Subject: [FFML] [Orig] Okaeri, Kaori-chan! (really full!)
From: Matt Johnston
Date: 12/19/1999, 2:00 AM
To: FFML


C&C is greatly appreaciated.  This work consists of both new and
previously released material.  Those who have read chapters before
should read this through.  Those who have never read this before
are encouraged to do so; this is a special piece for me, and it's
finally finished.  And I honestly mean it this time.  ^_^

Words in <these brackets> denote words spoken in English.

------------------------------------------------------------------

                         *    *    *    *

               O K A E R I,   K A O R I - C H A N !
                      (Welcome Home, Kaori!)

                              *    *

         "Okaeri, Kaori-chan!" (c) 1998 Matthew Johnston.
                       All Rights Reserved.

  This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance of the characters
     to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  

                         *    *    *    *

------------------------------------------------------------------

8:52 PM.
     "It's time for bed, dear."  Satoru Nobata looked at his 
daughter and smiled.
     "But..."  The little girl looked back at her father from the 
comfort of the floor,  her face glowing blue-green in the fast-
changing light of the television.  Satoru cut her off with an 
upraised finger.
     "Now, I let you stay up an hour late already."  Satoru stood, 
and stepped to his daughter; her eyes grew even larger with his 
approach.  "It's time for you," he reached down and scooped her up 
in his arms, "to go to bed."  With that, he started for the 
stairs, and her bedroom.  But the little girl had other plans.
     "Will you tell me a story?  Pleeease?"  Her soft, pouting 
voice echoed in Satoru's ears.
     "Oh, okay," he relented.  "But just a short one."  He bounced 
the girl a couple of times in his arms, and carried her, squealing 
in mirth, up the stairs to her room.

9:42 PM.
     "...And so they lived many happy years, and the promised 
tasks were completed.  Yet long afterward, when all had passed 
away into distant memory, there were many who wondered whether 
King Taran, Queen Eilonwy, and their companions had indeed walked 
the earth, or whether they had been no more than dreams set down 
to beguile children."  Satoru poked his giggling daughter on the 
nose.  "And, in time," he finished, "only the bards knew the truth 
of it."
     "Can you tell me another one?"
     "I already told you one!  Now, you need to get to sleep.  
Your first day of school is tomorrow, and you don't want to be all 
sleepy and yawning during class, do you?"
     The little girl shook her head.  "Nuh-uh."  She stuffed her 
head in her pillow and clinched her eyes shut.  Satoru grinned and 
pulled the comforter above her pajama-clad shoulders.
     "Daddy?"
     "Yeah, honey?"
     "Were King Terran and Queen Eelownwee real?"
     Satoru considered the words, and winked.  "They sure were."
     "How do you know?"
     "Oh, I know quite a bit.  And do you know why I know a quite 
a bit?"
     "Why?"
     "Because I wasn't sleepy on my first day of school."
     His daughter giggled, and Satoru smiled reflexively.
     "It's true!  Cross my heart."  The man dutifully mimed an X 
across his chest.  "Now, you get some sleep, okay?"
     "'Kay."
     "Good night, angel."
     "G' night, daddy."
     The word touched Satoru like a feather riding a storm.  
Daddy.  A whispered kiss from his angel.  Silently, he nearly shut 
the door, leaving a strip of the hall's light to try and fill the 
room.  The father lingered outside his daughter's mostly closed 
door for a long moment, then walked slowly to his own.
     As he flipped on the light switch, he could feel it building 
somewhere inside of him.   It cut to remember, but he had to 
relive.
     "Just one more time," he told himself.  After a deep breath, 
Satoru slid open his dresser drawer, and pulled out the worn shoe 
box.  He didn't dare open it, not yet.
     First, a drink.
     The very top shelf of the left kitchen cupboard kept the 
bottle safe, hidden from tiny eyes.  There was only one bottle, 
close to empty, and faded with age.  "Just one more," he reminded 
himself.  He poured the last drink out of the reluctant bottle, 
and considered the glass.
     "Not yet."  He wanted to savor this.  He took his old friends 
to the living room.  The television still blared something about a 
jazz concert, but it wasn't important at the moment.  At any other 
moment, it would have been, but...
     Satoru flipped the TV off at the source, and slid into his 
recliner.  He nursed his drink and set it on the end table, well 
away from any edge.  Now was as good a time as any.
     Satoru opened the box, and remembered.

                         *    *    *    *

September 18th, 1985.
     "You're not older than me!"  Kaori Akazawa, six years old, 
knew this to be true.  But her sandbox companion shook his head.
     "I am too!"  
     "Nuh-uh."
     "Uh-huh!  I'm six days, seven hours, sixteen minutes, thirty-
seven seconds older," Satoru's smiled with pride as he calculated 
in the sand.
     Perplexed, Kaori looked at him for a moment, allowing the 
data to sink in.  As it hit her, Satoru felt the weather change -- 
the colors around Kaori seemed to shift ever so much, from blue 
towards red.  His eyes focused on the empty air next to Kaori, 
intently studying what he thought he was seeing.
     Satoru didn't notice that Kaori was shaking until he heard a 
tiny sob.
     "Nuh-uh..." she attempted.  A tear tossed itself from her 
eye, and swam down her face.  Another joined it, and another.
     "Kaori, I'm sorry."  But it was too late.  A wash of tears 
fell to the sand from her cheeks.  Slowly, deliberately, Kaori 
stood and balled her fists.
     "Kaori?"  The wind shifted, tossing her long red locks 
forward from her back.  Wandering grains skimmed the tops of the 
miniature dunes, and the caught the sunlight.  Like glitter on 
paper, they covered his view of the girl.
     For a brief second, Satoru could see something.  Something 
still, but also moving.  Maybe it had to do with the way the wind 
had changed, forcing her hair into her eyes, and the sand into 
his.  Even though she was angry, she was... Satoru fought for a 
word.  Pretty?
     Then Kaori ran.
     To Satoru, it seemed like the wind had sucked her into 
another world.  She was there one moment, gone the very next.  
When he turned to look, Kaori was halfway across the playground, 
past the swings, and almost to the benches.  By the time he was 
standing, she had scrabbled over the bench and was heading towards 
the playground monitor.
     "I'm gonna get it now," Satoru realized.
     And he did.  The teacher on duty told Mr. Asato, his real 
teacher, and he made Satoru spend an hour after school in room 2-
B, working on math drills.  As he finished the twentieth and final 
page of subtraction, Satoru took his first look up from his desk 
since a random teacher walked in and whapped him with his ruler 
for "daydreaming."
     Mr. Asato was smiling.  The cold-hearted demon that claimed 
to be his teacher was actually smiling.  Satoru removed teaching 
from his list of what he wanted to be when he grew up and handed 
the immense stack of papers to the grinning tormentor.
     "You may go now, Satoru," Mr. Asato was so collected, 
speaking with such a level candor, that Satoru knew he had to be 
an alien.  No human could be that calm.
     "Thank you, sir."  The boy wasted no time in gathering his 
things and exiting the classroom.  "Stupid girl.  Why do I play 
with her anyway," he grumbled as he turned left at the classroom 
door.  A small shuffling alerted him to another presence in the 
hall.  He turned around, his statement of excuse ready for even 
the upper grade teachers, but got cut off by a tiny smile.
     "Hi, Satoru."  Kaori must have seen the irritation on his 
face, because she turned her gaze to the wall and sighed.  "I'm 
sorry about the whole 'telling on the teacher' thing.  I didn't 
think the teacher'd take it so seriously."
     Satoru smiled.  "That's okay."  The irritation faded, no 
matter how much he tried to remind himself about the reams of math 
homework he had just completed.  "Thanks for, you know, staying."
     "I didn't have anything to do after school," Kaori sniffed 
and looked at her nails.
     "Yeah, well, you still won't have anything to do.  I can't 
play with you anymore.  Satoru's smile turned to a lop-sided grin.  
"You get me into too much trouble."
     "Oh, get off it.  We better get home before we get into real 
trouble.  C'mon, I'll race you!"
     "I'll win so easy, you won't know what hit you!"  Satoru 
didn't beat Kaori in their first race home, but, by the time the 
pair reached their houses, it didn't really matter.

March 29th, 1989.
     "Hey, Kaori!  Gonna run today?"  The voice was Masao 
Ishiki's.  He sounded like his usual arrogant self.  As a sixth 
grader, he made sure everybody knew his superiority, even though 
he wasn't more than a few months older than most of the fifth-
graders.
     "Yeah," Satoru saw Kaori's shoulders tighten as she spoke.  
The girl couldn't answer either way without ridicule.  The truth 
was as good an answer as any, Satoru supposed.
     Then the crowd of boys behind Masao spoke.
     "Are you even a girl?"
     "Why don't you go to the monkey bars and play with the rest 
of the girls?"
     "She's not a girl!"
     "Well, she sure ain't a boy!"
     "Hey Satoru!  Is she a girl?"
     "Yeah, I bet Satoru knows!"
     Kaori fumed.  "C'mon, Satoru, let's get out of here."
     "That's it, defend your boyfriend!"
     "That's it, Satoru!  Hide behind your girlfriend."
     Satoru scowled at the group, but did no more.  As the pair 
turned to walk away, the horde surrounded them.
     "C'mon, Satoru!  Be a man!"
     "Satoru likes a guy!"
     "Satoru and Kaori sitting in a tree..."
     "If Kaori's so big and strong, how come she doesn't wanna be 
around other guys?"
     "Yeah!"  Masao proudly stepped forward.  "Let's have it 
then."  He took on the role of ringleader, prancing around the 
pair dramatically.  Satoru had closed his eyes, and was taking it 
well, until he felt Kaori back into him.  They both tumbled to the 
ground.  Satoru opened his eyes just after the impact, and saw the 
tall leader laughing.  His arms were outstretched, his palms 
facing forward.
     "He pushed you?"  Satoru growled softly.
     "Look at the two lovebirds!"
     "Let's see some action!"
     Kaori nodded as she got up.  "But don't--"
     It was too late.  Satoru was on the boy before anybody could 
so much as breath.  Satoru had never fought before, but he knew 
basically what to do.  A flurry of punches hit home, landing on 
Masao's face and chest, though as many deflected harmlessly.
     "Hey!  Get offa me!  Help!"
     The ring of boys first contracted, then expanded when the 
small boy noticed the teacher coming and alerted his cohorts.  
When Kaori saw the teacher coming, she tried to peel Satoru from 
the whimpering Masao.  She didn't try very hard until the 
teacher's whistle blew.
     "That's it!  All of you!  Break it up!"  As Satoru got up, he 
noticed the recess monitor for the first time.  The crowd of boys 
had dispersed, leaving only Kaori, Masao, and himself.

     All three spent the rest of the school day in the principal's 
office, apologizing, but not to each other.
     "This isn't the first time I've seen you two in my office," 
the principal began, motioning to Kaori and Satoru with stern 
hands.  "I must say I'm more than a little disappointed.  I 
expected better from you two."  The pair lowered their heads 
simultaneously.  Satoru began to smile at it, but hid the ill-
timed grin before the principal or Masao noticed.
     "And you,"  The balding man turned his icy gaze to Masao.  
"You don't seem to have too much respect for the fairer sex, do 
you?"
     "I..."  Masao stopped, realizing how futile it would be to 
try and argue, and how damaging it would be to agree.
     "Nothing.  Satoru, Masao.  I'm calling your parents.  I'll 
let them deal with you when school's over."  Satoru breathed a 
sigh of relief.  "But!  Not before all three of you write me a 
five page report on the damaging effects of fighting."
     Kaori looked at the principal, her expression hurt.  "Even 
me?"
     "I did say 'all three of you,' didn't I?"
     "Yes, but..."
     "No but's.  The monitor saw you.  She said you didn't do 
anything to stop Satoru, and in a court of law, that's as good as 
committing the crime yourself."
     "But..." Satoru began even before he had a sentence to speak.  
Masao threw a sharp gaze at him, the beginnings of a condescending 
grin playing on his face.  Satoru could almost hear Masao 
thinking, 'that's it, protect your girlfriend.'
     The principal shook his head once, silencing the boy before 
he could protest on Kaori's behalf.  "I like to keep an orderly 
school.  That means obedient students who don't cause fights," he 
looked pointedly at Kaori, "or let them continue."
     Satoru opened his mouth to try another defense, but the 
elderly principal continued.  "The boys in the group will learn 
their lesson, too.  When Masao here tells them he had to write a 
seven page paper, they'll know the same will happen to them if 
they do it again."
     "Seven!?  What happened to five?"  Masao's eyes looked like 
saucers; his pupils seemed imperceptibly small.
     "That's what I said, Mr. Ishiki.  And if you keep talking 
like that, I'll just tack on a few more pages."
     "Yes, sir."
     "Now, you're all dismissed.  Be here after school, and we'll 
walk to the detention room together."
     "Yes, sir," all three muttered as they bowed and left.
     "Way to go, Nobata," Masao muttered as they reached the door.
     "Ishiki!"  The principal yelled from his desk.  "I may be 
old, but I'm not deaf.  Two more pages!"
     "Aww, man."  Satoru wanted for the life of him to laugh, but 
didn't dare until they were safely in the hall.  He looked to 
Kaori.  Her face looked serious, but her eyes revealed the laugh 
Satoru wanted so badly to hear.

