"Blue Without You"
A fic by Kevin "Kionon" Callahan
Chapter 1
This is blatantly Self-Insertion, that's the point. It does many, many
things. It's a SI parody, but not without it's romantic and tender and even
dark moments. I'm hoping for a winner with this combination, as surprising
as that may seem. Oh and yes, this does require a working knowledge of SM
to be appreciated.
This fic is rated PG.
Next, who to thank: Me, Devin De Gruyl, Sean Gaffney, as well as *deep
breath* Louis Armstrong, Fats Weller, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Benny
Goodman, Billie Holiday, Charlie Parker, the Thelonious Monk Quintet,
Dizzy Gillespie, the Art Blakey quintet, the Miles Davis Quintet, the one
and only John Coltrane, Ornette Coleman, and KFC promoter himself, Charles
Mingus, all whose music was played constantly during the production of
this.
Now onto the SI :P
_-_-_
They looked into each other's deep eyes, something was drawing them
close to another. The couldn't evade it, they couldn't fight it, but then they
didn't feel the need to fight it. It was a warming effect. Kevin reached over
to pull Ami closer and...
* * *
"Dammit," Kevin cursed as he tried once more to write that scene. He
just couldn't make himself do it. Could he really claim that author-insertion
was his forte if he couldn't even write a simple kiss scene between him and
Ami Mizuno? Maybe it was the true servant feeling in him. He couldn't do
anything that might hurt Ami in either the short or the long run. Some self-
insert he turned out to be.
Slamming the keyboard back into the desk he made for his bed. No work
would be done tonight. This roadblock had been hounding him ever since he
started the "Blue Without You" series. It was hailed by some to be the worst
piece of crap to ever be written, while others said it was true genius. Who
truly knew what it was? 'It won't be finished,' thought Kevin sardonically.
How could he truly finish it? Kill himself right before the kiss?
That had been tossed around with his fanfic buddies, but he ultimately
rejected it. Hmm maybe the next time he could have himself captured and...
that still wouldn't give Mercury a reason to get romantically involved with him,
just how was he going to do this anyway? It seemed impossible. Impossible.
Impossible.
That was his last thoughts as he fell asleep.
* * *
Sunlight shone bright in Kevin's eyes as it flitered through the
shades. It fell on him, striping him to himself. The light was what woke him,
but there was more to attract his attention than that fact.
The first thing Kevin noticed when he woke up the next morning was
that he was cold. The second thing was that his back hurt. Third thing he
noticed was the first two things were cause by him lying on the floor. The
fourth thing was truly what captured his attention. A dark haired girl lay
in his bed, surrounded by his covers. He slapped himself in order to make
sure he was awake. It started stinging immediately, much to his temporary
relief.
However, that action had no effect on the sleeping girl who now lay in
his bed. Kevin wasn't stupid, and although he wouldn't allow himself to believe
his reasoning, he knew the girl in his bed could only be Her. Ami Mizuno. The
Blue Haired Goddess. What did he need a fanfic for? Thoughts of ditching the
whole "Blue Without You" project occurred to him.
He had to slap himself once more to calm himself down. This couldn't
be happening, not in real life anyway. It just wasn't possible. Maybe this...
Maybe this was Kelly, his cousin. She had Ami's looks... kinda... 'Yea, that's
it, must be. My parents must have told her to go to guestroom when she came
over because... she was drinking and didn't want to call her own parents..'
Kevin calculated in his mind, but his thoughts on the matter hadn't the ring
of personal truth that the possibility of Ami Mizuno's presence had.
After he had accepted that fact his mind switched to the fact that
he had driving school this morning, and checked the clock. 8:45, his mother
would be in to wake him up any moment. Debating whether or not to wake Ami was
not an option. His mother would ask no questions if she found a girl in his
room, sleeping in his bed no less, she would just kill him. She had said as
much too. He reached over and gently shook the sleeping embodiment of
cuteness.
She stirred, yawned and looked up into his face. Then she screamed.
