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MSS Productions
A division of SIPP
presents
Self Insert Hunter
"The Rabbit That Could"
[part two of three]
by
wx721
**NOTE** Don't take this fic seriously. If you do, you'll suffer brain
damage. I meant to write a SI-parody, but unfortunately it ballooned into
this. Blame Avatar who gave me the idea years ago for this fic. ^_^;
Disclaimer: This work is not meant to be published or distributed for
monetary units. Author permission required for posting and/or
transmission. Copyrighted characters and/or concepts held by their
respective owners (Pioneer/AIC, CLAMP, Baen).
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"Damn you, Makoto! Damn you to everlasting HELL!"
Jinnai Katsuhito stomped his feet in fury and gnashed his teeth,
eliciting uneasy stares from the battle weary Ares bridge crew. "It isn't
fair! He's always there, blocking my path to success even in this world!
ARRRGH!"
Citizen Astrogator Rawlings, the most senior surviving officer
after Jinnai, coughed and tried to speak. "Citizen Admiral Ji-"
Jinnai whirled onto him. "DON'T you degrade me with that citizen
crap, you numbskull! Ransom can shove her policies up her ass!" He
chopped the empty air in front of him with a finger. "You will address me
Supreme Space Overlord!"
"Uhh... yes. Supreme Space Overlord, our sensors show about 50
signatures in hyperspace heading our way, 15 of them very likely
super-dreadnoughts, with masses and velocities matching to the new RMN
Siren class. Our task force damage is extensive with 2 ships of the
wal--"
"Shut up!" screamed Jinnai, "My superior intelligence is at work!"
The Havenite admiral feverishly paced in the battered bridge. "That's it!
Fire all the missile pods at that planet! Destroy their orbital
defenses!"
"But--!"
"Launch them you idiot! It'd be useless to the Alliance if
there's nothing left!"
"Sir, the incoming Manties outnumber us 3 to 1. We don't have
time to position ourselves for a shot. Even if we warp after clearing the
system, we must keep our remaining missiles for any possible encounters."
A weird gleam shone on Jinnai's eyes. "Are you questioning my
genius?" he levelly said.
Rawlings broke out in sweats. "No, Sir."
"Good." The Citizen Admiral's face relaxed. "That's good to
hear." Then his entire demeanor changed in a second. "Launch the
missiles, YOU DIMWIT FREAK!"
Rawlings meekly replied, "Yes, sir."
Jinnai sat back in his commander seat, his right eyebrow twitching
as his sneered. "I'll get you, Makoto. I'll roast you alive, after I get
an ultimate weapon!" He broke out in high pitched, hysterical laughter,
chilling the bridge crew's spines.
"Screwball."
Every bridge officer became frigid with fright. Who said that?
No one among themselves would dare insult Admiral Jinnai in such a way,
even though he was *very* eccentric.
Switching off his cloak, Myungsu leaned against a scarred bridge
bulkhead and blandly gazed at Jinnai. "A maniac like you deserve to boil
in Phlegethon."
The Supreme Space Overload gaped. "Who the hell are you? How did
you get in here? Guards! Get him!" Rawlings and other officers
brandished their pulse guns.
Unfazed, the hunter snapped his fingers and raised the neutrino
field around the Citizen Admiral.
*Remove.*
Jinnai vanished. Seeing their commander disappear into thin air,
the Ares bridge crew stopped in befuddlement, unsure what to do. Myung
used the moment to fade away from their sights.
A long, tense silence descended on the bridge.
Rawlings finally broke the tension, speaking to no one in
particular.
"Wake me if this is a dream."
= = = =
"Oh, Admiral! Your ears are so big!"
"PuupuPuuupuPu!"
"Of course, I made the carrot cake, silly," the female wearing a
skin tight uniform slid next to his seat. "You forgot to say the magic
word." She sensually stroked the Admiral's chin.
"PupuPUpuPUUUUUU!"
"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty!"
= = = =
Manticoran Captain Mizuhara Makoto stared out to the void through
the port hole. So many dead. So many. Even Nanami, who went down with
the Grayson merchant marine Carnasus. She didn't deserve to die....
He started when a hand clapped his back. "Come on, Makoto. We
need you at the bridge." Fujisawa Masamichi, the tactical officer of RMN
Quirinal.
Makoto turned to him. "Fujisawa-sensei, I-- I don't know
anymore." He glanced outside the port hole. "It doesn't feel right, this
war...."
Fujisawa didn't reply for a long moment. "I understand, but it
was either us or them."
The young captain clenched his hands and shook his head. "No.
This isn't our fight. We don't belong here."
"Don't start second guessing yourself. You know we tried to make
best of our situation."
Makoto lowered his head. "If we can only get to that alien
artifact...."
Fujisawa dug a small bottle out of his pockets and swigged several
gulps. "Umm, yeah. It's a shame the Peeps have it."
Both men started when a disembodied voice echoed in the small
cabin. "It isn't too late."
Myung materialized next to the two Manticoran officers and gave a
short nod to each of them. "Mizuhara Makoto, Fujisawa Masamichi. I
apologize in scaring you like this, but I'm short on time."
"Holy--!"
The hunter kept on talking. "I can send you back home."
Makoto held up an open hand. "Wait, who are you? What are you?
How--"
"Lets just say it's my job to correct irregularities in
dimensions. Both of you need to go back to your original reality."
"Hold it!" Fujisawa squinted at the hunter, scanning up and down
at him. "Something is fishy here. You were saying you work for some
thing-a-ma-jig?"
"Look, no time for explanations. Sorry." Myung snapped his
fingers. The two officers became still as the neutrino field surrounded
them.
*Remove.*
They were pulled out of 3.219.
*C, get a confirmation.*
*Contacting.... Control has them, Myung. Control is warning we
are approaching the time limit.*
The hunter sighed. He had wasted time traveling the immense
distances separating the target, since the previous sliding left him too
dizzy to concentrate.
*C, check on our primary target.*
*Processing.... Associated Rip is near the edge of system,
velocity decreasing. It doesn't look good. It's a large tear. The
reality stream is heading toward collapse.*
*Get the slide ready, C.*
*Are you sure about that, Myung?*
*I'll take a minute to rest after it.*
*Okay. Inter-spatial slide is ready.*
*Last one. Lets do it.*
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next: part three of three
[note: The bits with Nabiki and Urd will appear in the next episode of
Self Insert Hunter, "Strolling Through Malebolge Wonderland."]