Black Rose, Blue Thunder:
An Altered Destiny
By: Dreiser
Chapter Thirteen:
Perverts Just Want To Have Fun
"We have to find out the relationship they had."
At this statement, all gathered in the sitting room gave a
solemn nod while exchanging serious looks. It was early in the
morning, far before they had to go to school for the day and
they were busy conversing about all the various worries they
had about Kodachi's past and current relationship with the
Kung Fu star, Kuonji Ukyo.
Well, everyone except Ranma.
"I think you're all nuts," said Ranma with a snort. "Why
do you even care what sorta relationship Dachi had with
Ucchan? It's none of our business and whatever it was, it's
obviously over with." Ranma paused to smirk, "And she's got a
new man who's oh so much better."
"That's up for debate," said Tatewaki dryly. "As for
why we're interested in my sister's romantic past it's very
simple. Unlike you, Saotome, some of us care for her welfare.
Who knows what Kuonji might to do Kodachi's delicate
sensitivities now that he's returned to her life."
"I don't believe you, Ranma," said Nabiki. "You're
telling me that you don't care what relationship Kodachi had
with Ukyo and might end up having again?"
"That's the past," Ranma scoffed as he wore a face of
disinterest and looked out at the koi pond. "And I never was
very interested in learning about ancient history."
"Whatever you say," Nabiki said in droll tones. "But I'm
still concerned. Was it just me or did Ukyo look terrified to see
Dachi?"
Simultaneously, everyone paused to think about this
before they said, "He looked terrified."
Looking satisfied at this, Nabiki turned to Ryoga and
said, "What about you, Ryoga-kun? What kind of relationship
do you think they had?"
Blushing a bit at Nabiki's attention, Ryoga recalled
Ukyo's smooth and charming behavior around Nabiki and
twitched. He then said slowly, "I think they both dated and
Kuonji still isn't over Dachi yet."
"But didn't Kuonji speak of another girl with whom he
was in love?" murmured Tatewaki. "It's possible that he broke
up with my sister to date her and perhaps Kodachi did not take
the news of this very well..."
"You know," said Nabiki thoughtfully. "That almost
makes sense. It certainly explains why he wasn't happy to see
her. What do you think, Ranma?"
When Nabiki turned to where Ranma had been sitting
she was met with an empty space.
Smiling at this, Nabiki said, "Nice try, Ranma-kun. You
don't care about Dachi's past at all, huh?"
It's true that con artists are expert liars amongst other
things but there is one thing even the most talented of con men
can never lie about.
And that's feelings of the heart. Particularly, when that
feeling just happens to be love.
Love was something that Ranma found himself deeply
entrenched in when it came to Kodachi.
Which is precisely why he just left to find her.
---
"You," Cologne said as her eyes narrowed by a rather
dangerous notch. "What are you doing here?"
"You know," said Siren with an easy smile and a toss of
her blonde head. "From all these less than ecstatic greetings I'm
getting I'm starting to think that people aren't happy to see me.
It's all very troubling."
"Siren," began Cologne in warning tones. "What are
you doing here? I demand that you tell me."
"You demand?" asked Siren as she quirked an
eyebrow. "You certainly haven't gotten less imperious,
Cologne, but you're still looking ever the Elder. Tell me,"
Siren's smile widened. "Why do you persist in denying your
heritage just to fit in? It's so very unlike you."
Hearing this, Cologne's eyes blazed fire and she said in
low dangerous tones, "That's none of your--"
"Grandma Siren!"
Siren barely had time to take in Shampoo's bubbly
frame before the lavender haired Amazon pounced on her for a
tight hug.
"What is you doing here, Grandma Siren?" exclaimed
Shampoo. "Shampoo haven't seen you for two years and now
you showing up in Nerima? What is for?"
Smiling at Shampoo's exuberant nature, Siren gave the
girl a gentle hug back before she pulled away from her and
cupped Shampoo's cheek tenderly.
"Well, now," said Siren softly as she pushed some
loose tendrils of hair out of Shampoo's eyes. "Aren't you the
picture of a perfect Amazon Champion? You look beautiful as
ever, Shampoo. And to answer your question I'm here to train
Tendo Kasumi as a Mage."
