Returning Home
By David Farr
Part 10

        Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan,Inc and is used
here respectfully for the purposes of fanfiction. This story may be
redistributed only if unchanged and no fee is charged.
        This story and my other works of fiction may be found at:
    http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/

*****

        It was a silent tableau in the Tendo household.

        Ranma, in his customary red and black silk, stood between Akane and
Nabiki, both of whom were clad in the grey dresses of the Furnikan School
uniform. Nabiki's face showed surprise and disbelief, but the other two
simply stared into the dining room, there eyes not wavering from the pair
standing before them.

        Next to the door stood Soun Tendo, dressed in the ancient armour of the
Samurai. His head kept switching between the trio standing out on the
porch and the young man they were staring at. Confusion was the only
expression he wore.

         Serene and confident, Nodoka stood beside an overturned table. In truth
she barely understood what was happening, and certainly did not know how
her son could be in two places at once. Of course, she wasn't going to
let that phase her, not when the protection of her family was in
question.

        That family that needed protection was her grand-daughter, child of
Akane and Ranma, the delightful red head, Ukyo Saotome. She was peering
around the table at her father, and the other copy of him standing beside
that nice girl.

        Kasumi Tendo was the only one moving, she was slowly inching away from
the boy who she had just, apparently mistakenly, dragged in. Whoever he
was, she could recognise the threat of combat in the air.

        Then, finally, there was the pair that was causing the collective
confusion and distrust. Dusty from travel, and looking more than a little
embarrassed were Ranma Saotome and Ukyo Kounji.

        "Two Ranmas?!" Nabiki demanded incredulously.

        "Well?" demanded the Ranma standing in the doorway to the backyard. "Who
the hell are you?!"

        The other Ranma grinned sheepishly and massaged the back of his neck.
"This is rather hard to explain. You see I'm not from this world."

        "Oh, a dimension traveller," Ranma-A shrugged. "Sorry to tell you, but
this ain't your world."

        "Yeah, we'd figured that," Ranma-U replied, then paused for a few
moments. "Wait a sec, you know about world travelling?"

        "Yeah, Akane and I just got back ourselves."

        "Woah, woah, timeout," Nabiki stepped in, holding her hands in a T.
"Someone want to explain all this."

        Ranma-A smiled at her. "Easy to explain, they're the Ranma and Ukyo from
an alternate world. Similar people, slightly different histories."

        "Actually," the new Ukyo interrupted, "fairly different histories." She
looked around, ignoring the Panda as it wandered in. "In our world we've
never heard of the Tendos, this is the Saotome dojo."

        "SAOTOME!" Soun loomed up over the panda. "How dare you steal my dojo?!"

        "Huh?" Ranma-U looked at his counterpart. "That's your father?!"

        Nabiki raised her eyebrows. "You haven't encountered Jusenkyo?"

        "Never heard of it," Ukyo and Ranma-U replied.

        Nodoka cleared her throat. "Everyone settle down. I think maybe we
should sit and calmly discuss this. Also introductions may be in order."

*****

        As it turned out, Ranma-U and his wife Ukyo-S came from a world where,
after having their first child, Soun Tendo and his wife died in an
accident. Genma and Nodoka Saotome, who had been trying to have a child,
adopted the orphaned baby Kasumi. In respect of his old friend Genma had
built a dojo.

        Ranma-U had been born in the normal course, and he had grown up with a
more stable lifestyle and a big sister. There was no seppuku pact, and no
ten-year training trip. Also, there was no Tendo agreement to get in the
way of him marrying Ukyo.

        "That's why we were kind of confused when Kasumi dragged us in," Ranma-U
finished explaining. "My sister isn't so... peaceful." They were sitting
around the now replaced table, sipping at tea Kasumi had supplied.

        "That's understandable," Nabiki snorted. "Being brought up by Genma
could do that to you."

        "Yes, I'm sure." Nodoka gave her husband a disapproving glare. At least
he had become human once more. "But this little altercation has
over-shadowed something bigger." She turned to her son, her real son, not
the other version of him. "Little Ukyo had a scare this morning, said
something about a 'him' being here. She refused to tell us who, but said
you were in trouble. Do you know what she may mean?"

        "Yes, we do," Akane answered seriously.

        Nabiki leaned forward. "This has something to do with Tsubasa, doesn't
it."

