the white of her eyes, and a large vessel began
to pulse to one side of her forehead.

"Stupid plant!! I'll show you what it is to mess with a Class I
Demon!!"

Twin stars of black power appeared in her hands, and with a mighty
yell, she bathed the branch in searing power. The tree limb burned
black for about 20 seconds before falling off its host tree. Mara
opened her mouth, intending to let loose an evil cackle, when a
shaft of light from a break in the canopy caught and flashed on a
second vertical wire attached to the limb. With her mouth still
open, Mara grimly considered the perpetrator of these crimes
against demonkind. <What kind of sick bastard double wires a booby
tra-->

*THUD!*

Her heart in her throat, Mara ground her head around slowly to see
the source of the sound. Her mind could not at first register what
she was seeing. It was a bulgy ovoid that looked a little like the
Michelin Man's volleyball. It had cracked from the drop, and it
now fell apart, allowing Mara to puzzle over it for about a second
more before an angry yellow- and black-striped cloud erupted from
the broken nest.

"EEP!!!" Had Mara not been so rattled, she probably would've
simply called her wind up and vanished. As it was, she ran, the
mass of hornets hot on her mini-skirted tail.

The path she was on opened onto a verdant manicured lawn
surrounding a fenced-in pond. <Water!> she thought. <I can dive in
and escape!> She blurred across the lawn, hurdled the low metal
fence, took a deep breath, and dove into the somewhat scummy
water.

The hornets formed a dense cloud over the pond, searching for the
enemy. They tried to attack a pair of widely set eyes that were
resting on the surface, but the owner closed them and submerged,
foiling the insects need for a target. They found another, as the
rarely seen yardman emerged from a different stand of trees and
began to walk across the lawn. He saw the angry horde, yelled, and
took off for parts unknown. The hornets disappeared into the trees
after him.

Mara broke the surface with a gasp and began cursing a blue
streak; the morning had not gone according to plan... at all. She
looked in disgust at the state of her clothing. <Well, just have
to conjure up another set.> She sighed and was beginning to wade
toward the bank when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.
She whirled around to face the gently smiling jaws of an enormous
alligator.

Mara screamed and started thrashing for the shore. "WAAA!!
WAAA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!!" Before she made it, she felt the alligator's
lower jaw brush her side as it attempted to catch her in its
mouth. Finally, Mara remembered who she was in the split second
before the alligator's teeth found purchase on her body, and she
disappeared in a boiling mass of sulfurous smoke. The alligator's
jaws slammed shut with a sound disturbingly reminiscent of a
Cadillac door, and he swallowed, a swatch of green silk going down
with the yellow smoke. The beast floated there for a moment before
submerging so that, again, only its eyes were above water.

Midorigame, beloved pet of one Kunou Kodachi, hovered in his fluid
element and considered this new flavor. His horizontally-slitted,
mahogany-colored eyes blinked several times as they changed color
to a jaundiced yellow. He rose out of the water a little, opened
his jaws, and belched out a yellow cloud.

Turning around, Midorigame made for his little basking beach,
hoping the increasing warmth of the morning sun would drive away
his indigestion. As he crawled onto the bank, one alligator
thought bounced around in his little alligator mind.

<Bleah.>

----------

In her underworld quarters, Demon Class I Mara slammed down her
third whisky neat. <Tomorrow... yeah, that's it! I'll go see him
tomorrow.> She shakily reached out for the bottle to pour herself
a fourth.

____________________


*WHAM!* *THUMP!*

"You call that *trainin'*, Pops?!" a resonant and slightly husky
female voice called.

"Boy! Show your father some respect!" An older man, apparently the
girl's father, managed to free his face from the ground.

"EARN some, Oyaji!" A red and black blur danced around the yard.

"Why, you, I'll have you know I--" *CLANG* "URK!!" *SPLASH* A
severely dented washtub fell to the ground.

"What was that you're sayin', Pan-- AAAAH!!" *SPLASH* "What didja
do THAT for?! Oyaji no baka! NYAH! Don't do any good right now,
does--" *THUMP!* "...ite..."


In the guest room of the Tendou home, a white-haired woman cracked
her eyes open and muttered, "What the... Don't they ever give it a
rest? Yelling, shouting..." Urd, Norn and Goddess of the Past,
humphed and rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head. She
drifted back into a half-doze, and her thoughts ran freely through
the events of the previous evening.

Urd smiled slightly at the recollection of a distressed Saotome
Ranma being glomped and smooched by her former iinazuke, Tendou
Akane. <Poor Akane. Didn't know what hit her.> And then Belldandy
and Akane's sister, Kasumi, had returned from a late-night market
with fresh coffee... and a tag-along named Kunou Tatewaki.

The Kunou boy had only just laid eyes on the tableau of Akane and
his "pig-tailed goddess" apparently making out, with everyone
watching, when Akane had burst out of the clinch, leaving Ranma's
nude female form open to momentary scrutiny. As Kunou's nose began
to leak blood, Akane, glowing blue from a jealous rage, had booted
Kunou into a high arc over Nerima Ward.

Further, Akane's rage had seemed to have exorcised kami-Ranma's
little shot of "love me" juice, and Akane had stood there for
several moments, a distant expression gradually settling on her
face. With her eyes and thoughts turned inward, Akane had slowly
made her way up the stairs and into her room; she didn't come back
down for what remained of the evening.

Urd frowned slightly under the blanket. She had a soft spot for
problem love affairs, and the solution to this one was going to be
a doozy. Both kids were almost completely insecure in their
feelings, but both had shown what they *really* felt when the
barriers came down. <I'm worried about Akane, though. She didn't--

*CRAAAAACK-- BOOM!*

Urd sat up, the last vestige of sleep shaken from her mind. <What
the... That sounded awfully familiar.> The window in the guestroom
opened onto blue sky, so, uneasy, she willed her blue goddess robe
on and left. After making her way to the backyard, she saw a
charred and smoking Genma and Ranma lying about three meters
apart. Midway between them, a sparkling message plaque was etched
into the soil. <Oh, boy... I guess I should've expected this
sooner or later.> Urd stepped up and began to silently read the
missive from on high.


Kasumi had kept an eye on the morning combatants, a habit she'd
acquired soon after the arrival of the Saotomes. Holding a fresh
cup of coffee, she walked over to the effluvial and wheezing
Ranma. She propped Ranma's head up and poured some of the liquid
into the redhead's mouth. Ranma sputtered but took the cup and
eagerly gulped down the remaining contents. Kasumi had served the
beverage at the exact temperature so as not to burn but still give
off a rich aroma. Ranma put the cup down and burped. She almost
immediately seemed more alert to Kasumi's eyes.

"Aaah... Thanks, Kasumi! You're the best!"

Kasumi blushed slightly and said, with a sparkle in her eye,
"Well, we certainly wouldn't want the Tendou family to be on the
bad side of the kami. Ne, Ranma-sama?"

Ranma gave her a wry smirk. "Thanks loads, my *child*."

Kasumi laughed and relieved Ranma of the empty cup. "Any time, oh
heavenly one." Continuing to lightly laugh at their banter, Kasumi
strolled back into the house to continue with the preparation of
breakfast, and Ranma couldn't help but smile at the eldest Tendou
daughter's humor. She gasped, then relaxed. <Why didn't Kasumi get
some of what Akane had? Maybe I didn't have any left or somethin'.
But if that's the case, Akane shouldn't of gotten zapped either.>
*SIGH* <All this is makin' my head hurt.> Ranma then spied Urd
studying ground zero of that strange lightning strike, so she
pulled herself up and walked over, sparing the still unconscious
Genma a redeye and a wagging tongue.

"What's up, Sensei?" Ranma asked, dusting off her familiar red
Chinese shirt and black drawstring pants.

Urd looked at her askance. "Sensei, is it?"

"Sure. Trainin' me is your job, ne?"

Urd let the hint of a smile turn up one corner of her mouth.
"Hmmm. Sensei. I could get used to that."

Ranma just shrugged and pointed down, Urd's eyes following the
gesture. "So what's this?" Ranma asked.

"A message from Kamisama." Urd looked up to see Ranma several
yards away and staring wildly at the plaque. "Relax, Ranma. It's
just writing in the dirt. The only fireworks were the ones that
toasted you and the panda-man." Ranma still radiated reluctance.

"Yeah, maybe! But it's from, from Kamisama!" Ranma began to shift
around, looking in all directions. "Awww, Man! This kinda stuff
always gets me into trouble!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Happens to *me* all the time. Now, come
over here, and I'll read what it says! It *does* concern *you*!"
Urd tapped her foot while glaring at her protege. Still wary,
Ranma walked back and edged into her previous position next to
Urd, who snorted and turned back to the message.

