C+Cing as a go along:
W*ING Higley wrote:
�Why.,�
drop the period that sneaked in there
Tenchi asked, still trying to digest the news.
�For the last 700 years, my sister and I have neglected our duties as
members of
the royal family of Jurai. First it was searching for Yosho, then staying
here on Earth
with you Tenchi.
you, Tenchi
�That would be nice, wouldn�t it Tenchi.� Ayeka smiled ironically. �I
am afraid
that on occasion our family, Sasami and I included, have had a nasty habit
of
exaggerating the extent of our family�s influence.�
'We just own a couple of dustbowl planets, and the galaxy's equivalent of
New Jersey. Most systems make fun of ours, actually. '
Chancellor of the Republic Senate has erupted. The former Chancellor was
forced to
step down six weeks ago,
Got caught in bed with a Sith Lord. Messy business, that was.
and there are several parties now vying for control. In matters
such as these, only members of the Royal Family are fit to weigh in on who
should be the
next Supreme Chancellor.�
Of course, Star Wars actually took place 'A long, long time ago in a galaxy
far away ^_^
Tenchi looked at her with deep sorrow. �Ayeka....I....� he couldn�t put
what he
wanted to say into words. He still wasn�t sure exactly how he felt about
Ayeka, whether
he loved her or whether he loved Ryoko, but he had come to depend on Ayeka
to be the
great calming force in his life,
She is?
able to give a sense of order from the chaos that had
become Tenchi�s life.
two uses of 'life' in the same setence. I'd change it to 'to be a great
calming force, able to give
�Will.....will you ever come back?� was what he finally managed to spurt
out.
I'd go with something other than 'spurt.' Just paints the wrong picture.
Yosho wore his usual mask of indifference. He looked solemnly at Ayeka.
�You
do me proud Ayeka. I could never do what you do now.�
�Thank you..�
drop extra period.
Ayeka looked at Tenchi. �Take care of him, brother. He is the
last male of the royal bloodline,
What does that make Yosho? He's male and royal.
�Shh,� Ayeka said, putting a finger to his lips to silence him. �Don�t
say
anything, my Tenchi. We were never meant to be, there were too many
forces working
to keep us apart. Goodbye, my love.�
Quite sweet there.
�Mom, what�s wrong with him?� Ryoko was stunned.
I'll say. She just called Washu 'Mom'
the aftereffects of the Zero bonding had resulted in the mind-link being
disabled.
Hmm. Interesting. Why am I sure that's going to come into play.
by
Grandpa. You were always there for me, even as a little kid when I would
play by your
cave..�
drop the second period, unless you are going for an ellipse, in which case
add another
Two weeks later:
�......I now pronounce you man and wife.�
That was quick.
The wedding was held under Funaho, with Yosho serving as minister,
Nobuyuki
as best man, and Mishoshi doing double duty as bridesmaid and ring bearer.
I wonder how many times she dropped the ring. ^_^
To most in
Japan, getting married less than two weeks after you had declared your
love for each
other might have seemed insane, but to Tenchi, it made all the sense in
the world
largely because he was insane.
�Tenchi....my father......Emperor Azuza......is dead!�
�What!??!!� For the first time in his life, Yosho lost his composure.
Ayeka looked at him sorrowfully. �Father has been assassinated. We don�
t know
how, but he collapsed at the dinner table and......and....�
his last words were, 'It was the salmon mousse.'
************************************************************************
�The new Empress of Jurai� Ryoko shouted triumphantly.
Yeah, but once she realizes there are responsiblities with the position,
she's not gonna like it.
�Excellent work, my young apprentice. All has gone as I have foreseen
it.�
�Thank you, Lord Sidious.�
Sidious,"
Ryoko said to the Dark Lord of the Sith whose
holo-image was in front of her.
�You have done well, child. Are you sure the new Emperor of Jurai will
do as
you ask?� Darth Sidious asked.
�Tenchi�s so shaken up right now, he�ll do anything I ask. Once we
arrive on
Jurai tomorrow and are officially installed as the new Emperor and
Empress, we shall
travel to Coruscant and officially give our support to you in your bid to
become Supreme
Chancellor, Senator Palpatine.�
Gotta go with Lurker here. After her enforced servitude to Kagato for so
long, she'd sooner die than submit. One thing Ryouko's got is a ton of will
and pride. I don't see her bowing to anyone, especially the likes of
Palpatine.