        Ranma nodded. "It has a lot to do with what happened to him. It all
started when Ukyo was only one, in a world that had far too much magic
for my liking..."

*****

        "What does that make it?" Ranma asked, brushing the glittering dust off
his shoulders and dropping down to lie next to his wife.

        "Three imps, five pixies, about a dozen sidhe, one beansidhe..." She
turned her head to glare at him, "I didn't bother to count the dryads,
because I was too busy chasing you; and I believe we ignored one rather
surprised old Irishman."

        Ukyo-chan gurgled happily and slapped her mother's face. Unfortunately
for her, she only got a smile in response.

        Ranma stared up at the lush forest canopy above them. It was an
interesting place, and according to Akane it was similar to a place in
their own world. She'd alternated between calling it Ireland and the
Emerald Isle. If it was as green as this, he could understand the name.
Still the ground was uncomfortable, as if there was something small and
hard jutting into his back.

        "What am I lying on?" he wondered aloud. Ranma arched his back,
inserting his arm underneath and scrabbling around for a few moments.
"Ah!" Victorious, he pulled his hand out, and stared at the small object
in his hands.

        It was mushroom shaped, but made from wood. Turning it over Ranma found
that the top was inscribed with delicately drawn glyphs. Unsurprisingly,
he couldn't read the language, although he could almost recognise a few
English characters amidst the spidery writing.

        "Why do I get the feeling that was a really bad idea?"

        Akane sighed. "I don't know, maybe its over two years of experience."

        An insane cackling broke through the relative silence of the forest and
moments later a small figure shimmered into existence on Ranma's chest.
It was a little man, smaller than little Ukyo, wearing a green suit, a
green top hat and carrying a cane. "So you're the one who freed me from
that infernal prison."

        Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Right. So you're going to grant me three
wishes?"

        "Nah boy-oh, I'm gonna kill you." Before Ranma could react he vanished,
leaving only his laugh behind.

*****

        "...we were trapped in that world for another four days. He kept
attacking us, but never directly. Always he'd taunt me, then use someone
he'd enchanted to fight for him. In the end we found out why he was
attacking me. The enchantment that had imprisoned him said that the only
way for him to be truly free was to kill the one who released him."

        "Yep," Ranma-U murmured, looking at Ukyo-S, "he's definitely another
version of me."

        "You got that right honey. Only you could get into this kind of
trouble." Ukyo's comment brought sniggers from most of those sitting
about the table.

        Nabiki rested her wrist on her forehead dramatically. "Ah, the path of a
martial artist is truly fraught with peril." She straightened, a smug
grin on her face. "I'm glad I'm not one." She turned to Ranma-A. "This
leprechaun's enchantment takes the form of a four-leaf clover, doesn't
it. And it effected me when I touched it, that's why you had to threaten
me."

        "Got it in one," Ranma-A replied. "The enchantment enhances some aspect
of the victim and twists him or her to want to kill me. It's even
powerful enough that it worked on Akane once, but not for long. However
when I touch the clover, it just dries up and blows away."

        "Makes sense," Ukyo-S mused. "The spell would be at cross-purposes, both
trying to kill you and enhance you." She paused looking thoughtful for a
few seconds, then turned to her husband. "We have a problem, this
leprechaun will target you as well, not knowing the difference."

        Ranma-U nodded and grinned at his counterpart. "Well then, I guess we'll
just have to help out."

        Ranma-A returned the grin. "Glad to have you aboard." He reached out to
offer his hand.

        "Ranma! Ranma!" A cry from the garden interrupted the handshake, and
Blades slid in through the door. She skated over to Ranma-U, dropping to
her knees beside him. "Ranma! There's another you wandering around." She
paused, looking him over. "Oops, wrong Ranma," she declared then leapt to
her feet and swept around the table to Ranma-A. "Ranma! There's another
you..." She paused again, turned to stare at Ranma-U, then once again
returned her attention to Ranma-A. "Ranma! There are two other version of
you wandering around."

        Everyone at the table facefaulted.

        "What do you mean another me?!" Both Ranma's loomed over her as everyone
else picked themselves up off the floor.

        "Well, I was up on the roofs watching this cute girl with this lovely
purple hair--"

        "Shampoo," Ranma-A supplied. "I've told you about her before."