"Aiyaah," said Shampoo with wide eyes. "That very big
and important job for Kasumi." Her gaze then narrowed a bit
and she said, "Why Perfume not telling Shampoo about such
big news?"
"I don't know," said Siren humorously. "Perhaps you
should go and ask her, Shampoo dear?"
"Good idea," said Shampoo in grim tones. She then
turned on her heel and shouted, "Perfume Cousin! You no get
away with keeping secrets from Shampoo!"
"Don't waste too much time," Cologne said. "You're
going back to school today, remember?"
"Shampoo remember!" called Shampoo as she dashed
up the stairs and towards the room she shared with Perfume.
When Shampoo left the room Cologne turned to face
Siren and said, "How did you manage to convince the tribal
Elders to allow you to train Kasumi as a Mage?"
"It was really quite simple," said Siren with a smirk. "All
I had to do is point out that with Kasumi as my apprentice there
would be one more Mage in the tribe. One more that actually
might listen to them."
"Cleverly played," Cologne murmured. "But as I seem
to recall, Kasumi had her heart set on being a Healer I don't
suppose that you talked her out of that decision?"
"Hardly," Siren replied in dry tones. "I simply explained
the abilities that she would have as a Mage and she immediately
accepted my offer. That's all."
"Right," said Cologne skeptically. "Then why do I find
myself not believing a word you say?"
"I'm sure I don't know," said Siren smoothly. "Force of
habit, perhaps?" She paused to study Cologne more closely
then said with a serious expression, "I'm not doing this on a
whim, Cologne. I need an heir. Someone to continue the
tradition of magic in both the tribe and in my family. Kasumi is
my only option. Not only that, the girl has a hidden strength
about her. There's a fire inside of her that's just waiting to get
out. And it would be in our best interest if we were the ones to
feed that flame."
"I know," said Cologne with a sigh. "Kasumi holds
great potential. We must watch her closely."
Forming a teasing expression, Siren quirked a blonde
eyebrow then said, "We is it?"
"Oh, shut up," said Cologne rather grouchily as she
turned on her staff and hopped out of the room. "I'm not a fool,
Siren. I know when to fight and when to withdraw. I won't
contest you on this but I will be watching you."
"Good," Siren called in sensuous tones. "I've always
enjoyed being watched by pretty women."
At this, Cologne snorted before she hopped out of the
room entirely to leave Siren standing alone.
Still smiling, Siren's blue eyes narrowed and the smile
faded as she murmured, "Why you persist in keeping up this
charade is beyond me, Cologne. But at least while I'm here I
can have my usual fun irritating you."
"Oh yes," said Siren with a chuckle as she strolled out
of the building and onto the busy street. "I'm already starting to
like the idea of living here. This should prove to be a very
interesting experience."
At that moment, Siren didn't know just how much of an
understatement that would prove to be.
---
Standing on the far side of the dojo rooftop Ranma
gazed at Kodachi's trim figure. She was gazing off into the
horizon and the way the sun danced off her figure gave her an
almost angelic glow.
Despite what many would call a less than innocent past
and a definite habit of doing things illegal in nature, he still
thought Kodachi to be an angel in many ways.
She was so kind to him... kinder than anyone else he
knew. And she understood him so well, never punishing him for
his mistakes, and never taking away her love.
Now Ranma was a confident guy. He had been raised
to be that way by his mother and his mom helped enforce that
confidence in him as well. Not to mention his father and
brother. In fact, Ranma's entire family was a huge boost to his
confidence levels.
They helped make him into who he was today.
But still, more credit should be given to Kodachi
because before her Ranma never truly felt understood. He felt
loved before. Even appreciated and admired but never had he
met anyone who understood him like Kodachi.
It was like that word Akane was always using, the one
in her shojoai mangas, they were soulmates.
Yeah, soulmates. That's what they were.
And since he felt they were soulmates Ranma really
never got jealous when Kodachi would flirt with other guys or
girls. That's because he knew she would always come back to
him. Because he was the only one that she loved. Because he
was her soulmate.
But that was before.
That was before he showed up.
Before Kuonji Ukyo came back into their lives.