Giving no explanation, he opened the closet, pulled her out of the bed and
pushed her in, telling her over and over in Japanese to remain perfectly quiet
and he would explain later. Placing a tac on the floor as supposed evidence he
awaited his mother's arrival.
She came as expected, in 2 minutes flat. After, Kevin explained that
he had gotten up and stepped on a tac accidentally, thereby screaming. He had
a high voice and his mother believed him. "Honestly, Kevin, you could tolerate
pain just a little better, couldn't you?" she sighed and walked out.
"All right!" Kevin congratulated himself, while opening the closet door.
"Gomen Nasaii, I-"
"I can speak English. Now, might you tell me what's going on here, Mr-?"
"Callahan, Kevin Callahan," he supplied in James Bond fashion.
"Right, Mr. Callahan."
Kevin took a deep breath and started "Ok, as weird as this is going to
seem... I'm uhm your uhm, creator..."
"Mr. Callahan, if you're saying you are God, then frankly there's no
reason to continue this conversation, because it's obvious you are lying."
"That's not exactly what I mean, Ami-cha-" realizing what he said he
stopped and blushed.
Unperturbed, the girl continued her questioning. "Then what did you mean,
Mr. Callahan?"
"Kevin, please, Mr. Callahan is too painfully distant, and as for what I
meant, I'm an author. I wrote you," with that, Kevin slumped onto his bed.
"Wrote... me..?"
Kevin sighed. "Yes, I wrote you. You are my character, and surprisingly
enough, this is just the situation the fic- uhm story is about." Kevin jumped as
he heard his mother coming back. "Quick," he said sharply, "Get in the closet
and don't come out until I say so." Meeting his mother in the hallway he walked
to the kitchen with her, as Ami once again hid in the closet.
Coming back in a few minutes later, Kevin handed her some OJ and a
biscuit. "Here it's all I have, I have to change, but I'll do it in the bathroom.
I'll be back momentarily before we leave to tell you it's safe to come out and
lounge about. My mom won't be coming home till I will, at 3:00, be sure to be in
my room at that time. I'll get to you first, don't worry about that, she won't
find out you're here. Then we'll see what to do about this situation."
Ami wanted to scream, to yell, to pull the credit card she had in her
pocket out, head for the nearest airport, and fly to Tokyo. She even felt around
for her henshin pen and communicator, neither of which were present, thinking she
might want to use them. She did none of those things, she simply nodded and curled
up in the corner of the semi-walk-in-closet and nibbled at the biscuit. To do
otherwise would not be rational and if there was one thing she prided herself in,
it was her ability to remain completely rational at the most insane of times.
She began exploring her new surroundings when that boy and his mother had
left for wherever they were going. The house wasn't huge by American standards,
but it was certainly bigger than anything Ami was used to. It had a huge master
bedroom with a hot tub built into its connected bathroom, three ten by ten rooms
besides the master, another bathroom, two dining rooms, one formal, one informal,
a living room, a den, and a two car garage. It was one story, but it seemed to
stretch forever.
Locating the remote control to a huge, again by her standards, television
set, she proceeded to flip through channels. Finding nothing, she looked around
for a book. Only finding an economics book, she sat down to read. By the time,
2:30 rolled around she had read the book cover to cover three times, and had even
answered all the review questions the book posed to its readers. Noting the time,
she poured herself a glass of water and headed for Kevin's room. There she waited.
At 2:45, Kevin came into the room and gasped. She was still there, sitting
at his desk drinking a glass of water, looking just as goddess-like as she should.
Surely he thought he was hallucinating in the morning. She couldn't be there when
he came back, he told himself, but no, she was there. Really there. Really Really
Really there. "Uhm.. konnichiwa, Ami-chan," he stuttered, "How was your day?"
Ami looked up at him and handed him the piece of paper with the economics
answers on it. Since it was his textbook, he recognized them immediately. "That
bad, huh?" She nodded. He sighed. "Sorry there wasn't anything more for you to
do."
"Kevin, I have a question, for you: What's this?" she pressed a button on
his computer monitor and it sprang to life, showing a picture of Ami looking over
her shoulder as his desktop. She turned back to him noticing he was twitching
nervously.
