At 09:56 AM 10/6/99 -0800, Warr wrote:
Hey Alan,
Woohoo! Been waiting for this chapter for a couple
months now. And now it's kept me up until 3:45am
finishing it. Guess I should'a started well before
1am...
Well, I don't think I sent it out much before about 11:30 pm, so you
couldn't have started on it _much_ earlier than 1 am. :)
Spoiler warning! This short little bit o'C&C contains
many spoilers from the actual fic. Don't read unless
you've read the fic.
Hmm. Good thing I've read the fic, then. ;)
As usual, I snipped any grammar/spelling corrections that I didn't have
specific replies too.
He rode upon the back of the dragon from the caverns
Oi, it's been too long since I read the last chapter, I
don't remember this bit�
Well, it was never an explicit scene in Chapter 38. The final scene saw
Jusendo destroyed by a gigantic Hiryuu Shouten Ha, and the dragon rising
from it only to fall to the earth. The observers are too far to notice
Ranma on its back.
Kuno, though blind, moved. As though he could see, see it
all, he stepped forward, into the arc of Konatsu's swing, and
I'm not so sure how well the 'see it all' bit works. Maybe
lose the 'see it' and just go- As though he could see it all
Yeah, that is better. Will change.
If this turn out to be a really belated April Fools fic,
I'm gonna hunt you down and do eveel deeds to your person,
Alan.
No, no. The April Fools ending is the one where Ranma wakes up, and the
whole series has been a dream. Than Akane reminds him that he gay... and
the story continues in Matt Lewis's "A Man's Man"...
"But a living soul must bear the note. Shall you blow the
Horn?"
The wheel turns, ages come and go and Nabiki is reborn as
a young lad called Matrim Cauthon.
Yes, and WUE suddenly reveals itself to be another Ranma/WoT fic... not.
The white feathers burned away in seconds, until only the
skeletal quill remained, and soon that too was gone.
The quill would melt almost as fast as the feathery bit. . .
It is not bone or even cartilage. Feels more like hard
plastic.
Yes. And Nabiki's body shouldn't be unmarked in the middle of a fire. :)
He flicked the reins once, and the horse canted into the air
as if ascending a gentle slope.
I know canter is between trot and gallop, but what's canted?
In this case, it's a verb indicating the taking of an inclined position...
I chose it because of the suggestion of rising into the air, and for the
similiarity to "cantered".
If he spoke, it would break the spell of his presence - let
her move, question, respond.
Should the 'he' be 'she'?
Nope.
Please sir, I'd like some more. Well worth the wait, though
I'd rather not if I don't have to. :) Many deaths and most
of the ones we like reborn anew...
I'm really hoping to have Chapter 40 out as soon as possible, or at least
quicker than the four months it took for Chapter 39...
Ranma is...the new Phoenix? Akane will carry his love child?
Ryoga will become an advocate for polygamy? Can't wait to see
how you wrap everything up though I will be saddened by the
end of the story.
I think that's one of the reasons that these last few chapters have taken
more so long... I too am sad to be conclude a project that's taken up
nearly two years of my life.
(Of course, after I finish Chapter 40, I get to revise the remaining 18
chapters for RAAC. Wheeh. -.-)
As you noticed, I was sort of having a problem with comma use
this time around. There were actually a few more places that
I thought about mentioning but didn't because it felt like I
was getting repetative, and I wasn't always sure if I was right.
I think a lot of what you suggested was stylistic rather than grammatical,
though. I'll look carefully at the comma use and decide what looks best.
Anywho, MORE MORE MORE MUST HAVE MORE. =D
Yeah, I get the idea. :)
Thanks very much for the commentary, Warr. I hope I'll have Chapter 40 out
soon!
Ciao,
-Alan Harnum