BwAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I strike again! I have defiled the good
name of Rumiko Takahashi yet again! I'll never stop!!!
HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
*****
C&C is, as always, appreciated.
*****
Any resembelance to any person, university, band, or Kimodo Dragon, living or
dead, is purely intentional and was planned by the conspiracy association of
America, in conjunction with Defilers Of Credible and Respectful Names, Inc.
Blame them.
*****
Oh. And, there's some nasty language in this. Sorry. I'm a dirty young
man. That,
and that's just how they talk. It's just the way they are.
BACK OFF!!!!!
*****
This is in the form of a screenplay. Sorry. Something different. Needed to
do it. BECAUSE I HATE YOU!!!!! No, not really. Been smoking too much crack
lately. Again..........
*****
::Text::
America. Fulton-Marcus University. Gretchen, Arizona.
::Text fades out::
::Text::
SUMMER
::Cut to overhead of city with large orchestral BANG for suspense::
::Same type of cut with BANG to overhead of college careful, then overhead of
a
building, then the front of a building::
(We see 2 young men walking out of the Business and Economics building. One
is
about 6' 3'', blonde, and is wearing baggy khakis and an untucked button-up
shirt.
The other is wearing a black shirt with the anarchy symbol on it, baggy jeans
that
have rups, patches and writing all over them, has a shaved head with black
stubble,
has 7 earrings of various types in each ear, a nose stud, 2 eyebrow piercings
above
his right eye, a snake tattoo coiling up his right arm and going under his
t-shirt at the
shoulder, as the sleeves had been ripped off, and is about 5' 11''. The
blonde is
known as Ranma and the punk is known as Ryoga.)
(Midday)
::The camera tracks them as they walk across campus::
Ranma- ...So I can't make it. Sorry, dude.
Ryoga- It's the fucking Shitheads! The SHITHEADS!!!
(Ryoga grabs a can of Mt. Dew from someone who was about to open it. He opens
it, chugs half of it in about 3 seconds, and throws the rest of the pop in
the can
through an adjacent car's window.)
Ryoga- You've GOTTA come!
(Ranma stops and looks back to the shattered car window)
Ranma- HOW do you DO that?
(Ryoga stops and turns)
Ryoga- What?
Ranma- That.
(Ra points to the broken window.)
Ranma- How can you throw a half-empty can of Dew hard enough to shatter a
window?
Ryoga- (Shrugs) Just naturally strong, I guess.
Ranma- Freakishly strong, you mean.
Ryoga- Fuck you!
(A guy on a skateboard approaches the two. Ryoga sticks his foot out,
stopping the
skateboard and sending it's rider flying. He flips it up into his hands,
snaps it in two
as if it were a pencil, and throws it on it's owner's back)
Ryoga- I may be 'freakishly strong', but you're a fuckin' Nazi! You're 100%
German
with a Japanese name! I should kick your ass right now!
(Ranma flips Ryoga the bird and continues walking)
(Ryoga runs to catch up, and they continue walking together)
Ryoga- Why do you have a Jpanese name, anyways? Why not German or
American?
Ranma- (Shrugs) My dad's freakin' obsessed with Japan. It's frightening,
really. After
he and mom moved here from Germany, he started researching Japan, and
hasn't stopped since. (Shrugs again as he waves to someone) He just
wanted to name me in Japanese, I guess. Why do YOU have a Japanese
name?
Ryoga- (Shrugs) Beats me. My dad's a crack addict, and I think he just
jumbled
some letters together when he named me. It just happened to be a
Japanese name.
(Ryoga flips someone off)
Ranma- Nice, Ryoga. Very polite.
Ryoga- (Flips him off next) I'm so sorry. I almost forgot you.
Ranma- Hilarious. Abso-fucking-loutley hilarious.
Ryoga- (Puts his arm down) How did we become friends, anyways? We're not
very
much alike.
Ranma- (Shrugs) In high school, people would always steal your lunch. I
always gave
you some of mine, and that led us to talking, and POOF! We were
friends.
Ryoga- (Clenches his fists) I just wanted to (Punches a tree, toppling it)
FUCK those
jack asses up!