Blushing furiously he attempted to explain "Oh... uhm.. uhm... that.....
uhm.... would be a very cute picture of you," he gave in and told the truth. She
bombarded him with more questions, like was he some kind of pervert? Did he in
fact kidnap her? while still keeping quiet. Obviously his mother would not be the
greatest person to alert to her presence.
Not answering more of her questions, he grabbed a tape off the shelf above
the desk the computer was on and popped it in the VCR. He turned on the TV and
pointed to it. She calmly watched about 30 minutes of it, before he turned it off.
"The original creator of this show, Naoko Takeuchi, really created your image and
quite a bit of your personality. I'm a fan fiction author.. and a fanboy. I've
expanded that personality in my own work. To present someone my own characters
could deal with. Sailor Gemini," he pointed to a picture on his wall, "is very
fond of you, and considers you a great friend, while she never had the nerve to
tell you.
"Look... I don't know how you got here. I don't know why God, or the Kami,
or Buddha, or whoever else, including the universe itself, decided I was somehow
worthy enough to be graced by your presence, but you're here now and we've got to
deal with that," Kevin said as he looked at her with guilty eyes. "Now, if you're
done trying to make out to be some kind of serial killer, I have an idea to get
you to be able to stay here. You can use your talents to uhm... hack into computer
systems, right?"
She glared at him when he finished.
"Hear me out, if you can hack into a Tokyo high school, create false
records, and then enroll here, we'd be home free. My mother won't say no to an
exchange student, especially one of your talents. She'll be convinced you'd make
me more studious. So, what do you say? Can you try it? You can use one of the
community college's computers if you're afraid you're not good enough to use
mine without being caught."
Her gaze lightened, but it still held the answer of 'no.'
"C'mon, we don't have a lot of options here. Please, this is really
for your own good, you may not agree with the methods, but it is. I brought
you here somehow, true, but I don't know how to get you back. Maybe it's that
the universe feels I need you, and until I don't you're stuck here. This is
real life, and I can't use my supposed author powers to send you back. Besides,
I uhm.. don't.. uh.. want to," he finished, blushing as he did.
'His attitude is kind of cute' she thought to herself, unbidden. Almost
blushing herself, she turned to the computer. "I'll change the records from here,
I'll use a trick I know to hide the hostmask. First thing to do is to find a high
school with many kids and many hard workers. That way my sudden appearance in their
files won't seem as suspicious. They might think they just forgot who I was. I'll
make my grades lower, since you say no one with my IQ exists here."
"Well, maybe Steven Hawking, but he's not a female Japanese student, is
he?" Kevin joked rather badly.
"No, obviously not. I'll give myself a... 97% average. That doesn't seem
strange for Japan, if your Japan works the way my Japan does. Ah here we go...
Mitsubishi High School, Name: Ami Mizuno Age: 15 DOB: September tenth, 1983. It
is 1999, you said?" He nodded, and she continued reading off what she had typed,
"Average: 97% Extracurricular Activities: Swim team, chess club. Not currently
enrolled. Schooling in America, starting fall. Is that acceptable, Kevin?"
He nodded. "Now, for my part, convincing my mother to let you stay."
---
Author Notes Continued:
If you've gotten this far you have probably not hated it unless you like
pain and suffering. Yes, Kevin Callahan is me. Me at this moment, but as
you can see, I haven't so much as hugged Ami yet, this is not really about
fulfilling my fantasies, as may have been thought or even said by me, but
it's about a teenager who gets his wish and the madness and chaos that ensue
because of it. This isn't a SI lemon. This is however, as I stated before,
blatantly SI. It's supposed to be. That's the point.
Sailor Moon is Copyright 1992 Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Toei Animation
and Bandai. English Language Adaptation is Copyright 1999 DIC
Productions, L.P. Any product names mentioned herein are Copyright
their respective owners. All rights reserved. No claim of ownership,
expressed or implied is made in the use of these trademarked names,
characters, and likenesses. Kevin Callahan is Copyright me dammit, it's
my name :P