The characters of the Ranma � universe are the
creation and possession of the brilliant
Rumiko Takahashi. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi
and her licensees (Shogakukan Inc., Kitty-Fuji
TV, Viz Communications Inc.) No copyright
infringement is
intended.
I would like to thank my friend and pre-reader Angel
for the first line of this fanfic which inspired the
rest. I would like to . . .but I don't think she wants
to take responsibility. ^_^
These characters have been modified from their
original versions. They have been edited to make
their personalities fit the story and reformatted from
their original manga version into prose.
***************************************
Chapter 1
Cry havoc, and let loose the pigs of war.
"Damn those evil cheese hoarding midget pigs from
hell!" Hibiki Ryouga agent of P.I.G. slammed his fist
against the wall, leaving a sizable crater in the
poly-steel alloy.
"Hmmmph, PUG boy lose way again?"
Spinning like a top Hibiki leveled his Mark V
P-P-P-chain gun at the unexpected voice. Recognizing
the voluptuous figures as his sometime ally sometime
adversary Shan Pu, a N.E.K.O. Inspector, he
re-holstered his weapon.
"That's, Porcine _Interstellar_ Guard, kitten."
Shan Pu smiled, showing an impressive set of
fangs----- only the violent tic at the very tip of her
tail showing her emotions.
"No get funny, funny piggy boy. Shan Pu ask ask-----"
"What the HELL are you talking about?" Hibiki scowled
at Shan Pu in annoyance.
One furry ear twitched in exasperation as she dipped
into her skintight jumpsuit, emerging with a slim
metallic box. Wrinkling her lip, she rapped the box
against the door frame, eliciting an atonal squeal
full of pops and whistles.
"Dammed thing hasn't worked right since that affair
off Rigel. Took a pulsar dart through the central
processor." She rapped the voice-decoder against the
door frame again. "Better? It's frightfully
embarrassing when the bloody thing goes on the fritz
like that." She slipped the vodder back into her tunic
and resealed it. "I'd get a new one, but with the new
budget constraints . . ." She shrugged her shoulders,
causing an interesting ripple effect, in a
what-the-hell-can-you-do-about-the-bean-counters
gesture.
Hibiki felt an instant sympathy, natural among field
operatives, for a fellow fighter against bureaucratic
inertia and indifference. An instant later he recalled
the last time he'd felt sympathy for the seductive
agent of Network Executive Kabala Operations; after he
woke up he spent six months as a pleasure slave among
the K'od Aach'i. He shuddered in remembrance. It had
taken three years of intensive
psycho-hygiene and neural conditioning before he had
been able to look at spandex without breaking down in
tears.
"Why are you here Shan Pu?"
"I jolly well imagine the same reason you are." The
long lavender tail began to lash the air. "My
government suspects BAKA is on the move."
Hibiki twitched involuntarily.
"N . . .nonsense. The Bacchic Anti-Karma Alliance is
just a myth. Why it's no more real than . . .than . .
." Hibiki searched for another equally mythic
creature.
"TOMBOY?" San Pu offered, helpfully.
His P-P-P-chain gun was in his hand, it's bell-shaped
muzzle pointed at Shan Pu's hearts. He didn't even
remember pulling it from his holster. "What do you
know about TOMBOY?"
"Oh, not veddy much, actually." The vodder stretched
and clipped the syllables to render the last word as
�echtuuuly'. Frowning slightly Shan Pu rapped the
small machine with her fist. "Not veddy much
echtuuuly. Aaaaa, stupid piece of -----" There
followed a series of high pitched growls and squeals,
sounding remarkably like a cat killing a bag-pipe in a
ball bearing factory during a hail storm, that Hibiki
was just as well satisfied NOT to have rendered into
Standard.
"All I know,"Shan Pu, or rather her vodder, said
finally. "is what everybody else knows. TOMBOY is a
prototype polymorphic combat android of immense
strength and durability utilizing an experimental
trip-wire battle circuit and an untested personality
simulation processor. Rumor has it that the prototype
Type A, model K Neural Expansion unit went berserk
during a routine upgrade----a technician was
installing a new power module through the lower rear
access port, when the machine morphed a war-hammer and
knocked the technician through a wall. Thereafter unit
A/K-NE smashed it's way through a 30 cm wall of battle
steel, a reinforced brigade of Federation Mobile
Infantry and disappeared off planet." Shan Pu smiled
slightly. "Other than that, I don't know anything."
Hibiki decided to lay his cards on the table. The
situation was too dire for jurisdictional or
intra-species conflicts. "You are correct. What you
don't know is that BAKA is after the TOMBOY."
"My god!" Shan Pu hadn't really believed BAKA was
back in business. "If BAKA gets TOMBOY . . ."
"Yes," Hibiki agreed grimly. "If BAKA gets TOMBOY,
the galaxy is doomed."
=====
When I get a little money, I buy books;
And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus
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