Me again.  Do I need to repeat my plea for help?  Nah.

Oh, what the hey:

Help!  I need insight on Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune, and Uranus. (especially
Neptune and Uranus)  What would bug them at four am?  Anything?

To contact the author, please write to me (Jelynne) 
at; jlynne33@hotmail.com


*4 A.M. - Power*


	Four am, and I'm awake.

	Four in the morning, and I never went to 
sleep.

	And now, here I sit on this rooftop, hugging
my knees to my chest as tightly as I can, and 
staring straight ahead at nothing.  I haven't moved 
for a long time.  I've been too busy running around 
inside my head, thoughts scrambling in a morbid 
little circle.

			***

	I have the power to destroy.

	I am the destroyer.

	No, wait.

	I am the power of destruction personified.

	And I don't want to live.

	That sounds properly dramatic and 
angst-ridden, doesn't it?  Just the sort of thoughts
suited to the empty pre-dawn hours.  Too bad it's 
not true.

	I desperately want to live.  I want to see 
everything, touch everything, experience everything.
And what I want most of all is to have everything 
there to experience.

	There's no way I want to destroy any of it.
I couldn't bear to wipe away even a part of it.  
Everything here is so precious to me.

			***

	But *she*, my other me, doesn't feel quite 
the same way.  When she's me, and I'm her, it's all 
so different.  So much colder, so much 
black-and-white, with no grey to soften the edges.

	I'm frightened of myself.  Plain and simple.
I'm afraid of the person I turn into.  Afraid of 
what I'd do with my power.

	And yet, I could never give up that power.  
It's a part of me, entwined into my every heartbeat,
anchored deep in my soul.  Without it, I'd become 
my own shadow, fading away to nothing.

			***

	The power to be strong, safe, respected.

	The power to destroy everything and everyone
I care for.

	The power to sit here on this rooftop and 
stare at nothing until the dawn.

			***

	But it's not dawn yet.  So I'll sit.

	Until the sunrise, there are no demands and 
no choices I must make.  For now, there's just me 
and this sleeping city.

	I've stolen a little peace.  Just for 
tonight.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, what do you think?  I'd really like to know.

Jelynne
jlynne33@hotmail.com
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