A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by Mike Simmons.  All characters are property of 
Takahashi Rumiko.  Standard lemon warnings apply.

You know, pills can be funny things.  Instant, one day, lifetime... 
who can tell the difference these days?  Ladies and gentlemen, you 
may want to shield yourselves with your dessert menus....

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"Riding the Wild Horse"
-----------------------

	"Let see if pill really work!"  Shampoo piped in her 
high-pitched and strangely tonal voice, popping the love pill into 
Ranma's open mouth.  Before he could protest, Akane threw herself onto 
his back, grinding his head into the sand.  She smiled grimly at the 
Amazon.  'There's no way I'm letting -her- get her hands on Ranma... 
even -he- doesn't deserve to be a love slave to that blue-haired bimbo,' 
she thought.  Akane frowned, remembering some of the names he had been 
calling her earlier.  'Then again....'

	"No get in way, Akane!"  Shampoo pouted, curving her spine in 
that twisty feline way she had, bringing her ample chest into sharp 
relief.  Akane scowled again.  'There's no way those things are real.'  
Ranma twitched abruptly beneath her.  'Oh, great.  Now I've got to keep 
him from looking at--'

	Ranma pushed himself up from the ground and looked over his 
shoulder at Akane.
	
	"Akane, whaddaya think you're-- "  His words faded off, and a 
slightly dazed look gripped him.  'Ohno ohno ohno ohnooo!'  Thoughts 
fluttered through Akane's head like panicked butterflies.  'Not here!  
Not...now.'

	Ranma's eyes widened.

	"Man, you're cute!"

	He advanced on her, hands folded in supplication.  "I mean 
way cute!"  Akane backed away, mind racing.  'This isn't how it's 
supposed to happen!' she thought.

	Ranma blinked.  And stuck out his tongue.  There was something 
on it.  Something small.  Something round. 

	The pill.

	Ranma smirked.  "Just kidding!"

	All the times a human being has ever been angry were like the 
smoldering smoke of a tiny campfire compared to Akane's wrath.  She 
pursued him down the beach, determined to rip his head off and mail 
it back to his mother.  He laughed and dodged every one of her swings, 
sticking out his tongue with the pill still on it.  Akane screamed at 
the top of her lungs as she followed him.

	"You arrogant jerk!  Get BACK HERE!"

	All of Ranma's attention being focussed on Akane, he failed 
to notice his father, who had failed to notice Ranma.  Failing to notice 
things was a Saotome family trait.  The males, anyway.  As Ranma bounced 
backwards, avoiding Akane's lethal strikes with a beach umbrella, Genma 
blinked his beady little panda eyes in the bright sun.  Finally taking 
in the situation, Genma gasped at the sheer opportunity of the moment.  
Before the chance could escape, he belted Ranma on the back as hard as 
he could, making sure to hold up an innocent message sign as he did so. 
 
	The resulting jolt of his father's strike made Ranma swallow.  
Fear clutched at his throat as he felt the small, hard lump descend 
down his trachea and into his stomach.

	"Ohmigod, I swallowed it!"  In nervousness and panic, he lunged, 
lifting Shampoo's aged great-grandmother by the front of her sundress.

	"You old ghoul!  You've got to have an anti...  anti..." 
 

	blink.


	Ranma stared, dumbstruck.  How could he have been so blind?  
It had been right there in front of him all along.  Cologne was simply 
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen!  The simple, unpretentious 
scent of lilacs that she wore tugged at him, bringing him to her in what 
seemed the most natural thing he had ever done in his life.  He hugged 
her tight, and his heart swelled.  With her, he could be happy.  He could 
be at peace.  

	"Please, my heart!"  Ranma begged.  "Will you marry me?  I want 
to keep this... this feeling I have inside of me forever!"

	Cologne blushed and giggled.  'Yes!'  she exulted silently.  
'He took the lifetime pill!  I can feel it emanating from him, infusing 
his entire being!'  She sighed.  'I suppose I shall lose some standing 
among the elders of the Joketsuzoku for having such a young husband, 
but...'  Her gaze lingered on his powerful arms, his slim young build 
and wide, worshipful eyes.  He would die for her if the need arose.  
'I think the elders will understand.'  Cologne nodded.  "Yes, my love!" 
she cried.  "Take me away!"  She smiled as Ranma sped from the beach, 
clutching her tight in his arms.  The protesting cries of her 
great-granddaughter and Akane Tendo were soon left far behind.