Ranma had always liked Ukyo, or Ucchan as he often
called him, but he didn't like this relationship that his old friend
seemed to have with Kodachi.
It was obvious to see that Ukyo wasn't happy to see
Kodachi again. That much was clear. But what about Kodachi?
What was her reaction?
That was a much tougher thing to answer. It seemed to
be amusement and a sort of hidden longing in her gaze. Ranma
could recall watching those violet eyes soften when she looked
at Ukyo. Soften in a way that he thought had been purely meant
for him and him alone.
The sight of it was enough to make Ranma want to
resort to his baser instincts, like his brother did so often, and go
to his former friend then beat him within an inch of his life.
So what was stopping him?
Ukyo's reaction. Plain and simple.
Ukyo hadn't seemed happy to see Kodachi. Ukyo
seemed terrified. That meant he had no interest in her and that
meant he was no threat to Ranma's relationship.
Plus there was the fact that Ranma knew deep in his
heart that Kodachi would never cheat on him.
He also knew that he was twice as sexy as Ukyo and
made a far better catch for Kodachi.
So if he knew all this then why was he standing here?
Why did he feel so unsure? So... nervous?
"Ranma darling, I know that you must appreciate the
view of both my backside and of nature's splendor but how
long do you intend to stand there?"
"Heh," Ranma chuckled a bit nervously as he scratched
his cheek in an embarrassed gesture. Walking forward, he
paused to stand next to where Kodachi was sitting on the edge
of the rooftop.
"Darling," said Kodachi, her violet eyes betraying an
obvious concern. "Is something troubling you?"
"Sort of," admitted Ranma. He paused to look at her
for a moment then making a silent decision, he sat next to her
on the rooftop. "I was just wondering... what kinda relationship
did you have with Ucchan? Did you go out?"
Gaining a look of sudden understanding, Kodachi
smiled softly before she looked back into the horizon. "We
were never a romantic couple. Do you recall our shock on
finding that we knew of each other's first paramours?"
"Hell yeah," said Ranma with an amused chuckle. "It
had us laughing about it for days. Especially since they ended
up as a couple and so did we. It seemed like fate."
"Indeed," Kodachi said in warm tones as she smiled
affectionately at Ranma. "Well, before I met you I hadn't quite
gotten over my first love. That's when I found myself in Kyoto
where I met Ukyo-kun." She paused to shake her head in
humor. "I suppose the most accurate way to describe our
relationship is one-sided. He was my outlet for all my hurt
feelings from my fallen relationship. I was rebounding when I
met him. I fixated on Ukyo-kun and began pursuing him
aggressively. Particularly after he continued to turn me down."
"But why did he turn you down?" asked Ranma in
puzzlement. "Ucchan seems like a smart enough guy to be able
to spot a real catch when he sees one."
Turning to look at Ranma, she formed a slow smile as
she lightly caressed his hand which she held in her own.
"Ranma," said Kodachi in the softest of sighs. "You really are
terribly sweet, do you know that?"
Blinking in slight confusion, Ranma finally formed an
easy smile then said, "Only when I'm with you, Dachi."
"Touche," Kodachi murmured. "But to answer your
question, the reason Ukyo-kun was not as enamored with me
as I was with him was because he already had a girl that he
loved. Some tall Amazon like creature always wearing her hair
in a ponytail." She frowned then touched her own dark hair that
was free flowing down her back and looking quite beautiful. "I
know I sometimes like to wear my hair in that style, but all the
time? Really, that's quite boring, don't you think? It's so--"
"Dachi," Ranma interrupted as he coughed. "What
about Ucchan and the tall Amazon chick?"
"Ah, yes, them," said Kodachi as she tinged slightly. "I
was very jealous of her... I saw her as my only obstruction to
having Ukyo-kun as my own. So I set up a rather... implicating
situation and allowed her to see it."
His cobalt eyes growing lidded, Ranma studied the
suddenly nervous figure of his girlfriend then asked, "What did
you do, Dachi?"
"I blindfolded Ukyo-kun, let him think I was his
beloved, then tried to seduce him in the girls locker room," said
Kodachi who was blushing by this time.
"And his girlfriend saw all of this?" asked Ranma.