January 31st, 1996.
     "Have you seen him?"
     "Who hasn't!"
     "Isn't he the cutest?"
     "If he talked to me now, I'd die."
     "But you'd die happy!"
     "Of course!"
     Satoru walked behind the strolling wall of freshman 
femininity, searching for a way to get by them without seeming 
like a complete jerk.  He shook his head at the conversation; he 
knew exactly who they were preparing to swoon over.  The new 
transfer student from Fujishima High School.  Jun What's-his-name.
     Jun had everything they wanted in a man; not that Satoru was 
jealous.  Oh no.  It wasn't like he had spent all of the evening 
before staring at the mirror wondering why he wasn't being fawned 
over by countless cute girls.  Nope.  Not a bit.
     Satoru frowned.
     It wasn't that he was ugly, or even really unattractive.  He 
was just average.  Satoru mulled over the term.  Just average.  A 
number of times, he had been mistaken, at a distance or from 
behind, for any number of people.  Average hair: not too long, not 
too short.  Average face: a little rounder than many, a little 
thinner than a few.  Average height; though he was growing; he had 
noticed yesterday that his shirt sleeves seemed a little short.  
He changed his assessment: above-average height.  But he knew his 
above-average weight made up for it.
     The boy sighed, just as he did after the previous evening's 
gaze into the mirror.  It was all so average.  "Why can't average 
be enough?"  The answer, as painful as he was, walked past Satoru, 
between the six swooning groupies, and confidently strode into his 
classroom.
     "This is ridiculous," Satoru grumbled.  He thought for a 
second about how much he really wanted one of the girls to hear 
him, even as they sighed and  giggled.  "I'm gonna be late to 
class, and then I have the 'privilege' of sitting next to the 
guy."
     Satoru received his wish.  "You sit next to him?"  One of the 
girls turned around, and walked backwards for a few steps.
     "Yeah," he answered ruefully.  The group halted, and 
immediately circled the boy.  Regret whapped Satoru on the back of 
the head, and muttered, 'dummy,' from inside his brain.
     "Could you give this to him for me?"
     "And this!"
     "Wait, I have my note in my book..."
     "Here's mine!"
     "Give him mine first!"
     "No, mine!"
     "Hold on a second," Satoru grumbled.  "I'm not giving 
anything to anybody."
     "Why not?!"  The girls whined in unison.
     "Okay, first off, did any of you sign your name on your 
note?"
     The girls paused, and shook their heads no.
     "And if he gets six letters with no names from me, what will 
he think, hmm?"
     "Well..."
     "I hadn't really..."
     "He wouldn't think of you..."
     "Though you do seem a little..."
     "Not that we're..."
     "It's just that..."
     "I'm sorry, girls.  Now, if you'll please step aside, I have 
to get to class."
     The girls sighed together and dispersed.
     The day was uneventful; since Kaori wasn't in his class this 
year, he couldn't see her except during lunch, but she was 
conspicuously absent at lunch today.  As the final bell rang, 
Satoru began to wonder if Kaori was okay.
     "Satoru!"  Kaori greeted him from the door of the classroom.
     "Look, Satoru, it's your girlfriend!" Masao Ishiki crowed 
from a corner of the emptying classroom.
     "She's not my girlfriend!"
     "I'm not his girlfriend!"  The pair yelled in simultaneous 
irritation.
     "Whatever," Masao scoffed.
     "I didn't see you at lunch."  Satoru tried not to sound too 
concerned.
     "I was busy," Kaori murmured.  She quickly scanned the room, 
then asked, "Is Jun here?"
     "He's gone already."
     "Good."
     "Why?"
     "Well," Kaori peeked around the room again.  "I wanted to put 
this in his desk."  She sheepishly held up a note.
     "Don't tell me..."
     "What?"
     "Is this why you weren't at lunch?"
     Kaori looked at the ground, but smiled in spite of herself.
     Satoru grinned mercilessly.  "Kaori's got a crush on Jun," he 
sang under his breath.  Kaori seethed as he repeated the tune.
     "Would you shut up?"  She stuffed the note in Jun's desk and 
stalked off.
     "What?"  Satoru was still grinning, but it was more at the 
strangeness of the situation than anything else.  
     "Lovers' quarrel!"
     "Shut up, Masao!"  Satoru stormed from the room, his face 
burning.  He followed Kaori at a distance, which wasn't an easy 
task.  She was walking at a furious pace, and traffic was pretty 
heavy.  He lost sight of her at one point, and almost gave up, but 
he found her a block ahead, picking up her books.
     "Kaori!"  He finally called.  "Wait up!"  Kaori finished 
collecting the contents of her dropped book bag, and stood, 
waiting for Satoru to catch up.  Satoru could see that, though she 
was waiting, the girl was still furious.
     "Look, I'm sorry..."
     "You can be so..." the statement decayed into an exasperated 
growl.  "It wasn't mine."
     "Huh?"
     "Oh, why do I even bother?"  Kaori threw up her arms and 
turned to finish her march home.
     "What?  C'mon, Kaori."  Satoru jogged to catch up, and rested 
his hand on Kaori's shoulder.  "The note wasn't yours?"
     "Boy, you're quick today!"  Kaori pulled herself away from 
Satoru's reach.
     "Why are you acting like this?"  Satoru stepped back.
     "Because you're being an idiot!"  Satoru expected her to 
start walking again, but she just stood there, breathing deeply.  
Satoru took the opportunity to collect his thoughts and try to 
form an explanation for why this was happening.  And then it hit 
him.
     "Is it... umm..."  Satoru flushed with embarrassment.  He 
could barely believe he was saying it, but it was either that or 
nothing.  "You know.  That time?  Of the month?"
     Kaori's eyes widened.  For a time, neither person spoke.  
Satoru didn't dare breathe.  The second seemed to stretch into an 
hour.  He heard a bird chirp cheerily, and the wind whisper 
against the concrete wall next to sidewalk.  Kaori inhaled, and 
Satoru prepared for the worst.
     Kaori exhaled, and the moment continued.
     Finally, she spoke.
     "Yes.  As a matter of fact, it is."  Her voice wasn't soft, 
but the edge had faded, just a little.
     "Oh."  Satoru wished he had said something more meaningful.  
He tried again.  "I'm sorry."
     "Don't be."  Kaori waved her hand absently.
     "Oh."  Satoru winced.
     But Kaori smiled.  "Not too intellectual today, eh?"
     "It's one of those days."  Satoru tried a roguish grin.  
Kaori stifled a giggle.
     "All right, Robin Hood, let's get home."
     "Yes ma'am."
     "And Satoru..."
     "Yeah?"
     "The note wasn't mine."
     "You doth protest too much."
     "No way."
     "Sure you do."
     "I am not protesting too much!"
     "You are too."
     "Are not."
     "Are too."
     "Are not... Forget it."
     "What?"  Satoru shrugged, smiling in mock confusion.
     "We'd better get home before I beat you senseless..."
     "Yes ma'am."
     "That's better."

March 27th, 1997
     "C'mon, Satoru!  Hurry up!"  Kaori Akazawa grinned as she ran 
kitty-corner across the street, leaving Satoru Nobata behind to 
try and keep up.  Satoru knew it was impossible to catch her.  He 
also knew that, eventually, she'd let him.  It was nothing new; 
she'd slow to a jog, and he'd tag her on the shoulder.  Then he'd 
collapse in the street.
     After a chase down two blocks of city sidewalk, he did just 
that.  In that order.  Kaori smiled triumphantly as she caught her 
breath; Satoru was concentrating too hard on the burning in his 
lungs to smile.
     "So, where to now?"  Kaori stood over Satoru, who coughed 
from his sitting position.  She seemed as if she must be much 
taller than him, even though he knew she was a good six or seven 
centimeters shorter he was.
     Kaori sighed and sat next to him on the curb.  "You really 
shouldn't over-exert yourself like that."  She shook her finger 
and frowned pointedly at Satoru.
     Satoru shot her an incredulous look and coughed what he had 
intended to be a laugh.  "Next you'll be saying I brought this all 
on myself."
     "Well, you did."  Kaori's frown was breaking at the corners 
of her mouth.  "You shouldn't break a girl's heart like that."
     "All I did was correct your math, or whatever you call those 
weird random scribblings of yours.  And didn't my math give you a 
higher score anyway?"
     "That's not the point!"  Kaori furrowed her brow to keep from 
smiling.  "You left me with no choice in the matter."  She lifted 
her chin piously.  "Besides, your punishment was fair and 
inevitable."  The solemn expression faded away when Satoru 
chuckled.
     "Uh-huh.  And you didn't enjoy administering my punishment?"
     "Of course not!"  Her face tried to hide a smile, but failed 
after a short struggle.  "You dare accuse me of taking pleasure in 
your penance?"
     "Oh, *no*.  I'd *never* do that."  Satoru sighed as he rose 
to his feet.  "And this is the *last* time I go running after 
you."  He offered Kaori a hand and tried to look serious.
     Kaori grinned lopsidedly.  "How many times have I heard 
*that* before?"  A lock of red hair fell as she took his hand.  
Once on her feet, she smoothed it back behind her ears with 
slender fingers.
     "So," Satoru returned Kaori's grin.  "Where are we off to, 
anyway?"
      Kaori threw back her head and looked at the top of the 
horizon of buildings ahead of her. After a long moment, she 
inhaled deeply, and exhaled a long, soft sighed. Turning to 
Satoru, she nodded once, announcing her oracular decision.
     "You're going to get me a drink at the Cafe Pierrot!"
     Satoru frowned.  "Why am I not surprised?"
     "Please?  Take me there, please?"  Kaori pouted.
     "Well..."  Satoru hesitated.  He was in trouble; she was 
breaking out the heavy artillery.  He looked down the street, 
trying to avoid her watery gaze.  "But..."  His willpower was 
fading.  He glanced at her against his better judgment.  She 
tilted her head coyly.
     Satoru hung his head and sighed at his defeat.
     "Thank you!"  Kaori twirled around her friend, poked him on 
the nose and skipped ahead three steps before Satoru could argue 
the decision.  He jogged to catch up, feeling relieved that she 
had decided not to run in response.  Apparently, he had paid 
enough penance for his mathematical arrogance.

     The Cafe Pierrot wasn't a very popular spot for high school 
kids; it was mostly a haunt for well-to-do college students and 
successful graduates.  Satoru felt a little strange entering the 
place, but he rationalized that since he was going to be a college 
student in a few weeks, he'd be okay.
     The Cafe served all manner of cuisine and drinks, from any 
country one readily knew about.  The atmosphere was decidedly 
French, with a few tables just outside the building's front 
window, and lightweight furniture inside.
     It was in the late afternoon; the window let in the late rays 
of the day, filtered only by the painted logo.  Satoru and Kaori 
entered, and were seated at the last available table, in a rather 
subdued corner of the cafe.
     "Can I get you anything to drink?"  The waitress clicked her 
pen and flipped to a fresh page on her pad.
     "Two lemonades, please."  Kaori announced.  Satoru wished 
that just once he could order for them.
     "I'll return with them in just a moment!"  The waitress left 
them to a conversation Satoru had waited a long while to start.
     "Did you get the scholarship?"  He looked towards the 
kitchen, trying to seem nonchalant.
     "I sure did!  I got the confirmation letter yesterday 
afternoon.  College is as good as paid for!"  Kaori sounded like 
she was still looking straight at Satoru, but he didn't dare look 
her in the eye.  This wasn't something he enjoyed bringing up.
     "So you're definitely going to college in America?"
     "Well, yeah.  The University of Oregon has better modern 
music and jazz programs than anything around here.  At least, 
anything I could afford."  Kaori's tone seemed to grow a little 
more concerned.  Satoru imagined that she was still smiling, but 
that the smile was probably fading quickly.
     "And you'll be gone all four years?"
     "Satoru, what are you getting at?"
     Satoru felt himself crossing the line between pleasant 
conversation and serious discussion.  He forced himself to look at 
Kaori.  Her smile had weakened somewhat; it seemed to be trying to 
convince itself that it was okay to exist.
     Satoru heard the beginnings of a chuckle, but it stopped 
short.
     "I... I'm..."  He paused, again unsure of how he should 
phrase it.  He closed his eyes, and recited his statement.  "I'm 
going to miss you."  Finally, he added, "A lot."
     "And I'm going to miss you, too.  You're my best friend.  But 
I'll be back.  I promise."
     "You promise?"  The question sounded so pathetic to Satoru as 
it came out that he couldn't believe he had even *considered* 
saying it.  He inhaled sharply and hoped she hadn't heard.
     Kaori smiled motheringly.  "Of course I promise.  Here."  She 
set her arm on the table like she was about to arm-wrestle.  Her 
pinkie pointed out at the end of her fist.
     "A pinkie swear?"  Satoru chuckled in disbelief.
     "I wouldn't joke if I were you.  Now, get it up here!"
     Satoru had to smile at the melodrama of it all.  "Okay, okay!  
I believe you!"  He reluctantly linked his pinkie with hers.  
"You'll write me letters, right?"
     "I will write you letters..." she closed her eyes and 
repeated his words solemnly.
     "And you'll call me?"
     "I will call you..." she smiled, her eyes still closed.  "But 
I'll call collect."
     Satoru gaped.  "Not from America you won't!"  The pair began 
to snicker, and that mutual giggle turned into a full-blown laugh 
by the time the waitress arrived with their lemonades.  When 
Satoru realized the waitress was setting down their lemonades, he 
yanked back his pinkie and stared intensely at the icy drinks.
     "Don't tell me you're trying to impress the waitress," Kaori 
chided when they were once again alone.  Satoru looked up 
shamefully; Kaori's gray eyes beamed.
     "Don't you *ever* get depressed?"  Satoru took a sip of his 
lemonade.
     "Nope."
     "How do you do it?"
     "That's a secret."  Kaori turned her attention to her drink.
     "Aww, c'mon.  You can tell me."  Satoru grinned.
     "This is really good lemonade.  I think I'll order another."
     "If you do, you're paying for it," Satoru huffed.  "And don't 
try to change the subject."
     "Forget it, Nobata," Kaori drained the glass.  "I'll never 
tell.  You can torture me, kill me, but I'll never tell.  Never!"  
Kaori's smirk challenged Satoru's pride.
     "You're beyond insane, you realize."
     "But of course."  Kaori made eye contact with the waitress 
and shook her glass.  The waitress nodded and headed to the 
kitchen.
     After they finished, Satoru paid, and they returned home.  
Their homes stood across the street from each other in a quiet 
residential area.  This was not by accident; their families had 
been friends since before either of them had been born.  And when 
they were born, it was a week that separated them.
     "See ya."  They parted ways near Kaori's door, comfortable in 
their friendship and confident in their futures.
     When it came time for Kaori to board her flight to Oregon, 
Satoru wasn't so confident.  He had to come up with seven separate 
excuses as to why his eyes were "mysteriously watering."  When he 
finally used "there's something in my eye again," Kaori smiled and 
stepped close.
     She kissed him on the cheek.
     "Thank you, Satoru."  Her whisper barely made it to Satoru's 
ears.  Satoru touched his cheek as she stepped back.
     Kaori seemed to turn in slow-motion; Satoru thought he saw a 
tear fall to her cheek, and realized the airport was fading from 
view.
     She was all he saw; 17 years of Kaori flashed in front of him 
as she turned to pick up her bag.  She evolved in that single 
action.  Kaori considered the backpack for a moment as the curious 
red-haired pre-schooler with a chubby face and dimples.  She 
reached for it as the lanky tomboy with too-long legs and too-
short hair.  As she hefted the bag, she became the girl who could 
run faster than all the boys.  And always she had that smile; that 
smile could melt ice.
     And as she walked to the gate, she was everything she had 
been before that moment, and somehow just a little more.  With her 
chin up, shoulders back, walking steps measured and prepared, she 
boarded the plane

     Kaori called collect when she landed at Portland Airport, and 
again when she landed at the Eugene Airport, a hundred miles south 
of Portland.  Once at the university, she wrote him five letters, 
and he responded five times.  The letters were comfortably long, 
and spoke highly of the campus, and of her classes.  Satoru talked 
a little about Nekomi Tech, and about his work as a chemistry 
major.
     She mentioned Ryan and Ami, her "new friends," a few times.  
She even sent a couple of pictures with her third letter, but for 
the most part, the letters remained a jealously private matter 
between her and Satoru.  They talked about themselves, and asked 
concerned but lightweight questions about the other.  Every 
question was answered, even though the answers were often short, 
joking statements.  Satoru looked forward to the day when the 
letter from Kaori came in the mail; when she stopped sending them, 
he went into a funk that lasted for two weeks.  That was when he 
ran into Yumiko and Ichiro.  Literally.

