% Ah. A BGlanders fic. Always worth a looksee.


Father

By BGlanders

***


Everyone saw it coming from a mile away, but dad, grandpa and I remained
optimistic.  We told each other that she was just 'feeling a little down'
and
that she would be home before we know

% knew
% Nice work. That's what a lot of people say, trying to maintain a front of
optimism, despite the odds.

it. The worse her health got, the more
dad would hug me and tell me that mom was going to be just fine, and that
she'd be home in time for Christmas.

I remember the last day dad took me to see her.  I was only four, but I
remember it pretty well.  Dad drove me downtown to a huge building that had
this really sterile smell to it.  Mom was on the third floor, and I
remember
asking dad if we could take the elevator.  He lifted me up so I could press
the button.  I remember I was smiling because I was about to see my mom,
and
because "she would be home soon".

% Nice imagery. I especially like the bit with him remembering, of all
things, pushing the elevator button.

When we got to her room, I wanted to run right up to the side of her bed to
give her a big hug, but dad kept his hand on my shoulder.  I remember her
giving me the warmest, kindest smile I had ever felt, and how her eyes lit
up
when we arrived.  I sat on the side of the bed and told her about grandpa,
about how cold it was and that dad and I had been eating a lot of instant.

% Hmm. The sentence feels like it ends too abruptly with 'instant'. Might
want to add 'food' or something.

She gave him a pinch for that one.

% Again a nice touch.


"I love you.  Please remember that I'll always love you, no matter what.
Please� I love you so much, you're my whole world, you and your father.
Please don't forget that, please�I love you so very much�"

I told her 'I love you' back, and when she finally let go I couldn't take
my
eyes off of hers; they were red from all of her crying, but they were so
full
of love that I hardly noticed.  Then she sniffled a bit, smiled at me and
told me to wait outside while she talked to dad.

I was so young I couldn't even understand.

She was telling me goodbye.

% Indeed. Described in a simple way here, but given that this is through
the eyes of a four year old Tenchi, it's the most appropriate.

A few minutes later dad came out, took my hand and led me out to the van.
I
remember him asking if I wanted any ice cream, and us stopping at a store
to
get some.  He said "Tonight we'll make some ice cream floats and watch some
TV, does that sound good to you?"  I cheered and practically drug him into
the store.

I didn't really realize until later that his eyes were as red as moms.

% mom's.

And at that moment, it felt just like it did when mom was hugging me.

% A nice touch again.


"I know it hurts, I know you're angry.  I've been angry too; angry with God
for taking her away, angry with myself for not being able to do anything to
help her.  These last few weeks have hurt more than I ever thought anything
could, but I know if nothing else she loved us, boy.  I know she wouldn't
want us to be mad or grieve for her loss.  I know she would want us to
remember her love for us, and most of all our love for each other.  I know
you're mad, but just remember that she loved� that she loves you, and that
your father and I love you too.  You two are all I have left, you know.  I
don't want to go through the rest of my life being hated by someone who I
love so much� I need you here with me, you and your father both�"

I couldn't take anymore.  I was crying so hard I couldn't see straight, and
grandpa was choking back his sobs with every word.  Before he could say
anything else, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, sobbing
into
his shoulder.

% A very emotional scene.  Well done again.

He hugged me back almost immediately; his own tears were finally spilling
over.  I remember that after awhile grandpa

% awhile, grandpa
% I think

Every night, I would kiss grandpa goodnight and climb into bed, and every
morning dad would leave for work before I was up.

After awhile

% a while
% Again, I think

 I got so used to not seeing him, I started to forget he was
still around.

This went on for nearly a year.  For an entire year of my childhood, the
time
I saw my father at home could have been compiled into a day.

% Yikes. That is pretty bad. Interesting, though.

Eventually dad started spending more and more time at home.  Every weekend
he
would ask me what I wanted to do; go hiking, maybe, or go to the beach.  It
was like he was so desperate to make up for the year that he wasn't around
after mom died he thought that if he didn't spend time with me, I'd resent
him for it.

I remember one night several months after mom's death dad

% death, dad


Now I'm all grown up, and dad and I still see each other every day, but we
never spend too much time together.  It's not because I'm angry with him
for
that missing year, or because he's too withdrawn to spend any time with me,
because neither of these things is true.

It's just that after spending so much time apart, we're actually
uncomfortable spending time together.

% Hmm. I didn't see that one coming, but it doesn't sound impossible
either. They never do seem to hang around one another all that much, though
Nobiyuki always shows concern for Tenchi's future.


It was at that moment I realized something horrible; I could see my
mother's
face as clear as day in my mind, but my father, a man who lived under the
same roof as I did, was difficult to picture.

It was at that moment I realized; my father is a stranger to me.

I miss you dad, I miss you a lot.

% Very well done. Very sad, but still a very enjoyable read. I didn't see
that end bit about him and his father being strangers coming until the end,
the speed with which the revelation happened was a bit abrupt, especially
with how the tone was set earlier, but it still works.

D.B. Sommer