        Realisation dawned on Blades' face. "Oh, that's her name, I knew I
recognised her from somewhere." She took a deep breath. "Anyway, I was
watching her, she was just sitting there crying when suddenly this couple
leap onto the roof. I didn't really pay them any mind, but this girl,
Shampoo, looks up and then hides. It was like she'd seen a ghost or
something. So I look over at the couple, and I see another version of
Shampoo and Ranma and they have a baby. This must of really spooked the
first Shampoo, cause she's sitting there shaking and looking all pale,
and then she leaps to her feet and rushes off. I was going to follow, but
decided to come here and warn you instead." She finished her fast speech
with a gasp.

        "Th-three Ranma's?!" Nabiki cried. "Oh, no, the world's coming to an
end!"

        "It's not that bad," Kasumi comforted her sister.

        "Stop and think about it, sis," Nabiki had a slightly wild look in her
eyes. "How much trouble does one Ranma attract?!"

*****

        The door to the Nekohanten slammed open. "Grandmother! Grandmother!"
Shampoo shot into through the restaurant at a full run, leaving upturned
tables and patrons in her wake.

        Cologne scowled at the girl as she skidded to a stop and started
shifting about nervously. The old woman was surprised when the scowl went
unnoticed. "What's the matter Shampoo?" she demanded angrily.

        "Shampoo see Shampoo!"

        For a few moments Cologne ran the statement through her head to see if
there was some sub-context she'd missed. She came up blank.
"Granddaughter, if you keep saying things like that, people will believe
you to be stupid."

        "But grandmother, Shampoo see herself walking with Ranma and a baby! She
no understand how, but that what Shampoo see! Grandmother explain,
please!" The last came out as a begging whine.

        Cologne reached out and place a withered hand on the girl's forehead.
Finding no fever she paused in thought. It was safest to suppose that the
child was telling the truth, she decided. "I do not know what is going
on, but I believe son-i... Ranma, will."

*****

        Two Ranmas, an Ukyo and an Akane stood in the back yard of Tendo
household, discussing life and adventures. Despite coming from two very
different timelines they found that their histories bore a striking
resemblance.

        "Kuno fell for you?" Akane demanded of Ukyo. "Ah, didn't mean to say it
quite like that, but still..."

        "Yeah, on the day I arrived he tried to get into his regular fight with
Ranma, but I got in the way and had to beat him up. After that he decided
I was the only woman for him and announced that only someone who could
defeat me could date me."

        "And everyone took it to mean you'd date anyone who could defeat you,"
Akane finished. "I went through the same thing, only Ranma's arrival
pretty much ended it."

        Ranma-A looked over at the other Ranma. "So did you guys meet up with
Kodachi?"

        "Yeah, Ukyo competed against her in the Marital Arts Gymnastics
tournament."

        "Mikado?" Akane inquired.

        "That womanising pervert," Ukyo-S spat. "He stole my first kiss!"

        "How about Shampoo?" Ranma-A asked.

        "Who?" Ranma-U and Ukyo-S chorused.

        "She's a Chinese amazon that Ranma bet up, and now she's fallen in love
with him," Akane replied, she paused, frowning for a second. "I suppose
that means you don't know the Hiryu Shouten Ha."

        "Never heard of it," Ranma-U replied. "But I'm sure I've learnt
techniques you haven't."

        "Wait a moment," Ukyo-s said thoughtfully. "Isn't Shampoo the name of
the girl your friend said was with the third Ranma?"

        "Excuse me," said a girl's voice in perfectly pronounced Japanese.

        Everyone turned slowly to find the purple haired amazon standing atop
the wall beside yet another Ranma. It was obvious that this was not the
Shampoo of this world. There was a mature glint in her eyes and her long
hair flowed down her back. A bundle of cloth nestled protectively in
Shampoo-S' arms.

        "Nihao, do you mind if we join the Saotome family union?" Shampoo-S
grinned.

        "We were wondering when you'd join us," the other two Ranma's chorused.
They glanced at each other, half annoyed, half embarrassed.

        "Yeah," Akane agreed, ignoring her husband and his counterpart. "We were
starting to get bored with discussing the differences between our
worlds."

        "Excuse us," Ranma-S leapt down off the wall. "We couldn't be sure." He
paused for a second. "So how long did you know?"

        "Since you arrived," Ukyo replied. "We all sensed you."