"Well, yes and no," said Kodachi. "When she entered
the room, as I planned since I had sent her an anonymous note
asking her to be on the premises at a certain time, I immediately
took off the blindfold that Ukyo-kun was wearing. This made it
look like we were both participating in a very mutual form of
affection."
There was a long moment of pause as Kodachi looked
at Ranma and said, "It was one of the few things that I truly
regret doing now that I look back on it."
Contemplating all this, Ranma said, "So that broke up
Ukyo and his girlfriend but he still didn't like you. Then you
skipped town and ended up meeting me." He paused to look at
Kodachi then asked, "But how in the heck did you help Ucchan
to become a Kung Fu star then?"
"Quite easily, actually," said Kodachi. "I made a large
profit by selling photos of Ukyo-kun to the many girls at the
school who had crushes on him. On one such occasion the mob
of girls was chasing him down the street, myself following at a
safe distance, and when they did so they happened to run past
a rather influential movie agent. He stopped me when I ran past
and asked who Ukyo-kun was. I gave him all of the necessary
information before I left town. The rest is history."
"Huh," said Ranma slowly as he looked into the
horizon. After a long moment of silence, he met Kodachi's gaze
then said, "No offense or anything, Dachi, but I think I have a
pretty good idea why Ucchan doesn't like you."
"Yes," Kodachi said with a sigh. "I do admit to being a
pain in his backside for most of our acquaintance."
"And you're planning on being a pain again by
representing Nabchan," said Ranma. "How come?"
"Because," said Kodachi as she smiled. "Whether he
likes it or not, Ukyo-kun is meant to deal with me. And what's
so wrong with me being able to profit from this?"
Chuckling at this, Ranma cupped Kodachi's chin lightly
in his hand and murmured, "You're a sly one, aren't you?"
"Naturally," Kodachi purred. "That's why you love me."
Instead of replying, Ranma moved forward to meet
their lips for yet another one of their passionate kisses.
Some people are simply meant to be together.
---
"Honestly, Ucchan. Why can't you just beat him up and
get it over with? What's the point in dragging it out?"
On hearing this, Ukyo drew his gaze away from the
window of the limousine they were traveling in, to look at
Tsubasa who wore a curious expression on his features.
Flashing his patented lady killer smile, Ukyo said, "For
one very simple reason, Basa. It's too damn easy. I want to
make Ryoga suffer just like I have for the past ten years."
"This is bad for your karma," Tsubasa said. "It's going
to come back and bite you in--"
"The ass, yeah, yeah, I know," said Ukyo in dismissive
tones as he waved his hand. "You already gave me this speech
a million times before, Basa."
"Fine," said Tsubasa huffily. He studied Ukyo for a
moment then sighed and said, "No offense, but I still don't get
it, Ucchan. Wouldn't beating him up be more fun? It would be a
lot better for your karma too, you know."
"Maybe," Ukyo admitted. He paused to meet
Tsubasa's blue eyes then asked quietly, "Didn't you see how he
looked at her?"
"How who looked at who?" asked Tsubasa in honest
confusion. "What are you talking about now?"
Rolling his eyes, Ukyo shook his head then said, "I'm
talking about Ryoga and this so called iinazuke of his. I saw
how he looked at her. He likes her, he likes her a lot, part of
me thinks that he might even love her."
"And this is important why?" prompted Tsubasa.
"It's important because of how she acted around me,"
supplied Ukyo as he smiled at the thought. "I can find a fan at a
mile away and she's definitely a fan. Because of that I've found
the key element for my revenge on Ryoga."
His blue eyes widening in sudden realization, Tsubasa
said, "You don't mean that you're going to--"
"Seduce Tendo Nabiki," Ukyo finished as he formed a
slow and dangerous smile. "I'm going to steal away the woman
that he loves and show him the true meaning of having your
heart broken and your world destroyed."
After saying this, the limousine stopped in front of
Furinkan High school and Ukyo exited it with his usual ease to
leave Tsubasa sitting alone in stunned silence.
"Well," said Tsubasa to himself as he stepped out of the
limousine and into the daylight. "This should prove to be an
interesting first day of school."