"Right! 'To Urd, Goddess Second Class, blah, blah, blah. Yourself
and Class I Surface-World Trainee Saotome... Ranma?" Urd looked at
Ranma, and Ranma shrugged. "Errr... Saotome Ranma are commanded to
our presence at 4:00 PM, your time. So sayeth Kamisama.'"

Ranma looked up at Urd in wonder... and a little fear. "Does this
mean what I think it does?" she asked shakily. Urd watched the
message dissolve back to plain soil and turned to Ranma with a
strange and discomforting smile.

"It's the 'Big Ride', Kiddo. Only difference for you is you'll be
coming back. So what do you think?"

The only thing Ranma could come up with in reply was, "4:00 PM...
They have clocks in *Heaven*?!"

Urd face-faulted. "...ite."

----------

A figure slid back down the outside of the wall surrounding the
Tendou compound, scraping his hands a little on the stones' rough
surface.

"Itetete..."

Crouching, he blew on his hands to cool the burn. Looking both
ways down the narrow alley, he muttered to himself. "Damn
goddesses, hovering around all the time. I'll never get the prize
at this rate."

Retsujouki climbed to his feet and walked down the passage,
strolling nonchalantly into the mix of pedestrians on the
sidewalk. He kept his hands jammed into his pockets, not to hide
the scrapes but to keep the tremors from being visible. Something
about this new goddess was getting to him.

<What fire! What beauty! What spirit!! Oh, how sweet her nectar
must be!> His trembling momentarily increased.

<I need a plan.> However, nothing immediately occurred to him, not
with the Norns on guard. On his fourteenth circuit of the block,
Resujouki's frustration finally got the better of him, and he
recklessly scaled the wall behind the dojo. <I've got to get into
those panties!!>

----------

"HA-HA-HAAACHOOOOOUIEEEE!!!" A shrunken old man wiped his nose on
his sleeve.

"Come BACK here you little VERMIN!!" The call was echoed by a
large number of female voices, few resembling anything human. The
little man took off, a large and very full cloth sack bouncing
around on his back.

"WOO-HOOOO!!! HAAAAHAHAHAAAA!!! Pretty LADIES!!! Well... some of
you, anyway, but I still cherish you all!! HOTCHAAAAA!!!"

A seemingly harmless little girl, standing out of the way, let out
a bestial roar that shook the surrounding rock when she discovered
that the little gnome, who had pleasantly groped her small
breasts, had made off with her underwear... while she was still
wearing them... underneath her outer clothes. To be groped was one
thing, and enjoyable, but THEFT?!?!

The little girl joined the flying, running, and slithering horde
as it chased a giddy Master Happousai across the reaches of
Niflheim.

----------

As she did on many mornings, Saotome Nodoka busied herself with
helping Kasumi prepare the mountain of food that represented a
typical breakfast for the extended household. Of course, there
were now herself and Ranma's new mentor to feed, as well. Nodoka
didn't mind at all. She relished the rediscovered need her family
had for her, a need that had vanished during the long, long
training trip Genma had taken her son on. If she'd known the sheer
pain and loneliness that would result, she would never have agreed
to anything Genma came up with in those days.

Nodoka smiled at Kasumi and Ranma sharing a joke after her son,
er, daughter finished her coffee. Nodoka shook her head. <Poor
Ranma. I've never seen anyone attract so much trouble and
strangeness.> Nodoka returned to stirring the miso as Kasumi,
still chuckling, walked back into the kitchen.

"How is she?" Nodoka asked.

"She's... Ranma. Tough and strong."

Nodoka smiled at the soup in front of her. "Yes, she *has* done
well, hasn't she?" Her smile faded away, replaced by a little
sadness as her shoulders drooped fractionally. In response, Kasumi
spoke with concern.

"Oba-sama? What's the matter?" Kasumi rested a hand on Nodoka's
shoulder.

"I... I've missed so much of Ranma's life. Even you or Nabiki are
closer to him, er, her than I think I'll ever be. And now it's too
late, I fear. She's going where I can't follow." Nodoka gave her
friend a weak smile. "Don't let the grousing of an old woman
bother you. I'm just happy to be with them, again." She quietly
returned to her stirring.

Kasumi frowned. <*Old* woman, my fanny.> She quietly determined to
somehow turn Ranma's situation into a way to shorten the distance
between mother and child.

The rumble of an approaching motorcycle and the sound of it
stopping in front of the compound interrupted everyone's thoughts.
Urd stepped into the house. <Good. Bell's here.>

----------

Morisato Keiichi pulled his old motorcycle to the curb in front of
the home Belldandy indicated. Belldandy rode in the sidecar,
having given a constant stream of directions to him on the way.
Keiichi just shook his head and thanked... well, someone that he
hadn't gotten them lost. He moved around to the sidecar and helped
Belldandy to her feet. He spared a second or two to admire how
stylish she looked in her riding cloak and hat.

"Arigatou, Keiichi-san," Belldandy said warmly. Keiichi, who
couldn't control it, blushed.

"Ah. Haha. It was nothing." With a silly grin on his face, he
scratched the back of his head. Belldandy gently poked him in the
ribs.

"I'm going to have to break you of that embarrassment one of these
days, you know."

"Heh, yeeeah. I know."

Feeling a sudden urge, Belldandy moved up and brushed her lips
lightly against his. She moved back, leaving an even more
flustered Keiichi staring. He was turning ruby-red... but enjoying
it. A round of clapping from the gate intruded into the moment.

"Woooo! Go, girl!" Urd hooted. "Now, if we could just get that to
move a little farther along--"

"Oneesan! We're already public enough, thank you very much!"

With a broad smirk, Urd bowed in mock apology and opened the gate
further, allowing them to enter. Kasumi was waiting on the walk to
properly greet the new arrivals.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Belldandy-san." Kasumi rose from her bow and
smiled at Keiichi. "I don't believe we've been introduced."

"Ohayou, Kasumi-san. This is Morisato Keiichi, my, erm,
boyfriend," Belldandy said as she gently pushed Keiichi forward.
Keiichi and Kasumi bowed to each other.

"Welcome to our home," Kasumi said.

"I am honored," Keiichi replied. <Gee, what nice people,> he
thought.

*crack* *CRACK* *SMASH!!*

A man burst through the wall next to the entryway to the house,
which happened to be open, destroying the sliding door as well. An
angry vision of redheaded loveliness stood in the opening, glowing
and glaring daggers at the man groaning on the ground. Her red
Chinese shirt and drawstring pants dissolved, and a more
form-fitting version of her goddess robes settled around her,
resembling nothing more than a fancy bodysuit. She wasn't even
aware of it.

"Can't I have *nothin'* my own?!" Ranma yelled. "You don't even
LIKE coffee, but there you are, stealin' my cup! ARGH!!" She leapt
out of the hole and at the man. The man had managed to gain his
feet, and the two fighters went at it, tooth and nail.

"EVERYTHING is training, lazy boy! NO! Lazy GIRL!!" Kicks lashed
out, defenses were probed, and the battle raged around to the back
of the house. Curious and a little stunned, the irregular
onlookers followed.

Once in the backyard proper, Ranma finally managed to sweep
Genma's feet and, in a defiance of gravity common for a Saotome,
tossed her father into the koi pond. To Keiichi's lasting
amazement and the goddesses' secret delight, a gigantic panda rose
from the water, a koi caught and flopping in the arm of the bear's
gi. The fish fell out of the clothing when the bear pawed a large
amount of water out of the pond and onto Ranma. As Ranma stood
there, the water began to rise as steam from her body.

"I'm going to see THE Almighty, today, and YOU have to GET ME
WET!! And whattya mean, lazy 'girl'? O-YA-JI NOOO BAAA-KAAAAAA!!!"
Ranma leapt at Panda-chan, gearing up her chestnut-trained speed
fists for some serious damage. Panda-chan grabbed the mangled tub
from their earlier sparring and managed to get the bottom of it
facing out in time to defend against Ranma's blurred punches. A
very loud metallic buzz followed by a single *CLANG!* rang through
the yard. Ranma leapt back and looked at her hands.

"You... you... you made me skin my knuckles," she whispered, which
became a shout. "HE'll think I'm some stupid TOMBOY or somethin'.
That's IT, old fart! The kid gloves are off!" Ranma brought her
hands together and chuckled evilly. A sphere of superheated air,
caressed by golden mana, formed in front of her. "Moko Takabisha
renamed, heh, Panda Burner!"

Panda-chan's eyes opened to dinner-plate size. "Oh, crap--" he
signed just as he was engulfed in a scorching ball of pain.