     "Sorry, I wasn't looking," Satoru mumbled the apology.  He 
had been looking down, lost in thought, when he nearly ran over a 
very tall, and equally slight, blond man.  The shorter girl beside 
him chuckled quietly as her companion picked himself up.
     "Not a problem.  Say, maybe you can settle something for us."  
The man stood and brushed off his pant legs.  "What's the best 
place for dinner around here?  We've been trying to find one good 
place around here all term, but we just can't..."
     "...Cafe Pierrot."  The name pushed itself from Satoru's 
lips.  It had been on his mind just before.  He stared at a leaf 
on the sidewalk as the thoughts picked up again.
     "Cafe Pierrot.  Can't say I've heard of it.  But, we're not 
from around here, so..."
     Satoru blinked himself back into reality.  "It's not too far 
from here, but not really close either.  What kind of food do you 
like?"
     "Italian."  Both answered simultaneously.
     "Me too.  The Cafe Pierrot has a decent international menu. 
It may have changed since the last time I was there, but it used 
to have a really good lasagna."  Satoru smiled.  "I'm sorry.  My 
name's Satoru.  Satoru Nobata."  He bowed quickly.
     "Pleased to meet you."  The man bowed deeply.  "I'm Ichiro 
Sugimoto, and this is Yumiko Kitamura."  He motioned to the girl 
next to him, who nodded demurely.  "We're living in the dorms near 
the Engineering building."
     "Pleased to meet you.  I live a few buildings down, across 
from the Chemistry building."
     "Very cool.  Say, Yumiko and I were just about to order some 
take-out.  Would you like to join us?"
     Satoru brightened immediately.  "I'd love to."
     Ichiro chuckled nervously and motioned Satoru to a private 
conference a few steps away from Yumiko.  "I hate to ask you so 
early in our friendship, but I'm a little strapped for cash at the 
moment.  Can you pay for yourself?"  He laughed nervously.
     Satoru grinned.  "Not a problem.  Why don't I pay for the 
whole thing?  I bumped into you in the first place; and I should 
apologize somehow."
     "Oh, I couldn't..."  Ichiro seemed less than enthusiastic in 
his refusal.  Satoru's grin widened.
     "Oh, but I insist."
     "Thank you!  Your hospitality becomes you.  Now, lead on, 
Satoru Nobata."
     "Where?"
     "To your dorm room, of course!"  Ichiro stepped back beside 
Yumiko and smiled.  "My room's a mess, and nobody's ever seen 
Yumiko's room..."  Yumiko giggled and looked away.  "That leaves 
your room.  So lead on!"

     After consideration, Satoru decided Yumiko and Ichiro 
reminded him a little of Kaori and himself when they were in 
junior high.  Though, he never saw too much of himself directly in 
Ichiro.  The pair was fun-loving, perhaps a bit too much, and made 
a point of not liking each other too much.  Yumiko was straight-
forward, like Kaori, but not so effervescent.  She shied away from 
outdoor sports, but watched them if Ichiro played.
     Ichiro's lean musculature implied an athletic slant, and he 
was indeed good at sports in general, but seemed to take little 
interest in them.  Satoru figured this was because of Yumiko, but 
he never pressed the point to Ichiro.  On the whole, he seemed a 
good complement to Yumiko; when they were seen, they were 
together, always smiling or just about to.
     Satoru's dorm room soon became the nexus for the activities 
of the group.  He had the television and the stereo, and seemed to 
be the only one of the three with any money whatsoever.  It was a 
Tuesday night in early November when Satoru decided they would 
meet at Ichiro's room for a change.

November 4th, 1997
     "Aww, man!  Why my room?"  Ichiro complained over the phone.  
"You've got all the goodies in your room."  Satoru audibly 
frowned.
     "Look, I don't want to meet at my place.  We're just going 
out to pizza anyway.  We'll be at your place for a minute, two 
tops.  Yumiko knows where it is, right?"  Satoru grinned.
     "Very funny, Nobata.  Fine, we'll meet at my place, but 
you're not coming into my room."
     "Why?  Afraid I'll see all the nasty posters you have on your 
ceiling?"  Satoru could hear Ichiro growl on the other end, and 
chuckled nervously.  "I'm joking!  Just a joke!  Okay, we'll wait 
outside the building for you."
     "This is your treat, right?"
     "You two can owe me.  I'll be over in a sec, 'kay?"
     "You know I won't pay you back."  Ichiro was smiling.
     "I'm keeping track of your tab."
     "What's it at?"
     "You don't wanna know.  I'll see you in a minute.  Bye!"
     "See ya."
     Satoru hung up the phone and put on his shoes.  He was at the 
door when the phone rang.  He wondered what Ichiro could want now.
     "Now what?"  He answered the phone on the third ring.
     "...He.. Hello?"  The voice at the other end was a girl's.  
Very soft, almost inaudible over the background noise.
     "Hello?  Who is this?"
     "...I'm sorry... I must have the wrong number."  The line 
died after those words.  Then his mind caught up with his ears.
     "Kaori!"  But it was way too late.
     Satoru dialed Ichiro.  "Ichiro?  Look, why don't you guys 
meet me here, 'kay?  Bye."  He hung up as quickly as possible.      
"What if she calls back and I miss it?  She sounded terrible.  
What's going on?  Where is she?"  The thoughts at the front of his 
brain refused to remain silent.  Possibilities flashed through 
Satoru's mind faster and more vividly than he cared to consider.
     "Please call me back,"  Satoru pleaded with the phone.  
"Please?"
     Ichiro knocked on Satoru's door.  Yumiko was only two steps 
behind.
     "Why the sudden change of plans?"  Ichiro was smiling but 
nervously so.  "You sounded like you'd just seen a ghost."
     "I might have."  The response didn't sit well with either of 
the guests; they sat on the floor and watched Satoru stare at the 
phone.
     "Is the phone trying to attack you?"  Yumiko smiled as she 
said it.  Satoru didn't respond except with a 'shhh'.  The silence 
seeped into the room between the voices from outside.  It was 
almost too thick for Yumiko to bear, and she shifted loudly on the 
floor.
     When the phone rang, it shocked all three of them.  Satoru 
answered before the ring ended.
     "Kaori?"
     "Sa... Satoru?"
     "It's me.  What's wrong?"
     "Can you...?"
     "Yes?"
     "Can you pick me up at the airport?"
     "Which one?"
     "Haneda.  Please hurry."
     "Which gate?"
     "I... I don't know..."
     "Okay.  I'll meet you in the main lobby.  Does that sound 
okay to you?"
     "...Yes."  A pause.  "Thank you, Satoru."
     "You're welcome, and you hang on, okay?  I'll be there in 
just a second."
     "Thank you, Satoru."  Kaori sounded calmer, but still so 
strange.  Satoru tried to chalk it up to not hearing her voice in 
such a long while, but it didn't seem to fit into that rationale.
     "Ichiro, I need you to drive me to Haneda Airport.  Now."  
Satoru was already at the door, in his coat and shoes, waiting 
impatiently.
     "Sure, but why?"
     "My best friend Kaori needs a ride home, and she doesn't 
sound well."  Satoru's voice caught both Yumiko and Ichiro by 
surprise.  Even at his most serious, he never sounded this 
intense.  Yumiko stood and got her coat.
     "We'd be glad to help you out.  Any friend of yours..."
     "Thanks, Yumiko, but we gotta hurry.  So, shall we?"
     The ride to the airport was interminably long.  Ichiro was 
flooring it, but the tiny Civic wasn't making much headway past 
120 kph.  They lucked out, and didn't get caught by the police, 
even though Satoru promised to pay any tickets.  When they arrived 
at the airport, Satoru ran inside while Ichiro and Yumiko looked 
for a parking spot.  He sprinted into the main waiting area, 
scanning the weary faces.  None were hers.
     "Kaori!"  Satoru shouted with all the power his lungs could 
muster.  "Kaori Akazawa!"  He only hoped she could hear him.
     "Satoru," Kaori seemed to exhale her thankfulness.  Satoru 
whipped his body around to see her standing beside him, with one 
suitcase and an exhausted smile on her face.
     "Are you okay?  You sounded like you were in trouble."
     "I'm sorry, Satoru.  I didn't mean... to upset you."  Kaori 
looked at the floor as Satoru picked up her suitcase.
     "Is this all you brought?"
     Kaori nodded slowly.
     "My car's outside.  Actually, I got a ride from a friend, so 
it might be a little cramped."  Kaori followed Satoru outside, 
where Yumiko was waiting.
     "Ichiro's double-parked, so we'd better hurry."  Yumiko saw 
Kaori and smiled.  "Hello, you must be Kaori.  My name's Yumiko."
     "Pleased to meet you."  Kaori avoided Yumiko's concerned gaze 
and followed the pair to Ichiro's car.  Ichiro was leaning against 
the driver's side door, none too happy about the parking ticket he 
had received while waiting.
     "You're covering this, right?"  Ichiro waved the ticket in 
his hand.
     "Yeah yeah sure.  Just open the trunk, okay?"  Ichiro 
grudgingly complied.
     Once they were all in the car, Ichiro finally smiled.  "So, 
where are we off to?"  He turned to look back at Satoru and Kaori.  
Kaori looked up from Satoru's shoulder with a gray, watery gaze, 
but kept her arms firmly wrapped around his arm.  Ichiro stifled a 
chuckle; she looked a bit like a frightened koala.
     "Your parents are probably worried," Yumiko offered.
     "Yeah, maybe we should head to your house."  Satoru scanned 
Kaori's face for a reaction, but it remained still for a few 
moments before she shook her head.
     "Let's just go to your place," she half-whispered.
     "But don't you think...?"  Yumiko began to say something, but 
when she turned to make eye-contact with Kaori, the expression she 
caught made her bite her tongue.
     Ichiro was the first to speak again.  "We still need to order 
that pizza."
     "Actually, I think it might be best if... you know."  Satoru 
felt Kaori's head rest once again on his shoulder.  "I don't want 
to sound rude, but this *is* a little unexpected, and I think that 
maybe Kaori and I would do best if..."
     "Say no more!" Ichiro announced.  "We can survive without 
you.  If you could lend us 2000, I think we'll be fine."  Satoru 
saw Ichiro smiling in the rear-view mirror.  He sighed and reached 
for the wallet.
     "I don't need it *now*.  You have other problems."
     Satoru exhaled with relief.
     "You can give it to me at your place."
     Satoru felt Kaori smile as he fumed.  She pressed herself 
closer, and exhaled in what sounded like comfortable satisfaction.  
Satoru felt her breathing even out a little, and figured she was 
already asleep.  He smiled and looked out the tiny window.  Lights 
passed by, screaming white then red.  Satoru wondered if the 
drivers were chasing after somebody.  He felt Kaori squeeze a 
little closer, and wanted to return the closeness, but something 
stopped him.  Drops hit the windows softly; it had finally started 
raining.

November 5th, 1997
9:47 AM.

