I sense a distinct pattern here. This story is a well written introduction
to a Crystal Tokyo undermined by traitors, infiltrators, or both.
It is nicely characterised, shows just enough of what's going to be interesting,
features next to flawless grammar and spelling. And, just like the other
fiver or six times you have started to explore this theme, it isn't going to go
anywhere unless you write Chapter 2 and after that Chapter 3. You've got a
story you want to tell and you have the skill needed. So tell it, already.
I'm one to talk, I know, since my own efforts are pretty scattered and sporadic.
But don't do as I do. Do as I say, and you could end up with a really good story.