Ranma- (Puts his head down with his right hand over his face, shaking his
head)
Ryoga, do you HAVE to cause structural damage wherever you go?
::Camera shifts to a close up of a young, brown haired woman in a pair of
men's
dress slacks, a men's dress shirt, a tie, nice men's shoes, and with a sport
coat
slung over her left shoulder. The camera follows her as she approaches Ranma
and
Ryoga. She is about 5' 10''::
(The girl, Luke, smiles and looks at the tree)
Luke- Don't worry, Ranma-honey. The schoolhas gotten used to you two
causing
damage. After all, you HAVE been here for a couple of months.
Ranma- (Smiles) Luke-chan! How's it...
(Ryoga interrupts)
Ryoga- Hold it, hold it. You said you weren't interested in Japanese
culture, Ranma,
and, Luke is mostly Italian, so what's with the whole '-chan' thing?
Luke- It's an old joke Ranchan and I have. Actually, its more a joke I
have making
fun of Ranma. Y'see, when we met in 7th grade, I had just started
Japanese,
and I was using the suffixes from Japanese in conjnction with people
around
our school. I just called him 'chan' once because he was younger
than me
by 3 days, and he exploded at me. He said that just because he had a
Japanese name it doesn't mean he's Japanese.
Ranma- After that, of course, she started calling me 'Ranchan' all the time,
just to irk
me.
Luke- (Smiles) After a while, he got used to it, and we became friends. I
just didn't
stop calling him 'Ranchan'. I'd gotten used to it, I guess.
Ryoga- (Blank stare) . . . that's the most sickeningly nostalgic story I've
ever heard.
I'm gonna fucking hurl.
Ranma- (Slaps Ryoga on the back, looking sympathetic) Now, Ryoga, just
because
you were a jerk and didn't have any friends doesn't mean that we
can't talk
about our friendship.
(Ryoga turns to glare at him)
(Luke interjects)
Luke- Before bloodshed begins, let me tell you why I came over here.
(Ra + Ry turn to her)
Luke- I want to know if you two can come to a pary tonight.
Ryoga- Alright! Party! We'll . . . (Gets the look of remembering something
he'd
forgotten) Shit! The Shitheads! We can't go, Luke. We're going to
the
Shitheads.
Ranma- (Scowls) I'M not seeing them, YOU are. I've got a Calculus test
tomorrow. I
can't get beaten to a pulp while listening to mind-numbingly loud
music at
4:30 in the AM.
Ryoga- Man, Fuck school! It's just another way for the government to warp
your
mind!
Ranma- I'm not going, Ryoga.
Ryoga- Man, that's bullshit. You're gonna be sorry, dude.
(Someone yells "RYOGA!!!" from behind him. He turns around to see who it is,
then
turns back to R + L)
Ryoga- That's Kari*. I'll see ya. (Walks over to Kari*)
*- Pronounced Kah-ree, not Carrie.
Luke- So, if you're not going to the concert, can you come to my party?
Ranma- (Smiles) Sure! What's the occasion?
Luke- Our sorority is getting some new members. They transferred from FMUs
Japan campus to this one. They don't know very many people, and they
still
need a little practice speaking English, so we decided to throw a
little mixer
so they could get to make some friends.
Ranma- (Smiles again) Cool! Not only will I be able to meet some ne people,
but I'll
also be able to practice my Japanese!
Luke- (looks at R quizzacly) Why do you take Japanese, anyways? Wouldn't
that
just compound the problem of your name?
Ranma- (Shrugs) Yeah, but I'm a business major, and there are alot of big
Japanese
businesses out there, so I decided that being able to speak Japanese
would
be a beneficial job skill to have.
Luke- (Smiles) You have to make sacrifices, sometimes. So, anyways, the
party
starts at . . . (looks behind Ranma at someone. Smiles) That's them
right
now! (points to two Japanese women walking b about 10 feet away.)
::Camera shifts to a view of the two::
::Camera goes back to Luke::
Luke- Hey! Akane! Nabiki! Over here!