     "Can I come in yet?"
     "Just a second," Kaori called from inside Satoru's room.  
Satoru stood in the hall, hoping nobody would notice that he was 
in his pajamas.  He knocked on the door again.
     "C'mon, Kaori.  I'm freezing out here."  It wasn't entirely a 
lie.  He looked down the hall again, and cringed.  The one person 
he didn't want to see turned around and smiled.
     "Hey, Nobata!"
     Satoru nodded half-heartedly and tried desperately to act 
cool.  "Hi, Ishiki."
     "Going to class in your underwear, eh?  I respect a man who 
can live out his dreams, you know?"  Masao Ishiki's smile widened.  
Satoru felt his ears heat up.  "Well, don't forget to take notes." 
     Satoru hung his head.  "Why me?"
     He felt his world fall out from behind him.  When he hit the 
ground, he saw Kaori, dressed in trousers and a tee-shirt, looking 
down on him.
     "Leaning against the door?  You pervert."
     Satoru instinctively covered his eyes.  "Nonono!  I 
wasn't..."  He took a peek from between tense fingers.  "Oh.  
You're dressed."  Pulling himself up to his knees, he frowned.  "I 
wasn't leaning.  I was stepping backwards.  Now, wait outside.  
*I* need to get dressed."
     Kaori nodded, grinning maliciously.  "Yes, sir.  You can 
count on me, sir.  I won't let you down, sir."  She turned to him 
just outside the doorway.  "Don't open the door too quickly 
though.  You might catch me peeking."  She stuck out her tongue 
and shut the door behind her.
     Satoru could feel the heat in his ears flow fiercely across 
the rest of his face.  He could just see Kaori deriving as much 
enjoyment from seeing him blush as Masao had.  He tossed off his 
pajamas and dressed hurriedly.  As he yanked the door open, he 
half-hoped he could actually catch her unaware.  But Kaori didn't 
fall in on him.
     In fact, he didn't see Kaori at all.
     "Kaori?"  Satoru mumbled to the air.  He poked his head out 
the doorway.  No Kaori to the left.  "Kaori," he repeated.  No 
Kaori to the right, either.  "Kaooooori!  Where are you?"  He 
didn't say it too loud as he stepped out of his room into the 
hallway.
     Satoru locked the door to his room and stepped cautiously 
towards the front door of the dorm.  He didn't dare let his guard 
down.  He knew she was planning something.  "But, if she's outside 
already," he mused.  "I'd look pretty stupid creeping out like..."
     "Gotcha!"
     "Aaaaarrgh!"  Satoru felt hands grabbing him by the 
shoulders.  He whipped around.  "Why you little..."  He growled 
and looked down at Kaori.  She was smiling.
     Honestly smiling.
     "You fall for that *every* time!  You really need to work on 
your peripheral vision."  She giggled and trotted past him to the 
front door.  "Well, are you coming or not?"
     Satoru hadn't seen Kaori smile since she left for college.  
Not since she had...
     "Satoru!"  When Satoru shook his head back into the real 
world, he saw Kaori.  She wasn't smiling anymore.  "Let's go!  You 
said the cafeteria closes at ten."
     "Right!  Sorry!"  He jogged up to her.  "I was just 
thinking..."
     "This isn't a time to think," Kaori stated as she opened the 
front door.  "This is a time to eat."  She motioned to the bright, 
crisp outside.  "Shall we?"

     "Breakfast at one college cafeteria is the same as breakfast 
at any other college cafeteria, if you think about it."
     This was the lesson Kaori set out to teach Satoru.  She 
expounded upon the starchy, flour-covered similarities that lay 
hidden in even the most indigenous meals.  For as much as each 
society claimed to be unique in their culinary presentations, all 
the ingredients were essentially the same, coming from the same 
warehouse somewhere in the Pacific.
     "At least," she finished while chewing, "that's what I heard 
on the radio."  She reached for a glass of juice, but her hand 
wasn't open wide enough, and she knocked it over instead.
     "Ack!"  Kaori gasped as the contents flowed from the glass to 
the table.  "I'll be right back!"  And she ran off to find as many 
napkins as possible.
     Satoru could think of no other words.  "Weird," he murmured.  
"Simply weird."  To say that he had heard the majority of what she 
had just said, let alone understood that much would have been an 
exaggeration.  At the moment, however, Satoru's mind was wandering 
beyond the spilt juice and conspiracy theories.
     He remembered fifth grade well.  Lunch time in fifth grade 
wasn't easy for any of the kids.  Rumors about the origins of the 
food and the people who served it abounded.  And eating it was no 
picnic, either.  But his thoughts didn't linger on the food for 
very long; he later thanked himself for that.
     He remembered seeing Kaori running across the grassy play 
field after school.  She wasn't on the track that surrounded the 
field; she had run on it often enough before to make this incident 
seem unusual.  So, Satoru stopped to take a quick look.  "Just a 
little glance to see what's going on," he had justified in a 
whisper.  She didn't know he was watching, and he supposed that 
was a good thing.
     She was just trying to run, not anything else special.  Just 
run.  But she tripped.  Satoru assumed that it was a rock or maybe 
a dirt clod that caught her foot.  She got up, dusted off her bare 
knees, and continued.  This time, she ran harder than before, 
leaning forward for an imaginary finish line.
     She tripped again.  This time, Satoru saw that there was no 
rock or dirt clod.  She didn't really fall all the way to the 
ground; she caught herself with her hands and sprang back up.  And 
she was running again.  Her arms pumped in time with her legs, 
faster, faster.  He could hear a distant growl, light from 
distance, and too familiar to be anybody else's.  Her cry caught 
in her throat, and she tripped again.
     Satoru turned and walked the long way home around the other 
side of the school.  He didn't see her that evening.  When he did 
see her the next day, he didn't mention what he saw.  He never 
mentioned it to her.  He eventually realized, after *those* 
classes on *that* subject, that it probably had something to do 
with her growth spurt; she was taller than him that year.  But he 
never really bothered to keep the memory in the front of his mind.  
He did notice that she didn't play much on the field that year.  
But the next year, she was playing as well as she ever had.
     The memory felt both out of place and perfectly appropriate, 
resurfacing after so many years.  There it was, floating before 
him like so many sparkles of nothing.  When he focused his eyes 
away, he saw Kaori approaching, carrying more napkins than he had 
previously seen associated with any one person.
     Satoru tried to look busy helping with the spill.
     "There!"  Kaori dumped the two gargantuan handfuls of napkins 
on the creeping orange mess.  "That should do it."  After a few 
moments of fervent soaking, she took the sopping napkins to a 
nearby trash can.
     "I think we've done all the damage we can do here," Satoru 
mumbled.  "Why don't we head back."
     Kaori lowered her gaze to her tray.  "You're probably right."  
Her voice fell softly to the ground.  Satoru hoped she wasn't 
crawling back into whatever shell she had been in at the airport.  
He turned and started walking towards the tray deposit.
     "We'll do something fun this afternoon.  How's that sound?"
     Kaori didn't say anything.  Since she was behind him, he 
could only imagine that she had nodded or hadn't heard him or...  
His mind, awakened by his recent and more distant memories, raced 
with less hopeful thoughts.
     He could see how they must have looked; him leading the way, 
and Kaori following two steps behind, head low, taking the small, 
obedient steps of someone wilted and vacant.
     "Like what?"  The response came so long after the question, 
it took a few moments for Satoru to figure out what she meant.  He 
put his tray on the blue conveyor belt that eventually disappeared 
behind a wood-paneled wall.
     "I..."  He almost said that he didn't know, but he bit his 
tongue.  "It's a surprise."  He smiled and winked at Kaori, who 
frowned skeptically.
     "Okay," she sighed as she finally relented a smile, "but it 
had better be good."

                         *    *    *    *

     There was a message on Satoru's machine when he and Kaori 
returned to his room.  It was from Ichiro:
     "Hey, Satoru!  How was last night?"  There was a short burst 
of giggling from the background and a sharp, tight 'smack.'  
Ichiro continued.  "Ouch!  Anyway, Yumiko and I got invited to a 
party tonight.  We figured that maybe you and Kaori would like to 
come as well.  You two must be tired of being cooped up in that 
room all alone with nobody to stop you from..."  Another pause for 
giggling and another 'smack.'  "Ouch!  Stop that!  Anyway, if you 
two want to go, give Yumiko a call, okay?  See ya."
     "Well, Kaori, what do you think?  Maybe a nice party?"  
Satoru looked to Kaori; she was lying on his bed, her face to the 
wall.  "Kaori?"
     "That sounds good to me."  The voice floated listlessly 
around the room.
     "We don't have to go.  We can stay here tonight.  But I can't 
promise anything exciting.  Just TV or something..."
     "No, that's okay.  I want to go.  It'll be fun."  Kaori 
rolled over to face Satoru.  She flashed a limp V-sign.  Satoru's 
expression didn't change; Kaori's hand descended to the bed 
slowly.  "What?"
     Satoru shook his head.  "Nothing."  He smiled gently.  "You 
get some sleep.  You look tired."
     "But how will you live without me awake to entertain you?"  
The limpness of her body had overtaken her mouth, making the grin 
she attempted seem like a chore.
     "I'll think of something.  Anyway, I just skipped my lecture 
class today, so I might as well do some reading on it.  I'll put 
some music on if you want."
     "That sounds good.  There's a CD in my suitcase.  Can you put 
that one on?"
     "Sure..." Satoru reached opened the beige suitcase and pulled 
out the CD.  The title was in English, and the band wasn't any he 
had heard of before.  "What is this?"
     "Floater.  They're a band from the university.  Give it a try 
-- you'll like it."
     Satoru opened the case and placed the CD in his stereo.  The 
speakers poured a strange mix of samples and keyboard sounds 
across the room.  Kaori snuggled closer to the wall.
     "Can you put it on track 5 please?  Thanks."
     Satoru complied.
     Though he couldn't understand what was being sung, the 
tortured vocals and heavy guitars suggested something less than 
relaxing.
     <He's dead!>
     "I thought you liked jazz," Satoru wondered aloud.
     <I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>
     "Well, I like this too," Kaori replied tersely.
     <...I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>
     "Why?"  Satoru was glad Kaori couldn't see his visible 
shudder.  "You never used to like *this* stuff."
     <...Now I'm dead!>
     A long pause, then, "I don't know.  I just do now."
     <Something inside keeps telling me I have died...>
     "Don't worry," Kaori continued.  "There are other songs on 
this CD you'd like.  Just keep it on, please?"
     <...Something below keeps pulling me through my soul.>
     Again, Satoru complied.
     <Something inside keeps telling me I have died...>
     "Umm, Kaori?"
     <...Something I know, it makes me numb even though.>
     "Do you know what the lyrics are saying?"
     <Oh God!  I'm dead!>
     Kaori waited a long while to answer.
     <Oh no!  It makes me numb even though!>
     "No."  Her voice caught on the word.  "No, I don't."
     <I was alive, I was alive, I was alive, I was alive...>

     Satoru turned the music down until he could also hear Kaori 
breathing.  Once her breathing slowed and smoothed, he wrote a 
note, left it by the pillow, and left for Ichiro's.

The note by the pillow read:

     Kaori,

     I'm at Ichiro's.  The number is at the bottom of this note.
     Call me when you wake up.

     I'm very sorry.  I didn't want to wake you.

     --Satoru

     "Where's Kaori?"  Ichiro met Satoru at the front door of his 
dorm building.  Satoru had called from the phone just outside the 
front door.  The weather was still crisp, the sky still clear, 
though not as bright as before.  Ichiro wore his leather jacket; 
Satoru wasn't wearing a coat.
     "She's still asleep."  Satoru started walking, his eyes 
blank.  Ichiro caught up with a couple of brisk steps and walked 
beside his friend.
     "So, do you want to go to the party?"  Ichiro's voice was 
still light, but it was beginning to tarnish with concern.
     "I don't know.  I do, I mean, I think Kaori would do well to 
get out a little.  But I don't think she wants to go."
     "Well, we could..."
     "...I mean, she's changed so much.  I don't know if I even 
know her anymore.  She smiled once earlier, an actual smile.  You 
know all those smiles you saw before?"
     "You mean the one time?" Ichiro quipped.
     "They weren't real.  It's like she's...  This is nuts!  Why 
did she come back?  And why isn't she at her parents?  I can't 
keep her in my room forever!  Somebody's going to wise up sooner 
or later.  Even though it *is* a coed dorm, there are rules 
against this, and the way she's acting, she may sleep all term for 
all I know.  And the music she's listening to now!  The stuff's 
downright disturbing, and I don't even know the words!  What's 
going on with her?"
     Ichiro blinked three times and stopped at the corner.  "You, 
my friend, need to get that girl out and about."  He shrugged as 
if it was all so simple.  "She's depressed, and she came back here 
to forget about whatever it is that's depressing her.  And you," 
he pointed an index finger to Satoru's chest.  "You are her way of 
forgetting.  You're her solution.  So start solving, already!"
     Satoru took a long moment to absorb the statements, then 
nodded with determination.  "You're right.  She needs to get out.  
We'll go to that party.  So, where is it?"
     "That's a surprise."  Ichiro winked as he grinned, which made 
Satoru all the more wary.
     "Okay then, can you at least tell me *when* it is?  Or is 
that top-secret too?"
     "It'll start around seven, and will probably go for a while.  
I'll provide the ride if you provide pizza afterwards."
     Satoru nodded.  "That is an acceptable solution," he stated 
officiously.
     Ichiro saluted his friend.  "Sir, you won't be disappointed, 
sir."  With that, he started walking back to his dorm.  Satoru 
checked the time, then headed back to his own room.

6:42 PM.
     "It'll be fun.  I *promise*," Satoru reassured Kaori for the 
third time in as many minutes.  "You need to get out, anyway.  
Being cooped up in my room is no way to spend your evening..."
     "And mingling with a bunch of drunk, dirty-minded boys is a 
*good* way to spend my evening?"
     "Nobody's getting drunk."  Satoru hoped he was right.  
"Ichiro's usually pretty good about the parties he chooses."  
Satoru flipped through all the times that statement had turned out 
to be true.  Both of them.
     "Two out of five isn't *that* bad," he rationalized under his 
breath.  He decided not to count all the stories Ichiro had told 
him.
     As they waited outside Satoru's dorm, the wind brushed frozen 
air past their cheeks.  Kaori shivered in her coat.  She was still 
in her trousers and tee-shirt, despite Satoru's protests.  She had 
packed a dress, but when Satoru pointed it out, she refused to 
wear it.
     "You'll stick with me, okay?"  Kaori sounded more like a 
parent than a friend.
     "I will."  He rubbed his nose with gloved hands.  "Don't 
worry."
     "I'm not worried about *me*."  She smiled and turned in time 
to see Satoru drop his jaw.
     "Yeah, right, like anybody will go for me right now!  
Especially with you right next to me!"
     "You saying I'd scare 'em off?"
     "I'm not saying anything anymore," he smirked as Ichiro's car 
pulled up.  Satoru opened the rear door and motioned dramatically.  
He could see Kaori's giggle on the frigid air, but he was unable 
to hear it.
     After a rather winding drive along narrow roads, the car came 
upon a house.  A very large and equally familiar house.  Satoru 
felt the little confidence he still had in his previous claims 
crash into the floor of the car with a dull 'thud.'
     "The party's *here*?!?"  Satoru banged his head against the 
chilly window a couple of times and cursed.
     "I'll explain later," Ichiro felt Satoru's icy stare drill 
deep into the back of his skull.  He hoped Satoru wouldn't kill 
him before he had a chance to park the car.
     "I always wanted to go to a party here!"  Satoru exclaimed 
after a desperate silence.  Ichiro looked at Yumiko in confusion.  
Yumiko returned the look.
     "But you said you hated..."
     "Ichiro," Satoru gritted.
     "...Masao, but you two must have reconciled!  I'm so happy!  
This is truly a wondrous day!  And what better place to celebrate 
than at his parents' mansion?  I love happy endings!"
     "Don't overact *too* much," Yumiko whispered.
     "Sorry."