When the last tendrils of energy dissipated and the smoke cleared,
a solid black shape stood in the pond, swirls for eyes. The shape
fell back and floated belly up in the water.

Urd had been laughing since the fight started, and she was now
rolling on the grass, beating the turf with one fist and howling.
Belldandy and Keiichi stood there blinking. Ranma lazily sauntered
up and cocked her hands on her shapely hips. "Ranma one, pandas
nothin'," she declared. Urd barked another series of laughs and
then managed to sit up and wipe the tears from her eyes. A small
grin had also cracked Belldandy's and Keiichi's faces.

"Don't worry about Pops," Ranma said to Belldandy. "He's a real,
er, jerk, most of the time, but he's lots tougher than what I just
tickled him with." Ranma nodded at Keiichi then turned to Urd with
a smirk. "Havin' fun, Sensei?" Urd could only manage a nod in
return, laughter still threatening to burst out.

Ranma's face abruptly fell, and she slumped to the ground in a
sitting position, legs crossed. "Pops was right about one thing,
though. I *am* a girl." She sighed and put her head in her hands.

Belldandy put a hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Being a girl isn't so
bad," she soothed.

"Sure, unless you were born a *guy*." Ranma looked up at Bell.
"Sheesh! I don't even care anymore if I spend half my time as a
girl. I've kinda gotten used to it, after all I've been through.
Heh, it's even handy sometimes." Thoughts of Ryouga's discomfiture
flitted through her mind, but her face turned grim, again. "I hope
it doesn't take *too* long to learn that spell." Ranma stared at
the ground while Belldandy rubbed her shoulders and tried to think
of a helpful reply.

"You were a guy?!" Keiichi blurted. Ranma nodded without looking
up.

"No way! I mean, you're so... so..."

"'So' what?" Ranma asked in a dangerous tone of voice, which
Keiichi failed to recognize.

"Well... so KAWAII!"

"Grrrr!" Ranma tensed up, but Belldandy was on her feet first.

"HAHA! Why don't we go in and I'll introduce you to the others?"
She hooked her arm through Keiichi's and half-dragged the confused
young man around the corner.

Ranma sighed. "Gomen, Urd-sensei. He didn't say nothin' a hundred
others haven't already said... and a hundred times more've
thought, probably."

Urd studied the depressed martial-artist-turned-kami. She noticed
that at the moment, Ranma reminded her of herself, sometimes,
especially when sympathy was the last thing she wanted. <When all
else fails...> she thought. Urd sidled over next to Ranma and
pushed her with her shoulder.

"You *are* a rather cute girl, gorgeous even. Sexy doesn't even
begin to describe you." She pointed at Ranma's breasts. "Those are
REALLY nice, although maybe not as nice as mine," Urd smirked.

"HEY!" Ranma sat up straight and unconsciously thrust her chest
out a little. Urd mimicked her, and they had a ten-second bust
battle. Urd broke the competition with another comment.

"You have a really nice ass, too, when you're not sitting on it."

"Grrr!" Ranma felt like giving her a good smack, but she didn't
hit girls, so she settled for putting her fists and glaring. It
didn't have the expected result.

"Oooo! Like to play rough, do ya?" Urd leaned forward on her
hands, the front of her robes falling down and giving Ranma more
of a view than she bargained for.

"AAACK!" Ranma put up warding gestures, but Urd just leaned in and
whispered throatily in her ear.

"Just remember one very important thing, Ranma-chan." The warmth
and moisture entering her ear made Ranma shiver in a
not-so-unpleasant fashion. "NEVER underestimate the power that
body of yours can have over men AND women. I certainly don't." Urd
leaned back, giving Ranma a smoky look.

"Ano... women, too? Even when I'm a girl?" Ranma asked weakly.
Something in Urd's eyes was simultaneously making her nervous and
turning her insides into warm pudding, proving Urd's point.

"If you weren't so in love with Akane-chan, I might... well, you
get the idea." Urd could barely keeping from giggling as she
turned up the heat of her gaze. Ranma was the bird before the
snake.

"Yeah..." Ranma said, mesmerized. "If I didn't love Akane, I...
WHAT?!?!" Ranma's hands flew to her mouth as she realized what
she'd just said. "I DON'T LOVE THAT UNCUTE--"

"Uh-uh-unnn." Urd wagged her finger in her student's face. "You
can't lie to Urd-sensei, especially about stuff like that.
Besides, I saw all I needed to see last night."

"GAH! I don't remember doin' anything like THAT! I didn't do
nothin', did I?!" Ranma was fast approaching meltdown, trying to
remember anything *she* had done. She could only remember Akane
being all over her, not the other way around!

Unnoticed by either, a second-story window overlooking the side
yard soundlessly slid shut.

Urd got to her feet, laughing lightly. She left Ranma and walked
around to the front entrance of the house, her laughter increasing
until, "OOOO-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOO!" Everyone cringed.

----------

On the grounds of a wealthy estate, a young woman with her hair
tied in a ponytail to one side was tending rows upon rows of black
roses inside a large greenhouse. Without warning, she sneezed.

"Ara?" <What? I'm not allergic to... Ah ha! Ranma-sama must be
thinking of me!> "Oh, Darling Ranma! Your Kodachi is thinking of
you, too! OOOO-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOO!!" For no *apparent* reason, Kunou
Kodachi began bounding around the greenhouse, black rose petals
rising in a storm.

----------

Back at the Tendou compound, Ranma was still sitting on the
ground, trying to fill the hole in her memory of the previous
evening.

"Ha-ha-haaaa-chooooo!!" She rubbed her nose against her sleeve.

"Ara? Why am I thinking of Kodachi, all of a sudden?"

----------

After being dragged into the house by Belldandy, Keiichi was
summarily presented to the rest of the Tendou and Saotome family.
He was greeted nicely by Nodoka and with polite indifference from
Nabiki, Genma-panda, his fur still smoking, and Soun. Keiichi
noted with some amusement that, even as a panda, Saotome-san
reminded him of Tamiya-senpai, somewhat, and Tendou-san of
Ootaki-senpai. He settled down at the table with Nabiki and the
two men, while Belldandy wandered into the kitchen to visit with
Kasumi and Nodoka.

Genma abruptly held a blackened sign in front of Keiichi's face.
"So, son. Do any martial arts?" The question also piqued Soun's
interest.

Keiichi looked back and forth between the panda and the man, both
of them radiating physical confidence. "Uhhh..." he began weakly.

Nabiki rolled her eyes and wondered what Ranma was doing.

----------

Urd returned to the house just in time to be coaxed into helping
serve breakfast. Urd opened her mouth to complain, but a little
extra flint in Belldandy's already grey eyes persuaded her
otherwise. "Yeah, fine. Sure," Urd muttered. Belldandy beamed at
her sister.

With extra hands, the meal was ready in record time. Genma had
cleaned his panda form and was limbering up the digits of his paws
for the thrice-daily unrestricted food training with his daughter,
but Nodoka's glare changed his mind; it was a supreme effort, but
he managed. Ranma, still inwardly searching, walked in and took in
the spread.

"WAAA! Look at all the food!" She enthusiastically plopped down in
her usual spot next to Akane, except there was no Akane. Ranma
looked up at her mother, but Nodoka only shook her head.

Ranma thought about it for a second and then rose to her feet.
With determination she climbed the stairs and knocked on Akane's
door. When it became apparent that no answer was coming, Ranma
opened the door, incidentally shattering the lock, and strode in.
The people waiting downstairs heard a brief argument rise and fall
and a couple of *thumps*. Shortly, sporting two lumps on her head,
a serious Ranma plodded down the stairs with a rumpled Akane in
tow.

The regulars simply ignored it while the guests politely said
nothing as Ranma guided Akane to her place. "Ya need ta eat,
Akane, even if ya don't want ta be around me, right now." They
took their places, and Ranma looked around at everyone.

"Well?! Itadikimas!!" she barked. The table was crowded as
everyone quickly took a place. Urd sat next to her student and
eyed the lumps on Ranma's head.

"That looks painful," Urd commented. "You want I should--"

"Naw, I'm used to it." Ranma looked at Akane out of the corner of
her eye.

Akane didn't rise to the bait and continued to quietly eat. That
worried Ranma even more, so for once, she decided to start the
table conversation.

"So, sensei. What's Heaven like? What're we gonna be doin' there?"
Several eaters did a spit take.

"Heaven?!" "What..." "When..."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that. Urd-sensei and me hafta go see
Kamisama today." Ranma shivered a little. "And we gotta do some
other stuff, too."

Nodoka was wringing her napkin into shreads. "You *are* coming
back... RIGHT?!"

