Centaur
a Ranma 1/2 spamfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)
Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 1999
by Takahashi Rumiko. Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan
Inc. Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc. This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.
Chapter 3.1416: Chiron's Revenge
~~~~~
"Almost there...." It was true. The path led over one last
rise before dipping out of sight, and Ranma and Akane paused atop
the rise for a moment, looking out over the small valley that
meant so much to them.
Jusenkyo. "Place of Cursed Springs," by one reading, but it
could as well be read "Charmed Spring Birthplace." Akane
shivered despite the summer sunshine and drew a little closer to
Ranma; for him-- or her, at the moment-- it had been a birthplace
of sorts, but for her, it was a place where she'd nearly died.
"Ranma, tell me again what we're doing here. I thought
you'd gotten used to being a woman. I thought you didn't mind it
anymore."
Ranma shrugged. "I don't, but... I dunno. We were so close
anyway, I just had to come and... well...." She sighed. "Look,
wouldn't you rather I was a guy all the time?"
*No!* Akane thought, but she knew better than to say it.
How to say that some of the magic Ranma had brought into her life
was Jusenkyo's, and not his alone? How to say that she'd miss
her best friend, even if her husband was still with her? She
managed a smile. "I suppose."
Ranma wasn't looking at her; her eyes were fixed on the
small pools and their bamboo poles glittering under a blue sky.
"Come on, let's go see the Guide." They started down the path.
~~~~~
"Ah, Mister Customer!" The Guide wasn't fooled by Ranma's
form; he remembered all his customers, and these better than
most. "And Miss Customer-- no, Missus Customer now, yes?"
Akane smiled politely. "Yes, we're married now."
"Good, good! So, what I do for you?"
"Nanniichuan," Ranma said firmly. The Spring of Drowned
Man. "Please show me the Nanniichuan."
The Guide smiled widely. "Ah. Maybe you ready now. We go
see." He led them towards the pools. "Is still risk, you know."
"Risk?" Ranma and Akane said together. "What risk,
exactly?" Akane continued carefully.
The Guide shrugged. "You know Pantyhose-Taro, yes? You
know octopus-curse? Magic mix, yes? Maybe magic mix for you,
too."
"'Maybe'?"
"Is magic." The Guide shrugged again, eloquently.
"Hey, you SENT me a barrel of Nanniichuan!" Ranma said
accusingly. "You must have thought it would work!"
"I think it work," the Guide defended himself. "But still
risk. You go all way under, probably OK."
"Well, you could have said," Ranma grumbled.
"You no ask." The Guide stopped and indicated a pool
indistinguishable from all the other pools. "Nanniichuan."
Ranma stared down into the clear water. Cure, or redoubled
curse? She suppressed the thought with the ease of long
practice. He, er, she was Saotome Ranma, and risk was for lesser
men to worry about--
"Ranma, I really don't like this."
Ranma turned; Akane was standing well back from the pool,
crouched slightly as though she expected to be ambushed at any
moment. Ranma smiled cockily and gestured at the pool. "Aw,
take it easy, Akane. What could go wrong? Whoops!"
"RANMA!!" Akane darted forward and caught Ranma's wrist,
stopping her sudden slide into a pool-- the wrong pool, the one
next to the Nanniichuan. Ranma lay prone on the grassy ground,
her legs and hips immersed in the pool.
"Nice save, Akane," Ranma said shakily. Suddenly a very
strange expression crossed her face.
Akane pulled tentatively. "Um, Ranma, you feel, um,
heavier...."
The Guide whistled. "Aiya, you very special customer," he
said, shaking his head. He produced a sign. Ranma read it and
her jaw dropped. "You fall halfway into Maniichuan. Very tragic
story of horse what fall into spring 791 year ago. Now you take
body of horse--"
"Uh, gimme a hand here, I think I got this figured out--"
With Akane's help, Ranma managed to get her lower body out of the
spring. Standing up, though, was exactly twice as hard as she
expected it to be.
"--or half of horse," the Guide completed. He looked Ranma
over, frowning. "What you call this?"
"Oh, shit," Ranma said. She kicked the remains of the
trousers off and twisted from side to side to examine her slim,
strong legs, her muscular haunches, and her four neat hooves.
She took a couple of tentative steps and looked at Akane with a
sickly grin. "Uh.... sorry about this."
Akane sighed and massaged her forehead with one hand.
"Ranma, you baka. You just couldn't leave well enough alone,
could you? Now look at you."
"Hey, it's not so bad. It looks like I can run real fast
now--"
"'Run'?! Sure, and JUMP, and EAT HAY, and... my GOD, Ranma,
how are we going to go to SCHOOL now? They don't MAKE St.
Hebereke's uniform skirts to fit your, your, your female form!"
"Hey! Quit naggin'!"
Akane giggled. "Nagging." The next giggle sounded slightly
hysterical, but she controlled herself with an effort and calmed.
"Well, Ranma, if you think your new cursed form is going to get
any, you're in for a shock."
Ranma flinched. The Guide whistled again, but they ignored
him. "Oh, c'mon, Akane, it's not that bad...."
"Yes, it is. It is exactly that bad. Idiot." Akane smiled
suddenly. "I know how you can make it up to me, though."
Ranma seized gratefully on the opportunity. "How?"
"Come over here." Akane carefully led Ranma out of the maze
of pools and over to where their packs were. She took something
out of one of the packs, concealing it from Ranma, then turned
around, keeping it behind her. She smiled cutely at Ranma and
ran a hand over her withers.
"You're not thinkin' what I think you're thinkin', are ya?"
Ranma asked suspiciously.
Akane let her teeth and the riding crop show at the same
time.
"Oh, jeez--!"
Akane mounted with one athletic bound and clamped her legs
around Ranma's barrel torso, keeping her balance easily despite
Ranma's startled bucking and plunging. "Keep an eye on our
packs, OK?" she called to the Guide over Ranma's complaints. "We
have some, um, dominance issues to work out, but we'll be back in
an hour or two. I always wanted a pony," she added to herself.
"HYAA!" Whack!
The Guide watched the pair disappear over the ridge in a
cloud of dust and shook his head. "Good thing Mister Customer no
fall in blank pool with new curse," he muttered, trudging back to
his cottage.
~~~~~ end chapter 3.1416 ~~~~~
I didn't think I'd ever write a spamfic, but I made the mistake of getting
on FFIRC last night, and Gary said... well, an hour and a half later, I
was staring at this. Doug: you were right. :)
Vince Seifert Network Analyst seifertv@csus.edu
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
CSUS hired me to build their LANs, not to give away the homeworld.