     The party as a whole was subdued compared to some of the 
experiences Ichiro felt compelled to talk about on occasion.  The 
guests as individuals were mostly stationary, maybe swaying a 
little, maybe talking some, mostly eating, and definitely 
drinking.  Drinking a lot and drinking it often.
     "Okay, so Ichiro was wrong.  It's been known to happen."  
Satoru looked sheepishly at Kaori, who was making a rather large 
point of not smiling.  "From time to time."
     "Hey, baby, you ain't got nothing back there!"  A random hand 
flew at Kaori from behind and landed firmly below the belt.  "You 
must be a gymnast, or maybe a track girl?"  She grabbed it with a 
grip that produced a small cry from the hand's owner.
     "I do not yet know how I am going to take my revenge on you, 
Nobata," the girl snarled as she squeezed, and the owner's cry 
grew.  "But mark my words..."  The person connected to the now 
purple hand tried to pull it away, but failed.  Kaori's grip 
tightened.  "...I will take it slowly, and I will savor every 
moment of it."
     "I'm sorry!  Pleeeease, let me go!  I'll never do it again!"  
The voice was turning heads, and the heads began to snicker.  
Kaori lowered her gaze and grinned.
     "No.  You won't."
     Satoru could only blink as Kaori passed him on her way to the 
hour d' erves.  "Are you okay?" was the only thing he could say, 
despite knowing that it was a somewhat understated question.
     Kaori smiled as she reached for the offerings of a random 
platter.  "Never better!"  Her voice sugared to the point of 
excess.  Satoru felt a wince growing in his shoulders.  "I'm in a 
crowded room with a bunch of rich perverts, listening to music my 
little sister wouldn't like, hoping to God these crab cakes are 
good."  She took a bite.  "Well, at least this party isn't a 
*complete* waste," she grumbled.
     "Look, I think you just need to relax and mingle a little.  
These people," he glanced across the room and realized he was 
about to lie.  "They're not bad, once you get to know them.  
They're just a little... loose at the moment."
     Kaori shrugged.  "Whatever," she waved him away as she would 
a mosquito.  "Have fun, or whatever you call this.  I'll be 
against the wall, guarding my nothing."
     "Okay, just let me find Ichiro, and we'll get out of here."  
Satoru craned his neck and scanned the room.  Given his height, 
the boy shouldn't have been hard to spot.  Unfortunately, Satoru 
found that a number of the richer families had unusually tall 
children.  He reasoned it wasn't genetic, rather it was just what 
was required to make his job as hard as humanly possible.
     "The first time I actually find somebody I *want* to easily," 
he gnarled, "I'll build a shrine to that person then and there."
     Aside from the lightest of conversations with the various 
drunk party-goers, Satoru said nothing more at the party for a 
good amount of time.  Three songs flew by as he pushed his way 
past the ever-growing number of guests, in search of Ichiro, or 
Yumiko, or, towards the end, even Kaori.  This worried him.  He 
knew she wasn't about to take his advice, nor would she leave 
without him.  Unless that was her revenge.
     "It's rather poetic, now that I think about it," he noted 
bitterly under the stiff dance beat.  "I suffer here for eternity 
while she escapes to anywhere.  Clever girl."
     Two songs later, he realized that, as tempting as it must 
have been, she was still at the party, albeit coming from an 
unexpected corner. Yumiko was nowhere to be seen, but Ichiro was 
about three or four people behind Kaori; Ichiro and Satoru made 
eye contact, and Satoru tapped his watch.  As he pushed through 
the crowd to the front door, Ichiro revealed a huddling Yumiko 
standing in front of him, practically riding on his shoes.
     "You three are a pleasant sight."  Satoru opened the door, 
which allowed four more people to enter.
     "Well," Ichiro beamed, "now that we've been replaced, shall 
we be off?"

     As soon as Ichiro dropped Satoru and Kaori off, he turned 
immediately to Yumiko, who was looking thoughtfully at her hands.  
"Did you see what I saw?"  His voice was excited, but there was no 
happiness there.
     "You mean at the party?"
     Ichiro and Yumiko were already in front of the former's dorm 
before he spoke again.  "What are we going to tell Satoru?"
     Yumiko stopped suddenly.  Ichiro took two steps to react and 
turned around as she began speaking.
     "We'll tell him the truth."
     "What do you'll think he'll do?"
     "I don't know."  Yumiko shrugged.  "Neither of us do, and 
that's the scary thing.  We don't know Satoru that well.  We've 
been friends with him for a few weeks, but that's nothing compared 
to the history he and Kaori have.  I don't even know if he'll 
believe us."
     "I hope he does."
     "Me too."  She paused, then said plainly, "I hope he kicks 
Masao's ass."
     Ichiro blinked a few times.  "Me too," he finally agreed.  
The boy turned back towards his dorm.  "You know, you're really 
cute when you're bloodthirsty."
     "Thank you.  Good night."
     "Good night."

November 6th, 1997
11:48 AM.
     "The three cardinal trapezoidal formations, hereto made 
orientable in our diagram by connecting the various points HIGK, 
PEGQ, and LMNO, creating our geometric configurations which have 
no properties, but with location, are equal to the described 
triangle CAB quintuplicated.  Therefore, it is also the five 
triangles composing the aforementioned NIGH each are equal to the 
triangle CAB in this geometric concept!  Therefore, in a like 
manner, the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral 
sum.  This is your assignment, and I would like to see the results 
tomorrow."
     Satoru chuckled in hopeless confusion.  "Maybe it's not too 
late to become a monk," he considered sullenly.  The bell tolled 
the end of the class; it had never sounded sweeter to him than at 
that moment.  He shook Ichiro awake.
     "What did the prof say?"  Ichiro put on his coat, and picked 
up his backpack.
     "He told us we were all hopelessly stupid and proceeded to 
show us how hopelessly stupid we really were."  Satoru grinned in 
spite of himself.
     "Did you take good notes?"
     "Yeah, sure.  Real good notes."
     The pair exited the lecture hall, moving slowly.  "Wow, the 
whole class looks beat," Ichiro noted.  As they looked out ahead 
of them, they saw 150 hopeless souls pondering a change in major.
     "You slept through the worst academic experience human 
civilization has ever known."  Ichiro saw Satoru's expressionless 
face, and became rather concerned.
     "So, it's gonna be on the test?"
     Satoru didn't answer.  Ichiro wrote it off and changed the 
subject without pause.
     "What are you and Kaori doing today?"
     "Nothing, really.  Why?"
     "Yumiko wanted to know if Kaori would like to go shopping 
with her.  It'd probably do her some good."
     "I guess so.  You'll have to ask her, though."
     "Yumiko already has."
     "Then why are you even bothering to tell me?"
     "Oh, I don't know.  Maybe it's just my incredibly strong 
sense of courtesy."
     "Covering your butt, eh?"
     "You got it."  Ichiro flashed a smile and a thumbs up.
     "So I guess it's just you and me then."
     "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you."
     "About what?"
     "After lunch.  First, we must feast."
     "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
     "If that's not a feast, I don't know what is."
     "You're strange."
     "Hey, don't knock the chicken pot pie."
     "I had no intention of disparaging your chicken pot pie.  I 
just said you were a weirdo."
     "That's better."

12:02 PM.
     "Thanks for going with me.  I hate to shop alone."  Yumiko 
smiled hopefully as she walked into the lobby of the store.  Racks 
of clothes of various fashions and sizes greeted the pair of 
girls.  Kaori was quiet; she hadn't said more than couple of words 
during the whole ride there, but the silence didn't strike Yumiko 
as uncomfortable.  She'd just have to try a little harder to get 
Kaori to open up.
     "What do you think of this one?"  Yumiko snatched a autumn 
floral-print dress and sweater from the first rack on the left.  
Kaori shrugged.
     "I don't like dresses much."
     "Oh."  Yumiko shrugged.  "I'm not much for florals anyway."
     "I'm sorry."
     "What?"
     "I'm sorry for dragging you down.  I didn't get much sleep 
last night."
     "That's okay.  Say, why don't we get some lunch.  Shopping on 
an empty stomach isn't too much fun."
     Kaori smiled.  "That sounds like a plan.  I know this place 
downtown that you'd probably like."
     Lunch consisted of lasagna and lemonades at the Cafe Pierrot.  
As Kaori finished her second lemonade, Yumiko considered whether 
what she was about to say would be too much too soon.  It didn't 
matter, though; she was going to have to say it sooner or later.
     "I saw what happened at the party," Yumiko tried to sound as 
sympathetic as possible.  "With Masao."
     Kaori set the tall thin glass on the table with a loud 
clatter of shifting ice.  "Don't tell Satoru."     
     Yumiko pursed her lips.  "Do you want to talk about it?"
     "Not really.  Just don't tell Satoru."
     "I won't, but Ichiro probably will.  He saw it too."  Before 
Kaori could say anything in reaction, Yumiko added, "We're behind 
you, Kaori.  You did what was right."
     Kaori sighed.  "Thank you."  She stirred the straw in her 
glass.  The shifting ice made lightly musical clinking sounds.  
Yumiko let the moment hold before continuing.
     "Why did you come back, Kaori?"
     "You're rather direct today.  I didn't figure you for a busy-
body."
     Yumiko frowned.  "I'm just looking out for my friends.  We're 
all worried about you, but if you're not going to tell us why 
you're back, we can't help you."
     "I just needed to get away for a while."
     "Get away from whom?"
     Kaori looked up from her glass suddenly.  "Nobody," she 
immediately responded.
     "Okay, I believe you.  You just needed a little vacation."  
Yumiko raised her hands apologetically.
     "I missed Satoru..."  Kaori began.  She paused, considering 
her glass again.
     "Yes?"
     "Don't tell Satoru, but I love him."
     "I know."  Yumiko smiled.  "Why did you go to America, then?"
     "Because I didn't know I'd miss him that much."

12:03 PM.
     "Spill it, Ichiro."  Satoru was tired of waiting.
     "What?"
     "You said you needed to talk to me about something.  So, what 
is it?"
     "Let me finish my pot pie, and then we'll talk."
     "So it's not that important, then."
     Ichiro paused.  "Okay, I'll tell you."
     "Thank you."
     "You wouldn't say that if you knew what I was going to say."
     "If I knew what you were going to say, I wouldn't *have* to 
say 'thank you.'"
     "True, true."  Ichiro took a drink.
     "Well?"
     "A second to prepare, please.  This isn't exactly easy."
     Satoru waited.  Ichiro drank.
     "Okay."  Ichiro took a very deep breath and exhaled slowly.  
"You remember the party last night?"
     "I'm trying to put it behind me."
     "Oh, ha ha.  Anyways, you remember when you couldn't find 
Kaori for a little while?"
     "Yeah?"  Satoru leaned forward.  "What are you saying?"
     "Nothing."  Ichiro shrank back.  "Nothing at all."
     "Don't give me that.  What happened?  Something happened to 
Kaori last night.  What was it?"
     "Well, I don't know quite how to say this--"
     "--How about in plain old Japanese?"
     "Okay."  Ichiro waited for a moment before he spoke.  "I 
heard Masao and Kaori... arguing... in one of the bedrooms.  I'm 
not going to guess about what exactly happened in there, but 
Yumiko and I both saw Masao leave the room really angry, so he 
probably didn't get..."  Ichiro tried to look Satoru in the eyes, 
but couldn't raise his head.  "...what he was after.  Kaori left a 
few moments later, and that's when we decided to head back to the 
living room."  Ichiro exhaled.  "That bastard!  Look, I'm sorry--"
     "Don't apologize."
     "But--"
     "No."  Satoru looked at Ichiro's drink.  "May I?"
     "Go right ahead."
     Satoru took a long drink, and sank back into his chair.
     "So, what're you gonna do?"

12:04 PM.
     "Do you think Satoru's going to go after Masao?"  Kaori 
finally asked.
     "You know him better than I do," Yumiko noted.  "I'm not sure 
what he's like when he's mad."
     "He's really a very gentle soul.  He wouldn't do anything 
without reason."
     "I see."
     "He'll probably go ballistic, though."  Kaori grinned.  "When 
we were kids, the boys used to make fun of me because I was too 
tall and a girl and could run faster than all of them.  You know, 
the usual stuff.  Satoru got into a fight defending me when some 
of the boys started pushing me around."  Kaori smiled.  "He's a 
romantic like that."
     "He loves you, too."  Yumiko stated.  "There isn't a day that 
goes by where he doesn't talk about you.  He's told us so many 
stories, I feel like I know you like a long lost friend.  That's 
why we're all so worried about you."
     "Thank you.  But I don't know if he loves me anymore."
     "Sure he does.  When you called from the airport, he was 
worried sick about you.  We all were, but he was nuts.  He only 
wants to see you get better.  Whatever that takes, he'll do it.  
You know that, too.  So why don't you let him help you?"
     Kaori's eyes welled a little.  "He's so nice to me.  I can't 
ask him to help me, though.  Not this time."  Kaori wiped a slow-
moving tear.  "I shouldn't have come back."
     "Why can't you ask him to help you?  He'll do it."
     "I already owe him too much as it is.  Asking him to do this 
for me now would be too much to ask any friend.  And if I told 
Satoru why..."  Kaori stirred the ice absently.  She felt her 
throat tighten, and her nose stuff up.  "Look at me, crying like a 
baby," she noted between sobs.
     "He'd never leave you.  You and I both know him -- he's too 
loyal to leave you, now or ever.  He'll fight for you until the 
end."
     Kaori smiled and sniffled.  "Thanks."  Again, she wiped a few 
stray tears, and nodded with purpose.  "I'll tell him when we get 
back," she announced.
     "Great!"  Yumiko smiled brightly.
     Kaori slurped the melted ice from her glass.  "Now, you 
wanted to do some shopping?"