Ranma smirked. "Sure, mom. Don't worry. Besides, I don't think
Heaven's ready for the kinda trouble that follows me around. Ne?"

Akane managed a weak snort, and Ranma was heartened by the sound.
She forged ahead.

"Anyway, what's the plan?" Ranma asked Urd.

Urd slurped some miso and chewed the rice already in her mouth for
a couple of seconds. "Wmgblg..." She swallowed. "Gomen. I want to
stop by my, er, place to pick up a few things--"

"Oh! What's your place like?" Kasumi interrupted.

Urd thought for a second. "Um..."

"It's very Urd," Belldandy said and smirked.

Urd made a face at her sister. "I'll have you know my boudoir is
very stylish."

Belldandy just hummed noncommittally and continued eating.

"Well, it IS!" Urd pouted at her food.

Keiichi chuckled. "Is it anything like how she decorated *my*
room, that one time?" he asked.

"Worse," Belldandy said.

"Biiii-daaaa!" Urd wagged her tongue at Keiichi and showed the
inside of her eyelid.

"Sensei," Ranma prodded, "about the trip?"

"Oh, right. Let's see. My place, and we also need to go by the
Asgard armory."

"Armory?" Soun asked. Panda-chan's ears twitched.

"Yah. It's the repository for weapons and all sorts of martial
stuff. I don't really know what all's in there, but I'm good
friends with the Arms Keeper. She's an old Valkyrie drinking buddy
of mine."

<Martial stuff?> Panda-chan thought, as his mind began an all too
familiar slide down a logical slippery slope. <Martial ARTS
stuff?! SCROLLS?!?!> His ears were now thrumming, his mouth opened
in a rictus, teeth showing, and his eyes glazed over, thinking of
all the marvelous things that could find their way into a pocket
or two.

"So why are we going *there*?" Ranma asked.

<Stupid BOY!> Panda-chan thought. <Why else?! SCROLLS!!!> He
grunted in exasperation.

Ranma narrowed her eyes. Something about Genma's behavior seemed
veeery familiar, but Urd interrupted the examination of her
suspicions.

"You *do* have a katana to pick out, remember?" Urd said.

Nodoka popped upright at her place. "Oh! That sounds like so
much... fun..." Her words had trailed off, and she returned to
half-heartedly eating, her head slightly down. Ranma looked at her
strangely and then at Urd. Urd drew a blank and just shrugged.
Kasumi, however, had light bulbs going off in her head. She smiled
to herself and started making plans.

"Anyway," Urd continued, "after that, we'll see Kamisama."

Ranma paled a little and turned back to his food... to find half
of it gone. "Oyaji!"

"Ranma! Dearest! We have guests. Behave, the both of you." Nodoka
gave her daughter a look and glared at her husband, and both
settled down. Ranma, tongue out to the side, helped herself to
more from the mountain of victuals. The remainder of the meal was
pleasant, people mostly keeping to their own thoughts, good or
bad.


Soun sat back with a contented sigh. "Ladies, you have outdone
yourselves. That was a magnificent breakfast." The mountain had
been reduced to a plain.

Murmurs of agreement and a growf echoed around the table as
everyone got up to go about their business. Ranma watched sadly
from the hall as Akane shuffled back up to her room. Urd had
stayed seated, however, hoping to avoid helping with the cleanup.
Sipping her tea and lost in thought, she jumped a little when
Kasumi touched her on the arm.

"Can I speak with you and Ranma for a second... privately?" Kasumi
softly asked. Urd nodded, and the three of them walked out to the
dojo.

Kasumi allowed the other two to precede her into the training
hall, and she turned and slid the shoji shut. Composing herself
and schooling her features, she turned back to the inquisitive
faces of the other two.

"I... I'm a little concerned about your mother, Ranma," she began.
Kasumi dithered for a moment, appearing to be unsure of her words.

"Nothin's wrong, is it?" Ranma asked with a slight edge of worry.

"No, no. Nothing like what you're thinking, I expect. It's her
mood. She's feeling, er, left out of things."

Ranma was confused; feelings were not her strongest point. "Huh?
She's here, ain't she?" Urd kept silent.

"Yes, and that does count, but considering that
Saotome-no-ojiisama had you for ten years, she's feeling a little
like a stranger. I was wondering if you could think of anyway to
include her in your, ah, training, as it were."

Ranma looked at Urd, but Urd put her hands in the air, palms up.
"I don't know how," she said. "She's mortal. It's a little out of
her area, if you get me." Ranma nodded slowly, but she then turned
back to Kasumi with a knowing smirk.

"Why do I have the feelin' ya already got somethin' in mind?"
Ranma felt vindicated when Kasumi allowed that oft hidden glint of
intelligence to shine in her eyes.

"Well, I was thinking. What is it that you and your mother have in
common, now? Hmmm?" Kasumi kept her eyes locked with Ranma's.

Ranma scratched her head and felt really stupid. Kasumi helped her
along. "What did she get excited about yesterday and at breakfast
this morning?"

Ranma snapped her fingers. "The katana!"

Kasumi nodded happily. "Maybe you should ask her to go along when
you pick one out," she suggested.

Before Kasumi had finished her sentence, Ranma had hold of Urd,
pleading blue eyes staring into green. "Oh, please, sensei! Can
she go along? Can she?"

Urd's heart sank. "Uh, look. It just isn't done. She's mortal, and
that's the kami plane. I don't know..."

"Gah! Please, please, please? Oh, pretty-pleeease?" Ranma's
kawaii-act was on full burn. "Can't ya do somethin'? That's my
momma we're talkin' about." Ranma shook Urd's robe lightly.

Urd rolled her eyes. "All right, look. I'll make a call, but I
can't promise anything. Better count on a 'no'."

"Thanks, sensei!" Ranma grew even more kawaii, her pupils
expanding to engulf the whites of her eyes.

Urd shuddered. "Yeah, yeah! Gimme a minute." Urd walked out of the
dojo, trying to hide a smile.

----------

Panda-chan crept away from the outside wall of the dojo and went
in search of hot water, visions of heavenly secret scrolls and
just plain old heavenly secrets dancing in his head.

He stopped short when he spied a strange man crawling over the
stone compound wall. Using an unrestricted concealment technique,
he made himself part of the scenery - insofar as a black and white
panda could, that is.

In the process of crossing over, the stranger was hanging by a
hand and a foot when he lost his hold on the top of the wall and
fell on his head.

"ITAIII!!" he yelled, then slapped his hands over his mouth. After
several moments of not seeing anyone running to investigate and,
incidentally, completely missing Genma, he stumbled to his feet.
Sniffing, he smoothed down and dusted out his clothes. Pulling an
expensive-looking comb from his jacket pocket, he carefully pulled
his hair back, arranging it just so.

His appearance now satisfactory, under the circumstances, he
abruptly fell into a crouch and sneaked across to the dojo wall.
He crept along the wall and was almost to the corner, when--

*WHAP!*

"AAAHH!" Retsujouki backed up to see a huge panda standing there,
holding the sign he'd just gotten hit over the head with. "What
the HELL?!"

The Lord of Lust boggled when the panda held up the sign, which
read, "Who are you and what are you doing?"

Unsettled to begin with and now discovered to boot, he rattled out
a little too much. "UH! AH! REDHEAD! PANTIES!! NECTAR!!"

Panda-chan narrowed his eyes and flipped the sign around. "Already
got rid of one lecher." Flip. "Don't need another."

*WHAP!* *WHAP-WHAP!!*

Retsujouki, Lord Demon of Lust, fell to the ground unconscious,
lumps for horns. Panda-chan picked his victim up and held him out
at arm's length, positioning him just so.

*BOOT!!*

He watched the 'pervert' disappear into the sky with a twinkle.
<Ah, yes! Hot water and... and SCROLLS!!!> Grinning teeth and ears
again vibrating, Panda-chan resumed his quest.


Retsujouki regained consciousness just in time to see the ground
rushing up to meet him.

"Oh, no--"

*SPLAT!*

----------

Kasumi returned to the kitchen to keep Nodoka occupied, and Ranma
followed Urd to the phone in the hallway. She boggled as Urd
dialed and dialed, the number long beyond any hope of remembering.
Finally finishing, Urd waited.

"Ah! Moshi, moshi!"

"Main Switchboard. How can I help you?" said the person on the
other end of the line.

"This is Urd, Goddess, Class II, Cate--"

"URD!! You useless fop! What are YOU calling for? Make another
mess of things?"

"Who IS this?!"

"What's a matter, Urd-chan? Forgotten the dulcet tones of my voice
already?"

"Wait a minute... PEORTH?!?!"

"Got it in one, brain."