When Ukyo told him of his intentions to go back to
school, Tsubasa volunteered to register with him so his friend
wouldn't be alone. Tsubasa did this out of loyalty to his friend
and a desire to want to help Ukyo in any way.
But when he agreed to attend school with Ukyo, he
didn't know what his friend was planning.
Tsubasa was a big believer in karma and he saw the
bad things people did come back to bite them in the ass more
than once in his lifetime. Hence his tendency to often say this
statement and remind people of karma's power.
And his belief in karma was precisely why he was so
determined to keep an eye on Ukyo. Who knows what sort of
karmic damage Ukyo might do if Tsubasa wasn't around to
wean him away from his more harsh plans?
So in agreeing to attend high school again, Tsubasa had
thought about a good many things but the one thing he hadn't
thought about was the one thing that would serve in distracting
him from his original mission.
He didn't think about the fact that Furinkan High, like
many other schools, had a large population of pretty girls. All of
which knew of him and found him more than a little bit
attractive.
Since Tsubasa's dating habits being worse than Ukyo's
flirting habits, it's safe to say that this development made him an
extremely happy guy.
This meant all that Ukyo didn't find himself confronted
by another one of Tsubasa's infamous speeches on karma.
Lucky him, huh?
---
The impossible had happened.
Akane, for the first time in years, didn't find herself
enjoying the morning run with all of her teammates for the girls
basketball and soccer teams.
Normally the morning run was one of Akane's favorite
things to do with her teammates because of how it helped her
clear her mind and be at ease.
When she ran with all of them they became of one clear
mind and body and she could feel the synchronization they
needed on the court and the field to play their sports growing as
they continued on.
But today Akane simply couldn't clear her mind.
A truly baffling problem, isn't it?
Then again, Akane had a very good reason for not
being able to clear her mind.
And what was this very good reason?
Chocolate, plain and simple.
Or as the Chocoholics liked to say, "Sweet and tasty."
Either way, she was the reason why Akane couldn't clear her
mind of thoughts.
She didn't know why, but Akane couldn't stop herself
from thinking about Chocolate. Every waking instant of the day
she found herself occupied by thoughts of the girl who had
completely stolen away her heart.
One of the things that Akane couldn't stop thinking
about was how Chocolate had the bad habit of suddenly
disappearing on her for no apparent reason. Yesterday she had
tried several times to introduce her to Shampoo and Tatewaki
amongst other people and whenever she did, the girl would just
up and vanish leaving Akane alone.
Alone and feeling quite frustrated.
What made it worse was the fact that since yesterday
afternoon and their session with the Doctor, Akane hadn't seen
hide nor hair of Chocolate. It almost felt like the other girl was
avoiding her.
Was that it? Was Chocolate avoiding her? Was it
possible that maybe, just maybe, Chocolate didn't like Akane
as much as Akane liked her? That it was all a game?
This thought made Akane's eyes tear up a bit and
pausing in her run, she called to her teammates, "I need to take
a cool down. Go on ahead, I'll join you later!"
Her fellow athletes shouted their agreement then moved
on in their run to leave Akane with the rare privacy she
sometimes felt that she needed.
Leaning up against the high brick wall next to her,
Akane tilted her head back and murmured, "Chocolate."
"Yes, Akane?"
Jumping at least five feet into the air with fright, when
Akane fell to the Earth she found herself once again being held
in the arms of the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.
"Chocolate!" exclaimed Akane happily as she wrapped
her arms around the neck of the other girl. "I've missed you so
much! Where have you been?!"
Smiling and wheezing a bit from the strength of Akane's
hug, Chocolate moved to set the athlete down on the ground
but was surprised when Akane didn't release her from the hug.
With a happy sigh, Chocolate relaxed into the embrace and
return it with a gentle squeeze.
"I've been at my hotel," replied Chocolate who was
looking at Akane with earnest teal eyes. "I needed to sort some
things out with the management. Apparently they've had to add
extra security to keep my more exuberant admirers away."
"Oh wow," said Akane with wide eyes. "Did you make
sure they hire from Junko's Bodyguards Etc and not Linlan's
Protect You Tough? Junko is a much better guy to work with
and his bodyguards are so nice."