::Camera shifts to Akane and Nabiki::
(They turn, see Luke, smile, and start over. The shorter one (5'6''), Akane,
has blue-
black hair cut short. The taller one (5'7''), Nabiki, has brown hair, also
cut short)
(They reach L + R, and L takes R's arm, standing him in front of the two
women)
Luke- Nabiki, Akane, I'd like you to meet Ranma.
Akane- (Bows) Ohayo go . . . (Nabiki buts a hand on her shoulder and stands
her
upright)
Nabiki- (In almost flawless english) I'm sorry about that. She's not used to
American
customs. (Removes her hand from A's shoulder and extends it to R) I'm
Nabiki.
Ranma- (Smiles and bows) Ohayo gozaimasu. Watashi wa Ranma desu.
(Subtitles:
Good morning. I'm Ranma)
Akane- (Smiles at her frowning counterpart, then bows in return) Ohayo
gozaimasu.
Watashi wa Akane desu. (Subtitles: Good morning. I'm Akane)
(R + A straighten back up)
Ranma- (Smiles larger than before) Watashi wa anata ga suki, Akane-san.
Anata wa
kawaii desu. (Subtitles: I like you, Akane. You're cute.)
Akane- (Blushes and looks down) D...domo arigato...
Luke- (Smacks him upside the head) Idiot! The last thing she needs right
now is
someone hitting on her!
Ranma- (Rubbing his head) Well, she's cute! What can I say?
Luke- (Glaring daggers) Ranma...
Ranma- (Holding his hands up) Okay, okay! (turns to A + N) Sorry. I've
been looking
for an excuse to practice my Japanese. I hope I haven't offended
you.
(Ranma grabs Nabiki's still outstretched hand and shakes it politely)
Ranma- It IS nice to mee you Nabiki, Akane, despite my behavior. (Lets go of
N's
hand) But Akane IS quite attractive. (Smiles as Akane blushes even
deeper
and covers her smile with her right hand) So, what are you two
majoring in?
Nabiki- (Scowls at Ranma, then looks over at the blushing Akane and can't
help but
smile.) (Turns back to R+L) Akane never gets complimented, so you'd
better
watch out. If you keep it up, she might fall in love with you.
(Akane turns BEET red and looks to Nabiki in shock)
Akane- Nabiki . . . !
Ranma- Would that be such a bad thing, for such a beautiful woman to love me?
::Close up Akane::
(Akane turns even redder than should be humanly possible, covers her mouth
with
both of her hands and looks up at Ranma.)
::Close up Ranma::
(Ranma is smiling VERY attractively directly at Akane)
::Med. shot group::
(Akane giggles into her hands and turns around to hide her blush from Ranma.
This
gets uproarious laughter from Nabiki while Ranma just keeps staring at Akane,
smiling)
(Luke glares with jealousy at Akane)
::Close up Luke::
(Luke visibly struggles to smile)
Luke- Ranma, I think she likes you! (slaps his back a little too hard to be
friendly)
::Close up Ranma::
Ranma- (Still smiling, turns to Luke) Well, Luke, I've got to go somewhere,
so I'll be
off. (Ranma turns to A + N)
::Med. shot group::
Ranma- It was nice meeting you Nabiki. You too, Akane-hime.
(Ranma walks off as Akane blushes and giggles incessantly with Luke fuming
and
Nabiki just smiling)
::Med. shot three girls::
Nabiki- (To Luke) So, Luke. Is Ranma coming tonight?
(Akane whips aroukd to face Luke at the mention of Ranma's name)
::Close up Luke::
Luke- . . . ! (Turns to chase Ranma) Ranma! Wait up!
::Scene cuts to Akane and Nabiki's room in the sorority house. Nuffin'
fancy. 2 beds
2 nighttables, 2 lamps and numerous suitcases and boxes::
(Nabiki is lying on her bed, reading a book. Akane is looking through her
clothes for something to wear, smiling, faintly blushing, and 'la-de-da'-ing
to herself)
::Med. shot::
Nabiki- (Looks to Akane) Akane, you only have so many outfits. Are you sure
you don't just want to go buy something new?
Akane- (Brightens up) Yes!
