Here's part 3. Hope you enjoy it!
Please send C&C!
.......................................................................................
Chapter 3: Icy daggers.
I looked down into the coffee, yet again. I went through this drill
almost every day, for what else did I have to do? Nothing better then
listening to the screams in your mind, listening to the pain, the pain
that stings of so dear.
Do I deserve this pain? Yes. Absolutely, without a doubt in my mind
I know I deserve every last ounce of pain. And that's the worst thing
about the situation. Damn myself to hell!
Drinking down the coffee, I looked at my watch. It was almost time
to got to school again. And knowing my luck, I would bump into Alice
again. That was something I didn't want to happen. I didn't want to hear
her voice, I didn't want to see her, and I sure as hell didn't want her
to pour Pepsi on mt head.
As I though of this, I felt a hand touch my shoulder. When I looked
up I saw a young girl who looked about my age. She was short, and slim,
but very well built. She wore a light white sweater and white sweat
pants, which was much like the colour of her skin. They were very loose
on her, almost three sizes to big by my reckoning. She had dark red,
crimson hair, which flowed all the way down to the floor. And dark red
eyes, an evil red. Yet they held no malice, only a kind of understanding
look, as though she really cared.
I pulled my shoulder away from her and spun around asking, "Who are
you, and what are you. And what do you want?"
Then she only nodded and vanished into the air, falling apart into
smoke.
I just turned around and took another sip of coffee. It was another
delusion, like that dream of mine. I'm not completely cure, not at all.
If only Alice was a delusion, something that never existed. But I knew
she wasn't, but terribly wished she was............
I was bent over my desk in Math class, trying to fall asleep. It was
so boring, so very, very boring. So I was doodling, which many people
do. I used to doodle all the time, to waste the time. To get off my mind
what was happening, what was going on.
For the full hour of the class I mostly doodled, and did very little
work. My mind just kept on wandering and my pencil kept on moving across
the page.
After the hour was up, I looked at whatever I had doodled, and was
confused to say the least. It was a terribly well drawn piece of
artwork. All etched with pencil it depicted a scene where I stood,
alone, in a field of burning crosses. On the crosses were diving angels,
being crucified. Not only was the picture bizarre, but so was the fact
that I couldn't draw anywhere near this good. Not with all the detail,
the emotion, the perfection that this picture had.
Maybe I was going crazy? A lot of weird stuff was happening lately,
and it couldn't be explained except by saying, I was hallucinating.
Dreaming, or going completely insane. I personally say the third one is
the most likely, and that is not good at all.
Closing the Math binder I left for the cafeteria..............
Sitting at my usual place in the cafeteria, I picked through my
tuna-fish sandwich. Eating a few pieces here, and a few there, it would
never be completely eaten. Which was all right, I wasn't really all that
hungry.
As I took a sip of my coke, Alice sat down on the other side of the
table. She wore a neutral look on her face as she unpacked her own
sandwich. I couldn't tell what it was from here, not that I really
cared.
She looked at me and let out a faint smile. "Sorry about yesterday.
I just got a little angry."
I just grunted in response and took another small bite of the
tuna-fish sandwich. I didn't want her apologies, I just wanted her to go
away. I did not want to extend my hand to someone for help and get a
knife stabbed through it. That's the way it goes. I'm nice to someone,
and then something happens and they all go away. People move towards
more popular friends, which mean farther away from me. As the saying
goes, I scratch your back, you stick a knife in mine.
Her anger was building up slowly, and with good cause. "Why won't
you talk to me? What is wrong with you any ways? You're so damn cold! As
though you don't care about life at all! Do you want to live through a
life half a man?"
And she was talking about being cold? That struck like icy daggers
into my heart. It was the truth and I knew it. Her questions would all
be answered, yes. "What I want doesn't matter. What I deserve is
everything."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" She bellowed out at me.
Which was starting to draw a little attention.
"You're new here, aren't you?" She nodded, and so I continued. "Well
then ask around. There should be a few people who can answer that." And
then I continued eating my lunch, calmly.
Alice didn't ask again during all of lunch time. She just sat there,
quietly, trying to figure out what I meant. Knowing her she would go and
find out the truth. And then I would be alone again, just like I deserve
to be. Alone with the screams..............
Man, in my opinion, was the highest form of life in the world. So
magnificent when compared to what else lived on this world. We were the
only ones capable of loving, of feeling, of caring. But that came with a
price. We are the only ones to feel sorrow, remorse, and hatred.
Everything is a double sided sword. When something good happens, then
something just or almost as bad happens.
Yet there is a time, after all the advancement, all the evolution.
When it all caught up to you. When there is so much good, and then so
much bad. When you are just so broken that you have to end it all. End
all the pain, and now I was at that end.
I looked at the kitchen knife in my hand. Long, sharp, clean. The
dark black handle was held in my right hand while the blade was in the
left. It was a surprise that the doctors let me keep such a sharp blade.
But then almost everything can kill a man. And therefore hiding this
blade would be little use, I would just use a fork or something.
With one quick movement I moved the sharp blade across my left hand,
testing its sharpness. The blade easily slit through my skin, cutting it
in a rather straight line. I felt only a little touch of pain. I thought
it would hurt a little more, but it didn't.
I watched as the blood dripped off the handle of the blade onto the
floor. They were separate, and then steadied into one clear pace. Soon
there would be a whole pool of blood, and I would be lying in it. Death
would find me, and I would embrace it.
Now it was time to kill myself, I wouldn't miss my life. I may go to
heaven, but most likely hell. Yet I was not a religious man. Every hope
in religion, in a god watching over me, burned when I killed my family.
Everything I had and cared about died then. Now it was time for the
shell to join what was inside. For that's all I was, a shell.
My hand moved around the bade until the blade pointed inwards,
towards my heart. There was nothing left to live for, now I will end it
all with one swift thrust.
Before I could stab inwards, a hand rubbed my hand. A gentle hand, a
soothing hand. A hand that wanted nothing but to comfort me. This hand
slowly plucked the knife from my hand, and I didn't even resist. For
some reason I couldn't stop the person from stopping me. I wanted to
make it stop, but it didn't.
Once it had taken the knife from my hand, it laid it on the floor
next to the cabinet. And my eyes followed it, yearning to use it. But
something seemed to hold me back. And all will to kill myself vanished.
I looked up from where the knife was to see the person who had
stopped me from using it. It was that red haired girl who had touched my
shoulder this morning. She wore a smile on her face as she looked at me
and nodded. "Not your time. Not your time at all." Her voice was so
faint, almost like that of a ghost.
"Who are you?! What are you? Why did you stop me? I want to die! I
have nothing to live for!"
She shook her head and a frown appeared on her face. "Yes, you have
something to live for. Your time is not up. You have a large task ahead
of you. Good bye. We will meet again. Until then." And she vanished.
I fell down to my knees and cried. The tears joining the blood on
the floor. For some reason I could not even think about killing myself.
Whatever she had done, she had ruined me. Now I could not rest in peace.
No matter what she said, there is truly nothing for me to live for.
.....................................................................................
What did you think? Tell me! Send C&C!