        Shampoo-S whapped her husband over the head. "I told you."

*****

        Kuno fumed quietly. This was an unusual state for him. Normally he'd be
ranting, probably about Ranma until recently, but rant was one of the
many things he couldn't do. Also, he couldn't pace, swing his bokken
wildly, or beat the stuffing out of practice dummies, so he settled for
directing an irritated glare at his captor.

        And captor she was, for the great Tatewaki Kuno was bound very securely
to the wrought iron bench in his sister's arboretum. The steel-like
ribbons encircling his wrists and ankles were, however, a redundancy. The
powder she had forced him to inhale when she attacked him was still
holding his muscles in its vice like grip. It was certainly more potent
than any of her pervious creations.

        "So, brother dear, you were warning the red-haired tramp and that Tendo
wench, hmmm?" Kodachi mused from behind a hedge. She had gone there to
change, she had said. Kuno was just glad he had been spared watching
that.

        "I'm sorry brother dear, but I can not allow you to interfere." She
paused for a few seconds. "What was that brother? Oh, no, I'm sorry, I
can't let you protect those sluts. They must die for keeping my Ranma
from me." She paused again. "Well, I guess I'll have to live with your
hate, but then I'll have my darling Ranma!"

         Kuno wondered for a moment why his sister was saying these things to
him, then realisation struck him. She was having a discussion with him.
Whatever dementia she was buried in was supplying his words to her ears.
That boded ill should she come across Akane, Ranma and there fledgling
family, especially if he was suffering from his curse.

         With a flourish Kodachi stepped out into view. She was dressed in her
normal dark green, but instead of her leotard she a two piece outfit that
left her mid-drift bare. Her leather top supported and emphasied her
breasts, then rose up over shoulders into a high collar that dipped down
into her cleavage. To Kuno's eyes the leather bikinis were even more
indescent, they covered none of her legs and just enough of the rest of
her to keep her modesty.

        The twisted younger Kuno sibling twirled once, showing her brother that
the outfit barely existed when viewed from behind. "Do you think my
darling Ranma will enjoy seeing me in this? I picked it up in America
while I was searching for my darling Ranma."

        Grinning she stepped up to her brother and bent over to look him in the
eye. Not even Kuno's will was sufficient to tear his eyes away from the
view thus presented. He did, however, wonder what the small weed was
doing nestled in her bosom.

        "I shall be off now brother dear. You just stay here and wait for me."
She leapt away, her insane cackle hanging around to taunt the helpless
samurai for a few moments.

*****

        Once more the all the Tendos and Saotomes had gathered to hear the story
of a Ranma and his wife. This time they sat in the dojo, deciding the
living room was too cramped for eleven adults, one child and two babies.
Having grown bored with the talk the four wives and Kasumi had gathered
around the two infants. The others were kneeling in a circle trying to
have a serious discussion.

        "So what we have," Nabiki mused, "is the Ranma from this universe that
fell through a hole in time and space with Akane," Ranma-A nodded. "A
Ranma from a universe that's exactly the same, as far as we can tell,
except that he was with Shampoo when he started world travelling."
Ranma-S nodded. "And finally a Ranma from a universe when my father and
mother died before giving birth to me and Akane, so he's marrying Ukyo."
Ranma-U nodded. "Not to mention the three ladies in question, and the
three children, two by Ranma and Akane, one by Ranma and Shampoo."

        "I do believe we all got that during our discussions," Soun commented,
"you didn't have to repeat it."

        "I was just making sure nobody missed anything." Nabiki shot a glare at
Genma, whose eyes had long since glazed over.

        Ranma-A leaned forward and peered at his two counterparts. "Main
question now is how long you guys will be hanging around for?"

        "Good question." Ranma-U pulled a small remote from his belt. "Sorry
guys, we've got to leave sometime tomorrow, or else there's no telling
how long we'll be stuck here. It's a limitation of the timer."

        The other two Ranma's shared a glance, then looked back at him. "Poor
you," they chorused sincerely.

        "You must have missed out on some fine sights," Ranma-S continued.

        Ranma-A nodded in agreement. "But it certainly explains why you and Ukyo
haven't got a kid yet, if you're always rushing to catch a portal. Akane
and me had some nice downtime once in and a while, that's what lead to
Ryoga."

        "Same with us," Ranma-S added.

