Lost Backstory; Jashta

	My father has changed much in the past years.
	Once, he was respected, honorable.
	Then he lost his job, due to an overseas merger. He couldn't find work, 
until he met Goshi. Goshi always had some work form him to do, and while dad 
was never eager to do the work, he did it. Eventually, he began to get more 
and more distant from us. His work took up all his time, and he wouldn't 
appear home until late at night. Not once did he say what he did.
	Then I followed him. He went to a warehouse, opened a crate, revealing what 
looked like sacks of flour. They were not flour. He was with Goshi, and to 
this day, I still remember what they said.
	"So this is what you want me to deliver?"
	"Yes. You will be well paid of course."
	"I had better be. My family is getting suspicious."
	"Then deal with them."
	"But..."
	"Do you have a problem?"
	"No sir."
	"Then get to work."
	My father then loaded the sacks onto a truck, and drove off. I managed to 
get home without catching any attention, and told my mother shortly 
afterward about what I found.
	I still regret that decision.
	When dad got home, my mother immediately confronted him. He began raving on 
about how this was his way of getting back at those shit eating culture 
vultures. I didn't have to guess that he was referring to the Americans. He 
never did get over loosing his job.
	My mother walked over to a phone. She said that if the father of the family 
would ignore their honor, then the mother would carry out his duties.
	Dad went nuts. He drew a gun from somewhere on him, and began screaming at 
her, "You're in league with them aren't you? You and all those fuck-ups in 
the government! Bitch!"
	He hit her.
	My father was a big man, lots of muscle and tall. My mother was tall too, 
but only 150 lbs. She went down from the first blow. But she looked up at 
him with such an intense gaze he stepped back. Then he aimed the gun.
	To this day, I don't know where I got that knife. I may have picked it up 
in the kitchen, or on my way back, but I do remember that I stopped him from 
killing my mother. He was about to shoot, and I stabbed him. Straight 
through the heart. He turned and looked at me, a shocked, terrified and 
empty gaze locked on me.
	Then he crumpled and fell.
	I was shocked. The blade was still in my hand, it's new crimson coloring 
gleaming brightly. I ran. I was terrified at what I had done, at the fact 
that I had just killed my own father. And some part of me... it enjoyed it. 
It took pleasure in his death.
	It was at that point that I began to believe that I was a monster. People 
don't enjoy killing. Yet I did... so I was not human.
	I needed some way to make sure... some test.
	The high school.
	If I attempted to kill someone there, and was unable too, then I was a 
human. If they died... than so would I.
	I took the guns from that same warehouse that I found my father at.
	I found the other two. Mishka, a girl desperate for a way to be seen, to 
escape the trap fate had placed upon her. And Hikaru. He was so easily 
brought into the circle. He hated everyone there, disgusted by the 'heroes', 
despised the average guys who took so much pleasure in hurting him...
	We came to an agreement. At some point, I would give a signal. If I did, 
that would start the rampage. I knew that we would all die, but the other 
two never seemed to acknowledge that point.
	It's interesting how some things can lead to others. My father's job died, 
and with it went his soul. My father died, and with him went mine. I wonder 
who's I will take with me...

---------
  Hmm... looks like I'm on the road again...
  I know I promised a new piece to Lost in August, but this was all I could 
come up with. And since my pre-readers aren't talking to me, (did you guys 
change your addresses?) this is the best I got. My apologies if it seems to 
far from japanese culture or spelling errors.
   As always, C&C is apreciated, blatent praise less so. Just letting
me know you've read it would be nice though. Flames will be read, then
put in the jokes section.
   Should anyone MST this, please send me a copy.
      Lone Wolf

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