"We hired Junko," said Chocolate as she rubbed the
back of her head. "In fact, he tried to get me to let one of his
guys trail me around today for extra protection. I told him no
but I keep finding people following me anyway."
Smiling at this, Akane tapped Chocolate on the nose
and said, "Not just bodyguards would follow you. I know that I
would follow you to the ends of the Earth."
Blushing furiously, Chocolate hesitantly reached out to
cup Akane's face in her hands and said, "Thank you for saying
that and for being who you are." She paused to release a
wavering sigh then said, "Akane. I think I'm in--"
It was then that several dozen horrified screams that
seemed to break the sound barrier were heard.
Meeting each other's eyes with alarm, both Akane and
Chocolate took off like a shot for the direction of the screams
only to find something that horrified them more.
Or at least would have horrified Chocolate if she had
been the one to reach the athletes first but since it was Akane
that was hardly the case.
Akane instead stopped to look at the strange creature
glomping onto her fellow athletes in puzzlement.
"Uhm, you guys," Akane said slowly. "What's going on
and what is that weird thing hugging you?"
"Captain!" shrieked one of her teammates. "Get this
thing away from us! It's perverted!"
"Yeah, Captain Akane! Get rid of it!"
"Help us, Akane!"
"Please, Akane-chan, for the love of the Kami!"
The creature ceased in it's assault to turn towards
Akane with glazed eyes and inspecting her head to toe and on
finding her acceptable it cried out, "Sweeeet!!"
There was a very long pause as the creature glomped
onto Akane's chest and all of the athletes were frozen in
anticipation and terror as they waited for the reaction.
That was when Chocolate rounded the corner and on
seeing her, Akane looked up from studying the strange thing
attached to her chest to the girl that she loved.
"Look Chocolate," began Akane. "It's a barnacle."
After hearing this, there was a huge moment of dead
silence as everyone, including the barnacle creature,
sweatdropped at Akane's words.
"Akane," said Chocolate with slow reasoning. "That
isn't a barnacle. They're ocean creatures."
"Oh? Well, it certainly acts like a barnacle," said Akane
as she looked it. "Don't you, Barnacle-chan?"
These words were accompanied by a much shorter
sweatdrop as Chocolate looked to all of the athletes for
support but they merely shrugged in easy acceptance.
Shaking her head, Chocolate thought about attempting
to reason with Akane again but thought better of it. Then she
came to a sudden inspiration.
Chocolate slid closer to Akane and wore her best
sensuous smile then started to leave a trail of kisses on her neck
and when Akane closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of
this, Chocolate produced a large mallet from out of nowhere
and whacked the barnacle creature on the head with it, causing
it to fall to the ground.
Seconds after she did this, the barnacle creature rose to
its feet and the athletes were stunned to see that it wasn't really
a barnacle but rather a dirty old man.
Well, okay, so maybe they weren't so stunned. But
Akane would have been if she hadn't been busy making out
with Chocolate in the middle of the street.
"How dare you remove me from sweet Akane's chest!"
the creature proclaimed. "I'll have you know..."
It trailed off in frustration as it watched Chocolate
completely ignore it, because of her far more interesting pursuits
with Akane.
"Hey there!" it shouted indignantly. "You can't just
ignore me! I'm Master Happosai of the--"
The creature, who was apparently named Happosai,
was cut off as Chocolate abruptly dropped her heavy mallet on
his head so she could place her hands on much more desirable
places on Akane's body.
Dusting himself off, Happosai frowned a bit then
jumped up on the high wall where he could get a good look at
the two girls who were so involved in their make out session.
Forming a slow and definitely wicked smile, Happosai
launched himself at them and cried out, "Sweet!"
That was when Akane and Chocolate found their
making out rudely interrupted by a dirty old man glomping onto
both of their chests simultaneously.
"Sweet!" Happosai cried again. "I'm in heaven being
squished between two such lovely ladies!"
"Oh wow!" exclaimed Akane as she smiled at
Chocolate who was turned red with anger. "Barnacle-chan can
talk! Isn't that neat of him? He must be really special!"
