Hey Alan,

Woohoo!  Been waiting for this chapter for a couple 
months now.  And now it's kept me up until 3:45am
finishing it.  Guess I should'a started well before
1am...

Spoiler warning! This short little bit o'C&C contains
many spoilers from the actual fic.  Don't read unless
you've read the fic.


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He rode upon the back of the dragon from the caverns

Oi, it's been too long since I read the last chapter, I 
don't remember this bit�

Was absolutely _everybody_ Ranma had every met 
going to show up?

Well, the water chucking lady wanted to come but she had 
to get her hip grafted. . .

Kuno, though blind, moved.  As though he could see, see it
all, he stepped forward, into the arc of Konatsu's swing, and 

I'm not so sure how well the 'see it all' bit works.  Maybe
lose the 'see it' and just go- As though he could see it all

And then Yamiko pressed down and drew her finger across, and
Nabiki died.

Erk.  Think it's temporary? Also suggest:
pressed down, drew her fingers across, 

First the dragon.

Herb too?  Almost seems too much, too fast, but you do 
only have one more chapter with which to wrap things up.

 . . .

And now Kuno and Konatsu. . .

If this turn out to be a really belated April Fools fic,
I'm gonna hunt you down and do eveel deeds to your person,
Alan.

"But a living soul must bear the note.  Shall you blow the
Horn?"

The wheel turns, ages come and go and Nabiki is reborn as
a young lad called Matrim Cauthon.

Ranma put down the Gekkaja, and picked up the staff.

You don't need the comma.

Not all that dies stays dead.

Figured a line like that would pop up with all the death
that's been goin' on.

With a joyous, disbelieving cry, Wiyeed looked up and cried
out, "The king lives!".

Don't need the period.

The white feathers burned away in seconds, until only the 
skeletal quill remained, and soon that too was gone.

The quill would melt almost as fast as the feathery bit. . .
It is not bone or even cartilage.  Feels more like hard 
plastic.

This was the Joketsuzoku's, way the quick flame of the 
funeral pyre and the offering to the water.

Move the comma so it follows way.

The girl had been two years younger, and she hadn't known 
her well, but she had seen her fall and die to an enemy spear.

Don't think you need the first comma.

It would be a lean, hard winter, that was soon to come.

Don't need the second comma.  If anything, it could follow
hard.

"<I don't know.  It goes somewhere when I don't need it.>"

Horsey-space.

He flicked the reins once, and the horse canted into the air
as if ascending a gentle slope.

I know canter is between trot and gallop, but what's canted?

Cologne knelt, and picked up a handful of pulverized rock, the 
grains no bigger than the finest sand.

If you want to keep the first comma, I'd lose the 'and' that
immediately follows.

The Jusen River that ran between Jusendo and the former site of
Jusenkyou was gone.  And so was Samofere.

Their connection being readily apparent to all. . .  ;>

Cologne knelt by the barren river bank, and quietly wept.

Hm, lose the comma. . .I'd say change it bank, quietly weeping.
but I think the tenses get screwed up that way.

If he spoke, it would break the spell of his presence - let
her move, question, respond.

Should the 'he' be 'she'?

END OF CHAPTER 39

Please sir, I'd like some more.  Well worth the wait, though
I'd rather not if I don't have to. :)  Many deaths and most
of the ones we like reborn anew...

Ranma is...the new Phoenix?  Akane will carry his love child?
Ryoga will become an advocate for polygamy? Can't wait to see
how you wrap everything up though I will be saddened by the
end of the story.

As you noticed, I was sort of having a problem with comma use
this time around.  There were actually a few more places that
I thought about mentioning but didn't because it felt like I
was getting repetative, and I wasn't always sure if I was right.

Anywho, MORE MORE MORE MUST HAVE MORE. =D


Keep up the excellent work boyo,
Warr






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[I]n society, as in nature, the structure is continuous, and
we can trace things back interruptedly, until we dimly
perceive the Declaration of Independence in the forests of
Germany.

-Lord Acton, A Lecture on the Study of History, 1895


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