"Oh, just great," Urd mumbled.

"How was that again, Urd-chan?"

"Quit calling me *Urd-chan*!"

"Whatever you say, Urdie."

"Grrr!"

On the sidelines of this conversation, Ranma bigsweated. Things
did not seem to be going in a positive direction.

"What did you want, anyway?"

"Errr, well..."

"Spit it out, Urd-chan." Urd could easily visualize Peorth's
smirk.

Urd huffed. "I'm training a new goddess, and I want to make an
official request on her behalf."

"Mmmm? They actually let *you* train a goddess? OH-HO-HO-HOOOOO!!"

Urd's knuckles whitened as she held the receiver in a death grip,
but she forced herself to calm down. A sudden thought occurred to
her.

"Peorth, what are you doing on the switchboard? Class I's don't
man phones."

Urd thought she heard a cricket chirping on the other end of the
line. Eventually, Peorth answered in an emotionless voice.

"None of your business, Urd. I can do whatever I--"

"You got into trouble again, didn't you?"

Silence.

"That's it! Your doing time on *menial* stuff!!
OH-HO-HO-HOOOOO!!!"

"SHUT UP, URD! YOU JUST SHUT UP!! I'm terminating this call--"

"WAIT!!!" Urd yelled.

"Why should I?"

"About the new goddess' request..."

"Why should I do *you* any favors. It's not like you'd ever return
them," Peorth sniffed.

"It's not for *me*, idiot."

The sound of grinding teeth came through the handset clearly.
Peorth sighed. "What's the request and who's the goddess?" she
said as if disinterested.

"Um, Kamisama's called me and her to a meeting this afternoon, and
she wants to bring her mother along."

"Kamisama only sees who he's requested. You know that!"

"It's not to *see* Kamisama! She just wants her mother to go
along!"

"Oh. So what? I don't see any problem with..."

"The mother's mortal."

Another period of silence... then self-satisfied laughter.

"It's not allowed, Urd-chan. *snicker* You shouldn't even be
aaask-iiing," Peorth sang.

An angry blue aura sprang up around Urd, and Ranma backed up a
couple of steps. Urd spoke into the phone through clenched teeth.

"Look, you. She's the mother of the new Class *One* Goddess of
Sex. How often does mortal ascension occur, huh? The rules didn't
take something like this into acco--"

"Okay."

Urd was rocked by the reply and blink-blinked. "Okay?" Pause.
"Just like that?"

"No. Not just like that. This will cost her some favors to cut
through the red tape. Not from YOU, by the Kami, but from the new
one. Put her on the phone."

Urd looked at the receiver, looked at Ranma, and then handed the
phone to her. Ranma sweated bullets for a second and then
tentatively put the phone to her ear.

"Mesheee--" *COUGH, COUGH* "Uh, moshi moshi?"

"Are you the new goddess?"

"Ha-hai."

"What's your name, child?"

"Saotome Ranma." Ranma heard the sound of keys clacking in the
background.

"Hmmm, I don't have you. I have a Saotome 'Ranko', though."

"Er, that's me."

"Eh?"

"It's a mistake."

"Well... whatever. You'll have to talk to the higher-ups about
that. Now, I can fix it so that you can bring your mother, but it
*will* cost you some favors. One to me and to each person up the
line. Understand?"

"Favors like what?"

"It's not polite to ask."

"Oh."

"Do you understand and agree?"

Ranma bigsweated. "Yeah, I guess so. At least *I'm* making the
promises this time."

"Eh? Never mind. Then it's agreed. Put Urd back on the phone."
Ranma handed the receiver back to her sensei.

"Urd? She's agreed to the promises, but I imagine you have a
problem with it."

"No, but I do have a stipulation."

"What?" Peorth asked, surprised.

"No calling in the favors until *I* say her training's finished.
Deal?"

Peorth considered that for a moment, but she found nothing she
could reasonably object to. "You're getting smart in your golden
years, Urd-chan. Deal!"

Urd huffed and slammed the phone down in the cradle. "Well, that's
that! I hope you know what you're getting into, Ranma-chan."

"Uh... no?"

Urd slapped her forehead. "Of course, you don't. This is only your
second day of divinity." She led Ranma into the tearoom and sat
her down.

"Okay, one very important thing you need to understand about the
kami plane is that a lot of what gets done there is handled
through reciprocal obligation. It greases a lot of wheels, if you
follow me." Urd's eyebrows went up. "Actually, it's not that
different from how things run in Japan. It's just on a bigger
*and* magical scale. It may be a thousand years before the last of
the promises you made today gets fulfilled, but fulfill it you
must. You really can't operate as a goddess very well without the
support of your fellow kami. Understand?"

Ranma, eyes big and mouth slightly open, nodded her head
vigorously.

Satisfied that Ranma understood, Urd sat back and considered her
student. The look of honest respect for her in Ranma's eyes and
demeanor was the last thing Urd had expected... from anyone...
ever. And it felt good, which surprised her not a little.

Another surprise was how she was feeling about the responsibility
that had been placed on her. Before, she had always chafed under
such moral weights, but this time, she felt like really taking
care of this new person in her life, not just screwing around and
having fun. Well, she still intended to have fun, but not at
Ranma's current or future expense.

Urd lowered her voice and said gently, "About your obligations to
other kami. Don't make the same mistakes I'm still paying for,
okay?"

Ranma nodded solemnly. "I swear!"

Urd smiled and batted her on the arm. "Now, go! You've got
something to talk to your mom about, ne?"

----------

Nodoka, Kasumi, and Belldandy had combined their efforts and were
making quick work of the breakfast cleanup. Nodoka was washing up
the last deposit of dishes in the sink when Ranma walked in.

"Momma? Can we talk a little bit?"

"Of course, Ranma-chan." Instead of wincing, Ranma just sighed at
the suffix. "Just let me finish--"

Kasumi took the rag and dish out of Nodoka's hands and gently
pushed her towards Ranma. "I'll finish up."

Nodoka smiled gratefully. "Arigatou, Kasumi-chan." Nodoka dried
her hands, and she and Ranma exited the kitchen. Urd walked in
after they'd left.

Kasumi looked at Urd. "So?"

"Well, we managed to swing it, but it's going to cost Ranma some
favors to the kami who handle this sort of thing."

"What sort of thing, Oneesan?" Belldandy successfully kept her
suspicions out of the tone of her voice.

"Ranma wants to take her mother along on our little trip."

Belldandy's eyes widen fractionally. "And you got approval?"

"Sorta..." Urd hedged.

"Oneesan..." Belldandy said warningly.

Urd put her hands up to ward her sister off. "Hey, hey! Ranma's
just getting an early start on kami politics, that's all. Peorth
demanded favors for every one in the chain of command, and--"

"Peorth?! Oh, dear."

"Yeah, she was working off some punishment on the switchboard, I'm
guessing. She was as thorny as ever, but I made her agree to wait
until *I* said Ranma's training was finished." Urd stood very
straight and her eyes shone.

"Why, Oneesan. That showed good presence of mind... and
responsibility. I'm impressed!"

Urd deflated a little and grimaced. "Don't make a big deal of it,
Bell. Sheesh--" Urd's eyes widened as found herself the recipient
of a warm hug from her sister. Belldandy pulled back, smiling
mischievously and eyes sparkling.

"We'll make a Class I goddess out of you yet, Oneesan."

A brilliant red blush covered Urd's face. "Say," she evaded,
"could you give Skuld a call? Since we're taking a mortal, I need
to build a transport gate, and Ranma should get some experience in
her travel medium. Skuld can help with that."

"Of course, and when I'm done, I'll give you a hand."

"Kasumi?" Urd asked. "Is it okay to use the dojo? I need a big
space and relative quiet."

Kasumi laughed. "Yes, you can, but I can't guarantee the quiet.
Not around here."

----------

Ranma led his mother up to the room she shared with her father.
She unrolled her futon, and both of them knelt and sat on their
shins. Nodoka laid her katana at her side, having retrieved it on
the way. Ranma remembered her saying many times how naked she felt
without it. It gave the Saotome goddess an idea about how to start
this conversation.

Ranma held out her hand. "Can I see it, Momma?"

Nodoka blinked and handed the sheathed sword to her daughter.
Ranma brought it up to her eyes and studied the fine workmanship
of the scabbard and the hilt, paying particular attention to the
family crest. She drew the blade a few centimeters out of the
scabbard and marveled at the regal shine of the polished metal.
Still gazing at the blade, she spoke.

"Kasumi says you're feelin' like a fifth wheel." Pause. "Why's
that?"

Nodoka turned her head to the side and tugged at her kimono.
"That's not true at all, Ranma," she said softly.