Instead of replying, Chocolate pulled out a mallet even
larger than her last one and swung at Happosai who merely
lifted his finger to send the mallet flying into the air.
Blinking at this, Chocolate formed a scowl then
demanded, "How did you do that?! Who are you?!"
"I told you," said Happosai with an easy smile. "I'm
Happosai of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."
"Anything Goes?" echoed Akane and Chocolate.
A moment of silence passed then Akane clapped her
hands together and exclaimed, "You must know my dad! My
name is Tendo Akane and he's Tendo Soun."
"I know," Happosai said. "I guessed that when all of the
lovely ladies shouted out your name, Akane."
"Really? Neat!" said Akane happily. She hooked her
arm in Chocolate's then leaned on her as she said, "So are you
here to visit with my dad and Ojisama Saotome?"
"Eh? So Genma is here as well?" asked Happosai in
certain surprise.
"You bet!" said Akane with a nod. "He's been here for
awhile with his sons, Ranma and Ryoga."
"And his pretty wives too?" asked Happosai as his eyes
gained an eager gleam. "I have missed those two little spitfires.
Even if they did make mischief for me."
"No," Akane said slowly. "I don't remember meeting
any wives of Ojisama Saotome's so far."
"A shame," said Happosai with a sigh. He then looked
at Chocolate's ample frame and formed a very lecherous
expression as he said, "But at least I have worthy replacements
with you two around. Swe--!"
Happosai got cut off from trying to glomp onto
Chocolate when she produced gigantic metal mallet out of
nowhere and whacked him hard on the head with it.
It was just the start in a long series of assaults that
Happosai would have to deal with when it came to her.
Too bad for Chocolate that when it came to a lady as
pretty as she was Happosai would endure any assault for just a
chance of being able to steal a quick feel from her.
So began the continuous assault of Chocolate and
various other pretty girls in the Nerima distract.
And all who knew of Happosai could only shudder in
sympathy at their plight.
---
Ryoga was angry.
He glared at the figure of Kuonji Ukyo who was
wearing his usual charming smile and felt himself seething
inwardly at it.
This was because Ukyo was currently holding Nabiki's
hand in his own and lightly kissing the top of it.
Stomping over to Nabiki's side, Ryoga tried to touch
her waist to pull her closer to him and away from Ukyo but he
found himself too nervous to move. What if Nabiki yelled at
him for touching her? Or even worse, what if she got disgusted
at his touch? He didn't think he could deal with that sort of
rejection from her.
As if sensing his dilemma, Ukyo lifted his head and met
Ryoga's eyes as he formed another smile. "Ryoga," he said in
his smooth drawl. "What are you doing there, hm?"
Narrowing his eyes, Ryoga said tightly, "Nothing. I just
wanted to remind Nabiki that school's about to start and we
don't want to be late for our first class."
"What an incredible coincidence," said Ukyo with a
smile. "I was just about to tell Nabiki that I've decided to enroll
in school here so we might become closer. Because after all,"
Ukyo paused to wink at Nabiki who blushed at this. "Co-stars,
especially of the romantic kind, should always be good friends
before they start filming."
"You're going to school here?" asked Ryoga as his eyes
went wide in certain horror.
"Yup," said Ukyo as he tilted his head to one side and
eyed Ryoga's discomfort with some amusement. "Me and Basa
decided it would be a good idea. Plus, it'll be a nice change to
be somewhere more normal than a movie set."
Before Ryoga or Nabiki could reply to this, a huge
crowd of athletes that was led by Akane and a drop dead
gorgeous girl who was holding her in her arms, ran across the
campus screaming as a small creature pursued them while it
continuously shouted, "Come back pretty ladies! Come back
and let me glomp onto you!"
Sweatdropping at this, Ryoga looked at the shocked
Ukyo and said rather drolly, "You were saying?"
"Oh, well," said Ukyo who recovered from his shock
very quickly. "This school still has things that makes me drawn
to it. Very charming and pretty things."
As he said this, Ukyo looked at Nabiki meaningfully
and flashed her another heartbreaker smile that caused her to
blush from head to toe on seeing it.
"Well, now. If this isn't the oddest threesome that I've
ever witnessed I'm not sure what would be."