12:27 PM.
     "ISHIKI!!"
     Masao Ishiki opened his door casually.  "Hey, Satoru!  Long 
time no see.  Enjoy the party?"  A few muffled chuckles from 
behind the door pricked Satoru's ears.
     "No."
     "I see, well, why don't you write your complaint in a letter, 
and slip it under my door, okay?  I'm a bit busy."
     Satoru shoved himself against the door, bowling Masao back 
into the room, and allowing the furious boy access to the room.
     "Oh, so I see you've talked to Kaori recently."  Ishiki 
grinned mercilessly as he stood.  "Was it good for her too?"
     "You sonuvabitch!"  Satoru lunged for Masao with inhuman 
rage.  He didn't take much notice to the pair of boys looking on 
as he went for Masao's throat and squeezed.
     As words flew enraged from his lips, two sets of punches hit 
home, assaulting his spine and kidneys.  Masao choked something 
unintelligible.  Satoru growled in pain, but continued to hold his 
grip.
     The barrage of punches continued to pummel at his kidneys and 
back until he relented.  As he let go of Masao's neck, Masao's 
fists joined in the beating.
     The sounds from Masao's room resonated musically at the end 
of the hall.  The grunts, the slaps and thumps, the cries without 
words.  It was all in a foreign language, something calmer persons 
would never understand.
     The man at the end of the hall understood the sounds, and 
reacted.  He strode to the open door and saw the jumbled mass of 
writhing bodies sweating violence.  He decided to even things up a 
bit.  What he came for could wait a little longer.
     "Hey!  Leave the kid alone!"  He cried from the doorway.  
Everybody stopped momentarily.  Nobody even breathed except the 
man as he moved like a blur into the confused fray.
     He had the element of surprise, which let him successfully 
attack the topmost boy.  With nightmarish speed and precision, he 
punched the boy repeatedly in the face until he screamed for 
mercy.  When the man stopped pumping his fist, his victim 
scrambled from the room, not even bothering to take his coat with 
him.
     He tried to repeat this same basic maneuver with another boy, 
but the two remaining attackers knew of the new player, and would 
not be surprised again.  He did manage to land a series of punches 
directly on the face of the tall pretty boy.  With his cries, the 
fight ended where it was.  Bruised and slightly bloodied, marked 
with impressions of teeth and lumps from boots, the other boy left 
quickly and silently.
     The boy on the floor didn't move much; he was conscious, 
though.  As he wobbled to his feet, the newcomer turned his 
attention back to his current victim.
     "Apologize."
     "What?"
     "Apologize."
     The boy hesitated, and the newcomer balled his fist.  The boy 
bowed his head and whispered, "I'm sorry."
     The victim coughed and spat red.  "Thanks."
     "You are welcome.  Let's go."  The newcomer led his new 
friend from the room.
     "Where's your room?"
     "Down the hall."
     "Who are you?"
     "I'm Satoru."
     "Satoru Nobata?"
     "The one and only."  Satoru coughed.  "Who do I have the 
pleasure of speaking with?"
     The boy paused.  He was strikingly tall, and his features 
gave his foreign origin away.
     "My name's Ryan Stewart."  The boy paused again, then nodded.  
"I'm pleased... to meet you."
     "Likewise."  Satoru coughed again.
     "I'm looking for Kaori."
     "Really?  Are you from America?"
     Again, the boy paused.  He searched Satoru's room for 
something familiar.  His eyes slowed around the suitcase, and 
stopped at the CD case.  He frowned, and continued.
     "I came by plane today to pick Kaori up.  Where is she?"
     "She should be back in a minute.  She's with a friend of 
mine.  She's okay."
     "I suppose I had better explain why she's here," Ryan 
chuckled nervously.
     "Please do."
     Ryan took a deep breath, and began his story:
     "You see, her roommate Ami is my ex-girlfriend.  When she 
found out that Kaori and I were starting to see each other, she 
tried to stop it.  When we started dating seriously, she became 
strange, calling me at night, questioning my intentions at every 
turn, all sorts of jealous ex-girlfriend stuff.  She even called a 
bar Kaori and I were at to see if we were really there.  We were, 
of course.  I wouldn't do anything to hurt Kaori, especially when 
Ami's watching over my shoulder like a warden.
     "At the beginning of last week, Ami began calling my phone 
with death threats.  She said that if I kept dating Kaori, she'd 
make sure I'd never see her again.  I figured she was going to try 
and kill Kaori, but it was a lot weirder.  A few days ago, she 
bought a plane ticket and packed Kaori's suitcase.  When Kaori 
came home from school, Ami drugged her and put her on the plane 
here.
     "Ami knew that when Kaori got to Tokyo, she'd call either you 
or her parents.  She wanted to keep her away so she could have me 
to herself.  It sounds crazy, but it's true.  She figured that if 
you saw Kaori, that you'd be against me if I ever found out where 
you were.  But you're smarter than that.  You see that I couldn't 
do anything to hurt Kaori.  I think she's very special, just like 
you do.  When Kaori and I go back, we'll sort everything out."
     Satoru furrowed his brow.
     "It sounds crazy, I know.  But you know that truth is 
stranger than fiction.  You can ask Kaori herself when she comes 
back.  When will she be back?"
     "In a couple of minutes," Satoru replied.  His eyes were 
puffing up; his whole body ached.  Slowly, he shook his head.  
"I'm sorry for being so short with you."
     "It's quite all right."  Ryan smiled.  "I probably sound 
crazy, but it's all true."
     "No, that's okay.  Anything can happen."  Satoru sighed.  
"Thank you for helping me back there."
     "It was my pleasure."  Ryan cracked his knuckled proudly.  
"Anything for a friend."
     Satoru tried for a moment, but couldn't hold back the 
question for very long.  "How long have you two been going out?"
     "Oh gosh, it seems like forever, really.  We met right as 
school started in September, and we've pretty much been going out 
ever since."
     "So you two are pretty close?"
     Ryan grinned.  "Confidentially, we're about as close as it 
gets."
     Satoru suddenly wished he hadn't spent so much effort on 
Masao.  "You mean you two have--"
     Ryan caught on, and shook his head emphatically.  "Nonono!  
We're just really close.  It's almost like we're married."
     "M-married?"
     "Yeah.  I didn't say that wrong, did I?  You know, like 
husband and wife."
     "I understand."  Satoru massaged his sore neck.  "Don't rub 
it in," he mumbled.  He chuckled to himself darkly.
     "What?"  Ryan had heard the chuckle.
     "It's funny," Satoru began.  "She didn't really mention you 
much."
     "Hmmm."  Ryan thought very deeply for a time.  "You know, she 
didn't talk much about you, either."  He smiled.  Satoru saw a 
black tint in his blue eyes.  "Maybe she just doesn't talk much."  
He laughed heartily.  Satoru joined in weakly.
     "Look, let me give Kaori's friend a call, and I'll see if 
she's--"
     "I think she's here already."  Ryan motioned to the doorknob.  
It was turning.
     <Hi, Kaori!>  Ryan stood and smiled affectionately.  Kaori 
dropped her bags and blinked.
     <Ryan?>
     <Tee-shirt and jeans?  C'mon, Kaori, you can do better than 
that.  What happened to all the dresses I bought you?  You look a 
*lot* better in them than some ratty old jeans.>
     Kaori sighed.  <I guess I didn't bring any.>
     Ryan chuckled nervously.  <You mean, Ami didn't pack you 
any?>
     Kaori shrugged and flopped on the bed.  When she saw Satoru, 
she gasped.
     "What happened to you?"
     "I got into a fight."
     "With who?"
     "Masao."  Satoru grinned.  "I kicked his ass."
     Yumiko, standing in the doorway, smiled.
     "Good for you."  Kaori smiled.
     "Ryan's here to take you home."
     Kaori looked quickly at Ryan, who smiled warmly.
     "Home?"
     "Back to the University," Ryan confirmed.
     The silence breathed like an animal half-asleep.  Yumiko 
disappeared, leaving the three to their own.  At length, Ryan 
stood and stretched.  Placing his hand on Kaori's head, he 
scruffed her hair playfully.
        "I think we've done all the damage we can do here," he 
noted cheerily; Kaori reached for her suitcase.  "I have a cab 
waiting outside," he continued, "and two tickets to Eugene.  Thank 
you, Satoru, for taking care of her."  He stuck out his hand.  
Satoru shook it absently.
     "No problem."  The words fought their way past the thoughts 
at the fore of his mind.  Kaori stood, stepped up to Satoru, and 
smiled.
     Weakly, she spoke:
     "Thank you."
     "But--"
     "Shh," she smiled, and put her finger on his lips.  "Not a 
word, okay.  I'll be fine.  This won't mean a thing."
     "Kaori," Ryan coaxed.  "Let's go."  The last two words cooled 
on Ryan's lips, and traveled frozen to Satoru's ears.
     "I don't believe you," Satoru stated.
     "Then come after me," Kaori's voice drew black.  "That's what 
you do best, isn't it?  Sometimes I don't need to be chased after, 
you know?  That probably never occured to you, did it?"
     "But I--"
     "Not a word, Satoru!"  She grinned maliciously.  "Go ahead 
and give me a call when you figure it out, okay?"
     Ryan placed his hand on her shoulder, and she turned away.
     "Good-bye, Mr. Nobata," Ryan stated plainly.
     Satoru tried to stand, but his injuries bit at him 
relentlessly.  The door's slam echoed hollow in his ears.  Satoru 
fell to his knees.
     "Kaori..."  He doubled over, and softly cried.

6:52 PM.
     "I'm going after her."
     "But what about what she said?" Ichiro interjected.
     "She didn't mean what she said," Satoru murmured.  He looked 
Ichiro in the eyes.  Ichiro was sitting on the floor; Satoru 
shifted on the bed and winced.  Yumiko frowned.
     "I can't believe they could do all that," she began.
     "There were three of them."  Satoru replied.
     "So, why are we here, other than to be your ever-present and 
willing moral support?"
     "I have a little money stashed away, but I need..."  Satoru 
took a deep breath.  "I need eighty thousand."
     Ichiro blinked.  Yumiko nodded.
     Satoru hung his head.  "Look," he apologized.  "I hate to do 
this, but I can't ask my parents right now.  You're my only 
option."
     A long pause hung on the air.  Then, Ichiro spoke.
     "I'll be right back."
     "Thank you," Satoru began.
     "Don't thank me yet, buddy.  I haven't given you anything."
     "That doesn't matter."  Satoru smiled.
     "I'm staying with Satoru," Yumiko called to the departing 
Ichiro.  "Go ahead and--"
     "--I know."  Ichiro closed the door.
     Satoru uncrossed his legs and tried stretching.  He inhaled 
sharply; Yumiko winced with him.
     "Lay down.  Ichiro will be back in a minute or two."
     Satoru didn't argue.  Yumiko helped him lay on the bed 
slowly.  Her face looked a little different; her actions felt 
subdued, but deliberate.  She sat beside his bed on the floor.
     "I talked with her."  Yumiko spoke softly.
     "Really?"
     "She loves you very much."
     "Did she say that?"
     "No, but I can tell.  She and I are a lot alike, really."
     Satoru nodded.  "Did she tell you why she came back?"
     "I didn't ask, but I don't think you'd need many guesses to 
figure it out."  Yumiko looked at the door.  Her shoulders fell 
forward, and she sighed.
     "Thanks for doing this for me," Satoru offered.
     "Don't thank me.  It's not my money."
     "But Ichiro's always broke.  Where's he going to get eighty 
thousand?"
     "Ichiro's never been broke.  He just likes seeing what he can 
get away with.  He did the same thing to me when we first met."
     "You two are really close, aren't you?"
     "We've known each other since junior-high." Yumiko sounded a 
little proud.
     "Are you two...?"  Satoru hesitated, unsure of the proper 
words to try.
     "We went out for a while in high school, but it didn't work 
out like we had planned."
     "But you're still together."
     "True.  Did you and Kaori ever date in high school?"
     "No, but--"
     "It makes a world of difference."  Yumiko smiled.  "Best 
friends should never date."
     Satoru didn't speak; Yumiko took a deep breath.
     "You and Kaori are best friends, right?  You've known each 
other forever.  But even as best friends, you've always had other 
flames, right?  Like maybe she found a guy she thought was really 
cute, and you helped her, because you were friends.  But it 
probably hurt a lot, didn't it?"
     Satoru continued to lay in silence, looking at the 
photographs stuck on the wall behind Yumiko.  The girl licked her 
lips surreptitiously; she wondered if he was thinking about what 
she was saying, or about what had happened earlier.  Regardless, 
she knew he was thinking about Kaori.
     Yumiko continued.
     "When Ichiro and I started going out seriously, I found out 
all about his posters and magazines.  I didn't know how to resolve 
it, because I was dating him at the time, and wasn't thinking 
clearly.
     "You and Kaori have known each other since you were babies, 
so there probably isn't much you don't know about each other.  I 
do know that what Kaori's doing with Ryan isn't real.  He's done 
something to her.  And I think I know what."
     "What?"
     "I'm not going to say.  I don't want to cloud your head any 
more than it is."
     "But you're saying I should go after her."
     "Yes.  I'm behind you all the way on that.  Because I don't 
want to take the chance that I'm wrong.  And I'm never wrong.  Not 
about this."
     "Did he--"
     "--I told you I wasn't going to say.  Now, not another word.  
Ichiro should be back any second.  We'll give you a ride to the 
airport, and you can take it from there."
     "What about when I get there?  How the heck am I going to get 
around in America?!"  Satoru's voice strangled in his throat.  
Yumiko could see the anxiety begin to play on his face.
     "Okay, stay calm.  Just stay calm.  I have a cousin that goes 
to U of O.  He speaks Japanese and English pretty well, so he can 
act as your interpreter."
     "Will he do that for me?"
     "He'll do it for me.  He owes me a big favor, so he won't 
back out.  Let me give him a call, and I'll set everything up."
     Satoru motioned to the phone.  "Be my guest."  Yumiko stood, 
and poked Satoru's nose.
     "Don't worry, kiddo.  Everything will be all right."
     Satoru froze.  He had never seen Yumiko like this before.  He 
flipped through his memories to find something that would explain 
why she was so open all of a sudden.  He couldn't think of 
anything.  The question gnawed at his mind so deeply, he could 
only barely make out the edges of Yumiko's voice as she spoke to 
her cousin.
     The receiver clicked as Yumiko placed it back on the phone.  
"Alex will pick you up at the airport when you arrive.  I'll just 
give him a call when you leave and tell him to be there when you 
arrive.  Now his Japanese isn't great, but he should be able to 
understand most of what you tell him.
     "Why are you doing all this for me?"
     Yumiko smirked.  "Oh, I just hate to see a good love story go 
down the tubes because of a foreign influence."  She hoped she 
sounded convincing.
     "What did she mean?"  Yumiko changed the subject.
     "What?"
     "You told Ichiro you knew what she meant when she yelled at 
you.  What did she mean?"
     Satoru opened his mouth, but no words came.  He closed it, 
waited a moment, and tried again.  "When we were in high school 
together, I always told her that chasing after her is what I did 
best.  You see, if I got her mad, she'd run away.  Literally.  She 
was a great runner, and she knew I couldn't keep up, so to punish 
me she'd run and of course I'd chase after her.  I think she did 
it just to see me huff and puff after her."  Satoru grinned; 
Yumiko returned the grin.
     "So when she told you to do what you did best she meant to go 
after her."
     "That's what I think she meant.  The whole tirade was a 
little too weird to be honest."
     "Not that it matters, right?"  Yumiko chuckled.
     "True." Satoru chuckled.
     The door opened.  "Well, I had to donate all 12 pints of 
blood I had saved up for a rainy day, but, hey, what's a few 
gallons between friends?"  Ichiro handed Satoru a rolled bundle of 
money.  "A hundred thousand.  I figured you'd want to travel first 
class, of course."
     "Thank you so much."  Satoru felt tears welling up.
     "Just bring Kaori back in one piece, okay?"
     "We'll leave you alone now.  You get some sleep, and call us 
when you want to head out, okay?"  Yumiko stood and turned towards 
the door.
     "Okay."