Ranma looked up and watched her for a second before chuckling.
"And I thought *I* was a bad liar. I see where I get it from."

Nodoka smiled in spite of herself and turned back to Ranma.
"What's this all about, dear?"

Ranma sighed and sheathed the sword with a click. She laid it down
in front of her and raised her eyes to her mother. Upon further
thought, she reached back down and ran her fingers along the
scabbard to the hilt and back, watching the caress of her own
hand.

"Do you like katanas?" Ranma asked, in a serious tone.

Nodoka frowned. "What kind of question is that?" An ugly thought
occurred to her. She gasped and said, "Ranma! You still don't
think I would--"

"GAH! No, no. Ya got me all wrong. It's just a question. 'Do you
like katanas?'"

Still frowning, Nodoka said, "Well... it's not as simple as that."
Ranma looked back up at her mother. "It's a family heirloom. It's
my duty. It's part of my--"

"--honor. Yah, I knew that already. It's just... You were so happy
when ya found out I was gettin' my own katana. How come?"

Nodoka fidgeted, not answering.

"Momma... tell me?" Ranma gently prodded.

Nodoka sat there for several heartbeats, not moving. She finally
sighed and lowered her head. "I... I just thought... I'd *hoped*
that maybe you and I would... finally have something in common." A
couple of tears coursed down her cheek. "Something... I could
share with... my only child!" Nodoka choked and a couple of sobs
escaped. Ranma was holding her in a flash.

Nodoka buried her face in Ranma's bosom and tried to regain
control of her emotions. Ranma held her, but she found herself
distracted by the strange 'rightness' of cradling someone like
this and the sensations it carried with it. She shook her head,
and Nodoka looked up because of the motion.

Ranma searched her mother's face for a moment and then smiled.
"Have I got a surprise for you," she whispered.

"What?" Nodoka whispered back.

Ranma leaned her forehead against her mother's, amazed at how
vulnerable Nodoka was at this moment and amazed at her own calm,
gentle, and caring behavior. She made a mental note to ask her
sensei if this had something to do with her transformation.
Clearing that thought out, she smiled wider, showing a little
teeth, and whispered back even more softly, "You're gonna come
along and help me pick one out."

Nodoka blink-blinked, too stunned to speak at first, but then:
*SHRIEEEEEK!!!*

Ranma suddenly found herself being tossed around like a rag doll
as her mother pogoed around the room, her arms wrapped tightly
around Ranma's waist from behind. Ranma bore it in good grace, but
she was becoming uncomfortable from her breasts rhythmically
bouncing up and down; it was starting to hurt.

Ranma was abruptly released, and she spun around to see that
Nodoka had crumpled to the floor again, openly crying. She
gathered her mother up in her arms and was surprised to be able to
feel, like a tangible force, waves of relief emanating from the
sobbing woman; she could feel the lessening of an old pain.

The door to the bedroom slammed back into its recessed pocket, and
the Tendous stuck their heads in the door. Genma was nowhere to be
found.

"Is... everything all right, Ranma-chan?" Kasumi asked.

Ranma looked at her with shining eyes. "Yes, Kasumi. Just fine."
Ranma laid her cheek against Nodoka's head. "Even perfect, maybe,"
she said softly.

Kasumi noticed a little moisture gathering in the corner of
Ranma's eyes, as well. She nodded, satisfied with how things had
turned out, and left for her kitchen, a handkerchief occasionally
obscuring her sight.

The remaining Tendous stood there, scratching their heads.


Nabiki came to herself and snapped a photo, although she wasn't
sure where she would market it; warm and fuzzy was not her forte.
<Maybe it's time to branch out.> Things were changing, and she
wasn't sure how much longer she could milk the current situation
at Furinkan. She didn't even know if Ranma would continue
attending.

She took in the scene of mother and daughter before her. It was
very sweet, but... A familiar smile settled on her face, and the
lines in her face relaxed. <If that silly gaijin woman can make a
fortune stuffing babies in flowerpots... There's a market for this
*somewhere*!> She snapped a couple more photos for good measure.

____________________


Cologne surveyed the four walls and ceiling of her kingdom away
from home and felt cramped. She blew air out of her nose.
<Three-thousand years of glorious Amazon history, and I'm running
a restaurant in another country. Where in all of this did I go
wrong...>

She watched her great-granddaughter bus tables, effortlessly
balancing a large tub full of dirty ramen bowls on one hand over
her head. Shampoo placed the last of the dirty dishes in the tub
and sashayed back to the kitchen.

"Mousse! Where you at?" she yelled.

Cologne closed her eyes as she heard the tub get knocked from
Shampoo's grip.

"Oh, Shampoo!! You CALLED for me!!"

Cologne winced at the tinkling of porcelain shards skittering
across the floor.

"I LOVE you, Shampoo!!!"

A dull thud reached the matriarch's ears. She accurately assumed
Shampoo had pulled a bonbori out of nowhere and had clonked her
would-be paramour on the head.

"Stupid Mousse!! Look what Mousse do! Ramen bowl cost many yuan!
ARGH! *Yen*!! Many, many *yen*!! Stupid Mousse!"

*CLONK! CLONK!* Mousse groaned.

"Stupid Mousse clean up now!"

Shampoo exited the kitchen in a huff and flopped down on a stool
next to her grandmother. She put her face in her hands and, after
several moments, spoke tiredly from between her palms.

"Shampoo hate restaurant, hate Japan... Miss village... Want
airen. Take and go home."

Cologne reached out and stroked the young woman's luxuriant
lavender hair.

"Want go home."

"I know, child, I know. I feel the same."

Shampoo slowly straightened and smiled at her ancient relative,
putting her show of weakness behind her. "Hiba-chan feel, er,
strangeness in air, still? Strange magic, you say?"

The Joketsuzoku Elder frowned and looked at the door. "Yes, it's
still there. Or the echoes of it, I should say. It's not entirely
unfamiliar, but your mother was only barely born when last I
encountered something similar."

Shampoo considered her great-grandmother's words, and then a smirk
crossed her face. "Shampoo guess where. Always trouble find airen,
ne?"

Cologne chuckled. "Yes, yes. That seems to be the general
direction I'm sensing. By the Ancestors, the poor boy must be
marked by the kami."

"Airen strong. No lose, no matter what."

"Then child," she gently swatted Shampoo on the rump with her
staff, "leave us depart and see what trouble has found Son-in-Law,
this time! Maybe we can help."

Shampoo brightened at the prospect of seeing her beloved, and she
ran upstairs, did a swift clothing change, dabbed a little flower
water in the appropriate places, and bounced downstairs in a
freshly laundered Chinese pantsuit. Cologne gave her the once-over
and nodded.

"Mousse!" Cologne called. After a few seconds, Mousse stuck his
head out of the kitchen. Three conspicuous lumps shaped the crown
of his long black hair.

"What, Old Mummy?!"

Cologne blurred from sight.

*SMACK!* A fourth lump, courtesy of Cologne's gnarled staff, began
its slow rise.

"Be respectful of your elders, boy! Shampoo and I are going out
for a while. Get the restaurant ready for the lunch rush. Go on!
No slacking or there'll be hell to pay when I return!"

Grumbling and guessing the destination of their 'outing', Mousse
yanked his head back, and the sound of angrily clanking pots and
pans issued from the kitchen.

Snorting, Cologne hopped on her staff to the front door, Shampoo
following respectfully behind.

____________________


"How's it coming, Urd?"

"Eh?" Urd looked up from her work on the dojo floor to see that
Belldandy and Keiichi had entered. Keiichi closed the shoji doors
behind him. "Oh... fine, fine. Someone's smiling down on me. Got
lucky and found a couple of buckets of powdered grey stone behind
the partition over there for the primary circle and satellite
circle matrices. I wonder what they do with that stuff, here?"

Belldandy shrugged and knelt next to her sister. Keiichi settled
down against the wall to watch.

"Chalk, please."

Urd reached into her robe and pulled out a thick, new piece,
handing it to Belldandy. The scratch of chalk against wood echoed
in the large room as they scribbled, beginning the final set of
program runes for a Midgard-Asgard transport gate.

----------

Ranma stood outside Akane's room and stared at the duck-shaped
nameplate on the door. Nodoka had asked for a few moments to
freshen up after her outburst, and Ranma had started to head for
the dojo, but the sight of Akane's closed door stopped her.

Ranma stepped up to the door, the floorboards creaking a little
under her weight, and raised her hand to knock. She held it there
for several seconds, but eventually lowered it, unused. She sighed
and put her chin on her chest. After a few moments, she shuffled
down the squeaking stairs and out to the dojo.