Turning his head, Ukyo screamed when he saw the
figure of Kodachi standing in front of them with Ranma.
"Jeez, Ucchan," said Ranma as he winced. "I know you
and Dachi don't get along but do you gotta do that each time
you see her? It's sorta extreme, dontcha think?"
"He merely wants attention, darling," Kodachi purred
as she leaned against Ranma who smiled at her. "But fear not,
my dear Ukyo-kun, I'm here for Nabiki dearest and not for
your far too handsome figure."
"Dachi?" asked Nabiki in confusion as she quickly
found herself escorted away from Ryoga and Ukyo by the
couple as they walked across the campus.
This left Ryoga and Ukyo alone.
Not a very safe situation for either one of them.
"Kuonji," said Ryoga in a growl after a moment. "What
do you think you're doing flirting with Nabiki-chan? She's my
iinazuke. You shouldn't do things like that!"
"Iinazuke does not a wife make," replied Ukyo with an
easy drawl and a smirk. "I think Nabiki is quite the catch and as
such I won't let a clod like you have her just because she was
unfortunate enough to be engaged to you."
Scowling at this, Ryoga looked at Ukyo with honest
confusion and asked, "Why are you doing this? I thought that
we were friends, Ukyo."
At this statement, Ukyo's eyes darkened and he
seemed to grow very tense before he said, "If you don't know
I'm not about to tell you, Ryoga. But it's like my Poppa once
said, 'There's nothing dishonorable about taking a honorable
lady away from a dishonorable man.'"
"Who's dishonorable?!" Ryoga growled in low and
dangerous tones. "And you'll take Nabiki-chan away from me
when pigs fly, Kuonji! She's the girl that I--"
Ryoga suddenly paused in his speech to look up with
wide eyes and following his gaze, Ukyo could only stare in
shock at the form of a big fat flying pig floating over them
holding a lunch bag in its mouth.
Then after a moment, Ukyo's shock was replaced with
a smirk. Because it seemed that even the Kami were on his side
when it came to this particular mission.
"Dad!" Ryoga wailed as he angrily waved his fists
around at the flying pig. "What are you doing?! Don't you know
that you just jinxed me now?!"
The flying pig flew to meet Ryoga's eye level and then
dropped the lunch bag at his feet. After it did this, the pig
squealed indignantly at Ryoga.
"You don't understand, Dad!" Ryoga cried. "You just
totally screwed up my speech! Why couldn't you have come to
school in your human form, huh?!"
For a response the flying pig merely squealed again and
caused Ryoga to grow even more frustrated.
While Ukyo watched this in certain amusement, he
found his eyes drawn elsewhere when out nowhere the girl with
purple hair he met yesterday appeared chasing a small bulbous
light that was making bell like sounds at her.
And behind them was Tatewaki, whom Ukyo still felt a
tad nervous around due to the uneasy ending of their duel. An
ending which had come about because of a mass mobbing of all
Ukyo's fans once they recognized just who was dueling on the
street and in various restaurants across Nerima.
But as Ukyo watched Ryoga shout at the flying pig,
Shampoo and Tatewaki chase the tinkling ball of light, and
Akane's crowd of athletes flee from the dirty old man, he felt
strangely at home.
Because this was just as crazy as any movie set.
To be continued...
All characters in this fanfiction are from Ranma 1/2. This fanfic
was inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi but the
craziness behind it is purely my own. I'd like to thank Jim
Robert Bader, Red Death, and my brother Patrick for listening
to my goofy ideas. Also special thanks to Wade Tritschler for
allowing me to be a part of his Altered Destinies project.
For the love of kawaii Akane! Send me comments at:
Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780
Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm
For previous chapters of BRBT visit Altered Destinies at:
http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/249/index.ht
m
Next up: Happy is introduced to the entire gang and as this
happens, one of the many that he's wronged makes his way
towards Nerima for revenge on the Demon Master.
"She can violate my rights!"
-Brock; Pokemon-
To protect the list from canon fanfics,
To entertain everyone with wacky quips,
To create alternate realities unearthly ease,
To make bad puns and plots involving Slurpees,
Team Dreiser spews out all kinds of tripe!
Surrender now, and prepare to say cripes!