Nabiki- (Deflates) I was being sarcastic
Akane- (goes back to her outfits) Oh.
Nabiki- (Rolls her eyes) Akane, why are you fussing so much over Ranma? I
mean, you just met the gut, and he may have just been patronizing you.
::Close up A::
Akane- (Turns to N) (In heavily accented english) Nabiki, I like him. He is
cute, polite, tall and from what Luke say, smart.
::Close up N::
Nabiki- Whatever, sis. Just don't fall for the guy too quickly. You're
still in college, and I won't have another sister get married while in
college.
::Med. shot - alt. angle 2::
Akane- You're not still mad about Kasumi, are you?
::Overhead Nabiki::
(Nabiki puts book down and stares up at camera)
Nabiki- I still can't believe she married Tofu before she graduated! That
one mistake cost her her life's dream!
::Med. shot - alt. angle 3::
(A goes to the bed and sits down next to N)
Akane- I don't think she made a mistake, sister. Granted, she did not get
to be a doctor, but she is happy being Tofu's nurse. Besides, she married
the man she loves.
Nabiki- (Props herself up on her arms) Still . . .
Akane- I'm not gonna talk about that anymore. I still need to take a shower.
::Tracking shot::
(Akane gets up, grabs a towel from her suitcase and leaves)
::Close up N::
(Nabiki gives an exasperated sigh and flops down onto the bed, falling off
camera)
::Cut to the front door of the sorority house. We can see the door, and the
windows on either side of the door::
(Luke come in picture, putting on a sport coat and gripping a pen in her
teeth. She gets the sport coat on, picks up a bag, and opens the door. Ranma
is there, about to knock)
Luke- Ranma! What's up?
Ranma- Um, the water is off in my dorm. Can I use your shower?
::Med. shot from outside::
(Luke invites him in with her arms)
(He enters)
Luke- Sure! The upstairs bathroom doesn't work, so you'll have to use the
downstairs one. It's a Japanese bath. you know how wo do that, right? With
the changing room and stuff?
::Med. shot from inside - angle above::
Ranma- Yeah. You cold-rinse then hot-soak, right?
Luke- Yup.
::Med. shot from door looking inside::
Luke- I've gotta go to class, so, see ya!
(Luke exits and closes the door on the camera)
(Door opens to reveal a bathroom with a sign on the mirror that says:
OUT OF ORDER
USE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM)
::Close up A::
Akane- That's a bummer. Oh, well. I guess I will use the downstairs one,
then.
::Med. shot - from inside of bathroom looking out at A::
(A closes door on the camera)
(The door opens th reveal a room with a hamper an some stools)
::Close up Ranma::
Ranma- (Inner monologue) I don't feel right changing in here. I'll just
change in the bathroom.
::Close up door to bath::
(Ranma comes in picture, opens it, enters, and closes it on the camera)
(Door opens to revea teh changing room again)
::Close up Akane::
Akane- (Smiles) (Inner monologue) That's nice. A japanese style bath.
(Looks around) And it looks like I'll have this bath to myself.
(Akane enters changing room, closing door and walking off screen)
::Close up Akane's feet, cut off at knees::
(WE hear clothes rustling, and a shirt flies into the hamper across the room.
Bra follows. More rustling, then shorts and panties fall around Akane's
feet. She steps out of them, bends over to pick them up, and tosses them
into the hamper. Akane's feet walk offscreen. We hear a door open)
::Extreme close up Akane's blushing face::
::Shot from Akane's POV. Ranma, naked, is getting out of the bath. Nothing
is left to the imagination::
::Extreme close up of Ranma's face. He turns his head, looking at the bath
water::
::Med. shot with Ranma looking at the water in the foreground and a
gloriously naked Akane in the background::
::Shot of the entire front of the sorority house::
Voice of Akane- RANMA NO HENTAI!!! (Subtitles: RANMA YOU PERVERT!!!)
(Birds fly from their perch in front of the house)
::The camera follows the birds as they soar into the sky and fly past a
heart-shaped cloud. The camera pauses on the heart-shaped cloud::
::Fade to black::