The door behind the wooden duck swelled out slightly from a weight
pressing against the other side.

----------

The dojo was still quiet as Urd, Belldandy, and now Skuld were
busy marking runes. Ranma strode in.

"Wow!"

Three goddesses jumped, and Urd and Skuld glared. "This is very
*delicate* work, you know!" Skuld snapped at Ranma.

"Gomen ne. Why are you here? Not that I mind or anything," Ranma
carefully added.

Skuld sniffed. "Urd and your Mom are going to travel by gate. You
and I are going by water."

"Huh?"

"You need to experience travel in your transport medium," Urd cut
in, still working. "It'll help for when you try it on your own.
You'll be coming and going through the pond."

"Um..."

Urd let out an exasperated sigh. "Water's your medium,
*remember*?"

"Oh, yeah. Do I need an umbrella?"

The goddesses and Keiichi blinked. "What for?" Urd asked.

Ranma tsked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well, to keep from gettin' wet, of course!"

The elder goddesses caught their balances and prevented a
face-fault, and Keiichi just tipped over. Skuld was not so lucky;
she landed face first in a complicated symbol she'd just finished
drawing. She pulled up with a stricken look.

"Nuhnuhnuhunuhnuhnuh!!" she hammered, clenching her fists. She
spun around and pointed. "OUT!!!"

"...!"

"OUT-OUT-OUT!!!"

"Fine. I know when *I'm* not wanted!" Ranma put her nose in the
air and stalked out of the dojo.

Once she was gone, Skuld let out a breath. "Are you sure about
her, Oneesan?"

Urd smiled, her green eyes flashing and looking into space.
"Ooooh, yeah. I'm sure."

Skuld was not comforted by that answer or by the manic grin on her
sister's face.

----------

"Dear? Why aren't you with the others?" Nodoka asked.

"*I* was just in the way." Ranma looked suitably put out, staring
out the open shoji at the koi pond. Nodoka hid her smile and knelt
down next to her.

"I'm sure that they just need a little quiet to finish whatever it
is that they're doing," Nodoka soothed.

Ranma turned to her mother and started. Nodoka was the model of
traditional Japanese attire. She wore an intricately embroidered
monochrome ivory kimono, made of fine silk. Thin flowering tree
limbs reached artfully across the fabric, and tiny butterflies
were flying from branch to branch, a few resting here and there.
The flowers, limbs, and butterflies were the same color as the
base cloth, but they were given life by the changing angles of the
nap of the embroidery. Nodoka's hair was gathered up in back in
the traditional fashion, a finely crafted hair ornament arcing out
to the side. She wore minimal makeup, but it was skillfully
applied to accent her natural beauty.

"Momma!" Ranma stared.

"Do you like it, Ranma-chan?"

Ranma forgot to flinch at the honorific. "You're beautiful..."

Nodoka leaned over and pecked her daughter on the cheek. "Thank
you. I believe I might now pass muster." Nodoka tilted her head
with a bemused expression.

Ranma looked down at her goddess robes and felt plain. "Yeah, I
think that oughta do it."

"You guys ready?" Urd said, her head peeking around the open back
door. She briefly looked Nodoka over. "Nice," Urd commented.

Nodoka inclined her head in thanks, and she and Ranma stood and
followed Urd back into the dojo.

----------

<Baka-baka-baka-baka-baka-BA-A-KA!! Doesn't he even KNOW what he's
DONE?!> Akane buried her face in a damp pillow and cried. <I don't
even know if what I felt was real or not!> She lay like that for
several minutes, the crying dying down to sniffles before she
slowly pulled herself upright. A hand mirror was sitting on her
desk such that she could see her face and its pasty skin and puffy
eyes, framed by disheveled hair. <You *are* uncute.> She giggled
then choked on the laughter.

She found herself wishing that Ranma had knocked and come in a
little earlier, instead of just standing at her door, saying and
doing nothing. She knew the creaks of the house well enough to
know who it was that had been there. Her eyes wandered aimlessly
about the room, as they'd done a thousand times since this new
craziness arrived and she'd shut herself in.

She'd been secretly pleased that Ranma had dragged her down to
breakfast. Maybe he... well, she, for now, wasn't as big a jerk as
she sometimes thought, and maybe her iinazuke really did care as
much as Akane had come to believe from the events at Jusendo.
Akane shivered, remembering the helplessness of being trapped as a
doll.

She shivered again and almost broke into a fresh spate of crying
when she remembered that Ranma was longer bound to her by family
honor. He... she was free to make her own choices, now, and Akane
was scared. The other girls were, were so much better than her...
at *everything*. <Jerk! Baka!!>

<Not everything...>

<Oh... it's you, again,> she sighed. She'd been so upset that
she'd begun having these little conversations with herself, just
to have someone safe to talk to about it all. It turned out to be
completely *not* safe, at least not in the way she initially
intended. Further, through repetition the process had taken on
something of a life of its own, and she wasn't doing a good job of
hiding from herself, right now. <And what am I better at than
Shampoo... or Ukyou?> Although Shampoo was the most dangerous,
Akane worried most about Ukyou finally winning.

<Better at Ranma, in spite of your faults.>

<FAULTS?!?!>

<Cooking, hitting-->

<Okay, okay. Enough already. Besides, why am *I* better at Ranma?>

<Who does he rescue time and again, dropping everything and
everyONE to do it?>

<...!> Akane clutched her soaked pillow. <But... but we're not
engaged anymore,> she whimpered in her mind.

<Says who? What does Ranma say? It is *his* choice, now - not the
family's.>

<So?>

<So what are we doing to make sure he chooses us? Hiding out in
our room? Not sharing in maybe the biggest moment of his life?>

<...!!!> "Oh, no. What've I DONE?!"

The house vibrating under her feet derailed Akane's shocked
realization. Confused at first, she quickly came to the conclusion
that Ranma must be about to leave. The vibration suddenly died
away, and Akane flung her door open and ran out, fearing it was
too late.

----------

"Satome-san, step over the circle. Do NOT disturb it or the
writing inside," Urd cautioned.

"Ha-hai!" Nodoka's calm reserve was swiftly departing as the
enormity of what was about to happen dawned on her. With trembling
hands she gathered the lower part of her kimono and cautiously
stepped into the transport gate's main circle. She let go of her
clothes after she was in the center. Anxious butterflies were
boiling in a mass in her stomach, in contrast to the serenity of
those embroidered on her clothing.

Urd was still outside the circle, speaking with Belldandy. Soun,
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Ranma stood well away, like well-wishers on
the dock as an ocean liner departed. Although Nabiki was
pretending to be bored, Skuld really *was* bored. Sitting against
one wall, she pulled out a small spherical device, poring over it
and tweaking it here and there.

"Thanks, Bell." Urd turned from her sister and stepped across the
circle to join her passenger. Giving Nodoka a little squeeze on
the arm, she looked for and found Skuld. "Hey, Squirt. I'll see
you at the top. Don't be laaa-ate!" she sang.

"Yea, yeah," Skuld mumbled. She put away her device and stood to
watch her sister disappear. <If only,> she thought halfheartedly.

The small noises in the room quieted as everyone felt a stirring
in the air. Urd had raised her arms, silently gathering in magical
force before beginning her incantation. Belldandy knelt to one
side of the main circle, a piece of chalk in hand. At the
appropriate moment and with a nod from Urd, she deftly drew in the
final rune. The rune functioned as an activation key, and the
powdered cinderblock forming the inner and outer lines of the main
and satellite circles glowed brightly.

As Skuld had explained to Ranma, at Urd's insistence, the main
circle was the focus for gathering and implementing magical power
toward whatever use the runes designated. The satellite circles,
joined to the main circle at their outer lines and situated at 12,
6, and 9 o'clock, acted as navigational locks. The one at 12
o'clock, directly behind Urd and Nodoka, was the point of
departure, namely the dojo. The circle at 6 o'clock was their
destination, an arrival gate in Asgard. The remaining circle
represented Niflheim. It didn't navigate so much as keep things in
balance; all three planes had to be accounted for when traveling
from one to another.

Urd closed her eyes.

     "I call upon the Spirits of
        Wind, Water, Fire, and Earth!"

A double-walled translucent cylinder of golden light lazily rose
from the inner and outer rings of the main circle. It appeared to
pass right through the roof of the dojo.

     "I call upon the Wardens of
        Asgard..."

A double-walled column of light shot up from the satellite circle
behind her, moving so fast in its reach that it seemed to simply
appear.

        "...and Midgard,"

The circle between Urd and the spectators did likewise.

     "And Niflheim I see not, but Command!"