     Satoru dreamed.
     Punches.  Kicks.  Bites.  Screams choked with strong hands.  
Big hands.  Hands that wanted to kill.
     "You wanted to kill him," Kaori said.
     "I would have.  But they stopped me."
     "Would killing him make you happy?"
     "Yes."
     "Then kill me."  Kaori took off her clothes and became Masao.
     "No."
     "Why not?"  Masao smiled.
     "Because you're--"
     "Kaori?"  Ryan chuckled.  "It's me, Ryan!"
     Satoru looked down.  He was wearing a dress.  More than that, 
his arms were slim, his legs sunbrowned and feminine.  He felt his 
face.  Smooth, like Kaori's.  He was Kaori.  He started shaking 
softly.
     Ryan stepped close.  He was so tall, so strong, all lean and 
meaningful muscle.  His big hands, tight, warm, hugged Satoru.  
"Shh," he murmured.  "Not a word."
     Ryan's hands began to shift, slowly.  Moving down.  Satoru 
shook harder, but couldn't speak, or scream.
     "Shh," Ryan continued.  "Not a word."

     Satoru blinked and realized he was standing outside his dorm 
building.  The first snow of winter floated lazily to the ground.  
Scarcely an inch had fallen, but more than a few students were 
playing about in it like children ten years younger.  He smiled; 
the peaceful scene would surely cheer up Kaori.
     He looked to his right.  Kaori stood next to him, shivering.  
He could hear her teeth chattering.
     "Here," he smiled.  "This'll warm you up."  He took off his 
coat, and placed it on her shoulders.  Kaori snuggled inside it, 
nearly disappearing in its size.
     "Thank you," she whispered.  But still she shivered.  And 
still, her teeth chattered.  It seemed almost worse than before.  
Satoru started unbuttoning his flannel overshirt.
     "Here."  He replaced the coat with the flannel, and replaced 
the coat over it.  Kneeling in front of her, he buttoned both the 
shirt and coat up.  He looked up, and saw Kaori smile.  Her lips 
were blue.  She continued to shiver, violently trying to warm her 
freezing body.  Kaori closed her eyes.  Satoru saw her last breath 
cloud above her nose.
     Satoru looked down.  Kaori was naked from the waist down, 
buried to her hips in pristine snow.

     Satoru awoke again, gasping for a few moments until he 
regained composure.  It was already sunrise.  He called Ichiro's 
room, and, after nearly fainting when Yumiko sleepily answered the 
phone, found that both Ichiro and Yumiko were already awake, 
waiting to take him to the airport.  After packing a backpack of 
clothes and essentials, he turned off his lights, locked his door, 
and steeled himself for a long flight far from home.
     He managed to find a flight in the very early afternoon, and 
spent the remainder of time wandering the airport trying to keep 
his mind off Kaori.  Yumiko and Ichiro usually followed him, 
making jokes and generally helping Satoru in his task of 
preoccupation.
     When it came time board the plane, though, all three fell 
silent for a moment before Ichiro spoke.
     "Give him a couple of good right hooks for me, okay?  I wish 
I could go with you and help with the battle, but I think you 
might do better by yourself.  Just remember who you're fighting 
for, got it?"  He patted Satoru on the shoulder and disappeared 
down a main corridor.
     Yumiko's hands shook a little as she handed Satoru the plain 
white envelope.  "Give this to Alex when you see him, would you?  
Thanks."  She turned to go, but Satoru put his hand on her 
shoulder.
     "Yumiko..."
     Yumiko's head fell forwards, and Satoru felt her shoulder 
tense up.  Before he could react, she spun around and hugged him 
tightly.  They stayed like that for a moment before Yumiko stepped 
away.  She was crying, but smiling.
     "You love Kaori very much, Satoru."  She wiped a tear from 
her left eye.  "Now she'll know that."  Her smiled widened.  "Do 
your best, Satoru Nobata."
     "I will."  Satoru grinned and gave Yumiko a quick thumbs-up.  
With a deep held breath and shaking steps, Satoru boarded his 
flight to America.

November 8th, 1997
6:22 AM.
     "Thank you for picking me up so early in the morning," Satoru 
sounded apologetic.  Which he was.  But he wasn't sure how an 
apology would fly with the yawning cousin of Yumiko Kitamura, so 
he thanked the boy apologetically.  It was the best he could come 
up with after so long a flight.
     The boy continued to yawn for a lengthy moment.  He seemed to 
indulge himself in it, stretching and inhaling loudly, not even 
bothering to cover his mouth.
     Alex looked at least half-Japanese, probably more, but his 
style was certainly different.  His hair was dyed what should have 
been red, but in his hair, it seemed more bronze than anything.  
Probably due to the early hour of Satoru's landing, Alex's clothes 
were haphazardly chosen and worn.  A wrinkled blue flannel and 
khaki pants offset dingy tennis shoes that had been white once, 
but had long since been scuffed gray.
     The boy finished his yawn with a nod.  "It's nothing," he 
mumbled through a thick American accent.  "I'll open the trunk."  
He pressed a button on a tiny remote hanging from his key chain, 
and the trunk of the white sports coupe sprung open obediently.  
Satoru placed his backpack in the trunk and closed it gingerly.  
Moving cautiously around the idling car, he climbed in as humbly 
as he could.
     "I hope you don't mind loud music," Alex began.  "I have 
trouble staying awake without it."  He smiled sleepily at Satoru, 
who nodded emphatically.
     "By all means, please stay awake."
     "Thank you."  Alex pressed a few buttons on his stereo's 
front panel, and started pulling out of the parking lot.  The 
noise of the engine drowned out the player's sound for a few 
minutes, but once they were on the highway, Alex turned up the 
volume.  The music sounded too familiar to be anything else.  Alex 
began, "This is--"
     "--Floater," Satoru murmured.  "I've heard them before."
     "Is that so?  I didn't know Floater was famous in Japan."
     "Kaori listens to them."
     "Who?"
     "Nobody."  Satoru took a moment to gather his courage.  
"Actually..."
     "Yes?"
     "Could you pick something else?"
     Alex smiled.  "Sure.  Floater is kind of depressing, huh?"
     "Yeah.  A little."
     "Okay.  Something positive, then."  Making a point of not 
watching the nearly empty road, Alex punched a few more buttons on 
his stereo's keypad, and smiled.  "This should cheer you up, and 
keep me awake."
     A four-count and a blast of music.  "What is this?"  Satoru 
yelled over the guitars and cheering.
     "Rush!"
     "Is that the song's name, or the band's?"
     "The band.  The song is called...  I don't know how to say it 
in Japanese."  He mumbled something in English, then, "Sorry."
     "It's okay."
     "Can you read English?"
     "A little."
     "In the back seat is the CD case.  Go ahead and read the 
title if you want..."
     "That's okay."  Satoru sighed inwardly and turned his weary 
gaze to the passenger-side window.
     The blurred scenery pressed at Satoru's eyes, forcing its way 
into his jet-lagged brain.  He closed his eyes to it, hoping that 
perhaps Alex would find it in his heart to turn the music down 
just enough to let him get a little sleep.
     Alex didn't turn the music down, but, as Satoru found, dozing 
turned out to be much easier than he had predicted.  And as he 
napped, he saw her.

     "Satoru?"  The sleeping boy first felt the gentle shake, and 
smiled inwardly.  he could hear Kaori's voice.  It rang between 
the darkness and light, like music from the Spheres.  He let his 
eyelids lay closed for a little longer as he leaned over and 
sighed.
     "Yeah, baby?" he purred.  
     "What the heck are you doing?"
     Perhaps it was the shock of new light when he finally opened 
his eyes, or the sudden change in Kaori's voice, but something 
drove a sharp nail into his brain.  He pulled back, and saw Alex 
cringing on the other side of the car.
     "Where's Kaori?"
     "Who's Kaori?"
     "What?"
     "Kaori.  Who is she.  And why did you call me 'baby'?"
     "I didn't.  I called Kao... oh."  Satoru felt the blood rush 
to his face.  "I... I'm sorry!"
     "It's nothing.  You were sleeping."  Alex smiled.  "I take it 
you're here for Kaori?"
     "It's a long story, but, yeah, I guess so."
     "You two must be close."
     "Or one of us has delusions," Satoru mumbled.
     "Anyway, we're here.  I guess this is where I let you off."
     "I guess so."  Satoru's mind flashed something familiar, and 
he remembered Kaori's letter.  "Oh yeah."  He reached into his 
pocket and pulled out the plain white envelope.  "Yumiko wanted me 
to give this to you."
     "A letter?  It's probably a receipt request," Alex snickered 
as he tore the envelope along the top.  "She can be a little 
ruthless sometimes."
     The car fell into a silence as Alex read the letter.  Satoru 
thought that maybe he should stay until the letter was read, just 
in case Yumiko had some special instructions Satoru had forgotten.  
He unlocked the door discreetly, and was ready to open the door 
when Alex looked up from the handwritten note.
     "I guess our trip together isn't quite done yet."
     "What?"
     "Yumiko says that I should let you call..." he consulted the 
note.  "...Ami from my room."  Alex grinned.
     "Thank you," Satoru looked away for a second.
     "It's nothing."
     Satoru smiled and opened the door.  "Are we walking from 
here?"
     "Yeah.  My dorm room is a couple of blocks away."  Satoru 
stretched again and leaned against his car.  "I was going to say 
this at the airport, but I forgot."  Alex snapped to a stiff 
military salute and smiled.  "Welcome to America, Satoru."
     The trip to Alex's dorm was essentially uneventful, but 
Satoru couldn't help but try desperately to absorb all the details 
of the short walk.
     Some of the trees were strangely still green in place, even 
though it was near mid-November.  Others had lost all their 
leaves, revealing to the world the multitude of squirrels and 
chipmunks scrambling about them.
     Dawn had just arrived, but the new sun barely passed through 
the thick clouds hanging low to the ground.  It was almost like 
fog, but just high enough off the ground not to touch the 
rooftops.
     "That's the PLC building," Alex chuckled.  "The ugliest 
building in Eugene."
     Satoru grinned.  He couldn't argue.  Before he could linger 
on the utilitarian structure, Alex drew his eyes across the 
street.  This is Friendly Hall, and that over there is the EMU.  
It's the student center.  It has a computer lab if you want to 
check your e-mail or something like that."
     "None of my friends use e-mail."
     "Oh.  Well, we'll skip it, then.  The people there are really 
rude anyway."
     Satoru chuckled.  "You don't have much allegiance to the 
school, do you?"
     "I went because my parents live here and I can get local 
tuition."  Alex shook his head.  "It's cheap, at least."
     "I know what you mean."
     "You going to a local university."
     "Yeah.  My high school had a program with Nekomi Tech where 
students with good grades got discounted tuition.  I lucked out, I 
guess."
     "Bad school?"
     "Not really, it's probably just all the stress lately."
     "I understand completely.  Here we are.  Good old Bean."
     "Huh?"
     "This," Alex dramatically pointed to the decaying brick 
monolith standing on walls of tinted glass, "is Bean Hall, home of 
all the freshmen who weren't smart enough to get into the 
fraternities."
     "I see."
     "My room's on the second floor."  Alex unlocked a cracked 
glass door and motioned humbly.  "This way, sir."

     Alex's room was only slightly larger than Satoru's back home, 
so he didn't feel too jealous.  The building's atmosphere also 
left a lot to be desired, but he didn't mention it aloud, though 
he didn't argue whenever Alex complained about his college 
environment.
     "The phone's right there.  You have the number?"
     Satoru dug through his backpack and found an old note from 
Kaori.  "Yeah."
     "You might want to wait until later in the morning, unless 
it's life-or-death."
     Satoru paused, then grabbed the phone.  "Thanks."
     Alex blinked.  "No problem."

