Hi,
Ummmm, if you could be a little more specific? I might
be able to consider changes. You posts indicates that
you are unsatisfied with the ending but is not
detailed
enough for me to know what you find unsatisfactory.
Considering the name change. There is ample historical
precedence for a name change after a significant
life-changing event. It was quite common for Zen
masters to change their name after satori or
realization. However in such a short story I felt
there was insufficient time for the reader to
acclimate to the name change. Therefore I stuck with
Akane to maintain the flow of the story rather than
have the reader stall each time they read Yoarashi.
With a longer story I would have used Yoarashi
throughout.
Thanks for writing. C&C is helpful. If you find time
to provide more detail on your concerns I will see
what I can do.
^_^
--- Chan Wei Lik <weimin@pl.jaring.my> wrote:
From: Colleen Leah Morgan
You almost had me going there, now pony up the
text.
Yeah! Chpater 4 AND the Epilouge both feel bogus. If
they're for real, you
really need help.
And make up your mind as to what you want to call
Akane and stick to it.
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