        Blades leaned in, her glowing eyes fixed on Shampoo's husband. "So
what's your Shampoo like in bed?" Ranma-S blushed, eliciting chuckles
from his two counterparts.

        Nabiki, kneeling next to the swordgirl, rolled her eyes and glared at
blades for a second. "Is pursuing Shampoo all you can think of?"

        The replying smile could have caused cavities as Blades clasped her
hands before her heart and tilted her head slightly. "Why Nabiki-chan,
are you jealous? All you had to do was ask!"

        "That's not what I meant!" Nabiki exclaimed.

        "Oh, you, I think a threesome would be fun, too!" Blades shuffled over
and rested her chin on Nabiki's shoulder, giving the middle Tendo sister
doe eyes.

        "Get off me." Nabiki shurgged her off, then scooted over to hide behind
Soun. She peeked out and wished she hadn't. Blades was staring back, an
exaggerated frown on her face, her shoulders slumped and her eyes
starting to shimmer with tears.

        A tapping at the dojo door interrupted both groups. Kasumi broke off
from the baby appreciation society to sweep over to the door. The perfect
hostess (and simply because looked at the children gave her such a warm
feeling), she was smiling as she slid the door aside.

        "Oh, its good to see you." She paused and the other person murmured
quietly. "No, not really, we were all just talking. Come right in, I'm
sure everyone will appreciate your input." Kasumi pulled aside, revealing
a serious looking Cologne backed up by Shampoo, who was glancing about
and hopping from foot to foot.

        "Why thank you child," Cologne smiled at Kasumi as she pogoed in.
"Ranma, I need to..." She trailed off as she spotted the two groups. She
looked from the group of women (and one red haired child) clustered about
the babies two to the men and two girls kneeling not far away in a
circle.

        Normally it would take a lot to fluster Cologne, after all she was over
a hundred years old. Normally of course she didn't have to cope with
Shampoo, Ukyo and Akane getting a long fine, especially when Shampoo was
also standing behind her. Normally she wasn't being watched warily by
three, count'em, three, Ranma's, all the same except from slight
differences in clothing. Also she wasn't being past by a speedy girl on
roller skates who was glomping onto Shampoo.

        "Aiya," Cologne breathed, her grip tightening on her staff.

        Shampoo just fainted, taking Blades down with her.

-----

Author's Notes:
        Well, confusion doesn't reign in Nerima, it pours. With all the double
ups with names, I've had to add a special naming system for, its fully
explained below.
        And Kodachi managed to increase the viewer rating on this part.

A list of Characters:

Ranma-A: The A stands for Akane, as he is "married" to her. This is the
        Ranma from this universe. He has two children, called Ukyo and Ryoga.
Akane: No interesting naming here, she's the one and only Akane. As far
        as we know, this is the Akane that was spirited out of this universe
        with Ranma-A.
Ranma-U: The U stands for Ukyo. This Ranma came from a universe where
        Genma Saotome built a dojo to honor his late friend Soun. Akane and
        Nabiki don't exist, but Kasumi does, as Ranma's adopted sister.
Ukyo-S: Or Ukyo Saotome. The one and only fiancee (as far as we know) of
        Ranma-U. She seems more feminine and doesn't carry a spatula.
Ukyo: The original Ukyo Kounji. She dresses as a boy, carries killer
        kitchen cutlery and is currently trying to get over her love for
        Ranma. Of course, she doesn't yet know about the other Ranmas.
Chibi-Ukyo: Ranma-A and Akane's daughter. Takes after both her parents,
        including Ranma's girl side. Seems to be able to summon a spear
        from nowhere at will.
Ranma-S: Shampoo's Ranma. His history mirrors Ranma-A's except that
        somehow Shampoo-S replaced Akane on their cross-world travels.
Shampoo-S: Managing to be the girl to share a letter with her "husband".
        She and Ranma-S have a single child (as yet unnamed, any suggestions?).
        Also, she doesn't have Shampoo's accent.
Shampoo: The sounds-like-a-bimbo amazon. Rejected by Ranma and no longer
        supported by her grandmother, she still chases after Ranma. Mousse
        is also still after her, and she's gained another admirer in the form
        of the world traveller Blades.

-----------
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz         katsuhito@planetjurai.com
"Die-cast construction, it's a lost art." 
     - Optimus Primal, Beast Wars.