4:02 PM.
     "Sorry you had trouble getting ahold of me earlier," Ami 
Kurobashi said solemnly.  "I was at class until three."
     "It's quite all right.  So long as Kaori's okay."  Satoru 
looked at the room, the Spartan nature of Kaori's side made him 
cringe.  "Where is she?"
     "She should be here in a few minutes.  Her psych class is 
just getting over."
     Satoru nodded.  "How does she look?"
     Ami opened her mouth to speak, but failed to.  She shook her 
head, slowly.  Satoru felt his stomach begin to knot.
     The door opened, and Kaori entered.  When she saw Satoru, she 
dropped her backpack, and stormed out the door back into the hall.  
Ami stood.
     "I'll be back in a second."
     After a few minutes, the door opened again, and Kaori entered 
reluctantly, closing it behind her.  Satoru moved to stand, but 
she shook her head, and looked back towards the hall.  "All right, 
you've got me here."
     "Are you all right?"
     "Fine.  Never better."
     "I don't believe you."
     Kaori snapped her gaze on him.  "You're calling me a liar 
now?"
     "I'm not--"
     "--This is ridiculous!  I don't have to take this from you."  
She put her hand on the doorknob, but didn't turn it.
     "I... I'm sorry."  Satoru motioned next to him.  "Please?"  
     Reluctantly, Kaori sat down next to him.  He put his hand on 
her shoulder; she didn't react.
     "I know what he did to you," he whispered.
     She stared at him for a long moment, completely motionless.  
Her eyes, empty at first, filled slowly with the meaning of his 
words.
     "You know?"  Kaori's voice crept through her tightening 
throat.  Her lip quivered, and she bit it self-consciously.  She 
squeezed her eyes shut, and slowly pulled them open, as if she had 
to remind herself to do so.  Everything seemed to be an effort.
     "Yes."  Satoru could feel his words pushing against her 
defenses.  "We need to talk about it."
     Again, the words took a moment to penetrate.  Kaori swallowed 
hard, and shook her head no.  "I don't have anything to say to 
you."
     Satoru closed his eyes, steeling himself for the worst.
     "Kaori," he began.  She didn't look up.  "He hurt you."
     "So what?"  She yanked her shoulder away.  "So what if he 
did?"
     "Huh?"  Satoru groped for sane recourse.
     "You don't think I'm strong enough, do you?"
     "I..."
     "You think I'm weak, some little girl you can feel big and 
strong fighting over.  So you decided to fly over here and play 
'big brother'.  So what?  Just because I'm acting a little weird 
to you doesn't mean I need you chasing after me, telling me 
everything gonna be all right."
     "Kaori, something's not right here.  Look, I've known you 
forever.  I know when something's wrong.  And something's very, 
very wrong.  Ryan--"
     "--Enough with him, okay?  Maybe I changed because I wanted 
to change.  Did that ever enter your petty little mind?  That I 
might be outgrowing you and your friends?  Or is the thought of 
letting me grow even a little so foreign to you that you feel the 
overwhelming urge to smother me at every turn?"
     Satoru took a deep breath.  "But I lo--"
     "--Love me, right?  Just because you love me doesn't make 
flying over here to 'rescue' me right.  It doesn't make any of it 
right.  Nothing you've ever done for me has been good for me.  
Nothing you've done has ever been in anything but your own best 
interest."
     "I've always thought of you first," Satoru attempted.  Kaori 
went quiet for a moment, and stepped very close.  She was shaking, 
her eyes red and streaming tears.
     "You lying fucker!"  Satoru wanted to cover his ears, but 
found he couldn't move.  "I don't want to ever see you again!"
     Kaori threw open the door and bolted from the room.  Satoru 
couldn't move; he wanted to run after her, but his legs refused to 
move.
     "I've lost her," he realized.
     "That wasn't meant for you."  Ami stood in the doorway, lips 
pursed sympathetically.
     "It seemed pretty accurate to me."
     Ami looked at her shoes.  "Umm...  I'll go find her, okay?  I 
don't like leaving her alone right now."
     Satoru was already putting his coat on.  "I'll go with you."
     "You stay here.  You may not have been her real target, but I 
don't think she should see you right now."
     "But--"
     "--No.  Just wait here.  I'll bring her back."

     Satoru felt suddenly exhausted; jet-lag and stress clawed at 
him, and he could feel his eyes closing involuntarily.  He let his 
head fall to Kaori's pillow.  It felt so soft, as if the fact she 
had slept on it imbued it with a comforting power.  Closing his 
eyes shut completely, he drew a lingering breath through his 
nostrils.
     Satoru tried to smile.  At least she smelled the same...

     A sudden creaking brought Satoru out of unconsciousness.
     "I'm sorry."  Kaori stepped in and flopped down beside him.  
She kissed him on the cheek.  "Do you forgive me?"
     "Of course," Satoru began.  "But I'm still confused."
     "Ami says I was acting out.  I guess I got so angry, I 
started seeing you as Ryan, and I went off."
     "So you're that mad at Ryan?"
     "Not any more.  I've said my piece."
     "I see..."
     Kaori grinned.  "Don't worry about it."
     "But he hurt you."
     "Satoru," she huffed pleasantly.  "I wanted him to."
     "What?"
     She giggled.  "I liked it."
     Satoru shook his head.
     "He fucked me, you know."  She looked at her fingernails.  
"He said I was his first time, but I knew he'd done it before."
     "This is a nightmare."
     "Nope."  After a satisfied pause, Kaori continued.  "It kinda 
hurt, but I liked it that way.  He said I would have made a good 
geisha."
     "Nightmare," Satoru repeated.  "Nightmare, nightmare, 
nightmare."
     "Reality, reality, reality."  Kaori grinned.  "Do you know 
how big he is?"

6:37 PM.
     Satoru bolted to a sitting position at the sound of the door 
creaking open.  Kaori stepped in as he gulped for air, shaking off 
the dream.
     "Are you okay?"
     "I just had a... Nothing.  I'm fine."
     "Oh."  Kaori shifted in place.  "I, uh..."  She bit her lip.  
"I want to apologize."
     "It's okay."
     "No, it's not."
     "Well, I accept your apology."
     She shook her head emphatically.  "I was thoughtless.  I had 
no idea what I was saying--"
     "--It's okay."
     "It was like something took over.  I didn't mean what I was 
saying."
     "Kaori, it's--"
     "--I never thought it was in me, but I guess somewhere deep 
down it was.  Funny how you never know yourself--"
     "--Kaori!"
     Kaori snapped her mouth shut.
     "It's okay."
     "But, I'll never be able to do that again."
     Satoru smiled wryly.  "That's fine by me."
     "But..."
     "But what?"  He realized he obviously wasn't getting 
something, and his concern came boiling back.
     "That's what I wanted to tell you."
     "What?"  Here it comes...
     "Ami wanted me to tell you, actually.  I didn't think it 
was...." Kaori gathered herself.  "Well, maybe I did think it was 
important, but I didn't think you really needed to know."
     "Know what?"  Satoru tried desperately to remain calm.  
"Please."  He took Kaori's hand.  "Tell me."
     "Ryan..."  She shut her eyes.  "I can't."
     "You can."
     "Okay."  She stood and moved beside Satoru; he kept her hand 
in his.  He let her take a few deep breaths before he tried a 
coaxing squeeze.  Kaori nodded, and opened her mouth.
     Kaori shook her head.  "I... no.  I can't."
     Satoru's heart doubled in pace at the thought of his next 
words.
     "Tell me, dammit!"
     Kaori's eyes dilated.  "Oh my God.  Ryan... we... he..."
     Satoru wanted to help her, to prompt her; he couldn't find 
any words.  He didn't want to find them.  But, as he looked at his 
best friend, and saw her sudden, singular shudder, he knew he 
wouldn't have to coax her any more.
     "We went to a movie and he took me to his apartment and he 
gave me wine and we talked and he kept giving me wine and I got 
drunk and he took off my clothes and I said no but he didn't 
listen and he said everything would be okay and I was too drunk to 
stop him and he kissed me and put me on his bed and climbed on top 
of me and oh my god oh my god oh my god!" 
     Kaori was hyperventilating now.  Satoru felt suddenly dizzy.  
Smiling voices from his nightmare saturated his ears, but he 
pushed them to one side.
     She began heaving sobs, losing her words in them.  As Satoru 
put his arm around her, her cries grew.  He pulled her close, 
wrapping her in his arms; she curled tightly in his grasp.
     Holding her didn't feel like he thought it would.  All the 
times he had fantasized about it, he never thought she'd feel like 
this in his arms.  It seemed more like hugging a little girl than 
the woman he had grown up with.
     Then Satoru remembered why he was holding her.
     "Shhh.  That's it, you just cry," he whispered as he rocked 
the girl gently in his arms.
     "I'm so sorry..."  She dug her face deeper into his chest.
     "Don't be.  Just cry."
     She screamed into his chest.  He felt it more than he heard 
it; he was glad for that.  He smiled with regret and hugged her 
tighter.  "That's it," he coaxed.  Kaori screamed again, and let 
it fall into a steady, moaning cry.  
     She cried until she fell asleep.  Satoru held her while she 
dozed, humming a lullaby that pushed itself from some dusty corner 
of memory.  Maybe it was because of Kaori's shuddering breaths, or 
the smell of her tears, or the warmth of her body, or some 
paternal instinct once dormant now awake.
     The melody was simple; after a few minutes, the lyrics came 
back to him, appearing in his head as he sang them.
     "Don't cry, my darling.  Don't cry tonight.  Tomorrow you'll 
see the sun, my darling.  Tomorrow will be fine."  As he sang and 
rocked, he felt his throat tighten around the lyrics, choking the 
light notes, turning the lullaby into a sort of melodic weeping.  
Satoru allowed himself a small sniffling tremor, hoping it 
wouldn't jar her awake.  A sniff and a sudden exhale announced 
Kaori's emergence from sleep.
     "Don't," she managed.  The girl swallowed hard and tried 
again.  "Please don't cry."  She shifted in his arms, bringing her 
head to rest next to his.  "Lay down," she whispered.
     Satoru loosened his grip around her, and complied.  Kaori lay 
close, draping her arms around him.  "You're good to cuddle with," 
she noted with a tired smile.  "You're a lot better when you're 
not crying, though."
     "I could say the same about you."
     Kaori drew herself against Satoru, and kissed him on the 
cheek.  "Just hold me for a while."  Even though his stomach 
turned somersaults of unfamiliar nervousness at the request, when 
he looked at her, her eyes told him that she would not be denied 
her wish.
     And so, Satoru held Kaori closely through the night...

                         *    *    *    *

1:13 AM.
     Satoru was crying even before he saw the familiar contents of 
the box: the last letter from Kaori, and the picture of her and 
Ryan.  She was smiling.  Still smiling.  Satoru couldn't feel the 
anger he had felt the first few times he had remembered back, when 
the liquor bottle was full, and sometimes two or three drinks came 
from its welcome neck.  Only nostalgia, tinged with bouts of 
melancholy and pinpricks of regret.
     The man laughed through the reflexive tears; he knew better 
than all this.  "This is ancient history," he reminded himself.  
"I should burn all this, and move on."
     "I always thought you should have."  Kaori shut the door 
behind her and strolled to her husband's recliner.  She hugged him 
affectionately from behind.  "I hate it when you get this way," 
she murmured.  "It really puts a damper on the day."  She kissed 
Satoru's neck just below the ear, and let her lips remind her 
husband of what he hadn't felt since that morning.
     "Come to bed," she whispered.
     "Let me put this to bed first," Satoru grinned lopsidedly.  
Kaori let go reluctantly as her husband stretched and picked 
himself out of his plush chair.  She looked at him with satisfied 
bemusement as he marched solemnly to the kitchen, carrying the 
shoe box above his head like a coffin.
     "...And so they lived many happy years, and the promised 
tasks were completed."  Satoru set the box gently on the counter 
and continued.
     "Yet long afterward, when all had passed away into distant 
memory, there were many who wondered whether King Satoru, Queen 
Kaori, and their companions had indeed walked the earth..."  He 
opened the cupboard doors under the sink, and pulled the waste 
basket out.  "...Or whether they had been no more than dreams set 
down to beguile children."
     Satoru opened the box, and considered the contents with a sad 
smile.  "And, in time," he murmured as he dropped the letter and 
photo and shoe box into the waste basket, "only the bards knew the 
truth of it."  He set the basket back under the sink and closed 
the doors.
     "That's a pretty story," Kaori cooed.  "Lloyd Alexander?"
     Satoru nodded.  "I used to think it was silly, but ever since 
Yumiko's been asking me to tell her bedtime stories..."  Satoru 
turned to Kaori.  Her smile warmed him, and he couldn't wait a 
second longer.
     "Come here," he sighed.  He embraced Kaori tightly, and let 
their lips meet.  They stayed in their kiss for a satisfied moment 
before they parted, their lips regretting.  "Have I told you today 
how much I adore you?"
     Kaori glanced at her watch.  "It's well after midnight, so, 
no, you haven't."  Satoru chuckled and kissed Kaori again.
     "Then, please forgive me.  I adore you more than..."  The 
pair strolled to the stairwell.  "...Oh, I dunno.  More than 
anything."  A pause.  "How was your concert?"
     "Not bad.  Nice to play in town for a change."  She let the 
silence of early morning fill her lungs before she added, "I'm 
thinking about stopping this whole touring thing, though."
     Satoru stopped at the first step and looked at his wife.  
"Why?"
     Kaori smiled.  "I have to keep an eye on you somehow," she 
snickered.  "You get to thinking too much when I'm gone."
     "That I do," Satoru agreed lazily.  "That I do."  He yawned 
comfortably and smiled.  "Let's get to bed.  I want to be awake 
for Yumiko's first day at school."
     "You'd better be," Kaori wagged her finger scornfully, "or 
I'll never forgive you."
     "Yes, ma'am."
     "Don't start *that* again.  I thought I'd broken you of that 
habit."
     "Yes ma'am."
     "You're impossible.  Simply impossible."
     "Why, thank you.  I hear I'm pretty good to cuddle with, 
too."
     "Where'd you hear such a thing?"
     "Oh, I dunno."  He smiled.  "A little girl told me once."

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