	Cologne had repaired the deserted beach house last season, 
hoping to use it eventually as another establishment of the Nekohanten.  
At the moment though, her thoughts were far from ramen.  Ranma's legs 
pounded in an intoxicating rhythm as he sped down the beach, and she 
silently congratulated herself for leaving several large, soft blankets 
in the storage room.  As they neared the beach house, Cologne pointed.  
Ranma slowed to a walk, and placed Cologne gently on the front steps.  
His chest heaved from the long run, and several beads of sweat ran 
down his muscular legs, tracking silver in the afternoon sun.  Cologne 
beckoned, disappearing into the warm darkness of the house.  He 
followed.  

	As Ranma's eyes adjusted to the light, he saw Cologne sitting 
in the lotus position on top of a pile of blankets.  Her eyes were 
downcast.  

	"This is silly.  I am too old for this sort of thing, 
son-in-law."  Ranma drew himself up.  He didn't understand why the 
woman he loved was so sad, but the merest absence of a smile from her 
face tore at his soul with fangs of ice.  He dropped to one knee 
before her, catching one of her small worn hands in his own.  

	"My love, a new wine is sharp, green, and blunt to the taste.  
With the passage of time, it ripens into a beautiful vintage, mellow, 
sweet, and smooth.  Time can only bring it added dimension, more 
fullness and ripe flavour.  A cheese newly formed is harsh and acrid.  
Only with age can it reach its full potential as a delicious Swiss or 
strong Cheddar.  Your age is of no concern to me; it can only make you 
more beautiful." 

	A small grin came to Cologne's face at his words, and the 
earnest, serious look on his face.  She chuckled, and the low, 
throaty sound of her amusement filled him with joy.  

	"You could be right, son-in-law."  She sighed, and smiled 
wryly.  "I suppose I can't call you son-in-law anymore, can I?"

	Ranma took both her hands, pulling her close.  Her soft eyes 
glimmered in the half light, pools that drowned him, chains that held 
him, hands that caressed him.

	"You can call me 'husband'."  

	Their lips met, and the spark of contact was electric, 
tingling and warm.  Ranma pulled her small body up onto his legs, 
exploring her mouth with his tongue.  The dry roughness of her lips 
gave way to the twining of her own tongue, pushing at his own, pulsing 
and alive.  Cologne drew his tongue into her mouth, sucking gently on 
it as they kissed.  Beneath her folded knees, Cologne felt a stirring 
in Ranma's groin.  A hardness pushed at her legs, seeking freedom.

	Sliding her small, clawlike hand down over his chest, Cologne 
rubbed in circles that slowly descended the length of his body.  
Breaking free of the kiss, Ranma shivered in anticipation as she worked 
her hand slowly beneath the binding that secured his pants.  His shaft 
was fully erect now, he could feel the stiffness and the blood pulsing, 
throbbing.  Ranma felt the sensation of contact, and suddenly his shaft 
was caught in a gentle but firm grip.  Freeing the tie on Ranma's pants, 
Cologne traced a finger from the tip down, slowly circling to the base 
and cupping his testicles gently in her hand.  A strange light entered 
Ranma's eyes that Cologne had never seen in him before.  
The light of lust.

	Reaching out with hands that could shatter boulders and 
break strong fighters into the ground, Ranma gently slid the straps 
of Cologne's sundress down from her shoulders.  Her small withered 
breasts were bare and warm to his caresses, dry and wrinkled as he 
kissed her aged nipples.  

	The warm gust of Ranma's breath on her nipple sent tingles 
sparking through the Amazon elder's body, and she shuddered, her 
clawlike hands clutching spasmodically.  Her body hummed with wanting, 
she had to have him now.  With a small smile, she rose up and impaled 
herself upon his waiting shaft, sinking deep.  Ranma's eyes glittered 
with passion as he reached up to grasp her bony hips, pulling her 
down even further and himself into her warm, liquid depths.  

	Somewhere between the two, a slow thrusting movement was born, 
small at first, but growing quickly, rushing like the tide, pounding 
like the surf on the sand.  Cologne tossed her head back, the 
matriarch's breath coming in short, rhythmic pants.  She abandoned 
herself completely, shuddering as Ranma drove into her tiny body with 
tireless, swift thrusts.  Beads of sweat flew from her tangled hair, 
drenching her slumped shoulders.  She rode the wild horse.  And a 
three hundred year old thirst was finally slaked.  

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Author's Notes:
...

Naaaah, I don't think I'll say it.  :)