The final satellite circle joined its fellows, and scattered
applause came from Ranma and the Tendous. Urd colored slightly,
not used to an audience as such, and Belldandy smirked while Skuld
huffed. All this attention on her older sister was beginning to
annoy the youngest Norn.

Focusing her concentration again, Urd began the final verse to
initiate transport. As she spoke, a hum rose in the air, and the
floor began to vibrate.

     "In the Names of the Goddesses
        of Present, Past, and Future,"

She paused a second to gauge the flow of the energies and found
them satisfactory. She continued.

     "I Order thee, Wardens, take Us--"

...and Genma finally appeared. He burst from behind a number of
tumbling mats that were leaning against the wall by the door and
leapt over Ranma and the Tendous, arcing for the interior of the
main circle. But lacking knowledge of how the transport spell
worked, he was, in actuality, far too late; the columns of light
were warding shields. He had expected to be able to jump into the
circle just as it moved its occupants to the kami plane, hitching
a ride and explaining it away as not wanting to be away from his
wife. An unlikely excuse, but who were these 'persons' to know any
differently?

        "--to the Place of my Birth.
      Upward! To the Plane of the--"

Instead of going according to plan, Genma found himself with his
head stuck in the field of the destination satellite circle. The
energies were beginning to badly scramble his brain as he slowly
slid down the shield.

Urd was unable to stop the spell without potentially serious
consequences, and as she uttered the final syllables of the
spell,...

        "--Kami!"

...Genma's kicking feet hit the destination circle and smeared a
couple of runes. Urd and Nodoka vanished, the lights flashed once
and went out, and Genma fell backwards to the floor, unconscious.

----------

Several blocks from the dojo, Cologne stopped and stiffened.
Shampoo continued on for a few steps, almost walking over her.

"Hiba-chan?"

Cologne's eyes were wide as she turned to her great-granddaughter.
"I just felt a powerful magical discharge, far more powerful than
before. Go! Quickly! I'll follow as fast as I may!"

Without a word, Shampoo leapt to the rooftops and sped towards the
Tendou compound, as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her
heels.

----------

Gasping, Belldandy ran over, ignoring Genma for the moment, and
peered at the damage. Skuld was right behind her.

"Oneesama?! Where did it send them?!"

Ranma bounded over, having paused only to pound on her unconscious
father a couple of times. "Did somethin' go wrong?! Where's my
Momma?!?!"

Bell bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm not sure. I'm pretty
sure they still went to the kami plane, but I don't know how the
spell interpreted the damaged runes. They could've popped up in
just about any pantheon."

Skuld grabbed Ranma's hand and started walking towards the dojo
door. "We're going! NOW!!"

"ERK!!" Ranma was a little surprised by Skuld's strength.

"RANMA!!" The Saotome goddess whipped her head up to see Akane
standing between the sliding shoji. Skuld pushed past her, but
Akane stopped Ranma for a moment.

"Akane?! Pops just screwed up big time! If Momma's hurt, he'll
wish he'd never been BORN!!"

"Ranma." Akane's quiet voice shook Ranma out of his momentary
rage. "I... I hope Oba-sama's okay, but I... I wanted to, ah..."

"Akane?" Ranma's concern was clear in her voice. With all that had
been happening and with his worry for his mother, Ranma's walls
had come down.

"I'm... SORRY, Ranma! I've been awful. I..."

Ranma smiled at her. "That's okay. I wish--"

"RANMA! Let's GO!!" Skuld's patience was at an end, and she tapped
her foot furiously. She would never have admitted it, but she was
worried about Urd, and standing around was *not* getting her where
she could find something out.

"We'll, um, talk when I, er, get back," Ranma said shyly.

Akane, however, locked her eyes onto Ranma's. "Make sure you DO
come back. I wouldn't... I couldn't live with-... out... ARGH!!"
Akane grabbed Ranma's face and planted a kiss on her lips.

"...!" Ranma was puckered up properly but wide-eyed and staring.
Before she could do anything, Akane broke the kiss and ran back
into the house.

Skuld snagged Ranma's hand again and dragged her to the koi pond.
Dazed, Ranma stumbled along, the fingers of her free hand touching
her lips. The sensation of falling and the surface of the pond
going past snapped her out of the happy fog. She looked down into
a swirling liquid vortex that seemed to go on forever... and
screamed.

----------

Shampoo landed on the perimeter wall of the Tendou compound and
saw a young girl dragging an unusually dressed girl-type Ranma
towards the pond. Her eyes narrowed. <Not another one! And so
young--> All thought ceased and instinct kicked in as the pond
opened its twisting maw to receive the two of them.

"AIREEENNNNN!!!" She leapt from the wall with enough strength to
reach the pond. She watched, horrified, as Ranma and the girl went
into the pond's mouth and disappeared. The pond irised its maw
shut just as Shampoo awkwardly hit the water with a large splash.

A moment later, a soaked purple cat, too small to be the cause of
all the displaced water, dragged itself out of the pond, the
ornamented locks of hair on either side of her face plastered to
her jaws. A shadow loomed over her, and she looked up into the
smiling face of Kasumi.

"Hello, Shampoo-chan! How nice of you to visit!"

Sighing wearily and with her heart down in her paws, she allowed
Kasumi to pick her up and wrap her in a towel.


Cologne stepped into the dojo and received two very nasty shocks.
First, she laid eyes on the magical circles marked out on the
wooden floor. Somewhat experienced in the ways of sorcery, she
knew enough to know that what she was looking at was quite beyond
the knowledge and ability of anyone she could think of offhand.

A young woman, with her back to the Nyuuchiezuu Elder, was busily
working on one of the smaller circles. Apparently finished, she
rose and turned, catching sight of the wizened old woman clinging
to her staff. Cologne got her second shock when she saw the marks
on the woman's forehead and cheeks.

"Oh! Hello! I didn't see you come in," Belldandy greeted her.

Boggling, Cologne retained the presence of mind to jump down from
her staff, laying it carefully on the floor, and to bow very low
to the woman in front of her.

"Forgive my intrusion, oh honored goddess, but this unworthy one
would like to know what has transpired here."

Belldandy's fingers went to the side of her face. "Oh, dear. You
know what we are."

Cologne rose from her bow and chuckled. "I've had occasional
encounters with another of your station."

Belldandy smiled, warming the old woman's heart. <By the
Ancestors, she's real! The smile of a goddess is truly a wonder to
behold!>

"Well, that's okay, then. I am Belldandy." Belldandy formally
bowed to Cologne, who was charmed by her politeness. Cologne
returned the gesture.

"I am Cologne, Elder and Matriarch of the Chinese Amazons of
Joketsuzoku village."

"Oh, yes. I've heard Urd speak of your people from time to--"

"URD-SAMA?!" Cologne was boggling again.

"My, do you know my sister?" Belldandy asked cautiously. She never
knew whether Urd's acquaintances would be happy or mad.

Cologne's eyes swallowed her face. "Urd-sama is your SISTER?!"
Belldandy nodded and then stared as Cologne began cackling and
slapping her leg. "HAHAHA!! Pardon me if, HAHA, I find it a little
hard to, *Snort!*, er, reconcile the idea of you and Urd, HA!,
being related! You seem nothing alike! BWAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!!"

Belldandy nodded, understanding what Cologne was finding so
amusing. "Yes, Cologne-san," she giggled, "people often make that
observation. How do you know Urd-oneesan?"

The laughter had dwindled to the occasional chuckle and sniffle.
"Oneesan, eh? Well, we have, from time to time, gotten together
and talked shop. Potions, herbs, the odd chemistry experiment.
That sort of thing. Does Urd-sama still have trouble executing a
potion, or has she gotten better?"

Belldandy shook her head sadly. "No, not really. I think her
enthusiasm makes her a little careless."

Cologne snorted and hopped back onto her staff. "Enthusiastic.
That's her, all right." A serious look dropped back onto her face.
"Now, my dear, please tell me what business brings you to the
dojo. Probably Ranma, ne?"

Belldandy put her finger to her lip and thought. "Well, it seems
Ranma had a little accident--"

"Nothing new there," Cologne chuckled.

"I'm beginning to understand that about her."

Cologne noted the feminine pronoun but made no comment.

"This accident caused, well, hmmm. Let's see, the Personnel Files
in Yggdrasil were hacked and... No, that's no good."

"Just say it outright, Belldandy-sama."

Belldandy sighed and clasped her hands in front of her. "Saotome
Ranma is now Ranko, Goddess of Sex, Class I, Category I, Unlimited
License, ...or will be when she finishes her training."

Cologne blinked slowly for several seconds... and, in a manner
befitting her status as Matriarch, fell off of her staff in a
supreme face-fault.

____________________

END CHAPTER 3
____________________